"I think my parents felt more comfortable with me being broken" I'm 40 and just now figuring this out. They were threatened by my creativity, my lightheartedness. In reality, they were the miserable ones. Thankfully I am reclaiming myself and have distanced from them
i've also been figuring this out "later in life." I see more and more truth every day. It fuels me to have the best life I can possibly have, away from lies and unnecessary burden.
Hugs Daniel! Your parents were awful. While I’m studying to become a clinical psychologist, I am horrified when I’ve listened to first person accounts from resilient adults about how awfully dismissive, invalidating and outright cruel their parents were to them! Heart breaking 😭
Mine - they actually put it as ''You alienate everyone you know'' then list all the people no longer in my life. I ve chosen not to care. People come - people go - and I dont get attached - I dont know if thats healthy or not. I ve been married for 11 years and then divorced and Im in no hurry to do that again - thats for sure!
Mine say much worse. My mom told me today that I'll never be able to get married and if I ever did the woman would divorce me. What she has done to my brother and I is evil.
Me too! No lie, no sarcasm. My parents damaged me as well. It's good to know that I'm not alone in having had saboteurs of parents. Very therapeutic videos. Thank you, Daniel!
I really relate to you Daniel. After watching this video I searched about my chinese sign, and I'm a tiger...and it's true, I'm a rebel with a strong personality. But my narcissistic parents always said to me that I was mentally ill, depressed and unstable...to shut me down and to make me the scapegoat of my toxic family. The sad thing is my sister is like them too, she is a narcissist. I don't have any allies in the family system. It's so hard.
Another Tigress here. I have same backstory . God gives his strongest soldiers his hardest battles. I am happy to be a 🐯 ...... we are made for leadership and are a lot of fun. I have an “ Indiana Jones “ quality , and have traveled the world, like Daniel. I have survived my toxic family which has been a Sisyphean feat to be sure. I roll “ solo” but dream of one day finding my mate , and if I follow the path of my past three boyfriends ..... he will probably be a horse ....... I get along with dogs too. 😂
@Wayne M I did t he same thing with my 12 siblings and Ninety year old mother. No contact with them for almost 10 years now...... I am alone without a spouse after having such a big family for most of my life, but being alone has been better than the dysfunction and abuse I knew most of my life.
Wonderful vindication! I also got this kind of narrative about not easily making friends and how weird/strange I was. It does a lot of emotional damage. Also they don't realize that the lack of love and support at home makes the world feel more unsafe and gives you a lack of confidence so it can be a self fulfilling prophecy. It can happen with astrology too. My husband was also a scapegoat. He was the same birth sign as his mother but she told him he was the negative version whereas she was the positive version. It was more like the other way around haha.
I thought the EXACT same thing about myself with my parents and the Chinese zodiac. Born early 1996... It amazes me that someone else's had the same very experience. Thank you for making this video Daniel :)
this story is conforting, and it ressembles very much to the tale of the ugly little duck, isn't it? Spending his life thinking he's an ugly duck, looking for a home, and discovering years after that he is a swan.
My parents were bad too. Very bad. I accepted and I believed all these mean, nasty things they were saying to me and about me. For the same reason, like you said. I wanted them to love me. As a child I had a loving relationship with my cat only. My mother and my older sisters couldn't stand it. They called me a cat mom. Being called a cat mom, is derogatory, almost a curse in my culture. I was barely called by my first name. They had to when I was not in their sight.
What a great ending😆 Your parents wasted those years! What they missed out on, not treasuring the little boy they had. You never get that time back, and it is such a privilege.
My early experiences are so like David's, it's startling sometimes. Once I caught myself wondering if we were somehow related, and then I realized with narcissistic parents in a sick culture, all our shared pain is kept silent. Thanks as always, Daniel. I'm a Snake. 🙄
I'm a Boar too! I remembered that I was from all those years ago when I too looked at that old placemat at old Chinese restaurants. I remember it brought me comfort seeing my birth year represented on the mat. It felt like being seen.
Hi Daniel: Thank you so much for your insightful and interesting videos. I am saddened that your parents misunderstood you, hurt you and created a false narrative about who you were as a little boy (a gorgeous little fellow by the photo). You seem to me to be highly sensitive, highly intelligent and highly likable. I lost my beloved daughter (a rat, according to the Chinese calendar) to brain cancer recently. We were incredibly close and laughed together, and supported one another in all the ways we could. She was a joy. She had scores of lifelong friends and was very sociable. We understood one another and accepted each other as human beings. My son, who is wonderful, brilliant and handsome, was damaged by me in his childhood however, and has now estranged from me. I moved to his city after the recent death of my beloved husband. His childhood and my daughter's were actually quite different, and he went through traumas she didn't (deaths, severe illness, my drinking to drown selfish sorrows for a while, and more). You helped me see how this impacted a little boy so took a very hard look at myself and took RESPONSIBILITY for the harm he suffered with me, his mother, during some very traumatic and turbulent times. I was a selfish, indulgent and too often wrong mother. I wrote to him recently, and am glad I did. He deserves my apologies, which are heartfelt and sincere. Whether or not he comes back into my life is entirely up to him and I respect his choice as a must for him. I believe he knows I am available to him always if he chooses. Of course I miss him terribly, and in his farewell letter to me he tells me he loves me. I believe this. It's mutual. We live and we learn if we are willing, and you and your videos help us to do this, to look at ourselves honestly as parents and truly take responsibility for our myriad mistakes and the hurt these incurred in our beautiful, innocent, sweet and sensitive boys. There were many happy family times. I shall always be grateful for these. Thank you again, Daniel. You are very brave.
Penrose Anderson, parents make mistakes and hurt their children, consciously and unconsciously, but realizing that, they should feel sorry and ask for forgiveness. I felt moved reading your letter as I understand you too well. I was hurt by my parents' open favoritism toward my sibling and unfair treatment towards me. They are both narcissistic prople, and were both abusive but in different ways. I have been focused most of my life on them, trying to understand why they were so indifferent and cold towards me, believing their lies, accepting their gaslighting and being proud of belonging to such a "perfect" family, hiding even to myself the truth that I was the child less worth because I am a daughter, and daughters do not carry on the "family's name". I was stupid and blind, refused to accept reality until two years ago when I realized that it was enough and went no contact. A hard decision, too late. Now I'm sorry. I wasn't a good mother, I have had health problems because of the way I had been treated by my narc family and had no energy and patience to devote to my own family: my son and my husband. My son suffered because of all that. I realize that I was too emotionally absent, absorbed in my problems and even too critical at times.I am sorry for not having been able to really love myself and consequently to love him as part of me, but narcissism is a real evil. I found out too late why my parents behaved the way they did towards me, why nar parents need to create a goldenchild and a scapegoat .I know that they will never understand and will never feel sorry and take responsibility for their behaviour. I didn't feel loved and didn't love myself and I believe that I reflected that on my son. I feel I should have been a better mother. In a book by L. Hay I read that we're all victims of other victims. It's so sad. But being honest and telling the truth perhaps will help to finally break the cycle of abuse against ourselves and the people in our life. All the best.
No offence but I always believe zodiac is stupid. Maybe because I am a rat, and my parents believed I should be smarter than anyone. The truth is most of my classmates are rats too. Unhealthy parents gonna grab every chance to humiliate you, it could be anything.
It's quite scary just how much power a parent has over their child. I'm thankful for videos like these that can make it possible to start questioning and changing some of the brainwashing (for the lack of a better term) some of us have gotten through as kids
I got excited for a minute and then realized I'm still a rat because my birthday is later in the year. :) My parents had the same narrative about me too. I needed to be the broken one in order for the family system to chug along. Great story!
02:00 as a kid, you wanted and needed to be loved and feel secure, so you accepted and maybe believed what your parents said. 04:05 looking back, it seems they would actually feel more comfortable if you were someone who had problems. So, they told you bad things about yourself, sometimes treated you badly and made you feel that there was something wrong with you 'cause... they actually preferred there was something wrong with you. It's like, consciously or not, they'd tried to make you become messy... and kind of made it, until you started healing 😦 All that makes me understand a lot about some things that happened to me 😯
What if someone is a rat? Should he believe the description? Or is it like believing in astrology? F.. parents, astrology and chinese zodiacs, this are just other people stories. Glad you overcame this!
I have parents like this and I still live with them. I agree about them not wanting their kids to be healthy and independent. I'm really struggling to build a runway to take off. I don't have any skills or credentials and they're pleased to have me dependent.
Excelent Dany,tha wisdom of the inner self,the child within that never accepted the damage place that the others, including false horoscope,like all of them are,try to impose to him...as Alice Miller said...the human soul is almost indestructible...
Hahaha.....my husband and I - we are both zodiac "pigs" and we are very best friends since decades now - and really stick together in good times and in bad times! My producer & mispoke don´t even got to know myself ever - only scapegoating me without knowing my real value - and I can tell - we scapegoats are the chosen one´s - the hardliners - because we never give up.🐷🐖🐽💪💪
i work the 12 steps to try and treat my parents disowned guilt and shame that has been handed to me through generations ...... I have trouble feeling worthy of love .... but hold out hope .... in my 50s. Peace to all in this tribe. 💜
I am glad that you Daniel found out about your true Chinese Zodiac animal. Saying that, in my opinion you already knew by intuition and from your own words " I already knew all along ", and you just needed Validation. I think that the message here is to love ourselves, trust your intuition, and follow your own path, because everything is perfect!. I personally learned what real forgiveness is when I started to study psychology and philosophy one of the things that helped me with resentment and almost hate towards my parents was the fact that " I IN THEIR PLACE, WOULD HAVE HAD DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS THEY DID" why? Because I in their place, would had have be them, growing up in the same environment, with the same parents,growing up in the same circumstances and times that they were when they were children, growing up like them, meaning, with the same traumas and unresolved experiences. Basically, I did truly and literally put myself in their shoes and I came to the conclusion that they did what they did because of who they are according to the life they got to live. Empathy is what brought me to forgiveness, starting with myself and than move to others. Now with inner child healing,self love, respect, trust of my feelings and own Validation; I have boundaries, I trust my intuition, and I don't judge because everyone has been traumatized, even the people that said they had " perfect parents" or " perfect childhoods". Forgiveness doesn't mean to tolerate abuse. Forgiveness for me means recognize that people including family are in one way or another going thru their own personal issues, so if they try to hurt me physically I just leave them, and I already learned that mentally nobody can hurt me if I don't aloud them to do so. Actually Ego is the only " program" that gets "hurt" and if that happens it means that I need to work something in me and it has nothing to do with the other person. Love is the only way to heal yourself and others. Love and light is who we are. For Light, Energy, Frequency, and vibration is what makes our hearts beat and experience life to the fullest. Helping us to create and attract all that help us to evolve according to what we need and sometimes not what we want to experience on planet Earth. ❤🕊⚡🌀🌌🌬🔥💧🌱⚡❤ Don't force anything just FLOW. Like a leave floating on the surface of a river and sooner or later you will get to your destination ETERNITY.
I don't know why I haven't seen this video before, but I know exactly how you felt, as I also thought I was a rat and didn't like it at all, but to my relief, I realised later on I am not a rat, but a pig! For exactly the same reason and the same year!!
That's hilarious......through your video, I have also now found out I, too, am under the pig Chinese horoscope animal. My birthday is the 10th of February 1972.
I was going to say that you're not a rat because I am born 1973. Ha ha Just goes to show. Glad you figured it out. It's important to be your authentic self and not be defined by what others especially broken people think of us. Well done.
Lol I have the same thing with western horoscopes. First of all, I dreamed that the system is wrong because there are 13 moons in a year. They dropped one superstitiously. I was told to look at the stars to connect. My mom hated Capricorns and would get mad at me for being one. Also, they are considered serious, ambitious and boring. I have to tell people that I don't believe in it and about my dream. I also mention some really fun famous people to bolster the point. All this so people won't be predjudice and stop seeing me for who I am. This made me laugh 😂 Thank you as usual.
The beliefs about ourselves and life that are imprinted upon us from our parents and society are like a self fulfilling prophecy. We owe it to ourselves to de-programme and explore the truth of who we are. We must decolonise our hearts and minds!
Same here man!!! Exactly the same - I was born in 1984 and always thought I was a rat - but I loved it because Rats are ''Independent'' but it turns out I am also a 'Pig' - which is how they put it in England which makes me laugh!! Chinese New year is the first full moon in either the Sign Capricorn or Aquarius - you have to check therefore if you are born early in the year. I much prefer the term boar! Than PIG! haha you gotta laugh sometimes - that was crazy because the exact same with me!
They wanted you to believe that you were not able to make long-lasting friends, maybe as a manipulation so that you don't become sociable and break from the family system, perhaps?
its too bad it takes half a lifetime to realize certain things I guess a lot of our parents were messed up to and being toxic is a sign that they were hurting but some of us were the target unfortunately
Hahahaha. I am a rat and I can tell you ... 0 lifelong friends. But could that be because I moved every 6 months or so throughout my childhood, I went to 4 high schools in 10th grade alone....or it could be the rat thing.
Meanwhile I'm here being a stereotypical Pisces and wondering if I have been profoundly conformist to the expectations of horoscopes all these years or if there is some cosmic wisdom to Astrology.
I’m a pisces also, someone claimed that it’s the pisces era nowadays ))) haha I wonder to this day also if there is any truth to it, we are supposed to be sentimental but I’ve seen other people be much more sentimental, so I think we all have according to the necessity of the situation all the attributes. There was even a book called human design which was very detailed in the analysis, I didn’t know before people had that many differing qualities and energy canals and different attributes by nature, helped me be more understanding of everyone possible having different attributes )))
Hello Daniel, I apreciate you make videos helping people uncover and understand their trauma.However i think bringing it up over and over again is counterproductive and overall ruminative. I used to blame my parents a lot for my own inadequacies but all it brought me was emptiness and more resentment for myself.I think only when I was able to forgive them , move on and be able to take responsability for my own life (choose to help myself in the present despite my bad past) i felt like i started to live again. I'm curious if you have any thoughts on that :)
Just blaming your parents isn't going to get you healed. And forgiving them when you haven't confronted the horrors of what they did to you is like sweeping dirt under the rug. It hasn't gone away... By "getting on with your life" you're choosing to not deal with it which is why you feel the way you do about his videos. It's hellish work and not for the faint of spirit ✨️
Hahaha...I really am laughing, dear Daniel, to hear this story and how you're "a pig after all" ☺️. I'm sorry it took you so long to find out and feel vindicated! I wish I can say I've known an actual pig.🐽 I've heard that they are so intelligent, emotionally and cognitively. One of my favorite authors, Lyall Watson, wrote a book on them: The Whole Hog. Exploring the Extraordinary Potential of Pigs. Anyone would be blessed to have you for a friend 💎
I wonder if you feel the same way that I do, since you did not have a healthy family dynamic that you are unable to create that in a new family? I want to be a husband and father, but I don't know how I can be capable of doing that well when I am not familiar with anything close to what I want to be.
I can remember when i was a baby my mother told me on my father side they twist baby with my mom that was me and my cousin i want to know why my father neith twist baby with my mom when i was a baby
So, are you a Capricorn or Aquarius in the western zodiac? For years I thought I was a horse, only to discover that I was born on the last day of the year of the snake. And yes, that fits much better for me too. 😉
Anyone who causes a new sentient being to be brought into existence is responsible for all of the harm that being will be subjected to and all the harm that being will subject others to, as well as all of the harm any offspring and descendants of that being will be subjected to or subject others to. All of that harm can be totally prevented by not bringing that being into existence in the first place. There is no good reason to bring all of that harm into existence.
@@dfordiligence2398 I'm pretty close so I'll tell you my "name" soon . Thanks .. it works like this . You identify and then fix . I'm 23 . Been through some things . Not many . So I'll tell you my name soon . Thanks ....
what an odd lumpy journey. superstitions,pronuncements,rallying cries our parents call forth. our society,a mass whipping about the head and body. lord have mercy.....carry on.
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"I think my parents felt more comfortable with me being broken" I'm 40 and just now figuring this out. They were threatened by my creativity, my lightheartedness. In reality, they were the miserable ones. Thankfully I am reclaiming myself and have distanced from them
thank you for repeating this, it helped me ground it for myself
i've also been figuring this out "later in life." I see more and more truth every day. It fuels me to have the best life I can possibly have, away from lies and unnecessary burden.
As an adult, I can't believe how sadistic most parents are. I would never tell my kids what they are. EVER!
yes
Hugs Daniel! Your parents were awful. While I’m studying to become a clinical psychologist, I am horrified when I’ve listened to first person accounts from resilient adults about how awfully dismissive, invalidating and outright cruel their parents were to them! Heart breaking 😭
Most toxic people need a scapegoat. Awesome ending to the story.
pick me pick me I was the scapegoat 30 years after trying to learn from it and let it all go
What kind of parent goes around telling people that their son sucks at making friends. That's so screwed up.
Mine - they actually put it as ''You alienate everyone you know'' then list all the people no longer in my life. I ve chosen not to care. People come - people go - and I dont get attached - I dont know if thats healthy or not. I ve been married for 11 years and then divorced and Im in no hurry to do that again - thats for sure!
Mine say much worse. My mom told me today that I'll never be able to get married and if I ever did the woman would divorce me. What she has done to my brother and I is evil.
Yes, exactly!!!! 😏😏😏
I admire Daniel`s commitment to telling the world how bad his parents are, week after week, for our benefit. Thank you, Sir.
Me too :)
Me too! No lie, no sarcasm. My parents damaged me as well. It's good to know that I'm not alone in having had saboteurs of parents. Very therapeutic videos. Thank you, Daniel!
He’s been breaking programming. 💔🤯 👍🏻
Somewhat comic, but actually very true - I agree, Gerhard!
Its OK to feel contempt for our parents.
I really relate to you Daniel. After watching this video I searched about my chinese sign, and I'm a tiger...and it's true, I'm a rebel with a strong personality. But my narcissistic parents always said to me that I was mentally ill, depressed and unstable...to shut me down and to make me the scapegoat of my toxic family. The sad thing is my sister is like them too, she is a narcissist. I don't have any allies in the family system. It's so hard.
Another Tigress here. I have same backstory . God gives his strongest soldiers his hardest battles. I am happy to be a 🐯 ...... we are made for leadership and are a lot of fun. I have an “ Indiana Jones “ quality , and have traveled the world, like Daniel. I have survived my toxic family which has been a Sisyphean feat to be sure. I roll “ solo” but dream of one day finding my mate , and if I follow the path of my past three boyfriends ..... he will probably be a horse ....... I get along with dogs too. 😂
@Wayne M Thank you!!! I really hope so!
@Wayne M I did t he same thing with my 12 siblings and Ninety year old mother. No contact with them for almost 10 years now...... I am alone without a spouse after having such a big family for most of my life, but being alone has been better than the dysfunction and abuse I knew most of my life.
Name dropping or constant reference to the "successful people over there" is such a common sign of narcissism. My family does it non-stop.
You're a great storyteller! I'm happy for you for breaking out of their narrative. Many well wishes for you and your lifelong friends. :)
Wonderful vindication! I also got this kind of narrative about not easily making friends and how weird/strange I was. It does a lot of emotional damage. Also they don't realize that the lack of love and support at home makes the world feel more unsafe and gives you a lack of confidence so it can be a self fulfilling prophecy.
It can happen with astrology too. My husband was also a scapegoat. He was the same birth sign as his mother but she told him he was the negative version whereas she was the positive version. It was more like the other way around haha.
yes, even siblings can continue the narrative :) thanks for sharing Daniel
I thought the EXACT same thing about myself with my parents and the Chinese zodiac. Born early 1996... It amazes me that someone else's had the same very experience. Thank you for making this video Daniel :)
My parent would do the same thing with the Zodiac. Repeat over and over the negative aspects of my sign and attribute it to me. What a sick person.
As a fellow Boar here, who also grew up with a lot of toxic narratives about themselves, I relate to this a lot. Thanks for sharing.
That's a great story, really made me smile for you.
Same here : )
Thank you Daniel! Loved this ❤️
Man, I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m glad you’re out here speaking on it and trying to wake us up 👏🏼
this story is conforting, and it ressembles very much to the tale of the ugly little duck, isn't it? Spending his life thinking he's an ugly duck, looking for a home, and discovering years after that he is a swan.
My parents were bad too. Very bad. I accepted and I believed all these mean, nasty things they were saying to me and about me. For the same reason, like you said. I wanted them to love me. As a child I had a loving relationship with my cat only. My mother and my older sisters couldn't stand it. They called me a cat mom. Being called a cat mom, is derogatory, almost a curse in my culture. I was barely called by my first name. They had to when I was not in their sight.
very heart touching story. Thank you for sharing it. It is affecting me how parents can influence and even harm their children.
What a great ending😆 Your parents wasted those years! What they missed out on, not treasuring the little boy they had. You never get that time back, and it is such a privilege.
I am year of the rat, 1984. I've known my best friend since I was 4 years old 🤷♀️
My early experiences are so like David's, it's startling sometimes.
Once I caught myself wondering if we were somehow related, and then I realized with narcissistic parents in a sick culture, all our shared pain is kept silent.
Thanks as always, Daniel. I'm a Snake. 🙄
I’m becoming a better parent w every video :)
Me too, Liz!
I'm a Boar too! I remembered that I was from all those years ago when I too looked at that old placemat at old Chinese restaurants. I remember it brought me comfort seeing my birth year represented on the mat. It felt like being seen.
Yep! I get exactly what you are saying! 😃
Hi Daniel: Thank you so much for your insightful and interesting videos. I am saddened that your parents misunderstood you, hurt you and created a false narrative about who you were as a little boy (a gorgeous little fellow by the photo). You seem to me to be highly sensitive, highly intelligent and highly likable. I lost my beloved daughter (a rat, according to the Chinese calendar) to brain cancer recently. We were incredibly close and laughed together, and supported one another in all the ways we could. She was a joy. She had scores of lifelong friends and was very sociable. We understood one another and accepted each other as human beings. My son, who is wonderful, brilliant and handsome, was damaged by me in his childhood however, and has now estranged from me. I moved to his city after the recent death of my beloved husband. His childhood and my daughter's were actually quite different, and he went through traumas she didn't (deaths, severe illness, my drinking to drown selfish sorrows for a while, and more). You helped me see how this impacted a little boy so took a very hard look at myself and took RESPONSIBILITY for the harm he suffered with me, his mother, during some very traumatic and turbulent times. I was a selfish, indulgent and too often wrong mother.
I wrote to him recently, and am glad I did. He deserves my apologies, which are heartfelt and sincere. Whether or not he comes back into my life is entirely up to him and I respect his choice as a must for him. I believe he knows I am available to him always if he chooses. Of course I miss him terribly, and in his farewell letter to me he tells me he loves me. I believe this. It's mutual. We live and we learn if we are willing, and you and your videos help us to do this, to look at ourselves honestly as parents and truly take responsibility for our myriad mistakes and the hurt these incurred in our beautiful, innocent, sweet and sensitive boys. There were many happy family times. I shall always be grateful for these. Thank you again, Daniel. You are very brave.
Penrose Anderson, parents make mistakes and hurt their children, consciously and unconsciously, but realizing that, they should feel sorry and ask for forgiveness. I felt moved reading your letter as I understand you too well. I was hurt by my parents' open favoritism toward my sibling and unfair treatment towards me. They are both narcissistic prople, and were both abusive but in different ways. I have been focused most of my life on them, trying to understand why they were so indifferent and cold towards me, believing their lies, accepting their gaslighting and being proud of belonging to such a "perfect" family, hiding even to myself the truth that I was the child less worth because I am a daughter, and daughters do not carry on the "family's name". I was stupid and blind, refused to accept reality until two years ago when I realized that it was enough and went no contact. A hard decision, too late. Now I'm sorry. I wasn't a good mother, I have had health problems because of the way I had been treated by my narc family and had no energy and patience to devote to my own family: my son and my husband. My son suffered because of all that. I realize that I was too emotionally absent, absorbed in my problems and even too critical at times.I am sorry for not having been able to really love myself and consequently to love him as part of me, but narcissism is a real evil. I found out too late why my parents behaved the way they did towards me, why nar parents need to create a goldenchild and a scapegoat .I know that they will never understand and will never feel sorry and take responsibility for their behaviour. I didn't feel loved and didn't love myself and I believe that I reflected that on my son. I feel I should have been a better mother. In a book by L. Hay I read that we're all victims of other victims. It's so sad. But being honest and telling the truth perhaps will help to finally break the cycle of abuse against ourselves and the people in our life. All the best.
Love your late night musings Daniel!!!☺
Heart hurts for the pain you suffered in your family dynamics. This video was so insightful.
Wonderful! You are a living triumph.
No offence but I always believe zodiac is stupid. Maybe because I am a rat, and my parents believed I should be smarter than anyone. The truth is most of my classmates are rats too. Unhealthy parents gonna grab every chance to humiliate you, it could be anything.
It's quite scary just how much power a parent has over their child. I'm thankful for videos like these that can make it possible to start questioning and changing some of the brainwashing (for the lack of a better term) some of us have gotten through as kids
I got excited for a minute and then realized I'm still a rat because my birthday is later in the year. :) My parents had the same narrative about me too. I needed to be the broken one
in order for the family system to chug along. Great story!
02:00 as a kid, you wanted and needed to be loved and feel secure, so you accepted and maybe believed what your parents said.
04:05 looking back, it seems they would actually feel more comfortable if you were someone who had problems.
So, they told you bad things about yourself, sometimes treated you badly and made you feel that there was something wrong with you 'cause... they actually preferred there was something wrong with you. It's like, consciously or not, they'd tried to make you become messy... and kind of made it, until you started healing 😦
All that makes me understand a lot about some things that happened to me 😯
Really really liked this one!!! Thanks for it. Keep up the good work 💯👍👍👍👍!!!
What if someone is a rat? Should he believe the description? Or is it like believing in astrology?
F.. parents, astrology and chinese zodiacs, this are just other people stories.
Glad you overcame this!
I have parents like this and I still live with them. I agree about them not wanting their kids to be healthy and independent. I'm really struggling to build a runway to take off. I don't have any skills or credentials and they're pleased to have me dependent.
Excelent Dany,tha wisdom of the inner self,the child within that never accepted the damage place that the others, including false horoscope,like all of them are,try to impose to him...as Alice Miller said...the human soul is almost indestructible...
I used to work at my uncles Chinese restaurant and they used the same placemat. Lol. I never read into though and I am Chinese! 😆
Hahaha.....my husband and I - we are both zodiac "pigs" and we are very best friends since decades now - and really stick together in good times and in bad times! My producer & mispoke don´t even got to know myself ever - only scapegoating me without knowing my real value - and I can tell - we scapegoats are the chosen one´s - the hardliners - because we never give up.🐷🐖🐽💪💪
i work the 12 steps to try and treat my parents disowned guilt and shame that has been handed to me through generations ...... I have trouble feeling worthy of love .... but hold out hope .... in my 50s. Peace to all in this tribe. 💜
I am glad that you Daniel found out about your true Chinese Zodiac animal. Saying that, in my opinion you already knew by intuition and from your own words " I already knew all along ", and you just needed Validation.
I think that the message here is to love ourselves, trust your intuition, and follow your own path, because everything is perfect!. I personally learned what real forgiveness is when I started to study psychology and philosophy one of the things that helped me with resentment and almost hate towards my parents was the fact that " I IN THEIR PLACE, WOULD HAVE HAD DONE EXACTLY THE SAME THINGS THEY DID" why? Because I in their place, would had have be them, growing up in the same environment, with the same parents,growing up in the same circumstances and times that they were when they were children, growing up like them, meaning, with the same traumas and unresolved experiences. Basically, I did truly and literally put myself in their shoes and I came to the conclusion that they did what they did because of who they are according to the life they got to live. Empathy is what brought me to forgiveness, starting with myself and than move to others. Now with inner child healing,self love, respect, trust of my feelings and own Validation; I have boundaries, I trust my intuition, and I don't judge because everyone has been traumatized, even the people that said they had " perfect parents" or " perfect childhoods". Forgiveness doesn't mean to tolerate abuse. Forgiveness for me means recognize that people including family are in one way or another going thru their own personal issues, so if they try to hurt me physically I just leave them, and I already learned that mentally nobody can hurt me if I don't aloud them to do so. Actually Ego is the only " program" that gets "hurt" and if that happens it means that I need to work something in me and it has nothing to do with the other person. Love is the only way to heal yourself and others.
Love and light is who we are.
For Light, Energy, Frequency, and vibration is what makes our hearts beat and experience life to the fullest. Helping us to create and attract all that help us to evolve according to what we need and sometimes not what we want to experience on planet Earth.
❤🕊⚡🌀🌌🌬🔥💧🌱⚡❤
Don't force anything just FLOW.
Like a leave floating on the surface of a river and sooner or later you will get to your destination ETERNITY.
So happy for you!
I don't know why I haven't seen this video before, but I know exactly how you felt, as I also thought I was a rat and didn't like it at all, but to my relief, I realised later on I am not a rat, but a pig! For exactly the same reason and the same year!!
That's hilarious......through your video, I have also now found out I, too, am under the pig Chinese horoscope animal. My birthday is the 10th of February 1972.
Go Daniel!
Anyone remembers Daniel's story about a happy homeless guy? What was it? It had the same vibe :)
I was going to say that you're not a rat because I am born 1973. Ha ha Just goes to show. Glad you figured it out. It's important to be your authentic self and not be defined by what others especially broken people think of us. Well done.
They were just projecting
Labels are powerful. Truth. 🙏🏼 I think healthiness threatens a lot of people. (the same error happened with me re Chinese signs; and I'm asian!)
Lol
I have the same thing with western horoscopes. First of all, I dreamed that the system is wrong because there are 13 moons in a year. They dropped one superstitiously.
I was told to look at the stars to connect.
My mom hated Capricorns and would get mad at me for being one. Also, they are considered serious, ambitious and boring. I have to tell people that I don't believe in it and about my dream. I also mention some really fun famous people to bolster the point. All this so people won't be predjudice and stop seeing me for who I am.
This made me laugh 😂
Thank you as usual.
The beliefs about ourselves and life that are imprinted upon us from our parents and society are like a self fulfilling prophecy. We owe it to ourselves to de-programme and explore the truth of who we are. We must decolonise our hearts and minds!
Same here man!!! Exactly the same - I was born in 1984 and always thought I was a rat - but I loved it because Rats are ''Independent'' but it turns out I am also a 'Pig' - which is how they put it in England which makes me laugh!! Chinese New year is the first full moon in either the Sign Capricorn or Aquarius - you have to check therefore if you are born early in the year. I much prefer the term boar! Than PIG! haha you gotta laugh sometimes - that was crazy because the exact same with me!
Fellow early '72 pig here - known to be extremely loyal with a select few lifelong friends 😉
They wanted you to believe that you were not able to make long-lasting friends, maybe as a manipulation so that you don't become sociable and break from the family system, perhaps?
This story illustrates why the occult and astrology etc , should be avoided at all costs
So cool.
its too bad it takes half a lifetime to realize certain things I guess a lot of our parents were messed up to and being toxic is a sign that they were hurting but some of us were the target unfortunately
Hahahaha. I am a rat and I can tell you ... 0 lifelong friends. But could that be because I moved every 6 months or so throughout my childhood, I went to 4 high schools in 10th grade alone....or it could be the rat thing.
I’m also a pig:) 🐷✌️
I am a wood rat, guess I am screwed!
I had the same thing said to me.
Meanwhile I'm here being a stereotypical Pisces and wondering if I have been profoundly conformist to the expectations of horoscopes all these years or if there is some cosmic wisdom to Astrology.
I’m a pisces also, someone claimed that it’s the pisces era nowadays ))) haha I wonder to this day also if there is any truth to it, we are supposed to be sentimental but I’ve seen other people be much more sentimental, so I think we all have according to the necessity of the situation all the attributes. There was even a book called human design which was very detailed in the analysis, I didn’t know before people had that many differing qualities and energy canals and different attributes by nature, helped me be more understanding of everyone possible having different attributes )))
4:03 Me too
2020 is year of the rat.
They were wrong all along about the wonderful child you were
Bwahaha!! Hello fellow rrrraaat! Let’s lose some more friends, shall we? 😂
Oh shoot, it’s a false alarm?? Ok ok.
Hello Daniel, I apreciate you make videos helping people uncover and understand their trauma.However i think bringing it up over and over again is counterproductive and overall ruminative. I used to blame my parents a lot for my own inadequacies but all it brought me was emptiness and more resentment for myself.I think only when I was able to forgive them , move on and be able to take responsability for my own life (choose to help myself in the present despite my bad past) i felt like i started to live again. I'm curious if you have any thoughts on that :)
Just blaming your parents isn't going to get you healed. And forgiving them when you haven't confronted the horrors of what they did to you is like sweeping dirt under the rug. It hasn't gone away...
By "getting on with your life" you're choosing to not deal with it which is why you feel the way you do about his videos. It's hellish work and not for the faint of spirit ✨️
Hahaha...I really am laughing, dear Daniel, to hear this story and how you're "a pig after all" ☺️. I'm sorry it took you so long to find out and feel vindicated!
I wish I can say I've known an actual pig.🐽 I've heard that they are so intelligent, emotionally and cognitively. One of my favorite authors, Lyall Watson, wrote a book on them: The Whole Hog. Exploring the Extraordinary Potential of Pigs.
Anyone would be blessed to have you for a friend 💎
I'm a Rat. Its true. I have never had any friends no matter how hard I tried.
Did you grow up in Henderson TX too?
I wonder if you feel the same way that I do, since you did not have a healthy family dynamic that you are unable to create that in a new family? I want to be a husband and father, but I don't know how I can be capable of doing that well when I am not familiar with anything close to what I want to be.
I'm a metal pig as well
😊🦋🕊
I am also a rat.
I'm a 🐕
Never saw sadder people than on this channel. Very sad. All this estrangement and division.
I can remember when i was a baby my mother told me on my father side they twist baby with my mom that was me and my cousin i want to know why my father neith twist baby with my mom when i was a baby
it is hard to acknowledge that you were living with dead people from the start.
So, are you a Capricorn or Aquarius in the western zodiac? For years I thought I was a horse, only to discover that I was born on the last day of the year of the snake. And yes, that fits much better for me too. 😉
As the saying goes: "Parents are always the worst parents...until you become one yourself."
Wish me luck! :p
Hope is not a strategy.
Anyone who causes a new sentient being to be brought into existence is responsible for all of the harm that being will be subjected to and all the harm that being will subject others to, as well as all of the harm any offspring and descendants of that being will be subjected to or subject others to. All of that harm can be totally prevented by not bringing that being into existence in the first place. There is no good reason to bring all of that harm into existence.
@Bojan V Name me one person who has ever healed all their wounds. Thanks.
@@dfordiligence2398 I'm pretty close so I'll tell you my "name" soon . Thanks .. it works like this . You identify and then fix . I'm 23 . Been through some things . Not many . So I'll tell you my name soon . Thanks ....
I wish you luck and grace and total feeling of being whole Nach! 🐨🏑⛳️🙋🏻♀️🐞🦋🦉 my friend said I was like an owl the other day haha. ✨🌈
Rat is the best ;)
The relentless , restless rat ....... always a hard driving worker..... he needs company of others
Being told you're a boar could set off a different set of issues unless they clarify the spelling.
I have you as an INTP Scientidt and they’re more loners by nature with high intelligence and less interest in people 🧐
Scientist*
what an odd lumpy journey. superstitions,pronuncements,rallying cries our parents call forth. our society,a mass whipping about the head and body. lord have mercy.....carry on.
This is obvious Daniel. Your parents projected the whole time on you. This is not about zodiac signs 😅 i appreciate your videos thought
I'm cruious Daniel. Where you a doctor? if you were I suppose you reject that title now due to rejecting mainstream psycotherapy?
Chinese parents?
😍🤪