why you have no friends (two reasons)
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2019
- Scott Ste Marie is a Mindfulness Practitioner, Coach and Mentor. Through his lived experience with depression and anxiety he has seen what is truly possible in recovery, healing, and living authentically. If you feel at ease and comfortable with the videos on this channel and Scott's approach to emotional and mental well-being, the resources below may be helpful to you.
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Hi, sir Good morning.
Hi ,I wish I had friends.I feel lonely because I don't have friends.Its a real pleasure to have Good friends.
@@athirachinju1611 You already have so many friends. Just go out and look at all the trees showing you their leaves. Look at the birds singing to you. Look at the mountains waving you their hands from afar. look at those you heve used to seeing them.
I am sad I have 2 friends but the rest of them hate me because I have anger issues. How do I stop this all my friends call me short kid they make fun of me because I don't have a father and they call me stop sign and tomato head how do I stop this.
@Dot thanks for the tip
the worst part of having no friends is knowing nobody cares.
Oh I saw you before in another vid like this. I hope things get better for you...
Does anyone want to be my friend lmao
Snapchat wise
Yes.
I feel same
I get so depressed when I see everyone having the best time with their friends and I'm just staying here doing nothing. Everyday I wake up and I have no messages.
My life is pretty much the same. I just... drift through my life... everyone else is living and I am not.
Same
@@ntmn8444 expect social media is the only connection i have. it’s that or nothing at all
@@ntmn8444 this was something that is really helping me too. Instead of scrolling mindlessly through photos and videos of people living their life, my old friends living their lives, I only check in 1-2 times a week. It gets pretty lonely at first because it’s a distraction coping mechanism. But you find yourself actually doing things to fill that void. And you don’t feel like you’re missing out on these moments you see on your screen because they’re not there in your world. Eventually you find your way outside, at a bar, at an event, you meet people and you have real experiences that aren’t filtered through photos and aren’t being filmed on Snapchat.
It’s a release.
same bro
After being alone for so long I have become extremely disconnected from people to the point where I don't know how to make friends anymore, and every encounter with other people feel artificial.
I feel you. I am in the same boat
This is it.
are you me?
I totally understand how you feel Cassie , I’m only 21 but I haven’t really had any real friends or anyone I hangout with on a regular basis since early on in high school. So just like you I’ve spent so much time alone and gotten so used to just being alone and now it feels like I don’t even know where to start when I try to make new friends. But just remember that there are tons of others who feel exactly like we do and sometimes you’ll run into someone who if you end up talking to them a little, you both might realize you feel the same way and would love to have a friend to share experiences with and just do fun things together with
@@aaroncurci6488
You are good man
The worst part about not having friends is the people who have friends, really don’t care how lonely it can be.
🙏❤ When somebody comes with snarck comment or they say or do one or two things that is uncalled for, know that that's a frenemy. I just moved out of the way and let her fly past and crash. Let your frenemies go before they drag you into their negativity and they distract you from being friends with bossbabes that love you; you love them; you love each other's families; you evolve; you grow together; she's the wind in your back; she's the sun ahead of you. And she really means the best for you. You have to get rid of a lot of people in your life. They're distractions that will distract you from your destiny, your ultimate goal. Throw them out. Don't respond to their accusations. They're not worthy of your golden time.
You build your brands; your careers, (your husband, your children). Be happy. Evolve to be this positive wonderful person. Don't let negativity in your life. I have seen it a couple of times. It happened to me. There are no regrets; only experiences. -Fumi Desalu Vold
Or they mock, which is worse
Isn’t it annoying when people cry and say they have no friends but then say they have like 3-4? I literally have no friends
Septimus Signus No friends mean zero. I had a friend of 15 years, 1 friend and that was enough for me. Now they're gone, ghosted me when I wasn't there for her once. Now I have no friends 0. It sucks, it hurts. A long time friend gone because I decided to have a good time with someone else (granted they turned out to be a jerk) no communication, not bothering to tell me why she ghosted which led me to believe either she was angry I didn't tell her I was out with another person or simply wasn't there for her. I go to my local game stop or retro game store just to have some human interaction. Can't really hang out with anyone so I go to places for minimal interaction around those with the same interest. Sorry for dumb story but people saying they don't have friends but technically do don't get it. How lonely and sad it is. How you go out to certain places just for some interaction with a person, even if it's fleeting and for minutes.
@Nemi last time i had a friend was 5 years ago, he tried to stay in touch but i developed social anxiety and now i cant make no friends
@@DracoMalfoy-ys2mo Its not easy.. and you can't exactly ask someone you have a slight connection with out of no where "hey lets exchange numbers" Its creepy.. Its hard to make friends when you're older, high school and such slight easier because you go to the same place with the same people every day. Afterwards, its much harder..
@Nemi indeed
Septimus Signus mans spittin fax
Friendship is an illusion in me. I gave my friends everything I could when they needed a friend, but I couldn't find one when I needed them.
Bro it really be like that tho :/
This is the reason i stop making friends bcz when u need them they don't even receive ur call......
There is a few people out there you can call real friends but they are rare as fuck
I’m finding that happening to me
ON GOD!
The worst part is never having anyone check in on you
how are you doing?
@@stephanie-fh2jd I’m ok. Just trying to figure something out and trying to enjoy my life
fr
It's too bad all us lonely people can't connect with some folks we meet today on this chat.
before facebook it was normal to phone people or call around to their houses, people don't do this anymore.
I'm 24 and honestly i tought i was used to not having friends, but today hit hard. I had i really exciting thing happening in my life in the morning and because of that i was REALLY happy. Afterwards i went to have lunch with my mom, and i was so happy that i didn't stop talking for a second, but she had to leave. When she left, i decided to go to the movies because i was really happy and didn't want to go home. At the movie theater the realization that i really have noone hit me. It never hit this hard and honestly i dont even know why it did hit so hard, but damm, i have never felt so alone. I don't even know why I'm writing this.
I do. It's the strangest experience, to be so happy and then to be left alone and suddenly feel down. Remember, it's impossible to stay on a permanent high, and coming down is disappointing. Writing about it helps.
Dont lose hope, things will turn around, they always do
@Stephany jablonofsky
I can relate 111% .. I've had serious health problems and couldn't work, barely leave the house for a decade.. Suddenly through family connections combined with miracles I got a job behind the scenes of the f'ing movie industry (?!?!) :O I remember the first evening after work, I was in the heavens of joy and after being on the phone with my parents sharing the first day of this amazing adventure, this struck me: What's joy and happiness if there's no one to share it with? Falling from the heavens with this realisation gave me even more depression than I had before.. I'm living in a place with a few thousand people, so getting new friends after becoming the villages black sheep because of rumours and speculation doesn't make app's and social media (which I don't have anyways) an option. But as my parents have moved out of this depressing village I'm finally out of reasons to stay here myself so I'll be relocating in the very near future.
@@Metaphoria_Music Interesting. Villages can create their own cliches. But when they're good, they're really good. It's normal to outgrow them too.
The fact that we ended up here watching this is already really sad
Exactly, it’s really bad for me because i used to have a lot of friends even like in 2019 and years before that I was quite popular, now I literally have like maybe 1 or 2 friends
Nah not really, it's okay
@@sliczedkaidzo2225 atleast you have friends. hold on to them
Yea tru:‘)
@@sliczedkaidzo2225 same but the thing now is i dont even have a single one
I hate how people are hanging out with their friends posting pictures and i am sitting in home watching 'no friends' videos.😞
@russel i have social anxiety as well....i can feel it
@russel i also keep thinking that what people think about me.....fear if the judge me n all
You don't know the basis of those friendships. You may find that they are making a similar amount of money or share the same ideologies, ideologies you may not be comfortable with. I remember reading an article about life and the author said life is like you being a fish in a fish bowl. You can see what is happening from where you are, but the water and the bowl distort your view of what is really happening outside that bowl. Might I add that you, as a "fish" are much safer in your bowl with water, than if you were to try and escape the bowl and go after what you see as you would die. Let them enter your bowl, let them find you in your element and then you will be fulfilled.
@@TejubescDM 💯 percent! One if my friends actually ditched social media recently. Social media cannot tell you what is going on in the friendships and relationships you see. Even I tend to post the good and fun things I do with certain people knowing fully well that I'm not really satisfied with the "friends" or people I'm doing it with. But because the viewers don't know that and only see good things, they will assume I'm perfectly happy, which is not the case.
@@lebomangena5229 truth, social media is a toxic place to be. It can easily take advantage of us if we let it. Social media is a tool for mind games and we should use it but not let it use us.
The worst part is having birthdays with no one to celebrate with . The “acquaintances “ I had and thought I could trust who I opened up to and let them know I haven’t had friends for years , they start acting weird and stop talking to me after that was known . So I started to hate people and I’d rather be alone . Very isolated . Just hangout out with my son . But it does get hard on birthdays and holidays . Oh well I guess this is the path God wants me on so I’m trusting it but I can’t say I’m not depressed or have high anxiety . Q
Well you can celebrate with parents atleast
I turned 35 this summer. I had no girlfriends to hangout with either. I wish you a Happy Birthday 🎊 and may God bless us with beautiful, kind and loving friends. I pray you find the happiness you seek. God bless.
I don’t have friends because I think nobody can stand me. I’m very emotional and proud at the same time. My communication is awkward and I think I’m too much, especially when I’m not feeling well. My self needs a lot of maintained and it’s exhausting.
Thank you for the video, it’s nice to hear other people’s opinion on the matter.
I wish the best to everyone.
Keep believing and connecting with your self.
Speak Life ... I Am Awesome. I Am Confident Etc ... And Pray & Fast ❣️ Depression Is A Wicked Spirit. Matthew 17:21
I don’t have any friends too and I am gonna stay friends with my friend With Jerry Rosado forever?
🙏❤ A frenemy is not thoughtful. It will always be about themselves. I once had a frenemy who never once said, "Oh come, lemme see where you are staying.. How's the acting going? I watched all of your shows. I watched 'Ugly Betty'; hoping that I'll see you in a scene. I'm so proud of you". None of that. -Fumi Desalu Vold
I am like that too. I feel like a marshmallow with a hard protective. is this what you mean?
Holy shit never read a sentence that summed me up this well ! ...
Having social anxiety and wanting friends is like a no win situation.
Fr it's a paradox...
There's always hope don't let the mind lie to you which it loves to do go out there and talk to people and embrace the anxiety and as you practice you'll get better
Kishawna clouds Thats true. Thanks
I know what u mean.
That sounds like a very you-based issue. That's a very fixable problem
Its sucks, because when you think about how you came to be an adult without a single friend... makes you wonder if you’re truly an unlikable person.
damn.
It makes you wonder that, unless you learned it from a young age and lived your life like that constantly making jokes just to lie to yourself and say your fine when your not, and imagining friends and lying to yourself saying they are there when they are not, giving your self a reason to take care of yourself and saying "I'm here to help OTHERS. I don't matter" and in the end you hear the same words every day and when your old your just glad. Your just glad you stayed the whole way through your life despite all the pain you had to go through for nothing. You may be glad, or just lying to yourself again.
Haha! Whoah there! Went all serious didn't I? Lol. That almost never happens well imma be quiet now! Ty for reading this random person! Have a nice day! :)
Well fuck. This hit me like a truck.
To be honest a lot of people I know don’t have friends out of high school and everyone just goes to do their own thing once they graduate so idk it may be a mixed bag if you not having friends and people just growing and and growing apart from each other
I always ask myself this question but I don't think so because I'm always the one adjusting to the other person, i make effort to make them laugh and do stuff for them to appreciate me but when I'm the one sharing something or needs help they dismiss it. Like idk why? Maybe I'm just with the wrong people idk
I’m 22 and I don’t know where things went for me . I used to be the guy people wanted to be around and now it just seems like I’m invisible. It’s hard to keep hopes up when nobody is around to even hear you out , or give input on what you say / think. Being your own friend can truly do damage to someone.
Well since you’re gender change it’s been difficult for us to except x
Aye im 22 and the only child which is sadly taking online classes becuase the inclassroom reached full capacity. I feel alone everyday no siblings no friends just me and my thoughts and it sucks cuz only you feel how you feel. Because your the only child.
Same
What went wrong?
I'll never forget how my friends dumped me when I was struggling with an eating disorder. I live in a country where eating disorders are still not understood. So I don't really blame them. Maybe if I was in their place I'd do the same. But I'll never forget how excruciatingly, painfully alone I felt.
I guess I have “friends”...but I don’t exactly talk or hang out with them. Just people I know.
Same
Felt. After school know one talks to me
@@fckurmom2275 my friends hardly speak to me its been 3 months, lockdown , they have a groupchat and I am not in it
@@officialbismah damn man hope it gets better
Yeah,me too
My friends are my cellphone, internet , laptop and foods
Same
My friends are my book and my pen
my friend is cocaine
my friends are my
-laptop
- fictional game charas
-music
-my stuffed toys
-games
My friends are my dog, my tv and my phone.
When u see ur friend going to other people's houses but doesn't invite me over or anything it hurts
i felt this comment.
my friends were free yesterday when we decided to go watch a movie together. when one of them called and said she had some urgent chores to do. so they all rescheduled to the next day, when i had plans.
they were ready to change their schedules and go through extra hassle to include her but didn't even care when i was left out.
so i went and watched the movie alone.
and they would all go together today.🙂
I've never had friends my entire life. Not in elementary, middle, or high school. Not after school. And now in my later life I feel more alone than ever. But nobody cares. No matter how hard I try I'm always the rejected one.
I feel sorry for you
@@rahatmiah4294 nothing I can do but accept fate.
dw, u r young, keep pushing, maybe embrace your lonliness, I am in the exact same boat, but I am 16...
all i do is sit at home because i genuinely don’t have any friends i’ve tried but no one wants to hang out with me
Wanna be friends dude I’m kinda depressed and no one wants to hang out with me :/
Hey let's be friends
Antonia Halliwell okay 🥺 what’s ur insta?
Kakuzu okay :)
@@francescathornell7297 mike72oxlong
Who else read most of the comments and was like "oh at least I'm not the only with 0 friends"
🙋🙋🙋
Whenever I feel this loneliness, I tell myself I'm not alone, there are others who are struggling like I'm. Sometimes I wish we all could just get connected somehow ❤
Meeeee
Me too 😶🙃
Me
Reading the comments with tears in my eyes as I feel like I can relate to so many. I use to have friends now I only get messages or calls from my mum on Xmas or birthdays
I cried the whole time watching this. I have never been true to myself, I always envy people with a lot of friends and I wish I were in their shoes sometimes. Sure I have few friends online but I can't connect with them in everyday life/real life. I always thought that I'm better off being a loner, but I can't even call myself a loner because I'm desperate of having friends inrl. I'm always taken for granted whenever I hang out with my classmates; all of them always seem to enjoy each other's company but except me, they would leave me out all the time.
I'm the same I have like 12 bestfriends online but not at school😢
Why all lonely ppl can"t meet eatch other and be friends
Because it’s not as easy as that you have to have the same interests
cuz those lonely people can't open up themselves to others
Yeah:(
Right
too scared to meet. too scared to share. betrayal changes you.
the worst part is that people think you’re joking when you say you have no friends
exactly
Yeah that's true
I just say that I do have them
@@greenmurukatv7185 shut up
I experience
I started pushing all my friends away when i was diagnosed with a chronic illness. I was embarrassed to be around my friends because of my new limitations. I know now, I don't have friends because of my own actions. If you keep pushing people away due to anxiety and depression please tread carefully. Now I'm 36 and I couldn't even tell you the last time I did something with a friend. I have no one and it's absolutely heart breaking.
The problem is when I try to make friends with someone, they don't really care to put any effort back into making a friendship. Ppl act like they wanna be friends, but when I ask someone if they'd wanna hangout or go do something, I always get rejected. Or blown off. Like I don't matter. And clearly I don't. Idk if there's just so many ppl that are just scared of making new friendships, or if there's something legitimately wrong with me that ppl don't like. Idk. It feels like ppl are just fake with me no matter how genuine I am with them. I have literally no family either. No siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins. Literally no one cares about me. No matter how much I truly do care about myself...no one outside of me, cares at all. Which makes me feel worthless. Although I know I'm not, not having anyone in my life makes me feel that way. Idk how not to feel like this. Not even a therapist can help me. I've tried. I get nowhere. With no answers. I'm deprived of love. I don't even know what "love" is anymore. Relationship, or platonic. Love=fear for me at this point in my life. I'm 38. 😔
I feel like I'm always the one trying to keep friends. I make the calls, I set up plans....nobody hits me up or cares about what's going on in my life. Nobody cares to spend time with me. It hurts feeling like if I didn't hit people up I'd be utterly and completely alone. I feel like I'm just forcing myself onto others, and they just respond to be polite.
Sorry you went through that i feel the same way you do. Are you ok just checking in. I will be your friend hit me up anytime. Jenelle
There's friends. Co workers. School friends. Work friends. Yeah everyone is really lonely unless the stigma dies.
Dam, I felt that deep in my chest.
Exactly how I feel
I feel the same way, can we be friend
Friends takes years to develop, otherwise they are all just acquaintances.
Exactly
So true. 👌💯
True, I spent over 4 years of my life on a friend that I believed in. Then one day I introduced them to another person. After 6 months they dropped me. Then I went threw a phase we’re I thought I was toxic. Now I’m in the phase where I’m realizing that I’m not the toxic one in the friendship.
True!!!
not true, I made a friend in a day at school :) she went on to be my friend for 2 years and then we got into a fight today and I dont know what to do
i feel like it really hits when ur a high school student, being around so many people ur age but not having one person
im in the same situation, its so exhausting😔
Same but i am an middle schooler .....
🙏❤ When somebody comes with snarck comment or they say or do one or two things that is uncalled for, know that that's a frenemy. I just moved out of the way and let her fly past and crash. Let your frenemies go before they drag you into their negativity and they distract you from being friends with bossbabes that love you; you love them; you love each other's families; you evolve; you grow together; she's the wind in your back; she's the sun ahead of you. And she really means the best for you. You have to get rid of a lot of people in your life. They're distractions that will distract you from your destiny, your ultimate goal. Throw them out. Don't respond to their accusations. They're not worthy of your golden time.
You build your brands; your careers, (your husband, your children). Be happy. Evolve to be this positive wonderful person. Don't let negativity in your life. I have seen it a couple of times. It happened to me. There are no regrets; only experiences. -Fumi Desalu Vold
@@audreyheart2180i aint reading all that
@@audreyheart2180 SHUT UP
The worst part is having friends but yet you still feel lonely.
This quarantine made me realize that no gives a shit about me. I always had a conversation with someone at school all the time but now when there is no school it made me realize they just talked to me as a pastime. Im beginning to look at things in a negative point of view..
Same man
Good, there is no such thing as a true "Friend" or "Friends" anyways, "Friends" are bullshit, a waste of time, distractions.
Instead taking them as friends, I only took them as "Momentary partners" because that is just how it is.
Same
Same bro
That happens to a lot of people after school including me dude you’re not alone atleast
Acting like you have friends but deep inside you know that you don't fit in, is the worst feeling ever and it hurts like hell.
Hey man I wonder how you're doing, Wish the best outcomes for you!! I never had someone explain that feeling so well
I feel the same way:(
Same:(
Michael Bulson I would like to
I was going trough this phase
the worst feeling is knowing you’re genuinely trying but still see no improvements
Hi can we be friends
Some of us don't want friends. Not because we don't believe we deserve them, not because we don't have opportunity...but simply we choose not to surround ourselves with people! When I was younger, I liked being social. Now people just get on my nerves, are full of drama, and have their own issues! No; not all of us are lonely...and many of us prefer our solitude! And are quite happy!
For those who need friends and people around them; you're the only obstacle and you make your own choices! Want friends? Go make them!
All my "friends" are intermittent. They talk to me, but on their own terms. They just completely ignore me otherwise.
I get that, I do that to people and my friends do that to me but we all do our own things and have different paths we're taking and don't live so close to each other anymore.
Have you tried being the one to start the party or be the one who is, say, going for a hike in the mountains and invites them along?
My friend mentioned to me in relation to what you are saying and it's a similar response I gave. Really clears the air if you guys were initially close and life gets in the middle right?
But as you put the word friends in quotations, you yourself may know the answer.
Hope all is well
Yes. Those are the friends I have. I might as well be alone
This hit too close to home
U need to keep boundaries..nd u are not with the ryt people
Ah shit! This hits right on the money :(
I’m 21 and have never felt so lonely. The emotional pain of not having even 1 friend to speak to is heartbreaking
Hey, message me
@@tom4412
I live in the UK too currently.
@@tom4412
No.
But one day I'm hoping to just leave, and not come back.. :/
Where would you go if you had the choice? I'm still 'currently' deciding.
@@tom4412
Thailand seems like a beautiful place, that's true. Yeah, why not? Exploring the world seems fun !
It's not that I detest this country, I just simply would like a 'New Beginning' (Or.. refresh?) somewhere else. Something new to look at just seems refreshing-
^ For your question, I've just found that I had certain experiences here that makes me want to just digress.
Plus, I wouldn't mind elaborating more if you'd like me to. It's cool to talk about these things =)
@@tom4412
That's my aim !
Yes, they'd certainly miss me too..
but-
Is it worth missing out on an adventure? ^^
I know i'm only 16 (Soon, going on 17), so I'm not sure whether I'll change my preference after a few lil' years..
Although, I've thought about this for a fairly long while now.
Right on point. I feel like I have nothing to offer others. I feel socially awkward. I’m so lonely and sad. Never thought I’d feel this way at 61 yrs old 😢.
I'm gonna be like you in 40 years
🙏❤ When somebody comes with snarck comment or they say or do one or two things that is uncalled for, know that that's a frenemy. I just moved out of the way and let her fly past and crash. Let your frenemies go before they drag you into their negativity and they distract you from being friends with bossbabes that love you; you love them; you love each other's families; you evolve; you grow together; she's the wind in your back; she's the sun ahead of you. And she really means the best for you. You have to get rid of a lot of people in your life. They're distractions that will distract you from your destiny, your ultimate goal. Throw them out. Don't respond to their accusations. They're not worthy of your golden time.
You build your brands; your careers, (your husband, your children). Be happy. Evolve to be this positive wonderful person. Don't let negativity in your life. I have seen it a couple of times. It happened to me. There are no regrets; only experiences. -Fumi Desalu Vold
I can relate. I'm 76 and have nothing!
yesterday our exams ended and everyone was out with their friends. I was at home just scrolling through my phone. No one texted me. The only one whom I call my best friend was also hanging out with her best friend. It just hurts so much. My parents are abusive. My mother just reminds me everyday that I’m not worth anything. “ the day you were born was the worst day of my life” these are the words that my mother told me on my birthday. I don’t even celebrate my birthday. It’s just so exhausting to live like this everyday.
I’m sorry :( life gets better as u grow up I promise, nothing stays the same so it’ll get better once u grow up and get to do what u want. I promise. ❤
I know how you feel
Having depression and no friends at the same time is excruciatingly painful
fax
Haha is 😭
I'm here an i care ❤
this was me a whole ago when pandemic started ... the depression kicks back in & u realise u had no real friends with u even if u stayed with your family but they just don't understand you..
True
all my friends ghosted me when i need them the most
Same here.
Same here
I dont call those friends. I call them leaves on the branch. If you need to talk I'm hear to listen I know that sounds corny but I'm a great listener and sometimes we need that even from people we dont know. I gave advice to a lady at grocery store, saw the elder again and she was grateful to have someone who can just listen and help. I want to be there for people. That's just who I am.
Yah my best friend called me a b**** today because of a stupid reason 😭
Misa Missa me too, I am hear to listen and share my experience
I came here to fix myself..to function more efficiently. But I keep walking away from people who dont respect my boundaries. You're right about the social snobbery though. Im sick of people not having the same standards.
I dont know of i should lower my standards. I feel like its not worth it.
“BUT I KEEP WALKING AWAY FROM PEOPLE WHO DON’T RESPECT MY BOUNDARIES” SAY THAT AGAIN FOR THE HOMIES IN THE BACK. FUUUCK. I don’t have friends in part because I cba to deal with that immaturity with some people man honestly…
I’m balling my eyes out. Thank you for making this video.
It’s harder to have and make friends as we get older. This is what I’m discovering.
Yes...
Yes very true
Yes
Agreed
Right.
I had no friends, because
- I wasn’t Friendly
- I was shy AF.
- I wasn’t smart.
- I wasn’t social.
- I never cared about having friends.
Now I can feel how lonely I am...
Same here...I feel you
You have yourself. That's the beginning to connect with others
You dont need to be smart to make friends
Just be yourself and more kinder and nicer
Same...
"You can offer something that nobody else can offer"
Great line ...and very true 👍
I have stopped offering anything, because people mostly get quickly tired of me, and immediately treat others way better.People mostly contact me only when they need something, or they act like I am bothering them.
I’m that ride or die best friend who would do anything and everything for you, but being the best friend is so hard when you don’t have one of your own
Damn I definitely feel that
Same. If I had a friend, or heck even a best friend I'd do the best I could to be a good friend. I would do anything for them. I don't have anybody though, I'm so lonely
@@Max-dr6rz
You got us on RUclips man we are people
same here
Kiara Rodriguez dude I need a friend like that :(
Shout out to the quiet non-drinkers of the group who love to see other quiet non-drinkers of the group enjoying the hangout!
So true! :)
Cute. Its hard to find non-drinkers as friends. And I'm quiet too.
I'm too picky. People want to be my friends, but I brush them off. That's the issue. I ignore people who I have no interest in. It's like being forced to love something you don't even like.
@@name-eo1lv I totally get that. And it's complex because sometimes I think"'I'll try to spend time with them and get to know them and see if I like them, because maybe I'm just not used to having friends anymore", but then it feels like you're just using the others, or you're not being genuine/sincere in the friendship, while the other person is.
I don't feel that much while I'm with friends but it's like that regarding dates. I try to like people who already like me and are nice to me, but I just can't make myself like them back and it feels really fake and that I'm just fooling the other person.
Anyway, I think the first step is just to realize we do that, right? Then we can begin to think why we do it.
Yeah. The rare times I've spent time either in a group or one-on-one with new people I spend much of it wondering why I'm there and just going through the motions. I've never had close friends (except for one lifelong online friendship). I tend to feel disinterested and bored with most people.
I make a deliberate effort to engage in the hope that maybe if I spend enough time with them and get to know them then I might start to feel some kind of interest or bond but I don't know. Normally people don't follow-through to give me a chance (I guess just not interested).
I spent about 7 years without friends because I thought I should be clear on what I want before wasting someone else's time...but I didn't figure it out so then I spent some years trying to meet new people and it just felt pointless like a waste of both of our time.
I'd love to be able to share a sense of humour with some people, enjoy similar activities, be able to trust they are reliable and will follow through on a meet or at least communicate if something urgent came up and they couldn't make it and reschedule. People don't seem to do that and I don't know why.
I've wondered if I'm boring, or too quiet or too self-deprecating, or something else. When I pretend to be happy and energetic and smiley and positive and do things to make people laugh people react well but they still don't want to hang out with me outside of the context of whichever setting I met them.
I never receive feedback on why not though, even if I ask for it. So I end up exactly where I began with no direction if there's something about me that I need to work on or if it was nothing to do with me. The consistent pattern seems to suggest its something about me though. People tell me I'm "nice" and "smart" and "generous" and so on...so why don't more people want to spend time with me? I've pretty much given up. No partner. No family. One close online-only friend that lives on the other side of the world to me. A few unavailable fringe friends that contact me or meet about once a year if I travel out to see them. Only one other isolate ever visits me and we don't get along great but neither of us has anyone else.
Sometimes I spend money on all kinds of stuff that I think future friends will enjoy or use or appreciate, but it ends up in storage for years waiting for me to have people in my life to share with. I know its illogical because I don't even know what these future people will even like or what their allergies or preferences or limitations are. I think sometimes I just have to pretend I have friends to share with to keep my sanity.
This made me sob man, I wish everyones Life is good, and to whoever who is going through this sadness, you will eventually get out, I promise.
The fact that I literally typed it to look for videos on this topic so may be watching a couple of them will make me feel better.
I fear hanging out with people because I'm afraid they'll find out how boring I am and therefore I isolate myself so no one really knows me...
Focus on building yourself to become an amazing person, get into hobbies have a passion build value in yourself to build up your confidence and when you realise your worth and believe in your worth you will never feel like you're boring because you know what you like.
Don't try to fit in, rise above the people around you and standout. If you believe you're boring from the perspective of majority if people. Keep pushing to stand out to where the minority notices you. If you yourself believe you are boring. Look inside yourself and find out what you want to become/ achieve to feel happy.
@c m Exactly! Me and my friends just make eachother laugh, give eachother a bit of advice, vent to eachother, stuff like that!
You don't need a passion, interesting hobbies or an amazing job to have friends! Sometimes it's enough to enjoy the little things, talk about current events etc
Don't be scared to hang out with people or to initiate conversation with someone you think is cool! I was like that for a while, I overthought everything, but everytime I pushed through the fear I felt better afterwards even if the person didn't end up having a relationship/friendship with me.
You just gotta start, if I hadn't pushed through that fear the past few years there would have been a lot of cool people I would have never met
I don't care if people like Me. I loos friends by telling them harsh truth they don't want to hear.
I feel the same😔
Yeah hobbies for me are the best thing to make people interesting, when someone it's passionate about a specific subject, you can feel the excitement and the expertise when they talk about it which it's really great, the only issue is if you wanna connect with someone that doesn't care or share the same hobbies as yourself xD
my "friends" only talk to me when they need something from me
They're fake friends leave them they don't deserve you
@@thelssjbroly9873 you cant do than you wouldn't have any at all
@@franciscosoares2815 yeah but I honestly don't care that much tbh
It seems like people in the comment sections are true friends to each other even though it seems like they barley know each other then in real life it's so diffrent...
Whoever's reading this please, stay determined and keep walking forwards and soon enough you'll reach your desired destination and on your way you will make real friends who will stay by your side thick and thin. :)
My friend only talk to me when she’s bored or doesn’t has anyone to talk to. But then she ignore me all the time
People enter your life in phases. Relationships are temporary. There is nothing wrong with not having friends unless you THINK there is something wrong with it. I realized a long time ago that as long as I act as my own best friend I dont need to rely on the coming and going of others for happiness. We are never alone as we are all connected to the other humans around us regardless if we can feel that or not in the present, to think otherwise is the illusion of our own egos. The path is to attempt to move past this illusion. We are not always aligned perfectly with others, and who said we should be? Depression, mental illness, lonliness etc.... it is all a direct opportunity to learn more about the inner workings of you. Scary? Hell yes, but This is a more fruitful approach to "happiness" than friends are able to provide. My opinion after 40 years of having "no friends" and years of depression..... seeking pleasure only gives me pain. So I learned to move with the waves.
Much love to all going through it! You are never alone 💮
I can't make any friends. At first it made me sad but now i accept it and i don't wanna be friends with someone anymore.
I felt this so much
I felt this a lot I haven't made any friends still since elementary now im in my 2nd term in Highschool still have no friends but looks like this might be my fate
I do have friends . But I feel like I have to give A LOT to have them. I’m now 30 and I have never met one friend who would do the same for me.
berry Then are they really your friends?
It takes a lot of effort to maintain a friendship. I experienced that too.
iam 30 to and unfortunately from few months i give up and start living alone trying to live with this.
I feel the same way. You are your best company, find a support group in your community and remember God loves you!
SAME EXACTLY and then I end up feeling so stressed by the friendship because I feel like I have to do so much to keep it but it’s def an inferiority complex thing
Some people really say "I have no friends" when I see them hanging out with someone almost every day and then here I am actually having no friends, not getting a single message from someone, and haven't gone out in more than 7 months with someone. After reading the comments I'm a bit happy that I'm not the only one struggling with the same thing. I wish everyone the best in trying to find a friend, I love y'all :)
@SkyLynx can I be your friend .
@SkyLynx thank you comment to me anytime
@SkyLynx not right now I use to be on intergramm a lot. I will open again soon I'll let you know 👍👍👍
ik it’s really annoying bc they say they have no friends... as they’re having a sleep over. also it makes me upset because when they get sad they actually have ppl to comfort them but for some ppl (like me) having to one to comfort you sucks
@@lukedainton6223 mate I suffer socal anxiety bad I wouldn't know how to walk up and ask ha can we be friends
Loved this video Scott.
Social reclusion does lead to depression, this video helped me realize it might be what is holding me down (for years now). I need friends:(
It is a tough conversation but I really needed to hear it. Much appreciated !
Your videos make me feel better ! It makes me feel like I’m not alone and other people also feel what I’m feeling and even reading the comments make me feel a lot better !
Saaaame ❤
I begged for friends and they said they are always there for me. But in reality they aren't. I have to text first they never text. They never call. They text but just one or two words max! This hurts so bad!
I hear you there. It sucks. But they really aren't friends if that happens all the time.
@@shadowstar1167 :(( basically i have no friends!
Give your number I'll text you😇👌
Thats the same thing for me and its just called toxic friends its hurts badly i know
@@SshivamKhopkar I have fake friends basically friends that say "I hate you" one day then the next day they say "we r best friends" it hurts and noone cares about me 😭.
I don’t have any friends. I just work a lot with my job, go running in the park alone, hike alone, read, play strategy games. That’s all I do.
Same haha
I just do stuff with my family and it always makes me feel pathetic when I think of everyone else, hanging out with their cliques/boyfriends etc. :/ It's so hard to get out of this
Same
I wish we met when we were young haha.... I would have have been there in all that cause that's exactly what I have been doing all alone XD
If you visit Pensacola Florida or want to visit, you will find a friend in me no matter how awkward, different you think you are
This literally choked me up, everything you said hit home with me❤
Fabulous Scott, such a kind and encouraging video.
I'm just quiet and like to be alone but seeing a group of people so happy, I get so angry and hurt because I used to have that but I lost it.
Dont worry im sure you will have good days ahead😊
Same
This exactly happened to me, every person i knew were my good friends started ghosting me and this really upsets me and now on snapchat i see people having a blast with other friends
same except I'm not sure I ever had that
Me too. Except i was never social and seeing a group of friends being happy hurts me inside. Im only social when i talk about irrelevent stuff like i used to do a few years ago
Loneliness is worse than depression. when you are depressed at least you have good friends and family to temporarily take your mind off it and you can enjoy the few moments of happiness being around them brings. When you are lonly you have nothing and no one
me rn i used to have friends while i had depression but now i'm literally lonley and have no one so i have depression and am lonley ahahah smh
Yes being lonely and depressed, god damn it makes depression worse for me
I'm not depressed yet but I'm very sad because of my loneliness :(
The two aren’t even comparable...not every one who is depressed has good friends and family as a support system. You’re comparing loneliness, something completely normal that every human will experience, and depression, a literal mental illness. You can not compare a state of being and a psychiatric disorder. Being lonely is horrible, but invalidating an entire mental illness is not it 😐
@@squidtitties4197 well said
"if you're ____ every group needs you" this part got me. thank you
Thanks for the video, you were completely right about how I felt with the first reason and have earned yourself a subscriber. I really needed to hear someone just tell me I deserved friends :)
The worst part for me is knowing that other people constantly hang out and talk to other people.
Most who do this are shallow basic thinking people.
Need someone to talk to? Let’s chat 🙌🏽
So what? Try to be happy for those persons who can hang all the time... Dont be jealous of that. Think about all the people who have way more pain than you, like people with chronic diseases. They would be jealous at you too.
I was i the past always jealous to people who were in love. I had enough friends but was never in love. I am happy now for the persons who are in love now even if i still never had a relationship and passing the age of 30 Almost. I will see if it ever comes and be happy for who i am.
@@rickybobby9840 Raaaiiidddeeerrrsss G
Steven Sullivan committed to excellence!
I am tired of wasting my time with shallow people.
Thats where I am at. Many friends I have are just that, shallow. Incurious, uncaring, and typically uninterested.
Ithaca Comments when you decide you deserve the friendship of kind, intelligent and thoughtful people, they will come into your life. Know this from experience.
@@marmadukescarlet7791 Oh thats interesting. Im usually of the persuasion that if we all got what we deserved none of us would like it. But Let me see if I understand your belief correctly, you tell me.
Any and all subjective beliefs determine what is objectively real independent of what you believe.
Is that what your saying right now?
Jay Kong not at all. It’s about knowing who you are and knowing what you have to offer and not being afraid to show it. Your people are out there but you’re not going to find them while you’re hiding your light under a bushel, so to speak.
@@marmadukescarlet7791 That really cleared up what you were saying. Thank you for that. Insightful no doubt.
The more work I've done on myself and past issues the more I find that I can easily talk to people.
Thank you for taking the time to make this video. Speaking from experience from someone with zero “ real friends “ meaning there is no one in my life who I see on a regular basis , there no one who I ever spend time with really or anything like that unfortunately. But listening to everything you had to say about this topic that a lot of us struggle with really helped me feel a little better. I think it’s important for someone in my situation to try their hardest to seek out any type of social situation where they can meet other and never be shy or anxious to approach someone introduce yourself , ask for their name , and then try to start a conversation by asking something about them. I think others are more accepting to someone approaching them when you are respectful and seem to be actually interested in talking to them and getting to know something about them or something they are interested in. I hope I can make some real friends soon.
Where are u from bro
only time i have a friend is when they need my help
Describes my so called “friends”
Same
Same
@@bb8219 be a hermit like me 😁 im happy , i actually enjoy my own company now , never did for many years, ive a big family but not one wants me,inc my only son and two grandkids, got one friend, he's my world.!
Me too
It hurts when u actually have friends, but they make u feel like you don’t. Then u add in overthinking, denial and anxiety. It makes u feel trapped with no way out.
Trapped
exactly how i feel, but i never know how to tell it to someone like my parents etc
I'm am the same and I will do anything to not be trapped
its what i am through rn , i cant with this stress every single day.
Same so I tell myself it's better to be alone than having friends who don't really care about you unless it's important things
This is the most logical and helpful discussion. Thank you
I don’t consider myself better or that I don’t have anything to offer. I’ve actually been a good friend to many. But when I need a friend , no one there. And I give of myself, but no one goes out of the way for me. That hurts, and it causes me to pull away.
Now I know I’m not alone, There’s millions of people like me.Lonely.
yeah it's quite comforting, that there are people like us
Pretty blue skies you are not alone
I want to be your friend I don't care not in the same room.
Would you guys be my friend ?. (:
Me too
But all these people i relate too are always in different country's idk why the best people have to be in a different country 😭😭😭
Whenever I’ve had a friend they eventually hurt me. I’m better alone.
I relate
Do you think you're better off alone? 🎵 Do you think you're better off alone? 🎵
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Please excuse me.
No one is better off alone. Everyone needs someone to lean on.
LEAN ON ME~
WHEN YOUR NOT STRONG~
Ill be your friend!~
Anyone know that song? Anyway....
Please don't give up! I know making friends is hard, it's hard for me to. But, if you could make true friends easily you would have a mountain of them, and since they would be so easy to get they wouldn't be worth as much as they are here. I know it's possible for everyone to make friends because I know everyone is a good person! I know you can do it! I haven't done it yet and I don't know if I ever will... But! If I give up now, I'm just guranteeing I won't make any friends! And I want to keep trying and I don't want to give up on anything ever! Or anyone. So... I know you can do it. Stay, determined and you will succeed. I know it!
Have a nice day. :)
Google lisa a romano
Then you will miss all the times your friends will do fun things with you. You have to have the negatives to appreciate the positives.
I had no idea how much I needed to hear this. Thank you.
Im a mid 30s single dad with full custody of my 5 year old. I recently realized I have no friends. I grew up in the city and the opiod epidemic destroyed my social circle.
The friends i do reach out to want nothing to do with me except for one who it feels like just takes pity on me.
He even told me recently he was at one of our friends houses that legit was my best friend in high schools. His apartment is like the hangout spot for a bunch of people we went to high school with that are still in a big friend group.
He told me there was like 5 of them watching sports there and he mentioned inviting me over and the guy was like “nope don’t invite him”.
I don’t know what I did, im one of the nicest people you could ever meet. I run into people at the ground store and other places around town and they all tell me “im going to so and sos house tonight he invited a bunch of us over”
I just feel like such a loser, my sons eventually gonna get older and ask why i have no friends and why we never get invited to cookouts or birthday parties or anything.
The custody battle with his mom and her mental health problems has taken such a toll on my mental health and I dont ever talk about it because i know nobody cares, but now that I realized I have no friends and nobody likes me it took whatever little dignity I have left.
Its so hard to try and make friends because i have my son 24/7. Like at work and the 1 or 2 social gatherings I get invited to a year, everyone talks about the vacation they just took or new bar they went to or sports events etc and i have nothing to add at all. His mom doesn’t work or contribute a dime so I don’t have any extra money to do anything.
Its just pushed me into a shell, even at work a few months ago we were standing around talking in a group at lunch time shooting the shit and i trued being more outgoing and said something about my son.
One of the guys whos like the “alpha” of the guys at work said “nobody gives a fuck about your son”. They all go out on Fridays after work and used to invite me, but for some reason once i got custody of my son they all turned their backs on me. People are just cruel.
Sadly the most quiet person has the most painful pasts usually and the darkest secrets, I'm not gonna try be selfish but I feel like that describes me well.
But that doesn't makes sense if I had a great childhood😂 I think I knew from the beginning that everyone is fake...
That is so true. My dad died not that long ago and I haven’t been the same since. Now I’m always quiet and I feel like my “friends” hangout with me less and less because I am such a boring person to be around.
This all happened just after I joined a new school so I still don’t have any good friendships and to be honest I don’t think I will.
I am such a loser and I want to fucking cry whenever I think about it. Everyone is always going to parties and drinking but when I only ever see my friends at school since no one ever want to meet up with me.
@@ivl6210 just take iniative. People will always like you for who you are if you also like them for how they are. (next love and self love yk, but they could still dislike you but some people do so what you trynna do against it
@@ivl6210 I also have nobody. Don’t be sad, you’re really worth it.
@@aaaserobehonest8174 wanna talk about it?
what hurts most is knowing there’s no one you can talk to with existement when you’re happy about something and that hurts as hell, it silently takes away that joy.
Don’t let your perception take away your joy 💗✨✨
Yeah, jealously.
Hey don't be sad.....i feel the same and many others also. It doesn't make us less likeable. We just have another path to go.....cheer up. Better times will come for sure :)
Can we be friends I need to talk to someone
@@user-of6ou9ds6i of course we can
This video means a lot to me. Thank you so much 🙏🏻❤️
loved how you explained “fringe friends” ALL of my “friends” are just how you said, show up to the bachelor party but not the wedding.
yup!! Glad you could relate to that ahaha. We need more people ON THE GREEN with us
I've only ever had probably 3-4 TRUE friends my entire life (dosent matter how long of friendship) but all the other people I considered friends were "fringe friends"
You'll know if you have any friends when you get divorced. The mofos told me to leave my only friend, even though it was toxic, and when I finally divorced him, I was all alone. No wonder we stay in abusive relationships. If he's all I have, what's the point in leaving.
Fringe friends don’t go to either.
I hate having no friends, it’s so boring ! But the worse part is having no one to talk to :(
Update: since this comment has received a large amount of likes and comments of people who can relate, I’ve thought of an idea that some of you may like. We could make a group chat on either snapchat or Instagram where people could interact with other people who are in the same situation and talk about whatever. I know times are tough in the world right now so I feel like this could be helpful to people if anyone is struggling. I don’t know if this will actually happen but this was just an idea I’ve hat at 4 am reading comments lol... anyways leave your usernames down below and I’ll try add people to a group or something or just talk with you if you like.
Stay safe and have a great day
robbie 123 I’m here man. This is my Snap: luis.angelggusd. I’m in California
Luis Garcia thank you a lot man I will add you :)
I felt that☹️
That’s the worst part
If you have Self-Love you don't need one. Also if you really want friends then Self-Love really boostes your Confidence to approach others. But when you start having Self-Love you will notice that you don't really need friends and you will realise that most people you want to hangout are Really toxic and will Just affect you negatively
Anyone else have people who say they’re your friends but in reality they never text first, call first, want to hang out. Yet you see them out with other people? Yea that’s me, always doing everything solo.
The best thing i like about this video is that you have told us the lesson we would discover maybe too many years later (as a 22 yo girl) because all what you said is true for me ( i think I don't offer any thing and people won't appreciate me and i think i am better than everyone else). İt's My first time on this channel and i Loved it from the first video because it speaks to me . Thank you from all my heart ❤
Had a couple good friends and realized I was always the one to contact them first. One day I decided to let one of them hit me up first. Lol and they never did
Same
Do you wana be friends?
Same
Me ,, a million times ! I let those people go AND this includes family that don't make any effort ...EVER !
Same.
i hate waking up everyday with 0 notifications, no one wants me and i just scream with sadness
Wanna be my friend
@@TanishaaRawat yes
HAVE A NOTIFACTION!
Sorry. I had to.
Um.
Everything will be okay.
You already made one friend here and your bound to make more!
Your both amazing people and have a nice day! :)
let's be friends then snap: jacobsweet64
What abt yr parents??
They don't want u?
I’m 42 and have one close friend but making other friends is so hard. I’ve tried hanging out with friends after work but they seem superficial. I thought I had made a friend at work but there’s something missing that’s stopping us becoming close friends. It my day off work today and it would be really nice just to meet someone for a coffee. I can think of nobody to call. My bestie lives in another city. Everyone is too busy.
I am 15 and I can relate to that. I have one close friend right now, I have other people but they seem superficial. I text first and they give me blunt responses. But this is all new to me, it has been like this for 2 weeks and I don’t know why. My dating life is dying rn, girl I was talking to doesn’t want to talk anymore. Why is all of this happening in two weeks? What happened?
@@rico_fan2396sorry to hear that. Maybe we should create a chanel
This was a really great video. Thank you so much for sharing it. That's second point was A major gut-punch because I've been told that before.
It's worse to have friends that consume your energy every single day, friends that make you feel lonelier than if you had none.
Easy to say as a person that has friends. To be isolated every single day is fucking draining
@@mildchaos6037 it depends on the kind of relationship you have with yourself. I never get bored of speaking to myself.
@@hej7397 People come and go, sir. If you lost those friends, or doesn't mean you won't find others. The only issue here is you, unfortunately. The kind of vibration we're in is transferred to the ones around us without us even knowing it. You're not alone. People often have their spiritual awakenings during awful times. There's always hope. * sending virtual hug *
Facts. I ended a friendship a while ago, it wasn’t easy because I knew I’d really have no one now... Which is kind of dumb of me to think. This friendship had more cons than pros so I ended up finally getting the courage to get out of it. I feel like I have freedom now but I still yearn for true friends. The first step is getting rid of the fake friends to find true friends
Not your friends then
Not having friends kept me out of a lot of trouble.
I like this mind set!
That's something i can never do....
For instance?
There's a good mind! Most of my friends now have their own ideologies and pursuits. You will lose some friends or be less close as a result. It's okay. Do you. Your friends will show up as you're moving forward in life bettering yourself.
@@iliveinsideyourhouse3943 for me the friends I broke away from just weren't serious about school and life at the time. They didn't get into much trouble as such but I ended up being a top student at my school, playing for the first team hockey side and playing gigs and performing. To date I have the highest qualification in the group. Not saying my life is better than theirs, but you get to find yourself in solitude. Some of these friends now are doing better than me but still have issues that seem so trivial to me like desperately wanting to have the the hottest girlfriend, making more money than someone we went to school with and being overly cut up about things not going well for them in relationships that were just not good to begin with. I guess I've become stoic, but I definitely don't want to share in all that. I don't think like that. Gratitude is paramount for me and anyone that cannot embrace that first just puts me off.
There is a thick line between friends and acquaintances. The day I failed 11th grade, I lost all my friends that I had known for 8 years. In college, I decided to make new friends, remodeled my personality, and the whole college has begun to recognize me for who I am. In spite of this, I experience a paradox in friendship. In the course of your relationship with them, you will grow close to them, and become attached, assuming they feel the same for you but in reality, they are close to their previous friends regardless of how much you helped them in their difficult times. They tend to prefer old friends to you. Those like me who have always been abandoned by family and friends have a difficult time coping with this situation.
Now that I have moved to another country, I have observed and experienced a new level of mind games being played by my friends here. There is nothing more painful than trying to make cherished bonds and memories only to discover that everyone is secretly competing when there is no competition.
I was crying through out this video. Thank you for sharing this.
Do you recommend I watch it
Honestly, I just don’t know how to be around others. Everytime Im having a convo I think, “okay what do I need to say, or how do I need to be in this moment for this person to accept me”
Same here😪
Me too, I can’t help but try to act like how I think people want me to.
Lacks of social skills
same here honestly, it’s terrifying being myself around others
I live inside your house in other words, being fake
Real friendships are hard to find. I’ve had “friends “ who ended up to be what’s called “fair weather friends”. They’re around as long as it serves them and then they ghost you or stab you in the back. I also had a “friend” who thought it would be funny to humiliate me in front of other people, I don’t need that in my life.
Same here......for my money...not my problems
True. Who cares if u don’t have “friends” at least you know ur worth
There comes a time in your life when you realise who matters , who doesn’t , who never did and who always will . After a while you learn the difference between holding hands and falling in love ......... People come into your life at the right time for the right reason 🙏
I am sorry this happened to you. It has happened to me too. It's devastating.
Same here,i,m searching for friends that are loyal,kind, understanding, real...but sadly that kind of people are 1 in a million!😟
Really thankful to you Scott for making such videos. It helped me alot :)
i make friends multiple times and they all always ended up leaving me, everytime anyone do that i just wondered whats so bad abt me that makes everyone wanna leave