The "Father Wound" You Carry
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
- John Lovell sits down w/ Stronger Man Nation founder Josh McPherson for an honest look at the "Father Wound" all men carry, what Red Pill Movement gets wrong and how every dad can become the man they're meant to be.
(you'll want to book mark this video for future use... It's one banger of a chat!)
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“No other success can compensate for failure in the home.”
I remember when my dad went from being someone who was clueless, to being wiser than I ever knew. That was right before I figured out that he hadn't suddenly gotten smarter. I just suddenly noticed.
Same. Went from “you don’t have anything to teach me” in my teens to apologizing for my ways and thanking them for how they handled me.
Lol I had the same experience with my father. Couldn't believe how blind I was before.
Amen to that. I always disregarded my father’s wisdom as a teenager and young adult because I thought I knew better. Man was I wrong and I wish so so badly that I heeded his advice for young me, would’ve saved me a lot of heartache but unfortunately that’s the cycle of life for a young man.
I thought my Dad was a complete idiot and didn't understand how the real world works until i was about 22... It took 22 years to realize he forgot more about being a man than I'll ever know.
Same here guys. It took a long time before I realized it as well.
Lost my dad at 14 still want to call him many times. I'm 31 now. Still looking for his satisfaction. Miss ya pops
It's those feelings that remind us he's still with us watching over you. He's telling you he is satisfied and proud of you.
Lost mine at 26. I’m 38 now and I still feel a massive void where he’s missing and wish he was here for guidance often.
@@wildballistics5149 that's the main thing. Guidance. Just his thoughts on whatever subject is at hand. I find myself asking what he would do in this situation often. I still make my own decision but it would be wonderful to have his input.
We’ll gentlemen the fact that miss your fathers says much. I’m an old guy and I’ve come to the conclusion that every man’s goal should be to make the world a better place by being a better man, a better father, a better citizen. Help the weak or downtrodden, don’t take crap from people, hug your children and be capable of harming people if it’s a life and death situation. Be as kind as people let you be and as tough as people make you be. Look people in the eye, shake hands firmly and always keep your word. Be fair, honest and truthful and you’ll die in peace.
@@donaldturner5124Thank ya, sir for your wisdom. It really is that that simple ain’t it.
When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my dad. I accidentally took a misstep and fell to the ground, cutting my knees. Dad gently bent down and began to clean the wound, removing the little pebbles now embedded in my skin as I cried.I'd always heard adults talk about it, but I finally knew what they were talking about.I'll never forget the pain of my first kid knee stones.
😂
Groan!😒
No one gives a fuck
You got me! 😅
Well done sir.
No truer words than Dads doing the best with what they had. My Dad was physically abused from his Father growing up but not once was I ever physically abused. Breaking generational trauma must be one of the hardest things for anyone to do.
Break chains✝️♥️
@@lawofliberty3517 Amen
As a father who has been absent for closing in on 3 years, this was very hard for me to hear but I a good way.
Myself, my son and his mother lived together for the first 5 years of his life and saw her and I fight almost every single day.
After we split, she continued to try to make my life miserable at every step along side trying to smear my name. I just simply wanted to get along and just have a good relationship with my son and be a dad.
I left because I ended up living in my car/working on the road and staying in a constant state of severe depression. I hated my life.
I chose to not drag my child through the fire because I felt it that he did not deserve to be traumatized at such a young age.
But my son is very smart and so far has been able to see through at least some of the BS he’s been fed from his mother. Not saying I was perfect because I definitely was not.
I have spend the last almost 3 years focusing on my relationship with Jesus and rebuilding my life. Now I own my own place and 7 acres that I am building into a HOME.
Really just needed to get it off my chest because I feel horribly guilty for leaving him even though he and I spoke about it and I told him many many many times that I was going to have to leave and that he had to be strong until I got back because it could be a while.
Short story long, Jesus saves and YOU CAN COME BACK FROM WHATEVER.
Still have a long way to go and I miss my son dearly.
This message really really hit close to my heart.
🫡
Its never too late brother
I had a polish girl get knocked up and then take my son and leave and when j was trying to make it work I got hit and abused and disrespected. They are in poland I'm in canada with a huge house, tons of money and stability.... meanwhile she prefers a tiny cat pee stinking flat and no job...... women don't care about their children, only about feeling important .
I never had a dad growing up. And I always knew it affected me as a father. Most of the time, I don't know if I'm doing it right. My son today was rewarded with a certificate for being the best behaved child in VBS and being able to memorize the most Bible verses. As a father, I couldn't be more proud. And I thank God for helping me help my son accomplish this. That being said, I give most of the credit to my wife, whom God also gifted me with.
If pastors were more like this man generally, younger generations wouldnt be so lost.
I agree. Religion and relationships are not learned simply by reading the word. A pastor preacher or whomever is in front of people must be able to connect with those listening. There have only been a handful of sermons that I can recall as clear as day from my youth. They 100% hit you like nothing else in life.
My dad was an alcoholic and when I was younger, I hated him, because it was so embarrassing, but after I was grown up and became a father myself and understood the reasons why, I was able to forgive him and we had a better relationship before he died.
Wow! I feel so lucky. The only wound that I feel because of my father is the wound that he’s no longer with us. I lost him two years ago when he was 92. He grew up during the great depression and World War II and fought in the Korean War. I never once heard that man use his hardships growing up, of which he had many, as an excuse for anything. Never once did he give anyone a “why me” attitude. I am one of the lucky ones who did not have a good man as a dad. I had a great man as a dad.
92 is a great run glad you got so many years with him!!! My mothers father who died before I was born was a hard ass colonel in the US Army and served in WwII and Korea as well. She described him the same you do your father.
@@natestain7103 Thank you so much! Right up until he passed, even at 92 dad was sharp as a tack and as strong as any 92 year old could be. I would sit for hours with him and listen to his stories about growing up during the depression and World War II and his old truck driving stories and stories of when he was in Korea. The man could’ve written a book and it would’ve been a best-selling novel in my opinion! Thanks again!
As a 36 yr old, I was far far to old when I realized how important my father was. I always loved him and tried to be respectful but I didn’t understand certain things and I was too angry. Looking back I see so much more.. so much more than me or my brothers understood. The sacrifices he made, and the work he did that we didn’t see. Among the good men I was surrounded by growing up, he was always there making everything possible and I never saw it till far too late.
Now I’m trying to spend as much time with him as I can. He’s the best man I personally know. Hopefully I’m half as strong as he must be.
I feel like you are on the right track to be. Stay strong.
At age 12, 2 ladies commented how much I favored my dad, his response was " I was never fat like he is". Now at age 50 I continue with self hatred. I know it isn't right but I can't shake it. No matter how big my muscles ever got or how successful I have been, I never measure up! My ultimate identity is in Christ but this is still a scar.
The enemy lies to you to keep you bound. Jesus did the work already we know who wins. God Bless you brother.
You are and have always been good enough brother.
this cuts deep for me. im now the father of a 1 year old. and I grew up without my father around. I had a step father. but they were abusive. ive literally been left by my own father and watched the "father figure I did have in my life treat me totally different than the children he had with my mother. its been hard to grapple with but I think its one of the reasons I take my faith in the lord so seriously. all I know is I want to be the best father/dad I can be to my son. while im not perfect im really trying to become greater than my current self. I just pray I can stay on mission. thank you for this video and God bless.
John, My Daughter entered the world 13 days ago. This stuff is like gold to me
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Congratulations!
Thanks guys..she's 29 day old now maybe I'll make a video about being a new dad and post to my RUclips
My dad just passed away on the 22nd. I guess you can say he was my. stepdad he married my mom, when she was pregnant with me, he give me his last name on the birth Certificate It says he’s my father my I thank him for that dad was a lifer in the Navy. he was a Seabee he did two Tours Vietnam I thank my dad for giving his name and I was of him proud for his service to our country I love him ❤
Yes sir, that's your dad. 100%
He was never your stepfather!
My dad did the same thing for me and my mom. He's my hero I still wonder to this day why he chose into that life. I still think it's a miracle that he did because my life would be much worse off if he didn't choose to be my dad knowing I wasn't his by blood.
My "stepdad" was also a seabee took on 3 that wasn't his made the best family anyone could ask for and did way more than what was necessary only hope I can be half the dad he is
I’m hoping I broke the cycle, my father had wounds and demons from his father. I took that and once I became a Father I put all that I saw and went through to build my own stronger version of myself of what I wanted or missed as a child . For this I hope I brought to my wife and children a positive and strong father .
My dad has been gone for 20 years now, and I still miss him every day.
He was hard on us boys, but we learned a ton from him.
He was a WW2 Marine and had seen things most of us couldn't possibly imagine on Saipan, Tarawa, and other hell holes in the Pacific.
How he could go through nearly 4 years of that and come home to raise two healthy sons speaks volumes to that generation.
Sometimes a father’s role is teaching a young man what not to do or the kind of man to not be. Sad lesson to learn, but just as valuable.
My dad is the American cowboy from 40,000 acre ranch (started from 500 acres 1952) . John Wayne took lessons from my dad. But he was so loving, kind and slow to speak. He tried to love all 5 of us kids individually but with Gods love on a popper budget.
My dad was a workaholic. He was barely there for us because he worked so much, and when he was home, he would just have the TV tuned to the news, so he was angry about all the stuff going on in the world. He tried to teach us morals but unfortunately due to his lack of presence, I didn't learn about manhood and masculinity until I reached my 30s. I'm a father of 3 and I'm going to take the good that my father did, but also try to do the good that my father didn't do.
I lost my Dad in a motor cycle accident 31 years ago. I was 4 years old sitting in the front seat of the car while my mother witnessed it happen. This year I'm turning the same age he was when he died, 35. Children need there Dad, and the absence of mine has made this journey difficult. Be safe out there gentlemen. Come home to your family, and think of them when you want to be reckless.
I tell myself i have two different sets of children that have very different views of "their dad", the first group sees the divorced dad that was barely around because i was selfish and bitter and our relationship is still today very strained. Then I have the second group of children that know a home of prayer, forgiveness and love because to God be the Glory I got saved during my second marriage and I'm the leader, husband, and father that wants to be so much more than I was when I was lost. The wounds are real for sure.
Amen!
I learned more about fatherhood in 30 minutes than in 20 years from my own dad, thanks!
Fantastic discussion. Wild at Heart ministry has deeply impacted and influenced my life. Powerful truths and wisdom in this exchange. I’m a father of two boys and daily go to god for wisdom. Pointing them to Jesus and being an example of faithfully following the Lord is key.
We're buried in our phones to escape the pain and misery of our broken reality. We're absent to avoid hurting the ones we love.
Ugh, technology is in many ways destroying our way of life!
Talking about knowing you’re loved vs feeling loved: Though my father was present until after I became a teenager, taught me what good work ethic looks like, manage time properly and how to behave in society through his actions, I really never felt loved. He never showed interest in my interests and pushed hobbies onto me or even tried persuading me school is the only solution for “better opportunities”. My last conversation with my father made me realize he only speaks the words “I love you and only want the best for you” without me ever feeling he truly means them. In contrast, my Granpa (mom’s father) who passed away too early, was the only man in my life who showed me my interests and hobbies. It’s the very reason I never ask for his advice or opinion.
Mr. McPherson was spot on. I am in my 50's and I look back and see No good thing. Scorched Earth! I carry this guilt around daily. Not 1 area I have not failed. Living with this truth is heavy. And before someone says Christ. Trust me I fail HIM the most! Exhausted!
Mr. Lovell have Mr. MCpherson regularly. Talk about these tough topics to assist young me. Everywhere. To help them make changes early so thier 50's are not my 50's. Regards
That point about unforgiveness needs to be hammered home to all people. My parents and grandparents drilled that into me and I got to see it lived out in a very horrific way. For about ten years I was a volunteer chaplain at a nursing home and one of the ladies I had in my bible study was a very sweet but angry woman who had 9 strokes which left her in a wheelchair drooling unable to talk for the most part, unable to function without assistance, just in horrible shape. I found out after a couple of months from the paid chaplain that she REFUSED to forgive her husband for something he had done. If someone brought it up the demon came out of her level anger took her over. She also hated her son who came to see her often. Before her first stroke she was more or less very social and happy, then her husband wronged her and the first stroke happened, and every stroke afterward brought her lower. Forgive, forget, move on, it isn't worth it to hold on to it.
I haven't handled this well myself, and in all honesty all it's making me do is focus on how good of a dad I'm being to my kids. I have come to the conclusion that healing my father wound is the only way I can truly be a good man and be the father my children deserve.
I have a father wound. For 25 years, my kids were my world, and they could rely on me being there for everything, any time. And now when they're out of our home, I feel empty.
12:19 - 12:27
No lie..
Uttered those words to my dad after understanding so many things.
Coolest feeling in the world to stand with my dad, breathe in the same air to understanding as men with the individual achievements to stand on my own.
Made his passing much easier to deal with for me.
This one hits home big time. I was abandoned at 9 months old by my biological mother. Put into foster care. My adopted family always shunned me for my high energy. Whole time I'm accomplishing more than my two older brothers and sister. I was on the honor roll. Leader of the walk run club. Fastest mile in the entire school. Best player on my Christian basketball team. Moved to Michigan and had a reset and kinda stopped caring until I wanted to join the Marines. By my own self motivation, I ran 4-5miles before school. Was in peak physical condition. Broke the record for the most sit-ups at Fort Custer at 242 in 2 minutes. Got kicked out at 17yrs old. Wandered the streets and found family in friends and was blessed with a family who aligned with who I needed.
I pursued my dreams of music and was building momentum. Got full custody of my 1st daughter from an abusive mother. Had her for 11yrs and had 2 more girls within that time. Then because a man beat up a woman on Halloween 2020 in front of my kids. I stepped in, he pulled a gun on me, held a kid hostage, and thankfully, nobody got hurt. Then I lost custody of my oldest, and the relationship between the other two dwindled because I somehow got treated the worst by doing the bravest thing I've experienced in person. Since then I have experienced evil, corruption, gang stalking, Electronic Harassment, sabotage, witchcraft, and my life being played with on several occasions by demonic people. Thankfully I'm not even a trained beast but just incredibly brave and came out unscathed and got some justice.
The biggest hurt is that I always loved my kiddos in the way I never received but because of the evil ways of people. Have suffered more than I did. Then in turn watch them suffer and it's crushed my heart to the point of complete numbness. Not to virtue signal but I have accomplished more great things in my life than almost anyone in my life. Yet got shunned the most. All of which were genuinely good intentioned. With the intent on helping everyone around me by putting myself in better situation financially or in general.
I never succeeded. When my dad died, I was unemployed. No solution to this. He worked his whole life, I failed everywhere.
This video is definitely one to bookmark and revisit for its profound insights.
This is pretty true. My dad left when I was about four years old and I moved in with him when my mom kicked me out when I was 14 because she was having issues with my sister. About a year and a half later my dad kicked me out and my mom let me move back in with her. It took me a long time to kind of get to a place where I was OK with all the issues that come with not having father around or having him be abusive or just not there when he was around and him disappearing all the time, but at some point, I figured out that, he was a kid in high school got sent off to Vietnam and watch a couple of his friends get killed and he came back in his country spit on him and called him a baby killer and he just closed himself off and disappeared mentally and is still kind of dealing with that. I found myself in my early 30s still trying to grow up and figure out what it was to be a man. as a Christian as a grew and learned, I had that as an example. Eventually, I was able to forgive my dad and move on with my life I think. One thing that’s important to remember is that even when you forgive somebody they’re gonna be times when things get thrown back in your face and you feel that resentment again and we were told to forgive again and again again, the whole 7×70 thing, and it’s kind of a process.
I think he’s right though. When you look at simple facts and statistics, almost everybody in prison was raised by a single mom or had an abusive father in the house. People rated the happiest, most successful and least self-destructive in terms of committing crimes doing drugs, etc., or people that had , a healthy father figure. These statistics are consistent with single parents who are males and kids who grew up without mothers. Feminists hate this because we’re all supposed to praise single mothers and hate fathers in this society, but those are just facts kids better with the dad in the house, it’s way better with healthy parents, but even in a parent household they do better with a father and these statistics are pretty overwhelming. It’s around 85% of the time.
I’m not sure I’m a great judge, the only man I have a really had in my life as an influence was either short term a boyfriend of my moms or my grandfather none of which or exactly great examples and I didn’t have these great examples till I became an adult and became a Christian, and then saw through the examples of Jesus and in the Bible and of friends of mine, who are good men that had children and how they interacted with them, but I definitely see it. Especially for a young boy, your father is your example you grow up following an example, I grew up without that example and had a mom who worked a couple of jobs and a grandfather who tolerated us who is around sometimes, but I found myself in my mid 30s just trying to figure life out and figure out how I fit and what I was. Life would’ve been a whole lot easier if I figured a lot of this stuff out by the time I was 14 or 15.
But we get to a point where life is what it is and we can’t change it and at some point, we have to take responsibility for ourselves, figure things out for ourselves and make our own way and it’s great to have that example in your life, but even though it sucks, if you don’t, you still gotta figure it out. Luckily we have a God who gave us a manual and a shining example of what we should be, and we’ve just gotta figure it out from there and sometimes sometimes learn things the hard way, but as I get older, I can tell you that listening to God and his word telling us how to be is what you’ll figure out eventually and it’s much easier to just take that on faith and go from that point than it is to spend decades learning things the hard way .
A lot of Christians think when it talks about generational sin and the sins of your parents that this means God is punishing you for things your parents did, but that’s so very wrong. And it’s talking about generational sin it’s talking about how you were raised in the things you learned incorrectly that lead you to send in part of breaking that curse of generational sin is to let things go and to forgive so those actions and habits of, your family and the errors made, and how you were raised, to let them go to learn how you should be and move on. The way to break generational sin is to recognize where the problem was were and what behavior that came from and how to do things differently. Part of that is to let things go to be reborn or born again and we have a perfect example. In Jesus, we have God‘s word to tell us what we need to do at some point we need to grow up and become independent of our environment of our situation of, our parents or lack there and take responsibility for ourselves and our own actions. Figure out how to do things the right way and then do them. To do that you have to learn to forgive because you can’t let those things go until you learn to forgive you handed over to God let him bring justice and deal with all that, just handed over to him and then concentrate on your own life what you need to do And how to do it and if you don’t have a good parental example, then you go to your Bible if you need to go to a counselor to get an unbiased opinion is not trying to break through a bunch of emotion and trauma and history and baggage, and then you take your own life and start a new, That’s kind of what Born again is when you repent and turn away from your old life and start a new life in Christ following his example and teachings. It’s easy to do in this situation because it’s something that affects you so directly and emotionally even if you don’t acknowledge it. With me it was just a dad who is gone all the time and the few times he was there would just disappear with no notice and It’s much easier said than done and that’s where the forgiveness comes in. It’s hard to get over something and move on. You still have emotional ties and trauma that are active from that previous situation. Forgiveness brings you to a point where you can start to let that stuff go and it may take a while and, you have to forgive over and over and over, but that’s really the only way to proceed and take back your life so you can live it. Prayer is part of it, turn it over to God ask him to take it on and for him to carry that burden, it’s not something where you can just go. Oh well I forgive you and it’s out of your mind so pray for him to work in youand help you do it
I hear you. Jesus is the rock to build on.
I'm thirty five. I am going through life floundering and blundering around. I still don't know how to be a man. I work incredibily hard for very little money. My Dad has always been lazy outside of work and he's so self-absorbed and selfish. He barely knew his Dad growing up. I just wish I could have a break through.
@@josephg.3370 read your Bible and focus on the spiritual side of your life, and the rest of it will kind of come together. You gotta work at it, but God‘s providence will give us everything we need and help us be who we need to be. We just have to learn two align ourselves with his will, and the first part is reading his word and getting to know him and understanding his will. Everything else will work, but that’s what makes it fall into place.
This was so great to hear John, I never realized the impact my father had on me until I got older and more mature. I thank him all the time for shaping me into the man I’ve become and I have nothing but the utmost respect and gratitude for him. I always disregarded his wisdom as a teenager and young adult and man if I listened to him I could’ve saved myself so much heartache. For any young man reading this, please please for your own sake heed your fathers wisdom, and save yourself from your own destructive decisions
I recently became a father 6 months ago but lost mine 3 years ago. I feel like I struggle every day and think I'm failing in some way all the time because my dad was incredible and I'm constantly comparing myself to him. Idk if that's a wound but it's something I'm working on getting better at.
I was and am very lucky to have a dad that grow up on a ranch that taught him the values of a hard life so he could pass them down to us (brothers and sisters) we are very grateful for the raising that we were afforded. Plus church Sunday morning, evening and Wednesday evening. I lived a fortunate life.
38 years old and never have I told my dad I was proud of him. Seems so simple.
Why don’t you tell him, is it pride or something else that keeps you from it? I have a 39 yo son, it would devastate me if he thought that of me, but didn’t tell me!
@@GarrettFemister It's not the he doesn't know how I feel. I just never gave the simple statement of "you did a good job".
I need to find someone like Josh to talk to. The timing of this video couldn’t have been better.
Very grateful that people are talking more about how neglect is just as bad but in a different way. Neglect is also abuse.
I remember when I was watching and reading so much material when I first found out the baby me and my wife tried to have for two years was gonna be a little girl, there was this quote from this particular video. This man sat down with a coworker that was a total player, and asked “what do I need to do to keep my daughter away from men like you?” To which his coworker responded “Tell her you love her, because if you don’t someone like me will.” And it has stuck with me since. I hope not only to teach my daughter to be compassionate, but strong, independent, and to know her own worth.
My father to this day is larger than life, the best example of what a man should be, and I strive everyday to live up to the legacy he has set, we as fathers have the ability to truly make or break the next generation. No matter what difference I may have with someone, if I know they are a good father and husband I’ll keep the utmost respect for them.
If I remember title or find it I’ll share the title of the video, as it is worth the watch.
I can't even succeed at the "easiest" things.
I grew up not knowing my father. After meeting him in my 40s, I'm not sure I wasn't better off. I harbored zero ill will toward him before, but after meeting him, I struggle with the way I feel about him now.
For all of my dad’s faults, he did the best he could. I am the man I am today because of him. I thank God for him and his wisdom.
Helps me realize how messed up I really am
John, I came here here because I know some of your family from my church. Mostly Bryan and just recently, I've met your mom (ask her about the sound guy). I figured I'd give you a listen while I'm in this outpatient program for Chronic/Complex PTSD. I don't really know the difference. I just know trauma sucks but the worst of it comes from my relationship with my dad.
You said something that compelled me to post this (around the 9:30 mark) about taking it easy on your dad because, he at least made it better.
I'm a musician, I've been writing songs for over 20 years (literally started as a kid just for fun). To all those reading, this isn't meant to be my plug for myself, but it also is. Yall the market anyway.
I wrote a song about my father. It's called Don't Want Love. I spent years of my life trying to pour my ❤️ out in a song like that one. It's weird because, the more I digest my own story (I have alot of time to do it with this outpatient program), the more I understand parts of that song that I amazingly did not completely understand when I wrote it.
The song has a profound conclusion and talks about how "he made life a little bit better than what he inherited." My dad was brutal, broken, vicious, and extremely aggressive everywhere he went. But he had his moments and he overcame, what seems to me, a bigger monster (his dad).
You are so right to mention the importance of understanding where "dad" came from. It has been my path to forgiveness and understanding so much confusion. The reality is, I'm SO much like my dad. The craziness of it all is that I'm proud, at least of the good parts. His brains. His creativity. His ambition. His passion.
If any of you read this, please check it out. But for a back story. When I was 11, and I found my xead brother in our pool, I jumped into save him. My father could not handle it and asked me, "why weren't you watching him Corban?"
I remember asking him shortly after if he loved me and him saying, "I'll show you how much I love you." I was whipped. Thankfully, I heard my mother freaking out at him after the fact. Probably the only reason I didn't completely descend into a life of complete malevolence...at least someone loved me.
My oldest sister was a "reprobate" and destined for hell (his words) and I was just like her. She was murdered shortly before I deployed. No time to grieve, Uncle Sam called my name.
I LIVED AND STILL LIVE WITH THE FATHER WOUND. BUT...
I'm here to tell young men, and older men, there is hope. There is meaning. There is growth. The story is too long to get into here, something I hope to unveil in my next album, but I thank you John for fighting the good fight for men. I can't wait to get through this program I'm in now and join you and thousands, perhaps millions, of men around the globe who are discovering the value of unashamed vulnerability.
I like you, served my country overseas. I have (had, who knows what happens with all the diagnosis down the road) a position of authority in the Army and look forward to, God willing, continuing my own journey as a Warrior Poet.
Gotta go, I think we have a class on anger management next! The struggle is real 😂
We had our first child last month and I'm so excited to be a father, to improve on all my dad did for me
I'm going to call my Dad.
One of the better conversations I’ve seen on RUclips in a good while. One of several that have come from this channel. John and his team, yall are truly doing the lords work. I struggle emotionally every day worrying myself over the question of am I doing enough or too much for my son. So many things I want to do or say and don’t, and so many things that I do that I question.
I THINK I am a good father, I am told by family friends and complete strangers that I am… but who really knows?
I personally believe with all honesty that you cannot be a great father if you don’t question yourself at every turn wondering if you’re doing it right. If you aren’t concerned that what you have figured out could be wrong you’re going to fail in some way. We all had life figured out at different stages… and then a few years pass by and things happen then you look back and laugh or cry at how ignorant you were. That is life, and lord help me that is parenting in a nutshell.
Hearing two good men discuss this was emotional because I felt you speaking to me in both positive ways when I felt affirmed in some decisions you were stating you thought were correct… and also shame when some things you said were even slightly true in a negative light on myself. I will take this and self evaluate probably too much to be honest… but to digress to my initial statement I truly believe that is what will drive a man to being a good father whether he ever sees it in himself or not. God willing my son will go through life thinking of me the way your pastor thinks of his father. To me nothing else in this life matters anymore, that one goal is the only thing I am after and my strongest fear is not achieving it.
Possibly your best most impactful interview and talk to date. Thank you sir.
The peace of mind that I sought out and found;
was after I found out how to forgive my father and mother,
because they both came by their behaviors honestly.
The best part from that was; that I learned to forgive myself.
It was easy to find my way back to a relationship with God from there.
"Seek and you shall find"...
...do seek out the positive, is the only caveat I would add because,
the negative is too easy to find and only holds you back from getting past the wounds suffered early on.
The positive isn't always obvious or apparent but is so much more valuable to.
We are so loved.
I went through the "Wild at Heart" with a group of men who were all looking to make a better life for their children
Out of that grew a life group that studied the Bible together and helped each other be intentional in the teaching or children to be Godley men AND women.
Everyone of these adults are on good paths in the world and effecting those around them to be better people.
I am going to have to get this book also. It is always good to re-examine yourself to find the areas that need more attention.
Wildly different subject... Why isn't there a cover plate on the wall-mounted receptacles?!
Pop taught me to finish a job and do it right.
The greatest thing a man can do is look at those he loves and admit where he may have made mistakes. It’s the most respectable trait a man can have.
Also asking about someones day if you only intended to tell them what shit job their doing then that is the open door to a bad situation
Thank you for posting this on RUclips. I watched it on WPSN and was going to write in asking you to make it public. This conversation has too many good things fathers need to hear to keep behind the paywall. I appreciate you brother!
It's so hard to create a home you've never seen, but thankfully I'm not a quitter.
By far the best video you’ve produced. Well done John and WPS team
I never had a dad growing up. Raised by a single mother. My dad left America and went back to Ireland…havnt seen him but a few times my entire life…it was very difficult for me growing up while other kids had a dad to spend time with. His absence has taught me that I never want to do that to my kids. I’d move across the world for them if something ever happened between my wife and I. I love my son and daughter and couldn’t imagine not being in their lives everyday. My soul goal in life is to be the best father and husband I can be. So my dad did teach me something even in his absence. We rarely speak, he doesn’t really seem interested. I’m his oldest…he has 4 boys total. I’ve only ever met two of my half brothers…sad situation…but as a father now, I know what not to do!
This literally explained my whole life and it gave me a way to hopefully fix this. Thank you so much
This interview series has been good, and this one in particular is by far the best. I would even venture to say this is the best video you have ever done!! In reading thru the comments, you have stirred up something. It's important to train good warriors, it is more important to train men and women to be high quality, Godly warriors and leaders.
Amazing sesh. That hit home hard. Thank you Father for an amazing earthly, God centered role model I respectfully call my Dad
ty warrior, you are making the world a better place.....
I love this exchange. Absolute respect for both of these guys.
Thanks for sharing this excellent conversation. I know many men who need to hear and understand it. It's a message a woman can't deliver nearly as effectively.
I never had the chance to meet my father. That feels like a giant empty hole though one's soul. It's an endless blackhole of emptiness, why, what if. I envision a swirling vortex of blackness when it comes to thinking of my father. I have had to learn to become a man on my own, though observations of other men in my life. Thankfully I become very smart in picking my role models. At an early age I decided I didn't need a father to be whole. The wound of my father was a mortal one. What is left behind is something who doesn't feel anything but torment. Yes, I become successful, now I'm watching it fall around me. I made it without him, now what? Money, success hasn't filled the vortex or patched the wound. I thought romance would be a tourniquet, however that turned out to be a fiction told by others. Now I find myself up a creek without a paddle or compass only to rely on my wits to find my way.
As a young dad, this was needed.
10:45 - 100%. I loved my dad but he rolled out on us. So then God became my Father. Learning how to become a better person is how to become a better parent. Even if you didn't have examples as a kid.
Thank you, super cool topic, great tips and very good insight. May God bless you both
Wow...My Men's Group at church discussed this topic two weeks ago.
Oh man... 15 minutes into this video and you are making me cry... Never gets ANY compliment in my 46 years life by my father, i only respects him (and take care of him, 72 years old) because God mandates to.
I need more content on fatherhood in my life.
My dad wasn’t the best father but i forgive him and leave it up to God to judge. I don’t want to be the judge! I cannot read hearts or minds and leave that negativity behind. Healing involves not exposing yourself to negativity but at the same time accepting circumstances that you can’t change!
I needed to hear this today
This was great. I love the question “how do I make her feel loved?”
John tgank you this is an important talk! Please keep the heart of the warrior poet conversations like these and great literature mixed with the awesome warrior material.
Just listened to the podcast…outstanding. Love both you guys. So thankful for your obedience and leadership. Hammer down, Boys…you’re blessing, encouraging and equipping men to carry what’s heavy and finish well to His glory.
Are you one of those brainwashed bible thumpers?
I'm getting married in just under two months, and with the prospect of fatherhood, this really hits home.
What a wonderful segment, you guys! This made me think of how blessed I am to have/had such a wonderful father in my life who has become my best friend. I don't know what I did to deserve him, but I sure am grateful to Him for blessing me beyond all measure 🙏
Great video and spot on! Thanks and God bless y'all!!
While this guy makes some valid points, he speaks as though he's never touched a weight in his life, getting jacked naturally is not easy it takes years of discipline and work. I don't train for vanity I train so I can physically carry my family out of harms way or go that extra mile when it really counts. If you look around the world isn't getting better in fact we are on the brink of all out war, not to mention the civil unrest from the upcoming election. Being in shape could honestly be the difference in life and death it's ignorance to think otherwise.
I think you may have missed the point, or jumped the gun with your comment. Being physically fit is totally different than having pretty muscles. I haven’t hit a gym since high school, but can outwork most people on the construction site. It’s different muscle groups that actually make a difference in real life.
While i agree to an extent i wasn't talking about roided out gym rats. He said 6 pack which denotes proper core strength, bmi, and nutrition. Someone in this condition will be able to physically go farther and and endure more than the average person so long as they have the right mindset. Being stronger makes you more capable is all. People's idea of how capable you need to be varies based on their own perception and experience. @everydayman3497
Love and forgiveness in my opinion is the greatest most honorable thing a man or woman can do
Great epiisode/conversation. Thank you for this. I mostly see my shortcomings as a father but listening makes me realize I did get sometihings right and maybe those things were more important than I realized.
Love watching the two of you!
I definitely see this in my family's history. I'm really grateful for my grandpa(s), and my dad. It wasn't until I became a father that I realized how great my dad was despite his obvious flaws. Now, my biggest concern is dropping the ball in raising my own kids.
Had to pause at 12:43. All of that acknowledgement of dad's positive accomplishments only bolsters the behaviors of narcissists. So, I give credit for keeping me alive and providing, but it was used to reel me in closer so that the abuse could happen again.
I've just started following you, I'm in Pucallpa Perú in the Amazon Jungle God bless you all, I would love to join but I don't have an income and each day is walking by faith and my health situation is bad .
Keep up the great work,bGod bless you always 🙏
Your best show. Will be re-watching.
This was a GREAT video! I am blessed to have a son and 4 daughters. I need to watch this again, share...So many great points. One thing I learned from my Dad, since I have 3 sisters, protect and provide. I love my daughters, have a pretty strong bond with my sisters. As a Dad to daughters, we need to HOPEFULLY give them a model/starting point to finding their husbands. I am a young 52, and identify with a lot of the points made about my Dad. As I have gotten older, looking back now as a Father, I am able to "Celebrate wins". Going to let this simmer in my heart and mind, probably watch again over the weekend🙏God bless🙏
I could listen to this all day
I know many people who have mother wounds, many of whom convince their kids is their father was to blame.
Your children must see you pray and they must hear you say “I am sorry” in a sincere way when you mess up.
Great talk and very good, useful points.
Be blessed guys.
Been a fan of your content since 2018. I’d like to see more content like this expounded upon. Great job keep up the good fight. 🙏🏾
The day I found out my father was only a man, who tried his best to raise me, changed how I looked at him forever.
I dont have a father wound but im turning 21 this sunday and my dad has been dead for almost 13 years and im so lost and my dating life is non existant because i get nauseously overwhelmed when put in a situation where i could start on the road with a girl that could be my wife and turn into a family and so now im just at the point of giving up. not self deletion although thats on my mind frequently, but i will never because my crumbling family has suffered enough loss. so now Im at the point where Im just here to suffer. and i didnt even mention the financial sstruggles.
This guy looks like the discount DJ Shipley 😂😂
On a serious note, I am looking forward to this one.
😂
I needed this right now. Thank you.
Good stuff, gentlemen!!
My dad taught me the value of hard work, love for country, and just being an honest man. But the best thing my dad taught me was who God is, how to know Him, and the blessings that come from putting Him first in all things. We weren’t wealthy, but I never went hungry. I NEVER ONCE heard my Dad raise his voice at my Mom. He was faithful to her for 32 years (Momma passed away earlier this year), and I’ve seen him live what he preached! My Dad isn’t perfect, but I couldn’t ask for a better man to call my Father! - John 3:3 is the reason!
The really important things in life require grit, discipline, intentionally & God's grace. Guys fail to pursue those things b/c it's easier to do hard, but less important things that give a false sense of success.