The Art of Alone: Intentional Solitude | Niqolas Ruud | TEDxWallaWallaUniversity
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- Опубликовано: 12 июн 2016
- Niqolas shares how spending time alone can empower, inspire, and motivate.
Niqolas Ruud, originally from Portland, Oregon, is a freshman at Walla Walla University. He grew up in the Pacific Northwest, and attended Upper Columbia Academy during his high school years. Niqolas, currently working towards a B.A. in Theology, aims to be either a missionary, pastor, teacher, or chaplain. He says that intentional solitude has greatly benefited him as he strives to become a more positive and successful individual. During his free time, Niq enjoys “rowdy things” like alpinism, kayaking, ice hockey, and singing a cappella music.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
This is natural for us introverts
A struggle for us extroverts.
2nd nature for ambiverts and very lovely to be able to choose either depending on my mood, best of both ; )
Wicked talk.
Inevitable for us perverts!
Tony James Gilpin LMAOOO!!
I'm an introvert person and I have a tab of LSD, bye.
nothing wrong with being alone. in fact you discover and experience more in life. society makes you think you're crazy lazy psycho when you're a loner.
Society TRIES to make you think that ...it only works if you believe it
when the number of crazy people is higher, the normal person become the crazy one, the crazy society try to make the loner look like crazy
Everyone needs a balance between solitude and time spent with others. The balance varies from person to person. Some people might need to spend 50% of their time alone 50% of their time with others. Others may need to spend 9% of the time with others and 10% of the time in solitude. That being said I don't think there is many human beings in existence who wouldn't benefit from close intimate healthy relationships with other human beings. Most of the time, self-proclaimed loners aren't the rare specimens who require more solitude then most other people, usually they're people that have been scarred by their previous relationships growing up and had very poor or non-existent relationships with their father or mother. As a result they have a phobia of intimacy. However this is just the most common situation for self-proclaimed loners. Again there are a few rare specimens who need to spend most of their time in solitude, But the same time they still had deep meaningful and close relationships with people that they occasionally spend time with in order to have highly meaningful conversations and share highly meaningful experiences together.
I finally feel understood
i don’t trust people who can’t be alone. it’s like they’re not fully human. i’m very grateful that i learnt to live alone before the internet became commonplace ☻
animal lib & womens lib I have a roommate I kicked out because he really refused to be alone he will get so bored & call people just to argue because he doesn’t know how to be by himself
I see you everywhere haha
I think people who can’t be alone is because they can’t stand themselves.
Antisocial behavior is a trait of intelligence in a world of conformists - Nikola Tesla
Antisocial personality disorder is calling a person is sociopath or psychopath.
Let go Accept some psychopaths actually have friends and family, they creepy guy in a basement perception psychopath is not alway true
@@ibrahimabarry4937 you misunderstood my point. Antisocial means psychopath. What I'm trying to convey is that the person is using the wrong term. What he should say is a person who enjoys alone time or does not want to be in Social crowds or an introvert however he misused the term antisocial. Anti-social again refers to the concept of psychopathy. Do you understand? This is not about whether psychopaths are friends or not again it's relating to the original post.
@@eaumartineau7890 Well most people misuse the term to be fair, which is understandable since it seems like it would mean someone who doesn't like being social. Not everyone is a psychologist or studied serial killers in depth.
I really hope he meant asocial lol.
I'm not afraid to be alone.. I enjoyed being alone.
Psychopath spotted! 😨😨😨😨
Aphyrius I’m glad I m not alone in this.
same
Love being alone 2
He's giving away the secret to true creativity.
Sometimes I think being alone toooo much is bad, but each time I try to go out & I think of the shallow conversations that are going to ensue, I simply meditate, grab a new book & explore new worlds between the covers of my book. Contentment right there.
I felt this I feel like human conversations are quite shallow and don’t really have much meaning or add more value
One of the main reasons I avoid too much circulation. The things most of us talk about are really low hanging fruit....
I'm 70 and have been in voluntary solitude now for 2 1/2 years after a lifetime of fullness. It is freeing. 🌹
Hii lindaaa 💗…. Best of luck and have a nice time
@@adatbh Thanks luv .. so far (73 now) so good.🌹
Love this and fully understand.
Yes ..being alone keeps us away from the exhaustion of others expectations from us and thereby brings happiness that’s really true !
we are all alone in this together
Yo, that's a very under rated compliment
I too always says that
It's nice to know that I'm not alone in being alone. Hello alone people
Hi 👋
whadup
@@blackscreennoiseforrelaxat1517 👋
@@danielkillorin9742 yo
hello guys..same here
Solitude has been my catalyst for my internal metamorphosis. I'm digging deep into myself without the intrusion of others. It's a productive form of solitude.
I've done my best work in solitude... became a pretty good guitar player, a welder, and I've had some of the most amazing bicycle rides... where incredible thoughts came in torrents.
Thomas Walz I love you for being alone I spend a lot of time on the hills of Eastern Oregon cleaning cemeteries or whatever and I love it
Solitudeness has always been the bestest friend and the biggest therapist🧘♀️❤
This was a very well done speech. I think though that society doesn't know how to be alone, because they don't teach that. Ever since you're in preschool or starting elementary school, you're supposed to get involved with others (which is good, I'm not saying it's bad). But when you get older high school, college, graduated, etc... you are looked at differently for being alone, or wanting to be alone. You get made fun of, name called, feared even, all by people that probably don't know you, or don't understand you. In modern America today very few people can stand up by themselves, they need someone to hold their hand and make them feel like they're worth something. It's all good to have a support system, but people need to learn to stand up on their own at a certain age, not be so dependent on others. Lastly even dating, there are apps on your phone and commercials telling you, that you need someone you shouldn't be alone, you got to have someone. That puts a lot of pressure on people. Again you get looked at differently for not being in a relationship once you reach a certain age. People really need to learn how to be alone, and sometimes the person really needs that so they can grow smarter and stronger then they ever thought.
Know who you only rely on, understand we need the others for our own sanity.
Ugo Carobene
We do .. As adolescents we are a product of our up bringing... For me as a young boy I strived for companionship... through my teens rage and rebellion... now I am 40!!!! never been married no kids and Yes I am alone... But I really don't mind it..
know the exact meaning of solitude
The truth as it relates to conscious life has been revealed and it turned out to be better than anything we could have imagined. This is truth you can and should check for yourself, this is truth the evidence says is true, Search *_Truth Contest_* and read the top entry called "The Present". The truth will set you free
True!!!
I'm all by myself most of the time.I do everything that one can do all alone. It's just the way that I live. I never needed anybody around me to function in my life, & I'm not some strange weirdo neither. It's how I am & that's just me. We all have our own wants,needs & desires in life, which makes us unique & special in everything we do. Take the time to find out who you truly are & live that life, instead of trying to be like the person your not.
Kennedy thanks for sharing your thoughts I always feel so out of place when I'm out by myself, feeling like a strange weirdo when really I should just be enjoying myself. I will take what you said and apply it
I cherish my alone time. There aren't enough hours in a day!!
I spend alone 80% of my time.
I think I'm "deep" so to speak, or may be I'm just more aware of it than most people...
The thing is, being that much time alone doesn't help me get things done. I tend to end up only thinking and living in my mind, wandering through its lands, and not being productive in any tangible sense.
Connecting with others helps me notice the passing of time, how others finish projects and stuff and that fuels me. It acts like a metronome, once I feel the beat again, I can lock myself (if temporarily) to it and get things done (VS getting "thinks" done).
Without the human "clock" of others, my mind is simultaneously both a paralyzing lightning fast wreck train and a frozen continuum of time and seemingly infinite possibilities, none of which ever get materialized.
Javi G Beautifully written. I can empathise with you
It's incredible how much I relate. I'm always in my head.
Wow, I can relate.
I relate 100% especially as I am a maladaptive daydreamer
this guy didnt explain a thing. try going 10 days without any entertainment, no internet, no people, no books, nothing, just you. You might feel like going insane and be facing all your inner demons, but man, if you get through it you will be reborn again ;)
And here I am, using my alone time in trips to the bookstoe and lonely coffee at the coffee shop.
Taking yourself to a place you enjoy is one of the best things you can do -that shows how much you appreciate yourself.
H Angeli alone for a female who needs constant companionship and entertainment its normal what you do. For a guy alone for days on end is normal. I can go for a coffee alone but am not lonely. See the difference?
H Angeli me too
@@Tony-dh what?
That sounds amazing💖
What’s funny is I’ve lost a lot of friends over the years I’m 26 and I only associate with one person. But there’s a valid reason why God allowed this to happen. He removed them from my life for a reason. And maybe this is a sign and I’m listening for what he wants me to do. I’m in this by myself and this is my journey to explore and learn new things without anybody in my ear. If it means that I don’t need to have friends/family then I’m perfectly fine with that, it’ll just help me maneuver a lot more. All things happen for a reason so I’ll be taking full advantage of this opportunity. Thank you 🙏
You been through a lot to change yourself from extrovert to introvert.
Welcome to solitude zone where you are the master of your everything in your life.
I like your charisma and how you have changed to be this calm person.
Man your voice is so soft can you read me a bedtime story every night
i was intentionally looking for a comment about his voice lol
Kimberly Xu That’s a bit weird!
LMAO LOL
But the chip-chip-chip sounds feels really weird...
He needs to take a big drink of water though.
We're so stressed out because we are working so hard to make other people wealthier while depriving ourselves beyond compare. We've made our goals possible only by submitting to the material deities, carotts dangling, we're chasing stuff. Basic income for every citizen is a sure way to reduce and eliminate stress, allowing more time for imagination, cooperation and peace. More time for a sustainable life of more leisure. Thank you.
Vi An MUSIC ur absolutely correct
Basic income with the ability to earn more if you want to work harder. Everyone wins!
PaiNExoTiC: "extracting resources out of other people who are working to make those people who do less wealthier" is exactly what the existing tax system does, and it does this to provide goods and services that the commercial marketplace cannot deliver, or ones that the commercial marketplace delivers inefficiently. It is necessary to tax people.
Universal basic income (UBI) is not about fulfilling people's desires; that's what the commercial capitalist marketplace is for.
UBI is about providing a starting point for everyone. The only thing UBI will give you is the basics: housing, food, and clothing. If you want to buy $100K of stuff, then you better work for it because UBI isn't going to provide that. Nor should it provide that. No-one deserves to just be given $100K of stuff. We do deserve to not starve to death in an alleyway though.
Dont speak for everyone
"In the end were all alone and noone is coming to save you"
I love being totally alone. I am not at all antisocial, in fact I have many friends, but I spend most of my time alone cuz it's the best most productive enjoyable time
I do it all the time I've gotten to the point that I'd rather have solitude spend more time in my room for months than spend with untrusting humans ,I'm not afraid of being alone
With a dash of ASMR.
This guy get's 1M views, thinking he made a great speach. lol
Finally am of the age I don't care what you think. I like being alone. I look forward to it. Realized it when I was consulting and nothing was more important than the client's success. After giving all, being alone was how I replentished the deficit. Then I became full and whole again....and certainly like he said more creative. Now it is second nature. I like my company.
Ann Pane I want a life like yours, it's my dream.
You've touched a nerve.... We are driven to survive so maintaining connection with others is part of our drive to survive. Being alone gives us the time and space to tune into and be aware of our own Energy, and letting go into that flow. For me being alone was disturbing, feelings of fear, anxiety, my mind movie playing out in thoughts and feelings about the experience I am having. Being alone allows me to relax into myself.
Ive wanted my own space my whole life, id love to dance and sing when i want with the music blasting.
Society demonizes those who chose to be alone. They say you failed if you're not surrounded by "friends"... And you fail even more if you're single. I think loneliness is total freedom and happiness. I'd rather be alone than surronded by fake people and relationships
I can relate
The power of self realization and creation for me is much stronger when I am isolated from all outside influences..
Another advocate for meditation. Agreed. One of the most powerful techniques for problem solving.
Solitude helps us appreciate and value the experiences we have in life. Our imagination and our flawed human memory together with a thirsty emotional state of unique appreciation , helps us simulate these past experiences in our minds into beautiful unexplored versions of the once everyday reality we thought we wanted to escape from.
I have been raised as a solitude and independent kid. During my adolescence, I thought I was a weirdo, because I let people get into my head. But the more I grow up, the less I want a group of friend. I find that the greatest time is being alone.
the fear of finding oneself alone , that is what they suffer from , and they don't find themselves at all !!!
Youri Abdo Rollo May?
I've along story with solitude. I've spent much of my life alone, far away from society and I don't consider myself as asocial but solitude gave me and still giving me much understanding. In solitude you're with yourself, I learnt not to fear myself. I know myself I know who I am and where should I go? I find in solitude my values. I develop a different thinking I find the essence of life. Solitude is creative, innovative and artistic in some way. We need a time to be alone to face our fears and talk to oneself.
Our biggest fear is within us, the one who walks with us all the ways we take, think and feel all what we think and feel. That fear is confronting to one SELF. But, if we know how to be alone and appreciate solitude we find love and happiness, we become dependent on ourselves not the others.
The speech was so good. It’s disturbing that I could hear the constant moistening of spit in his mouth every time he opened it.
Mathsexual Si it made me leave
Could be nervous ... or on Xanax.
Lmfaooo it bothered me too so I listened without headphones, powerful message tho
This guy just reminded me why staying quite brings about productivity even though I'm aware that I work better alone it just feels good knowing that it's actually what would work for many individuals
I have asked people my whole life what their greatest fear is, The main one I've heard is "ENDING UP ALONE". It struck me because I am an introvert who adores my solitude. I kind of use that questions in dates just to see if they will say that too 9/10 they do.
Where are all introverts
shiva Srivastava Leave us alone.
In solitude or isolation.
2 years after I see the same video
And reply to my comment
We are all humans
Extrovert here
I listen to this every week to remember to take time for myself and mind. It's so rewarding, truly.
I've been a loner before smartphones and social media that now makes solitude cushy. I remember I was a teenager and I couldn't be around my friends for more than 3 hours. I wanted to go back to my room and continue discovering the miracle of electronic devices. Shortly I was selling radio devices and sound amplifiers made by myself at age 15.
I'm 38 now and I've mastered the extrovert behaviour. I can be the soul of the party but after that, I want to be alone for one week.
When I am alone, I can think, I can learn, I listen to myself, I can pray, and read, and know myself much better. I like to be with some people, but being alone, gives me peace.
Did it at work. Now I've got lots of time to do this.
Surrounded by nothing,
but the nothing was surrounded by us,
but it was just me in my room,
with my eyes shut.
Waah.. 👍
Thank god I am a introvert 🖤🃏
That’s life
I just love Solitude it's a gift and I love it, that's where I find solace...
Being in solitude is not only a blessing to the individual but also to the multitude. Because many good ideas emerge only from the solitude. Thank you.
Traveling can be lonely, have been backpacking for almost two years and living in hostels can sometimes be depressing
Travelling is the one experience I find lonely. You're out of you're comfort zone, lacking the material comforts and routines that normally alleviate loneliness.
Here hold my water-Ive been living in my car for the past 11 months seeking solitude. Actually at a turnpike rest area on route 80
Painful and joyful journey. I suggest seeking solitude. Seek it to the point it hurts but then becomes insightful.
Then you can move back into society different-hopefully for the better so you can be more of a benefit to society.
I long for solitude. I work retail (which I hate), grew up a loner, and I want nothing more than solitude for the rest of my life. I do not like people and never will.
I LOVE being alone! I've been responsible for, and around many people for pretty much my whole life. I began living alone in September 2015, and have learned just how wonderful it is to be living strictly on my own terms in my 60's.
Deep, fundamental ideas usually come to mind during the simplicity that our solitude provides.
I'll thank the YT Algo for this one. Damn fine job Niqolas. I'm an only child, raised two of my own and three step children. Had a HOUSE full for years which was an very odd thing for me, having grown up in solitude. Now all these years later, at 56, and especially this last Pandemic year, I've grown into solitude again. It is, very cathartic, at times challenging but I've definitely hit stride. In the last 8 months I've reignited my passion for tech with study in four new areas (for me). I've re-connected with my guitar and my voice and I've delved into quite a few subjects in both book and video format of which stoicism has been a central theme amongst them. Now, my birthday month, I see myself and where my head is, in a much different life. Thankfulness for what I have vs animosity of what I've not, hope where pessism and and despair once occupied. So yes, I'm living proof, not just this time around but many in my life, that Intentional Solitude as well as unintentional can serve man/woman very well. Thank you. Great talk.
I've watched this video two weeks ago and i did not get what he is talking about.
Now i am drunk and i can agree totally. I see that tie alone is what makes us. When there is no influence from our environment, in this very moment we are ourselves. I want to try take some time to be alone and strangely somehow I know, I feel that it is going to help me. I want what he is talking about. Peace and love. And that is what i wish to everyone. Be peaceful to the people around you and give and feel the love that there is. Thank you.
His voice is so calming...good words!
One of the most useful and intelligent video I have found on youtube.
I'm so glad I started listening to TedTalks in my spare time again. This is the type of stuff I need insight into. I really need a balance of solitude and time spent with others and striking that balance is really important for me to live a happy meaningful life.
I stare at the ceiling all the time. it's a great way to think!
In my alone time at least this summer am spending more alone time to read and meditate and really hear my inner voice. I hope that this habit continues when I get back in the workforce next week.
Every single word is truth..
This was lovely... his voice is so calming.
I love being alone. I need several breaks from people through the day.
Yeah that's the stuff we been needing. Solid talk. Every extrovert need to hear this.
I always thought I'm strange since I always been alone by myself and then got few friends in my teenage years just for when I was at schools and then when I was 23 years old I lost my mom and then I saw the world and I saw the true color of people since I was depressed because of my mom and my so-called friends stopped contacting because I wasn't feeling good. That was my wakeup call I still have one friend and I only like her because she's funny but not that reliable. But when my mom was alive I wasn't that outgoing. There's this incident on Feb 14 it was valentines day and I went to eat alone and the waitress was kinda shocked when I booked a table for one :D I don't like shopping but when I need something I always want to go alone. It's amazing to discover yourself as a wild happy person in solitude. Since I spent my time mostly alone with myself so I try to meditate to be positive else my negative thoughts will make me bitter and depressed!
This turned my life around thank you. INFP Sagittarius, moon in Pisces
What a pleasant voice
i got my dose of clarity today sweeping the leaves off my balcony patio in my PJs before noon, the static still air feels different at that time of day. Warming yet slight breeze of cool to keep the work pleasantly endurable.
if I don't get time to be truly alone, madness is result. however its magic when humans can access the deeper mind together, those are friends of the soul
You have a God-given gift of speaking. Very inspirational!
I love ❤️being alone most of the time...
Bro your voice is so soothing... Wish to have you daily at my bedtime story
I always feel my absolute best when I am in solitude. I am most happy, peaceful and content when I am in the good company of me, myself and I. Lol💞
To get a taste of what it will be like, I decide to live by myself since yesterday. I am sure that the coming years will be the best and full of life.
Beautifully spoken
really needed this
I practice the art of alone all day, everyday. Best thing ever. It is true freedom
You know you gave a great speech when you just walk off the stage when you're done 😆👏👏👏
Be Alone..
Be by yourself...
A state of mind everyone goes through...
Relaxing voice...
I am so with this. I wish there was a challenge.
my greatest blessing was being in isolation
I'm just 15 y/o & trying to how to live alone thanks for ur lectures bro🙆♀️
If you sat me in a room with an electric shocker for fifteen minutes I would probably use it... not because I'm scared of my own thoughts but because I am a curious person and usually like things that give me a buzz!
I am an extrovert but I enjoy time alone.
In India, be alone with urself is termed as meditation or 'DHYAAN'. And believe me, DHYAAN is something which make us to improve ourselves from inside. It make us to get efficient.
Beautiful
It is not about ''being alone'' but about ''introspection''.
I've always had a couple of close friends but I'm the most at peace & creative when I'm alone. It's true less stress! But I believe having friends is also important.
I do feel a little stressed when I am around people thats why I go Hiking or go to the beach listening to music
This is all that was needed. Won't give me.
Thank you 😄💚🌸
Going under for meditation alone probably before this video ends,i live alone im cool
Many ideas cultivate when you're are alone, only with your subconscious mind. I feel more myself with myself in isolation mood. And it's important to spent time with your self.
I enjoy being alone...
Introverts need what I call "Recharge time" and that only can happen when you are alone. A walk on the nature with good music is perfect for that. 20min by day will make an incredibly change. Trust me.
I spent over three weeks in the mountains with no human contact, I cannot explain seeing nothing but deer, bears etc all that time.
important talk, thanks
As King Crimson said-- "And though I count the hours, to be alone's no injury."