Catastrophizing: How to Stop Making Yourself Depressed and Anxious: Cognitive Distortion Skill #6
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- Опубликовано: 19 июн 2024
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Catastrophizing is a thinking error (aka cognitive distortion) that makes you anxious, depressed, and unmotivated.
In this video, I explain what catastrophizing is, how to stop, and what to do instead.
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Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC, and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
About Me:
I’m Emma McAdam. I’m a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and I have worked in various settings of change and growth since 2004. My experience includes juvenile corrections, adventure therapy programs, wilderness therapy programs, an eating disorder treatment center, a residential treatment center, and I currently work in an outpatient therapy clinic.
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I think catastrophizing can be a result of previously having a more positive attitude but getting burned repeatedly.
@CrunchAndMunch No shit. Easier said than done
true for me !! I have failed in every aspect of my life by now but I wasn't like that. I only anticipate something bad because of my constant experience of bad outcomes in past.
Yup, happened to me
CrunchAndMunch wow thanks, I’m cured of my depression now. If only I had thought of the great idea to just live my life in happiness.
I totally agree with you. I know that I do this to myself because if repeated bad things done to me. This video had helped me so much!
I am thankful I found this
If you're reading this please pray for me, Im loosing myself in this isolation....please
praying for us both
Praying for all who feel lonely!
praying for us!
how are you doing these days? hopefully you are doing better now
Same!
"You don't have to believe everything you think."
I love this 💜
Yes, I often consider myself the unreliable narrator, and disregard many of my irrational observations.
@@koleyw932 I sure need to start doing that 😁
This hits. I have a problem with really convincing myself that what I'm catastrophising about it is genuinely gonna happen because 'trust your gut'. I need to remember that not everything that I think about it real
You also don't have to believe everything that someone else thinks😌
@@janinesmith4553 can be even more important 😀
1. Get some sleep
2. Accept uncertainty. Build up emotional muscles.
3. Motivate yourself by what you want, not by what you fear
4. 1)notice catastrophizing 2)challenge those thoughts. Don't need to believe your thoughts, let them pass. 3) replace with more helpful thoughts. Other possible outcomes.
Number 3 is key! The best advice I've heard in a long time.
thanks asnoopy. You are literally doing Gods work and saving lives out here! Especially for people who cant pay attention to speeches on youtube!
5)Surround yourself with positive people. There aren't many but it works wonders.
This exactly what's happening... And I didn't even knew it.. I feel better now it was eating me
Thank you!
the only time when i think and talk positively is when someone else is worried or anxious about something
Edit: Since a lot of people have seen my comment, I just want to say that everything will be alright and you should all take care of yourselves. I'm doing better now and if I could do it, so can you! Reach out to family and friends, or a professional if you're struggling with something
God bless you 😇
@@damangaminghd1119 awww thanks you too 😌
Same here!! I found a good way to try to work around that, I like to pretend I'm talking to my younger self when I need some self compassion or self love.. it's not easy still, but I've found it works for me this way(you'd never say have the stuff you say to yourself to a younger version of yourself, would you?). Also helps heal the inner child, just a suggestion☺💜
Big same
same lol
i wouldn't wish this shit on my worst enemy. stay strong brothers and sisters, you're not alone.
Fr man
no cap death don’t have nun on this
Literally
Thank You.
Personally I am always puzzled when people use that expression. I totally wish this on my worst enemy.
I really thought that imagining the worse that could happen would make you feel better once it happens, because you haven't had much hope to begin with. It sort of became a principle in my life. I didn't realize it's a vicious cycle that keeps you continuously anxious, paranoid and alert all the time until I watched your video. Thank you.
This^
Same here!!
Isn’t the opposite just as bad as well? Being optimistic and continuously getting disappointed.
Me too
@@1SmokedTurkey1 why does everything have to be in absolutes? Both extremes are unhealthy. It’s about finding a balance.
I usually feel physically bad when I have a negative thought which interferes with me trying to be positive because that pain, nausea or bad feeling stuck with me very early making it hard to undo the damage.
@this is a username Thank you for suggestions and your kind words. We will beat this beast :)
I can relate 100% I’ve been stuck in a depression for years even the smallest task feels so overwhelming feel as if I’ll never be happy and I’ve lost all my friends but we just have to push on and try and overcome it , anxiety depression ptsd bipolar but I know that I am a good person and try hold onto any hope
@@michaelfarrell567 I am here for you ;) you can count on me as friend.
Same
One of my favorite quotes: “My life has been a series of misfortunate events…most of which never happened to me”.
I don’t know about tomorrow, I just live from day to day, I don’t borrow from it sunshine, For its skies may turn to grey. I don’t worry about the future, for I know what Jesus said, and today I’ll walk beside Him, for He knows what is ahead. I don’t know about tomorrow, it may bring me poverty, but the one who feeds the sparrow, is the one who stands by me. And my path will be my portion, it may be through the flame of flood, but His presence goes before me, and I’m covered with His blood. Many things about tomorrow, I don’t seem to understand but I know who hold tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand.
@@sirpopsticks619 beautiful 💗
Must be nice but some of us life in constant suffering.
That quote is amazing. Do you know the source?
@@MrAndriess I know who holds tomorrow
By Gaither Vocal Band
I googled it for both of us 🙂
thanks so much to the person who commented this❤️🙏
Please take her advice. I'm 68yrs old now and have been trying to change all my life. After 35yrs of therapy i'm living with the guilt of not beating this. Don't give up and remember , you are valuable
How are you doing now? I am sorry to hear you’ve been battling for so long and had to deal with the guilt of not finding lasting light...
Don't feel guilty. At least you are trying
you are trying and you are compassionate writing this for others, im sure you will be feeling better. I wish you all the best!
@@rosierose7059 thank you for asking. I actually try and live in the moment if that makes any sense. I don't think we are ever cured , but we can heal
@@Wellness1beauty thank you. I hope that people will just remember thar their lives are valuable.
"We suffer more in imagination than in reality."
-Seneca
"You have power over your mind - not outside events. Realize this and you will find great strength."
-Marcus Aurelius
I overthink for the worse. Then nothing happens. I wish I didn’t care so much. Just want to be and be normal or feel normal if anything.
You ARE NORMAL!!
Bro u are coming to normal if u notice the problem there is a solution to anything
Try to stay in the moment guys. Realize that all FEAR comes from thinking about the future or thinking about the past.
I just want to STOP thinking
@@2112res To quiet thoughts in your head, try practicing meditation. Sit in a super-quiet room with your palms pointed up and enjoy the silence. You will feel thoughts floating in and out at 1st. Eventually they will begin to quiet and be replaced by a calm silence. Remain "In the Moment" and try not to worry about the future or past as they only cause fear to spread. Also remember thoughts are simply information flowing through your body.
@@infiniteuniverse9528 Silence hurts my ears
@@2112res The optimal solution is to learn to become friends with your thoughts. Why fight against the flow of the Universe. An example would be how Stand-up comedians have thoughts in their heads all the time, but learn to use these thoughts creatively. Musicians, poets, screenwriters, artist all have thoughts flying in their heads all the time. However they have learned to express these thoughts in creative was. Your thoughts are what makes you unique from everyone else, and you should find a way to share them with the world. Both as a release and as part of finding your true purpose in life.
@@infiniteuniverse9528 I won't condemn your thoughts of universal flow, etc. It seems to work for you. I AM a comedian. At least I amuse myself, with my dark, dry sense of humor.
This is basically me 😂 My brain is split into 3; one part is ruminating, the other part is catastrophizing and the other part is fighting to prevent the other two parts from overtaking. Sometimes I feel like my head will explode
Exactly me lol! I know we will be free from this soon though, do not worry
Me three.
Four.
Five!
7🤣
I have totally been in the midst of this thinking/overthinking, catastrophizing, anxiety, and depression cycle. It comes from a necessity to feel safe. Great video!
Same here buddy, hope all is well.
Where have you been all my life?? 😢
Go talk to the boy you like
Mushrooms have been studied for their potential benefits in treating depression. Some types of mushrooms contain compounds that may have antidepressant effects.
The use of magic mushrooms completely helps one get over depression and makes you feel like yourself. Anyone know where I can source them?
@doc.coby is your guy he got all types of psychedelics.
Is he on instag
Yes @Doc. Coby
I put so much on my plate and it definitely affects my stress and anxiety levels
“You don’t have to believe everything you think.” Brilliant. These videos really help!
i havent watched the video yet , but this comment fixed me👀❤️
@@razwin6691 you are not your thoughts. You are the awareness.
@SR J meditation, self affirmations, journaling, listening to speakers, Quran
@@rehanfarooqui2071 how do I make myself truly believe this? I tell myself reaffirming thoughts like this so the time but they do nothing for me because I don’t feel that they’re true and I can’t let go of the negative thoughts/emotions. I also feel like doing these things will be a waste of my time because these techniques just seem too simple, and I sometimes feel that I’m incurable and unable to change.
She didn’t say that. In fact what you just did is what she is talking about. Listening to things and taking them wrong so that you never hear the solution. Perfect example dude.
I was always a worrier! Looking back, 99% of things I worried about never happened. Stuff happened I could have never anticipated. After 50 years, I finally have given up expecting bad things. I realized I cannot see the future, and I was making myself depressed and anxious trying to avoid pain, which usually never came. But I had screwed up the present moment! I hope others who read this and watch the video realize it much earlier in their lives! Sending love to all💜
I am 24 and must say that this is true. I worry about everything and rarely something comes true. And if everything goes alright and not as bad as expected I just feel "lucky". I dont feel like that it is normal that nothing bad happened. I more feel like it is my lucky day.
Thanks for sharing this. I'm gonna try my best to improve my way of thinking. Anxiety about things that could possibly never happen makes me feel without direction.
How did you stopped worrying? I am trying my best to avoid it but unfortunately the negative thoughts appear on a daily basis
We'll all turn into a pile of ASH fairly soon - so compared to that event why worry about trivia?
Pukpuk I started meditating, I listened to Landria Onkka, Abraham Hicks, Ram Das . Through spiritual practices I realized I am not my thoughts. Thoughts can be thought of as clouds which I can watch pass, without my self attaching to those thoughts or negativity. I used to take 1 negative instance and spiral my self into a deep depression. Now I just say, that’s interesting, and probably not even true. I don’t give the negativity power or feed it. I focus on a totally different subject I feel good about. I don’t watch the news, or much tv at all, really. I’m careful about what I put in my mind. I forgive others immediately when I get my feelings hurt, I used to retell what happened bad to anyone who would listen. I just refuse to feed negativity and my life has changed in so many beautiful ways!
Can we all just acknowledge that this woman is wonderful?! I know she makes money off these videos, which is a compensation for her time, but when you think of the amounnt of people shes helped that arent willling to or cant afford therapy its such a beautiful life spent !
I started crying when you said "You can do hard things"
I tend to go over every bad scenario in my mind. I think it’s because I don’t want to be caught off guard.
Me too. I think it's better than being naive. Bad scenarios seem to be much more prevalent today too.
I totally do that, I eventually completely block out the thoughts or refuse to let myself think about the thing I fear and just feel the fear of it without even thinking about the thing.,... If that makes sense?
the BIG ? is WHY? What is the root of this and if you remove the root, will healing take place after all the shame of wasted time and loss?
@@Joesfosterdogs As she said in her video (and from my experience) the root is frequently in childhood where you might have been told very bad things will happen if you don't do something.
That’s a defense mechanism which may not he healthy either. Trust me, I do it too
1. get a good night sleep.
2. accept the uncertainties of life and don't label uncomfortable emotions as bad; train your emotional muscles to learn to handle those emotions.
3. motivate yourself by positive goals and do things because you choose to do them and not out of fear or duty
I only work so I'm not starving & hopeless. So, yes I act out of fear every day.
@@sneakerbabeful I wish the best for you 💖💖🙏💕❤️🦋🦋🦋♥️👁️🧿🧿
@@sneakerbabeful Hope things become better for you, buddy.
👏👏👏
Exactly. WALK in the sun light. Early morning first 30 minutes of sun rise look into the sun and take it in deep breathing and don't close eyes. Never look into the sun after the first 45 minutes sun rise. Only before the first 40 minutes. IT WILL HEAL YOU.
I always have the philosophy of think the worst and then most of the time its not as bad so seams a bonus. I now totally believe that we create our own reality
It seems that the reality we construct is the result of our thoughts, behaviors, and actions. Certain lifestyles lead us to a lower state of consciousness, Hell, while others lead us higher, Heaven. It depends on what life we choose
@@TheJester-ct5pi 💯
Things can always be worse than whatever they are at any moment. Just as room for improvement always is possible or exists to. For me I am used to having horrible events or life circumstances befall me. So understandably for decades I thought the horrible things always would just keep happening. Even if they do your attitude can changing can make a world of difference. When it comes to dealing with adversity. It gets better through putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. Confronting the negatives no matter how insurmountable it might appear.
So true!
Our thoughts create reality. If we allow ourselves to think the world is against us, everyone wishes to crush our hopes and dreams - that does seem to lead down the road of self destruction which makes that thought a reality 🤔
Yep
I was a bed wetter for 42 years. I had cancer, the urologist looked in bladder. Found a skin tag over nerve pack. Dry since. Now stay with me.
I spent my whole life til 42 worried I’d fall asleep and wet. So I wouldnt sleep, or drink if I stayed somewhere . Talk about catastrophising. I finally have my self talk to almost always nice and I learned to expect what you get. MEaning I redirect my negatives and challenge them . Im not ashamed of the bedwetting. My Best friend since 9 is blind(since birth) he empathized that i had a disability and it is cured. that’s like him seeing .. Love to all
Her: Catastrophizing is....
Me defensive: I'm being realistic.
Same😬😀
Better to be realistic and anticipate future problems or developments than pretend that everything is fine and nothing is going on.
Y'all are a lost cause if you knew she made this before COVID then you knew she wasn't talking about it 😐 she's talking about fear of social settings because of fear of rejection. No mention of a pandemic whatsoever.
Totally. I’m starting to think it’s a fine line, bc being realistic can slip into negative projection . I’m trying to learn to look at the problem instead of entertain my “problematic thinking”. Since I’ve been focusing, I’ve improved some!
The truth is there IS a fine line between a realistic outcome and a catastrophist one. All anxiety is rooted in reality, it just runs away if we let it.
Like worrying that if you leave the house in a lightening storm that you might get struck by lightning.. it’s incredibly unlikely but shit it could happen.. is there a point in worrying about it? Not really! More chance of anything else happening 😄
When I am content in life, I start imagining “worst case” scenarios for minor things….it’s like worry is an addiction
Yep, like everything is decent and your afraid of that going away.
Exactly, my brain always likes to resort to thoughts like: "things are going TOO good…" it’s so exhausting
@@SaraLovesCats88 EXACTLY omg this also happened to me in the past prior to 3 weeks into my breakup w/ ex and when I did an excellent job at maintaining my academic things. Everything was going too well that I constantly getting depressed that i might lose all of it... and that actually happened :|
Worry is perhaps the greatest addiction there is. ET would say that "thinking" is the most destructive addiction that afflicts man, but too many people misunderstand when you use the word "thinking" without defining what you mean. For too many people, worrying and thinking are largely the same thing.
EXACTLY
You have saved my life, being sent from one mental health support service and back again and around to others in a time of absolute crisis! I’ve been stuck in a anxiety and panic attack loop for about 7 months, it just hasn’t stopped. Your videos really helped me understand a lot of what was going on and had been a constant source of uplifting and a positive reinforcement on the absolute worst of days, and even on the good ones. Thank you so much for all the time you’ve put in to your channel. Single handedly you’ve done more for a lot of people than an entire funded organisation can do. Bless you x
Powerful ✅👌
are you okay nowww? 2 years ago in quarantine I got a Gerd disease or hyper acid reflux, it caused a bit of pain near my heart ( esophagus ) and gave me weird headaches. Never have I thought I out of all people would get depressed. Ever since I was a kid I was always PMA always positive even in my dark days. But when I got my gerd disease I got depressed and anxious for 6 months straight eventually I got okay. But now it returned, I got gerd again because I ate unhealthy foods and due to lack of sleep once again I am depressed and anxious hopefully this goes away sooner than later. Do u have any tips for healing?
I have chronic kidney disease and recently found out my remaining kidney has gone through near complete shut down. Been so scared of my future since I have 3 daughters... Terrified actually. This video has been a great help. I didn't realize their was a word for what I have been doing to myself. Thank you so much for the insight.
John 3:16
For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
"Self fulfilling prophecy": I learned this concept in university. It's one of the most memorable psychological concepts that got stuck in my head. When you believe you can't make it, you won't make it - Your way of thinking solidifies itself in reality, because it influences very strogly how you behave.
@Brian Herren Same. Now I am 17, going to 18 …
thats why manifestation has some truth to it. you believe you are nothing you will become nothing. you believe in yourself and work hard you will get somewhere, maybe not exactly where you wanted to be but definitely better off.
@@suck6364 so before your life even truly begins? This is great time to hear it
Thoughts are things, not tangible but seriously powerful
Law of Attraction
My parents raised me to be fueled on fear, to let fear rule me and keep me “safe”, this “safety” is drowning me and I’m ready to come out a better me ❤️
the first step in coming the best version of yourself is recognizing the thoughts and habits that are causing you daily pain and anxiety, it's extremely hard to do that and i'm proud of you! i hope your reconstruction is successful and great self-happiness comes to you!
@@themuttsnuts09 well said, I'm working on that first step.
Oh sure, blame the parents. Nothing new.
Man I grew up with a mom who constantly told me anything I did that she didn’t like she would take me outside and show me the homeless drug addicts and say I would be them if I kept making mistakes and that I couldn’t get right and it would definitely happen
Good on you 💯 Confidence does not come from a sense of perfection, or "fail safe" environments. It comes from imperfect action, not taking oneself too seriously and maintaining a curious mind and observing and serving others.
"You don't have to believe everything you think"
That hit me so hard! Great video!
I am getting so much more out of these videos then I have with therapy. Thank you so much. Suffering with a panick disorder for the past year has been so hard, learning not only that it's possible to heal but how to heal is giving me so much hope that my future will be better. ❤ To anyone struggling know that there is hope for better days.
“We suffer more often in imagination than in reality” - Seneca
“He suffers more than necessary, who suffers before it is necessary.” - Seneca
“If you knew how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” - Peace Pilgrim
Seneca is full of gems even to this day ❤
That first one hit me man
Daamn I really like that second one
In all honesty, Stoicism literally saved my life. I wish everyone could read Marcus and Seneca
@@scvpest that second one is the story of my life
" you dont have to believe everything you think" that resonates with me. Thank you for sharing this video !
People don't choose their beliefs
Same with me 🙈
Look up Andrew Wommack's A Better Way To Pray and Within Heaven's Gates by Rebecca Springer 😇 Gifts.
@@Felix.Dragon. beliefs are different from just the definition of believing something, so yes you kind of can choose to change your beliefs. You can choose to try to stop believing the bad things you say about yourself
@@beelzemobabbity how can you choose to believe something? And if it's possible, could you choose to believe that the sky is red if you wanted to?
this video may genuinely change my life. as someone who cannot afford therapy at the moment, this channel is my saving grace. I am so passionate about all of this and learning as much as I can, and I can’t thank you enough for this channel and the content you put out. you are an angel❤
Sending Love 💕...Reilly...Are you single? ❤️🌹🌹
How are you now
I gained no benefit from CBT, but when my daughter had panic attacks, I gave her my CBT workbook with exercises. She found it very helpful. The best answer to these worries is, do the very best preparation, then don't worry. Once you have done all you can, worrying cannot change the consequences; it is a waste of time. So says the Sermon on the Mount, and Dale Carnegie's book "How to Stop Worrying and Start Living."
I feel you, but at the same time you can be stuck in a worry-preparing cycle like that if you feel threaten all the time. I think the extreme case of that is like a hoarder or OCD. You just can't prepare for every problem you imagine.
There’s an Erin Hansen poem that comes to mind with this topic:
“There is freedom waiting for you
on the breezes of the sky,
and you ask, ‘What if I fall?’
Oh, but my darling,
what if you fly?”
Whoever you are, may you find the courage to take the chance to fly
What's the name of the poem
This makes me wanna cry 😭 Thank you
Im actually crying now
@@fatimakhan4671 I believe it’s called “What If I Fall?”
Almost tear up ... That was nice to read.
Love this. Thanks for sharing
I always talked with my kids about “not turning everything into a crisis”. You can only handle so much. Seeing everything as the worst thing leaves us unprepared and too fatigued to respond to a real crisis.
Almost like dealing with the real world =[
I hade more on your words than the whole video. Thank you. I will save my energy for the real one
an incredible lesson to teach your children
This was very helpful to read, great perspective!
@@ThinkingChair xD
Ive been like this literally my whole life and i haven’t been able to keep friendships because of the way i am, i didnt really see that the problem was the way that i just sunk in my negative thoughts unconsciously thank you for that, I will try to remind myself of that destructive behavior everytime i feel like the world is falling apart thank you so much this helped me a lot because i do want to be better
Typing this with some tears in my eyes. I've been on a catastrophizing spiral because of some unexpected financial setbacks and a streak of rotten luck. I needed the clarity of your words to lift some of the burden and make me think a bit more rationally and kindly. Thank you!
I'm a "what if" person. I can play out a scenario from beginning to end in my mind, and in reality, experience all of the emotions and anxiety in my body. I feel fearful and angry about the scenario I made up. I'm also thinking of ways to prevent the scenario in my head from happening in reality. It makes me feel unsafe and that the scenario is inevitable. I always think the worst will happen. It's so tiring. I'm glad to find out there is a name for what I've been doing and that other people experience this too. Catastrophizing...I thought it was just in my nature to be worrisome and stressed out. I sometimes believe it's a personal strength that I can imagine of all the worst things that can happen, like a psychic, so I can prepare ahead of time for the worst. My husband is the opposite, so level headed and grounded. I'm so fortunate to have him in my life! I've done this for so long I don't know what it's like to have a peaceful, quiet moment in my mind.
* P.S. Let me just say that I am fully present and in tune with reality. My thoughts take turns into different scenarios, possibilities and outcomes that are based on REAL possibilities. I am a deep Thinker, a Skeptic and and a realist. I don't believe in any of the gods, angels, fairies, heaven, hell or Satan and that the Bible is a magical book inspired by any Devine being. I read the Bible for entertainment like any other book so Bible thumpers although I am prone to catastrophizing I catastrophize about REAL possibilities. Groveling to a magical sky daddy that you cannot detect in any measurable way and trying to convince others to see something you imagine that you see, hear or believe you detect when no one else can is a different diagnosis. You'll have to refer to the DSM for that. I catastrophize, I'm not delusional.
this is exactly what happens to me, good luck!
@bina nocht thank you, that is helpful.
I can relate from the first to last word you typed. My husband is the same and sometimes wished to be like him. I too prepare myself for the worst and thought I could think of every worst scenario in the world. Don’t worry we got this. Hope everything is well so far. Don’t forget it’s okay to make mistakes, as long as you pick yourself up.
Same for me at most times, and my boyfriend has a similar way of handling things like your husband. It’s more annoying for him though and he doesn’t like that I go to him with all my worries, buts, and ifs. Of course I get emotional with all those thoughts and I get irritable, anxious, and so on :/ I’m trying very hard to change not only for myself but also for my relationship.
@@AmoreMiu I don't know if certain people are more prone to worry than others. I'm a Virgo. Although there are a lot of things I don't understand about astrology, and some of it is probably hogwash, I must say that I identify with most Virgo traits. Worrier, critical, analytical, over thinking, intelligent, perfectionist all mixed in with my life experiences. I think I make things hard by trying to get a head start at solving problems that I anticipate I will have rather than going step by step and waiting to see what happens without jumping the gun. Thank goodness my husband helps me think through things and I feel so much better when he puts things into perspective for me. I know it annoys him at times. Sometimes he doesn't know what to say but he doesn't show frustration. He can tell when I'm heavy in thought because I get super quiet for long periods of time. Then he asks me what I'm thinking about and I let the flood gates open. 😆 Thank goodness he has stood by me through it. ❤ Men, in general, are simple creatures. They only think about what's important in that moment and they aren't as emotional as we are. When they hear what we are thinking they probably get overwhelmed because they can't believe we can juggle so many thoughts at once and they simply don't know how to help us relax and snap out of it. That's probably why your boyfriend gets annoyed is because he feels helpless and he doesn't know what to do or say to help you. Sometimes just holding you and listening is all he can do and sometimes that's all we really need. It helps when they can make you see where you may be going too far too fast and try slow you down and help you think about things differently. Sometimes though, they just feel helpless and hearing us just makes them irritated and frustrated. Maybe let him know you're not trying to annoy him, you just need to vent and talk and you trust him. You're not asking for him to fix you, or to have the answers, but just to listen and give you feedback, if he has any to give... it takes some of the weight off of them. 🤗
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon.
This is a great saying. Thanks for sharing!
Courage and Stupidity are two sides of the same coin.
Amazing quote
@@Kosinuss Very true like this saying I read.
"There is courage... and there is foolish bravery"
"The bravest person is NOT someone who fears nothing. It's someone who's willing to face what he or she fears most!"
-Unknown
"We suffer more often in imagination than in reality" - Seneca
But we have nothing except imagination to do u don't need anything just brain
I've had so much anxiety recently and could not figure out why, this explains so much. Thank you for posting this, it helps a lot.
I’m in an infinite loop of questioning everything. I feel like I’m watching my life through a bubble. My body and mind feel disconnected.
Right.
Same here
Thats called dissociation or Derealization. Look it up. I was in it for a year and a half. It is ABSOLUTELY possible to get out of.
@@jacklichtner9581 you have any tips. Or anything that helped. I’m literally living in hell
@@ytho2654
pray to Jesus. no joke.
ask to have it removed
I feel like it is a never ending loop, I feel it gets better and then I just go down a loophole again thanks for the vid
Yeah, just as it gets better and you forget why were you worried it goes back to being shit just to remind you.
Nevertheless stay strong
i feel like that too man, i try to think of it as gaining a balance. The extreme highs of getting better and the extreme lows of spiraling into anxiety and depression can be recognized and mitigated,
over time the bad is not as bad
and the good is not as often euphoric,
but, isn’t that the goal? to be balanced?
i think so
The Bible says, 'Be careful for nothing;' Careful means, full of care.
Of course, for those who do not know Jesus, worry and anxiety will be part of life. Those who know Him know He is in control of everything.
"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." (Mathew 11:28)
'And they said, *Believe* on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved, and thy house.' (Acts 16:31)
'He that *believeth* on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.' (John 3:36)
I have this same problem but it also happens worse with friends and family. I googled it and it’s called Abandonment Issues. For some reason I feel like I have to overcompensate to people because if I don’t they’ll leave forever. Then it’s worse the day after because I’m always thinking did I do good enough as a son/friend? And when I don’t hear from the throughout the day it spikes out of control and I cant get my anxiety under control. Im smoking cigarettes again because of this. Anybody care to give some advice? Please, I don’t want to take medicine because of this
I have this same problem but it also happens worse with friends and family. I googled it and it’s called Abandonment Issues. For some reason I feel like I have to overcompensate to people because if I don’t they’ll leave forever. Then it’s worse the day after because I’m always thinking did I do good enough as a son/friend? And when I don’t hear from the throughout the day it spikes out of control and I cant get my anxiety under control. Im smoking cigarettes again because of this. Anybody care to give some advice? Please, I don’t want to take medicine because of this
this single video has been more helpful than 4 years of therapy, thank you. I related to every word of this
This channel has helped me more than I can even say. The two main ideas that have stuck with me that I use all the time to manage my catastrophizing are keeping the What Ifs out of my head (by identifying them and redirecting focus) and the practice of willingness.
“Start with a good nights rest”
Bro I can’t sleep
*The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - Here’s a guided meditation for you. Take care of you. **ruclips.net/video/tzxHr48bz1o/видео.html*
Get melatonin!
Helps :)
@@katyfallon5324 honestly for me it’s impossible to sleep and i just rather not sleep as well. If I don’t sleep then I have more time to myself. Sleeping is good but sleep consumes a lot of time which can be used to do other things.
Me too, I just can't sleep. Then I start worrying that am unable to sleep 😂
@@miminatosha4888 i haven't slept in 3 years
"...then die homeless on the street" literally all my thoughts end this way
Same it’s almost like, let’s just get it over woth
@@rosierose7059 sometimes I wonder. Take heart though. I hope your day/year/life gets better. Challenge your thoughts. I'm trying this technique. It's not perfect but "what if bad thing" and say "that's weird brain, why are you being dumb?"
It's not 100% effective but it let's your brain know it's not perfect with perfect thoughts lol
OMG saaame. This is my worst fear. But hopefully, we will overcome it.
@@Authorthings It takes lots of confronting and challenging negative thoughts for them to go away, but it's worth it the whole way through. My meditation teacher told me that you have to look at your trash before you take it out. Recognizing thoughts for what they are and not reacting to them feels uncomfortable, but over time they just lose their sticking power and eventually stop bothering it. Persist and you will overcome.
U are luky, my thoughts are way more wierd.
This is awesome. I took a class that introduced this thinking error of catastrophizing. Hearing you talk about it I can hear the voice of many of my loved ones. I shared it with them and I am really appreciate you explaining it so well. I can see where I have done that and where I have improved.
Thank you for this great video. I’m a catastrophizer because my mother is the queen of this so I learned it. The other day I came home in tears from work. So I needed this!
This whole comment section shows we all desperately need a way of collectively healing our nervous systems 💕😭
I have suffered from severe social anxiety and depression since forever, I'm 25 now. The best thing we can do is to improve by 1% per day, don't go all out on trying to fight it. It's a long battle
You're right, it's a long road. Some days 1/2% is all we can improve. Or even not going backward
100%. It's hard to remember sometimes, because it's exhausting.
Wolfie it is not necessary to wait any longer, replaced the negativity with God's word, this helped me to be calm and think better - hope it helps you too - ruclips.net/video/5G6Nh4VvSR4/видео.html
Mine started at 40. I am 54 now. I have given up. Thinking of ways right now to end my life.
@@sayyer10 We just got to make best of what we got. If anxiety started at 40, that means before that you knew how to live without it. So just try to use all that experience to your advantage
I had been looking for ways to get the courage to embrace life again since 5 months ago. You are right in that I grew up with the church and parental units using fear to try to motivate me, but it actually severely demotivated me. I had climbed out of anxiety years ago but 5 months ago I had gone through a traumatic accident and everyone has been overly protective of me, not realizing that it is very discouraging and increases my anxiety to move on with life. This is exactly what I needed. Thank you!
Your videos are so clear and straightforward, and you also present in a very natural, conversational way. Thank you. Listening to you feels like a one-on-one with a therapist that cares.
Whenever I see something so joyful I think of what terrible things can happen after.
Same! How do we combat this?
@@christinecajilla5904 its difficult to completely ignore, but we can label these thoughts as non important and just shake them off
@@Daniel-jq5yi yeah that’s exactly what I do.
I know! And the terrible feeling of thinking something bad will happen to your loved ones. You realize how much you love them , but then how quick all good go away. I personally think I will never get nowhere, or that I will never be happy for too long. I don’t wish this on anyone.
You guys might find something useful written by the Thai monk Ajan Chah. It's called "the cup is already broken" and, to me, is an excellent way to turn fear of loss in the future to gratitude right now.
"this is uncomfortable, but it won't injure me" so helpful to soothe the anxiety as you notice it rising.
I've never found videos like this helpful for my anxiety,most of them being not even worthy of watching. But this was different and makes me feel like I can work on myself and I'm not terrible or my life is not in absolute danger. Thankyou, whoever you are.
"If we expect the worst we can prevent it"
I literally think like that all the time thank you telling me that it's not a solution for upcoming events in my life 🌝
6:46 is me. I often ask myself what is wrong with me. Why does my brain work this way? I feel so frustrated that I cannot control my anxious thoughts even though often I logically know they are irrational.
Carla- it's really so amazing when we start to realise if serves us to no end all this worrying and what if....
*The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. - Here’s a guided meditation for you : **ruclips.net/video/tzxHr48bz1o/видео.html*
Same with me
This is exacting what I’m experiencing at the moment and it’s exhausting. All day I try to combat my negative limiting beliefs with positive thoughts and it feels like I’m making a thought sandwich in my brain. Do you have any advice on how to silence the mind at will and emotionally detach yourself from negative thoughts?
@@cerealis_5432 still waiting for the answer
Imagine being that McDonalds worker who clicked this in order to resolve his anxieties but got terribly roasted instead.
😂😂😂 He's probably swing from a tree as we speak.
There are a LOT of worse jobs than McDonalds.
ALL work is honourable.
🙈🙈🙈🙈
Audi e-tron great...really not a great thing to see...bringing back a really sad memory of what my fiancé had done. 😭
Dr. Emma, you're an angel. Honestly, you've helped me so much throughout my battle with anxiety. God bless you
this is exactly what i needed to start my day, i had learned all of this in therapy and i had forgotten, but this is something i have to be mindful of all my life. thank you so much ❤
if you’re watching this know that i’m extremely proud of you whoever you are
thank you kind stranger
You’ve a heart of gold Eva 😊❤️
Thank you, I cried reading this
@@zawinnajahyusri8356 of course
Thank you ...wow I'm currently doing my first year in varsity ...preparing for finals but in a bit anxious 😣
Visualize a STOP 🛑 sign when your mind goes to negativity.
Lol I would be thinking of nothing but a stop sign then
What works for me is to very conciously turn around at what I'm reffering to when I say I. Exacty what. Even if it takes few minutea I search and search.
So it’s true our thoughts trigger the chemistry in our brain?
We cannot stop those thoughts. We have to stop giving them power. Focusing on not thinking something makes u think it.
Your*
Thank you so much. I cried a lot. This was like therapy for me. I need more of this in my life. I need kind thoughts and less negative one.
I came across this video at the perfect time. I'm in my first semester of college and it's a huge adjustment. I've been having a lot of anxiety over several thigns, and my social anxiety has been troubling me way more htan usual. Coming across this video by chance felt so good.
I frequently have this fear that I'm going to lose my mind, even though rationally that is untrue. Stay strong friends.
I also share this fear..it’s quite a vicious circle to think that then try to apply rationality to it. I drive myself crazy. Stay strong also!
It will get better brother.. love for you❤️
this is how i’ve been feeling for the past year, like i’m trying to hold on to my sanity but reality always proves to me that i’m not actually losing it. it’s such a weird headspace to be in cus you’re really doing it to yourself, lol. you stay strong as well.
It's called dementophobia, I've had it for years. One of the things I'll do is convince myself I'm on the verge of hearing voices or seeing things that aren't there. It gives me intense anxiety everytime and it hasn't really gotten easier, but I have found ways to avoid the thoughts that trigger this feeling over time. We'll push through bro
Hey, it could happen to any of us but we don’t have to stress out about it.
My method when anxiety comes is to treat it as a kid, another part of me that hasn't mature yet, I always think of something positive to talk to him and calm him down.
this is helpful
@@josannelascuna9898 Glad I can help you😁
I think you’re on to something here, with the child reference. 👍
this is part of T. A. transactional analysis.Parent,Adult.and Child
@@robertjsmith Thanks man, I didn't know that! That's right, my mature self are mostly copied from motivational speakers that I look up to
You'll never know how much you have helped me with this video. There's no way I can thank you. Muchas gracias.
She is spot on. I worry about everything, it's so exhausting. My therapist does not even talk about this. I'm taking this ladies advice.
I'm literally mid catastrophizing in my head when I turned on this video. It's certainly helping. Thank you
same here. i hope you’re feeling better!!
Word me to
*What is if, the worst has happend? What is if, your worst expections became true?*
I always struggled in school. I barely passed high school. After that I workled my ass of to start college, since its a requirement where I live, to get a somewhat decent job. Like in school I didnt write good enough grades to get my degree - despite I worked a lot. I even changed my major three times. But nothing helped. After five years, I left coolege without a degree. I used all my savings. For nothing. The only job I could find, was as a cashier at a local fast food restaurant. I work there now.
Despite that I suffer from loneliness. I never experienced love. Every single girl rejected me. I never had a hug, a kiss, a date or a realationship. I go alone to bed, I wake up alone. I need to pay everything by myself. The few friends I had have left me to start a family. But I dont blame them. I would have made the same thing.
I am lonely, poor and slowly sick because of this constant failure in my life. And the worst thing:
_I never "catastrophid" anything. But it seems the catastrophe came to me. Yikes._
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 wow, I hope everything gets better soon 👍🏽
Good thing you said "literally". I'd hate for anyone to think you were speaking rhetorically. Or hyperbolically. Or ironically. Thank you for making that distinction.
“Accept uncertainty… I can do hard things” needed to hear this today. Thank you! 🙏🏼
Wake up to reality, nothing ever goes as planned in this accursed world
Edit: thats what i thought when i heard that
Ask emma if I can ask emma a question tell her
U can tell them to be more serious, of why u wanna ask a defiant question..
Thank the lord videos like this exist.
I was so confused and it felt like my brain was trying to figure something out constantly over and over, I hated it.
It also felt like I was overthinking to many things in one minute.
But now I finally have the answer, thanks for uploading this and helping others understand.
That's one of the most honest & insightful video I've watched this past decade.
Well done Emma !
Many of us have been formally taught to think of "the worst case scenario".
In fact, there's a saying "Expect the best, but be prepared for the worst."
it's considered a smart way of running your life.
However, you're right - it is depressing to think worst case for every situation.
I think its just a matter of state of mind, you can't read 'expect the best' and think of the worst already.
being prepared is not about living through the worst in your mind over and over, but being strong and able to adapt, accepting the nature of life
Yes, I agree. I picked up the habit from my mother, who picked up the habit from her mother... I am bound and determined to change this generational trajectory!
A Buddhist saying goes, 'imagine the glass is already broken.'
Yep. As a programmer, I’m trained to expect the user will always do what they should not. I believe this contributed to my catastrophic attitude towards life.
Expect the worst... Hope for the best....
i’m crying so hard right now bc the thing that i’ve been doing my whole life had a name all along. i feel relieved and validated bc it’s not only me who does it and there are actual ways to heal from it but at the same time i feel sad and devastated bc of all the things i ruined for myself and other people bc of catastrophizing 🙃
*What is if, the worst has happend? What is if, your worst expections became true?*
I always struggled in school. I barely passed high school. After that I workled my ass of to start college, since its a requirement where I live, to get a somewhat decent job. Like in school I didnt write good enough grades to get my degree - despite I worked a lot. I even changed my major three times. But nothing helped. After five years, I left coolege without a degree. I used all my savings. For nothing. The only job I could find, was as a cashier at a local fast food restaurant. I work there now.
Despite that I suffer from loneliness. I never experienced love. Every single girl rejected me. I never had a hug, a kiss, a date or a realationship. I go alone to bed, I wake up alone. I need to pay everything by myself. The few friends I had have left me to start a family. But I dont blame them. I would have made the same thing.
I am lonely, poor and slowly sick because of this constant failure in my life. And the worst thing:
_I never "catastrophid" anything. But it seems the catastrophe came to me. Yikes._
do u wanna talk ab it love?
@@ceooflonelinessinc.267 im sorry bro. i hope you'll find your happiness in life. i relate to you ab the working hard to get good grades and yet not getting what u expected. but pls try to think positive. if u wanna talk im here
@@userm180 Where u from?
I'm right here with you! 🖤 I feel the same way. Glad I can realize now before I ruin anything else.
This video made me stop catastrophizing starting from now and that is really helpful for living a positive life not 5 years later or in future but right away from this moment. Worth watching video and worth living too
This spoke to me so much. This has been a coping mechanism for me. I’ve had this in my watch later for so long but I have just watched it. I’m a horrible ball of anxiety anger and fear but I have my glimpses of happiness haha.
I have a real hard time feeling positive about something because so many times in the past when I have, something bad immediately happens. It's almost like the universe (or whatever) senses my positivity and decides I've become arrogant and slaps me with some unforeseen setback. It's happened so much that it's made me afraid to think anything's going to turn out well.
Oh my! Just like me!!!
brother try vipassana meditation
it will surely help ur life and will change ur life around..just give it a try
it goes to the roots of our overthinking and helps us remove it and calms our mind
@@ilupillu4915 thanks
Yeah same here. Its like my destiny or whatever is against me
Catastrophizing” perfectly describes my view of life over the last twenty five years.
It has kept me frozen frequently - afraid to do anything because I expected a disaster if I did anything.
It started off as kind of a joke - expecting the absolute worst - so I could be “pleasantly surprised” when the worst case scenario didn’t happen.
Experience did not make me learn to be more positive - it just continued the stupid self-inflicted mind game.
I’m getting better - but still have a long way to go,
Glad I'm not the only one. : )
I feel ya sweetheart! Same boat! I hope the best for you!
I remember having the same 'pleasantly surprised' rationale as you when I was younger. I used to think back on that reasoning to reinforce the idea of expecting worst-case scenarios because if you expect the worst, you're bound to be pleasantly surprised, right? I never realized how detrimental that thinking can be.
I have to say I'm impressed. I was putting this video off for a good while because I just didn't think I'd need it. I thought I had everything under control despite knowing that I didn't. I knew what was going through my head but I didn't want to face it. I wanted to crawl into myself and hide from my problems. Having just finished this... it hit me hard. I always do this to myself, either talking down or hitting myself with what I perceive as horrible failure when really it's just a drop in the bucket. Having Autism, Anxiety, and maybe Depression has made my life quite difficult.
I just can't help but see every failure as a mark against my soul. But now I think it's time I take a more positive outlook. Remember that I have come far from nearly dying when I was in the hospital after I was born. I thank you for this video since this has opened my eyes. I thought I had it all figured out but it turns out I don't. I may never be able to control everything I do or what happens in life but in the end that's okay. I'm not stupid, I'm not a failure, I'm just me and I need to accept that. Accept that I have flaws and that they don't mean I need to be punished for it.
I thank you again for this video and I'm not sorry I went on a rant. I think I needed that. Have a good day or night!
I've only just come across your videos and I am really impressed with what I think is great accuracy on the subjects you've covered on videos that I've seen. This video absolutely sums me up and you convey the information in a very professional and calming way. Thank you so much, I'm sure that you're helping loads of people.
I’ve been with my wife for almost 5 years and she has always had this mindset. Everything you described down to the T has described what’s happened. Her parents were constantly treating her like that and she grew up in a broken home. I just sent this to her and I just wanted to say thank you. Helping me as a husband, better understand my wife and what she needs for support and growth.
Thank you for being there for her, the fact that you found this, watched it, and sent it shows so much support for her already. It's the most you can do for someone in this situation, support and understanding.
I am so glad that you are doing this for your wife! I wish more spouses did the work to understand their loved ones lie you are! Kudos to you for being a great spouse!
Any update on her situation?
I suggest you watch Crappy Childhood Fairy
@@TheTurbanatore all journeys are different
I suffer from this intensely daily. It's a curse it feels. I even play scenarios that never come true. Very depressing.
I was exactly like this. It is possible to change. Keep watching these videos and practice the things outlined in them. We can rewire our thoughts.
Who is better than you? Nobody! You have helped me a lot! Thank you, for your amazing skills! May God bless you and your family abundantly!
Thank you so much for your videos, they’ve really helped me with this anxiety period I’m going through at the moment
Fear has always been my motivator. Life sucks when it's full of fear and self-hatred.
Same, man. Recently I realized that most of my 31 year life Is driven by fear... Just don't beat yourself up over it, at least you can see it and admit it 🙂these are the first baby steps to growing and healing. You can do it, my guy
I literally just need a genuine long warm hug from a person I love and I’ll feel all better. The longer I wait and the more time that goes by, this wound just kinda grows bigger and bigger. And bigger.
Same, honestly, it sucks to deal with this and not have positive reinforcement from many people
Closest thing you can get to that is a nice big spoonful of marshmallow fluff I says to ya
I wanna give you a hug
Hug yourself and tell yourself how much you love and appreciate yourself. Ever do that?
Wish I was there to hug each other bro, because I've the same wound, but don't let these bullshit thoughts dictate your actions (same applies to me), hope to see outrselves healed (update me and I will do the same) !
Thank you! I hope you're having a great day or night wherever you are!
Your video is so helpful to me. Thank you so much. The reason of my catastrophizing is because I have been motivating myself through fear all the previous years till today. Even though I tried very hard till mentally tired, That kind of anxiety never goes away. After watching your video, I now understand why I feel this way. Thank you. Starting from today , I will motivate myself by what I do want and , notice my negative thoughts and try to replace with more helpful positive thoughts. You really are a life saver.
A previous therapist taught me that I’m always looking for chaotic situations because of my PTSD. I’m so used to feeling and being in scary situations so I automatically create similar scenarios in the present day. Living like that for so long left me with the idea that being in healthy/happy situations are extremely uncomfortable and not normal. I usually expect the worst and overthink people’s reactions and I walk around so afraid of everything. I like this video in the sense that it addresses these issues.
How are you now? Did you got help?
@@remotecontrol655 its always a work in progress
@@norissamelanie-jeanalleano1651 lets progress to healing more! ❤
Oh my goodness Norissa! You could have written that about me! I have CPTSD and I’m always imaging worst case scenarios and even feel comforted and normal when I have a real one to deal with. Wow. I’m having a self realisation moment.
Me too, it’s so horrible isn’t it 😔 wishing us all healing
"Stop worrying. Things could be worse" they said. So I stopped worrying and, sure enough, things got worse.
I was worrying about being worried...
Sorry,that sounds funny 😂😂cos it happens to me too all the time
The trick is to realise that worrying is completely alright. Nothing will happen to you if you worry. And exposure reduces it...
@@yelena.is.my.savior1547 well that's me
same I just like my old days where I had fun with friends but now im just depressed 🥺
This woman communicates these ideas so effectively.
I appreciate your down to earth narrative. And you have a soothing voice. You also get into the nuts and bolts of it without going around in circles. Thank you
GO TO NATURE PEOPLE. LEAVE YOUR HOUSE. go to hills, woods, trees, streams changed my life. Peace from England UK
In wilderness is the salvation of the world. Pavement is evil.
Really? What if you are already in the street bancrupted and homeless???
@goawaken afriend well you go do that and try it and then advise it narcissistic
Thank you for this reminder! Especially these coronavirus shutdown days.
@goawaken afriend You are right,I'm here to help them also
The media reporting fuels negativity, doom and gloom.
The Pandemic is fuelling depressive and anxious thoughts.
Very difficult times
Too true we all have to turn it off.
Very. I thought I was over, or least dealing with, my depression. Then boom, outta nowhere. But at least we can find healthy ways to heal, so I'm grateful for that.
I usually could deal with anxiety pretty well until the pandemic, I mentally collapsed
Robin replaced the negativity with God's word, this helped me to be calm and think better - hope it helps you too - ruclips.net/video/5G6Nh4VvSR4/видео.html
I struggle with this too. What helped me (it's not a complete fix, but it has helped massively) is to choose one reputable news source and read/watch it once a day. Don't let yourself disappear down the rabbit hole of links to increasingly sensationalist reports (I know that's a lot easier to say than do); just read factual, accurate news for a short time every day, then get on with your life.
Thank you so much. This really helps me a lot!, I was suffering because I used to expect the worst will happen. You made me realize that in the end it won't be as bad as i expected. So thank you
i just received a text from one of my friends that said “ we need to have a chat”
i instantly started thinking of the worse and started panicking, thinking that they want to stop being friends and want to split up. i was so stressed out that i searched up: i’m anxious.
this was the vid that first showed up and i watched it. instantly, when u said “thinking the worse invites the worse.” (or something like that) i started thinking to myself: hey, maybe it’s not so bad?
so i responded and it ended up that they just wanted to say how one of my friends was play fighting me and they felt a bit scared for me. i did explain i was alright and that i’ll tell them to calm it down a bit. so glad i watched this and i feel a lot better❤❤