Struggles In Marriage
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- Опубликовано: 6 дек 2020
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Hello beautiful friends! In today's vlog I am sharing of our struggles in marriage. Followed by some musical theatrics and fun content in-between the serious stuff.
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Развлечения
I’ve been married for a year & a half (I’m 22 and my husband is 24 for reference) and I read on a blog somewhere that we aren’t trusting our husband’s guidance by submitting to his leadership- we are trusting GOD’S GUIDANCE OVER OUR HUSBAND. Such a powerful perspective!
I really don’t understand this. Why wouldn’t God give you guidance as well? As in, why wouldn’t God guide the two of you as equals? Why would God need to run everything through your husband? This honestly sounds like the jargon of patriarchy.
@@mortviolette284 Or it's in the Bible.
MortViolette I see where you are coming from and I used to get frustrated when church going people would put so much emphasis on the husband leading the wife but this is located in the bible! Obviously the bible also mentions that in order for this to happen you need to have a good husband by your side! You’ll understand this once you have a good man by your side that it’s not about him being in control of you but rather you’ll like this BECAUSE he is a good leader, man of God, that leads his family in the right steps! Just need the right man for this to make sense 😊
@@mortviolette284 hey girly! So in Christianity we do believe that God gives us as women personal guidance as well! For example, I am way better with money than my husband, so I manage all of our finances. But when my husband has something on his heart, I choose to trust his guidance on big decisions because I know he is being lead by God ( just as my husband trusts my ideas and thoughts too for the same reason! ) I hope this helps!
Amen
“You’ll never be too much for the right person”
Love this🥰
😂😂 I can testify
Hi Kian, could you talk about navigating merging your finances after getting married? I feel like this would be a helpful video :)
But also, how did you manage your finances while still being engaged!!! Did you keep it totally separate or did y’all start merging before marriage. I’m navigating this with my fiancé and it’s been hard.
My parents recommended not combining until after you’re married and the vows are said. My fiancé and I are working on communicating about budgeting and discussing before big purchases. Like car repairs I have to do (ugh). So basically instead of legally combining finances, we work on transitioning our mentality of handling finances as individuals to thinking as an unit. If that makes sense.
@@Elise_Hunter but is helping each other financially allowed, say you can’t afford your car repairs? Or should you not depend on the other person financially at all until marriage - instead you’d go to a parent for that?
@@mrsallisonturcios my husband and I kept it reasonable but there were times I didn't have enough to cover my groceries or such and he'd pay for it. It wasn't that I was broke, I just forgot to transfer money from my savings because at that time I only kept like $50 in my checking account and the rest in savings for some reason. I would then pay for our next meal or something. We just looked out for each other. But I will say, once we got married we used my money to pay off my wedding ring because he was the broke one and I was the saver 😅 only down side to merging, his debts became mine (although thankfully it was only that one debt).
@@mrsallisonturcios If parents can help out, I would go to my parents first. After that I would probably get a small loan. Maybe put the expense on credit or a payment plan? A fiancé implies the promise of marriage. So I see asking my fiancé for financial help as asking a good friend for financial help. Which I would likely not do. Until we’re yoked in marriage I believe financial independence is an important part of a person’s overall growth.
I’ve never understood why people get mad about sponsorships. Like this is your job. Of course you’re going to make money if you can. I guess I trust the people that I follow, and know that they wouldn’t take sponsorships they don’t believe in but man people get so mad at youtubers for making money at their job??
And her voice even talking about her sponsors is so relaxing 😂😂😂
Totally agree with Allison. Making good quality videos requires a substantial amount of time, effort and before we forget, some reliable IT/video/audio equipment.
i think you can 100% tell which youtubers are genuine with their sponsorships and which ones just take every single sponsorship out of greed and kian definitely seems soo genuine so i will watch her sponsored videos period. lol
Aw thank you all so much 🥰🥰 this makes me feel so much better. Appreciate you all!
@@Kian_Wolfgang love you and all your content including the parts with sponsors ❤❤ you're trustworthy when it comes to reviews and we appreciate it a lot
Kian, I so appreciate how open you are about your relationship with Kyle! I find that listening to people who only talk about the good parts of their relationship makes me feel really insecure. So I appreciate the realness!
As someone who has chose to share their relationship with my audience I do believe it’s my responsibility to show all parts of our marriage. 💛 the bad parts are beautiful!
ruclips.net/video/7O2yN9iGutw/видео.html
Love is a choice! Hope you like this :)
Hey Kian, I am divorced and one piece of advice I wish I had followed sooner was going to counseling. Counseling is SO beneficial no matter your marital state. My thought is if there is one problem that keeps coming up and doesn’t get solved in the marriage between the couple, than counseling is a good idea! Blessings to you both. ❤️
Yes I love my counseling!
One great reminder I heard while back was that after marrying the person God has for you there is going to be a period in time where the enemy does absolutely everything he can to break up this union. He will use you to hurt and disrespect God. The enemy has studied you so he knows what strings to pull to get you upset and annoyed at each other. But it is hes scheme against God. Do not let the enemy use you and never forget who united you in the first place. You are on the same side. Keep surrendering to God as you have been made one in His eyes.
And the best part about this is that the enemy loses. He'll get tired eventually when he realizes that it's not working. In the meanwhile do not let him get his wicked ways. Use the armor of God.
wow this is so truthfull words spoken i needed to hear this ty thank God!!
is there a part in the video this was referring to ?
@@lovesalt8613 Hallelujah! ❤️❤️ I felt in my spirit to write this reminder about the time period all together so it didn’t come from any particular part of the video. Just a general advice not to forget who you are and who you belong to. And who it is we fight against. Also this might serve as a good reminder for those who might find this video because of the headline :) God bless you ❤️🌸
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Blessings
I completely understand that you need alone time !! That’s one of the reasons I’m not rushing God’s plan with marriage 😅 I get giddy when I think abt spending an evening alone just doing my own thing with no interruptions :))
Yes girl!! Enjoy it 🥰🥰
I love how open you are with your marriage struggles, it’s uplifting to see you talking about it, and helpful.
I really felt that musical number.
😭😭😂 the performance of my lifetime
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Kian, I find myself relating a lot to you. I'm not even married but I know I have similar issues. Surrendering is hard but so worth it. Bless you, Kian.
Would HIGHLY recommend the book “Why Is She Smiling: Unexpected Joy Discovered by a Most Unlikely Submissive Wife” the author Amy Williams does such a great job explaining what it means to be submissive biblically. It’s a short read too. ☺️ Love your honesty girl!
Book looks great! Thank you!
@@Grace8381 of course!
Thanks for the suggestion! Definitely going to read it!
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Girl, I don't mind your sponsorships. I'm happy to see God bless and expand your channel. Love from South Africa :)
@Xilombe Mkhari yes "fellow South Africans" haha
Thank you 🙏🏼💛 god bless you!
Aaaah love to see South Africans here.... Lets all be friends 😂😊
Its interesting how you struggle with your dominance. It reminds me of Genesis 3 how "the fall" mentions how God tells Eve that a woman's desire will be contrary to your husband and will cause conflict. Shows so much of humans nature.
Keep praying girl!
that’s exactly what it is! Good call!
Dang I never read that scripture! But yes I think today’s society breeds very independent and dominating women. I think also being hurt and taken advantage of by men in my past has also made control more appealing. But now that I’m married MAN do I wish I could change it 😅😅
@@Kian_Wolfgang Sister, you will fight this your whole life. I know I do.Prayers.
Then he said to the woman, “I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth. And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you. ”
Genesis 3:16 NLT
bible.com/bible/116/gen.3.16.NLT
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Blessings
Love the way you worded those scriptures.
congrats on youtube being your full time job! that's a huge accomplishment, I pray that God continues to bless you on this channel! So glad I get to support you & Kyle just by watching :)
Loved seeing your silly side in this video 😄 Thanks for being real with us and for sharing your struggles and what you’re learning! You are such a light for Christ and an encouragement!
When you were laying there with a cookie and talking about moodiness even tho your period isnt coming; I relate 😂
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I can relate 💯 with you! I’m a newly wed to And we both work from home. I looove waking up be alone and I love having me time. Individuality is so important! Love your content btw!
Thank you for opening up. It's so helpful because we realise that we aren't the only ones who have certain problems. You sharing also gives us ideas on how we can deal with some issues. Thank you again
Honestly what a mood. Thanks Kian, that was fun!😊
Thank you for being so open and honest. That honestly means a lot
I love and appreciate your vulnerability in all this 💓
Ohhh myyyy the singing and dancing part had me dying🤣🤣🤣 love your authenticity soooo much!!❤💕
I'd definitely pray and surrender your independency, stubbornness, and pride to God, because in reality, God wants to hang out with us all the time. But your making the biggest step by acknowledging it!
Good point, I do think it’s different because He is God though! God created some people more introverted. But yes I’m sure she is doing that and God will keep helping them grow together as a couple! I’m sure marriage is a difficult transition when you’re a really independent person! :)
Cs lewis in screwtape says that its a delusion that we have about the time in our day belonging to us. It belongs to God and to serve others. Getting alone time is important but we are not necessarily entitled to that you know ,?
Yes asking God to help me everyday 🙏🏼🙏🏼
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I am so happy to see you, thank you for making this video
Love you Kian!
I just found your channel and I am so excited. I have been watching your videos and learning so much! Thank you for your wise words :)
Congrats girlie!!! We love to see it 😍
Love the outakes. God bless u sis.
9:55 🎶 are you weird I'M WEIRD are you weird I'M WEIRD ... oh wow 🎶 😂
I’ve been watching a lot of your old sit down videos!! I really appreciated and loved the sit down part of this video🥰 (also love vlogs!! Just also really like sit down advice videos too)
Definitely wanna film more sit down videos now that life isnt as crazy
Love your videos and don’t mind at all you doing sponsorships!! I am so grateful to be able to watch your videos for free and I’m glad you can make an income from doing what you love. I’m here for all your videos 💛
Thank you for sharing this video! I love your hair curled like the btw. It's super cute on you
I think talking about these struggles is so important in showing people the real meaning of marriage. Although it's so hard to join lives with another person, listening to you talk about it all really demonstrates the change in character that God intends for marriage. It's meant to bring everything out in the open, lay everything on the table and improve your character in ways that further the kingdom of God. Your marriage is so lovely and I love that you use this space to share it with others.
So good!! Thanks for sharing 💛 love the way you put it
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Good day Tahlia Smith,So true sis,Can we connect?Feel free to head on over to my RUclips channel and subscribe as I share the love of Christ through songs,prayers etc.
love the outtakes 😂🤍
You are killing it with the sponsorships! Don’t worry we still love and support you and know you wouldn’t share something you didn’t like! This is your income you gotta do it!
Agreed!
Excited for Hawaii. GOD is GOOD❤️🙏
I seriously love you, you’re a MOOD in those outtakes 😹❤️
Haha the portion of the video of you singing and just being silly and having fun, I've never found a RUclips clip more relatable in my life lol!!! Thanks for being silly with us:)
I’m not even married and living at home with family is for sure the same struggle!! I’m grateful in many ways to not be alone but other times I just wanna be alone in the house completely. Thankfully I have my own room which is such a blessing.
When the vlog turned into a musical...I have never felt more seen 🤣🤪👏👏👏
hey kian! in the future could you do a video on bible study and how to start? i’ve been wanting to start journaling but don’t really know where to start. love the channel💕
Thank you for talking about this stuff, it really is so helpful and good to know I’m not the only one who struggles with certain things in marriage as a newlywed! ♥️
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About 2.5 weeks married and just wanna say I appreciate your realness in sharing about your marriage so honestly, it's refreshing and inspiring :)
I didn't think anything could be funnier than the singing bit in the middle of the video but the outakes did it ahahah!!! When you said everyone take a breath I did and it was actually very nice. Also I think your nails look super nice still! I love the slightly longer look on you!
Love your hair like that so cute!!!
Kian I love your home soo much it’s soo cute!! 🤎🤎 loving these vlogs with your goofy self lol
Loveeee that you do young living 😍😍😍 it honestly is the best and I just found out about the power of oils just a few months ago!!
Oh my goodness!! I was JUST talking with my small group on how I am prideful on thinking my way is best while preparing for marriage. Jesus is confirming that I need to give these things to Him!
Marriage definitely highlighted all of my sinful nature and areas that I didn’t even know I needed to work on. I was very much like you, very independent and I moved to a new city where my husband was working right when we got married so I was pulled away from all my friends and our family which was so hard. I went from living with 5 girls through church to living with a boy. It was a tough transition. No matter what though, with God’s help and willingness to lay yourself down, it does get so much better with time. We have been married for 8 years and have two kids and a beautiful life. Also my husband is SO much better with finances and budgeting than I am. We paid our first house off already and solely by me following his lead. You got this girl ❤️
That's encouraging. Ive been married about a year in a half and its been a very tough journey on some days. Some day can be good but other days I feel so exhausted emotional spiritually that it drags me down physically too.
This actually made me laugh so much! 😂 I needed this today - thank you 🙏🏾
9:30-10 is literally my last two brain cells trying to get through finals week. Thank you for that out of body experience.
I can really relate to the alone time feeling and wanting more alone time! I’m not married yet, but my relationship is heading there with God in the center. I love him so much! I pray that God helps me in that area!
Singin' Kian is the cutest Kian ❤❤❤❤😊😊😊😊
I love your big lounging cookie sweater...I think I need one of those snuggle jackets to eat my cookies on the couch too! 💗. Good to see you letting off some steam mid vlog lol. 💗
Kian, your humor is my favoriteeeee
Wait, I legit thought I was the only one this crazy and eccentric when by myself 😂 Love you so much for showing us this!
NO WAY! I've been struggling with my bible reading and randomly picked up and started reading Proverbs at the end of novemeber and I had a thought to read one chapter everyday in december and i checked how many chapters there were and when i saw there were 31 i was like yup this is meant to be. Now im 9 days in and just watched this video and oh my goodness i cant believe you are doing it too! I've never heard anyone talk about it or do it before
Your honesty is so refreshing, because God does work in us through our struggles, and we learn new things about ourselves. It's humbling, It's growth, It's sanctificationnn ❤❤❤
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Where is your outfit from😍? 😂😂 I literally do the same things when I’m home alone!!💖 thanks for showing us this side of you
Glad I’m not alone 😂😂 both my bottoms & top are from mark & spencer!
My husband and I also struggled with boundaries around alone time. We’ve been married for six months now and it has gotten so much better just realizing we don’t need to be with each other 24/7. Its so healthy to have hobbies and friends outside of one another! It just takes honest communication between the both of us. It’s also been hard because we don’t know many other couples that are married AND Christian. It can often feel like we’re alone in how hard it can be and how much work being in a Godly marriage is.
Wow,with Christ in the vessel nothing is too big of a situation that he can't handle.Have faith sis and pray more over your family and marriage as well as pray for other marriages out there,this helps and strengthens you too.Fee free to head on over to my RUclips channel as I grow more in God.
Yess I love Young Living 🙌🏻 my favorite products are the toothpaste, mouthwash, Ninxja, mascara and so much more!!
Super relieved I'm not the only one who sings random thoughts when I'm alone! 😂
Girllllll i can completely relate with your guys struggles right now. I tend to he very independent before marriage ajd now that we're married, I tend to shut him down real fast. But Nick also doesn't pursue the conversation even when it gets tough.
But it gets smoother, I won't say easier BUT it gets smoother to go through especially when we put Jesus first in oir lives. One of my mentors reminded me that our marriage is our ministry God has called us to and I have vowed to Jesus that I will do my absolute best to steward it well.
I love that you also love YL! They get crap for being an MLM but a lot of their products are so good 👏🏻 my favorites are peace & calming, lavender, thieves cleaner, and their CBD muscle rub.
Thank you for always being so real Kian ❤️
Did anyone else take a deep breath with her during the outtakes? 😂
I did hehe ☺️
You are a strong Gal..
I'm 54 now & have seen many things..I see that u are so capable. Kyle needs to come to the plate on all of what you both are doing for your combined goal together.
I respect his strength and love of Faith and Leadership and your Independence but don't fall short of your ability to add your opinions and not feel that he always needs to be the decision maker.
I think u should evaluate what he truly Adds/ Gives to your marriage vs what he " Pushes u to feel based on the Lord vs being all over the place"
I’m weird and I’m here! I get the “I need alone time” I’m very introverted and the thought of marriage and being with someone so much makes me a little uneasy. I like my alone time in the morning too, getting up early for some quiet solo time.
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Such good advice in these comments! And def giving yourself grace Kian. God is like a gardener so He will bring everything He planted in you and through y’all to fruition and prune y’all appropriately. Your marriage will flourish!! (Because God has ordained and said it is so). Psalms 92:12-15
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Hahaha the outtakes have MADE MY WAY😂😅👌🏼
ur literally not weird at all 😭😂 thank uuu for showing your goofy personality!!! its soo helpful haha!!
I’m interested to watch this video. I’m excited to see what God has put on your heart to say in video
It can also be hard to find a happy medium when it comes to sexual activity in marriage. Your needs and your husbands needs are important. Sometimes you may be tired, sometimes he may be tired. Christians may not talk about that but it is a struggle at times.
Can we please have an updated apartment tour??? I just noticed you have a monstera! I didn’t even realize you had one! I wanna see all the plants 🌿🌱😍
Oh my gosh those outakes 🤣 love your weirdness Kian - embrace the weird 💕🥳!
My favorite Young Living item that is a non oil is the tooth paste! I don't plan on ever going back to regular tooth paste. My gums used to shed from regular toothpaste but I made the switch to YL like a year or more ago and its been wonderful!
And I just got the new vanilla oil and it's HEAVENLY. If you haven't gotten that yet, do it!
I did want to mention that I noticed you have your oils on a shelf right by the window and you want to limit the amount of light that hits the oils. I believe it says that on the bottles themselves so I'd suggest moving them if possible.
Love singing Kian! 😂😍
Loved this video sweety! I really laughed when you checked your period app. That is me ALL THE TIME even before PMS :’) Being a woman is quite the wild ride! Hehe. You are the best girl, keep shining. Xxxx
Yessss! I am apart of young living! Best brands and products, highly recommend! My face scent is thieves or lime!
Thanks for sharing and being real! Curious what Kyle does for a job??
I love this hairstyle on you!
Hi Kian! I appreciate your honesty so much. Thank you for this wonderful video. I’ve been married for three years and I’m still learning about submitting to my husband and allowing things to be out of my control (and in Gods hands). I’m quite a naturally dominant person (due to my upbringing) and my husband is quite laidback, but we’ve been prayerfully working at things and there has been good change in us both. With prayer and time it definitely does get easier and it is joyful. Milena and Jordan Ciciotti recently did a great podcast on the role of a husband in a Christian marriage (which was also very informative for wives I feel as well). Milena also did her own video on being a Godly wife a couple of years ago. John Piper also talked about this subject in different podcasts at Desiring God!
Kyle should try The Little Soapmaker bar soap! They are all natural and have shea butter soap as well as goat's milk soap. I seriously enjoy it!
I love your weirdness its AMAZING!!💞😂😂 and the crab hands haha how much caffeine did you have girl.
I love when a watch is described as timeless 😂❤️
With a past boyfriend I found myself taking the dominant role a lot and him always submitting, and honestly did not enjoy it. Coming into a new one, I am constantly reminding myself that I shouldn't be so prideful and allow my s.o. to take the reins more often. I think you were able to phrase it beautifully Kian :)
I throughly enjoyed this vlog from beginning to end! the singing and musical was PERFECT! “don’t worry folks I am not possessed by a demon.”🤣💀
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Hi beautiful 🤩💓 God bless you!
I'M LIVING FOR THOSE OUTAKES!!!!!!!
oo sis those cookies 🍪 looked so yummy. Thank you for speaking about struggles in marriage because its definitely something a lot of Christians go through and keep to themselves. But they don't realise that that is the art of marriage - it symbolic for God's oneness with us, so it's surprise when we find ourselves being more like His character. It's great because once we are saved we are never alone, the Holy Spirit never leaves uss! We have that new heart. Glory to God in everything. The bloopers at the end of your video is funny 😂
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Thank you for opening up. Single ladies need to know the struggles so they can talk about these things with their spouse before marriage. Also, they can be prepared to know these are some issues that can happen. Marriage is hard at times, it’s not fun 100% of the time. The devil fights to break marriages apart. 50%of marriages end up in divorce. If we put God first our marriage will prosper.
I like your crazy side , you’re funny 🤣🤣🤣 I enjoyed that the most
cookie moment and period app was so relatable. i do that too haha!!
Loved this vlog, can you do a video about combining finances please!😂
Yes!! I love Saucemoto!! 😂
I’ve been a Young Living member for about 4 years now and I love the Thieves household cleaner. I put a cap full in the dishwasher to help with cleaning the dishes. I also love the Thieves Whitening toothpaste, the Base Shower Gel and Stress Away essential oil. I put 6 drops of Stress Away in my washing machine water before putting in my clothes. Helps keep your clothes smelling fresh.
I didn’t even know you could be so “weird” haha. First I did find it a little awkward but now I absolutely love it because I can relate to that weirdness and it shows you don’t have to always be serious and put together just to be a “good mature Christian” or anything 😂 So thank you for talking about the struggles in life and also showing your somehow weird self to us! God bless you ❤️❤️
you gotta try rose balm! It's the best for dry lips in the winter :)
11:45 when Kian is on the bed with the cookie = So relatable 😍😍😂😂
9:20 - 10:02 this part literally made my whole day!!😂😂😂😂😂 thought I was the only one who thinks I'm super weird wow it's such a nice feeling to know that someone feels the same as you😂
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