Beware the "Nice Guy"

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  • Опубликовано: 3 авг 2024
  • John Lovell discloses the MOST dangerous man in the room and it's not who you think.
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Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @AnnGunther-m1t
    @AnnGunther-m1t 24 дня назад +940

    The parallel argument is that gentleness without the capacity for violence/strength is just weakness.

    • @thepope9023
      @thepope9023 24 дня назад

      That would imply all women are just weak and have no genuine gentleness.

    • @daveb3910
      @daveb3910 23 дня назад +20

      Agreed

    • @ianwalker3144
      @ianwalker3144 23 дня назад +88

      I heard it said, "If you can't be violent you're not peaceful, you're harmless. There's a difference."

    • @sealer3553
      @sealer3553 23 дня назад +2

      ​​@@ianwalker3144Unless of course they get you arrested, and or bankrupted etc.

    • @Alex-on8yu
      @Alex-on8yu 23 дня назад +6

      And it's true, if you don't fight and you don't look like someone fit to fight, they will assume that you don't fight because you are a coward.

  • @alexkeihorn7364
    @alexkeihorn7364 24 дня назад +599

    "If you think strong men are dangerous, wait until you see what weak men are capable of."

    • @Zhello79
      @Zhello79 24 дня назад +33

      Agreed.
      If you scratch a weak man that is a coward, he becomes a dangerous tyrant. 🧐🤷🏾‍♂️

    • @wardaddy9910
      @wardaddy9910 24 дня назад

      Weak men don't do shit ... unless they gain power!
      Weak men who gain power are tyrants !

    • @Politicallyhomeless957
      @Politicallyhomeless957 24 дня назад +4

      Top comment ✅

    • @kendallvz
      @kendallvz 23 дня назад +10

      Jordan Peterson!

    • @SilverBackELTorro
      @SilverBackELTorro 23 дня назад +2

      😂😂😂

  • @MunitionsDigitalMedia
    @MunitionsDigitalMedia 18 дней назад +119

    "It is better to be a Warrior in a Garden, than a Gardener in a War" - Miyamoto Musashi

    • @FkUToob1776
      @FkUToob1776 11 дней назад +4

      "Fuck your garden bob, SAKI SAKIIII"
      - The Last Samurai

    • @michaeldenman7278
      @michaeldenman7278 10 дней назад

      @@FkUToob1776lol

  • @Aviad173
    @Aviad173 20 дней назад +20

    I totally agree an try to live my life accordingly:
    "The world will not be destroyed by those who do evil, but by those who watch them without doing anything"- Albert Einstein

  • @RichardOlsonar15
    @RichardOlsonar15 24 дня назад +341

    At work last month, I dressed down a construction foreman who was being a bully" My boss said she didn't understand this and called me a nice guy... I told her no, I'm a good guy and that I addressed an issue that was long over due to be addressed. I told her I'm always polite and courteous, but not at the risk of not speaking the truth.

    • @davidpenrosejr3698
      @davidpenrosejr3698 23 дня назад +23

      I agree, being good and polite, are much different than being nice. The 1st is moral and social. The 2nd is a cover for someone without conviction.

    • @cak45678
      @cak45678 23 дня назад +20

      Your first problem is a woman being your boss. Good luck.

    • @blackout.ghost718
      @blackout.ghost718 22 дня назад +4

      Suuuuure

    • @donmarion8808
      @donmarion8808 22 дня назад +15

      I had 2 buddies who swore they would never get the jab at work. I held out they folded at the last minute, and a short time later, it was all dropped .I lost a lot of respect for them. What else would they cow tow too ??

    • @michelguevara151
      @michelguevara151 22 дня назад +1

      well said, Good Sir.

  • @Odinsjewl
    @Odinsjewl 24 дня назад +480

    I can be polite and not agree, be firm and be decisive. Being brutally candid does not mean being rude

    • @nathandeparis9852
      @nathandeparis9852 24 дня назад +23

      Kind and nice are two different things, and you may find that objectively kindness looks less nice in practice.

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +25

      That doesn't give license to say things in a condescending manner however, which is the default for many "manly men" these days.

    • @stelkurtain_tm
      @stelkurtain_tm 24 дня назад +19

      Being "brutally candid" CAN be rude.

    • @IronSharpensIron127
      @IronSharpensIron127 24 дня назад

      ​@@StinkyGringo what you speak of is not a manly man, it is a fool.

    • @Mo-yh5md
      @Mo-yh5md 24 дня назад +1

      ​@@StinkyGringo well said!

  • @Knightlancer44
    @Knightlancer44 19 дней назад +37

    It's easy to be a nice, compliant guy. It's also easy to be a jerk and never learn how to be persuasive to those you disagree with. To be a man of both persuasion and conviction is a lifelong pursuit.

  • @RickyJr46
    @RickyJr46 22 дня назад +155

    "Tolerance is the virtue of the man without convictions."
    - G.K. Chesterton

    • @graybeardsage
      @graybeardsage 22 дня назад

      "Tolerance is the final virtue of a morally depraved society"

    • @animula6908
      @animula6908 16 дней назад +1

      Man that’s the truth. I believed in tolerance so strongly for a while. And then I figured out it’s just another way, 99% of the time, for someone to say they don’t care without having to admit they don’t care.
      The 1% of the time it’s sincere, I even more so admire it. But I notice that 1% of the tolerant people who genuinely are tolerant, it’s people who also don’t hesitate to admit to themselves and others when they don’t care. And people notice them for the not caring, and never recognize that they are being tolerant when they are. People love hypocrisy except when other people do it.

    • @evlutionzllc5519
      @evlutionzllc5519 10 дней назад +1

      I’m quite intolerant. Sorry for hogging up all of the conviction 😂

    • @Jeffersoniananti-federalist
      @Jeffersoniananti-federalist 2 дня назад

      Yep. Though he had theological issues, Chesterton had excellent insights.

  • @Tom-qp6oh
    @Tom-qp6oh 24 дня назад +169

    Hearing this was like a punch to the gut, and a kick to the balls for me. I don't have all the "Nice Guy" attributes, but enough that I need to make a serious change. Thanks for making this video John.

    • @mikebaker6804
      @mikebaker6804 23 дня назад +11

      Good job noticing. Get on those changes bro.

    • @ultraskunk8926
      @ultraskunk8926 23 дня назад +3

      GITSUM

    • @Land_an_sea
      @Land_an_sea 23 дня назад +8

      You have one great thing going for you. Your humble. That's a character trait that is becoming elusive. Like you I find it hard to have balance. It seems I continue to be too much one way or another. I think I think I could really learn to be a decent man in two lifetimes.

    • @RamathRS
      @RamathRS 22 дня назад +5

      Great job at seeing it, brother! Work hard, and you'll be there sooner than you think!

    • @Birch-and-Maine
      @Birch-and-Maine 22 дня назад +8

      Knowing is half the battle. Be true to your convictions, and don’t kneel to anyone but Christ. If you can recognize a need for change, You got this!

  • @Anamericanhomestead
    @Anamericanhomestead 24 дня назад +463

    So...what your saying is that most politicians are NICE GUYS. 😂👍

    • @tr889
      @tr889 24 дня назад +8

      I knew Zach was a warriorpoet subscriber

    • @evyl0076
      @evyl0076 24 дня назад +5

      absolutley! have tou ever heard congressional debates? they akways refer to each other as 'my friend congressman so- and so' regardless of how much they can't stand each other.

    • @davidhamilton7628
      @davidhamilton7628 24 дня назад +2

      Bing bong Bing bong

    • @kevinbrown9831
      @kevinbrown9831 24 дня назад +2

      I was just thinking Democrats. Occasionally a Republican here and there.😅

    • @kaufmanat1
      @kaufmanat1 24 дня назад +7

      no...theyre far worse. theyre the wolves kn sheeps clothing. they are an entirely different entity. many of them are genuine psychopaths.

  • @user-zx8xv1fi3z
    @user-zx8xv1fi3z 18 дней назад +10

    John you just mentioned one of my favorite lines. Be dangerously good. Basically I am only a threat if you are. Only dangerous to evil

  • @kingsix2000
    @kingsix2000 22 дня назад +25

    "You are not upset with me, but you are blaming me"
    A truly fantastic way to articulate the idea of being offended. ❤

  • @crbondur
    @crbondur 24 дня назад +129

    There is a meme going around that talks about the difference between a gentleman and a harmless man. The meme points out that being incapable of harm does NOT make someone gentle. Instead, we have to acknowledge we are capable of violence yet be willing to restrain that violence to be considered a true "gentleman".

    • @aaronnyman4260
      @aaronnyman4260 23 дня назад +7

      Exactly, a mouse is not gentle, because it is incapable of great violence. A grizzly bear however, can be gentle, because it is capable of violence. That is how a man should be, that's the whole point of being a "gentleman".

    • @crystalbuck6525
      @crystalbuck6525 23 дня назад +10

      Nick Freitas talked about that. A nice guy is a weak man. A GOOD man is gentle by choice, capable of great violence when needed, and wise enough to know when that is.

    • @jeffzima9270
      @jeffzima9270 22 дня назад

      Not always. Maybe a man can't defend and cause violence because he spent a lifetime against violence. Looking at what the New Testament says about violence goes very much against our just war and other narratives. I know that is controversial, but most of us will make the Word say whatever we want to prove our point.

    • @Arthurian.
      @Arthurian. 22 дня назад +2

      ​@@crystalbuck6525that's a good one for a poster

    • @MrX-zz2vk
      @MrX-zz2vk 15 дней назад +2

      ​@crystalbuck6525 And that's one of the best explanations of it. "Capable of great violence when needed..." And sometimes it's needed.
      Reminds me of John's interview with that guy in TX a few years ago, who, when he heard gunfire in a church across the street, grabbed his rifle, headed across that street into the churchyard, encountered that mass shooter leaving and shot him.
      What was doubly tragic about that whole incident was that there were no armed sheepdogs in that congregation to protect the flock.
      All the men, no, strike that, biological males(but not actual men)there were a bunch of nice guys. It took an actual real man to put down the evil evildoer.

  • @jamesbroyles3606
    @jamesbroyles3606 24 дня назад +162

    You're spot on John. I'm a recovering nice guy and recognize many of these traits in myself. You, John Cooper, and Doug Wilson have been helpful in getting me to start becoming a courageous man.

    • @user-zc3eh4di6p
      @user-zc3eh4di6p 24 дня назад +5

      Joko willink navy seal is very inspirational great leadership abilities

    • @MkGreene
      @MkGreene 24 дня назад +22

      You're not the only one. Many of us are recovering nice guys. Raised up being told to repress the "evil" masculine that we were created and born with.

    • @davidhenry7484
      @davidhenry7484 23 дня назад +4

      Yeah, I had this exact realization about myself. As a young man raised with two older, liberal sisters- it took me through my military career about half way, until I realized that sometimes you have to be hard in social situations.

    • @froglord1559
      @froglord1559 22 дня назад

      Are those so called nice guys narcissist guys?

    • @MkGreene
      @MkGreene 22 дня назад +3

      @@froglord1559 I think most of us were just people that over valued politeness at the cost of other virtues.

  • @YouTubesucks4real
    @YouTubesucks4real 23 дня назад +44

    I had ALOT of nice guys that fit this description perfectly at the church I recently left. Nothing gets accomplished, and corrections are never made. They will wait for the problem to either go away or for people to stop complaining about it. When you eventually make the correction, they will be upset with you. It eventually allows sin into the church.

    • @Godisinkontrol
      @Godisinkontrol 22 дня назад +8

      Yeah no thanks, good thing you left. We Christians must be bold, and not pushovers ready run away from any resistance.

    • @boyscout6566
      @boyscout6566 20 дней назад +1

      like leaders like congregation

    • @katierucker2870
      @katierucker2870 13 дней назад +2

      So true!!! We need God fearing men who are meek yet at the same time won’t put up with sin and evil. This is a pastor/leader’s job.

  • @tnpreparer8903
    @tnpreparer8903 23 дня назад +25

    You hit the bullseye with that first one. Immediately made me think of John 12:43 - For they loved the praise of men more than the praise of God.

  • @catwrench3
    @catwrench3 24 дня назад +319

    "You should be an absolute monster, and then learn how to have it under complete self control"
    ~Jordan Peterson

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +3

      Most people don't though. They are almost all either weak or condescending as hell. Balance is very difficult and most fail at it.

    • @jerkforsure8387
      @jerkforsure8387 24 дня назад

      Life requires work. I sometimes struggle with my anger. Are you completely balanced?

    • @GreatWhite7
      @GreatWhite7 24 дня назад +7

      jp is a clown

    • @gurgamous
      @gurgamous 24 дня назад +8

      @@GreatWhite7 even if that was the case in general, the principle conveyed here is still valid. A formidable force for good is only going to come from someone who also possesses a formidable potential for evil. Weak individuals arent capable of much either way.

    • @NewVegasBadger
      @NewVegasBadger 24 дня назад +2

      Truth.

  • @harleypearson706
    @harleypearson706 23 дня назад +31

    Holy crap!!! I work with a guy EXACTLY like this. You hit every nail on the head! This guy's left his religion, got left by his wife, his teenage daughters don't listen to him and actively avoid him at times, he believes in a socialist paradise, he runs from conflict, he's turned on people, he's a yes-man, etc. I'm in my car right now, laughing so hard that I can barely breathe! I'm already picking co-workers to send this to!

  • @theCLDavis
    @theCLDavis 6 дней назад +3

    1st husband, not proud of this but spot on. When I left him everyone said “he’s such a nice guy” so often that today it still sets my teeth on edge. Every statement you made is so true, even 25 years later, it helped hearing this

  • @briansmith4726
    @briansmith4726 18 дней назад +8

    I listened to this video on my way to work. Immediately, after work I went home and had my daughter listen to it. Thank you for that.

  • @doctorsdw
    @doctorsdw 24 дня назад +132

    Truth. This is a problem with many "Evangelicals," who bow their knee to political correctness.

    • @farmerwayne1404
      @farmerwayne1404 23 дня назад +8

      Yes, that's a shame! I believe it's an evil spiritual mess that is taking over. We as believers need to really know The Word of God, follow as best we can and pray to stay on His path.
      Where God in the Bible says to do something, do it. Where He says not to do something, don't do it! He and His Word is the same " yesterday, today, and forever" !!!

    • @TennGrizz
      @TennGrizz 23 дня назад +4

      Truth

    • @ParaSniper2504
      @ParaSniper2504 23 дня назад +2

      The one commandment that CANNOT be broken is the 11th: Thou shalt be NICE!

    • @harrysmith8338
      @harrysmith8338 23 дня назад +1

      No surprise there. They are Oxymoronic, at their "root".

    • @larryvansertima7095
      @larryvansertima7095 19 дней назад

      They try to make Jesus a big sandal wearing hippie and effeminate. It comes from the hippie movement and is idolatry.

  • @SecurityofaFreeState
    @SecurityofaFreeState 23 дня назад +18

    100% accurate… and the women whom go for the “nice guy” are narcissistic, they can manipulate the “nice guy” as they both use each other to pursue their own excessive self-interest.

  • @bhazleton
    @bhazleton 23 дня назад +5

    My late husband wanted our kids to like him so he left the discipline up to me. The kids loved him but I was being sabotaged. He was also a coward in many other ways. Even though he suffered with cancer for over 5 years, he would not talk about death due to fear. I was left with little information and guidance but I was relieved when he finally died.

  • @Vocarin
    @Vocarin 23 дня назад +9

    The origin of "nice" is "nescio." It's Latin for "I don't know." The idea is that a "nice" guy will flip flop on every issue they're confronted with, have no firm opinion of their own, and will therefore ride the fence in every circumstance to the point where they can't stand up for anything, even the things that matter. Speaks pretty well to what John's saying.

    • @GarrettFemister
      @GarrettFemister 6 дней назад +1

      Revelation 3: 16
      So, because you are lukewarm-neither hot nor cold-I am about to spit you out of my mouth.

  • @anthonycat7303
    @anthonycat7303 24 дня назад +191

    Don't mistake my kindness for weakness. That's my method of my mayhem retired US Navy veteran. Great show, never miss them

    • @minuteman2547
      @minuteman2547 24 дня назад +12

      This may be the first time a retired Marine gives a Sailor an atta-boy. Please make my day even better and tell me you are enlisted rank.

    • @mkdy218
      @mkdy218 24 дня назад +9

      Copy that. Kindness is strength! Showing kindness can often be born out of ones own experience of hardship etc.

    • @craighaller4002
      @craighaller4002 24 дня назад +14

      Amen. I will often appear to be a nice guy and conformist. Think of it like a grey man tactic. Be invisible, look non threatening. The whole time you are measuring people and the environment. Someone once told me in a crowd, look past the extroverts, tattoos and loudmouths. Beware the guy in the quiet, smiling guy in the corner, who looks weak and easy. Very often he's the most dangerous one in the room.

    • @minuteman2547
      @minuteman2547 24 дня назад

      @@craighaller4002 In my experience they often also have tits, and split tails.

    • @billtheboatman
      @billtheboatman 22 дня назад +2

      @@craighaller4002 I attempt to be the grey man, but I'm 6'2"/225. I've even gone so far as driving a boring old-man car with no distinguishing markings.

  • @AnnGunther-m1t
    @AnnGunther-m1t 24 дня назад +222

    I see “nice” as being what “kind” looks like. Kindness comes from love. Nice is just the shell.

    • @danr543
      @danr543 24 дня назад +3

      That's good!

    • @laladoodieincarnate
      @laladoodieincarnate 24 дня назад +4

      sort of like when people are being fake where they smile at you and act all friendly and talk to you with their teeth clenched at the same time & whenever they look away from you theyre scowling then when they look back at you they smile again? Edit: cartoon example: Hazbin Hotel episode 4 when Valentino would look angrily at Angel but is smiling being nice, friendly, & polite to Charlie talking through his teeth. ruclips.net/video/5H2OzIQEez0/видео.htmlsi=PZpnr9ZfodLdOKWR

    • @kaufmanat1
      @kaufmanat1 24 дня назад +6

      i view kindness as an action... i view niceness as simply a sentiment...

    • @AnnGunther-m1t
      @AnnGunther-m1t 23 дня назад

      Precisely!

    • @nerychristian
      @nerychristian 23 дня назад +1

      I think the word "nice" has been so overused, that it has become meaningless. There is nothing wrong with being agreeable, amicable, polite, respectful, humble, kind, peaceful, thoughtful, etc. Not everyone has to be a leader. There is nothing wrong with serving others. Christ taught us that the greatest among us is the one who will be a servant.

  • @PEEPNME
    @PEEPNME 22 дня назад +7

    A favorite patch I keep on my kit..." Dont mistake my kindness for weakness".

  • @Michael-vc2cs
    @Michael-vc2cs 23 дня назад +4

    I feel like I’m listening to a sermon here! I’ve had to stand up for truth, seemingly alone, for years. I believe in being kind but not withholding the truth from others, even if it hurts them. This road has been difficult. I’ve chased women away, friends away, and probably had tons of other people trash talk me behind my back.
    I still find myself asking, “Am I in any part this guy John is talking about?!” I grew up in the south so I believe in being kind. People have said “You’re too nice.” I also have NO problem with being a dangerous man. I learned some martial arts when I was younger and learned how to handle myself better in a fight. But I’ve never gone looking for one.
    Another problem I see too often in the south is fake niceness too.
    Nevertheless, we men all need to look in the mirror and root out that weakness, including myself if I’m getting complacent!
    Great video! I think people are confused about what niceness vs. true kindness is. I’ve been called all sorts of names, nice being one of them. The real question is, is there an agenda tied to being nice? If you’re being nice to someone in that moment because you believe it’s the right thing to do, you’re being kind.

  • @Sojourner_Tyson
    @Sojourner_Tyson 24 дня назад +28

    I’m not triggered by this, so much as I am convicted by it.
    Definitely at least a couple of things here that I identify with.
    This is a good one. God bless bro.

  • @brianwherry8838
    @brianwherry8838 24 дня назад +14

    We in the UK have just elected a nice guy. He has changed his position on nearly everything when faced with any push back.

  • @HoneyPot710
    @HoneyPot710 23 дня назад +14

    My mother raised me to be a kind person. Being “nice” tends to be for shallow gain. Not everyone deserves kindness and that’s what every man needs to learn.

  • @HickSquatch
    @HickSquatch 22 дня назад +6

    My friend started a men’s group called Rise Undaunted which specifically addresses Nice Guy Syndrome and helps guys become true masculine Men. Excellent and important message.

    • @GarrettFemister
      @GarrettFemister 6 дней назад

      That’s sounds like a worthwhile group to join. Is it part of an actual study plan? I’d love to lead something like this!

    • @GarrettFemister
      @GarrettFemister 6 дней назад +1

      I went to the website. It seems to be essentially MLM, and potentially under the LDS umbrella… tell me if I’m wrong.

    • @HickSquatch
      @HickSquatch 6 дней назад

      @@GarrettFemister it’s not an mlm but there is an incentive for recruiting if you want to. I don’t. You don’t have to pay to participate. I don’t either.
      The founder is LDS, but the group is not affiliated with any church.

  • @craighaller4002
    @craighaller4002 24 дня назад +35

    This is somewhat true. Sometimes one can often appear to be a nice guy and conformist. Be invisible, look non threatening. The whole time measuring people and the environment. Someone once told me in a crowd, look past the extroverts, tattoos and loudmouths. Beware the quiet guy, smiling guy in the corner, who looks weak and easy. Very often he's the most dangerous one in the room if he's cornered and got nothing to lose.

    • @RodCornholio
      @RodCornholio 23 дня назад +4

      The most dangerous person in the room is the one with the ability and _motivation_ . That skinny young man with glasses who got bullied when he was a kid, that old man with a cane and a wife, the person in a wheelchair.... yeah, they are potentially well armed, able, and motivated.

    • @ultraskunk8926
      @ultraskunk8926 23 дня назад +4

      That's totally NOT the guy John is talking about here. You missed the point, brother.

    • @agogecoach8790
      @agogecoach8790 22 дня назад +1

      It's not an extrovert/introvert thing. John has made a few video's about 'the most dangerous guy in the room' that your post could actually be an intro for.

  • @nathankleber9150
    @nathankleber9150 24 дня назад +34

    It's incredible how scared people are of taking responsibility for their own actions. So many in my life I've stood up and said I was wrong, I messed up, and it's been met with nothing but appreciation for being honest. There might be disappointment with the mistake and the consequences, but being trustworthy and accountable is far more appreciated.

    • @froglord1559
      @froglord1559 22 дня назад

      Are those so called nice guys narcissist guys?

    • @nonyabiz2777
      @nonyabiz2777 22 дня назад +1

      @@nathankleber9150 I agree it’s uncommon to see folks willing to admit their mistakes. We normal folks don’t like to be wrong but will admit our mistakes so we can fix our mistakes. When we are willing to move on and fix our problems we can live good lives. The alternative is to be one of the millions of folks living life with anger and frustration. You spend to much time unhappy in the alternative life choices. Bravo sir perfect observation.

  • @theoneandonlybridge4210
    @theoneandonlybridge4210 22 дня назад +4

    Correct. I used to be like this and had to force my self to change. Now I see my brother going down this path and the people he associates with use him because of it, so he is basically a doormat for everyone. We are trying to get him out of it

  • @garyboy50
    @garyboy50 22 дня назад +5

    In my experience, a nice guy is actually prone to saying sorry because he will commit emotional hijacking as a way of disguising his cowardice. "I'm sorry, I was wrong on this small issue, and because I'm so humble and willing to admit my flaws, it would be cruel to correct me on bigger issues".
    Nice guys gas light because no one can truly avoid conflict in life, so they choose that path instead of direct conflict.

  • @andrewdelaix
    @andrewdelaix 24 дня назад +80

    Be nice. Be nice until it is time to not be nice.

    • @leadboy83
      @leadboy83 24 дня назад +7

      Nice Roadhouse quote!

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад

      Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.
      Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?
      Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.
      Steve: What if somebody calls my mama a whore?
      Dalton: Is she?

    • @Vincent_Boogaloo
      @Vincent_Boogaloo 24 дня назад +3

      Never be nice, be respectful unless someone gives you a reason not to be.

    • @mikeshuman7393
      @mikeshuman7393 23 дня назад +4

      ​@@Vincent_BoogalooI like being humble. It's the quiet man that people should look out for.

    • @adamethridge7824
      @adamethridge7824 23 дня назад +2

      Hehe Swaze gets a pass

  • @romanstravels6390
    @romanstravels6390 24 дня назад +36

    Quite literally describing “The Try Guys” and Rhett and Link lol

    • @rickswordfire4774
      @rickswordfire4774 23 дня назад +10

      Ever seen that video where The Try Guys get their testosterone levels checked?

    • @Godisinkontrol
      @Godisinkontrol 22 дня назад +5

      Those beta's make me sick

    • @BigZ971
      @BigZ971 22 дня назад +1

      Damn, what wrong did rhett and link do

  • @andrewanderson4372
    @andrewanderson4372 19 дней назад +2

    Former nice guy here. John youbare hitting the nail on the head. I can tell you from experience that you can change for the better. It is difficult, but it means a lot of self-reflection is needed and drop your friggin ego. Nice guys are toxic. I used to be very toxic and didn't even know it. I still have some issues I am working on, but things are getting better. Do better, and your life will get better

  • @danasmith9942
    @danasmith9942 23 дня назад +1

    I love the call to action and encouragement to do something about it at the end - better yourself, better the community, better the next generation. Keep Fighting the Good Fight

  • @Benaiah2279
    @Benaiah2279 24 дня назад +66

    Another way to say this is “weak passivity”

  • @brianames7832
    @brianames7832 24 дня назад +59

    My son has me listening to your books and listening to your podcast now

    • @code_red7744
      @code_red7744 24 дня назад +9

      Sounds like you raised a good kid… congrats

    • @wills9392
      @wills9392 24 дня назад +5

      Smart boy

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +13

      Your son may make a man out of you yet! 😂

    • @brianames7832
      @brianames7832 24 дня назад

      @@code_red7744 he is an ex-Marine and I’m so proud of him

    • @blakehartsfield8423
      @blakehartsfield8423 24 дня назад

      @@StinkyGringo Is that all you do is go from comment to comment gas lighting? Only thing worse than a nice guy, is a douche who likes to leave keyboard warrior messages all over peoples comments of a video, knowing good and well they wouldnt say it to their face. Run along and comment on the next one. I think id rather be a nice guy than a keyboard warrior.

  • @logiciskindness
    @logiciskindness 23 дня назад

    Jon, I was just hanging out with my friend who also enjoys your sermons. You were spot on. Thanks for sharing this. We really do appreciate it.

  • @tsransdell4900
    @tsransdell4900 22 дня назад

    Brilliant distinction of the “Nice Guy” and a kind man! Spot on!

  • @andrewbarker8631
    @andrewbarker8631 24 дня назад +10

    Grandad said be strong enough to be gentle. You can't just cultivate strength or exercise tenderness alone. You lose sight of things like your boundaries and might not tell someone the hard truth because it will hurt a lot.

  • @marktisdale7935
    @marktisdale7935 24 дня назад +10

    Thanks, John. We need more men with a microphone saying this.

  • @JRabbit28
    @JRabbit28 23 дня назад +8

    I'm not a "nice guy" anymore, I've learned to be "nice" with the ability to still be capable of leading my crew with a stern authority. I was thrown into a lead position at my company and was forced to be "the man"! And learning from you and Mark Driscoll how to "Act Like A Man". Thank you from the bottom of my heart for teaching me and many men how to be a Warrior Poet!
    You have single completely changed my life. God Bless you Sir! ❤️💪🙏

  • @lexlane9353
    @lexlane9353 24 дня назад +9

    This hurt. I am too soft. I have some work to do. Thank you John.

  • @josephfoster6313
    @josephfoster6313 24 дня назад +72

    Never confuse kindness for weakness.

    • @skootr924
      @skootr924 22 дня назад +2

      So true, there is only a line crossed. That is where the Lion comes out, and all bets are off. I bite my tongue only when applicable, otherwise I have no filter 😊

    • @PeterRSCFF
      @PeterRSCFF 22 дня назад +1

      The saying is “never confuse MY kindness for weakness””. If someone just went around judging kindness as weakness they would be right a lot of the time.

    • @boyscout6566
      @boyscout6566 20 дней назад +1

      The reverse is also true: never confuse weakness for kindness.

    • @PeterRSCFF
      @PeterRSCFF 20 дней назад

      @@boyscout6566 That’s an interesting perspective. Seems like it could be useful in a totally different way

    • @christianbgood2910
      @christianbgood2910 19 дней назад

      Quoting Al Capone...

  • @JMGrimm
    @JMGrimm 19 дней назад

    Great video, man. Great talk. Thanks for putting this out! Courage is king.

  • @tripleceas
    @tripleceas 19 дней назад

    One of my favorite episodes you’ve done Mr Lovell. I’ll rewatch, take notes and talk to my sons.

  • @michaelpritchard7547
    @michaelpritchard7547 23 дня назад +14

    I think you clarified my internal frustration with organized religion, with your remark on “your church is dead if it’s filled with nice guys”. I have felt like I was in the wrong crowd many times based on the way people behaved to the needs of the community vs the role of the church. This isn’t to say that representation is true of all organized religion, but unfortunately, represents many of the churches people attend. God is not for us to follow as sheep and cowards. The right thing to do, may in fact, be something your church won’t support. In those times it’s better to follow god than the church.

    • @connormcalister5765
      @connormcalister5765 23 дня назад +1

      I would encourage you to still find a church full of good men to go through life with, rather than rejecting the church. No man is an island. I’m in a church with the opposite of nice guys, and that collective is doing things that are making massive impacts in our city.

    • @mnt809
      @mnt809 23 дня назад

      I know what you are talking about. I struggle with it too. I'm a Mormon, and I think the nice guy syndrome is plaguing our church. People generally consider Mormons conservative/traditional, but I believe all the nice guys are creating confusion about our message and what we stand for. A lot of people don't really know what Mormons stand for anymore. That used to not be the case. Even though people hated us for our beliefs, at least we made them clear and stood by them. The criticism made us better Mormons. Those days are a memory. But, instead of giving up, I'm one of the holdouts that believes in the Warrior Poet way. I don't play nice guy. Sometimes people gasp at what I say. But, they like my sincerity. I don't think I make a big difference, but I do think I make a small difference with the small circle of influence I have. If nothing else, I hope to pass it along to my sons, and that my daughters will value the Warrior Poet way in men. Half of my kids are teenagers and it seems like they are learning the ways of their old man, and rejecting the nice guy syndrome. I basically associate myself more with my Warrior Poet mentality than I do with my particular "brand of church" at this point. I agree with your statement that it's better to obey God instead of the church. I have done that many times over the past few years, and so far, God has always backed me up. I encourage you to do it where you can.

    • @michaelpritchard7547
      @michaelpritchard7547 23 дня назад

      @@mnt809
      My favorite complement I have received in the past five years is being told I am authentic. In that one word, I felt proud and emboldened to continue presenting myself as a man, unafraid. I appreciate your comment and your authenticity to stand for the right things over the crowd. Regardless of what name your faith carries, people need others to represent the strength and compassion of a higher purpose. Stand tall and lend an insightful ear to all that need guidance. Good men, like yourself, will save us from tyrants lurking in our communities.

    • @michaelpritchard7547
      @michaelpritchard7547 23 дня назад

      @@connormcalister5765
      You are not wrong. It be of the most common things I hear these days is that men have no friends. Good organizations are a great way to combat that theory. They also provide a place for important messages to be heard.
      I was told recently, that I am an authentic soul. It’s my favorite complement I have received because it not only empowered me to stand tall in my convictions, but it also gave room for me to be received by the community around me on a true level. I am happy you have found a fellowship that aligns with your authenticity. Stand tall in your community and lend solid guidance to “right and wrong” wherever you see fit.
      As for me , I will continue without a church until I am drawn in by authentic people. People that understand that compassion is the second biggest strength/burden we must carry in order to secure the role of leaders in our community. I hope you continue to be authentic to yourself and provide that strong outward guidance to your fellowship and community at large. Our world needs it in every way.

  • @victorymeadow4073
    @victorymeadow4073 23 дня назад +11

    As wife and mother of 4 boys, this is refreshing!

  • @Mtbambeno
    @Mtbambeno 17 дней назад +1

    We all should listen to things that are hard to listen to. If all we ever hear is the things we want to hear, we never feel like we have to grow as a person. Thank you for the Hard Listen.

  • @FloridaCivilian
    @FloridaCivilian 22 дня назад

    This type of reality is why i keep tunning in to your videos. Truth is a hard pill to swallow for some folks.

  • @KeithBarrowsToday
    @KeithBarrowsToday 24 дня назад +29

    Excellent take. I grew up as a nice guy. Just over 40 years ago, at the young age of 23, I went to Marine Corps boot camp. Life has never been the same since. Nice guys are weak men.
    Weak men create hard times.
    Hard times create strong men.
    Strong men create good times.
    Good times create weak men.
    Guess where in the cycle we are!

    • @FreeBirdVince
      @FreeBirdVince 21 день назад +3

      I'm 23 years old now. Enlisted in the Army and intend to become a Ranger. Respect to you sir.

    • @Hey_you_______x
      @Hey_you_______x 14 дней назад +1

      ​@FreeBirdVince never give up on yourself, on your team, and you'll do well.
      Quite the adventure you're embarking on, your service will be appreciated, thank you for taking the oath.
      Hey, don't drink too much off duty, a LOT of problems stem from just that one seemingly little act. I mean yeah drink, get wasted sometimes, just don't make it your go-to.
      Stay true to yourself, once you find him in the hardest days.
      Keep your head down in boot camp, do what you're told, do it fast but do it as well as you can.

    • @FreeBirdVince
      @FreeBirdVince 14 дней назад

      @@Hey_you_______x thank you. I will keep this all in mind. 🙏

  • @adamnanney4952
    @adamnanney4952 23 дня назад +8

    I'm ashamed to say this, but at nearly 30 years old, I've had to learn the hard way, and there is a difference between niceness and kindness. Kindness still contains humility, compassion, love, understanding, patience, and tenderness, but niceness is essentially naivety. If one is nice, they are willing to be naive in order to evade confrontation, but when you are kind, when dealing with confrontation, you take the high road, you keep a cool head, as long as it doesn't get physical, then yeah, take up self defense, but you discuss, not argue. Arguing determines who is right, that is, ego, but discussing determines WHAT is right, that is true knowledge and wisdom. That's what the kind guy does. Also, I've had to learn this, and I have a quote for this as well, just because the word ass is in assertive, that doesn't mean you have to be one, so in short, the kind guy is assertive but at the same time humble and patient about it, he's not a jerk. Also, pardon my language with my quote, but I am just being honest.

  • @Ninjaman-do5uk
    @Ninjaman-do5uk 19 дней назад +2

    Incredible video. I agree with everything you said.
    I spent my first 25 years being a nice guy 100%, being a LEO showed me to stop in my professional life but I still did it in my personal life especially with dating. At 29 something changed and I fully committed to being a strong man. Changed my life and it is my mission to show others. Hard to do though.

  • @chrisaustin6255
    @chrisaustin6255 22 дня назад

    Love the channel and I appreciate the type of man you are

  • @formeolosuslasvenators1777
    @formeolosuslasvenators1777 24 дня назад +9

    This is what every man needs to hear.
    I have been wondering why I feel bad about failure to act, because I mis understood what being a “good man” actually is.
    To sum up this video I would say this is what the phrase “nice guys finish last,” means. Thank you and God bless. Your children are lucky to have you as a father who puts The Father before himself.

  • @glencrouch442
    @glencrouch442 24 дня назад +16

    The term "nice guy" may throw some folks off track, Ann Gunther said it well, "I see "nice" as being what "kind" looks like, Kindness comes from love" I would say "kindness" comes from strength as well. And she is correct, "nice is just a shell". You are spot on with this, can't argue a single point you've made.

  • @jongerdes6585
    @jongerdes6585 11 дней назад

    I appreciate being called out on some of this. It will help me be a better person overall.

  • @Basschaplain
    @Basschaplain 23 дня назад

    Thanks for the clarification. I saw an Instagram reel and knew I had to get some context whew!! Thanks John!

  • @ryangierman4421
    @ryangierman4421 24 дня назад +43

    Finally! I am so glad to hear someone other than myself admit that the “nice guy” is a self-centered coward. Thank you for your voice

    • @TW-rr6qb
      @TW-rr6qb 24 дня назад +2

      That isnt something my mind usually goes to. But it really makes sense. I agree with this statement!

    • @alansloan7784
      @alansloan7784 24 дня назад +7

      Example of a 'nice guy' in politics: a RINO.

  • @Dgwodo
    @Dgwodo 24 дня назад +11

    Yep! A warrior poet is not a nice guy! You are right on!

  • @bgarcia9831
    @bgarcia9831 23 дня назад

    well spoken, dealing with crap at work and this sums it up.

  • @thestoicjourney3355
    @thestoicjourney3355 22 дня назад

    This was a great video some of this really hit home for me, for what i need and will work on thank you.

  • @petrag.4092
    @petrag.4092 24 дня назад +19

    I am not a guy, but watch and support the cause. Yep, kindness is a Fruit of the Spirit, niceness is not. Is the word nice even in the bible?

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +3

      This is in the Bible:
      Romans 2:1: “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” (NIV)

    • @stevecochran9078
      @stevecochran9078 24 дня назад

      ​@@StinkyGringo Sounds like St. Paul was speaking to a bunch of scum-sucking democraps.

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +2

      Sin is sin. You sin every day.

    • @20tigerpaw20
      @20tigerpaw20 23 дня назад +1

      @@StinkyGringo get me that verse in the KJV or ESV and then we'll talk.
      using the N.on I.nspired V.ersion is just peek coward behavior.

  • @forgingluck
    @forgingluck 24 дня назад +6

    I'm trying to be a better and stronger person every day. Watching your channel is part of that journey. Thank you.

  • @taip9040
    @taip9040 22 дня назад

    Your comments helped to set my soul aflame once again. Thank you.

  • @azdan6907
    @azdan6907 19 дней назад

    Thank you for being honest and straightforward on this subject more people need to hear this, God bless America!

  • @davidpryor7366
    @davidpryor7366 24 дня назад +58

    On a serious note, My mother, the greatest person to ever walk this earth, raised me to be a pacifist. She would get very angry with me if I got in a fight as a kid. She said any problem can be worked out with communication. For the most part, she is correct. I have never been in a fight that was worth the fight not that I have been in that many. That being said, she was very proud of me when I enlisted in the Army. While she did not like me fighting, she liked me defending. She is who taught me the difference.

    • @Th3_Illuminati
      @Th3_Illuminati 24 дня назад +3

      Well said.

    • @waynemensen4252
      @waynemensen4252 24 дня назад +16

      You don't always have to fight to stand your ground. But, you should stand your ground. Which sometimes leads to defending what you stand for!

    • @christophermitchell7925
      @christophermitchell7925 24 дня назад +6

      There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being in a fight if you’re defending yourself and your beliefs. Or just be a punching bag, your choice.

    • @Remy4489
      @Remy4489 24 дня назад +4

      I see what you are saying, and thank you for your service, BTW (*I am also a US Army veteran) ;but if she was okay with you "defending" (*physically, that is, which occasionally requires violence to do so) then she is not a complete pacifist; complete pacifists believe (*or claim to believe) that literally every single form of violence towards/against another human being, in all situations, is unjustified.

    • @bluemntceltic2
      @bluemntceltic2 23 дня назад +3

      I was raised in a similar fashion. Only my parent's admonition was that I was never to start a fight, but I'd better be ready to end it. So I never got into fights, walked away from several of them. Got labeled a coward, particularly since I wasn't allowed to play football either, took a long time to prove otherwise, elementary and Jr. Hi were not fun times.

  • @Taylordtech
    @Taylordtech 24 дня назад +12

    Goodness John this is a whole sermon.
    The last point about nice guys is something that hits home for me. I see this in my church so much. The people there try to walk a tightrope of being acceptable socially without outright compromising biblical principle, but push come to shove they just collapse.
    We need so many strong me. Men who dont bend and compromise but who hold fast under pressure. Sadly they seem rare. Im really tempted to send this to my pastor as a challenge.

    • @paul65comet31
      @paul65comet31 День назад

      We certainly do need to use these traits as a guide when selecting which pastor we choose to follow. If our current pastor doesn't have the traits of a true leader, then we need to find ways to grow his character. Sadly many will refuse to grow due to their own insecurities, in which case, we need to move on.

  • @sanecanadian2351
    @sanecanadian2351 20 дней назад

    Great video John. I passed it on to my community for the young men to see. I basically say the same thing to my sons and my friends. You have articulated this very well.

  • @rustygabriel9965
    @rustygabriel9965 22 дня назад

    Thanks Brother. I needed the challenge on a couple.

  • @CmRoddy
    @CmRoddy 24 дня назад +4

    I am blessed to be part of a church filled with the exact opposite of “Nice Guy” as you define here, and you will find some of the most kind and gentle husbands, fathers, and protectors you will ever meet.

  • @brendawerner5425
    @brendawerner5425 23 дня назад +6

    I moved from Denver to central TX. Damn what a change. I'm a woman but learning to be Nicer

  • @ismaelhall3990
    @ismaelhall3990 5 дней назад

    Thanks we all need to hear this.

  • @g1mpster
    @g1mpster 23 дня назад

    I had this same conversation yesterday: I have many family members who prioritize the biblical notion of being peacekeepers above standing firm on moral principles and clearly telling others what is right/wrong.

  • @williambutler2177
    @williambutler2177 24 дня назад +5

    Some solid useful and generally correct insights John! I had to go back and re-listed while taking some notes when a thought occurred to me halfway through point #3.
    1) Say Hard Things
    2) Lead/Take Risks
    3) Take Responsibility
    4) Protect
    5) Keep the Faith
    These are equally the failings of toxic women.
    Solid points all the way through, and I think you're right we all at least occasionally fail to do these things at some level and it's a good list to consider when planning out our paths to self improvement. Work Hard, Pray Hard, Play Hard.

  • @CrumpledPaperHearts
    @CrumpledPaperHearts 24 дня назад +4

    Being kind is not the same as being nice. Kindness is to niceness as meekness is to weakness.

  • @sethmims
    @sethmims 22 дня назад

    Great video John. This nice guy tendency is so common today, and it needs to be conquered!

  • @danaleerussell687
    @danaleerussell687 22 дня назад

    Excellent commentary. For the vast majority of us there is at least one of these points we need to work on and correct in our lives.

  • @Loyal2law
    @Loyal2law 24 дня назад +12

    @2:59 Yes. It means that Nice Guys are people pleaser. They tell things that would garner positive attention towards him, and is careful in saying the right things so as not to offend. There's no assertion in language and speech

    • @StinkyGringo
      @StinkyGringo 24 дня назад +1

      Most people pleasers had abusive parents. Like narcissistic abuse etc. Thank God we're all here talking about how pathetic people with mental illness are. It's like a dog that has been abused. It doesn't tuck it's tail just because it's choosing to be weak, it does so from horrible experiences you never went through and don't fully understand.

  • @Aaron-ge1hy
    @Aaron-ge1hy 23 дня назад +3

    I really needed this topic of discussion today. Thank you, John, and the Warrior Poet team.

  • @midnightsailor1
    @midnightsailor1 22 дня назад

    Great job on this. It made me look at myself and recognize some things that need change, because I think you are so spot on. Never thought about things this way.

  • @bearded_gamer_88
    @bearded_gamer_88 23 дня назад

    John, you hit the nail on the head with each point you made.

  • @Buckdog37
    @Buckdog37 24 дня назад +3

    I’ve been guilty of not watching this channel that much here lately, but I’m really glad there’s someone that’s not afraid of bringing out the word of God. Thanks John. Great video. Excellent.

    • @WE-R-EVERYWHERE
      @WE-R-EVERYWHERE 24 дня назад

      Maybe educate yourself on history ( read books written in the time, not written recently about the historical time) instead of reverting to the Bible for “truth”.

  • @MrAlaska66
    @MrAlaska66 24 дня назад +11

    I'm generally a nice guy, but not that kind of "nice guy", but I know exactly the type you speak of.
    I place being nice well down the list of importance, and that niceness can evaporate extremely quickly when someone mistakes it for weakness, and tries to take advantage of it.
    I care very little what most people think of me, and as a result I'm able to admit my flaws and mistakes, and I'm also capable of being extremely blunt when needed.
    I've no time to entertain bullshit from anyone.
    On second thought maybe I'm not nice, so much as genuine and potentially friendly.

    • @darinsb6896
      @darinsb6896 18 дней назад

      In my experience most of the "nice" folks don't like when people are actually genuine and masculine.

  • @captainwallard2788
    @captainwallard2788 22 дня назад +1

    I've been subbed to this channel for a pretty long time, and I don't rreally watch your videos much to be honest. Not to be rude, I have lost track of all my subs over the years.. Something made me watch this one and I remember why I subbed in the first place.. You effing nailed it and I would trust you based on your convictions over people I've known decades, even my whole life. Be safe out there brother.

  • @TheValiantForgePodcast
    @TheValiantForgePodcast 21 день назад

    I’ve always struggled with the nice guy syndrome. I’m coming out of it now but it’s taken some work. Good word! Keep spreading the word us men need to hear! 💪

  • @bobbyberry5559
    @bobbyberry5559 24 дня назад +13

    Always, always, give a second glance to Mr Happy Glad Hands.

  • @tpep1693
    @tpep1693 24 дня назад +3

    Well, I am glad to find out that I'm NOT as nice as I thought I was! Thank you John.

  • @jamespostlewate2776
    @jamespostlewate2776 22 дня назад +1

    Agreed....
    Thank you for stating something long overdue...
    Subscribed and reposted.
    Great analogy...

  • @samuelhunter9410
    @samuelhunter9410 20 дней назад

    Couldn't agree more. I've been telling this to anyone who would listen for years!

  • @DecayingReality
    @DecayingReality 19 дней назад

    It is generally true. The way you explain a nice guy is good. On point.

  • @IRLand713
    @IRLand713 24 дня назад +17

    There is a good distinction here between being a "nice guy" and being polite, being kind or being meek and humble. Those are not always the same and I think that distinction is important.

    • @ryanwing5785
      @ryanwing5785 23 дня назад

      I tend to just give people the benefit of the doubt because we as people have our problems too, so I try not to give people a hurt time. Not sure why this behavior of mine falls into this category because it's just me minding my own business, saying less and no more. If you somehow mistake this as weakness, the moment you abuse this courtesy, I will not hesitate to withdraw this treatment.

  • @bobbob2083
    @bobbob2083 24 дня назад +4

    Very convicting, thanks for not being the "nice guy" and saying the hard truth.

  • @carnakthemagnificent336
    @carnakthemagnificent336 23 дня назад

    I appreciate your wisdom and insights. Confessing my sins, admitting my failures, are healthy practices, I've not exercised enough. Also: praying for my enemies.

  • @billyblake3177
    @billyblake3177 16 дней назад

    Truthfully your right and your words have been used in much edification to us men that myself included that needs room for improvement. I always say if your not constantly working on improving yourself than yourself will fall behind