How to Stop Your Destructive Habits From Ruining Your Life
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
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love the branching out besides just "love" life. I am interested in bettering myself in general not just my "love" life. I like the idea of upward spirals.
Same
I love that you took most aspects of life, that a person may, want to change, and shared how looking at what it would take to accomplish those things in a way that has sustainability for long periods of time.
And that we need to be kind to ourselves.
binging bad foods and drinking too much and feeling like you got no control... is coping from something. it's something you developed bc it worked for you. something in your psyché liked this habit. you were trying to keep yourself safe from something... you need to look at WHY this habit came into your life. what were you protecting yourself from?
why did you gain all that weight? or why did you neglect your health? has something happened to you? or have you been stressed for too long ?
there is something underneath the habit.
I realised I did this because I was being punished at home if I had anything at all going for me. Like having a healthy body was reprimanded with violence. I realised this and made some decisions. Just leaving my country and my family for a while actually made me stop binging overnight, literally overnight. I was able to set goals for my life and it was super easy. And then keeping a healthy distance from toxic people. Getting an education, setting goals and focusing on health. 😊
I smoke. I quit once 40 years ago as a result of an abusive marriage and wanting to be "better than" my spouse at the time.
It lasted 20+ years, but I knew if I ever started again, it would be a greater challenge to quit. Remarried to the LOML 20 years later and things were great. He died from pancreatic cancer 9 years after we married. I started again (been 9 years) and I believe I know why I tell myself to continue. I am not worth it. It's me, my fault, my responsibility that I do this to myself. There hasn't been momentum for me since 2015. Nobody else is responsible or accountable.. I'll admit that I am depressed, but that's not the catalyst. Thanks for the videos, I appreciate and enjoy your delivery. I also feel comfortable enough to admit this (not verbally) to someone other than myself. You make a difference. Namaste
Grief can make us believe all sorts of things that aren't true. It messes with your mind so much. But... You are worth it. And don't let yourself tell yourself any different. 💖
@@DaisyPeel Thanks for your note. Your kindness is appreciated.
Same addiction challenge… such a shameful acknowledgment for me. I try to hide it.
I’m grateful he’s covering these VERY IMPORTANT issues!
I love that we also talk about life and not only about romantic love, because like the title of your book and this podcast says: it’s also and maybe most importantly about loving life! Thank you, I needed this one and I’m going to enjoy this. ❤❤❤
This is one of the most meaningful episodes I have ever heard. Thank you for sharing your story and being authentic 🙏🏻
Agreed!
I love this episode because is focused at the end on having compasion towards us. The takeaways on how to go through different areas (diets, being single/relationship, developing a new hobbie even) through a 3 Step Guide to have a long-term mindset on those areas at the end was perfect
My 30 min walk its helpful, before work. Im good all day with dealing with depression after a 6 yr breakup. I struggle after i clock out from work, bc im alone at home. Working on how to fill that void. Those hrs b4 bed are the worse, my hopes and dreams feel like they are dead. Due to my age i cant start a family. I not only lost the love of my life (he cheated, i left). I lost the hopes and dreams of the family i wanted.
My heart is feeling calm cool and healed after watching and hearing this❤
This is so funny, my friend and I were just talking about this today. If you don't start developing new habits and routines then when a good partner comes your way you will miss it because you are stuck in the memories of your past and the habits.
omgggggg yes.........
Your latest videos are so extra on point and helpful, thank you so much Matthew! ❤️
❤love is life
This is ABSOLUTELY TRUE!! I say this to myself EVERY DAY!
@12:10-15 @18:15 1) momentum is everything 2) don't trust the thoughts when you have no momentum, 3) what triggers my momentum, 4) what sabatges my momentum when I have it. 5) creating an unsustainable rhythm is what ends up self sabotaging
Our own habits effect our relationships if they effect US individually.
All of our connections feel that trickle down.
GRATEFUL for this excellent coverage of these topics!
(Romance is only possible if you don’t feel like crap 🤣)
Love this one!! These things are all related, and contribute to the type of love life we'll have, in addition to the rest of the parts of our life! I particularly appreciate the commentary on not being afraid to admit that sone things are harder for you than others, and so we need more support in those areas. I actually shared this episode in a chat group about working out, with the message that staying healthy is easier for some of us naturally, and for those who it's not, it's great to acknowledge it without self judgement and find support
Timely episode, Matt. Thanks for your insights.
The most important takeaway for me was the question of sustainablility. “How would ‘it’ look if I were to do it this way for the rest of my life? Is it sustainable?” And for my part, would I want it to be sustainable? That, for me, is at the crux of it.
I could go as far as to say this is a game changer for me, especially if I can move the idea along the continuum from aspirational to practical. Yep, I'm struggling just a bit with that at mo. 😏
I enjoyed and learned a lot from this video. I would love to see more videos like this that don't totally center around romance, but focuses on true self improvement👍🏼
Really helpful and practical. I especially like the part about what are you doing BEFORE the binge, or the unhealthy habit, etc. For some reason I never think about what led up to the behavior, just the behavior itself and then feeling very punitive towards myself because of it. Also liked the part about putting yourself in the environments that will support your new habits. Thank you!
I like that you talk about different things, and would love for you to talk about good habits and communication in established relationships. I’ve recently got married I’ve been really happy, and I would love this to last forever. Haven’t had the greatest example of a marriage growing up…
"Intuitive Eating" (written by Tribole and Resch) is an amazing book on how to heal our relationship with food.
thank you, i'll check that out
One of the best videos you’ve made. Thank you so much for this!
What sets off a good effect of habits for me is yoga.
What sabotaged my momentum: A toxic parental figure convincing me my love for them is love while it isn't.
Thank you, Matthew, for the video, and for sharing the experiences from Africa 🙋🏼♀️
Wow🤯. I was just thinking about this particular topic today and wondering why I sometimes self sabotage and what I can do about it. I want good things for myself and have my set goals, but then sometimes I veer off track due to an "all or nothing" or "extremes" mindset. This came in clutch for me today. Thank you for that.
It’s a difficult but God gave strength to change it, yep a consequence one own actions Amen. Thank you ❤
29:40 such great advice for ppl looking to be in relationships
I prefer solo videos more often
Hello Mathew! I already follow you for a while and this new subject is great, I'd love to listen to more videos on the subject.
Oh, I so feel called out 🙈 the bit about dating..
Needed to hear the truth. Good message as always, Matthew, thanks!
This video is not getting enough credit and this is so important!!
Just a random comment: You are so much cooler now Matt after marrying Audrey.
What a great video full of reasonable, intelligent & applicable advice! Especially the part about eating the thing potentially being how you show up for yourself?! Thank you, Matt, for this refreshing content. In this context, my life makes sense now.
(Full disclosure, I watched this video while eating a pint of of cream) 😂😂😂
Now we all know WHICH problem I have! 🍦
Can you cover limerence?
And another great video!
Playing the long game. Perfect solution.
Love your train of thoughts when it comes to how we fuel or bodies. It’s something I struggle with myself and are trying to work on to change. I’ll keep your thoughts in mind and try use them for me. Thank you for sharing, Matthew :)
great video taking care of oneself with good habits is a good start
Matt i burned out in 2 weeks ! And i had a wonderful first date with her and we were both excited for the second date
Brilliant
Love this topic! ❤
Thank you for the encouragement, kindness and generosity of your time and smarts. You do such a world of good for people you will never even know. Thank you. 🙏
Consistency and Sustainability❤
This was perfect for me today! Thank you!
Thanks you so much, Matthew❤
We are all in charge. We have responsibility - and power
Is it healthy or realistic to utilize the fact that you (know in the back of your head) that, you can “always start over” whenever you fall off track or have a setback… simply because you like to give yourself permission OFTEN to slack off (knowing that you’re not the kind of person who feels comfortable w/rules, strict regimens or feeling fenced in w out options)? Im on the fence with knowing if that’s an inner weakness, or actually an inner strength?
I hadn’t watched the whole vid. Yet… I think I am possibly already practicing the ways you are describing.
Just subscribed xxx
Love this! Thank you
Thank you so much 🤍🤍🤍
✨💞♾️💎✨ 32:23 ✨👌🤩
I want to highlight what is said here.
Thank you so much 🙏💞✨
“Inhabiting the world isn't
just putting yourself around people, it's people, places, things that make you
really feel like you're part of that world. Inhabit it. Don't be a tourist in
the world of the Habit you want to create, go live in that world so that's getting momentum.’ ♾️💎✨
Really good one
I love all of your videos Matthew. But this one about relationship with food is very special to me. Thank u❤
one of the best👏🏻👏🏻
My question to you Matthew (which may sound silly) is am I too old at 52 to seek help via your guidance as a more mature audience participant? main reason I'm asking is this video topic hit home (caught my eye on Shorts Video) Im in 4yr relationship where I live in 'Partners' home (my adult son also resides and likes this man). I am in love but its dysfunctional eg; Im not getting the emotional security I require as a complex trauma PTSD survivor and when I speak up/question suspicious behaviors too much (I am abandoned physically/emotionally at drop of a hat and am coldly given altimatum to comply with relationship rules/conditions or leave as consequence, although he adds he doesn't want this 😳). I know this is not acceptable but I then blame myself for being too jealous/troublesome/needy/wrong, so I remain but in limbo state. The last time he made me leave, only option was to return to elderly Narcissistic fathers home which was even worse 😢 so took up partners conditional offer to return. Oh what to do? and where/how to dig myself out of deep hole Im stuck in? (also have ADHD, struggle with planning, procrastination, confusion). Sorry to ramble on Matthew.
Praying for advice.
Jo from 🇦🇺
Is this a relationship I could sustain for 50 years? Wow....no it is not!!
Why you’re still so handsome Matthew 😍😍😍
Hmm I don't know this would work for me... I want to lose weight and stop comfort eating, which was my crutch during an abusive marriage. I actually went through similar in my early 20s and lost 5.5 stone in 1.5 years because I was motivated to look good to get another partner. I don't want that anymore. I want to get healthy for myself, and my future. So I can't find the motivation. Despite 2.5 years and lots of therapy, I don't feel ready to date, confident to spot the red flags, so I wonder if I'm using my weight as an excuse to not date and to repel men... So that's a mountain to tackle. I know if I lose weight I'd be healthier, feel more confident and live longer, but it's still a stressful time with divorce etc and food is still my crutch. I even started a new hobby to try to focus on that instead, but it's just as well as.
i took away texting this woman who im dating. Instead of texting the entire day, check in once or twice. So that way i am not consttantly awaiting the next text (like a dopamine hit ) but now i feel overwhelmed .So what i can do for the long run is once i already know im into someone and i know i want to see them again. I can just ask to schedule a new date a week or two in advance so that texting isnt about waiting till the next date . Its more about just checking in to show your thinking of that person
Great…where have you been the last 30 years of my life? 😉
Thank You❤
Woot woot 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
Love this❤
You are so funny 😂
First 🎉🎉🎉🎉
❤
💜💜💜