Omg, its 3am and I found your Smosh reaction video and now I see youre a fellow ace? Thats so awesome. I never see us mentioned so to stumble upon an ace content creator (without searching for one) is amazing for me. Especially one with such a soothjng voice as yours! Yay! ❤
For a long time, I didn't really understood that I was aro-ace / aro-fictosexual because all those sexual orientations and terms aren't usually talked about. I had a few girlfriends in elementary and middle school, but I never felt like I was in love or was interested... More exactly : I just felt nothing. I only dated them because they approached me and it seemed like the "normal" thing to do... I only had sexual attraction for fictional characters of all sexes, though my tastes were more aimed at male and intersex characters, so I thought I was maybe gay or bisexual... I tried straight and gay relationships in high school and, again, nothing. I never had any attraction for anyone, never thought someone was pretty or handsome, never really had pleasure during sex, I don't like kissing, hell I don't even like hugging... I felt so bad, not just for myself but for every partner I had, it made me feel guilty as if everything was my fault. One time, at a party, a friend left his phone unlocked and someone played a prank on him by changing his ringtone to the moaning of a famous porn actress; When we talked about it, everyone in the room had immediately recognized the moans, except me. Everyone was watching me like I was a freak, and when I was asked, I just said that I didn't watched porn (it would have been harder to explain and I wasn't aware that I was fictosexual at the time). Things got worse and friends I had known for years looked at me like I wasn't human anymore... Things got awkward with them for a while and I felt like I was broken. Was I bound to be alone and unloved for the rest of my life? It's thanks to the show BoJack Horseman and some searching on the internet that it clicked with me that I was "aro-ace". I was nice to finally be able to put a label on what I was and how I felt. And it was nice to see how the characters were accepting Todd. With time, things got better and I accepted myself. Sorry, I hope I'm not oversharing, but I feel like I had to write about my own experience.
I don't remember if it was before or after i came out as ace but me, my bisexual friend, and my pansexual friend were all in a bedroom just watching music videos when one of my friends put on the music video to P!ATD "Girls/Boys/Girls" (i think thats the name) and in the video Urie is um LMAO naked while singing and i remember my friends getting really excited and frustrated with all the cutaways from his body while I was uncaring about his body and just 100% invested in trying to figure out whose face was tattoed on his arm bc it intrigued me-- definitely an ace affirming moment for me 😂
i’ve often felt similarly when it comes to romance because i’m demiromantic (with fluctuating romantic attraction once i actually know the person). i know so many demisexual people, but i don’t know more than maybe two arospec folks. being autistic, polygamous, gray(flux)sexual, and demi(flux)romantic makes for a great queerplatonic open relationship or polygamous relationship. i’m still coming to terms with it after over 2 years of initially coming out, and i’m so glad being a nerd has helped expose me to communities and labels that’ve made understanding myself so much easier. i love your content and keep it up! :D
My sister came out to me as ace-aro when she was 21 and I was 13. I really didn't see the big deal. She told me and I was like "cool" and that was it. I understood it immediately because it's really not a hard concept. Maybe it's because I was exposed young, but it makes so much sense. I'm not ace or aro, but when I heard it I went "well that sounds great, I wish we all were like that" When she came out to a friend's of ours, for some reason he couldn't wrap his head around it. "Yeah but you still want sex, right" "I literally just said I didnt" "but you want a boyfriend?" "I dont want a spouse of any kind ever" (i was there as her emotional support sister) he ranted about it to his girlfriend and... well, they were nasty about it. We're not friends with them anymore.
Woot! Part of the 1%. Growing up I thought I was normal and TV and movies were just hypersexualized. Didn't understand until college and beyond how the regular world is.
Hint to people who get upset with their partner because “they ALWAYS have to initiate sex” you may be involved with someone who is Ace. They may not even know they are Ace, but maybe have a conversation about it instead of getting pissy about not gettin enough. My 2 cents 😊
I'm really looking forward to season 3 of Heartstopper, as in s2 there was a character who's started their journey of coming to terms with being aroace, and there will likely be a second character to come out as ace in s3, so i can't wait for october!!
Oh hey, a fellow asexual! I got so excited lol - totally relate to your experience growing up, and even now. I’m even more glad I stuck around on your channel now m’dear ^^ Edit: Also thank you for bringing more light to asexuality
I've never thought about him like that, but he really is 😮 Oda literally gave him the "hottest" character as a potential love interest and Luffy had near everything else besides her on his mind, other than just interacting with her normally
7:26 that segment from S.. Education really spoke to me, I didn’t learn about the term “ace” until I was 39, and up to that point I really believed that I was somehow broken. I even brought it up during therapy, but my therapist probably didn’t fully understand what I meant, because she said “that’s normal, it comes and wanes, don’t worry about it.” “Lost my v-card” when I was 26 in a desperate attempt to belong/fit in, but it was clear that it didn’t do anything for me, and if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it.
as a legends of tomorrow fan i completely understand where you are coming from, and for sure the writing of the show is... something, but thats kinda like a part of the show, w just accepted the insaneness that the show had. As an ace person watching when the episode came out it did make me happy to have that rep in a show i was watching already, i think aside from that though, the show in general had really good rep for the queer community and it was kinda just like a fun little insane thing that the fandom just accepted.
I’m also a big fan of legends but I will say the spooner coming out scene was pretty poorly written. They’ve had lgbtq+ characters that are written much better. Sara and Ava’s relationship is well written, Constantine and Gary’s sexualities were explored in a very casual way, and even in the same season, Gwyn’s sexuality was explored incredibly well, especially through his particular perspective of being in a religion that says his feelings for Alun were sinful. On the other hand, the scene with Zari and Spooner feels incredibly off. Zari basically comes out on Spooner’s behalf. Spooner doesn’t get to discover her identity for herself, Zari just pushes that label on her and tells her the dictionary definition of asexual, and then Spooner just kinda accepts it.
@calvine295 I mean, he's from the 1900s, makes sense he wouldn't know what that is. Plus, hey, I think queer villains are just as important as queer protagonists as long as the queerness isn't WHAT makes them bad; because, frankly, we can be anything. Including the worst!
*I wrote this comment 2 months ago, but I went through my comments history & found that this was posted in an unrelated video. I have NO clue how that happened but better late than never, I guess lolol.* One of my favorite shows has an aroace character named Lilith Clawthorne (from "The Owl House"). It's a Disney channel animated show that ended last year & I'm OBSESSED. The creator & actor addressed that Lilith is both while it aired, but it's not addressed in the program. The show mainly takes place in a magical world where queer sexuality & gender identity is normalized, so there isn't a reason for anyone to feel like they're "broken" or "unwell" in their realm. The show's third season was cut short so there was a LOT of lore & context we missed out on. (Yes, the whole fandom is still salty over it haha.) Also Lilith is an adult & a side character so it wasn't relevant to the plot of the show. (I think the Disney censors also had an impact in what can be aired too lol.) Another asexual character that popped into my mind is Isaac Henderson from "Heartstopper" on Netflix. He's in the main character's friend group; he's reserved & quiet so we didn't know much about him until the second season when he learns about asexuality. He goes through an arc that's similar to the clips that were shown in this video. The show explicitly shows that he's asexual, but I'm not certain about aromantic. I've read comments & posts saying that he's aroace, but I'm not sure since I don't recall anything about that. TLDR: 2 asexual characters I know of in recent media are Lilith Clawthorne from "The Owl House" & Isaac Henderson from "Heartstopper". Both are amazing shows with incredible representation so I recommend everyone to watch them!
17:30 sounding off? I can't say I've seen the episode, but I can relate to that snippet and your description/explanation. As to your question about experiences coming out, I had mostly positive responses. Nothing negative thankfully. I got your Smosh TNTL reaction recommended and saw this when looking at your channel. I'm at a life stage where seemingly I don't hear any discussions, or the same hyper sexual world you mentioned and that I recall struggling with as a teenager and in my early 20s at uni. It's been a long while since I sought out any ace discussions and to find this without trying was refreshing! It's great to hear your perspective and also reassuring to hear someone with similar experiences. Thanks for sharing :)
A part of the problem in conveying asexuality is in the rift between the perception of what an asexual should be like and the depth of differences between different asexuals. When people hear "asexual" they think of the sex negative aro-ace person who wants no touch, no romance and no exposure to sexuality at all. While in reality you can have a sex positive asexual who doesn't mind having sex. They just don't have the drive nor active interest for it. But they have no issues doing it for their partner's sake.
Hi! So yeah I was a pretty big Legends fan, watched all of the DC CW shows for a while, and at the time I was so excited when we learned Spooner was asexual, as it was the first time I'd seen an ace person on cable tv come out on a show I was already watching and didn't have to seek out. But yeah looking back at the actual scene, they could have handled it much better, in a more organic way, and not Zari telling her after exactly one conversation about it. The show also ended either that season or the next and they didn't really explore her Asexuality more than that, at least to my memory. Also, I love Sirens! I watched it after it had been off the air for a while, and Voodoo, the (aro?) ace paramedic, is an awesome character. Some of her co-worker's reactions, like Brian's in the clip, are not the best, but it does feel more accurate to how real allo people would react to ace folk. Funny aside, growing up a lot of my friends were pairing up and getting crushes and everything, and thankfully at least back then I didn't think I was broken, more I thought that all of my classmates must be unattractive and there must be much more attractive boys at other schools/the rest of the world. People just thought I was picky/waiting for the right guy. It took until after college for me to realise that yeah, no, I'm just not that interested, in like most of the population. So yeah it took a while to come to terms with that and before I came out to friends and family I just lied, told people I was going on dates that just didn't work out when In reality I've never been on a date and I don't think I want to in the future. I never saw an ace character in any media growing up, it was never an option, until I stumbled on the term on the internet and did my own research. I've since found some really great books with Ace characters, Loveless and Radio silence by Alice Oseman are some favorites. It also turns out my best friend growing up is also under the ace umbrella, which was really cool. I've def had some more than awkward reactions from family, and people telling me it's just a phase, or you can't know that yet, or it's not natural, or people telling me that they think they're a little bit ace, when they don't really understand what being ace means. and yeah, at least now my family's a little more understanding/accepting, but it took some time to get here, and shoving a few asexual non fiction books into my parent's hands.
Sooooo..... I'm not sure how old you are but honestly in the early 2000's the asexual label was more like how people would use incel today. It's not anything directly against actual asexual people, the social consciousness was starting to get aware of what asexuality was. The problem was there was a subset of internet troll that coopted the title..... the arguments of I might not be getting laid but I'm asexual so it wouldn't matter seemed to very often fit with people kinda hating on women and subcultures but also rampant across more nerdy interests. Not tryin to defend kinda bad humor just pointing something out. yeah legends is almost always bad, it's CW and it tends to be young adult with its relationships and drama. So I also think if you look back at older TV and media you'll find there are 'no nonsense' characters that don't get into relationships or have any interest in sexual encounters with others, like most asexuals they just do their thing and they don't say anything about it, at least in my experience. maybe I look at drama a little different, but I can see some of your points on people learning to accept yourself. Ironically I am a pansexual so mildly opposite end of the spectrum but I don't mind admitting I have caught feelings for an asexual before and was very awkward about it so some of the embarrassment humor of others interacting with the ace people hits a bit close lol. well good luck and have fun.
Thanks for this comment, the early 2000s was certainly a different time, and I am hopeful the new age of media will give us better representation and understanding than what we saw back then. Talking about it like this is what gets us moving forward. And hey, having feelings for someone ace may be awkward, but ya never know, like I said, ace doesn't necessarily mean celibate. So it can work out if there's good communication and it works for both people
I have a sneaky suspicion as people learn about asexuality it'll be one of the more likely accepted identities out there. I think it's less controversial than most gender related issues but asexuality might be getting steamrolled over for the same reason.
When I was a teenager, my mother and I were watching one of those Feed the Children commercials. They were profiling a family where the father had been out of work for 10 years or so (long time ago, so I don’t remember specifics) and could not feed their eight children. I noted that six of his children were under the age of ten and asked why they kept having children even though they couldn’t feed the ones they already had. My mother told me how sexual desire was so powerful that you couldn’t expect them to refrain and that someday I would understand. I never did, lol. (I still think they could have scraped up enough for some condoms.) I eventually figured out I’m AroAce. I’m 58 now, but in my younger days men would give me flowers and I’d ask what the occasion was, lol.
Raphael from Shadowhunters had a decent coming out scene, and while it was never explicitly stated (until the adventuring party of a different season, and not technically a tv show), Riz's scene talking with another character in Fantasy High Sophomore Year makes me tear up every time i rewatch it
I think Jughead (specifically in the Archie comics, I believe the Riverdale series straightwashes him) is usually cited as strong aroace rep, if you can source some good comics to look at for that it might be interesting for you to look at him.
i wanna offer a possibly different take on something you said (as an aroace person i feel like i have say even if it's implied given the context). 30:41 : i prefer asexuality be described as it actually is, even if its a bit awkward to throw a clinical term into dialogue organically. however what i hate more than that is when they dont define it correctly, and it then gets convoluted to something like "oh yeah i dont care about sex" because thats not accurate to asexuality for everyone. the definition comes from if there is attraction there. ace people CAN (if they choose and arent repulsed by it) have sex or be interested in it to a capacity, they just dont feel the attraction part allosexual people do. and as you said its obviously a spectrum! but the thing is you can also be sexually attracted to people and not care about sex, so that definition and a lot of incorrect definitions bother me for that reason. ace people are complex!!! and we deserve good and accurate representation!!!! (this isn't aimed at you it's aimed at the shit rep media gives us) anyway that's my two cents and other than that loved the video so much and its great to see an ace creator on here! your improv reactions are also lovely i love watching you break down smosh vids!
Legends of tomorrow is really good if you love stupidity. That season is one of thr weaker ones and yeah it was a little forced especially since before this the show was kinda hinting at a relationship with Astra. That show has mostly queer relationships which were done well.
Legends of Tomorrow has never been good, went extremely downhill after they killed a certain character who was my favorite and added 90% of the comedy and logic. I stopped watching it a couple episodes after, so I actually didn't get far enough to watch the scene you watched.
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
Omg, its 3am and I found your Smosh reaction video and now I see youre a fellow ace? Thats so awesome. I never see us mentioned so to stumble upon an ace content creator (without searching for one) is amazing for me. Especially one with such a soothjng voice as yours! Yay! ❤
This is the best thing to read :) so glad you found the channel
Oooooh, same!
Same! It’s fun to find a fellow ace person
For a long time, I didn't really understood that I was aro-ace / aro-fictosexual because all those sexual orientations and terms aren't usually talked about.
I had a few girlfriends in elementary and middle school, but I never felt like I was in love or was interested... More exactly : I just felt nothing. I only dated them because they approached me and it seemed like the "normal" thing to do... I only had sexual attraction for fictional characters of all sexes, though my tastes were more aimed at male and intersex characters, so I thought I was maybe gay or bisexual... I tried straight and gay relationships in high school and, again, nothing. I never had any attraction for anyone, never thought someone was pretty or handsome, never really had pleasure during sex, I don't like kissing, hell I don't even like hugging... I felt so bad, not just for myself but for every partner I had, it made me feel guilty as if everything was my fault.
One time, at a party, a friend left his phone unlocked and someone played a prank on him by changing his ringtone to the moaning of a famous porn actress; When we talked about it, everyone in the room had immediately recognized the moans, except me. Everyone was watching me like I was a freak, and when I was asked, I just said that I didn't watched porn (it would have been harder to explain and I wasn't aware that I was fictosexual at the time). Things got worse and friends I had known for years looked at me like I wasn't human anymore... Things got awkward with them for a while and I felt like I was broken. Was I bound to be alone and unloved for the rest of my life?
It's thanks to the show BoJack Horseman and some searching on the internet that it clicked with me that I was "aro-ace". I was nice to finally be able to put a label on what I was and how I felt. And it was nice to see how the characters were accepting Todd. With time, things got better and I accepted myself.
Sorry, I hope I'm not oversharing, but I feel like I had to write about my own experience.
I don't remember if it was before or after i came out as ace but me, my bisexual friend, and my pansexual friend were all in a bedroom just watching music videos when one of my friends put on the music video to P!ATD "Girls/Boys/Girls" (i think thats the name) and in the video Urie is um LMAO naked while singing and i remember my friends getting really excited and frustrated with all the cutaways from his body while I was uncaring about his body and just 100% invested in trying to figure out whose face was tattoed on his arm bc it intrigued me-- definitely an ace affirming moment for me 😂
Haha this is so relatable! No no, cut back to the tattoo please!
i’ve often felt similarly when it comes to romance because i’m demiromantic (with fluctuating romantic attraction once i actually know the person). i know so many demisexual people, but i don’t know more than maybe two arospec folks. being autistic, polygamous, gray(flux)sexual, and demi(flux)romantic makes for a great queerplatonic open relationship or polygamous relationship. i’m still coming to terms with it after over 2 years of initially coming out, and i’m so glad being a nerd has helped expose me to communities and labels that’ve made understanding myself so much easier.
i love your content and keep it up! :D
My sister came out to me as ace-aro when she was 21 and I was 13. I really didn't see the big deal. She told me and I was like "cool" and that was it. I understood it immediately because it's really not a hard concept. Maybe it's because I was exposed young, but it makes so much sense. I'm not ace or aro, but when I heard it I went "well that sounds great, I wish we all were like that"
When she came out to a friend's of ours, for some reason he couldn't wrap his head around it. "Yeah but you still want sex, right" "I literally just said I didnt" "but you want a boyfriend?" "I dont want a spouse of any kind ever" (i was there as her emotional support sister) he ranted about it to his girlfriend and... well, they were nasty about it. We're not friends with them anymore.
Woot! Part of the 1%.
Growing up I thought I was normal and TV and movies were just hypersexualized. Didn't understand until college and beyond how the regular world is.
Hint to people who get upset with their partner because “they ALWAYS have to initiate sex” you may be involved with someone who is Ace. They may not even know they are Ace, but maybe have a conversation about it instead of getting pissy about not gettin enough.
My 2 cents 😊
I'm really looking forward to season 3 of Heartstopper, as in s2 there was a character who's started their journey of coming to terms with being aroace, and there will likely be a second character to come out as ace in s3, so i can't wait for october!!
Oh hey, a fellow asexual! I got so excited lol - totally relate to your experience growing up, and even now. I’m even more glad I stuck around on your channel now m’dear ^^
Edit: Also thank you for bringing more light to asexuality
So glad to have you here!
🏴☠️Monkey D. Luffy🏴☠️ is my favorite _actual_ ✨aroace icon✨
The popsicle line was accurate tho
I've never thought about him like that, but he really is 😮
Oda literally gave him the "hottest" character as a potential love interest and Luffy had near everything else besides her on his mind, other than just interacting with her normally
7:26 that segment from S.. Education really spoke to me, I didn’t learn about the term “ace” until I was 39, and up to that point I really believed that I was somehow broken. I even brought it up during therapy, but my therapist probably didn’t fully understand what I meant, because she said “that’s normal, it comes and wanes, don’t worry about it.”
“Lost my v-card” when I was 26 in a desperate attempt to belong/fit in, but it was clear that it didn’t do anything for me, and if I had known then what I know now, I wouldn’t have done it.
as a legends of tomorrow fan i completely understand where you are coming from, and for sure the writing of the show is... something, but thats kinda like a part of the show, w just accepted the insaneness that the show had. As an ace person watching when the episode came out it did make me happy to have that rep in a show i was watching already, i think aside from that though, the show in general had really good rep for the queer community and it was kinda just like a fun little insane thing that the fandom just accepted.
I’m also a big fan of legends but I will say the spooner coming out scene was pretty poorly written. They’ve had lgbtq+ characters that are written much better. Sara and Ava’s relationship is well written, Constantine and Gary’s sexualities were explored in a very casual way, and even in the same season, Gwyn’s sexuality was explored incredibly well, especially through his particular perspective of being in a religion that says his feelings for Alun were sinful. On the other hand, the scene with Zari and Spooner feels incredibly off. Zari basically comes out on Spooner’s behalf. Spooner doesn’t get to discover her identity for herself, Zari just pushes that label on her and tells her the dictionary definition of asexual, and then Spooner just kinda accepts it.
We've got Alastor of Hazbin Hotel now, though I'm not sure a serial killing cannibal is the best representation...
He also doesn't go around talking about being asexual much either. Rosie says "I know you're an ace in the hole" and he responds with "A what now?"
Nah, Alastor is the best ace representation, as Alastor is the best boi and perfect in every way.
@calvine295 I mean, he's from the 1900s, makes sense he wouldn't know what that is. Plus, hey, I think queer villains are just as important as queer protagonists as long as the queerness isn't WHAT makes them bad; because, frankly, we can be anything. Including the worst!
I'm demisexual, but I used to identify with asexuality for a while, and Todd from Bojack Horseman was always quite relatable to me in certain things.
*I wrote this comment 2 months ago, but I went through my comments history & found that this was posted in an unrelated video. I have NO clue how that happened but better late than never, I guess lolol.*
One of my favorite shows has an aroace character named Lilith Clawthorne (from "The Owl House"). It's a Disney channel animated show that ended last year & I'm OBSESSED. The creator & actor addressed that Lilith is both while it aired, but it's not addressed in the program. The show mainly takes place in a magical world where queer sexuality & gender identity is normalized, so there isn't a reason for anyone to feel like they're "broken" or "unwell" in their realm. The show's third season was cut short so there was a LOT of lore & context we missed out on. (Yes, the whole fandom is still salty over it haha.) Also Lilith is an adult & a side character so it wasn't relevant to the plot of the show. (I think the Disney censors also had an impact in what can be aired too lol.)
Another asexual character that popped into my mind is Isaac Henderson from "Heartstopper" on Netflix. He's in the main character's friend group; he's reserved & quiet so we didn't know much about him until the second season when he learns about asexuality. He goes through an arc that's similar to the clips that were shown in this video. The show explicitly shows that he's asexual, but I'm not certain about aromantic. I've read comments & posts saying that he's aroace, but I'm not sure since I don't recall anything about that.
TLDR: 2 asexual characters I know of in recent media are Lilith Clawthorne from "The Owl House" & Isaac Henderson from "Heartstopper". Both are amazing shows with incredible representation so I recommend everyone to watch them!
17:30 sounding off? I can't say I've seen the episode, but I can relate to that snippet and your description/explanation. As to your question about experiences coming out, I had mostly positive responses. Nothing negative thankfully.
I got your Smosh TNTL reaction recommended and saw this when looking at your channel. I'm at a life stage where seemingly I don't hear any discussions, or the same hyper sexual world you mentioned and that I recall struggling with as a teenager and in my early 20s at uni. It's been a long while since I sought out any ace discussions and to find this without trying was refreshing! It's great to hear your perspective and also reassuring to hear someone with similar experiences. Thanks for sharing :)
A part of the problem in conveying asexuality is in the rift between the perception of what an asexual should be like and the depth of differences between different asexuals.
When people hear "asexual" they think of the sex negative aro-ace person who wants no touch, no romance and no exposure to sexuality at all. While in reality you can have a sex positive asexual who doesn't mind having sex. They just don't have the drive nor active interest for it. But they have no issues doing it for their partner's sake.
Is there some way to get Nathan Fillion to be there to support aces when they want to come out?
Also, really enjoying your content. Kinda binging it at work...gonna run out soon.😊😊😊
I grew up reading Jughead comics so I never had the word for it but I always knew that I related to Jughead: forget girls, I just want to eat burgers
I cried like a baby during the scene from sex education
Hi! So yeah I was a pretty big Legends fan, watched all of the DC CW shows for a while, and at the time I was so excited when we learned Spooner was asexual, as it was the first time I'd seen an ace person on cable tv come out on a show I was already watching and didn't have to seek out. But yeah looking back at the actual scene, they could have handled it much better, in a more organic way, and not Zari telling her after exactly one conversation about it. The show also ended either that season or the next and they didn't really explore her Asexuality more than that, at least to my memory.
Also, I love Sirens! I watched it after it had been off the air for a while, and Voodoo, the (aro?) ace paramedic, is an awesome character. Some of her co-worker's reactions, like Brian's in the clip, are not the best, but it does feel more accurate to how real allo people would react to ace folk.
Funny aside, growing up a lot of my friends were pairing up and getting crushes and everything, and thankfully at least back then I didn't think I was broken, more I thought that all of my classmates must be unattractive and there must be much more attractive boys at other schools/the rest of the world. People just thought I was picky/waiting for the right guy. It took until after college for me to realise that yeah, no, I'm just not that interested, in like most of the population. So yeah it took a while to come to terms with that and before I came out to friends and family I just lied, told people I was going on dates that just didn't work out when In reality I've never been on a date and I don't think I want to in the future. I never saw an ace character in any media growing up, it was never an option, until I stumbled on the term on the internet and did my own research. I've since found some really great books with Ace characters, Loveless and Radio silence by Alice Oseman are some favorites. It also turns out my best friend growing up is also under the ace umbrella, which was really cool.
I've def had some more than awkward reactions from family, and people telling me it's just a phase, or you can't know that yet, or it's not natural, or people telling me that they think they're a little bit ace, when they don't really understand what being ace means. and yeah, at least now my family's a little more understanding/accepting, but it took some time to get here, and shoving a few asexual non fiction books into my parent's hands.
Sooooo..... I'm not sure how old you are but honestly in the early 2000's the asexual label was more like how people would use incel today. It's not anything directly against actual asexual people, the social consciousness was starting to get aware of what asexuality was. The problem was there was a subset of internet troll that coopted the title..... the arguments of I might not be getting laid but I'm asexual so it wouldn't matter seemed to very often fit with people kinda hating on women and subcultures but also rampant across more nerdy interests. Not tryin to defend kinda bad humor just pointing something out.
yeah legends is almost always bad, it's CW and it tends to be young adult with its relationships and drama.
So I also think if you look back at older TV and media you'll find there are 'no nonsense' characters that don't get into relationships or have any interest in sexual encounters with others, like most asexuals they just do their thing and they don't say anything about it, at least in my experience. maybe I look at drama a little different, but I can see some of your points on people learning to accept yourself.
Ironically I am a pansexual so mildly opposite end of the spectrum but I don't mind admitting I have caught feelings for an asexual before and was very awkward about it so some of the embarrassment humor of others interacting with the ace people hits a bit close lol.
well good luck and have fun.
Thanks for this comment, the early 2000s was certainly a different time, and I am hopeful the new age of media will give us better representation and understanding than what we saw back then. Talking about it like this is what gets us moving forward. And hey, having feelings for someone ace may be awkward, but ya never know, like I said, ace doesn't necessarily mean celibate. So it can work out if there's good communication and it works for both people
I have a sneaky suspicion as people learn about asexuality it'll be one of the more likely accepted identities out there. I think it's less controversial than most gender related issues but asexuality might be getting steamrolled over for the same reason.
fuck, I need to watch bojack horseman, that was entirely and all-encompassingly relatable.
i found you through your smosh reaction vids, i thought i noticed the ring lol
When I was a teenager, my mother and I were watching one of those Feed the Children commercials. They were profiling a family where the father had been out of work for 10 years or so (long time ago, so I don’t remember specifics) and could not feed their eight children. I noted that six of his children were under the age of ten and asked why they kept having children even though they couldn’t feed the ones they already had. My mother told me how sexual desire was so powerful that you couldn’t expect them to refrain and that someday I would understand. I never did, lol. (I still think they could have scraped up enough for some condoms.) I eventually figured out I’m AroAce. I’m 58 now, but in my younger days men would give me flowers and I’d ask what the occasion was, lol.
Raphael from Shadowhunters had a decent coming out scene, and while it was never explicitly stated (until the adventuring party of a different season, and not technically a tv show), Riz's scene talking with another character in Fantasy High Sophomore Year makes me tear up every time i rewatch it
I think Jughead (specifically in the Archie comics, I believe the Riverdale series straightwashes him) is usually cited as strong aroace rep, if you can source some good comics to look at for that it might be interesting for you to look at him.
As an ace guy I appreciate this video 😊😊
i wanna offer a possibly different take on something you said (as an aroace person i feel like i have say even if it's implied given the context).
30:41 : i prefer asexuality be described as it actually is, even if its a bit awkward to throw a clinical term into dialogue organically. however what i hate more than that is when they dont define it correctly, and it then gets convoluted to something like "oh yeah i dont care about sex" because thats not accurate to asexuality for everyone. the definition comes from if there is attraction there. ace people CAN (if they choose and arent repulsed by it) have sex or be interested in it to a capacity, they just dont feel the attraction part allosexual people do. and as you said its obviously a spectrum! but the thing is you can also be sexually attracted to people and not care about sex, so that definition and a lot of incorrect definitions bother me for that reason.
ace people are complex!!! and we deserve good and accurate representation!!!! (this isn't aimed at you it's aimed at the shit rep media gives us)
anyway that's my two cents and other than that loved the video so much and its great to see an ace creator on here! your improv reactions are also lovely i love watching you break down smosh vids!
So i know its not a true asexual representation but I would actually say that Barbie is potentially asexual in Barbie.
Unironically, Monkey D. Luffy night be the best representation tbh
Legends of tomorrow is really good if you love stupidity. That season is one of thr weaker ones and yeah it was a little forced especially since before this the show was kinda hinting at a relationship with Astra. That show has mostly queer relationships which were done well.
Kilborn was known for meanness and misogyny...this doesn't surprise me at all.
Ok, that Legends of Tomorrow scene was pretty cringy and forced admitedly, but the show is usually pretty good and generally is really wild and fun.
Legends of Tomorrow has never been good, went extremely downhill after they killed a certain character who was my favorite and added 90% of the comedy and logic. I stopped watching it a couple episodes after, so I actually didn't get far enough to watch the scene you watched.