If Jesus Had Been A Typical Teenager. Brian Bates - Full Special

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  • Опубликовано: 17 окт 2024

Комментарии • 282

  • @PoliticalWonderland
    @PoliticalWonderland 3 года назад +171

    Dry Bar is keeping me sane rn. God Bless you all & God Bless the world

  • @noneofyourbusiness302
    @noneofyourbusiness302 3 года назад +109

    This guy is seamlessly funny😁 I was hanging on his every word!

  • @homerj.simpson7562
    @homerj.simpson7562 3 года назад +92

    13:50 I used to play a game with my niece and my nephew, called "Who can stay silent the longest". They LOVED playing it! After a while I would say something and pretend to be angry that I lost, only to demand a rematch.

    • @MrsABC7997
      @MrsABC7997 3 года назад +6

      Brilliant! 😉

    • @valej9387
      @valej9387 3 года назад +2

      I'm taking notes !!!

    • @paulinefinn7075
      @paulinefinn7075 3 года назад +5

      Whatever it takes ... desperate measures for desperate times- I have 11 grandchildren-currently 7 are under the age of 11...

    • @miscellaneousb
      @miscellaneousb Год назад +1

      It's called The Quiet Game. My ADHD son was terrible at it. Lol. I would try anything when he would run his mouth all day sometimes. It usually went something like this:
      Me: Hey let's play the quiet game.
      Son: Yeah!
      Me: Ok, one two three, GO
      (5 seconds pass)
      Son: I lose! 😊

    • @ukeuketv9541
      @ukeuketv9541 Месяц назад

      O ​

  • @Shuummiii
    @Shuummiii 3 года назад +129

    "We both thought we could do better" dead

  • @bbiggs4327
    @bbiggs4327 3 года назад +51

    As a runner and multiple marathoner from way back i really liked his runner jokes.!
    "We will time you.!"
    Sign me up.!

    • @freedonx
      @freedonx 3 года назад +1

      indeed that got me too!

  • @spideydew20
    @spideydew20 3 года назад +57

    "Better make sure it's a full moon." I lost it.

    • @onearmedbandit9543
      @onearmedbandit9543 3 года назад +5

      I have met folks that clueless. Thank you, American Educational System.

  • @godislove9307
    @godislove9307 3 года назад +20

    Hey, Brian, your comedy is brilliant. All of it. I watch a lot of stand-up and you're one of the best I've seen! :)

  • @commonsensecorner7275
    @commonsensecorner7275 3 года назад +6

    HILARIOUS!!! I know my neighbors heard me laughing… 🤣🤣🤣

  • @lisachapman8116
    @lisachapman8116 2 года назад +6

    These give me such a boost to my days!! I appreciate them so much!!

  • @donwilliams2858
    @donwilliams2858 9 месяцев назад

    Brian is so intelligent, open, easy to like, and incredibly funny. His stories are natural choices but at the same time completely unexpected, new. The stories about Jesus as a teenager (especially the "how old" segment), about timing children and adults, about the full moon -- they're all great!!!! With Brian I love the stories where he leads us to see things fresh and to laugh in ways we never anticipate.

  • @MrsABC7997
    @MrsABC7997 3 года назад +15

    My grandparents had a hog farm in a hollar near Lebanon, TN! And the Mennonites helped on the farm! I still have family there!❤ This show was fantastic! 😂🤣😂🤣

  • @globetrekker86
    @globetrekker86 3 года назад +73

    * JC’s high school reunion *
    - “So, what have you been up to, dude?”
    - “Oh, let’s see... Turned some plain water into delicious wine, healed a few folks... You know, the usual”

    • @RyuLongRHOG
      @RyuLongRHOG 3 года назад +4

      You know, the ushe...

    • @cocotug0
      @cocotug0 3 года назад

      @@RyuLongRHOG p

    • @cocotug0
      @cocotug0 3 года назад

      @@RyuLongRHOG 0⁰

    • @cocotug0
      @cocotug0 3 года назад

      @@RyuLongRHOG 00

    • @cocotug0
      @cocotug0 3 года назад

      @@RyuLongRHOG pp

  • @Loctorak
    @Loctorak 3 года назад +62

    Brilliant! Not a religious person, but I grew up in a religious family so I still get all those references (not that they made up the whole set, but you get what I mean).
    Also not fussed on dirty vs clean jokes, but it has to be said that I respect a good joke all the more if it happens to be clean cause I just feel like thats harder to write, without leaning on easy material like sexual gags or swearing to pad it out.
    So two thumbs up, from me! Would gladly go to one of his shows if I lived even remotely close to America 😅

    • @MrsABC7997
      @MrsABC7997 3 года назад

      Agreed!

    • @vickiedavidson1230
      @vickiedavidson1230 3 года назад +4

      SootheOperator I agree. It takes intelligence!! To know what is real life and call it for what it is. I don't even live remotely close to America either, I live in South Carolina. HaHaHaHa😁

    • @summerd7668
      @summerd7668 2 года назад +2

      Yeah, it turns out Christians can be funny too. The mark of a good comic is being able to keep the audience engaged without foul content. It's hard to enjoy the joke when the material is nothing but raunchy material and foul language.

  • @creativevirgo12
    @creativevirgo12 3 года назад +10

    Better be a FULL Moon! OMG that is just too funny!

  • @globetrekker86
    @globetrekker86 3 года назад +33

    “Maybe he does the books”... Sounds like Jerry is St. Peter’s assistant

  • @allisonmcleod2860
    @allisonmcleod2860 2 года назад +5

    Hilarious!!! I love his standup and his back and forth with Nate on The Nateland Podcast!

  • @jenniferwiley-wright4847
    @jenniferwiley-wright4847 Год назад +2

    Jesus “I don’t know, what year is it??
    Why did this joke have me cracking up all day. 😂😂😂

  • @daveyjones9930
    @daveyjones9930 3 года назад +7

    I went on a 2 year MORMON mission to Australia!
    The two best years of my life.....up to that point.
    Each 2 years AFTER my 2 year mission has been *exponentially BETTER!!*
    ANY year when people weren't cursing me/us out, sun up to sun down, HAD to be better!!

  • @chrisb8127
    @chrisb8127 3 года назад +23

    Thats pretty cool. Im from Lebanon TN also. Ill have to check out more of this guys shows. John Mulaney said the worst shows of his life was in Murfeesboro TN just down the road and look where he is now.

  • @eddiepanda8564
    @eddiepanda8564 2 года назад +3

    Brian “Breakfast” Bates is the man ! Im not religious but love this dude

  • @itoibo4208
    @itoibo4208 2 года назад +3

    The marathon joke was the best.

  • @traceym.637
    @traceym.637 3 года назад +14

    Omg the moon joke...his friend 😳 speechless.🙄😂

  • @jbyepitsme4330
    @jbyepitsme4330 3 года назад +7

    LOL!!🤣🤣🤣👍👏This guy is hilarious!! Look forward to more his stand up

  • @iammikevaldes
    @iammikevaldes 2 года назад +6

    Great job, Breakfast!! Loved this set. 🤘🏼

  • @kbean5338
    @kbean5338 3 года назад +22

    His ‘mormon’ joke had the audience roar with laughter. SO good. Can’t wait to see him again.

    • @somecrazyveteran
      @somecrazyveteran 3 года назад +2

      That's because Mormonism is a joke lol

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 3 года назад

      @@somecrazyveteran So is that beret you’re wearing. It’s so ‘woke’ isn’t it?

    • @somecrazyveteran
      @somecrazyveteran 3 года назад +1

      @@kbean5338 It's not woke, it was a part of my Army Service Uniform, and I still have that beret, because I earned the title of United States Soldier. If you're mad that you never did anything with your life, don't get mad at me because I did.

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 3 года назад

      @@somecrazyveteran And your beret is gay

    • @kbean5338
      @kbean5338 3 года назад +1

      @@somecrazyveteran Why did the Army change to a black beret? To be more inclusive. Woke.

  • @RadostinVelchev
    @RadostinVelchev 3 года назад +74

    He is that one Uber driver who will tell you that he performs on stage and he actually does :D

    • @angeladouglas1789
      @angeladouglas1789 3 года назад +1

      Wow, you worked that out all by yourself well done duh

    • @noglenogle
      @noglenogle 2 года назад

      Yea, but it's no "Cash Cab"!

  • @nikbrownell
    @nikbrownell 3 года назад +4

    I'm so glad you guys mentioned this on Nateland! It's Breakfast time!

  • @lorenzovonmatterhorn7402
    @lorenzovonmatterhorn7402 3 года назад +153

    Im glad that Stuart from the Big bang theory found himself a new life.

  • @melaniestarkey7868
    @melaniestarkey7868 3 года назад +21

    He was really good I'd like to see more of his

  • @nathaliekohlman3252
    @nathaliekohlman3252 2 года назад +3

    Really enjoyed his intelligence. And his self-deprecating humor. Not easy to do. Liked him as a person. Felt I knew him. Likeable.

  • @carlbaumeister3439
    @carlbaumeister3439 3 года назад +15

    He’s not only funny, he’s extremely likable.

  • @ryotaarai3816
    @ryotaarai3816 3 года назад +43

    He might've been the one that roomed with the other comedian who had to sleep with earplugs and a tidy whities over his eyes coz his roommate had a cpap mAchine for his sleep apnea and likes his light on while he sleeps.

    • @MA-mh1vs
      @MA-mh1vs 3 года назад +4

      Yeah, funny for a joke and all but unless your cpap is hooked up to oxygen they just sound like a fan.

    • @ohdiggy8038
      @ohdiggy8038 3 года назад +1

      Yes!

  • @thedigitalpeople
    @thedigitalpeople 2 года назад +3

    Hello Folks, Bartholomew Bates is hilarious, Never knew about him until listening to the Nateland Podcast. They mess with him and call him Breakfast Bates, Sorry Bartholomew they tease you so bad. Real fans know how awesome you are.

  • @kittyp1569
    @kittyp1569 3 года назад +10

    LOVE the jokes about timing little kids to do stuff - its TOTALLY true! As a mom & working PT in elementary schools for

  • @linkibetv
    @linkibetv Месяц назад

    Killer callback! Nicely done - I shared this with my friends in TN so now they'll be looking for you on their next Uber trip.

  • @maryksnyder1155
    @maryksnyder1155 5 месяцев назад

    Jesus!! Too funny! 😂 Had to share with my husband!!

  • @kimberlythompson678
    @kimberlythompson678 3 года назад +37

    I totally get the sleep apnea joke. I also have it and my family loves to tell me different sleeping positions. Like really....

  • @lonniemead4258
    @lonniemead4258 2 года назад +4

    Very funny. Talented.

  • @johnhenryjanning8927
    @johnhenryjanning8927 3 года назад +19

    Weird youtube recommended this when the whole reason I came to watch the undertaker throw mankind off of the cage

  • @ericlawrence9060
    @ericlawrence9060 3 года назад +2

    Wow... He is GREAT! Better make sure it's a full moon! Things i can do with my niece while resting.

  • @rebekahambrose5839
    @rebekahambrose5839 2 года назад +1

    He's actually funny. Enjoyed that.

  • @justyoga5118
    @justyoga5118 6 месяцев назад

    So glad I looked for this! Great set Brian!

  • @kvt41pq
    @kvt41pq 3 года назад +3

    BRILLIANT!!!!

  • @nodgelyobo1
    @nodgelyobo1 3 года назад +2

    Definitely a hierarchy in comedy like music where a lot of crap ones get to the top and the good ones stay in the middle...this guy is excellent...

  • @karro_thatisall
    @karro_thatisall 3 года назад +2

    The full moon joke got me😂

  • @zombierobotsheep
    @zombierobotsheep 3 года назад +8

    Way to go, Brineshrimp!!

  • @bob75ma
    @bob75ma 2 года назад +2

    im not a Christian but i absolutely love this guy. very funny and super likable.

  • @janicenowicki9044
    @janicenowicki9044 3 года назад +5

    I'm timing you...you made me laugh for 24:08 minutes (that's how long the video was :) ... No Sir...Thank...YOU ;)

  • @reacher8042
    @reacher8042 3 года назад +5

    This is golden

  • @lauriepeters5936
    @lauriepeters5936 2 года назад +2

    He is really funny and likable!

  • @aalm7966
    @aalm7966 3 года назад +5

    Finally a good one it's been a while

  • @NYSignfield
    @NYSignfield 3 года назад +2

    @brianbates I just found this from Nateland and loved your texting yourself joke. I just did this last week when I woke up at 2am and sent myself a question to find the answer to the next day. The next day in the middle of the day I looked at my phone and saw the text, not realizing it was from me texted back an answer then co-workers had to ask why I was laughing so hard.

  • @yellowswallowtail33
    @yellowswallowtail33 3 года назад +13

    Your hilarious! Clean, funny observations and funny. Period. 👏

  • @pylgrymkid
    @pylgrymkid 7 месяцев назад

    Loved this. Needed the laughs today.

  • @KLMJRM2009
    @KLMJRM2009 2 года назад

    Love Mr. Bates and was brought here thanks to my favorite podcast, Nateland! ❤️❤️

    • @donwilliams2858
      @donwilliams2858 9 месяцев назад

      Same here - I really wanted to see Brian doing stand-up, and he's amazing in all kinds of ways.

  • @amelialeigh9290
    @amelialeigh9290 3 года назад +13

    Great pick me up.. side note he kinda looks like Gomer Pyle lol

    • @Mementomorichild
      @Mementomorichild 3 года назад +1

      kinda sounds like him too 😆

    • @cUser691
      @cUser691 3 года назад +1

      @Amelia Leigh... your comment struck- agree- getting Gomer Pyle vibes- thx it brought back that tv series -goofiness and fun

  • @saxon6
    @saxon6 3 года назад +1

    Brilliant Ending. BRAVO

  • @randyhogan1603
    @randyhogan1603 7 месяцев назад

    This guy is good
    I just saw a later special of his last night. Enjoyed it as well as this one

  • @beckys5461
    @beckys5461 3 года назад +9

    Jesus: Here's a clue... what year is it?
    Uncle: 3775. What's that got to do with anything?

    • @willhaven8778
      @willhaven8778 3 года назад

      the year AD (after the death of Christ)? his calculation of this is wrong. Besides, Jewish calendar is older

    • @G35Jeff
      @G35Jeff 3 года назад +2

      @@willhaven8778 Anno Domini (AD) means the year of our lord.

  • @curtisbrownr09
    @curtisbrownr09 3 года назад +2

    That undertaker joke😂😂😂

  • @NothingButLol
    @NothingButLol 3 года назад +11

    The wrestling shout hurt me but healed me at same time

  • @BestEvaGal
    @BestEvaGal 3 года назад +2

    Thank you! For calling members of Jesus's Church who they are! 🤩

  • @plentygood6
    @plentygood6 3 года назад

    The time and hair bits killed me!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @MPHswayze
    @MPHswayze 2 года назад

    I'm about to settle in and watch this Bilbo! LET'S GOOOOOO!!!

  • @barbaragreen4633
    @barbaragreen4633 3 года назад +2

    Full moon...
    HILARIOUS!

  • @leesmith5419
    @leesmith5419 3 года назад +3

    You’re really a pretty funny comedian I really enjoyed the show

  • @shakararolle836
    @shakararolle836 2 года назад +1

    I truly enjoyed that!!

  • @educatethemax9714
    @educatethemax9714 3 года назад

    "Make sure it's a full moon!" BWA-HA-HA-HA

  • @TheElhombresombre
    @TheElhombresombre 3 года назад

    Bippidibop Bates, you are awesome! First time seeing your stand up. Love your smart brand of humor.

  • @Sarahh185
    @Sarahh185 2 года назад

    I love this, I also time kids to encourage them to do stuff. LOL

  • @dawleymatthew
    @dawleymatthew 2 года назад +1

    Hello folks! Great set, Breakfast!

  • @silvertrees6326
    @silvertrees6326 3 года назад +2

    😂 so funny!

  • @georgebourlos1430
    @georgebourlos1430 3 года назад +4

    thr girlfriend part ... 7'43'' hilarious

  • @somecrazyveteran
    @somecrazyveteran 3 года назад +1

    I’ve driven past the exact place in Lebanon, Tennessee that he’s talking about. It’s a huge area. Lebanon is a nice small Tennessee town.

  • @Drigoon12
    @Drigoon12 3 года назад +6

    Are you talking about Aaron when it comes to wrestling? Anyway great special bran cake

  • @danielboachie
    @danielboachie 3 года назад +1

    This crowd didn't appreciate that undertaker joke enough.

  • @gouridange2783
    @gouridange2783 2 года назад

    The full moon sliver moon one is hilarious

  • @theemarydee1610
    @theemarydee1610 6 месяцев назад

    I’d only known him as a comedian on Nateland podcast. Omg. He is so funny

  • @wsmith4020
    @wsmith4020 3 года назад +1

    Hello folks! Bald Eagle killing it!

  • @dianedonohue9855
    @dianedonohue9855 3 года назад +2

    Great job!!

  • @angelreyes6087
    @angelreyes6087 3 года назад +2

    was looking for a video to watch tonight from DRYBAR comedy...Jesus literally told me to watch this one with a big fat smile on his face lol, people dont know he has humor too,most who read this will think im nuts which is ok but to those that do understand n know im not playing, he told me to comment this for you individuals so yall can see hes in these kind of things too lol.

  • @JDRSBUMPERSTICKERS
    @JDRSBUMPERSTICKERS Год назад

    🙏 brother!!

  • @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter
    @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter 3 года назад +6

    THE UNDERTAKER

    • @Mazxlol
      @Mazxlol 3 года назад +3

      I don’t think anyone in the crowd knew much about wrestlemania 😂

    • @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter
      @JazzyUnderscoreTrumpeter 3 года назад +3

      @@Mazxlol yeah, lol, no one in that crowd seemed to understand that joke

    • @catherinepunchcousins1435
      @catherinepunchcousins1435 3 года назад +1

      I laughed way tooooo much at this joke!!!! Love the Undertaker 😃

  • @ianbarber4542
    @ianbarber4542 3 года назад +8

    I was jogging behind this one girl, but I have many regrets.

  • @velislavastaneva6825
    @velislavastaneva6825 3 года назад +2

    Hahhahaahah what if we time you 😂😂😂

  • @thebeardedman-drenaline5546
    @thebeardedman-drenaline5546 2 года назад

    Really enjoyed this🤣🤣

  • @popastoppa838
    @popastoppa838 8 месяцев назад

    Just met this man in person💯

  • @zac3392
    @zac3392 3 года назад +2

    Breakfast Bob Ripplepants looking worried...

  • @B4ckup
    @B4ckup 3 года назад +1

    Let's Go, Breakfast!!

  • @barefootanimist
    @barefootanimist 3 года назад +21

    You don't have to believe in a god to find some Dry Bar Comedy funny.

    • @dracuella
      @dracuella 3 года назад +9

      I'm kinda enjoying the fact that the jokes are cleaner and less swear-y. I mean, I don't mind swearing but it feels like a lot of comedians fall back to swearing, punching down, and trying to be as crass as possible when they can't come up with intelligent comedy. I far prefer this.

    • @Loctorak
      @Loctorak 3 года назад +7

      @@dracuella totally agree. I've been a huge comedy fan basically my entire life. Heard the lamest jokes, heard the dirtiest jokes and everything in between. But I never laugh hardest than when I hear a clever, unexpected but totally clean joke.
      There's no doubt it's harder to get laughs without resorting to sex jokes, toilet humour or swearing. I have a huge respect for any comedian that can pull that off, and I would say this man definitely did. 😁

    • @dracuella
      @dracuella 3 года назад

      @@Loctorak Yeah, I totally agree, pulling that off requires so much more than 'hurr durr something-something lewd'. It's probably why I have a particular fondness for a lot of British stand up artists, like Eddie Izzard who is by all rights an incredibly intelligent human being who does some of the most laughter-inducing standup, I've ever seen.

    • @barefootanimist
      @barefootanimist 3 года назад +1

      @@dracuella Comics are having to try harder to be funny, and it mostly works.

    • @pepinillorick5741
      @pepinillorick5741 3 года назад +3

      It does put a barrier on it tho, for example, i can't understand how he can't see that jesus comimg back from the grave is just as dumb as to think that wrestling is real.
      But in a way i get 2 jokes in one, but one is just sad tho.

  • @BenMarti1000
    @BenMarti1000 2 года назад

    Gonna take Jerry a while to get up all those steps 😂

  • @danceswithtwins8048
    @danceswithtwins8048 3 года назад +2

    A good friend of mine who is Mormon told me she was just fine with continuing to be called “Mormon” - she is in her 80’s and says she doesn’t have time to say all that new stuff instead. Life is short - don’t waste it on the little stuff.

  • @pattykilpatrick9425
    @pattykilpatrick9425 3 года назад +1

    He’s funny. My pastor last week just said that God probably has a great sense of humor. Looking at people saying wow look at Mark he has two different socks on hahaha. I’m sure he does laugh at us sometimes.

  • @cmoyo6359
    @cmoyo6359 3 года назад +1

    Very funny set

  • @everupward594
    @everupward594 3 года назад +1

    Hello folks! Good to see Barbecue's doing well with the comedy.

  • @Smartalex08
    @Smartalex08 3 года назад

    I would bet all the rice in China the friend that showed him how to breathe was Nate. 🤣 Let’s goooo folks!

  • @oussiebossie
    @oussiebossie 3 года назад

    this guy should have a podcast

  • @dustincrane8388
    @dustincrane8388 3 года назад +1

    Let's GOOOOO Folks!

  • @Dark_Heart_Soul
    @Dark_Heart_Soul 2 года назад

    I really enjoyed this stand up special. I’d like to see more full shows from this guy. Great job.

  • @jodirenaud7917
    @jodirenaud7917 3 года назад +3

    Funny stuff right there!😂