31 Years Old & No Friends | 1 Year Later UPDATE
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- Опубликовано: 3 окт 2022
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Since the I'm 31 and have no friends video has been popping up lately. I felt the need to talk about how my headspace is and what is different. I have been battling a lot with demons lately and the timing is a little weird.
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My dad told me when I started high school that after I graduated, I'd eventually lose track of everyone. I thought he was crazy, but he turned out to be 100% correct. I think posting these videos is healthy because looking at the comments, a lot of people feel the same way.
Friendship like a love relationship, tend to evolve. I have many friends I rarely speak. It's been over a year since I talked to a few of them, but sure as hell, if I need a favor, all I need to do is typ: "Hey, stupid, how you been? You got me forgotten and now you gotta pay. Wanna do me a favor, plz? I'm in a urge right now.." and they'll be there as soon as they can if it's possible for them.
You don't need to talk to someone everyday to call it a friend. That's an evolved friendship. Most of my dudes know they don't even have to remember my birthday. All they need to do, is be there when I really need them. And funny enough, all of them are out of the country right now, except for one, and this one I've been like 6 months without sitting in a table and drink a beer, despite we live at 10-15 min from each other.
The older you get, the less energy, and the more lonely you want to be, but at the same time, it's good to know you have people you can trust... You get married, all your attention goes to your home, your job, your responsibilities, and your friends go to a second page, a page that is not forgotten, but kept there with care.
So true! A lot of them get pregnant as well. I have never wanted children and respect those who do. However, they never respected me for my life choices. Strange that.
@@robertoj.9509For the "I have many friends I rarely speak to" I can see how this may apply when you're older, but It's hard for me right now still being a 17 year old. I'm also naturally dependent on people, as much as I try to be independent, so I feel the need to have friends I consistently talk to. I've come to accept that I'm just different from people my age, but there's always some days where I just get down about the loneliness.
You got a huge amount of support here my dude. We all love you and we're here for you.
thats worth shit tbh, words aint nothing but words but i get that it comes from a good spot, reality is different tho
Hey Cody. I relate to everything your saying. Sometimes it’s kinda embarrassing to tell people how alone you feel. So thank you for posting this.
I'm on a spiritual journey. I'm alone and single. I'm pretty content being at home and doing nothing.
@@leadnsteel1428 that's good that you're enjoying it, I use time like that to learn guitar
Yep, I feel alone a lot. Grew up as an only child, so most of the time, I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me, but there are times I really need a real friend to just hit up and hang out with. The only people I really like I see online. I don't have friends IRL who believe the same things I do and actually want to hang out too. It's just online and then some raver community people I know, but they're not like real friends, and the few I thought I had who were real, didn't want to be there for me when I needed someone the most to just listen to all the depressing BS I was dealing w/in my personal life from family going crazy etc. Wasn't even anything I was doing. But I've learned in life you can't really count on anyone, and I think it has to do w/how increasingly isolated people have become, where we do most of our socializing online and rarely go anywhere to meet people in person anymore. And people have just become so fake and flakey b/c they're afraid to be their authentic selves and have grown up in this highly dysfunctional society.
It’s REALLY hard to find people that you can call true friends, people you can rely on. You’ll make it through this, you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Yes I agree. Especially with new friends. Your not sure if you can really trust them or not yet or you might find something about them you dislike
I agree, I have 3 in the 38 years.
I remember when I first watched your original video, at 25, I thought this "not having friends" was something unique with me. It was not until I found your video, among others, that opened my eyes and made me realize it's not just me and showed how bad our society has gotten, especially since social media affected things! Now, at 26, I reconnected with an old friend from high school, and I've more or less have come to this acceptance that this is our new society, where most people don't want to engage in person anymore. I wish you luck and thanks for enlightening me on this, since I know now it's not just me!
I'm 31, no friends or gf and still live at home so you're not as bad off as me lol
@@nixonagnewreviews7206 i learned never talk bad about yourself. And improve day by day, having something to ger your anger out (like after reading comments), forgive other people and take responsability
Yes, it's sad and true. We have to all work towards rebuilding a more healthy vibrant society w/real caring people again.
Most people are selfish. Their social needs are being met; maybe they have a girlfriend/boyfriend that takes up all their focus, maybe they just stick with family or one or two old friends. Anything can happen in life. Your friends, family, and significant other might move away, or die, or leave you. You might move away, and be unable to meet new people. Selfishness extends beyond wanting physical possessions; it's the refusal to let other people into your life, even with as little as small talk or a smile.
Everyone can find themselves alone. Be kind, reach out to others, reciprocate when people make an effort with you. Doing so can prevent this from happening to you, and can improve the quality of life of the people around you who may be suffering in silence.
I can relate on so many levels...I keep telling myself I'll just be good with being friendless/single/alone for the rest of my life, but then I keep getting reminded of how humans are social creatures and we need each other to thrive. It has especially been tough for the last 2.5 years because I moved to a new location and I haven't made a single friend since I have been here.
Keep your chin up; you're an inspiration to me! :) *hugs*
Same for me, moved out 5 months ago, haven't made a single friend..it's not like I'm trying though 😿 wish u the best, sending u big hugs💕🙏
Cody, I'm 44 and we are basically living the same life. I know exactly how you feel. I'm also disabled with autoimmune diseases and spinal problems so I don't look "disabled" and I'm constantly judged for that on top of everything else. I don't even bother dating anymore because as soon as a guy here's I'm disabled and not working (even though I have an income because I worked my whole life) they run. I'm basically a recluse at 44. You seem like a fun guy. Keep your head up, enjoy the things you do and remember we are all here for you 🙂
Sorry to hear. :( It sucks for so many of us!
Same here
I feel you. I’m a disabled veteran and in the middle of a divorce because my ex could not deal with it. She said she doesn’t respect that I don’t work even though I make more money then she does.
I'm also disabled with chronic illnesses, stupid people also don't believe me and have judged me for it. I'm 22 and I'm incredibly lonely lol. I really don't know how I'm supposed to meet people when I spend all my time either in pain in my bed, or at the hospital.
@@luchirimoya 100% I feel you - lots of people dont believe shit until they feel it themselves. There's a lot of people like you out there though - dont forget that
No worries bro. Be glad you're not me. I'm almost 38 and I have two people I consider friend/family. And only one of them lives in my state and we don't hang out much because life. You still have time lol
Im 37 and I have 1 friend. lol
Its better to have few good friends than many bad.
Same here but maintaining one real friendship is fine with me. The other friend I had died young so that was a real drag.
Im 40, my friends are my wife and kids.
I was an addict for most of a decade, and intentionally distanced myself from my friends out of shame and concern for any bad influence i may have had on them.
Then at the end of my addiction, i got rid of any bad influences, and acquaintances, and the one person I'd call a friend living through that lifestyle, and now I'm 36 and also feelin the loneliness.
One step at a time and all, but i think I'm ready for a friend or two.
Good luck to y'all in your quest. You folks have a great afternoon
turning 37 and in ur boat
I am 46 and can say, The smaller the circle of people you have in your life the easier life will be. I have 4 good friends from my childhood that I still hang with, I am from Alabama also.
4 good freinds is ALOT dude. i dont think you realize that your not in his situation . if you got 4 you are not a lonely person
4 people since childhood, that's a lot of familiarity and history.
This is a big part of why I went from having a large amount of casual friends who didn't put any effort in the relationship in my teens and 20s to having like 3 or 4 very close friends now that I'm 40. I got tired of things being one sided and me always being the initiator. Life is too short to chase after people who aren't willing to match your level of commitment. My wife and I roll our eyes everytime one of our more casual friends says "Hey, I never hear from you guys. We should get together." This is after we've invited them to 3 or 4 things and they don't respond until after the it has happened even though these people live on their phones. They claim to be too busy to even respond to a text message. 🙄
Man this video couldn’t have came at a better time , I just turned 25 and I was thinking how I couldn’t even call 5 people to come celebrate it with me and I started to think about how when i was turning 21 I threw my own bday party and Invited a lot of people who I thought were friends but out of all the people I invited probably close to 12 to 15 only 1 person showed up and that friend I consider a brother but it was so embarrassing at the time he even offered to give me money for all the food and drinks I had bought that was gonna go to waste , it just sucks , I kind of blame myself for it I was so focused on career and school that I drove everyone away and now I’m realizing it wasn’t worth it to have what you need but still feel so lonely , I don’t even go out anymore I just sit at home and play video games with my free time and I enjoy but I feel like I should be going out and having fun in my younger years but it sucks I can’t even make friends anymore , I became such a loner
I think a lot of us have been there
Have you tried traveling?
It fills the time and broadens the topics you can talk about and also gives you a different perspective on life.
Good luck
even if you hadn't focused on your career, those friends and families could have left you in the dirt. It wouldnt change much.
The classic is, you wouldve kept in touch with them all but you eventually find out that if YOU stopped calling some friends then the friendship wouldnt last very long...
Its really out of your hands. trust me on that. dont debate this in your head. you didnt mess your situation up. It would've NATURALLY happend. it happens to alot of us who did cherish our friends.
Dont beat yourself up because you actually didnt cause it dude.
You definitely aren’t alone. I also did this, i am 22 looking for a way out currently. Video games are the thing i do when im free, and yet it still feels like i should be doing more social things.
Same boat here bro and I am 20
Yeah, it's become an epidemic that I wish we'd talk about more as a society. I'm 37 now and have the same issues. Wasn't sure if it's just the nature of the city I'm in or what, but I know young people are having this issue everywhere now. If it's not about partying, people don't show up, and if you're not a super social butterfly then yeah they might not even show up for that. I'm an introvert, but still love to socialize when the mood is right, but I can't have any bday parties b/c no one would show up for me either.
I was going through similar experience since two years ago, after a close family member got really sick, my crush confessed and told me we not compatible after only one month, and a friend who betrayed me. Felt like there’s no one, it was the toughest two years I had. Did a lot of thinking, reflecting, and crying. Felt like I have no one to talk to. I still experience episodes of intense feeling of loneliness, emotions just came pouring and hit me like a train. I learn to just embrace this sadness and allow myself to be in that sad state to completely let it out. I stopped letting my emotions bottled in. It’s ok to feel sad, it’s ok to feel lonely. However, having a support system is really important and I’m sure you know. Try reaching out and let them know your emotional state, if they know and choose to be there for you, they a keeper. Friendships are nurtured and attested through time and moments like this. Best of luck. And keep in mind, you’re worth it, you’re not alone, you’re loved. (PS hugs someone and allow yourself be vulnerable with someone you’re comfortable with)
I've been there before too, where everything was going wrong at once and I had no one who would even just be there to sit and let me vent so I wasn't keeping it all bottled up inside. It really sucks, but I guess it makes us stronger people for it. If you're religious at all, I would say that leaning on God will help you too. I'm still finding my way religiously and am already 37, but I'm increasingly feeling that we just can't put our faith in other people. We can love them, but don't put faith in them or trust them to always be there for you. It seems only God will be.
I'm so sorry you've had to go through this, sadly you aren't alone either. I know its tough but your viewers here do care about you and they hang onto your every word. location and distance just sucks for everyone these days. People don't make time for others even if they were childhood friends.
Birthday part: Had a similar experience when I was gonna have my 22nd birthday. I planned the whole party, got lights, music and food all set up. I had a Facebook event set up 2 weeks ahead of time, invited a ton of my then friends to come in which at least 50 said they were going for sure. Well the night of the party and...only my manager from work and her sister showed up for about 5 mins to come say hi and see how I was doing and then left. The money and time I wasted, how crappy I felt after. I never threw myself another birthday party again.
I would go on to have better birthday experiences but never a stay-at-home or stay in once location party ever planned again. Years later drama would happen within the group of people I knew and I left the bs and haven't really had any close friends since. Ive tried of course but only found manipulators and people that are only out for themselves and will use you for whatever skill you're good at til they are done with you.
In the same boat: I'm now 33 and still have trust issues making new friends and not staying well connected with anyone due to not wanting to be hurt again or having my time wasted on false hope. I get by but some days are harder than others. I don't really even have many online friends I can count on to even do any basic gaming with, too many people trying to be content creators/streamers and they just forget their own friends while they stream to like barely 10-20 people. Imagine seeing someone give up on your friendship of years to a bunch of random viewers on their streams that don't even give them money when they're trying to make their "career" and the sad thing is some of these people are getting into my age, so late 20s to early 30s and they are acting like this.
The lack of maturity and loyalty is astonishing these days and honestly I don't think it will get any better for the future.
Same thing happened to me man for my 21st birthday, planned a huge party invited probably 15 people and only 1 person showed up , it was my best friend and really the only friend I have till this day , I’m 25 now and feel lonely at times , I just get down whenever I think about that day still had all this food and drinks and my other friend the only one who showed up ,offered to pay me back for all the food and drinks , just made me feel so shitty that day
I dont text all the time but this video touched me. There are more people out there that have these issues with friends and family. I only have my hubby and my 2 kids in my life. Trying to keep friends and even family can be emotional hell. My 15 yr old daughter is going through a lot of the same things you said. I cannot count how many times people ghost her, called her names, hit her, finally got out of toxic relationship with psycho kid. She asked me yesterday if it was her fault nobody likes her. I became a recluse to stay away from this shit. But my heart goes out to everyone who has so many people dissappear with no explanation. All I could do was hold my daughter, tell her I love her and say I was sorry. This should not be happening. There was nothing I can do and the way society is going, it is looking bleak. With that being said, you have noticed how many online people love you. I thank you for everything you post. You mean a lot to some of us for your knowledge. We all just need to keep taking 1 step forward, keep the truth out there and love yourself. 💙💚💙
It's amazing to think how many people really go through this.. me included... I always have been surrounded my acquaintances, and not REAL friends.. you know the kind of people that are your FRIEND when they need something. And are always trying to one up me in my life. It sucks. But these people in your life are not really friends my man. A true friend will never leave you hanging! And I have had to learn that the hard way. But hey need a friend! Reach out! Stay strong!
canyou explain this. a true friend will never leave you hanging? thanks so much.
This video hit hard for me personally. I've been in the same social situations for most of my life. You'll put so much effort in and get less than nothing in return.
Been there. As a divorcee, I was scared shitless when it happened. Didn´t know where to run... The only thing I can say is that what got me through is learning to live with myself, stop thinking of others as support or depending on someone else.
Betrayals tend to scar us deep inside and make us lose all faith on humanity, so knowing and living with oneself is what we all, in the end, have. It is MUCH easier said than done... First time I tried to interact with another person after the divorce, chills ran down my spine... I ran, until I told myself that running wouldn´t solve anything.
Once I was cool with myself, then I was able to open up... Nowadays, I can safely say that I can´t complain... Of course one has surges of loneliness from time to time, but that is to be expected, it is our survival instinct kicking in.
The only one that will be with you until the end is yourself. So get to know yourself, see what you like or dislike. And discard what seems like an obligation rather than desire.
(40 year old man speaking over here, divorced right after I turned 30... Spent a year in self-destruct party mode right after the split)
Hey Cody, I understand how you feel. I am 31 and single with only a handful of friends (really only one that I occasionally hang out with these days) and I just got out of a long-term relationship about a year ago. I have family but they are pretty busy with their day-to-day lives so I can relate to the feeling of being alone at times. I can only offer up my advice. I have developed a strong faith in God and His word has really impacted my life in a positive way. I know He is by my side every day, even on the days that seem hard. I also try to check myself and keep perspective when I'm feeling down. I remind myself that there are a lot of people in this world right now who are going through things far worse than I am. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that, though I do know that the world can be a cruel place and leave all of us feeling empty at times. Anyway, I just wanted to say that I will be thinking about you and I'll keep you in my prayers. Take care of yourself. Love ya, bud.
I thought this was me. 31, single with a handful of friends, and got out of a 4 year relationship a year ago next month. Funny thing is, I moved 10 hours aways from friends and family (they don't do much anyways) for us to start a life in another state...and well...that didn't work. It was rough at first but, I started enjoying my own company and hanging out with co-workers/people i've met randomly. I have the same mindset as you, I'm blessed to be in the spot i am and it can be much worse.
Single Christian men on this guy's page... 😮 is this were you all are?
If it makes you feel better I’m in Australia.I’m 40 years old and most people I know or family members friends or acquaintances are much less or finished.
I think it’s the way society is going now even globally.
The cost of living $$$ inflation and even time-aging.
Take care 👍
@@JaelH7 yes
Man i think im just done trying to make friends. Maybe thats what we need to do. I feel like ive been coming to the realization that i may be one of those "a little bit of you goes a long way types". I say im going to keep trying to be the best version of myself that i can be.
I kind of feel the same way. I actually stopped celebrating my birthday since 2007. It almost feel like other than the fact that you are still alive in good health, you want more out of life. I'm older than you by 5 years and I am still trying to accomplish my life goals. I remember one statement that my 12 grade English teacher gave me a note saying
that if you keep yourself busy, someone will come around to be you or something along those words. I still kept the note, but I forgot exactly what she wrote down. It looks like that you are trying to fill a void that is hard to pin down.
You mentioned certain parts in your life up to this point such as being bullied as a kid, divorcing your first wife, getting fired by GameStop twice( once by proxy through Walmart), and being "Swatted" by other people from RUclips. I can't really say that you reached your limit socially. However, keep in mind that the people you are trying to invite to certain events might have something else planned. Focus on the accomplishments and activities that you have right now and keep trying to invite people along.
Stay strong bro, I feel you about the loneliness and imposter syndrome. I'm 30 & I only have three real friends, one of them is my roommate, but I still feel alone most of the times. Always open to talk about things, and feel enjoyment in life. What usually helps me is music, the gym, and weed personally.
Totally relate. I'm 19 and feel just the way you do because everyone I once used to know has their own busy lives and responsibilities now. I can't stop feeling alone every chance I get and the problem is I'm surrounded by an abusive family situation, which just makes me feel more alien to everyone around me.
Bro your a amazing person I’d be glad to call you my friend your the type of friend that wouldn’t turn his back on anyone those people did not deserve you. Chin up brother you got this!
I like watching your contents & appreciate your sense of humor. I have those moments myself so I get it & it"s another reason why I like watching your channel. I feel a bit better from your constant sarcasms & informing us about the BS that happens @ retail stores.. Keep it up my man. You're a good person.
Stay strong Cody! I'm always here for ya brotha man! I'd definitely be glad to call you a friend of mine! Love You bro! I sadly can and unfortunately still do relate to this big time.
I’m 26 and I’m starting to feel my core group of friends from highschool slowly drift away. We all live in the same area but everyone has their own thing going or they are always hanging out with their significant other. So no one make’s time for each other anymore. It sucks but I’m trying to accept it as part of life and now the only time we’ll be in the same room all of us is only for big events like a wedding. We went from hanging out every weekend to maybe once a month. It’s something I had to mentally come to terms with over the summer. I still live at home, I’m single, and I have a dead end job so I’m in a rut myself. We’ll get through this, I’m so sorry you had to experience what happened to you.
Dude don’t worry about it! The only friend friend I had showed up to my mothers funeral drunk and haven’t had a proper friend since but it’s okay life has been good and I’m 31.
You seem to be a great person from what I seen from here. Someone I would hang out with if we were closer in real life. I myself even feel lonely at times even with family around. Some just don't understand what some go through and how certain things can hurt someone without realizing what they may be doing. Keep doing what you are doing on here since you are getting through to some people who care for you and more will come in due time.
Somehow I still get amazed when people say stuff outloud that I think is only in my head, despite the countless times I've been proven wrong and that other folks feel those same thoughts but are braver than I because they share them. Also I feel you'd appreciate knowing that I always pause your videos accidentally at the exact moments when you got some dopey expression which cracks me up when I go to restart it.
Your videos connect well because people can tell you care. You just want a friend who values the relationship same if not more than you. I’m in the same boat. Just stay positive don’t let it turn you. I had a friend who would complain about these problems while I was hanging with him. He couldn’t even see he had a friend in his face ready to bbq play games, drink and hangout with. He was stuck wishing he had his old friends which made me seem like nothing to him.
People tend to take things for granted.....until their gone...
We all love ya man. Keep on going strong, dude!
Sending love and positive thoughts. You're not alone in these feels. Well kind of but you know what I mean! As I get older I find my "friends" go years without thinking about me until I initiate conversation with them. I'm probably one of those people that sucks to hang out with but no one says anything. Maybe we can outgrow it even in our 30s!? ❤️
I can relate to the feeling of loneliness. Turned 30 years old about 6 months ago, was single for most of my 20s (hardly had anything happen since I've been at my job), and no social life. Between the 2 friends that I used to hang out with in high school, one disappeared for 10 years and the other just went on with his new life. The sad part about the latter of the two is that he used to visit once in a while to chat and even visited me while I was recovering from chest surgery in 2008. Can't even remember the last time I heard from him because he's got a whole new life of his own, taking up all of his time.
I get how you feel Cody, I've been watching you for almost 2 years now I think? I see a lot of myself in you man especially the part about feeling alone. It's a feeling thay never goes away for me man not gonna lie, but every person is different I just try to keep myself occupied going to the gym.
You’ve definitely come a long way, and I think you’ll continue to go far. As clichéd as it sounds we’re all on this journey with you! You are a decent and despite going through tough times, you deserve to be applauded for your resiliency.
At the same time what you’ve done is highlighted is how it is ok to not be ok. I’ve been to some dark head spaces myself over the years. You also have a variety of interests which is good. I know it isn’t 2006 anymore but some people like the Hamza RUclipsr still stereotype us gamers as crusty people in our crusty gaming chairs, eating Doritos and knocking back Mountain Dew. People like you are living proof of how wrong they are.
I like the gym too and you seem to go more than I do which is good (my excuse for going once a week is because the gym I use is at work and I can only tolerate going in once or maybe twice a week). You race too and keep active, and you don’t waste time. You’re knowledgeable too and these qualities will stand you in good stead for life.
Not sure what else I can advise really, I’m autistic and 39 and sometimes I wonder if I have things figured out. I find going for walks helps and I like to do one thing every so often that scares me.
Even if you find something isn’t for you at least you will have tried.
Wishing you the best.
Sorry to hear that man. I'm in the same situation. No friends kinda sucks sometimes. I tried to have a birthday thing once and nobody showed. It's not a great feeling. Keep your head up.
Thanks for being strong enough to make a video like this and talk about it. You will inspire so many others to open up about this. Also RUclips unsubscribed me so I fixed that, keep up the good work.
I totally agrer
I've been following you for about half a year now, and love your content. I deal with the same issues, just one friend, but rarely hangout with her. Know you have a ton of support, even if we are just online. If I lived closer I would have totally showed, even if unexpected! LOL
same. id' show up just to make sure my dude knows how much he's a gem . would be honored to be his friend in RL. they dont make them like him these days. hes a good heart
Man I don't know how I found you but this resonates with me so much, I feel the same as you, I feel alone, like the people that are and were in my life would put the least amount of minimal effort possible and I would be the one trying to nurture the friendship, I am the one or I try to be the one to always be there if someone needs to me, emotionally, financially, anything but it is rarely ever reciprocated these days I find. I am so happy you made it and released it because I am in the same place and it helps me know I am not alone, seriously thank you so much and I am sending you positive vibes and good energy. You seem to have a very good honest vibe , I liked and subbed.
You’ve grown so much my friend. Love you! If they can’t be real with you and just tell you how there feeling about the friendships Sounds like they not worth your time. If they can’t put in the effort there not worth it.
Cody, you rock and I'm sorry that they do this to you. You're the greatest and if there was something I could do, I would but you have my support and all the respect in the world.
I totally understand the whole trying to be there and holding friendships together. You seem like a good guy Camelot and I’d totally hangout with you if we were friends in the real world.
I'm 32 and only have 2 friends, I hardly see them and they are always busy. When we do see each other or message each other from time to time but its not the same as it once was. For me throughout the years I've come to understand that life happens to everyone. I definitely know where you are coming from and yes it does suck. And I also saw that video you mentioned, don't be too hard on yourself man. Anyway I'm a fan and really enjoy your channel, keep your head up Cody.
You’re a cool guy, don’t worry about it so much. We all have those days where we overthink about that stuff and it’s just coincidence.. and there is absolutely nothing wrong with venting, sometimes we all need to do that too
You have accomplished a lot personally. You’re a professional driver, you’re walking workout motivation, you’re buff AF, and you’re funny as hell!
I totally agree with you man i put it all into a friend group and spent about 10 months with this group of friends i made one mistake and all of them abandoned me and im in a similar headspace and am like burned out trying to find friends and start over like people just don’t get you put your heart and soul into something and it just blows up in ya face and your just done so I can relate
Only just recently subscribed and im so glad I did ! Theres a lot of support for your brother ! ❤️
I know exactly how you feel and I'm in this same spot. but a year or maybe even 2, I stopped communicating with "friends" I quit being the one to start a conversation or say "hey.." and noticed how everyone is just gone. it just kinds hit me.. friends and friendships are what you have as a kid. and when you grow up, you still want that. because half your life has been about friends and hanging out. but when you get older friendships aren't as important. but it's hard to let go. there's a reason you can't spell "friendship" without "ends."
I can say I feel this. Going through something similar myself. I get it.
It's so weird I legit just watched the first video go to break and you post this video. I feel you man everytime I try to do anything with friends they say heck yeah and always cancel.
I'm so sorry Cody. I understand how you feel man. I go through this quiet a bit. Stay strong brother.
I know how you feel man I lost my most recent friends in a similar way recently and the only 2 friends I have remaining live too far away and I never see them and texting only goes so far before it becomes repetitive and redundant when there’s nothing left to talk about and you need that in person interaction where you do fun activities together. I’ve pretty much given up on friends and making new friends myself and now I either focus on myself or finding a girlfriend.
No lie, that video actually brought me to your channel last year or so and the content you have about the corporate jobs and video games kept me watching alot. I think I searched: not having friends or not needing friends or something to see what people talked about that topic and saw yours. I don’t really have friends like that at all either at 28. If I was to think of what you’re going through, it could be that maybe you’re wearing your heart on your sleeve, and I notice you have self deprecating humor, so it potentially could make it hurt more when people end up treating you as less important on top of all of that, and that’s kind of a mechanism you use to deal with rejection. Also btw, I’m a Christian, I don’t want to throw that around for no reason, and with my belief I have the idea that you’re probably feeling unsatisfied in life in general. There’s only so much you can be satisfied by the world before it gets boring, or you become older and don’t care about the same things as before. But I wish you the best man! Something that’s in the Bible talking about that is 1 John 2:17-And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.
About a week ago I had this really strong feeling that I wanted to comment on Cody's video he made a year ago about being lonely. I was totally surprised to see he had made an update to that video at the same point in time that I was feeling the same thing.
I felt the need to commiserate and connect about feeling so alone in this time, place, culture, and society. Autumn brings out such a pervasive feeling of not having a home, family, or anyone in my life who cares. Of not belonging. It feels like such a time of gathering together and preparation for the coming cold weather and holiday get togethers that it just brings out your own isolation in such stark contrast and the biting pain of despair stings more than usual.
Also, I heard Cody mention that he had had a meet-up in one of his vids or live streams so I held out the hope of finding out if future meet-ups were in the works.
Even though I'm almost a generation older than Cody I feel like I definitely relate to him and by extension to his "crowd" and would probably have a good time and possibly make some new friends
I feel you bro, I also try to reach out to my old friends I had in school. I get really nostalgic thinking about all the good times even though that was over 10 years ago. I’m married but I feel that my wife is just my partner in life but not really a friend I can co hearse with. Yeah it’s crazy, seems all I do now is just work on the house, take my kids out, and work. No time for anyone else, no one ever asks about me, nor do they probably care. I shut down my Facebook a year ago and not even one person even my own family noticed. Maybe this is how life is, do what’s best for you, learn as much as you can, make a difference as best as you can. I like being around people but I tend to not interact with them. Just my way of coping. Do good work and live for the better moment which might come one day.
Man I’m with you on this one, but just tough it out and keep grinding. You’ve got some rad success on RUclips and you really don’t need those people in your life if they are not going to show up for you. I went through the same thing for my bday this year to the point of 4 people showed up and everyone else cancels or flaked. Because of that, I’ve come to realize that most of my so called “friends”. Don’t want a single thing todo with me unless I’m handing out food or paying for everything.
Your words on this topic are exactly my experience. I started feeling this way around your age, I'm 41 now. I wish I had the answers.. all I know is I try not to let it bother me too much (even though I think about it constantly) and I try to find happiness in my life.. alone. Also, don't give up on others... old and new. At the end of it all.. we are all we have.. but our connections to others do not define us.
Love the new video. I feel so bad that some of my friends feel ignored. I have ADHD and issues with object permanence. I message someone a year later and didn’t know it’s been that long. But I love them as much as I did then.
That video just got caught in the algorithm somehow bc I had never heard of you until I watched that! Now I'm hooked lol. You're very relatable
Never apologize for getting emotional.
You spoke from the heart, which is very moving.
You've struck a cord with millions of people on the subject of being lonely.
You will never know the true impact, of how you are helping so many people.
Please make more of these videos of your thoughts and emotions.
Your rambling is very therapeutic.
Sending Hugs 🤗
music and art helped me immensely. Something about them that has always helped me and still helps me with all aspect of my life. A huge reason why I got my fine arts degree. It was worth it.
Videos like this make me want to reach into the screen and get to doing some therapy! Good to be candid on video to your audience, vulnerability is rare, and it’s good that you’re being so honest and rational about what you’re thinking and how you’re behaving. There’s lots more here though to comb through, not so much to change or anything, but to bring your inner self into the light, to truly see all the thoughts and stories you’re telling yourself and all the behavioural patterns you use and so on, and when you see all that, you can start to slowly shift perspective, slowly adjust behaviour, and learn to be more aware of things. It’s a result of the environment you’re in that you’re feeling this way, both the bad and the good as well, and it would be awesome if you could start to deepen and improve on the self awareness you already have, and expose yourself to the weaknesses or problems that are causing you pain in order to free up space for improvement. X
I'm sorry to hear about your troubles Cody.
I think a main point in all of this is the importance of family. Never take them for granted. Keep them close and cherish them. These friends will come and go throughout your life. It happens to all of us.
The elderly will often tell those that will listen that in life, you are lucky if you ever have one true friend.
From what I can tell, you do not have a repulsive personality. On the contrary, you seem like a very likable person.
You're just going through this journey, and coming to terms with a cold hard truth about this life.
Keep your chin up man. You seem like a great guy, and you genuinely make ne laugh daily. I hope you feel better soon. Also nothing to be ashamed about sharing this. It's refreshing to hear your honesty.
I am 51 and I feel for you ...I am alone most of the time and I have days that it bothers me but it wears off....you'll make it through and be stronger for it
My goodness, I literally just went back to re-watch your video from 2021, and I see this on my recommended I've been making RUclips videos since I was 14 years old. Still haven't seen any success for all my hard work (and 1,500+ videos) and it has been really discouraging. While I do have friends, I don't really talk to anyone regularly. I think having essentially grown up trying to be a RUclipsr, I've had trouble branching out. Especially when I was in school, I had trouble relating to social situations that others could understand. Now that I'm an adult, married, living in my own house, I still make RUclips videos. I'm not sure what kind of a gap in my life I seem to have that makes me want to keep posting to not many people. As my community finally started to grow this year, and I'm truly grateful for that. But I often look back at all my years and time spent making videos and I wonder if its worth it, because I'm still on what feels like a endless walk to never see success. I'm about to be 25 soon, quarter of my life... I've never really had much support for my channel (and only connection to my childhood left) in real life. But for now, I plan to continue to try and entertain others. Hopefully someone else can be inspired to do what I could not.
Hey Cody, I stumbled across your first friendship video because I'm finding the same thing and honestly, I know so many people from different ages and walks of life that are struggling with friendships in adulthood. During the pandemic all my in-person efforts died, so I started an online game group. That worked for 2 years and has completely fizzled as restrictions lifted and people got back to closer to what they lived before. I'm fortunate to have a best friend that I email regularly and call maybe 1x a month because she is willing to put in equal effort to keep the friendship going. Unfortunately for us both, we are long distance as I had to move for work. But we BOTH value the friendship so we prioritize it. I don't know why so many people don't understand that friendship needs maintenance like any other important thing. I wish I had the solution, but it sounds like you've tried everything I've tried. Now I just thank my lucky stars for the Twitch streamers I watch that can give some background buzz to my day, and chats on Discord. In-person friendships seem to require years of effort, just to be ghosted randomly for no apparent reason. You are not at all alone in this. I know that doesn't help, but.. well maybe not being alone in being alone is.. something.
I 100% hear you Cody. I've been there, it's tough. Part of it is just life into your 30's as a single guy. It's really tough to establish new friendships and keep them.
I will say this brother, I know you just started up Wrath, and I did as well, so if you ever need anyone to talk to and just play with [which does help with the stress and getting a better mind set a bit] I'm here for ya. We can just have a few drinks and swap stories and whatnot. Seriously man, you don't suffer alone, don't fall for that pitfall, or mindtrap, that lie. HMU. Love ya Cody. You don't have to try to be my friend, you just are buddy.
man I wish I had more homies like you, rare these days! head up bro!
I went through the same thing especially in senior year and post. You learn to expect people to put themselves first. One thing about friendships they aren’t always straightforward. Now at 28 I can’t get my sister to spend time with me. It really bothers me because I know she’s not honest about always being busy. Just cherish the real people who value your time. If someone is always late or missing dates then they don’t value your time.
Hi! I am so inspired by how brave you are to talk about your emotion. I guess that's why you have so many viewers. I learn so much from your videos.
Checking back here to see all the positive vibes. WOW boi... look at all these peeps loving on you. Hope you're feeling a bit better 😘😘😘.
I'm with Ya man. It seems impossible to make friends once you hit 30. I also struggle with when i go out of my way to make a friend i usually come out the other side with why did I do this I don't even like this person. The only solace I can provide is enjoy your own company and the person you are. And if you ever start feeling really dark reach out to someone and talk. 👍
I’m sorry man! I can relate to those feelings. We are here for you! I would definitely hang out with you if I lived closer
I personally found joining a Rec league (softball and kickball, but there are others in my area) super helpful to meeting new people in real life. I'm terrible at both sports, but it is fun to play and my teammates have become friends. As far as meeting a significant other (if that's something you want right now, for a long time it was not a priority for me), broadening my horizons was a huge help. I met my now husband on a typical dating site, but he was not from my area or even country. We fell in love long distance and now 5 years later, we're building a life together and super happy and I've met new people through him. There is no shame in having more online friends than irl friends, sometimes the people that get on with you most aren't even from your area.
It is a hard place to be mentally, been fighting depression for 6 years now, I don't trust friends no longer and I have even pushed my family away because I can't trust them. I lost my confidence, I don't go out. I find the best thing is to plan something good, something to look forward to, something to focus on. I also take meds from the doctor, its trial and error until u fine the right meds and right dose. Some days will be good and others difficult but you are not alone, you have built a community who care and that is great. Well done for opening up, your 100% real x
I'm sorry you're going through a hard time, thank you for your videos and your honesty! Obviously I don't know you so I can only speculate and suggest but when you have these friendships do you get clingy? Sometimes when people feel too much pressure they back away. My advice is to work on why you feel you need friends this badly and to become self sufficient emotionally/mentally. Hope you find your peace buddy ❤️ keep up the amazing work with your videos!
I’m 100% there with you in understanding. Major life changes recently have left me in the same place. We both are people who are extroverts who express ourselves. I’ll reach out on twitter and feel free to reach out any time you just need someone to talk to.
Hey! Hang in there Cody. Been there with you. To this day, I still feel alone being married but watching your videos or by connecting with you on your streams dissipates these feelings away. You have always been a great and funny guy. Keep it up with your videos, and don't let your mental health get to you. Life sometimes takes a turn. Just lost my mom and changed shifts so things happen.
I've seen many video suggestions like yours. I don't know how common it is, but have felt that being alone is not the same as being lonely. Not having friends can have its benefits. I myself have wanted to be someone without many friends, but have found it difficult because some people seemed to dislike me for being alone. There can be significant, real benefits to not having friends. you might find a type of freedom, for example, which you never knew before.
I feel you, I'm 50 and I'm in the same place. Maybe it's something in the water? I can't get out of this funk where life is no longer fun anymore. No idea why but I have an appt with my Dr this Friday to hopefully get some form of anti-depression med.
As someone who is going threw the same thing, I just wanted to also say that after some time and friendships drifting apart i think people get anxiety over seeeing them. Will they still like me?,will they notice how much weight i have gained?, will it not be the same and disappointing. Sometimes its just easier to not put yourself out there anymore and stay in your safe life you made.
I appreciate the honesty and I think while it is difficult as you get older to course correct certain things, I think people give up on themselves too soon. I mean I can't say 31 is young, but at the same time I know people older who still find what you are looking for, that sort of close interaction with somebody, even just a friend. I think it can still happen, some times it's okay to break from looking and some times even when we stop forcing it so much it can come in unexpected. Not saying it always happens that way, but it can. Also I think like I said people give up on themselves a lot. Stuff can still happen at 30, nothing is set in stone. Of course it's your decision, but you know like they say life isn't over until it's over.
You’re preaching to the choir my man. I just cut my ties with my best friend from college because she’s so enveloped in her medical job we just don’t talk anymore. As much as I want to be mad I get it, but I’m not gonna try to make contact for the time being. Meanwhile most of my friends near me are married and I don’t have much going on outside of work. It’s easier said than done, it really is. But you’re not alone, sometimes it’s gotta get bad before it gets good. Until then just take it easy
Hang in there man. All my friends in family are halfway across the country. It’s been rough trying to meet new people.
I can relate. I think the key thing has to be the structure on a day to day or at least every couple of weeks basis. That’s the only thing that gets you into contact with the same people repeatedly etc. I think the main thing enabling that structure is yes pursuing hobbies etc. but it’s more like having some kind of common goal or purpose with the other person/people that keeps you both or all incentivised to regularly and frequently meet up. I’m still trying to figure out how to build those structures and develop those goals and interests that will enable me to go out and connect with others of like mind. Whether it’s music, creative writing, poetry, sports/fitness, learning, travelling, a social purpose or political commitment/campaign etc. But yeah. That’s the only thing I can see that really enables friendships.
I was litterly just rewatching the first one you msde five minutes ago im excited to see how your doing now
totally understand how you feel brother. your mind can be the worst enemy and it definitely doesn’t help when lifes curveballs come in to really F things up. stay strong man
I watch you because I can relate to a lot of this. Life is highs and lows and I guess you just keep going.
8.55 hit me like a ton of Bricks I totally get it, I had a friend going through a lot mentally due to a EX that messed him up, after phone calls, meeting up in person trying to support him as a friend of 5 years would. But as soon as he was in his words getting there and feeling better, shortly after he couldnt even give me 5 minutes of his time on the phone and was rescheduling all the time and saying he would call me back but never did constantly. I can't tell you the last time I spoke to him it felt like as soon as he was ok I wasn't needed anymore
The bowling alley hangout bit was relatable because the same thing happened to me many moons ago; I setup the hangout and even had people (coworkers) confirm they would be there. I was the only one there.
I had a group of friends mostly comprised of couples during most of my twenties; as soon as I heard one of them got engaged I knew right away to put on my figurative "seat belt" and brace for what's next. During my late 20s-early 30s, I went from seeing these friends literally everyday to maybe a few times a month to not seeing them at all the last few years as they moved on to weddings, buying a house together, and starting a family.
I think the video you put out last year helped out a lot of people; although this one won't have the same happy conclusion, this video kind of allow an open discussion to occur, such as in this comment section.
Self-worth and validation I've learned had to come from within and having hobbies does help. But I can definitely relate to those 1% of the time where I felt alone. 90% or so of the rest of time I feel pretty independent and go about my day normally.
I find that watching some of my favorite Halloween movies, like Ghostbusters, during October is still enjoyable alone.
I'm hoping much success for you for your Halloween hangout and beyond 👍
Dude! We're kind of in the same boat. I know this is 9 months late, but I feel your pain. Back in 2019 I was forced into retirement (at 42) due to going blind. I had to give up my car, my job and interaction with pretty much eveyone I knew. The few friends I have always need to drive over to see me and pick me up all the time! I can no longer easily go out on dates and have an almost impossible time even finding a date when the woman hears that I'm legally blind, can't drive and don't work. I pretty much stay home all the time and very rarely see anyone anymore. Thankfully I have a lot of creative hobbies to keep me busy, but a time will come when I can't see well enough to do them. Hopefully by now, you're situation is better and you're getting a chance to get out and be with people. Good luck to you man. I hope it all gets better soon! 😊👍
I feel like what has helped is keeping on meeting new people. Prioritizing the people that prioritize you, make you feel safe and welcomed, and not putting so much weight on the people who don't. I use to make lots of excuses for people and kept giving them the same amount of energy but that really just prevented me from finding people who were better suited for me. They're out there, bro. Good hearted people that want to be your friends are out there.
I'm 44 with one friend who lives far away from me, so it's pretty much me and my hobbies.
Even hobbies can't always make me cope with the loneliness nor does it help that health can't make me stay in a job anymore, and where i live it's hard to get a 50% job.
So ye, depression is a foul thing i never thought i'd end up with.
However, even in depression i'm starting to get out of my fat shell i've been inside for a long time, does it help to get more fit? yes, a little, but life is still hard when the loneliness hits you in the face.
Cody i get what youre saying. The way i look at it is this. When we are born, we come into the world we enter it alone. People are only meant to be in our lives for a while and then they leave, when youre an old man and you die, even if you have your wife next to you, youre still leaving alone. Everything you need and ever needed is inside you. You are the best friend You will ever have. It sounds depressing but i think its actually comforting.
Feeling the same too. Allot of small business owners like myself go through the same thing too. People only talk to you when they want something, otherwise nothing.
People suck man, got to focus on yourself for a good mindset.
Hang in their bro! I’m 34 and just now learning as well, when you get older you really find out who you’re real friends are. Honestly I know it’s hard to keep positive, but try to remember you are better off, it’s them not you, it’s their own insecurities, maybe they do it because they are Jealous of you’re success and it makes them “feel better” about themselves? Wouldn’t surprise me one bit, people are batshit crazy 😂.
So sorry that happened to you, Cody. The famelot is here for you!
I don't have any local friends either Cody. My only three friends only live hundreds of miles away. Even my therapist is text-based (I highly recommend her she has helped me greatly). I have anxiety and I am an extremely introverted person. Been that way my whole life.
You aren't alone in this regard, lots of love brother you personally have helped change my life.
Been going through some BS, been missing livestreams unfortunately.
When people get into serious relationships they do tend to leave their single friends in the dust. These aren't real friends, they were just using you take make themselves feel better until they found someone.
This dude speaks everything that is on my mind! I’m not alone! Lol