Ultimately, if you want your ex back after they’ve ended it, you’ve already lost the battle. Fair enough you can’t switch feelings off over night but if it’s been an appropriate amount of time, they have a rebound/new relationship, just get out. They’ll never respect you for still wanting them after they got rid of you and wanting them when they are sleeping with someone else. It’s unattractive, low value and repulsive. From experience, the best option is to move on. It happened to me, my fiancé of 5 years walked out and cancelled our fully booked and paid for wedding 18 months ago. Better people are out there. I promise. You don’t have to lose weight, ramp up your social life, start a degree, cut your hair, throw yourself into your hobbies. When you date other people you can actually be yourself rather than be a circus performer for your ex.
My ex tried calling me from a parent's phone one year into no contact. A year earlier she never wanted to speak again, so I respected her wishes. Thanks to no contact I went back to my normal better self and found a woman who Is much better fit for me. While I still miss my ex from time to time, I don't return to people who didn't want me. You deserve better.
Just got divorced... I hinestly think I'm so much better without her. I think she's got a lot of damage / trauma and I don't know if I could have a good relationship with her. I also felt like she held me back from being the best version of myself. All that said I still think about her every day.
What if he seems to not care if I went on a date he actually wants me to he wants his ex back. They split up 16 years ago and she got married and still is but she isn’t happy in her marriage. She seems to want him back to. I found out they had been talking behind my back and he was asking her the what if she never cheated how things may have been. He was with her for two years and just left me after 9 years and our relationship was good all these years until he started talking to her.
Hummm.....I'm a mother of a son on the spectrum. My best advice would be to not talk too much and not too much emotions! These things tend to make him confused and want to shut off from others. Just reach out with authentic concern when you think you can without being too emotional. Good luck
Hi so if my ex is the avoidant type and 30 days of NC goes past, she will be happy after 10? Or is that saying 3 times the 30 so 90 needs to go by? I’m confused
He recommends unblocking them immediately so they can see what you’re up to. That way when she’s curious she can see what you’re up to and feel like she’s missing out. Don’t add her back if you unfollowed her, but unblock her for sure.
My ex and I broke up twice, and got back together once. And he got a new girlfriend after 4 months of breaking up the second time, and it was with a girl he talked poorly of and claimed he didn’t like anymore, when we got back together. They’ve already said I love you a month within their relationship, and they keep posting a lot. Should I be liking his posts of them, or avoiding them entirely? Because I do want to try to get him back...
Marissa you might hit "like" to show you're strong or support them.. but you said you want them back. So really you dont "like" it. As im going through my own breakup(5 months) focus on you, be amazing, acomplish things..and maybe put the time in a brand new guy(if you're ready of course)
@@marissaknights2918 No. Do not do anything. do not even watch their stories. Do not let them know that you are watching. When you hit like, when you see their stories and they get to know, they talk about you. bond over you. Why would you let the rebound bond with your ex over you. You may think wow they are talking about me, but in reality your ex is having to feed their ego of how amazing the rebound is and say bad things about you, remember how this relationship ended and was not good and blah blah! Do not give them that chance. Let the rebound have them, Exes always come back. Trust me.
My ex broke up with my 3 months ago and we BOTH really struggled, he told me he still loved me but needed to focus on him etc because we became toxic. He couldn't see me because he was in a lot of pain. It was because of this I did not go into no contact (bad move, I know), because I know him and he is stubborn and if I left him alone long enough he would convince himself to not get back with me and I did not want to let that happen. He's just told me he doesn't love me anymore and we will never work. Do I have any hope at turning things around? I do not understand how he can go from loving me (and saving money to by buy a ring) to just not being in love with me anymore. In the past, I've tried to break up with him because of our differences and coming from difference worlds and he always convinced me that didn't matter. He's now used those words against me now and said we will NEVER work, and he has fallen out of love with me and he has genuinely checked out. He told me that he put everything into the relationship and felt that was not reciprocated and that I should be with a guy that will "worship me everyday no matter how I treat him" which is not him. I'm blocked. How do I show him that I can be that person that give him what he wants? What are your thoughts? How can I change his mind? Am I silly to still believe there is hope considering how broken and how much he loved me at the start of the break up? (We were together for 1.5-2 years).
Ultimately, if you want your ex back after they’ve ended it, you’ve already lost the battle.
Fair enough you can’t switch feelings off over night but if it’s been an appropriate amount of time, they have a rebound/new relationship, just get out.
They’ll never respect you for still wanting them after they got rid of you and wanting them when they are sleeping with someone else. It’s unattractive, low value and repulsive.
From experience, the best option is to move on. It happened to me, my fiancé of 5 years walked out and cancelled our fully booked and paid for wedding 18 months ago. Better people are out there. I promise.
You don’t have to lose weight, ramp up your social life, start a degree, cut your hair, throw yourself into your hobbies. When you date other people you can actually be yourself rather than be a circus performer for your ex.
It seems that your attitude in life is what got you dumped in the first place. You literally had no value in the eyes of your ex fiancé 😂
THATS WHY HE DUMPED YOU
Day 35 no contact. My ex just reached out.
For men it’s not like this unfortunately.
Are there any men here its worked for?
Well I ignored one of my exes for 2 years and then became friends after because he doesn't deserve another chance.
I am on day 13 after being dumped and it feels like 3 months. Granted, I dumped him three times first. It was toxic but I miss him.
My ex tried calling me from a parent's phone one year into no contact. A year earlier she never wanted to speak again, so I respected her wishes. Thanks to no contact I went back to my normal better self and found a woman who Is much better fit for me. While I still miss my ex from time to time, I don't return to people who didn't want me. You deserve better.
Just got divorced...
I hinestly think I'm so much better without her. I think she's got a lot of damage / trauma and I don't know if I could have a good relationship with her. I also felt like she held me back from being the best version of myself.
All that said I still think about her every day.
This was by far in my opinion on of the most useful videos. I love it!
Sometimes when they come back it’s because you let them go.
Two years of relationship..but now 5 month of no contact..no contact works only if your patner have any feelings... for u and ur relationship
What if he seems to not care if I went on a date he actually wants me to he wants his ex back. They split up 16 years ago and she got married and still is but she isn’t happy in her marriage. She seems to want him back to. I found out they had been talking behind my back and he was asking her the what if she never cheated how things may have been. He was with her for two years and just left me after 9 years and our relationship was good all these years until he started talking to her.
Can you please please please talk about men on the autismspectra and asperger. And how to get them back. Pleeeease
Hummm.....I'm a mother of a son on the spectrum. My best advice would be to not talk too much and not too much emotions! These things tend to make him confused and want to shut off from others. Just reach out with authentic concern when you think you can without being too emotional. Good luck
@@virgochick1 thank you ♥️
38 days and she is silent 🤦♂️
I at least want my closure and answers to questions.
I guess the silence is my answer.
One day she’s the nicest thing the next day she’s the worst
9 months my ex just reached out
Update?
I don’t want her, that’s a headache
Is it an appropriate idea with the avoidant attachment that I moved to another city in social media ???????
Is it an appropriate idea with the avoidant attachment that I moved to another city in social media
Hi so if my ex is the avoidant type and 30 days of NC goes past, she will be happy after 10? Or is that saying 3 times the 30 so 90 needs to go by? I’m confused
I blocked her after she broke up with me so social media is out the question, any other ways or tips around that ?
Mutual friends maybe?
Did you block her also on telephone Calls?
He recommends unblocking them immediately so they can see what you’re up to. That way when she’s curious she can see what you’re up to and feel like she’s missing out. Don’t add her back if you unfollowed her, but unblock her for sure.
7% of population is FA, and ofc i hit that 😂
My ex and I broke up twice, and got back together once. And he got a new girlfriend after 4 months of breaking up the second time, and it was with a girl he talked poorly of and claimed he didn’t like anymore, when we got back together. They’ve already said I love you a month within their relationship, and they keep posting a lot. Should I be liking his posts of them, or avoiding them entirely? Because I do want to try to get him back...
@@MSK_05 so i shouldn’t even like the posts they make of them?
@@marissaknights2918 no
Marissa you might hit "like" to show you're strong or support them.. but you said you want them back. So really you dont "like" it. As im going through my own breakup(5 months) focus on you, be amazing, acomplish things..and maybe put the time in a brand new guy(if you're ready of course)
@@marissaknights2918 No. Do not do anything. do not even watch their stories. Do not let them know that you are watching. When you hit like, when you see their stories and they get to know, they talk about you. bond over you. Why would you let the rebound bond with your ex over you. You may think wow they are talking about me, but in reality your ex is having to feed their ego of how amazing the rebound is and say bad things about you, remember how this relationship ended and was not good and blah blah! Do not give them that chance. Let the rebound have them, Exes always come back. Trust me.
@@MSK_05 they don't always come back lol
So if my ex has an avoidant style would It better to make a 45days no contact??...
90 day minimum
My ex broke up with my 3 months ago and we BOTH really struggled, he told me he still loved me but needed to focus on him etc because we became toxic. He couldn't see me because he was in a lot of pain. It was because of this I did not go into no contact (bad move, I know), because I know him and he is stubborn and if I left him alone long enough he would convince himself to not get back with me and I did not want to let that happen. He's just told me he doesn't love me anymore and we will never work. Do I have any hope at turning things around? I do not understand how he can go from loving me (and saving money to by buy a ring) to just not being in love with me anymore. In the past, I've tried to break up with him because of our differences and coming from difference worlds and he always convinced me that didn't matter. He's now used those words against me now and said we will NEVER work, and he has fallen out of love with me and he has genuinely checked out. He told me that he put everything into the relationship and felt that was not reciprocated and that I should be with a guy that will "worship me everyday no matter how I treat him" which is not him. I'm blocked. How do I show him that I can be that person that give him what he wants? What are your thoughts? How can I change his mind? Am I silly to still believe there is hope considering how broken and how much he loved me at the start of the break up? (We were together for 1.5-2 years).