As a former public school educator, I cannot agree with you more on the need for psychopathy education at some point in the K-12 system. Thank you for your diligent work in sharing your knowledge and your message.
The covert is so dangerous because by the time you have it figured out they’ve destroyed you. Death by a million small gashes. I’ve been completely destroyed by my narcissistic husband of thirty years.
Totally agree .... They are thee most dangerous of all the NPDs out their .... SNEAKY AND VERY CUNNING !!! THEY WILL SLOWLY DESTROY YOUR MIND BODY SPIRIT AND SOUL AND WILL HAVE INFILTRATED EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE . always make sure to build a get out plan privately and esp a fiancial plan to save / protect all that you can ... Gather every piece of evidence and paperwork and put a place of safety in place before the discard if possible.
Totally agree! I've said the very same thing--death by a million cuts. I was married to one for 12 years. Save yourself! It does get better with time and a lot of inner work.
Narcs are of the same seedline (Cain/Esau/Tares) as those in leadership positions. They are the seedline of the serpent (see Genesis 3:15 about the two seedlines on the earth at enmity with each other). They don't want you to know about that either. That's why they don't preach about it in the churches, which they also control.
P M I second that! This needs to be thought In high school. These ppl are Pure evil and they live among us! Knowledge is power! We need to empower our children against these monsters! 🙏
P M That will never happen! Narcissist Rule The World! In fact, pay attention to the details all around you. Narcissistism is being promoted EVERYWHERE!!! Movies, posters, music. Etc..
@mountain blue Teaching in HS meaning, the psychology of Narcissism. Why not? This can be tied into world history leaders etc. Many avenues for this! Relationships, friendships, corporate etc...
I'm continuely surrounded my narcissism my entire life. Home, work, and personal life. I spent my life under the thumb of narcisstic teachers, bosses, husbands, boyfriends and friends. Now , I do not engage with people in anyway unless its necessary for work purposes. I'm single snd plan on staying that way. Society in general is sick and it's important to show decernment in all areas of your life. Thank you for sharing!!
I've already started educating my daughter who is 8. I have an entire family of cluster bs. She also has a classmate with all the traits bullying her. She has had to learn strategies with dealing with them. She is super guarded and protected from the narcs in my family and the sociopathic ones I've cut all contact with, but I can't shield her from the rest of world. These horrible personalities are common and so destructive. I suffered at the hands of these nasty people but my daughter never will have to deal with that. She is so deeply loved with all her needs met. Any relationship other than love and supportive is going to be a put off for her, one she won't tolerate. I saw it play out with her classmate. They were friends in kindergarten and now by 3rd grade, she can't stand her and avoids her completely. She's learning gray rock strategy and building very strong loving friendships with the other children.
I so agree with educating youth around this!! If you grow up in this it is viewed as normal. Some parents with this do not provide any education on boundaries etc which sets children up for risks and to fail. Thank you for your work.
Narc parents don't teach you ANY life skills whatsoever. They just shame you for not automatically knowing those things they failed to teach you. They shame you when you are child as though you are an adult and when you become an adult they treat you like a child.
My brother is one. I have had to go no contact to protect myself. But I still feel guilty. But it feels so good to not be hurt and to be safe. I don’t ever want to subject myself to that again.
I recently ended relationship with a covert narcissist (he had all 3 "E's"). So baffling to me in fact, that I had to thoroughly research his odd behaviors just to wrap my head around it! In hindsight I should've never given a 2nd chance after he abruptly discarded me the first time (should've gone "no contact"). I never forgot the shock and pain though, so when he showed similar patterns of being secretive, manipulative & deceptive, all signs pointed to another imminent discard. I packed up what was left of my self-respect and walked away first, going "no contact" this time. Am healing now. It's been about 4 months. Happy to say the more time passes, the clearer the perspective. Hard and painful lesson learned. I pray for others who are experiencing this heartbreak. Sending love and strength ❤
One of the red flags that showed up in the covert narcissist that I had dealt with, was a lack of empathy toward animals. No one would have seen her do it, but on my farm, I figured it out over time. I eventually learned that she would kick my laying hens, and some would die the next day. Also, filling water tubs that had manure in them, (while singing her “church praise songs”). Cattle and sheep are very reluctant to drink that water, so they could get sick or eventually die. It seems to me that lack of empathy in one area transfers to all areas. As always, thanks for your great videos.
My covert narcissistic ex was cruel to her little dog. She yanked the leash so hard the poor dog was hurt and humiliated. I got physically nauseous watching this behavior. We broke up a few weeks later after 3 years together. She is evil inside.
OMG, she sounds like a sociopathic covert narc. I love animals. My soon to be ex covert narc pretended he liked animals and then I found out it was just an act to get me to like him. I am in the middle of divorcing him now.
@@sylviaking8866 psychopathic covert communal narc. She had another dog when I met her. She ended up putting her down about a year and one half into the relationship. The dog had diarhea regularly and she was tired of having to clean up after the dog. I comforted her at the emergency vet and she cried but it always seemed like crocodile tears. She used the situation to manipulate my compassion and empathy. She has done things I know to be illegal. I think she may have been attacked by another source of supply about a year in. She ended up with a horribly sprained ankle and the story just never added up. She was incredibly sneaky, manipulative, a pathological liar, serial cheater and a gas lighter. All classic narcissistic behavior. I am honestly lucky to be in one piece. And ultimately although I think she was after my money and property, she did not succeed so ultimately I won.
@@wmhhealth2018 I wonder if her dog had diarrhea because it was stressed by her being abusive to it. You are so well rid of her. I hope you have found a nice, genuine person as a partner now.
Yeah, I had never heard of NPD till 2 1/2 months ago. My then wife left after I confronted her about cheating and other things I was questioning. Wow!!! I am now divorced from her and I have learned sooooo much. I will never get hooked again. Thanks for putting this info out for us. Happy New Year..😁
Be careful mate. I too said similar after an decade 17yrs - 27yrs old with an older gorgeous seeming narc. I never dealt with the root causes that came from being scapegoated by a step parent as a child & have continued to not only attract more narcs( overt, covert well all r in a way, somatic-cerebral, pathological, malignant and even 1 whom had served time for murdering a woman. I had later found.) So until we see where our own codependancy to b drawn into these chemistries lies in ourselves--empathic ppl I mean. Us empaths Will sadly go around a loop until we find a way to embrace and heal the shame in ourselves. I'm 36 and have taken 19yrs of adult relationships with men a slight bit or a huge bit older than me. Craving the subconscious safety of my father I think as my mother and step mother were both allowing or being v abusive. U think it has not affected u until 1 day - Thursday this wk for me- we can see the patterns and how it v plainly fits together. Am starting with a bit of Stoicism, NARCOLOGY unscripted vids, this of course & cleaning out my flat into a home with as much self love as possible. If I need to give in and nap with my dog I will. I would dislike to ever feel zapped of motivation ever again. U take care and i hope u take however long u need to heal your trauma bond wounds etc. U can message me anytime. I'm owe u one for that prose of my own pish... 😜 Scotland
I know exactly what you are talking about! When I separated from my wife I began studying narcissism because my wife constantly told me I was the narcissist. Ironically. Everything about this disorder is everything my wife is and does. The gas lighting,blame shifting,projection,etc. And when confronted with her cheating and lies,it turned into a rage and verbal assassination towards me. I am so grateful for all these videos and the wisdom that I have been able to gain in recognizing this disorder. All the best to you and everyone else who is out of their situation with the narc and on the road to recovery!!
This video rang true on so many notes. One thing I would like to add about the difference between covert and classic overt narcissism is that your overt narcissist doesn't care about discarding supply. To them there is always more supply around the next corner. Whereas the covert narcissist knows how hard they worked to get the supply so discarding it frivolously typically doesn't work for them. On another note, they really do need to teach a course in high school on narcissism.
my wife is a covert narsicist she never would cut in line...or things like that...never would steal things...always was nice...everyone seemed to love her ....but she used to make fun of heavy people...with her brother...i always thought ..mmmmm. that doesn't fit, you present this wonderfull kind human being but have no problem doing that. red flag..!!!...another words she hid her crazy very well...was sneaky ...was horrible to me in secret ...the big 3 can b hidden very well by a covert narsicist
mreloo wow! My saint-like mother would say horrible things about peoples appearance. It was very confusing at the time! So nice to have come to understand that SHE is a narc! Knowledge is power and protection!
The three "E"s are indeed very easy to remember. Can we also add opportunist to that? They are very quick and keen on spotting someone who could be useful to them right away. They always have a backup plan (supply).
My narc uses Double Standards. He can go wherever whenever he wants and doesn't have to account for himself. But IF I ever need to go somewhere, I get treated like a delinquent 12 year old who cannot be trusted doing Anything by myself, needing to track my Every move to him and I had better have chaperones by either his parents or one of my kids to take me/accompany me to wherever I may need to go and or make sure that I keep them all informed on my every move bc they treat me like I cannot be trusted. This is all crazy!!! Also I have no vehicle and so if I do need to go anywhere he has me rely on his family to take me to watch over me. I have Never done Anything to have had this behavior bestowed onto me!!! And Oh yeah... So tired of all of his subliminal accusatory dialogues towards me with the hidden warnings that 'you won't get away with anything without eventually getting caught and having to pay' Craziness gaslighting!!! This is his Insecure Insanity !!!
Jeanine Edler please throw that piece of trash out.I did it last month. I feel free for the first time in 3 years since I met that dusty piece of trash.
I find the lack of empathy part to be a really difficult one, not just in and of itself but, because it’s left up to the interpretations and perceptions of others. First, a lot of people are bought over by a simple smile. To them, a smile means a person is nice. The narcissist’s personality and intention has been completely assessed - based on a mere smile. End of story. Don’t let them have a calm demeanor, a pretty face and nice teeth. It’s really over then. If you say anything about or against them, no matter if you have evidence and no matter if a 3rd party knows you well, you’ll often be trounced with, “Well, they seemed nice to me!” As far as a 3rd party is concerned, YOU’RE on a smear campaign - which makes a narcissist look even better. A smile is an easy and simple tool and narcissists know it. Second, although it’s usually said that a narcissist has a lack of empathy, that’s not the entire truth. They’re not working in a complete vacuum (although we’d certainly wish they were sucked into a Dyson). They actually have a lack of empathy for targets, scapegoats, and perhaps other people they feel threatened by. But, they indeed have empathy for themselves and whomever they’re love bombing, like a Golden Child. In my personal experience with my narcissistic mother, I would consider it to be maybe “favorable empathy”, for lack of a more appropriate term. That they either consciously or subconsciously, on a spectrum, will not only show the scapegoat no empathy, but will relish in knowing they haven’t and will even enlist the Scapegoat Child to help the Golden Child in order to bear witness of the divide and the pain it causes. My mother has certainly tried, even in her somewhat diminished state where she “appears” to have some memory loss. This is cognitive empathy in that they often clearly understand the damage they’re trying to cause and are feeding off of it. There are 3 types of empathy: Cognitive Emotional Compassionate Although I’m not a psychologist, it appears that what narcissists typically have borders between cognitive and emotional empathy. That they may understand how a person feels and they may even feel that pain, but they feed off it. They do not have compassionate empathy, at least not for their victims.
@@MaiRaven3 they even plan on hoping there’ll be pain after their own death. My mother planned for their to be pain. She passed a few weeks ago and, yes, my sister and I are now embattled.
Hi Jill, I know you probably know who I am from all your recent videos but I'm still playing catch up because I love to watch your videos and you're awesome! But I just wanted to say that's exactly what I did when I found out about narcissism! I knew there was something wrong that was abnormal with my narc husband who I have been married to now for 27 years but trying to get out of now, but that's exactly what I did, I googled what he was doing how he was acting the first thing that came up was narcissistic disorder! And when I started reading it, WOW! Every single thing explained everything from years back to the present as to what he had! I mean I had even googled sociopathic because I have a sister that is and he has a lot of those traits but narcissistic disorder was exactly what he had! And this was months ago so I've been following all most every day since, and by following your videos and others, that's how I found out that my mother had narcissistic disorder, and actually I was really relieved that I found that out because it explained why she treated me the way she did but did not treat the rest of my siblings that way! And, until then I didn't know why and that was just maybe a few months ago. I was still having flash backs as to why, why was I was the only one that cared about her, to the degree I did, worried about her, made sure she was okay, made sure she got away from her house, made sure she got to her doctor's appointments and talk to her every single day when no one else gave her the time of day! But yet I was the only one that she was evil to to that degree, and this is from the time I was a young child! Anyway I could go on forever but I just love you Jill you're awesome you educate and help a lot of people and it's a terrible awful thing to live with a narcissist, and you show us how we can get out of that, so once again we can be happy and enjoy our life! Thank You Jill! God bless!
In my opinion, the three E's should be ranked in order, as there is a notable difference in them - Lack of Empathy is at the crux of NPD, and should be #1. Exploitative should be #2 as it is very damaging and hurtful. Entitled falls well down in importance to me in that it doesn't necessarily mean that they will be heavy in 1 and 2. Lack of empathy is what allows them to discard etc., and in the brutal manner that they often do - which can be very traumatic and damaging to the recipient (i.e. me recently, although after realizing they were in fact a Narc, but a Covert one, it became easier to process the horrible treatment)
Although I am not qualified to diagnose mental illness I would bet the farm that I was raised by narc and then went on to marry one. I am 59 and have been down the healing road for over 8 years. Great video, although I am familiar with many of the concepts you do a wonderful job of putting this into easily understood packets of knowledge. Thank you.
This is one of the best videos that was easily explained about Narcissistic Abuse. And yes, they should teach this in High school. I'm gonna use this video to explain to my 11 year old daughter.
Thank you. Maybe government should take a role in this education especially that most probably children of narcs are the targeted audience. Let's pray for this kind of Education.
This really really really helped me. I'm not in a love relationship with anyone but so far in the past 4 months I have been taken advantage of by 2 people one male and one female, the female born in 1940 and the male born in 1941. I was born in 1950. I wish I would have heard this 4 months ago. 3 strikes and I'm out. The female I met almost a year earlier and that's exactly when the confusion started. She was the covert kind and he is the overt kind. They both claim their Christian. I am a born again Christian. Thank you for this video I'm going to listen to it again and again and again to get the basics down real good.
@@helenhighwater5313 yeah, i think some churches actually function to suppress the emotional "immune system," unfortunately. Teaching ppl (esp women) to be super giving, deferential to authority, and/or self-critical.
Sadly, many parents, educators, administrators and politicians suffer from this disorder. The likelihood this will be integrated in the educational system is highly doubtful..btw, love your channel.
Something I have learned is if you suspect a narcissist tell them a story start with a simple one something lighthearted then change the subject tell them the story that is tragic something horrible from your life watch the rise watch their expression it will tell you everything a complete lack of empathy can be seen in the eyes and the facial expression they are truly destructive to a beautiful soul
Sucking dry ! Lol ! Had a friend for 12 years who was covert. I helped her in many many ways. Appointments, errands, watching her dogs, cat & horse, support during the death of her 4 th husband, selling cars & saddles, redecorating her house. If someone in our circle would do something she didn't like (like having "too" many dogs, or collecting things or living their own lives) - she'd tell me she wasn't going to talk to them, she'd be nice but wouldn't reach out to them anymore. WELL- I didn't catch on that she'd do this to me until I apparently did something she did not like. Then she stopped calling, texting (during Covid ). Unless I reached out , she didn't. It became a pattern. & I realized she was trying to manipulate me too. My husband and I agreed that the friendship became creepy.. AND the sad thing is - I still don't really know what perturbed her. Some have told me that I should ask her what I did to offend her and then to apologize. Nuts to that. I see that as her manipulation working & getting what she wants . I've done enough for her, never expecting anything in return. Nonetheless, I don't need manipulation in my wonderfully full life. I don't even miss her friendship. Anyone have advice?
No good deed goes unpunished, stay away, you have all you need in a relationship of your own. Life is a long hard road, dragging someone else along with you, ruins momentum. They 9 out of ten times would not do the same for you.
I researched the behavior of a new hire, 6 1/2 years ago and came up with this diagnosis she still works with me and hasn't paid gotten worse over the years but has everyone doing her bidding they think she's amazing and so on and so on she has been told by everyone at my job for the six and a half years she's been there except me I've always seen thru her.Thank God. She can not steal my personality
They should teach it not only in school but in foster home, juvenil centers, mdjs = ymca, n even in churches....i' ve been doing 4 years now wirh kids n teens coz most dont know that a bully=narcissist person
I've been saying this for a while now, about this needs to be taught in highschool or as early as a child can comprehend. Kids are smarter than we think. I had my kid enrolled in psyc 101 after i came across one of these bastards. I never knew what Narcissist was and my definition of sociopath and psychopath was totally different. They walk amongst us , wearing human meat suits with abilities that are like superpowers, normal empathetic human beings will not employ on another. I am aware! And shook at the same time and I need to let my Love ones know as well for their safety. I will not play their mind games, I will put them down like the rabid dog they are, when it comes to my family. Sometimes people provoke the shadow side of you, don't even know that within all of us there's a monster or crazy as well.
Husband and mother in law. I’ve known the mother in law was but after 13yrs I’m just now discovering it and all of these past episodes have been flooding in for several days. Very scary and uneasy 🙏🏼🙏🏼
I love your videos. Yes mam it is a red flag because I am researching about somebody's behavior. This guy was hitting on me for a long time. I approached him couple days back and he was totally weired. He was not what he was showing. From day 1 he was totally lacking empathy and compassion. He was pretty aggressive with me on 2 day of our talk on the phone. He also said to me he just looks for his own interest and doesn't care about anybody else. I don't need to expect anything from him within 3 days of talking to him. I was scared of him. Within 5 days I was restless and anxious because of this guy. I sensed he is bad news so on 5 day, I decided to dump him. As soon as he heard this he started explaining things love bombing and hoovering. But I didn't believe his bullshit and dumped. He was a narcissist and he had all these traits you are talking about.
I was raised in an extremely abusive home, I wish in addition to the therapy that I went through that I was educated about this. I'm 56yrs old and just now understanding my life choices and my experiences with 4 marriages to just 2 women, most a life spent in trauma.
I wish I had known these things long ago - maybe I would have spotted the signs of sheer entitlement that my ex displayed. As it was, they were so subtle that I could sweep them under the rug. Because he seemed like such a nice guy otherwise. If I ever witness that sort of behavior again - petty stealing, acting like rules only apply to other people, expecting to get things for free, etc. - I hope I know enough to run like hell.
Upon hearing your explanation about three E's of narcicsm, it came into my mind that this mal functioning is hard to medicate and too hard to be corrected. Most especially when a person is unrealizable that he or she is. Denial in short.
My,soon to be ex-husband, unfortunately still lives with me,(I'm trying to save up to leave)He recently fell off a scaffold at work and hurt himself,He's the type to start a fight with me,Then if I tell or say something, he'd call the cops and tell them,I was beating on him and that's where the bruises came from.He's very deceptive, and has done this before.
Don't wait.... find a shelter... he will chase you. Leave him while he can't chase you if he's laid up from the fall. You can leave him with weeks worth of pre-cooked food, which he does not deserve, but you can feel good about leaving him with... make sandwiches for yourself.
Another red flag for sure would be entitlement when demanding a person's attention while being condescending and dismessive all at the same time. For example, when a person walks up as a strager to a woman living under the poverty line who is being paid to sell calendars while collecting donations from behind her while walking by her shop in shop small booth in a grocery store that was obvious far away from the customer services desk in the usual place behind all of the cashiers to drop off a food item for her that she often is seen eating at her booth there during her break and then he remains in the store waiting to see what she is going to do next if she says nothing to stop him while he is being both dismissive of her and getting her attention at the same time. I would call that a sign of entitled narcissism for sure.
I agree that it should be taught early on but wonder what the best way would be. If in high school what about the narcissists in the classes, would they not get more clever, and I think that might have made my home life worse to learn the truth about a parent when by high school the abuse was way way less due to me being capable of taking care of myself. I totally totally agree, I am just wondering when and how. (At least 2 out of 3 siblings plus a parent are narcs... I think I should have learned after I left home somewhere in my 20s)
The 3-E’s makes it easy to discover the wrong person to get close to! I appreciate your delivery & teachings! God bless you for letting me find you on my research. I originally searched out codependency knowing there was something in me not right and learned about the relationship patterns of abuse that I end up in. Can you explain the difference between an Empath & a codependent. I strongly feel others pain, or whatever. I’m interested in your personal coaching.
Thank you for your kind words. The link to my website is in the description. It explains the different coaching packages that I offer. If you have any questions, just send me an email, my address is also in the description.
Hi just found your channel, love your videos they are packed powerful truths, truly enlightened...may I ask my ex NARCISSIST told me that both his parents were NARCISSISts, could this be? Cause my ex NARCISSIST could explain narcissim to a T...thx again!
Yeap. I ended up with a narcissitic woman because grew up among narcissistic women and in my mind i said thats just how women are but they love me i used to say. I was dead wrong no wonder i ended up doing a lot of free stuff for them. Just like the one i married. Help raised her kids from i prior. And as of today i did not do nothing for them.😟
What if you left a narcissist but they keep bothering you in some way like peeping through your social accounts? At first I thought my account was hacked but I was told why would someone do such a thing just for me? It was draining. Up until now I still feel that there is someone controling my accounts and lots of recommended videos or articles that might and sometimes hit my weaknesses. Felt like insulting me in so many ways. Now I don't even know if it's just me still imagining of someone following me anywhere and everywhere or is it just because I was gaslighted and manipulated.💔💔
I've met people that have narcissistic Tendencies but are not full-blown narcissist so we have to be very discerning labeling everybody a hardcore narcissist.
Based on my life experience, these type of people are fostered in communities, who feel they are Entitled to things that were never granted or bequeathed to them, a good example is the community of Mount Morris New York who claims Francis Bellamy was born there, and although they state that he moved to another place with his family at age 4, then they claim he wrote the pledge of alliance, all birth rights are theirs, that is what they are entitled to, the community as a whole lacks empathy and they exploit people by making silly insinuations, such as, my sister adopted a child from India, so that makes me Indian, and it is their job to ensure I have nothing, after working 30 years in New York I am homeless. Good luck addressing any issues in their court system, despite their bragging rights on women's rights and the mountains of Funds received from taxpayer to protect people from domestic violence and abuse, their family court system promotes and advocate abuse. I believe narcissistic behaviors are a community driven force that leads to power, corruption and fraud and there is nothing that can stop it, but outright war.
@ Truth Teller Houston Tx is the same. My daughter was killed by narcs there and the courts could care less !!!! Now my grandchildren are in the custody of the killers !!!! The courts are corrupt !!!!!
So I'm looking into this matter because a family member wasn't in any way a narc but after a brain injury he's a narc. Was it possibly an under lying issue or I've heard by being injured and "out of it" following the injury brain negative entities can enter. He sure behaves like an evil entity. Any thoughts would be welcomed. I'm wanting to gain some type of understanding. I'll be appreciating many more of your videos as I see many of interest. Thank you ❤
Start education in grade school. Don't wait for high school. The abusers quite often start playing, manipulating, coercing, belittling, bullying and abusing others from a very young age.
I don't get the sense of entitlement and the lack of empathy traits from her. But the way my partner treats me, leaved me emotionally drained. How long can coverts put up a facade? Best way to handle coverts?
I get concerned with my granddaughter displaying all those three red flags of narcissistic behaviour you just mentioned which I am pretty sure stems from her narcissistic dad. What advise & strategy do you recommend to prevent her from becoming a full blown narcissistic since she is only young -- 13 years old.?
Excellent video. Also, I agree there should be education on this topic, however I don't think there will be as all scopes of narcissists are the fuel of our materialistic society. We are run by them, and even at a very low level within corporations, those parasites whom we are trying to protect ourselves from thanks to your channel are usually the ones who get the best positions. By being so selfish they also ensure rebellion is very unlikely, which is always a plus for rulers.
I don't want to be that negative guy on you tube who trying to outdo everyone else's with horror stories about Narcissism, but I have 38 years experience with two different wives. Both wives were serial cheaters and both ruined the lives of numeral families. Both cost me several million dollars and both found ways to ruin my positions with high paying jobs. I got my current wife a low level position where I work and she slept with numerous clients and fellow employees which ultimately cost me my job, because I couldn't "handle" her. The point of this rant is that you all had better by God figure out how to avoid relationships with a Narcissist or you will regret it the rest of your life...
The false humility from the wealthy introvert narc really fkd me up. Was not overt. Not cerebral though manipulative. V somatic tho forgive me v v old and ugly. Sorry but it's true. 71 to my 36. Friends only after a sexual assault I survived a wk before we met dog walking. He tricked police into being a caregiver tho never arranged nor took me to a doc appt nor allowed me out the front door. I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown when we MET. His x wives he showed me horrid bedroom pics of as soon as I was in his care living in his spare room. He even married a Ukrainian St worker and ruined her and had her visa cancelled. Not all covert narcs say they like themselves. But they have NO UNDERSTANDING of what we feel. Nor their dogs. He liked to traips his rescue hound around saying he had problems with it. That's how we met. My rescue went thru similar but it was pretence. He wanted to do the same with me too. The dog was a LURE. He never smiled and the atmosphere was indescribable for 6months. Angry I was not out of my room sat next to him for him to grope and French kiss me. Begged to marry me from the 1st fortnight under his roof. I was too ill- I left on Wed. He is angry. Yet I felt no 1 would believe me and I don't ever want to give my dog up to go into a refuge. I ve returned home to the flat I was initially attacked in. You tube has saved my life and given me the knowledge. He plied me with alcohol so I would feel guilt and allow or ignore him touching me etc. I stopped washing and peeing in his bathroom. He admitted a pee fetish and offered a bucket for my room. He said it was fine as him mum did the same. I felt his hated for my youth, intelligence and goodness knows what because I was broken. He broke me more! We survive this to learn a valuable lesson. Spiritual warfare almost. It's even in the bible. Jezebel spirit. He feigns illnesses and almost broke his nose blaming a fall dog walking screaming at his v strong lurcher Blue after the accident. Just to gain attention. I'm sure he is smearing me now due to his own insecurity. He claimed to have a great childhood. He also said he would linger behind nightclubs to watch women pee behind the building. Nothing much online about the introvert narc pervert but with his age being a wee bit deaf- I heard gasping, moans of overwhelming pleasure alongside his x large nervy lurcher crying. He begged it to give him 5 more minutes... I had just been put into his care & t reality was- I would ve been separated from my dog. Me into a refuge and my lurcher whom only knows me then into a rescue cage. Well I listened and was directly inches behind the door and wall- he was masturbating + thought at 7am I was asleep. I burst in. He stopped and claimed it was snoring. 100% NOT. I calmed his dog- ignored him I was so angry & scared. Later I expl to him his dugs anxiety and refusal to be touched near his bk end was due to this deviant behaviour. I then became caregiver and caretaker of his dog in a way. He swore regularly he stopped touching himself. Just not NEAR your dog I meant. His dog excelled with real smiles + non aloof love. I stayed longer than I should ve. His mask finally slipped last Sunday. I thought I had the sneaky yet not so much 100% cold shy narc. A year of knowing him with no sex from me made his blood boil. He resented me feeding my own dog that day. Gaslit me the Monday and I left on Wed with him denying any wrong doing-, the usual--& am feeling much better with just my privacy and choices bk. Freedom! He WILL cause problems. I left b4 & he blew up my doorbell and phone making the dog and i v v nervous. He will b bk but I'm ready for it. The journey of CPTSD now begins. Thank you. This DIVULGANCE has lifted it off my shoulders & I'm calmer to begin my weekend. I ve all I need. My dog, our food, a warm home needing refreshed, a higher power whom has surely seen it all and this wonderful channel. At 36, I'm vvvv late at just getting my 1st email add. Etc. Book person. Lol! Greetings from Scottish Highlands x x
They are the types of people who do things that are almost criminal, but they don't have a record often times. Some do get caught but again not all. Vulnerable narcs hide it better just because some people hide there crap better in general. There is not a lot of research on the Vulnerable type.
First RED FLAG You are here. When you're researching their behavior - it is a red flag. Also number #1 Entitlement #2 Lack of empathy, compassion #3 Exploitative
I hate making light of tragedy but my ex has had at least 5 boyfriends die of negligent misadventure. What is the average mortality rate for ex wives boyfriends?
It took me a decade try o figure this out, but if you have to ask...then the answer is probay 'yes'. If you're already seeing weird behaviors that throw you off I don't think you need a label to realize and you should have probably exit stage left ASAP.
Speaking of high school-aged children; is it possible that this age group could also have narcissists among them, or are some in this age group just going through an obnoxious, disrespectful stage? If Covert Narcissist was a dictionary entry, my 16-year-old step-daughter would be the definition! She ticks all the boxes on your Top 10 Narcissist Traits List! She can't turn 18 fast enough (that's the day I help her move OUT!)
As a former public school educator, I cannot agree with you more on the need for psychopathy education at some point in the K-12 system. Thank you for your diligent work in sharing your knowledge and your message.
The covert is so dangerous because by the time you have it figured out they’ve destroyed you. Death by a million small gashes. I’ve been completely destroyed by my narcissistic husband of thirty years.
Totally agree .... They are thee most dangerous of all the NPDs out their ....
SNEAKY AND VERY CUNNING !!!
THEY WILL SLOWLY DESTROY YOUR MIND BODY SPIRIT AND SOUL AND WILL HAVE INFILTRATED EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE .
always make sure to build a get out plan privately and esp a fiancial plan to save / protect all that you can ...
Gather every piece of evidence and paperwork and put a place of safety in place before the discard if possible.
a prayer for your healing and hopes for you to move on.
Agreed, I hope you are much better now.
Totally agree! I've said the very same thing--death by a million cuts. I was married to one for 12 years. Save yourself! It does get better with time and a lot of inner work.
@@tauruswinds37 great advise!
Im 77 and havent understood my mother was a narcissist. I knew my family was diferent but had no knowledge. Now Im starting to heal.
I started my healing journey at age 63. Its been amazing .
They refuse to teach this in High school. Cause you would know who the leaders are!
Cause the school system is run by narcs to brainwash students
@@lonewolf-oc9vr YES! tHANK YOU!
Scott
Great reply! Thought the same thing!
Narcs are of the same seedline (Cain/Esau/Tares) as those in leadership positions. They are the seedline of the serpent (see Genesis 3:15 about the two seedlines on the earth at enmity with each other). They don't want you to know about that either. That's why they don't preach about it in the churches, which they also control.
Yep!!!
Absolutely! You're the only person I have heard say this (other than myself) that this needs to be taught in HS. It NEEDS to be taught in HS!
True. Narcissism should be taught in high school. So many young kids life will be saved.
P M I second that! This needs to be thought In high school. These ppl are Pure evil and they live among us! Knowledge is power! We need to empower our children against these monsters! 🙏
They should but they wont for the unique reason they will expose them self
P M
That will never happen!
Narcissist Rule The World!
In fact, pay attention to the details all around you. Narcissistism is being promoted EVERYWHERE!!! Movies, posters, music. Etc..
@mountain blue Teaching in HS meaning, the psychology of Narcissism. Why not? This can be tied into world history leaders etc. Many avenues for this! Relationships, friendships, corporate etc...
I'm continuely surrounded my narcissism my entire life. Home, work, and personal life. I spent my life under the thumb of narcisstic teachers, bosses, husbands, boyfriends and friends. Now , I do not engage with people in anyway unless its necessary for work purposes. I'm single snd plan on staying that way. Society in general is sick and it's important to show decernment in all areas of your life. Thank you for sharing!!
I've already started educating my daughter who is 8. I have an entire family of cluster bs. She also has a classmate with all the traits bullying her. She has had to learn strategies with dealing with them. She is super guarded and protected from the narcs in my family and the sociopathic ones I've cut all contact with, but I can't shield her from the rest of world. These horrible personalities are common and so destructive. I suffered at the hands of these nasty people but my daughter never will have to deal with that. She is so deeply loved with all her needs met. Any relationship other than love and supportive is going to be a put off for her, one she won't tolerate. I saw it play out with her classmate. They were friends in kindergarten and now by 3rd grade, she can't stand her and avoids her completely. She's learning gray rock strategy and building very strong loving friendships with the other children.
❤❤❤
Amen! 🙏🙏🙏💕
I wouldnt let my kids go to a public school.
I so agree with educating youth around this!! If you grow up in this it is viewed as normal. Some parents with this do not provide any education on boundaries etc which sets children up for risks and to fail. Thank you for your work.
Narc parents don't teach you ANY life skills whatsoever. They just shame you for not automatically knowing those things they failed to teach you. They shame you when you are child as though you are an adult and when you become an adult they treat you like a child.
My brother is one. I have had to go no contact to protect myself. But I still feel guilty. But it feels so good to not be hurt and to be safe. I don’t ever want to subject myself to that again.
I recently ended relationship with a covert narcissist (he had all 3 "E's"). So baffling to me in fact, that I had to thoroughly research his odd behaviors just to wrap my head around it! In hindsight I should've never given a 2nd chance after he abruptly discarded me the first time (should've gone "no contact"). I never forgot the shock and pain though, so when he showed similar patterns of being secretive, manipulative & deceptive, all signs pointed to another imminent discard. I packed up what was left of my self-respect and walked away first, going "no contact" this time. Am healing now. It's been about 4 months. Happy to say the more time passes, the clearer the perspective. Hard and painful lesson learned. I pray for others who are experiencing this heartbreak. Sending love and strength ❤
Ur extremely attractive n VERY IMPORTANT 2 this planet n ur really adorable
One of the red flags that showed up in the covert narcissist that I had dealt with, was a lack of empathy toward animals. No one would have seen her do it, but on my farm, I figured it out over time. I eventually learned that she would kick my laying hens, and some would die the next day. Also, filling water tubs that had manure in them, (while singing her “church praise songs”). Cattle and sheep are very reluctant to drink that water, so they could get sick or eventually die. It seems to me that lack of empathy in one area transfers to all areas. As always, thanks for your great videos.
That is some mean things to do. 😲
My covert narcissistic ex was cruel to her little dog. She yanked the leash so hard the poor dog was hurt and humiliated. I got physically nauseous watching this behavior. We broke up a few weeks later after 3 years together. She is evil inside.
OMG, she sounds like a sociopathic covert narc. I love animals. My soon to be ex covert narc pretended he liked animals and then I found out it was just an act to get me to like him.
I am in the middle of divorcing him now.
@@sylviaking8866 psychopathic covert communal narc. She had another dog when I met her. She ended up putting her down about a year and one half into the relationship. The dog had diarhea regularly and she was tired of having to clean up after the dog. I comforted her at the emergency vet and she cried but it always seemed like crocodile tears. She used the situation to manipulate my compassion and empathy. She has done things I know to be illegal. I think she may have been attacked by another source of supply about a year in. She ended up with a horribly sprained ankle and the story just never added up. She was incredibly sneaky, manipulative, a pathological liar, serial cheater and a gas lighter. All classic narcissistic behavior. I am honestly lucky to be in one piece. And ultimately although I think she was after my money and property, she did not succeed so ultimately I won.
@@wmhhealth2018 I wonder if her dog had diarrhea because it was stressed by her being abusive to it. You are so well rid of her. I hope you have found a nice, genuine person as a partner now.
They should teach this. I only met one in my 53 years. That's enough.
Yep!
Anyone here ever thought they met another empath only to uncover a sneaky narc?
I just came across your videos today. You really explain this topic in a succinct and intelligent way. Thank you!
Yeah, I had never heard of NPD till 2 1/2 months ago. My then wife left after I confronted her about cheating and other things I was questioning. Wow!!! I am now divorced from her and I have learned sooooo much. I will never get hooked again. Thanks for putting this info out for us. Happy New Year..😁
Be careful mate. I too said similar after an decade 17yrs - 27yrs old with an older gorgeous seeming narc. I never dealt with the root causes that came from being scapegoated by a step parent as a child & have continued to not only attract more narcs( overt, covert well all r in a way, somatic-cerebral, pathological, malignant and even 1 whom had served time for murdering a woman. I had later found.) So until we see where our own codependancy to b drawn into these chemistries lies in ourselves--empathic ppl I mean. Us empaths Will sadly go around a loop until we find a way to embrace and heal the shame in ourselves. I'm 36 and have taken 19yrs of adult relationships with men a slight bit or a huge bit older than me. Craving the subconscious safety of my father I think as my mother and step mother were both allowing or being v abusive. U think it has not affected u until 1 day - Thursday this wk for me- we can see the patterns and how it v plainly fits together. Am starting with a bit of Stoicism, NARCOLOGY unscripted vids, this of course & cleaning out my flat into a home with as much self love as possible. If I need to give in and nap with my dog I will. I would dislike to ever feel zapped of motivation ever again. U take care and i hope u take however long u need to heal your trauma bond wounds etc. U can message me anytime. I'm owe u one for that prose of my own pish... 😜 Scotland
I know exactly what you are talking about! When I separated from my wife I began studying narcissism because my wife constantly told me I was the narcissist. Ironically. Everything about this disorder is everything my wife is and does. The gas lighting,blame shifting,projection,etc. And when confronted with her cheating and lies,it turned into a rage and verbal assassination towards me. I am so grateful for all these videos and the wisdom that I have been able to gain in recognizing this disorder. All the best to you and everyone else who is out of their situation with the narc and on the road to recovery!!
wow...that is sad, but good riddance
This video rang true on so many notes. One thing I would like to add about the difference between covert and classic overt narcissism is that your overt narcissist doesn't care about discarding supply. To them there is always more supply around the next corner. Whereas the covert narcissist knows how hard they worked to get the supply so discarding it frivolously typically doesn't work for them. On another note, they really do need to teach a course in high school on narcissism.
my wife is a covert narsicist she never would cut in line...or things like that...never would steal things...always was nice...everyone seemed to love her ....but she used to make fun of heavy people...with her brother...i always thought ..mmmmm. that doesn't fit, you present this wonderfull kind human being but have no problem doing that. red flag..!!!...another words she hid her crazy very well...was sneaky ...was horrible to me in secret ...the big 3 can b hidden very well by a covert narsicist
mreloo wow! My saint-like mother would say horrible things about peoples appearance. It was very confusing at the time! So nice to have come to understand that SHE is a narc! Knowledge is power and protection!
Teach your children about boundaries!
The three "E"s are indeed very easy to remember. Can we also add opportunist to that? They are very quick and keen on spotting someone who could be useful to them right away. They always have a backup plan (supply).
Because most times they need a place to stay because they have caused so much drama where the sleep.
Don't like long speeches? Three red flags discussed beginning at 5:45.
It's a woman ...
@@joerichardson5926 and you're not a nobel prize... sexism sucks
Thank you! Exactly what I’m thinking 4 mins in
Thank u😇
Thank you 😊
Mom, Sister, X husband....2 best friends.......yep, what a life.
TOTALLY AGREE💯
Education IS🔑
& ❤️THK YOU❤️
My narc uses Double Standards. He can go wherever whenever he wants and doesn't have to account for himself. But IF I ever need to go somewhere, I get treated like a delinquent 12 year old who cannot be trusted doing Anything by myself, needing to track my Every move to him and I had better have chaperones by either his parents or one of my kids to take me/accompany me to wherever I may need to go and or make sure that I keep them all informed on my every move bc they treat me like I cannot be trusted. This is all crazy!!! Also I have no vehicle and so if I do need to go anywhere he has me rely on his family to take me to watch over me. I have Never done Anything to have had this behavior bestowed onto me!!! And Oh yeah... So tired of all of his subliminal accusatory dialogues towards me with the hidden warnings that 'you won't get away with anything without eventually getting caught and having to pay' Craziness gaslighting!!! This is his Insecure Insanity !!!
Jeanine Edler please throw that piece of trash out.I did it last month. I feel free for the first time in 3 years since I met that dusty piece of trash.
Jill, thanks for the compassionate way you show the details we need to focus on. Stay safe!
I find the lack of empathy part to be a really difficult one, not just in and of itself but, because it’s left up to the interpretations and perceptions of others.
First, a lot of people are bought over by a simple smile. To them, a smile means a person is nice. The narcissist’s personality and intention has been completely assessed - based on a mere smile. End of story. Don’t let them have a calm demeanor, a pretty face and nice teeth. It’s really over then. If you say anything about or against them, no matter if you have evidence and no matter if a 3rd party knows you well, you’ll often be trounced with, “Well, they seemed nice to me!” As far as a 3rd party is concerned, YOU’RE on a smear campaign - which makes a narcissist look even better. A smile is an easy and simple tool and narcissists know it.
Second, although it’s usually said that a narcissist has a lack of empathy, that’s not the entire truth. They’re not working in a complete vacuum (although we’d certainly wish they were sucked into a Dyson). They actually have a lack of empathy for targets, scapegoats, and perhaps other people they feel threatened by. But, they indeed have empathy for themselves and whomever they’re love bombing, like a Golden Child. In my personal experience with my narcissistic mother, I would consider it to be maybe “favorable empathy”, for lack of a more appropriate term. That they either consciously or subconsciously, on a spectrum, will not only show the scapegoat no empathy, but will relish in knowing they haven’t and will even enlist the Scapegoat Child to help the Golden Child in order to bear witness of the divide and the pain it causes. My mother has certainly tried, even in her somewhat diminished state where she “appears” to have some memory loss. This is cognitive empathy in that they often clearly understand the damage they’re trying to cause and are feeding off of it.
There are 3 types of empathy:
Cognitive
Emotional
Compassionate
Although I’m not a psychologist, it appears that what narcissists typically have borders between cognitive and emotional empathy. That they may understand how a person feels and they may even feel that pain, but they feed off it. They do not have compassionate empathy, at least not for their victims.
Excellent assessment. Yes, they feed off our pain. It is demonic. My mother was the same.
@@MaiRaven3 they even plan on hoping there’ll be pain after their own death. My mother planned for their to be pain. She passed a few weeks ago and, yes, my sister and I are now embattled.
@@privateprivate8366 yeah, that’s what they do. God be with you and comfort you.
@@MaiRaven3 thank you. You, as well.🙏🏽
Thank you. I only wish I had learned these things 6yrs ago. Thank you for spelling things out so simple.
Hi Jill, I know you probably know who I am from all your recent videos but I'm still playing catch up because I love to watch your videos and you're awesome! But I just wanted to say that's exactly what I did when I found out about narcissism! I knew there was something wrong that was abnormal with my narc husband who I have been married to now for 27 years but trying to get out of now, but that's exactly what I did, I googled what he was doing how he was acting the first thing that came up was narcissistic disorder! And when I started reading it, WOW! Every single thing explained everything from years back to the present as to what he had! I mean I had even googled sociopathic because I have a sister that is and he has a lot of those traits but narcissistic disorder was exactly what he had! And this was months ago so I've been following all most every day since, and by following your videos and others, that's how I found out that my mother had narcissistic disorder, and actually I was really relieved that I found that out because it explained why she treated me the way she did but did not treat the rest of my siblings that way! And, until then I didn't know why and that was just maybe a few months ago. I was still having flash backs as to why, why was I was the only one that cared about her, to the degree I did, worried about her, made sure she was okay, made sure she got away from her house, made sure she got to her doctor's appointments and talk to her every single day when no one else gave her the time of day! But yet I was the only one that she was evil to to that degree, and this is from the time I was a young child! Anyway I could go on forever but I just love you Jill you're awesome you educate and help a lot of people and it's a terrible awful thing to live with a narcissist, and you show us how we can get out of that, so once again we can be happy and enjoy our life! Thank You Jill! God bless!
Lovina:They always target me first...yes my mother was classic malicious narc
You are such an amazing woman... I have ended relationships with narcissist men..... Keep up the good work..... Thanks for sharing knowledge.....
The first red flag made me chuckle! Very true!
In my opinion, the three E's should be ranked in order, as there is a notable difference in them - Lack of Empathy is at the crux of NPD, and should be #1. Exploitative should be #2 as it is very damaging and hurtful. Entitled falls well down in importance to me in that it doesn't necessarily mean that they will be heavy in 1 and 2. Lack of empathy is what allows them to discard etc., and in the brutal manner that they often do - which can be very traumatic and damaging to the recipient (i.e. me recently, although after realizing they were in fact a Narc, but a Covert one, it became easier to process the horrible treatment)
Although I am not qualified to diagnose mental illness I would bet the farm that I was raised by narc and then went on to marry one. I am 59 and have been down the healing road for over 8 years. Great video, although I am familiar with many of the concepts you do a wonderful job of putting this into easily understood packets of knowledge. Thank you.
This is one of the best videos that was easily explained about Narcissistic Abuse. And yes, they should teach this in High school. I'm gonna use this video to explain to my 11 year old daughter.
Thank you. Maybe government should take a role in this education especially that most probably children of narcs are the targeted audience. Let's pray for this kind of Education.
This really really really helped me. I'm not in a love relationship with anyone but so far in the past 4 months I have been taken advantage of by 2 people one male and one female, the female born in 1940 and the male born in 1941. I was born in 1950. I wish I would have heard this 4 months ago. 3 strikes and I'm out. The female I met almost a year earlier and that's exactly when the confusion started. She was the covert kind and he is the overt kind. They both claim their Christian. I am a born again Christian. Thank you for this video I'm going to listen to it again and again and again to get the basics down real good.
A lot of narcissists to go church to find nice people to prey on.
@@helenhighwater5313 yeah, i think some churches actually function to suppress the emotional "immune system," unfortunately. Teaching ppl (esp women) to be super giving, deferential to authority, and/or self-critical.
Ur extremely attractive
Sadly, many parents, educators, administrators and politicians suffer from this disorder. The likelihood this will be integrated in the educational system is highly doubtful..btw, love your channel.
Something I have learned is if you suspect a narcissist tell them a story start with a simple one something lighthearted then change the subject tell them the story that is tragic something horrible from your life watch the rise watch their expression it will tell you everything a complete lack of empathy can be seen in the eyes and the facial expression they are truly destructive to a beautiful soul
Covert victim narc has to be the most detrimental.
Jill you are so beautiful and you speak so much truth. I love you 💕🌹
Agreed this should be taught to everyone at a young age.
Thank you
Sucking dry ! Lol !
Had a friend for 12 years who was covert. I helped her in many many ways. Appointments, errands, watching her dogs, cat & horse, support during the death of her 4 th husband, selling cars & saddles, redecorating her house. If someone in our circle would do something she didn't like (like having "too" many dogs, or collecting things or living their own lives) - she'd tell me she wasn't going to talk to them, she'd be nice but wouldn't reach out to them anymore. WELL- I didn't catch on that she'd do this to me until I apparently did something she did not like. Then she stopped calling, texting (during Covid ).
Unless I reached out , she didn't. It became a pattern. & I realized she was trying to manipulate me too. My husband and I agreed that the friendship became creepy.. AND the sad thing is - I still don't really know what perturbed her.
Some have told me that I should ask her what I did to offend her and then to apologize. Nuts to that. I see that as her manipulation working & getting what she wants . I've done enough for her, never expecting anything in return.
Nonetheless, I don't need manipulation in my wonderfully full life. I don't even miss her friendship.
Anyone have advice?
No good deed goes unpunished, stay away, you have all you need in a relationship of your own. Life is a long hard road, dragging someone else along with you, ruins momentum. They 9 out of ten times would not do the same for you.
@@oldnick9232 you're a wize "old Nick " ! Very much appreciate your comments ☺️! Thank you !
I researched the behavior of a new hire, 6 1/2 years ago and came up with this diagnosis she still works with me and hasn't paid gotten worse over the years but has everyone doing her bidding they think she's amazing and so on and so on she has been told by everyone at my job for the six and a half years she's been there except me I've always seen thru her.Thank God. She can not steal my personality
Thank you.
By the way, it was my parent that put Me in this place.
NM was a very good teacher, on what not to be.
Thank you
Very true.
Love your style. Can I ask what brand number your eye glass frames are here? Thanks
They should teach it not only in school but in foster home, juvenil centers, mdjs = ymca, n even in churches....i' ve been doing 4 years now wirh kids n teens coz most dont know that a bully=narcissist person
I've been saying this for a while now, about this needs to be taught in highschool or as early as a child can comprehend. Kids are smarter than we think. I had my kid enrolled in psyc 101 after i came across one of these bastards. I never knew what Narcissist was and my definition of sociopath and psychopath was totally different. They walk amongst us , wearing human meat suits with abilities that are like superpowers, normal empathetic human beings will not employ on another. I am aware! And shook at the same time and I need to let my Love ones know as well for their safety. I will not play their mind games, I will put them down like the rabid dog they are, when it comes to my family. Sometimes people provoke the shadow side of you, don't even know that within all of us there's a monster or crazy as well.
Husband and mother in law. I’ve known the mother in law was but after 13yrs I’m just now discovering it and all of these past episodes have been flooding in for several days. Very scary and uneasy 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Stay strong and God bless you!
They've been raising those ppl for decades now way back where I'm from.
I love your videos. Yes mam it is a red flag because I am researching about somebody's behavior. This guy was hitting on me for a long time. I approached him couple days back and he was totally weired. He was not what he was showing. From day 1 he was totally lacking empathy and compassion. He was pretty aggressive with me on 2 day of our talk on the phone. He also said to me he just looks for his own interest and doesn't care about anybody else. I don't need to expect anything from him within 3 days of talking to him. I was scared of him. Within 5 days I was restless and anxious because of this guy. I sensed he is bad news so on 5 day, I decided to dump him. As soon as he heard this he started explaining things love bombing and hoovering. But I didn't believe his bullshit and dumped. He was a narcissist and he had all these traits you are talking about.
Knowledge is power! You are powerful! God bless you!
I was raised in an extremely abusive home, I wish in addition to the therapy that I went through that I was educated about this. I'm 56yrs old and just now understanding my life choices and my experiences with 4 marriages to just 2 women, most a life spent in trauma.
I like your delivery of information on covert narc behavior thank you
I wish I had known these things long ago - maybe I would have spotted the signs of sheer entitlement that my ex displayed. As it was, they were so subtle that I could sweep them under the rug. Because he seemed like such a nice guy otherwise. If I ever witness that sort of behavior again - petty stealing, acting like rules only apply to other people, expecting to get things for free, etc. - I hope I know enough to run like hell.
Upon hearing your explanation about three E's of narcicsm, it came into my mind that this mal functioning is hard to medicate and too hard to be corrected. Most especially when a person is unrealizable that he or she is. Denial in short.
My,soon to be ex-husband, unfortunately still lives with me,(I'm trying to save up to leave)He recently fell off a scaffold at work and hurt himself,He's the type to start a fight with me,Then if I tell or say something, he'd call the cops and tell them,I was beating on him and that's where the bruises came from.He's very deceptive, and has done this before.
Don't wait.... find a shelter... he will chase you. Leave him while he can't chase you if he's laid up from the fall. You can leave him with weeks worth of pre-cooked food, which he does not deserve, but you can feel good about leaving him with... make sandwiches for yourself.
I agree. Leave now. God will bless you with what you need. Save your sanity and go.
Another red flag for sure would be entitlement when demanding a person's attention while being condescending and dismessive all at the same time. For example, when a person walks up as a strager to a woman living under the poverty line who is being paid to sell calendars while collecting donations from behind her while walking by her shop in shop small booth in a grocery store that was obvious far away from the customer services desk in the usual place behind all of the cashiers to drop off a food item for her that she often is seen eating at her booth there during her break and then he remains in the store waiting to see what she is going to do next if she says nothing to stop him while he is being both dismissive of her and getting her attention at the same time. I would call that a sign of entitled narcissism for sure.
I agree that it should be taught early on but wonder what the best way would be. If in high school what about the narcissists in the classes, would they not get more clever, and I think that might have made my home life worse to learn the truth about a parent when by high school the abuse was way way less due to me being capable of taking care of myself. I totally totally agree, I am just wondering when and how. (At least 2 out of 3 siblings plus a parent are narcs... I think I should have learned after I left home somewhere in my 20s)
The 3-E’s makes it easy to discover the wrong person to get close to! I appreciate your delivery & teachings! God bless you for letting me find you on my research. I originally searched out codependency knowing there was something in me not right and learned about the relationship patterns of abuse that I end up in. Can you explain the difference between an Empath & a codependent. I strongly feel others pain, or whatever. I’m interested in your personal coaching.
Thank you for your kind words. The link to my website is in the description. It explains the different coaching packages that I offer. If you have any questions, just send me an email, my address is also in the description.
The Enlightened Target thank you!!!
Ur extremely attractive n VERY IMPORTANT 2 this planet n ur really adorable
Hi just found your channel, love your videos they are packed powerful truths, truly enlightened...may I ask my ex NARCISSIST told me that both his parents were NARCISSISts, could this be? Cause my ex NARCISSIST could explain narcissim to a T...thx again!
If the education was for the benefit of our children they would teach this.
Yeap. I ended up with a narcissitic woman because grew up among narcissistic women and in my mind i said thats just how women are but they love me i used to say. I was dead wrong no wonder i ended up doing a lot of free stuff for them. Just like the one i married. Help raised her kids from i prior. And as of today i did not do nothing for them.😟
The three "E"vils
What if you left a narcissist but they keep bothering you in some way like peeping through your social accounts? At first I thought my account was hacked but I was told why would someone do such a thing just for me? It was draining. Up until now I still feel that there is someone controling my accounts and lots of recommended videos or articles that might and sometimes hit my weaknesses. Felt like insulting me in so many ways. Now I don't even know if it's just me still imagining of someone following me anywhere and everywhere or is it just because I was gaslighted and manipulated.💔💔
I've met people that have narcissistic Tendencies but are not full-blown narcissist so we have to be very discerning labeling everybody a hardcore narcissist.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge on this subject - so beneficial!
Based on my life experience, these type of people are fostered in communities, who feel they are Entitled to things that were never granted or bequeathed to them, a good example is the community of Mount Morris New York who claims Francis Bellamy was born there, and although they state that he moved to another place with his family at age 4, then they claim he wrote the pledge of alliance, all birth rights are theirs, that is what they are entitled to, the community as a whole lacks empathy and they exploit people by making silly insinuations, such as, my sister adopted a child from India, so that makes me Indian, and it is their job to ensure I have nothing, after working 30 years in New York I am homeless. Good luck addressing any issues in their court system, despite their bragging rights on women's rights and the mountains of Funds received from taxpayer to protect people from domestic violence and abuse, their family court system promotes and advocate abuse. I believe narcissistic behaviors are a community driven force that leads to power, corruption and fraud and there is nothing that can stop it, but outright war.
@ Truth Teller
Houston Tx is the same. My daughter was killed by narcs there and the courts could care less !!!!
Now my grandchildren are in the custody of the killers !!!!
The courts are corrupt !!!!!
Thank You for this lesson. ❤️🤓❤️💃
Knowledge is power..great
Sometimes I fear for my life. Maybe it's because I am very intuitive...
absolutely did not know until researched it
Interesting video Jill. Greg
So I'm looking into this matter because a family member wasn't in any way a narc but after a brain injury he's a narc. Was it possibly an under lying issue or I've heard by being injured and "out of it" following the injury brain negative entities can enter. He sure behaves like an evil entity. Any thoughts would be welcomed. I'm wanting to gain some type of understanding. I'll be appreciating many more of your videos as I see many of interest. Thank you ❤
Do you have a video or tips on how to educate our of age kids on narcissism?
Start education in grade school. Don't wait for high school. The abusers quite often start playing, manipulating, coercing, belittling, bullying and abusing others from a very young age.
Thank You sooo much!
Thank you for your work. New subbie.
I am going through this
Thank you. Very interesting as always! ♥️
I wish i knew thia information a long time ago. 🤦🏾♀️🤦🏾♀️
Thank you 💜
I don't get the sense of entitlement and the lack of empathy traits from her. But the way my partner treats me, leaved me emotionally drained. How long can coverts put up a facade? Best way to handle coverts?
Answer to your question: leave!
I get concerned with my granddaughter displaying all those three red flags of narcissistic behaviour you just mentioned which I am pretty sure stems from her narcissistic dad. What advise & strategy do you recommend to prevent her from becoming a full blown narcissistic since she is only young -- 13 years old.?
Great video.
Excellent video. Also, I agree there should be education on this topic, however I don't think there will be as all scopes of narcissists are the fuel of our materialistic society. We are run by them, and even at a very low level within corporations, those parasites whom we are trying to protect ourselves from thanks to your channel are usually the ones who get the best positions. By being so selfish they also ensure rebellion is very unlikely, which is always a plus for rulers.
I don't want to be that negative guy on you tube who trying to outdo everyone else's with horror stories about Narcissism, but I have 38 years experience with two different wives. Both wives were serial cheaters and both ruined the lives of numeral families. Both cost me several million dollars and both found ways to ruin my positions with high paying jobs. I got my current wife a low level position where I work and she slept with numerous clients and fellow employees which ultimately cost me my job, because I couldn't "handle" her.
The point of this rant is that you all had better by God figure out how to avoid relationships with a Narcissist or you will regret it the rest of your life...
Thank you. I enjoy your videos.
Basically, the 3 E's sound like they would impress the observer as criminal tendencies.
I cannot give this video the four likes it deserves...
Bingo. Very true. Peace
I'm loving you!
The false humility from the wealthy introvert narc really fkd me up. Was not overt. Not cerebral though manipulative. V somatic tho forgive me v v old and ugly. Sorry but it's true. 71 to my 36. Friends only after a sexual assault I survived a wk before we met dog walking. He tricked police into being a caregiver tho never arranged nor took me to a doc appt nor allowed me out the front door. I was having a bit of a nervous breakdown when we MET. His x wives he showed me horrid bedroom pics of as soon as I was in his care living in his spare room. He even married a Ukrainian St worker and ruined her and had her visa cancelled. Not all covert narcs say they like themselves. But they have NO UNDERSTANDING of what we feel. Nor their dogs. He liked to traips his rescue hound around saying he had problems with it. That's how we met. My rescue went thru similar but it was pretence. He wanted to do the same with me too. The dog was a LURE. He never smiled and the atmosphere was indescribable for 6months. Angry I was not out of my room sat next to him for him to grope and French kiss me. Begged to marry me from the 1st fortnight under his roof. I was too ill- I left on Wed. He is angry. Yet I felt no 1 would believe me and I don't ever want to give my dog up to go into a refuge. I ve returned home to the flat I was initially attacked in. You tube has saved my life and given me the knowledge. He plied me with alcohol so I would feel guilt and allow or ignore him touching me etc. I stopped washing and peeing in his bathroom. He admitted a pee fetish and offered a bucket for my room. He said it was fine as him mum did the same. I felt his hated for my youth, intelligence and goodness knows what because I was broken. He broke me more! We survive this to learn a valuable lesson. Spiritual warfare almost. It's even in the bible. Jezebel spirit. He feigns illnesses and almost broke his nose blaming a fall dog walking screaming at his v strong lurcher Blue after the accident. Just to gain attention. I'm sure he is smearing me now due to his own insecurity. He claimed to have a great childhood. He also said he would linger behind nightclubs to watch women pee behind the building. Nothing much online about the introvert narc pervert but with his age being a wee bit deaf- I heard gasping, moans of overwhelming pleasure alongside his x large nervy lurcher crying. He begged it to give him 5 more minutes... I had just been put into his care & t reality was- I would ve been separated from my dog. Me into a refuge and my lurcher whom only knows me then into a rescue cage. Well I listened and was directly inches behind the door and wall- he was masturbating + thought at 7am I was asleep. I burst in. He stopped and claimed it was snoring. 100% NOT. I calmed his dog- ignored him I was so angry & scared. Later I expl to him his dugs anxiety and refusal to be touched near his bk end was due to this deviant behaviour. I then became caregiver and caretaker of his dog in a way. He swore regularly he stopped touching himself. Just not NEAR your dog I meant. His dog excelled with real smiles + non aloof love. I stayed longer than I should ve. His mask finally slipped last Sunday. I thought I had the sneaky yet not so much 100% cold shy narc. A year of knowing him with no sex from me made his blood boil. He resented me feeding my own dog that day. Gaslit me the Monday and I left on Wed with him denying any wrong doing-, the usual--& am feeling much better with just my privacy and choices bk. Freedom! He WILL cause problems. I left b4 & he blew up my doorbell and phone making the dog and i v v nervous. He will b bk but I'm ready for it. The journey of CPTSD now begins. Thank you. This DIVULGANCE has lifted it off my shoulders & I'm calmer to begin my weekend. I ve all I need. My dog, our food, a warm home needing refreshed, a higher power whom has surely seen it all and this wonderful channel. At 36, I'm vvvv late at just getting my 1st email add. Etc. Book person. Lol! Greetings from Scottish Highlands x x
The video starts at 5:52. You’re welcome.
They are the types of people who do things that are almost criminal, but they don't have a record often times. Some do get caught but again not all. Vulnerable narcs hide it better just because some people hide there crap better in general. There is not a lot of research on the Vulnerable type.
I love you and all that you are 🥰
First RED FLAG You are here. When you're researching their behavior - it is a red flag. Also number #1 Entitlement #2 Lack of empathy, compassion #3 Exploitative
God, my ex fiancé hits all 3 E’s and I wish that I had seen it early on. I’d add “future faking” under exploitation.
I hate making light of tragedy but my ex has had at least 5 boyfriends die of negligent misadventure. What is the average mortality rate for ex wives boyfriends?
My narc paid with his life for all manipulation he had a fatal heart attack and died
Is there a way to speak to someone for a a few minutes.
I need to know if I'm involved with one. The basic idea of Narc seems to be present.
It took me a decade try o figure this out, but if you have to ask...then the answer is probay 'yes'. If you're already seeing weird behaviors that throw you off I don't think you need a label to realize and you should have probably exit stage left ASAP.
Speaking of high school-aged children; is it possible that this age group could also have narcissists among them, or are some in this age group just going through an obnoxious, disrespectful stage? If Covert Narcissist was a dictionary entry, my 16-year-old step-daughter would be the definition! She ticks all the boxes on your Top 10 Narcissist Traits List! She can't turn 18 fast enough (that's the day I help her move OUT!)
You are their mom.u need to send her for therapy
Ur extremely attractive n VERY IMPORTANT 2 this world n ur really adorable n super pretty!