How ADHD can affect your relationships

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  • Опубликовано: 29 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 201

  • @theminiadhdcoach
    @theminiadhdcoach  Год назад +36

    Are you in love currently 🙈?

    • @Em-fh1nr
      @Em-fh1nr Год назад +3

      Yes❤

    • @hannaamodiig
      @hannaamodiig Год назад +9

      no, i have never been in love. sometimes i feel like there’s something wrong with me and i can’t fall in love.

    • @Dawn_444
      @Dawn_444 Год назад +1

      Yes but not in a relationship

    • @marsdriver2501
      @marsdriver2501 Год назад +2

      @@hannaamodiig I thought so as well, but a random girl 1500km away from me proved me wrong lol (there wasn't any relationship, duh, but this does show life is unpredictable)

    • @LiselReinick
      @LiselReinick Год назад +7

      yes and my girlfriend has ADHD so i'm trying to understand this as good as i can

  • @chrisschwab7696
    @chrisschwab7696 2 года назад +231

    I think the emotional dis-regulation probably plays a much bigger role in relationships. I don't know if anyone else has the problem but this, Impulsiveness, hyper-fixation can sorta blend in with my emotions and my obsessions.

    • @exzoticxiaoyu5713
      @exzoticxiaoyu5713 Год назад +8

      OH MY GOODNESS. YES. My boyfriend literally canNOT deal with my explosive anger. It’s like every week now. And then I try to explain to him but then no words form cuz my 🧠 is all messed up! 😣

    • @rnopes21
      @rnopes21 Год назад +6

      I agree with you. It definitely shows up front and center in relationships, wether it be romantic or plantonic. Anything that involves complex give-and-take, emotional dysregulation plays a huge role.

    • @marciesalkowski8139
      @marciesalkowski8139 Год назад +2

      its the frustration they have with not being able to handle life taken out on me.. we both have it

  • @Hjkmovingpics7007
    @Hjkmovingpics7007 Год назад +25

    The most sad thing about having ADHD is that it will affect the relationship. When i think back of my relationships there were always moments my boy friend couldn’t understand my reaction of being angry.
    My mum I assume she has ADHD as well, it is really difficult for us to communicate. I wanted to make up our relationship, maybe I could learn from here.

  • @michaelbevan1081
    @michaelbevan1081 2 года назад +101

    sometimes I don’t think I should be in a relationship, and I don’t accept having it, I feel shame having it

    • @iamdoctorcat6347
      @iamdoctorcat6347 Год назад +12

      Same here. Im keeping learning how to be better

  • @amyj.4992
    @amyj.4992 Год назад +74

    But the general feeling is, neurotypical people I've been around openly expressed how it's like dating a child or how stressful it is because they are giving more than they are getting. How we feel like a responsibility, so rejection sensitivity becomes a thing to observe and challenge as well

    • @leludallasmultipass
      @leludallasmultipass Год назад +17

      Slow claps forever. A forever adolescent that you have to continually parent and train but they never learn.

    • @k.__2662
      @k.__2662 Год назад

      @@leludallasmultipasswow youre acting like you were never once a child and that your own parents didn’t have to put up with you for 18 years probably till this day they’re still worrying about you. I hope no one takes that away from you and you learn to love others fr. I’m sorry that you have had that experience with someone who had ADHD but your comments all over here show your true colors, you remind me so much of my ex who was incredibly hateful towards me. I’m sure they felt like you described and it breaks my heart because back then I didn’t have a diagnosis I just knew I had a problem you probably were with someone who wasn’t managing, wasn’t aware or the adhd was so out of control it was hard for them to see, or it was even ruining their life. FYI fighting and enduring extreme stress with a partner who is against you causes you to LOOSE even MORE MEMORY - symptom of ADHD. I had to PULL myself out of that unhealthy situation. I’m lucky I found my husband, the most loving and empathetic person I know till this day. The day I told him I have adhd and I forget things, he set up alarms, bought me things to find my keys, and never once called me forgetful or lazy like my ex husband did (it ended terrible with he) almost 5 months after my divorce I met my now husband and from his words alone “I’m the most mature, loving, empathetic, beautiful woman he’s ever know and adhd only made him fall in love even more” so yeah for all my adhd people if you’re really struggling with life, get out of the messy relationship with the person who basically will resent you , and instead focus on yourself , apply yourself and when you help yourself , universe HELPS you! Sends you the right people ❣️🫶🏼❣️

    • @Gavalixy
      @Gavalixy 8 месяцев назад +6

      This is what I feel like and I hate it. I feel like a child that doesn’t want to be one anymore. I don’t want my girlfriend to suffer with what I do so I’ve been considering medication.

    • @Fayeelstob5807
      @Fayeelstob5807 7 месяцев назад +2

      This is exactly me my relationship is struggling right now and I feel like a third child for her to look after, but going to the doctor's means a massive waiting list so nothing will change before it's too late, I hate it ​@@Gavalixy

    • @spookylittlebat
      @spookylittlebat 4 месяца назад

      I saw this study on parents of children with ADHD and what effect that had and it seems that it’s very common for ADHD kids to induce a stern parenting style, which then exacerbates their ADHD symptoms, which tends to make the parents even stricter… on and on it goes, a downward spiral. And when I saw this, I realised that the same thing seems to happen with my relationships, as though they view me as the child and them the parent, but not the nice supportive parent I need. Well, this study suggested that both stern and lax parents needed to move towards the middle, so that’s what I mean by supportive. An acceptance of what can’t change, a safe environment to try to do better in, sometimes different approaches, listening to my needs, not just telling me how I should be, which is only really creating impossible standards to keep feeling like a failure over, that sort of thing.
      The thing is, compromise is always needed, both sides should be trying, but which side can adapt and compromise easier, the neurotypical or the neurodivergent? And don’t you think the neurodivergent has had a lifetime of trying to fit into a neurotypical world? What makes their expectation of this any different, beyond feeling even more of a failure for disappointing somebody you care about? Relationships I choose to be in should be safe spaces to be myself. I will keep trying to fit into a neurotypical world ‘cause I don’t have a choice but to, but my personal relationships should be accepting and understanding spaces. Empathy should go both ways. Effort should go both ways. They just shouldn’t get into a relationship with a neurodivergent person if they expect to change them, to fix them, to mold them into the image they think they should be. They can help them do better, but not by taking the same approach as the rest of the world. And maybe it’s time for neurotypical folk to put some effort into doing better themselves. We think differently, not one thinks superior to the other. One just has the privilege of being in the majority and never being expected to accommodate. Despite them being more capable of adapting. Just nobody expects them to, so they tend to feel entitled not to have to. But, if you bring that attitude into a relationship with a neurodivergent person, it will quickly deteriorate.

  • @cisne9222
    @cisne9222 2 года назад +122

    I find it relatable honestly, during my relationship. I struggled at times talking to my girlfriend about how I felt and if it wasn't for communication. We would have ended badly.

  • @xephonian
    @xephonian Год назад +32

    Thanks fot all these videos! The girl I'm in love with has ADHD and I've so far always give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to some of her ADHD tendencies. I feel that her ADHD makes it quite difficult to have meaningful text conversations. Even during calls she'll lose focus or get bored. I love her but sometimes it can be hard. We aren't officially dating but hopefully things work out between us! I'm willing to learn as much as i can whether it be as a couple in the future or just as good friends! 😊

  • @BecomingVonnie
    @BecomingVonnie Год назад +66

    I’m so upset that adult adhd is so hard to get diagnosed

  • @IsaacTendo
    @IsaacTendo Год назад +31

    “Try and not take it personally”… HA!

  • @escalatorjourney3458
    @escalatorjourney3458 Год назад +64

    I'm dating a woman that has adhd and right now it feels like she lost interest in me. She has a lot of short term hobbies and it feels like I am one of them.

    • @yiannislee8382
      @yiannislee8382 6 месяцев назад +8

      Your wrong she is overthinking everything

    • @SynthDecay
      @SynthDecay 5 месяцев назад

      Update?

    • @aaronwilliams1245
      @aaronwilliams1245 4 месяца назад +1

      Couldn’t have said it better, hope you’re doing well 🤞🏻

    • @melissagutierrez8137
      @melissagutierrez8137 3 месяца назад +1

      Thank you for saying this. I have it, and i'm pretty sure this is how my boyfriend feels.

    • @escalatorjourney3458
      @escalatorjourney3458 3 месяца назад +1

      Turned out I was right. I got ghosted out of the relationship. A few weeks after I talked to a friend of hers who told me, she did the same thing with her last boyfriend.

  • @FaithReconstructed91
    @FaithReconstructed91 Год назад +33

    My friends, never make excuses. If something you are doing is negatively affecting you and others (especially those close to you), take ownership for it and make an effort to get better. Don't ignore it, don't let your heart be filled with pride, laziness and stubbornness and do nothing, etc.cause you WILL regret it. But at the same time, be patient with yourself and do it at a reasonable pace. This is something i need to remind myself of too. Enough said!

  • @Zach1221
    @Zach1221 4 месяца назад +4

    I have ADHD myself and I had a relationship with someone who also had ADHD. We got together immediately because we not only could relate to each other's problems, but also fix each other's problem well and that made us both almost the perfect couple. But alas our ADHD affected our personal life and we both had to go our seperate ways. We still have contact with each other to this day as we both still dream of trying again when our personal problems are settled

  • @5andwhy
    @5andwhy 2 года назад +36

    You just described my whole life in 5-minutes. I'm the one who struggles with ADHD and honestly I'm only now learning about it I literally do every one of those things you said in that video especially zoning out being distracted my memory well let's not go there lol. Thanks so much I'm going to learn as much as possible help my relationship. ❤️🙏

  • @andreajohnstone9269
    @andreajohnstone9269 Год назад +291

    Interesting.. When you try to communicate with a partner who has adhd.. They have rejection sensitivity.. So they see everything as a critism!! Exhausting

    • @aq-hf2se
      @aq-hf2se Год назад +12

      *criticism

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Год назад +95

      Not necessarily, depends on how you're wording it. But it kinda sounds like you weaponize things against them.

    • @paula19335
      @paula19335 Год назад +88

      No offense, but I the way you talk I think you may have a fault also😅

    • @jeffreyt02
      @jeffreyt02 Год назад +33

      Yes, as an ADHD partner myself I can imagine it’s exhausting.
      Practicing communication without verbal violence together is a great start to making it flow better. It’s so easy to be accidentally aggressive while communicating

    • @leludallasmultipass
      @leludallasmultipass Год назад +19

      @@Heyu7her3obviously you’ve never been on the other side of the maddening crazy making that the constant being triggered creates. All the person did was have a lived experience and you decided it was her fault Hhmmm. Sounds familiar.

  • @clairehackett6693
    @clairehackett6693 Год назад +46

    I am the Neuro typical partner and all I do is try to get us both educated on this stuff so that we can function better as a partnership and be more considerate of each other. My boyfriend with ADHD however refuses to do any research on his Neuro divergency or make any changes. His lack of organisation, planning and thoughtlessness causes me intense stress especially as a woman who due to socialisation find myself already taking on more of the mental load. This is exasperated by my partners ADHD..I'm constantly cleaning up after him , planning both our lives and feeling disappointed as I can't focus on my goals because I'm worried about all these other little things on my own..it's lonely and frustrating and all of the resources say I need to be more understanding. There needs to be more resources that take gender stereotypes into account and help those with ADHD consider their partners stress load without blaming the ADHD partner. I'm just so drained I feel like this relationship has me ten years. I want to feel like my male partner can care for me and it feels like I'm his carer which also makes me not want to have sex.

    • @jedidahburke1529
      @jedidahburke1529 Год назад +11

      I completely relate to your comment. I’m currently in the same situation and my partner is 7 years older than me. However, the stress and pressure throughout our relationship has made me feel like 10 years older. He refuses to put in the work and research his adhd. I do the research for him and he still doesn’t care. Idk what else to do at this point. I am beyond drained.

    • @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811
      @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811 Год назад

      Try sex. It fixes things.

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Год назад +11

      Dump him

    • @paula19335
      @paula19335 Год назад +10

      As an adhd person, I can agree with him on his forgetfullnes and not being organised (I don't know if I will ever be able to do that).. however, I don't agree with him not trying to look up for help in order to improve. That's just ignorance and to much ego

    • @AnoneyAnon
      @AnoneyAnon Год назад +3

      Then leave him

  • @malik3205817
    @malik3205817 9 месяцев назад +5

    It was a problem at first she told me about it. I learned a little bit and a little bit at a time from watching videos such as this communication thing isn’t the problem for me. It’s a good thing I’m extremely nonchalant patience, so I’m going every day one step at a time, and understanding her condition more and more it was a little bit hard at first because I felt like the relationship was completely one-sided but after watching a few videos of how to deal with it, I know it isn’t her fault

  • @Daavrr
    @Daavrr Год назад +7

    Thank you for this video. My AuDHD has impacted really important things, and it sucks. Hoping to get better and find someone to love me one day and be patient with me despite my shortcomings.

  • @KyokoToshino-hp5gb
    @KyokoToshino-hp5gb Год назад +9

    I do not really have the problem of talking to much but paying attention, zoning out and the like as well as forgetfulness are huge problems. They thankfully have come to notice when I zone out usually before I even do lol. Our biggest issue is when I do get the sudden impulsive urge and their anxiety can't handle it but I try very hard to control it. Doesn't always work but I do try.

  • @noturaveragehermit6958
    @noturaveragehermit6958 Год назад +7

    I was diagnosed ADD when I was young but I also was diagnosed other things that were never really told to me.About 4 years back I was diagnosed ADD,ADHD,anxiety,ocd,ptsd,depression.Lately I have been thinking it is very possible I am also on the Autistic spectrum.I just wish someone could have told me what was wrong with me and how to deal with it.Basically my 48 years on this planet has been nothing but mental and physical pain and in the end it was all pointless.Even though my gut feelings were right every time but still quite naive.Maybe if someone had told me I was not the same as everyone else I would have never put myself in those situations in the first place or even attempted the feeling of love.

    • @leannegwakeling3177
      @leannegwakeling3177 Год назад +1

      Hi Noturaveragehermit. I hear you. I was diagnosed last year at 62 and have felt like I didn't fit for most of my life. Have you been doing anything in particular to address your collective symptoms? I have been along the various conditions trying to figure out why I felt and acted the way I did. My reactivity is definitely a reflection of Cpstd. I've been through OCD, I have been exploring ASD, though have discovered my ASD traits fall to one side of the options, and are the ones that overlay with ADHD, eg sensory sensitivity, explosive emotions, reading challenges. I began learning about myself and changing my neurology when I began training to be a coach. I have discovered there is a connection between childhood traumatic experiences and the emotional dysregulation that can keep going into adulthood. It's taken effort, and I am no longer explosive. I definitely relate to the stories in Adult children of Emotionally Immature Parents. I am also fairly convinced my mother has ADHD (attention deficit) which meant she was explosive, and that influenced my growing experience. I trust you find the pathway for you. I know it is possible to up level the future despite the gaps in our past. Best wishes.

    • @noturaveragehermit6958
      @noturaveragehermit6958 Год назад

      @@leannegwakeling3177 😀TY

  • @Nstrumentalist1986
    @Nstrumentalist1986 Год назад +52

    I'm a man. I'm a man with Adhd. Please do not feel sorry for us. I learn. I've failed and loss relationships because of this. We are not regular people however we know we have it and most choose not to fix there potential negative impulses. I chose to fix mine.

    • @TheTweenlicious
      @TheTweenlicious Год назад +4

      how did you fix your negative impulses?

    • @skylar2173
      @skylar2173 Год назад +5

      Everyone has their own battles. It’s how you attack them that matters. I love people that have the attitude that nothing “happens” to them, but there’s just something they need to work through. Good on you, sir

    • @AnoneyAnon
      @AnoneyAnon Год назад +2

      Not everyone knows they have it growing up

    • @RSY873
      @RSY873 Год назад +1

      Thank YOU for your honesty

    • @Nstrumentalist1986
      @Nstrumentalist1986 Год назад

      @TheTweenlicious walk away and or lots of apologies.

  • @JojoSherrill
    @JojoSherrill 2 года назад +52

    Had to watch this multiple times because I kept zoning out :/ thank you for the information 🙏

    • @5andwhy
      @5andwhy 2 года назад +2

      I found myself so distracted started counting money I had on the table then I was going to play with the fire when all I really want to do is listen to this🙈🙈

    • @exzoticxiaoyu5713
      @exzoticxiaoyu5713 Год назад +4

      Omg same here! I had to watch this at least 7 times! And I had to keep rewinding 😮

    • @ingridtoro7500
      @ingridtoro7500 8 месяцев назад

      Wow same! lol

    • @socire72
      @socire72 2 месяца назад

      Surely no one with ADHD genuinely thinks like this? I have ADHD and I just dont talk like this. Seems weird to me imo.

  • @danielrosenfeld4053
    @danielrosenfeld4053 10 месяцев назад +3

    My problem is that she's never communicated before and now with my adhd getting worse, she's withdrawn and says she's unhappy. I think it's the end of this ride.

  • @FeiiRain
    @FeiiRain Год назад +5

    Even tho both of us do, ive tried and gotten to where i can just abt stop myself from doing these things to them,... But from them its as if they dont try to fix the situation no matter how may times we adress them. They never want to do anything with me at anytime, butstill try to assure me they ❤ me😢

  • @Gdad-20
    @Gdad-20 Год назад +9

    Over stepping, not recognising, or even respecting boundries.
    Personal, Private, or Practical. ADHD Push all boundries, sometimes on purpose, if any social disorder is lurking.
    Romantic love isn't always the intention of adhd! Relationships with an adhd'er can be very one sided and quite selfish/self surving.
    No one size fits all.
    No one strategy as far as communication, works for everyone.
    Flexability is key. 🧡💙

    • @Gavalixy
      @Gavalixy 8 месяцев назад

      Extremely disrespectful man. You sound like you have lots of friends.

  • @sugarplum3743
    @sugarplum3743 Год назад +5

    Me and this person are offically dating now but we both have Adhd, sometimes i overthinks thing too much and sometimes he does too he also sometimes forgets to text and i text long messages, this video helping me alot to understand myself and my partner !

    • @marsdriver2501
      @marsdriver2501 Год назад +2

      I am not alone with this bad texting habit :DDD

  • @niecybernard523
    @niecybernard523 6 месяцев назад +2

    I havens gotten diagnosed with adhd yet but a lot of these videos as an individual and as a couple , they all call out to being me. And with family member being diagnosed with me , it makes me wonder. But I want to move on with this by my side and correct what I can along the way. I just don’t know here to start.

  • @alexwheeler550
    @alexwheeler550 2 года назад +30

    These videos are so helpful and I hope to see more I can see collaborations with How to ADHD and Psych2Go in the future. Can't wait to see this channel grow. :)

  • @SynthDecay
    @SynthDecay 5 месяцев назад +2

    Something people don’t talk about: hyperfixation on a PERSON. This can end really badly if unchecked. You have to perpetually reality-check yourself on your take of them, and remind yourself that they’re not actually perfect, and there will be others similar somewhere out there if they end up not being right for you. Keep your expectations reasonable, so that when something doesn’t line up with your “fantasy version” or them, it’s not jarring.

    • @socire72
      @socire72 2 месяца назад

      100%. I would really love some strategies to deal with this. I have ADHD and it’s terrible everytime. I feel a overwhelming sense of doom everytime as i know that if i dont do anything the hyperfixation will overtake everything and itll fail.

    • @farflownfalcon1076
      @farflownfalcon1076 19 дней назад

      I was on the receiving end of a hyperfixation. At the time, I was ignorant of how ADHD was playing in to the situation. The hyperfixation lasted long enough for me to fall in love with her completely. When the fixation ended and she lost interest in me I was devastated.

    • @3pace22
      @3pace22 8 дней назад

      @@farflownfalcon1076Man same! I’ve never dealt with someone with ADHD until this year & I brushed it off when she first told me about it but you’re right once that fixation runs out & you’re no longer new to them they’ll look for ways out

  • @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811
    @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811 Год назад +6

    Alright someone help me with this puzzle. Both me and my gf have ADHD. I’m obsessed with her, and often talk way too much to her, especially when texting. She, on the other hand, I feel like doesn’t really pay attention to me. I know she loves me, but she often doesn’t show it and it becomes really, really frustrating. I’m just recently finding out my condition and still piecing the puzzle together. I don’t really know who to talk to about this…

    • @marsdriver2501
      @marsdriver2501 Год назад +1

      not an expert in these kinds of stuff, but there are surely some online forums with people who can help

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Год назад +2

      Because she's inattentive-type (+ likely introverted) and you're hyperactive-type (likely extroverted)

    • @marsdriver2501
      @marsdriver2501 Год назад +3

      I have returned with more real life info, lol. You probably figured this out already, but whatever xd.
      So I am kinda dating an girl with ADHD and social anxiety (I have ADHD as well), she has problems with her habits of not talking to anyone for like for few days/weeks (she is on antidepressants tho). She is just not used to talking everyday routinely and I have the same issue xddddd (it was either talk all night, or forget that someone exists for a week). In our dates I can clearly see from her body language (and her regular language as well) that she likes me in some way, but it's harder to see over texting. So I have asked her how she feels about our rare texting, she said she would be fine (and probably good for her) with me texting more often. So I now try to send some memes and a conversation can happen out of that

    • @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811
      @fishlythoughtsanimationstu6811 Год назад +1

      @@marsdriver2501 good luck man, keeping working together.

  • @DarthOrion
    @DarthOrion Месяц назад

    I struggle with not taking stuff personally. I've been a terrible partner to be honest. This video was really helpful. I'm going to sub and try to learn what I can.

  • @mmohseni69
    @mmohseni69 2 года назад +8

    Thank you so much for your generous sharing ❤️🙏

  • @HipsteryDibstery
    @HipsteryDibstery Год назад +6

    I have realized that someone with ADHD does not pair well with someone that has relationship anxiety.

  • @boyandcatmum
    @boyandcatmum Год назад +2

    These videos keep coming up in my feed so I thought I would watch this.

  • @susand6249
    @susand6249 Год назад +2

    Hello. Just want to say you have such a calming voice. Ty for info too

  • @snugsaffie
    @snugsaffie 8 месяцев назад

    My forgetfulness (I am diagnosed with ADHD) is causing a few problems in my current relationship. Because of RSD too I sometimes get fearful he will just leave suddenly even though he's guaranteed he won't. It's tiring for both of us sometimes to be honest.

  • @MidgetMan491
    @MidgetMan491 5 месяцев назад +1

    My problem is that im terrible at making plans with my partner and its not the doing the plans (as in go on a date) its the whole actually getting it planned out because my partner feels like they always have to plan everything and i feel guilty everytime because i also forget to plan anything

  • @amberrraach1911
    @amberrraach1911 2 года назад +25

    Im so impulsive with my money and say things I don’t mean to my husband so much :(

    • @SelinaCat
      @SelinaCat 2 года назад +1

      I hope you are getting coaching and help to face this stuff so you can find your own way to own it, and then take control. Good luck! We can do it! It's worth it!

    • @exzoticxiaoyu5713
      @exzoticxiaoyu5713 Год назад

      I am soooo in debt with all the things I’ve been spending on omg, just the other day my bank account was down to 0.63 CENTS… 😑yeah I’m a college student, which is way worse.

  • @beaono8997
    @beaono8997 Год назад +4

    I have adhd and 1sr time i came to this channel but bc ot is soooo slow i had to go back like 3x haahha in the end i just put 2x sleep

  • @stefyguereschi
    @stefyguereschi Год назад +2

    THANK YOU FOR YOUR ACCURATE EXPLANATION

  • @JustAGentlemanZ
    @JustAGentlemanZ 7 месяцев назад +3

    RELATABLE!!!!

  • @arfnrhfz
    @arfnrhfz 11 месяцев назад +2

    Thanks for the tips and techniques ^^

  • @OpEditorial
    @OpEditorial Год назад +5

    The other option everyone has in these situations is to end the relationship.

    • @leunamreyo3663
      @leunamreyo3663 6 месяцев назад +1

      I refuse to let my ADHD cupcake go. I'll do whatever it takes to manage with her.

    • @OpEditorial
      @OpEditorial 6 месяцев назад

      @leunamreyo3663 Then try the carnivore diet, chances are they're eating way too many carbs.

    • @socire72
      @socire72 2 месяца назад

      @@leunamreyo3663that’s sweet

  • @Halah.S
    @Halah.S Год назад +5

    What a calming voice 🌺🌺🙏🏻🙏🏻

  • @Theoneandonlyrealspiderman
    @Theoneandonlyrealspiderman Год назад +11

    I feel bad for my partner..my ADHD impacts it so bad..

  • @Adelle_Dunlop
    @Adelle_Dunlop Год назад +6

    I Started Dating someone with ADHD and this really helped me.
    Thank you ❤

  • @m07cc07m
    @m07cc07m Год назад +9

    And this is why all of my relationships fail...I am the problem.

    • @kristeneichhorn6913
      @kristeneichhorn6913 Год назад +1

      I can definitely relate to your statement. However I don't know if it is entirely true. Yes it is possible that sometimes you are the problem but I dought it is always true. It takes both people in the relationship to work at it or it won't work. I have had the belief that I was the problem in all my relationships but then I came to realize that I was always the one who was expected to make all the changes necessary to make it work too. For example, my boyfriend's were always jealous of my guy friends so I either had to loose my friends or my boyfriend. I MADE THE WRONG CHOICE EVERY TIME and lost all my friends eventually. I should have kept my friends and ditched the looser boyfriend's. I'm guessing that maybe you faced similar issues meaning you were always expected to change your behaviors, and yourself to suit their needs and wants. Yet they were never willing to change any of their behaviors, telling you I er and over that you are the problem and you have something wrong with you. Over time you come to believe you are the problem when I'm fact the problem is that you are the only one making changes and compromising to their benifit and never getting Anything in return. This of course leads to disappointment and resentment most likely showing up as anger towards your selfish partner who then throws it in your face telling you it's your own fault that your angry all the time and they don't know what they did to deserve it. This is ALL manipulation. They wanted to control you and for a short time maybe they were able to, but your not stupid and once you figured out they were playing you for a fool you got pissed off and put your foot down. Them they dipped out and left you blaming yourself for yet another failed relationship. Don't blame yourself, you can only be half the problem I'm any relationship because both people have to put the time and effort in. Good luck to you and I hope you can find someone who cares for you as much as you do for them. Don't waste your presious time on people who don't deserve it. It's better to be happy alone then miserable with someone

  • @kevinlloyd5813
    @kevinlloyd5813 Год назад +2

    I can never seem to find any info on scenarios where both partners have adhd diagnosis 😢

  • @ItzzNovaOfTheNight
    @ItzzNovaOfTheNight 2 месяца назад

    Struggling right now because every time I’m not around the person I’m dating I feel so sad. Not just missing him but like I was so happy around him and all my friends, I get home and what I do I do? I just do nothing and wait till I can see them again. It’s like a drug withdrawal. It makes me want to eat loads of sugar and get new hobbies and constantly try keeping my dopamine up. Otherwise I’m so clingy and we’re not even an official couple, we just dating oh my goooodddd😭
    How do keep my independence ? This stuff is hard man 😔

  • @zeliph
    @zeliph 10 месяцев назад +4

    Trying to date and flirt with women while having ADHD traits is a uphill struggle.

    • @socire72
      @socire72 2 месяца назад

      100%. Sometimes it works for some reason

  • @iamdoctorcat6347
    @iamdoctorcat6347 Год назад +5

    I have adhd. My friend refused repeat. And he blame me said its my fault

  • @Ricky-ge9zj
    @Ricky-ge9zj 5 месяцев назад

    Honestly it's not that it's just we always distracted and always keeping our distance and not really talking about our problems which is why it affects our relationships especially if you're a guy with ADHD but it effect everyone else differently

  • @yarinbranth8358
    @yarinbranth8358 2 месяца назад

    forgetfullness is not always about physical objacts, it can be also about names, dates, and other stuff!

  • @michelafortuna7003
    @michelafortuna7003 Год назад +2

    Hi there - I am starting a personal journey of awareness on ADHD. I’m 30 and both in my family and in my relationship there were problems of lack of organization, awareness of time, mess at home. My partner is constantly frustrated with the mess I make because basically I start a task and I finish it in the middle. I feel so sorry for him :( my only hope is to find a way to cope with those difficulties so if anyone had advices please let me know. At work (I have a job in the creative field) I have tried with the Pomodoro technique and it works a bit because I can finally concentrate. Do you wear a watch? Do you set alarms to complete tasks?

  • @socire72
    @socire72 2 месяца назад

    Are there any functioning long term relationships involving those with ADHD? It feels like there isn’t. Haven’t seen anyone mention one

  • @sofialu226
    @sofialu226 Год назад +2

    I've watched some of your videos about ADHD. And I relate a lot to many of the things you say... And I think my Mum has it too... Guess I will ask my Therapist 😂

  • @honeybee9229
    @honeybee9229 6 месяцев назад

    I recently found out I have ADHD and I've known I've had it since I was little, I have memory problems, oh no, I forget what to say 😅 so I need to focus again, oh yeah! I'm losing interest I've tried many hobbies and many fields, finally figured out what I want and not make me bored easily .. I'm in a toxic relationship, my partner doesn't understand me and thinks that I don't care about him but he needs to see this because I forgot to mention that I have ADHD, I've been going through a lot lately he criticizes me harshly and I feel a bit lonely also recently he told me that I talk too much because I always write for him a lot of messages 😔 I'm just feeling sad and angry all of the time and I spend all day crying because I'm thinking that he don't love me and I have no idea what do , because I couldn't end it and leave him.

  • @cherriemay528
    @cherriemay528 Год назад +2

    A rocky relationship with family sucks for me😅

  • @Lulu-zf6wx
    @Lulu-zf6wx 9 дней назад

    How about relationships with both having adhd?

  • @Boxiebee-v9d
    @Boxiebee-v9d 9 месяцев назад +1

    Alot of people don't understand and I've lost a few friends because of my ADHD. I'm a very emotional person and over think alot So My brain gets scattered a lot and I've lost really good friends

  • @Namelesszxc
    @Namelesszxc Год назад +13

    Hello guys, I just started educating myself about ADHD and I am humbly asking for some advice and help cause my partner has ADHD. Our relationship is fresh and not that long yet. I starting to notice the signs and It may embarassing to admit but I usually overthinking it. Sometimes when I talking or telling some stories, about my day or something about me I feel she's not interested and sometimes she's cold. It kinda embarassing to say but sometimes I question myself If shes falling out love? I dont want to overthink it thats why i started education myself about ADHD. I really need some advice. Thank you!

    • @Heyu7her3
      @Heyu7her3 Год назад +5

      She's zoning out. Attention deficit

    • @paula19335
      @paula19335 Год назад +1

      Zoning out is the main symptom of the adhd.. she can't help it

  • @Crey12321
    @Crey12321 Год назад +1

    I have a question. There's one person with ADHD (that's why I started to educate myself about it) whom I wanna confess love to. Is there any advice someone can give? About how to do this and is there any extra risk? Should I do this face to face or maybye a phone/video call would be better? What should I say? People with ADHD often have rejection sensitivity but in this case I am badly scared of rejection 😅

  • @yellowpillNP
    @yellowpillNP 9 месяцев назад

    Can’t be a disappointment in a relationship if there isn’t one to begin with 👌🏽

  • @theona3726
    @theona3726 11 месяцев назад +3

    A little disorganized come on now I am extremely disorganized

  • @roxlikesmusic
    @roxlikesmusic Год назад +2

    how do i tell him without being annoying or asking for attention

  • @Username_copied3
    @Username_copied3 Год назад +3

    What if you both have ADHD ?

  • @Silentkittey
    @Silentkittey 9 месяцев назад +1

    My husband doesn't want to talk. He feels therapy won't help and there's no point. It's really a hard time in our life together. We just had our first baby and he's losing interest in both me and our child. He's scared everyday and can't go outside. Please any fathers out their with ADHD can you help me try my very best for my husband. What did you feel your partner couldn't understand during your really dark times and what helped you feel like they were finally listening to your needs?

    • @Silentkittey
      @Silentkittey 9 месяцев назад

      I'm doing as much research on articles online and RUclips to have a better understanding of what he's going through and how I can help him in anyway I can. Since discussing it is hard for him and he doesn't want to talk to much about it anymore. He wants to do it alone.

    • @josecamacho877
      @josecamacho877 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@Silentkitteytough situation I’m a guy with ADHD and recently diagnosed and when I told my SO she left me immediately with no opportunities for me to better myself and maybe all you need to do is communicate that hey we need to talk because if we don’t then it makes me feel very stressed and is affecting my mental health and maybe try to tell him about the magnitude of the problem as in hey you need to get better/help or we may need to end things but don’t say that because as someone with ADHD that seems from like a really long time from now so it wouldn’t make him want to make a difference but kind of suggest it

  • @Thefreakyfreek
    @Thefreakyfreek Год назад +3

    You guys get relationships ?

  • @mikolajedras
    @mikolajedras Год назад +6

    Welll... I tried notes and alarms on my phone buuuut... it doesn't work cause i see an alert and basically a few seconds later i forget about that

    • @maggiegeeee
      @maggiegeeee Год назад +2

      That’s because you didn’t do the task right as the alert came on your phone. ADHDers have time blindness. We’ve all heard this: there are tasks that must me be completed ‘now’ and ‘not now’. By ignoring the alert or alarm the moment it went off, you turned what should have been a ‘now’ task back into a ‘not now’ task. Sure, benefit of the doubt would say you were probably doing something very important at the time that you could not just drop at a moments notice to complete the task you had set up the alert for, but a simple solution to this would be to enable a snooze option on your alarms on your phone so that instead of turning OFF that alarm when it eventually goes off, you only snooze it, which means your phone will REMIND you every 5-10min of that same alert. ❤😊😊

  • @shedrickwallace9363
    @shedrickwallace9363 28 дней назад

    My ex recently told me she has ADHD and now I understand some things that just didn’t make sense to me.

  • @ianjames3078
    @ianjames3078 7 месяцев назад

    I just get bored in conversations unless I’m talking…….although I sometimes cringe at how long I’m talking and I see the listeners losing interest. I’m either full on or full off. Tiring for everyone.

  • @Legalthccartstore0
    @Legalthccartstore0 10 месяцев назад +1

    👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻👆🏻..... For introverts with ADHD, this could mean finding a space where your mental health, introverted tendencies, and ADHD attributes are appreciated and nurtured.

  • @Earth-_-quake582
    @Earth-_-quake582 Год назад +2

    Good advice

  • @pattyhernandez5338
    @pattyhernandez5338 Год назад +4

    Yes I understand my boyfriend so muck more ❤

  • @jesterfoxxhorror666
    @jesterfoxxhorror666 2 года назад +5

    Underrated

  • @emnajbeli3388
    @emnajbeli3388 5 месяцев назад

    thank you

  • @chrissy1997
    @chrissy1997 3 месяца назад

    We both have adhd 🥹

  • @sampy901
    @sampy901 4 месяца назад

    It's a struggle.

  • @kanizfatemashammi2143
    @kanizfatemashammi2143 Год назад +4

    My husband wants divorce from me because I have ADHD

    • @chainad5626
      @chainad5626 Год назад +10

      Me and my husband are also getting a divorce in our case he is the one with ADHD and he always tell me to go away and that he does not want me when we have an argument.. its so toxic that he is killing me.. so I am granting him his wish of leaving him eventho that he will wake up the next day and try to fix things. But I tried now I am lost.

    • @paula19335
      @paula19335 Год назад +6

      ​@@chainad5626 literally be happy that is ended.. if he can't understand you, you will never be happy with him

    • @paula19335
      @paula19335 Год назад +7

      If he can't understand you, what's the point? You don't want to waste your life being judged

  • @longlegs2121
    @longlegs2121 6 месяцев назад +1

    Yuck. This puts more pressure on the non-adhd partner, rather than the person with adhd making improvements. Getting diagnosed with something does not give you permission to be perpetually incapable of being a dependable, emotionally mature partner. I loathe how the forgetfulness in this video leans toward events. The reality is that it is much more regular than that and it erodes the non-adhd partner. Small tasks are forgotten or done the exact opposite of what was talked about. From putting groceries away, to picking them up from the store, to saying “you said you liked the black one the best and hated the red!” when really they’d said the opposite. People with adhd in relationships lean too hard on the diagnosis as an excuse to never be reliable/personable. It leaves the other person feeling rejected, undervalued, and burdened by the extra weight in the relationship. Should one person have to always feel like they need to micromanage the adhder’s tasks? That doesn’t work for anyone. Should the non-adhder have to just do it all because they know there will be a fight when their partner forgets or does it wrong and then can’t accept fault? So exhausting. Not to mention the zoning out when you’re talking to them or the lack of awareness when they get into “talking moods” and don’t actually pay attention to/pursue their partner’s engagement/interest/involvement in the conversation.

    • @WinstonSmithGPT
      @WinstonSmithGPT 5 месяцев назад

      Lmao this video sounds like someone occasionally forgets your mother’s favorite flower. Yeah no. The forgetfulness extends to forgetting the subject of the sentence that I am currently still speaking. 😂😂 How can you decide if you need extra rice for your takeout order when the person you’re ordering with forgets you’re ordering takeout halfway through the order? Who else in your life do you speak to and they simply don’t respond as if you do not exist, and they do this every day multiple times a day, because they forget what you said one half of one second ago?

  • @JillStaples
    @JillStaples Месяц назад

    Impulsiveness = cheating in my relationship with a ADHD fella

  • @cc3online
    @cc3online 6 месяцев назад

    lol

  • @BLo-z4n
    @BLo-z4n 8 месяцев назад

    She sounds sonsincere in the stupidity.... . think before i speak. 😅. Why didn't I think of that. We are adults if those simple things ARE NOT WORKING FOR US. It's. A SYMPTOM

  • @abluecatthatcanread8491
    @abluecatthatcanread8491 2 года назад +2

    Beep

  • @ryutou-ki4dl
    @ryutou-ki4dl 2 месяца назад

    lmao im watching the video and i zoned out and right when i remembered i was watching this i was snapped back to the video and hear "if you feel yourself zoning out, try to be honest about it" around 3:41 ahhaa