For some reason this episode in specific felt like an OG episode. Where the bois would just sit down and discuss about something relatable and have a simple talk.
DUDE YEAH. While I was watching I fr had the same thought. I literally just binged the whole video, and I haven’t done that for a trash taste episode in a while.
he has the most PR mentality out of the 3 of them.. well that's cuz he's younger and more engaged online.. specially since he's doing a lot of streaming which requires a lot of ON the moment thinking.
@@tropik5724yea I definitely think he is both, not to overanalyze but if you pay attention, Connor is always to most who looks at the camera and when he is streaming he does a lot of camera tricks almost effortlessly, this tells me that Connor is the most aware about the camera as the audience and always thinks about he looks like in the perspective of the audience.
Good social intelligence, usually the guy who act innocently stupid in a group has the highest social and emotional intelligence because acting like a monke lightens the atmosphere, its a way to keep the group going, I personally have a hard time even trying to lighten things up, jokes often backfires and sometimes I can't simply find a way to riggle it out, its not that easy to be a monke.
I like how connor was playing with the toy car during the whole ep until it fell at 1:29:03 and then joey started playing with it for the rest of the ep
I don't know if it is just me but this feel like the best Trash Taste episode in a while. Hearing the bois talk about the difficulty of making friend and loneliness feel so relatable and hit me in so many levels
I just finished the episode and was thinking the exact same thing. Episode of the year for me so far, for sure. I love these serious, but still casual chats that are easy to engage with.
Love this episode but in a weird way because I feel so caled out by many things they talk about because I struggle with my loneliness since the pandamic.
Connor generally has the most sensible takes (minus a few things here and there), but especially when it comes to social topics he is EXTREMELY smart and empathetic.
@@KooriGraywolfRIGHT, I know people like to put people into boxes intentionally or not or even adopt and run jokes into the ground that started out as inside jokes between the boys but it does always leave me feeling conflicted over the monkey brain Connor thing. Like obviously I’m sure it doesn’t it bother him, but from the way he talks sometimes with how he can say something profound and wellspoken and just end it with an apology screams a bit of insecurity in what he thinks he’s capable of. It’s a mixture of downplaying himself while being humble and honest about the fact that he’s not an expert Obviously when you have a platform as big as theirs, you gotta pick your words carefully on camera so you’re not selling snake oil accidentally, so I get it! But connors generally categorized as the crazy one, but tbh he reads more as the sensible one, who’s weirdly often a mediator between extremes. My mind always goes back to grant and Joey dunking on the 3 billion settings for games and controllers, only for Connor to chime in with the reason for that being for people with disabilities and how they’ve historically not really been accommodated for when it came to playing video games. It’s not an uncommon or crazy thing to say, but the way he worded it was so earnest. Anytime he says some dumb shit he genuinely doesn’t understand he still tacks it on with some “I’m sure there’s probably a greater history to it that I don’t know or understand that 20 people will tell me in the comments” he even literally did it in about the first 10 mins in the history of fizz discussion I hate to meatride but I just feel bad when someone who’s a multilayered person gets labeled the resident dumbass 💀 I just hope Connors ok and that fans appreciate these sides of him more openly sometimes.
@@KooriGraywolf I think he is trying too hard to be PC. I like Joey because he says what he thinks and in this witch hunting world, credit to him. Garnt has the perfect balance in these debates.
I wanna say I'm super impressed with just how nuanced and empathetic Connor was in this discussion. It might take longer and seem like a tangent when you speak in a way that's trying to consider all perspective but it's not a bad thing. Just showed how considerate he especially could be and the way Joey and Garnt were receptive to everything he said was also nice.
As an introvert in university with hobbies/interests that wildly differ from my peers, along with a healthy dose of social anxiety, I can say that it really does get to you sometimes. There's always this subtle yet ever present disconnect that makes it harder to click with others.
We all know Connor as a funny guy, and we've seen multiple times that he's a decent person, with his charity streams and the amount of support he shows to his friends. However, this episode serves as a reminder that he also has a much more mature side to him, providing some legitimately good insight into mental health and social life.
Right, I died at this part lol: "do you remember the first time you jacked off? I do! I was playing Halo Reach..." 🤣😂🤣 (that is a not a verbatim quote)
Glad Connor brought up Mouse is still a real friend despite not meeting IRL. Was thinking about her all the time that they talked about needing to meet friends IRL for it to be considered real.
Listening to this episode actually made me messaged an old friend that I haven't talk with for a long time. The last time I talked to him he was in a really bad place, I try the best I could but he denied any help because he just want to help himself. Now, about 2 or 3 years after our last message, talking with him feel so nice, he is better now and despite having changed alot, we still talk like before as if nothing changed.
Man this is one of the episodes I kinda wanna watch again but can't bring myself to do it. This episode really made me feel bad, but not because the boys were wrong or anything or shouldn't have talked about something, but because everything was so real and relatable and I felt like I fucked up.
I think it’s actually kinda good that you feel bad. By that I don’t mean that I’m happy you feel shitty cuz frankly I know feeling called out or facing your demons to any capacity is extremely uncomfortable and I don’t think anyone should ever criticize you for feeling a very human thing to feel. I just think that the fact that you’re able to admit that it made you feel bad means that you’re self-aware enough to confront it is admirable cuz not a lot of people can and although you can’t seem to bring yourself to do it I think that being able to identify that you feel bad and that some of the things may be reflective of how you might have behaved means that you have a lot of potential to grow and potentially improve on those things and that right now you’re at a good starting point. Definitely recommend watching stuff on “emotional intelligence” by like school of life or some psychology channel cuz that stuffs helped me personally with improving my life by being able to understand my emotions. Anyways, just thought i’d share this I thought your comment felt very human, and honest, and from a more self-interest standpoint it makes me feel better knowing that I might’ve potentially helped someone out. Otherwise, I hope you feel a little better and good luck, when it comes to feeling the guilt of making morally questionable decisions you’re not alone cuz at the very least I’ve definitely done it, many people have, and I’m sure the bois have too.
@@joaquinmbgi recommend sisyphus55 for that kind of thing. He talks about lonelyness and the human need for connect rather frequently (often in the romantic context, but he does also talk about non-romantic)
Regarding Connor's theory regarding games distracting people from lonlieness, that isn't exactly exclusive to games. As a slightly older person, I used books for that. It's so easy to lose yourself in a huge immersive world, even without a controller in your hand.
At least it's your interest. I know many people who use "work" as their distraction. Agree v much about how easy it is to lose yourself in some areas of life to ignore another...
The main topic of this podcast is very nuanced, but I think it’s a very important conversation to have. Social media has formed false impressions of reality, where people show others what they want them to see and not what’s actually going on. It’s easy to get lonely when interactions aren’t physical, when peoples intentions can’t be fully read or understood, or when you don’t have a lot of social experience. But it’s also important to note that loneliness can also stem from discontent within oneself, and that’s the bigger issue. The happier you are with yourself, the less lonely you will feel, and the higher chance you’ll be able to form healthy and long lasting relationships with other people, so don’t neglect yourself :)
@@kairos_fluent Personal confidence and goals are definitely a big factor, and you're downplaying their influence, by putting the majority of the blame on society. Both are equally important, hence when people work on themselves and/or start therapy, they start to feel less lonely, sad, etc. Dogmatism and off-putting blame is not a good thing. Nuance is a very good thing.
Also, financial struggle is one of the primary sources of loneliness. A lot of people can't socialize outside from work, because they can't afford to pay for tickets, transportation, eating at a restaurant, etc. Or worse, they can't even socialize in work bc they are unemployed.
I remember when I was 10 and my best friend came to the UK on a 1 year visa and her family was rich and we would hang out in central and yeah I’d be there with a glass of water while they’re eating because I grew up with a single mum on benefits and I found trying to hang out with my middle class friends was really awkward and difficult compared to just chilling in the park with a 35p drink with my friends who were also poor ;;
This, and then I feel it links into the social media points mentioned during the ep: if people are showing off their highlights, and those highlights are holidays, cons, etc. (all things which take financial means), it perpetuates this isolation, because then it isn't just a struggle with finding and speaking to people, but like you say, being financially restricted, which then also is an empirical obstacle (i.e. you can observe someone going on fancy holidays you can't afford and then feel not good enough/bad about your own financial situation, and it can make it feel like having financial means is necessary to be friends with certain people, or worse yet, intimidate you to the point of not pursuing friendships with said people). This can all also be applied to dating I feel, too: that cute girl on IG has travelled across Europe/South America/wherever, she must be rich (an assumption which may be right or could also be wrong - she could've saved for years for that trip!) and is thus out of my league because I wouldn't have the means to support [what I assume to be] her lifestyle.
1:30:24 Connor really hitting home here. As the "single friend", I often feel the pressure of a relationship being an end goal, even though it's something I don't necessarily seek right now with my career and hobbies to focus on (and of course, not finding someone I really connect with). I'm fine when I'm on my own, and then one "you'll find someone don't worry" just makes me feel heavily insecure. Maybe it's the feeling of being looked down upon or a feeling of being left out/missing something even if it isn't a priority right now. But great to hear this take from someone I really look up to!!
Birthday trauma unlocked: Inviting the entire (about 30 kids) 4th grade class (turning 10yrs old) to a skating rink and no one showing up....and I still have Bocchi's levels of social anxiety at the age of 39 ...Garnt might be on to something lol
@louislu2317 appreciate the thoughtful response. I do struggle with loneliness, but I'm also ok being alone, if that makes sense. (This episode really spoke to me, lol)
I think Garnt would have an amazing conversation with the psychiatrist twitch streamer and youtuber Dr. K. Garnt's story of developing his sociability throughout his life, as well as being a Buddhist monk, would work so well for holding a conversation with Dr. K and I would love to learn more about this.
I'm glad he got his feelings out and said all this cause I've had similar experiences here and there and even though Ive had friends mostly everywhere I've always felt alone especially at night as a youngster thinking no one really understands me and at times I still think that but not as much now
Hell yeah, my thoughts exactly, Trash Taste X HealthyGamerGG would probably help so many of us struggling not only with the implications of the digital age, but also with deep rooted personal issues.
Connor's take on social media exploiting the mental health vulnerabilities of others was a really wise and well-informed take. You can tell that he's really thought about it and maybe has had conversations about it with others to develop his perspective more.
That's the most vanilla take you can have. It doesn't show competence in the subject that's like saying messaging someone and having a chat in IRL isn't the same and that someone claiming this is wise. It's the NPC answer.
@@icebox1954 do you have a more controversial take on the matter? (not even sure if that's the right word) I just wanna know your opinion on it, if you don't feel like you wanna spare the energy then that's fine as well.
@@sweetmeloday5935 The words you're looking for is "in depth" and although I could go into it the more informed version of what I would say is already freely available from HealthyGamerGG who is a psychiatrist and delves into a lot on the subject. If you're interested in learning about various topics (for example mental health and how social media has an effect on it) instead of the more surface level talks Trash Taste gets into then I'd definitely recommend HealthyGamerGG.
Connor's right about the social media companies designing addiction into the system and Zuckerberg knew exactly what the platform was doing the entire time. That has lead to a lot of schisms in families and misinformation online and contributed to the pandemic of loneliness.
That's true, but unfortunately, negativity and outrage drives more engagement, and thus more business. I think every business who is trying to maximize their margins would gladly focus on positivity if that drove the most engagement. Of course, this isn't fully excusable for such business practices, but it's the sad reality. Just throwing some perspective on the thin line and nuance between profits, business, human psychology, and algorithm biases.
@@ZenTheMCThat take is so American. It's like the market is some force of god that can't be corrected. While having government regulate social media is always a difficult surely there's another way than just accept that those companies are directly causing and profiting off major societal ills. Your mentality is akin to saying you can't stop companies dumbing acid into the river because it's always gonna be the most cost effective way to dispose of it.
I absolutely love the way that this episode goes from serious thoughtfully discussion of modern loneliness to “I remember the exact halo reach map I was playing on before the first time I jacked off.”
I remember seeing a clip where Nyan was praising him for doing just that for her at an event which helped her meet some new vtubers irl - seems a solid guy tbf ha
The conversation about adult friendships was something I needed right now. I’m currently very lost in my friendship groups because I stopped attending college after the pandemic. When they all went to the big cities, and I was left alone, I had very few people whom I could see. Recently when they came home for graduation, and we met up, I felt a gap there with the conversations we have. I’m still learning my way through these as a young adult, but I’m hopeful that I could still connect with my friends. Thank you for this episode. I felt very seen.
Everyone has already said something to the gist of it, but Connor being empathetic and conscious of people's different problems in approaching social situations and always being willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt made this podcast very comfortable. As someone who for the most part only has online friends it felt nice having Connor steer the conversation to recognize online friendship as legitimate.
To Garnt's point about trial by fire for social anxiety. I intentionally double majored in theater with my pre med program because I was like... how am I going to be able to help my future patients if I get anxious when talking to strangers? Acting classes honestly were a great tool, forced me to seek discomfort and channel it, and gave me a community of supportive people. Would highly recommend it.
As someone in and out of college 9/10 the only reason I talked to people at school was if someone needs a pencil or paper And we were forced to work in a group So seems accurate to me
Im in college and I have managed to make friends, it’s definitely harder than in high school tho, everyone is it’s own world worrying about their stuff that there’s barely anytime to hang out.
I agree that this should be nominated for the next Trash Taste Awardsw. I live for these mature discussions about everyday things. And shoutout to Connor for respectfully talking about things from a different point of view from the other boys (counterpoint to "online friends aren't real friends" = Ironmouse, for example). Also, I'm happy that the boys finally popped the cork on talking about sex. And they talked about it in a very non-alpha male way that I found fun and comfortable to listen to. The boys are being great role models on how to talk about these kinds of things with your mates, in my opinion.
Haven’t even finished the episode yet and this is already in my top 3. I’m right at the cusp of leaving a friend group to more or less strike it out on my own and listening to how they’re explaining different things throughout the episode is giving me the assurance and confidence that most everything will be ok and I’ll find my path no matter where it goes. This is why I listen to trash taste
The difference between acquaintance and real friends to me is an equal and abundant exchange of vulnerability. Like garnt, it's the feeling of me not putting up a personality and having that everything be received and reciprocated
Must we be vulnerable in order for it to be real though?? Why is not putting up a personality considered "vulnerable" to you. Just curious, even though I agree about being received and reciprocated :)
I can carry on a fun, getting to know you convo just fine. But for me, It's been a long time since I've talked about my feelings or things that are important to me. It's just general anxiety tings but most of the time I feel pretty vapid in my convos, almost like an NPC lol. Whenever I can be serious and not hold back because I know that you just want to listen and not make me feel invalid, whenever I don't worry that my first instinct to talk is bothersome to you, and I do all the same for you, is when in my head, I register this as something more.
@@ezzatisaid I think it’s different for everyone the reason why people have started oversharing a lot more with strangers is because it’s kind of a speedrun to get closer to someone if someone shares something personal with you or is vulnerable with you it shows they trust you or care enough to tell you which makes you feel comfortable or flattered and in a normal friendship this slowly happens throughout the relationship as you trust each other more but I agree there are some relationships where that may not necessarily happen and that doesn’t mean you’re not close like you may just not have anything to share in those moments but you’re still comfortable with them so I guess it just depends on you and the person and your relationship
Philip Auslander wrote a book called "Liveness" a while back, exploring the idea that we didn't differentiate performances as "live" or not until the invention of recording devices. So, 44:38 Connor has a solid point about online friend vs. real life friend being an odd distinction. Even the idea of "Pen Pals" prior to internet times isn't the same, since we have audio / video capabilities and it's real time.
7:19 I burst out laughing after noticing Connor spent TWO MINUTES spinning that fucking toy car and was not able to concentrate on the conversation after that
These topics come so handy because as a 22 year old introverted man who goes to university I thought often if I'm lonely and how to overcome these feelings which has led to sleepless nights. Even to have good friends and be happy these feelings exist.
@@kairos_fluentI work in a part time job, but with 2 other colleagues who I know in private. Most of the customers are older (40+) and there is not that much communication between us and the customers
@@Kenan2300 I see. Well, hopefully over time you can develop a real connection with these 2 other people. When the timing is right, perhaps make a plan to hang with them outside of work.
Don't get me wrong. I have close male and female friends in my life but even though I have this quite uneasy feeling of loneliness and stagnation to move forward in life. But thanks for your advice I really appreciate it
@@Kenan2300 You're welcome. Just my two cents, if you're gut is telling you that this person doesn't really care about your friendship, usually your gut is right. Don't get stuck in one-sided "friendships" and let it wither away and they'll probably ghost you.
As a school psychologist and soon to be parent, I definitely spend a lot of time contemplating how loneliness is on the rise and how to combat it. I am glad to hear the conversation was around how social media exacerbates this. I do think social media gives the illusion of connection but doesn't register as connection to our brains that are still developed that face to face interactions are the best ways to fill our social bars. Second, in this Era of convenience, we are scrubbing all of the opportunities for minor social interactions which according to studies does decrease loneliness. Interacting with a cashier, store clerk, or waitress is slowly being eliminated. Thirdly, in an environment where socialization is difficult, people are more inclined to pathologize their awkwardness rather than recognize it is the difficultly in developing the skill. We are more likely to believe we have social anxiety rather than it is hard for so many to be good at socializing right now. Finally, this is why I know for my children I will need to instill the importance of talking to others in public spaces, face to face interaction being the most important, and that things being hard is part of learning the skill.
I think what resonated with me the most of what Connor said about how many distractions exist and its impact on our sense of loneliness. Like, I don't really feel lonely most of the time but I also have twitch open pretty much constantly. Then I take my headphones off and am like "goddamn, this apartment is quiet".
I'm so glad that Connor is in this podcast. He always acknowledges the potential flaws in their arguments where as Joey and Garnt just keeps everything going not stopping to see major flaws of what they say. I get so worried when Joey starts talking about loneliness and making friends and then there's Connor acknowledging how fortunate they are being in the position that they are
Like what I saw in another comment, Joey and Garnt just talk things casually, while Connor always on the content creating mindset and thinks about who would be listening/watching them, hence he ends up explaining more.
I think the difference between online friends and irl is that it is much more difficult to get truly close to people virtually (although not impossible) Of course I think most people also need some amount of in-person socializing, having only online friends will definitely have a bad effect on most people’s mental health
Yeah I agree. I can have the best of friends online, but in the back of my mind there'll always be the question of if this person is truly like this and there'll always be a desire to meet them some day in real life to reaffirm my friendship with them - its weird
one thing ive come across in my adult life is that alot of ppl seem to have this invisible friendship "quota". Like they'll have their friends from highschool/university, maybe a few others they grew up with but that's it and they don't really seem to have any desire to let new ppl into their circle. as someone who had a tough upbringing and didn't really start making a lot of close friends until college and beyond, it's been tough to deal with and made transitioning into a new city really hard.
I lost a lot of friends early on in high school and its been very lonely ever since because I've never felt close enough to many people I met or got to know afterwards. It was tough because I went from hanging out every week at school and every weekend outside of school with a group of friends to nothing at all, and its become worse as time has gone on because even with the few friends I still have, we're all older and busy with work or other commitments. Trying to organise get-togethers is already a nightmare before adding in the fact that I have know clue where I stand in the eyes of anyone.
Only 37 mins and you guys are talking about subjects that arent talked about enough in modern day society. Thank you for making so many of us feel less alone in similar feelings of loneliness and difficulty maintaining friendships etc. Y'all are the GOAT. 🔥💜
Connor is awesome. This episode has really shown just how interesting and thoughtful he is. He is articulate enough to put words on a experience that is universal and difficult to talk about and he does it with open mindedness and respect. He is such a sensitive and deep thinker and his intelligence really shines through when he covers these kinds of topics. I don't watch that much youtube generally but he strikes me as one of the few youtubers who is humble, wise and grounded. Joey and Garnt have been famous for a while whilst Connor's fame was quite sudden which could explain this attitude i guess? Joey and Garnt each have their own interesting perspectives; Joey's shared cultural background has given him a deep and complex understanding of culture, Garnt's emotion, passion and sensitivity adds necessary humanism, but when it comes to this kind of thing, Connor outshines them by miles. He has such a nuanced perspective that he communicates in such a sophisticated way. Honestly.
I disagree. I think both garnt and joey do feel the same way. The difference is they dont set a preface before speaking on a topic. They have talked about it before, all of them talk like they are in a pub and just chillin and when you are with your mates talking, there is no need to put any prefaces because you believe they know where you are coming from and understand your intentions. What connor excels at is understanding that even if this is him and the bois chatting shit, there are millions of people watching and some of them will not have that understanding he has of his friends. So he always has to set the prefaces. For example, at the beginning of the conversation he was pointing out how fortunate their situation is when talking about social interactions. I think(atleast for me) it is ovvious garnt and joey understand they are in a privileged postion when toaking about these subjects but they trust the viewers to understand where they are coming from. But connor understands some viewers simple wont.
I feel IRL or online friendship aside, it's whatever work you put into that relationship that determines close friendship. I've had work and school friends I met often that I thought were close until I left that environment and realized it was more about convenience. I had stronger friendships with a couple people online because we were honest, consistent, facetime'd, etc. I will say you pick up on socializing much quicker in person because my students struggled with that post-covid and there was an adjustment time.
I think Connor's relationship with Mouse is such an important perspective for this conversation. You can tell how much he was thinking about it during the episode which I appreciate.
Hearing this conversation feels weirdly comforting. I lost my staple friend group of almost 10 years at the beginning of this year because I was frustrated at someone else (who was very sheltered and protected in this group including by me). And we always laid a lot of importance of sharing our troubles with each other and to say when we're bothered or angry. So I vented my reasons why I was upset and after venting I always had this preconception of: "This is my problem. I just want to make you aware that I am having this problem and I would like to overcome it myself." Because I always thought that the issue lied within me. Until my closest friend in that group (who laid the most emphasis of sharing emotions and problems with each other) apparently got fed up and wanted to "fix" the problem. Which ended in a disaster. Since the last thing I wanted was to be pushed to "fix" everything, when I didn't feel ready. And when the sheltered friend came up to me to ask what was going on. I decided to share my problems with them (again might I add). And that was nothing but a catastrophe since we ended up screaming at each other. And since they were the sheltered protected one because of their diagnosed mental health issue, I was immediately villanized and shunned. Little did they know that prior to that I had diagnosed depression because of university and life in general. I just decided to not weigh them down with that because we were all mentally not the healthiest. For the entire time I was blaming myself for opening my stupid mouth. But after hearing their discussions regarding sharing information and venting and everything. It made me start to think about everytime me and my (now ex) friends shared our troubles and emotions. I was the group mom. I listened to their troubles everytime. Staying awake till 3 am in the morning to hear them out and comfort them. And I kept that up for almost 10 years. Especially the friend I was closest to. Including their troubles regarding an inconvenient crush they had for another friend in that group. And no matter how annoying it got. I just heard them out, occasionaly giving them suggestions but it was up to them to take. And now I was in a similar predicament (aside the crush stuff) and they couldn't hear me out for half so long. It finally made me realize how imbalanced our "friendship" was. And I am glad to be out of it. Lol i don't think anyone reads this whole shit but I guess what I wanna say is that the boys are right when it comes to sharing informations and emotional baggage. It's an exchange and sometimes someone just wants to vent without wanting a "fix".
I read it, (lol). Unfortunately friendships aren't fair. Something you and I have learnt the hard way. My advice if you would like it. Try not to give too much of yourself to others. When helping or listening to friends or just anyone in general, expect them to under appreciate what you are and have done for them. People like to take things for granted and when you reach out they tend to not be able or want to help. My advice, keep your expectations low but never change who you are. What you did for your friends was amazing, even if no one appreciates it, never stop being better. Selfless people are rare. Maybe one day, I hope you will find someone who matches your vibe and who you can lean on. Also Goodluck with your mental health.
Single handedly the best episode for people honestly. This, in my opinion, is the most healthy approach when it comes to friendships and relationships.
I’m a psychologist by trade. I don’t claim to have the secrets of making friends and I don’t consider myself as being great at meeting people and making new friends easily too. But one thing I’ve learned and what I teach my clients who are especially anxious about meeting new people is that their success is not about whether they’ve gone out and made a new friend but their success is in putting in the effort to try something even if it’s nerve-wracking or difficult. And if they’ve made a new friend in the process, then double credit to their success of trying.
As someone who has only really a few friends throughout their life, I have never been able to relate to any of them because most of them don’t have the same interests as me, and just realising now at the age of 20, none of my friends were really good friends to me, I really wanted to be in this talent show when I was 14 because I was pretty good at singing and I loved it and one of my friends said that I shouldn’t because she didn’t like the way I sung, and that put me off singing for years
17:00 I'd say money is also very influential on this. As a broke student abroad I can't even afford to go out for drinks once a week sometimes so I really have to think twice about going out with friends depending on how much I have on my bank account this month. When I was back in my country and had good money I was a lot more sociable because I could afford it.
I always appreciate these deep, therapy talk episodes with the boys. Not just about loneliness, but even stuff like their experience with romantic relationships, sex life, how they discovered JO. It makes for a funny story we can all laugh on. But being paired with loneliness and no close friends almost my entire child and adulthood, that meant that there were so many little things in my life that I never shared with anyone and I never hear anything about it from others. Listening through these episodes helps me revisit those little things in my past and tell myself that I'm not the only who's confused about so many things in life, discovering everything alone. It helps me feel less lonely :)
26:00 Not even just lack of eye contact!! being able to TALK OVER EACH OTHER!! IS SO IMPORTANT!! like the ability to have simultaneous conversations w/o having to be like "oh, sorry! you go first!" is SOOOOO underrated
I can relate to Garnt's highschool leading into college phase. I am the quiet kid who never really had real friends in highschool. My considered friends were actually from my old neighborhood which I had moved a county over from with my family in the middle of middle school. Just moving was a lot, but pair that with entering 2 new schools and covid where I lost 2 years of highschool and you basically got a recipe for a lonely crippling online goblin. As I went through highschool I managed to make aquaintances who I wanted dearly to be friends, but I found that I was only friends with them as a replacement for my old ones and I felt I couldn't be their friend truthfully. It sort of messed with my head of who was really a friend and who was just a replacement. It didn't help that my friends changed without me from my old neighborhood making them near unrecognizable to me getting into crowds I don't favor and growing distant. It really took a huge toll on me and is still present as I write this. Going into college this year I plan to throw myself at the wall and focus on being present at my college and hopefully make close friends. If you are anything like me just try to put yourself out there more and maybe we can all fill the void of loneliness.
I don't think I've ever been this called out before. I'm watching Trash Taste and playing a video game rn cause I don't have any friends to go out during the weekend.
I had tons of friends as a kid but I also had a big family that didn't encourage friendships. Family was everything and I was heavily sheltered. If it wasn't a cousin's birthday party my mom was not about to let me go to a friend's house. My family was wary of other people. But I also dealt with social anxiety and never felt a proper connection with anyone I met. Now I'm 30 and though I have my family, I still feel really lonely. I don't know what that means or how to fix it because I do want friends. It's tough trying to figure out how to make friends now that I'm no longer in school. I was also never an Internet kid. I played outside so making connections online is pretty hard too 😅
Big family is a blessing, try to nurture that. In my experience, you can be very sociable but you'll get little in return, so it's not you, it's modern culture.
@@kairos_fluent I totally get that perspective, I just want to have something outside of my family dynamic. I love my family but sometimes they can all have the same mindset when it comes to things, so it would be nice to have people who can help me broaden my thoughts and ideas, or even have similar hobbies and interests that I don't have with my family.
@@natwixterthan18 I see. The only real ways would be working full-time at some place for some time or a religious group. People suggest hobbies but hobbies are superficial by definition so the interactions will also mostly be as well. Just my two cents.
@@natwixterthan18 Ah, I can see how your options might be limited then. Maybe still consider them in the future. Another possible option would be to network with somebody in your big family to meet other people, I say this because again, I think it's unfair/unreasonable to expect a person nowadays to build a circle of friends from scratch (without the options of work or religion).
Gotta say, the more I hear Connor speak about these topics, the more I realize that he's actually the most intelligent man in the room. He has a very good understanding of serious topics and he has a very logical analysis of said topics. I remember when they were discussing AI and he did a fantastic job at explaining what the problem was and how the technology could be abused. He had a great understanding of the consequences some of these Gatcha apps have regarding gambling addiction too when both Joey & Garnt didn't really understand his point. He claims to be a monkey brain, but he's really Caesar from Planet of the Apes.
Adding onto the loneliness topic, I feel like a big part of the issue is the pressure of having to constantly be interesting to keep others' attention. In our day and age; having access to multiple text chats, social media, memes, games, anime, etc.; It's almost like we all have this unconscious motivation in our brains- "What is the most interesting thing I could be doing right now?" I think we all know the feeling of talking to a group of people, telling them a story or something, and slowly realizing everyone is on their phones. It is one of THE loneliest feelings because like... imagine someone would rather look at memes, texting people halfway across the world, than simply have a chat with you in person. Who wouldn't feel lonely?
Being that one friend that doesn't get to make it to a lot of stuff due to irl responsibilities, it really does mean a lot to still get invited to things. Knowing that I was thought of enough to get an invite like wow this person wants me to be there makes me feel genuine friendship and noticed. I wish I would invite others to things but I always have that fear of no one showing up and just being all alone
I'm 26, and literally all of my friends are 'online friends' most of whom i've known for 10 years and we're really close. I definitely agree though that having physical contact is really important, I'm fortunate that some of those friends live close by. I think though you can't just define friendship as whether or not you've seen them irl, weird stance to take- friendships are defined by the relationship itself regardless of whether you 'know' each other physically, it's not like seeing someone in front of you makes a difference in being able to talk, share, understand etc.
I think loneliness is kinda like falling for scams, a slight sense of shame if you tell someone else it happens to you resulting in less awareness of the topic
Yeah I feel like a lot of people who we view as not lonely are surrounded by people and friends and family but still feel just as alone as we do it’s just we aren’t allowed to show it or talk about it and we’re always on the pursuit to know more people make more connections gain more followers to fill the void instead of actually addressing what we’re feeling
This is now my personal favorite episode, especially because the topic hits a little too close to home to me and I think for a lot of people as well. Loneliness and lack of friends are things that I have been going through for quite some time now and listening to you guys talking about it and hearing my problems being verbalized made me feel weirdly validated. It took me longer than usual to finish this episode because I keep having to pause the video to sit with my own thoughts and contemplate. Really appreciate you guys for talking about this.
A year or so before covid, I deleted all my social media and cut my ties to most of my past friends to start "new". When COVID hit the regret set in, I had no online friends and few irl friends. From that tho, I've learned to grow and cherish the connections I make while filling that void with all the people I meet at conventions as I started to travel for cosplaying.
I've done the same, became close friends with some people I've worked with, and recently moved out of state to start fresh and so far, it's tough making friends even though I live with a close friend from high school
🤫He's probably thinking about the time i persuaded him to get me pregnant while he was in America. I was in one of his tours. I promised him to not ask him for child support though 🤰🏻🤱🏻
Just want to take a moment to acknowledge how awesome and important this episode probably is to so many people. Seeing the boys be so vulnerable with these kinds of topics, and divulging so much of their personal experiences too, it does so much to break the stigma associated with these conversations, and signals to the younger audiences of Trash Taste that it's necessary to reflect on these things. Great episode. All episodes are great, but probably my personal favorite in a long, long time.
yess!! so many male dominated podcasts are filled with toxic masculinity or they are more on the light hearted side ( which that is fine) but it’s hard to do both and this episode does this so well.
Man, Garnt's experience is so relatable. I also have social energy issues, and I also try to fix people's problem when they come to me. It has been immensely helpful listening to his experiences.
Gotta love how I attained one of my longest friendship's. Literally told him once he entered the classroom "YOU SIT HERE" Pointing beside me. That was the first impression he had from me. The football group kept taking the new kids to their side, so I made it my mission to make sure that the next new kid joined our group. Safe to say that it worked and we have been friends for 10+ years now :).
Yeah COVID definitely was make or break for a lot of friendships. Unfortunately after everything died down even there is a huge chunk of people who I thought were close friends that are more so acquaintances now and it does suck, but you have to be grateful for the ones who stuck by.
For some reason this episode in specific felt like an OG episode. Where the bois would just sit down and discuss about something relatable and have a simple talk.
DUDE YEAH. While I was watching I fr had the same thought. I literally just binged the whole video, and I haven’t done that for a trash taste episode in a while.
Finally not an episode about youtube and streaming
Yeah they still got that trash taste charm
this was exactly my thought, thank you.
this felt like how the dream episode felt to me, really liked listening to it and will definitely be a rewatcher at some point
Connor is so respectable and intelligent. When the bois talk about something a little more serious he always feels like the voice of reason.
That's because he is running damage control because he knows how twitter and reddit think. He's the most chronically online
he has the most PR mentality out of the 3 of them.. well that's cuz he's younger and more engaged online.. specially since he's doing a lot of streaming which requires a lot of ON the moment thinking.
@@KBWrecker that or he could just be a naturally considerate person who thinks of other prespectives.
@@bestfedoracontentonyoutube7485 I think its both.
@@tropik5724yea I definitely think he is both, not to overanalyze but if you pay attention, Connor is always to most who looks at the camera and when he is streaming he does a lot of camera tricks almost effortlessly, this tells me that Connor is the most aware about the camera as the audience and always thinks about he looks like in the perspective of the audience.
Connor is either the smartest guy in the room or monke and I'm here for it. Great chat guys
somtimes even both
Good social intelligence, usually the guy who act innocently stupid in a group has the highest social and emotional intelligence because acting like a monke lightens the atmosphere, its a way to keep the group going, I personally have a hard time even trying to lighten things up, jokes often backfires and sometimes I can't simply find a way to riggle it out, its not that easy to be a monke.
Connor is a monkey about anime takes but the rest of the stuff he talks about is mostly true, ge def watches high analitical videos on these topics
What do you mean or
And Joey is constant the holder of worst takes and dumb or stuck up shit
I like how connor was playing with the toy car during the whole ep until it fell at 1:29:03 and then joey started playing with it for the rest of the ep
Organic!
OMG I love this
didn't even notice lmao
Hilarious observation, I noticed Connor fucking with it the whole time but didn't notice when it switched to Joey lol
lmao nice catch
I really like how Connor maneuvered the loneliness topic, he brought up some great talking points and approached it from a very conscientious angle.
I don't know if it is just me but this feel like the best Trash Taste episode in a while. Hearing the bois talk about the difficulty of making friend and loneliness feel so relatable and hit me in so many levels
Big S1 vibes
I liked the second half the most
I just finished the episode and was thinking the exact same thing. Episode of the year for me so far, for sure. I love these serious, but still casual chats that are easy to engage with.
Love this episode but in a weird way because I feel so caled out by many things they talk about because I struggle with my loneliness since the pandamic.
Normal Chat, Just hits different
Hope this episode gets at least nominated for best episode of 2023 at the Trash Taste Awards, loved it.
This episode is like the second season of Vinland Saga
true
awardsw
Connor was absolute far from being a monkey brain in this episode. Good talk man.
except when he was just spinning a toy car in his hands for minutes
Trash Taste was not trashy this time.
Connor generally has the most sensible takes (minus a few things here and there), but especially when it comes to social topics he is EXTREMELY smart and empathetic.
@@KooriGraywolfRIGHT, I know people like to put people into boxes intentionally or not or even adopt and run jokes into the ground that started out as inside jokes between the boys but it does always leave me feeling conflicted over the monkey brain Connor thing.
Like obviously I’m sure it doesn’t it bother him, but from the way he talks sometimes with how he can say something profound and wellspoken and just end it with an apology screams a bit of insecurity in what he thinks he’s capable of.
It’s a mixture of downplaying himself while being humble and honest about the fact that he’s not an expert
Obviously when you have a platform as big as theirs, you gotta pick your words carefully on camera so you’re not selling snake oil accidentally, so I get it!
But connors generally categorized as the crazy one, but tbh he reads more as the sensible one, who’s weirdly often a mediator between extremes.
My mind always goes back to grant and Joey dunking on the 3 billion settings for games and controllers, only for Connor to chime in with the reason for that being for people with disabilities and how they’ve historically not really been accommodated for when it came to playing video games.
It’s not an uncommon or crazy thing to say, but the way he worded it was so earnest.
Anytime he says some dumb shit he genuinely doesn’t understand he still tacks it on with some “I’m sure there’s probably a greater history to it that I don’t know or understand that 20 people will tell me in the comments”
he even literally did it in about the first 10 mins in the history of fizz discussion
I hate to meatride but I just feel bad when someone who’s a multilayered person gets labeled the resident dumbass 💀
I just hope Connors ok and that fans appreciate these sides of him more openly sometimes.
@@KooriGraywolf I think he is trying too hard to be PC. I like Joey because he says what he thinks and in this witch hunting world, credit to him. Garnt has the perfect balance in these debates.
I wanna say I'm super impressed with just how nuanced and empathetic Connor was in this discussion. It might take longer and seem like a tangent when you speak in a way that's trying to consider all perspective but it's not a bad thing. Just showed how considerate he especially could be and the way Joey and Garnt were receptive to everything he said was also nice.
As an introvert in university with hobbies/interests that wildly differ from my peers, along with a healthy dose of social anxiety, I can say that it really does get to you sometimes. There's always this subtle yet ever present disconnect that makes it harder to click with others.
Agree
Yeah I'll be in my 5th semester soon and there is not a single person I can consider a friend in college..
Dang man I feel you
yeah and then after college where do you meet people ..
Is Trash Taste becoming a sit-com where they're all in their 30's and the only new people they meet are guest characters?
Seinfeld for weebs, but without the stand-up bits?
truman show
Speaking of guests, I do find it funny how after the LA arc, they wouldn't dare upload back to back guest episodes
@@chikasnotmadjustdisappoint6266good
Yes
it’s weird watching the boys talking about loneliness when you watch trash taste as substitute for lack of friendship😅
Same brother 😅
Same brother 😅
Big same here 🫂
@@leilahamaoui3564what is that emoji??
why do you need to call me out like that 😂😅
We all know Connor as a funny guy, and we've seen multiple times that he's a decent person, with his charity streams and the amount of support he shows to his friends. However, this episode serves as a reminder that he also has a much more mature side to him, providing some legitimately good insight into mental health and social life.
My streamer 😢
Meh
yep, Connor's great
It is okay as entertainment and being relatable to many people, but they are not exactly wisemen.
@@AhidoMikaro Didn't say they are, just that Connor is a more mature person than someone can guess just by taking one look at his content.
This was peak Trash Taste, genuinely interesting and insightful commentary on the topics.
Connor came out a very wise and considerate person in this episode until the jacking off part
Trash Taste at its best
The duality of man.
That's conner for ya
Right, I died at this part lol:
"do you remember the first time you jacked off? I do! I was playing Halo Reach..."
🤣😂🤣
(that is a not a verbatim quote)
He return to monke
We can all agree every member of Trash Taste has that dawg in them
66% are maidenful and 33% are maidenless, good ratio
@@lorcanzo2498 the cDAWG be rizzing up ironmouse tho. He is arguably the truest weeb of the three now
Homie got the dawg in him on that one
@@marlongomes262L take bro, L take
The dawg coming in me
Trash taste: Bocchi's social anxiety is unrealistic
Also Trash taste: We don't know how to make friends
To be fair, that was only Joey's dumb and privileged take.
Or that's just how I remember it
It's unrealistic because theirs is way worse
@@balabanasireti So, you're saying he has the privilege of being friendly?
@@balabanasireti Contrarian takes as usual.
It was mostly Joey, since Garnt will probably defend it more but I digress.
Glad Connor brought up Mouse is still a real friend despite not meeting IRL. Was thinking about her all the time that they talked about needing to meet friends IRL for it to be considered real.
And I can hear Mouse tear up miles away after she listening to this podcast
Iron Mom will get him into guest room quarantine sooner or later! She's been studying Fancy Boy and plotting.
which part was that again?
@@msakiblab 43:43
Listening to this episode actually made me messaged an old friend that I haven't talk with for a long time. The last time I talked to him he was in a really bad place, I try the best I could but he denied any help because he just want to help himself. Now, about 2 or 3 years after our last message, talking with him feel so nice, he is better now and despite having changed alot, we still talk like before as if nothing changed.
Man this is one of the episodes I kinda wanna watch again but can't bring myself to do it. This episode really made me feel bad, but not because the boys were wrong or anything or shouldn't have talked about something, but because everything was so real and relatable and I felt like I fucked up.
I feel you man. don't let it make you feel bad
I think it’s actually kinda good that you feel bad. By that I don’t mean that I’m happy you feel shitty cuz frankly I know feeling called out or facing your demons to any capacity is extremely uncomfortable and I don’t think anyone should ever criticize you for feeling a very human thing to feel. I just think that the fact that you’re able to admit that it made you feel bad means that you’re self-aware enough to confront it is admirable cuz not a lot of people can and although you can’t seem to bring yourself to do it I think that being able to identify that you feel bad and that some of the things may be reflective of how you might have behaved means that you have a lot of potential to grow and potentially improve on those things and that right now you’re at a good starting point. Definitely recommend watching stuff on “emotional intelligence” by like school of life or some psychology channel cuz that stuffs helped me personally with improving my life by being able to understand my emotions.
Anyways, just thought i’d share this I thought your comment felt very human, and honest, and from a more self-interest standpoint it makes me feel better knowing that I might’ve potentially helped someone out. Otherwise, I hope you feel a little better and good luck, when it comes to feeling the guilt of making morally questionable decisions you’re not alone cuz at the very least I’ve definitely done it, many people have, and I’m sure the bois have too.
@@joaquinmbgi recommend sisyphus55 for that kind of thing. He talks about lonelyness and the human need for connect rather frequently (often in the romantic context, but he does also talk about non-romantic)
I had to watch it over two weeks it was really hard to watch
It's never too late start big dog
I believe in you
You got this 💞
Regarding Connor's theory regarding games distracting people from lonlieness, that isn't exactly exclusive to games. As a slightly older person, I used books for that. It's so easy to lose yourself in a huge immersive world, even without a controller in your hand.
At least it's your interest. I know many people who use "work" as their distraction. Agree v much about how easy it is to lose yourself in some areas of life to ignore another...
You’re totally right, but games are WAY better at it
Unironically one of the best TT episodes to date
The main topic of this podcast is very nuanced, but I think it’s a very important conversation to have. Social media has formed false impressions of reality, where people show others what they want them to see and not what’s actually going on. It’s easy to get lonely when interactions aren’t physical, when peoples intentions can’t be fully read or understood, or when you don’t have a lot of social experience. But it’s also important to note that loneliness can also stem from discontent within oneself, and that’s the bigger issue. The happier you are with yourself, the less lonely you will feel, and the higher chance you’ll be able to form healthy and long lasting relationships with other people, so don’t neglect yourself :)
The loneliness is real and it's a social problem, not an individual one. The solution is therefore societal and not individual.
@@kairos_fluent loneliness is always an individual issue influenced by external factors. It’s both, hence why I mentioned both.
@@ComandanteYT Moreso a social issue because it's a long-term trend that's been getting worse over time.
@@kairos_fluent I don’t think you’re hearing me out. I’m not disagreeing, but all social change begins at an individual level
@@kairos_fluent Personal confidence and goals are definitely a big factor, and you're downplaying their influence, by putting the majority of the blame on society. Both are equally important, hence when people work on themselves and/or start therapy, they start to feel less lonely, sad, etc. Dogmatism and off-putting blame is not a good thing. Nuance is a very good thing.
Also, financial struggle is one of the primary sources of loneliness. A lot of people can't socialize outside from work, because they can't afford to pay for tickets, transportation, eating at a restaurant, etc. Or worse, they can't even socialize in work bc they are unemployed.
I remember when I was 10 and my best friend came to the UK on a 1 year visa and her family was rich and we would hang out in central and yeah I’d be there with a glass of water while they’re eating because I grew up with a single mum on benefits and I found trying to hang out with my middle class friends was really awkward and difficult compared to just chilling in the park with a 35p drink with my friends who were also poor ;;
This, and then I feel it links into the social media points mentioned during the ep: if people are showing off their highlights, and those highlights are holidays, cons, etc. (all things which take financial means), it perpetuates this isolation, because then it isn't just a struggle with finding and speaking to people, but like you say, being financially restricted, which then also is an empirical obstacle (i.e. you can observe someone going on fancy holidays you can't afford and then feel not good enough/bad about your own financial situation, and it can make it feel like having financial means is necessary to be friends with certain people, or worse yet, intimidate you to the point of not pursuing friendships with said people).
This can all also be applied to dating I feel, too: that cute girl on IG has travelled across Europe/South America/wherever, she must be rich (an assumption which may be right or could also be wrong - she could've saved for years for that trip!) and is thus out of my league because I wouldn't have the means to support [what I assume to be] her lifestyle.
Also a lot of places don't want you to socialize at work because it's not "productive"
1:30:24 Connor really hitting home here. As the "single friend", I often feel the pressure of a relationship being an end goal, even though it's something I don't necessarily seek right now with my career and hobbies to focus on (and of course, not finding someone I really connect with). I'm fine when I'm on my own, and then one "you'll find someone don't worry" just makes me feel heavily insecure. Maybe it's the feeling of being looked down upon or a feeling of being left out/missing something even if it isn't a priority right now. But great to hear this take from someone I really look up to!!
Same
Same. Trust me there’s many of us.
When you are in need of that connection, you will seek it out. Until then no need to force it imo.
Birthday trauma unlocked: Inviting the entire (about 30 kids) 4th grade class (turning 10yrs old) to a skating rink and no one showing up....and I still have Bocchi's levels of social anxiety at the age of 39 ...Garnt might be on to something lol
that sounds traumatic. Hope you're doing better now bro
@louislu2317 appreciate the thoughtful response. I do struggle with loneliness, but I'm also ok being alone, if that makes sense. (This episode really spoke to me, lol)
And some of that shit even makes the news
Dang that sounds really sad, totally their loss. Ice skating is awesome
@@stealthy25_ it’s a bit tough tho
Watching Connor playing with the little Toyota 86 was the exact equivalent to watching subway surfers while listening to a podcast
RIGHT I'm glad I'm not the only one 😂
I was merely listening to the podcast so I didn't notice that omg its a little 86
@@Gemcy Yeah they got it from their guest, Noriyaro.
@@tronoankirayoshikage7331 ohhh that's sick, I'd want to buy one
Don't blame him, it's a cool car.
I think Garnt would have an amazing conversation with the psychiatrist twitch streamer and youtuber Dr. K. Garnt's story of developing his sociability throughout his life, as well as being a Buddhist monk, would work so well for holding a conversation with Dr. K and I would love to learn more about this.
didn’t someone off-ed themselves after a public stream with this guy?
I'm glad he got his feelings out and said all this cause I've had similar experiences here and there and even though Ive had friends mostly everywhere I've always felt alone especially at night as a youngster thinking no one really understands me and at times I still think that but not as much now
@@vivvy_0Reckful was manic bipolar he dealt with extreme depression for years an years dr k was never his psychiatrist
Hell yeah, my thoughts exactly, Trash Taste X HealthyGamerGG would probably help so many of us struggling not only with the implications of the digital age, but also with deep rooted personal issues.
Garnt has commented on one of Dr.K’s RUclips post
I hope this episode is AT LEAST nominated for Episode of the Year
Connor's take on social media exploiting the mental health vulnerabilities of others was a really wise and well-informed take. You can tell that he's really thought about it and maybe has had conversations about it with others to develop his perspective more.
thats why there are so many trans and other fucked up people nowadays, because social media targets weak people in the first place
That's the most vanilla take you can have. It doesn't show competence in the subject that's like saying messaging someone and having a chat in IRL isn't the same and that someone claiming this is wise. It's the NPC answer.
@@icebox1954 do you have a more controversial take on the matter? (not even sure if that's the right word) I just wanna know your opinion on it, if you don't feel like you wanna spare the energy then that's fine as well.
@@sweetmeloday5935 The words you're looking for is "in depth" and although I could go into it the more informed version of what I would say is already freely available from HealthyGamerGG who is a psychiatrist and delves into a lot on the subject. If you're interested in learning about various topics (for example mental health and how social media has an effect on it) instead of the more surface level talks Trash Taste gets into then I'd definitely recommend HealthyGamerGG.
He didnt offer any solucions though, he was just complaining
This is going to be a fire episode, as it just started with joey exploring how to create fire with his genitals.😅
Talk about Cockburn
Joey Dickburns
Connor's right about the social media companies designing addiction into the system and Zuckerberg knew exactly what the platform was doing the entire time. That has lead to a lot of schisms in families and misinformation online and contributed to the pandemic of loneliness.
That's true, but unfortunately, negativity and outrage drives more engagement, and thus more business. I think every business who is trying to maximize their margins would gladly focus on positivity if that drove the most engagement. Of course, this isn't fully excusable for such business practices, but it's the sad reality. Just throwing some perspective on the thin line and nuance between profits, business, human psychology, and algorithm biases.
@@ZenTheMCThat take is so American. It's like the market is some force of god that can't be corrected.
While having government regulate social media is always a difficult surely there's another way than just accept that those companies are directly causing and profiting off major societal ills.
Your mentality is akin to saying you can't stop companies dumbing acid into the river because it's always gonna be the most cost effective way to dispose of it.
Connor was on fire on this one, great takes all around
Idk man, Joey knows how to make one
I absolutely love the way that this episode goes from serious thoughtfully discussion of modern loneliness to “I remember the exact halo reach map I was playing on before the first time I jacked off.”
It reminds of when the boys were talking about the importance of men’s mental health to Connor’s toilet experience.
Everyday I respect Connor a little more, he is such a good person.
I appreciate the guys just getting real for a bit. This is a solid ep.
7:26 Joey and Garnt having an in depth conversation, meanwhile... Connor spinning toy car.
it's called listening dude
Noriyarō episode throwback
I need a little Connor on my shoulder to pep talk the anxiety out of me before any social event😂
I remember seeing a clip where Nyan was praising him for doing just that for her at an event which helped her meet some new vtubers irl - seems a solid guy tbf ha
just pull the ultimate Cdawg move and scream into a mirror that you're ready and you got this before the event.
10% chance of chokedawgva
The conversation about adult friendships was something I needed right now. I’m currently very lost in my friendship groups because I stopped attending college after the pandemic. When they all went to the big cities, and I was left alone, I had very few people whom I could see. Recently when they came home for graduation, and we met up, I felt a gap there with the conversations we have. I’m still learning my way through these as a young adult, but I’m hopeful that I could still connect with my friends. Thank you for this episode. I felt very seen.
Everyone has already said something to the gist of it, but Connor being empathetic and conscious of people's different problems in approaching social situations and always being willing to give most people the benefit of the doubt made this podcast very comfortable. As someone who for the most part only has online friends it felt nice having Connor steer the conversation to recognize online friendship as legitimate.
To Garnt's point about trial by fire for social anxiety. I intentionally double majored in theater with my pre med program because I was like... how am I going to be able to help my future patients if I get anxious when talking to strangers? Acting classes honestly were a great tool, forced me to seek discomfort and channel it, and gave me a community of supportive people. Would highly recommend it.
making friends after high school is just impossible unless it’s by circumstance, like at work or something
As someone in and out of college
9/10 the only reason I talked to people at school was if someone needs a pencil or paper
And we were forced to work in a group
So seems accurate to me
Fr. After college all my new friends are failed talking stages
Im in college and I have managed to make friends, it’s definitely harder than in high school tho, everyone is it’s own world worrying about their stuff that there’s barely anytime to hang out.
saying that after the invention of the internet is kinda sad lil bro 💀
dead wrong
1:57:20 That guy put Garnt on the path toward marrying Sydney.
A true unseen hero
How did you watch that when it came out for an hour 💀
@@SavantGardeEXProbably watches at 2x speed
@@pentheclicketyblasphemy
@@SavantGardeEX2x speed
@@ChillyFries444 Garnt watches anime in 2x speed so it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch
I agree that this should be nominated for the next Trash Taste Awardsw. I live for these mature discussions about everyday things. And shoutout to Connor for respectfully talking about things from a different point of view from the other boys (counterpoint to "online friends aren't real friends" = Ironmouse, for example).
Also, I'm happy that the boys finally popped the cork on talking about sex. And they talked about it in a very non-alpha male way that I found fun and comfortable to listen to. The boys are being great role models on how to talk about these kinds of things with your mates, in my opinion.
tf is non-alpha male way 😂 😂 😂
I think he means like normal people with normal egos? Idk what non-alpha way is.
Haven’t even finished the episode yet and this is already in my top 3. I’m right at the cusp of leaving a friend group to more or less strike it out on my own and listening to how they’re explaining different things throughout the episode is giving me the assurance and confidence that most everything will be ok and I’ll find my path no matter where it goes. This is why I listen to trash taste
The difference between acquaintance and real friends to me is an equal and abundant exchange of vulnerability. Like garnt, it's the feeling of me not putting up a personality and having that everything be received and reciprocated
Must we be vulnerable in order for it to be real though?? Why is not putting up a personality considered "vulnerable" to you. Just curious, even though I agree about being received and reciprocated :)
I can carry on a fun, getting to know you convo just fine. But for me, It's been a long time since I've talked about my feelings or things that are important to me. It's just general anxiety tings but most of the time I feel pretty vapid in my convos, almost like an NPC lol. Whenever I can be serious and not hold back because I know that you just want to listen and not make me feel invalid, whenever I don't worry that my first instinct to talk is bothersome to you, and I do all the same for you, is when in my head, I register this as something more.
@@ezzatisaid I think it’s different for everyone the reason why people have started oversharing a lot more with strangers is because it’s kind of a speedrun to get closer to someone if someone shares something personal with you or is vulnerable with you it shows they trust you or care enough to tell you which makes you feel comfortable or flattered and in a normal friendship this slowly happens throughout the relationship as you trust each other more but I agree there are some relationships where that may not necessarily happen and that doesn’t mean you’re not close like you may just not have anything to share in those moments but you’re still comfortable with them so I guess it just depends on you and the person and your relationship
Philip Auslander wrote a book called "Liveness" a while back, exploring the idea that we didn't differentiate performances as "live" or not until the invention of recording devices. So, 44:38 Connor has a solid point about online friend vs. real life friend being an odd distinction. Even the idea of "Pen Pals" prior to internet times isn't the same, since we have audio / video capabilities and it's real time.
Thank you for the book recco!! Interesting~
7:19 I burst out laughing after noticing Connor spent TWO MINUTES spinning that fucking toy car and was not able to concentrate on the conversation after that
Holy shit Garnt was so relatable for me this episode, social media has convinced me we actually have no unique experiences lol
These topics come so handy because as a 22 year old introverted man who goes to university I thought often if I'm lonely and how to overcome these feelings which has led to sleepless nights. Even to have good friends and be happy these feelings exist.
Do you work casually ? Working is a whole other education, reading people and learning how to interact with others.
@@kairos_fluentI work in a part time job, but with 2 other colleagues who I know in private. Most of the customers are older (40+) and there is not that much communication between us and the customers
@@Kenan2300 I see. Well, hopefully over time you can develop a real connection with these 2 other people. When the timing is right, perhaps make a plan to hang with them outside of work.
Don't get me wrong. I have close male and female friends in my life but even though I have this quite uneasy feeling of loneliness and stagnation to move forward in life. But thanks for your advice I really appreciate it
@@Kenan2300 You're welcome. Just my two cents, if you're gut is telling you that this person doesn't really care about your friendship, usually your gut is right.
Don't get stuck in one-sided "friendships" and let it wither away and they'll probably ghost you.
As a school psychologist and soon to be parent, I definitely spend a lot of time contemplating how loneliness is on the rise and how to combat it. I am glad to hear the conversation was around how social media exacerbates this. I do think social media gives the illusion of connection but doesn't register as connection to our brains that are still developed that face to face interactions are the best ways to fill our social bars. Second, in this Era of convenience, we are scrubbing all of the opportunities for minor social interactions which according to studies does decrease loneliness. Interacting with a cashier, store clerk, or waitress is slowly being eliminated. Thirdly, in an environment where socialization is difficult, people are more inclined to pathologize their awkwardness rather than recognize it is the difficultly in developing the skill. We are more likely to believe we have social anxiety rather than it is hard for so many to be good at socializing right now. Finally, this is why I know for my children I will need to instill the importance of talking to others in public spaces, face to face interaction being the most important, and that things being hard is part of learning the skill.
I think what resonated with me the most of what Connor said about how many distractions exist and its impact on our sense of loneliness. Like, I don't really feel lonely most of the time but I also have twitch open pretty much constantly. Then I take my headphones off and am like "goddamn, this apartment is quiet".
This is honestly one of the best episodes of the year so far
I'm so glad that Connor is in this podcast. He always acknowledges the potential flaws in their arguments where as Joey and Garnt just keeps everything going not stopping to see major flaws of what they say. I get so worried when Joey starts talking about loneliness and making friends and then there's Connor acknowledging how fortunate they are being in the position that they are
Like what I saw in another comment, Joey and Garnt just talk things casually, while Connor always on the content creating mindset and thinks about who would be listening/watching them, hence he ends up explaining more.
This one hit different. Some very real self reflection and social perspectives. CDawg sounds like he reads a good amount mental health.
I think the difference between online friends and irl is that it is much more difficult to get truly close to people virtually (although not impossible)
Of course I think most people also need some amount of in-person socializing, having only online friends will definitely have a bad effect on most people’s mental health
Yeah I agree. I can have the best of friends online, but in the back of my mind there'll always be the question of if this person is truly like this and there'll always be a desire to meet them some day in real life to reaffirm my friendship with them - its weird
Listened to this while drunk & walking around a park at sunset. Definitely gave me some vibes.
one thing ive come across in my adult life is that alot of ppl seem to have this invisible friendship "quota". Like they'll have their friends from highschool/university, maybe a few others they grew up with but that's it and they don't really seem to have any desire to let new ppl into their circle. as someone who had a tough upbringing and didn't really start making a lot of close friends until college and beyond, it's been tough to deal with and made transitioning into a new city really hard.
I lost a lot of friends early on in high school and its been very lonely ever since because I've never felt close enough to many people I met or got to know afterwards. It was tough because I went from hanging out every week at school and every weekend outside of school with a group of friends to nothing at all, and its become worse as time has gone on because even with the few friends I still have, we're all older and busy with work or other commitments. Trying to organise get-togethers is already a nightmare before adding in the fact that I have know clue where I stand in the eyes of anyone.
It's not you, modern culture makes people isolated.
I feel you, I'm exactly in the same boat man
Only 37 mins and you guys are talking about subjects that arent talked about enough in modern day society. Thank you for making so many of us feel less alone in similar feelings of loneliness and difficulty maintaining friendships etc. Y'all are the GOAT. 🔥💜
Connor is awesome. This episode has really shown just how interesting and thoughtful he is. He is articulate enough to put words on a experience that is universal and difficult to talk about and he does it with open mindedness and respect.
He is such a sensitive and deep thinker and his intelligence really shines through when he covers these kinds of topics. I don't watch that much youtube generally but he strikes me as one of the few youtubers who is humble, wise and grounded. Joey and Garnt have been famous for a while whilst Connor's fame was quite sudden which could explain this attitude i guess? Joey and Garnt each have their own interesting perspectives; Joey's shared cultural background has given him a deep and complex understanding of culture, Garnt's emotion, passion and sensitivity adds necessary humanism, but when it comes to this kind of thing, Connor outshines them by miles. He has such a nuanced perspective that he communicates in such a sophisticated way. Honestly.
I disagree. I think both garnt and joey do feel the same way. The difference is they dont set a preface before speaking on a topic. They have talked about it before, all of them talk like they are in a pub and just chillin and when you are with your mates talking, there is no need to put any prefaces because you believe they know where you are coming from and understand your intentions. What connor excels at is understanding that even if this is him and the bois chatting shit, there are millions of people watching and some of them will not have that understanding he has of his friends. So he always has to set the prefaces. For example, at the beginning of the conversation he was pointing out how fortunate their situation is when talking about social interactions. I think(atleast for me) it is ovvious garnt and joey understand they are in a privileged postion when toaking about these subjects but they trust the viewers to understand where they are coming from. But connor understands some viewers simple wont.
This was a really great episode to listen to from talking friends, loneliness, porn, losing the v card, choking the chicken and to wrap it up lmao
I feel IRL or online friendship aside, it's whatever work you put into that relationship that determines close friendship. I've had work and school friends I met often that I thought were close until I left that environment and realized it was more about convenience. I had stronger friendships with a couple people online because we were honest, consistent, facetime'd, etc.
I will say you pick up on socializing much quicker in person because my students struggled with that post-covid and there was an adjustment time.
I think Connor's relationship with Mouse is such an important perspective for this conversation. You can tell how much he was thinking about it during the episode which I appreciate.
Hearing this conversation feels weirdly comforting. I lost my staple friend group of almost 10 years at the beginning of this year because I was frustrated at someone else (who was very sheltered and protected in this group including by me). And we always laid a lot of importance of sharing our troubles with each other and to say when we're bothered or angry. So I vented my reasons why I was upset and after venting I always had this preconception of: "This is my problem. I just want to make you aware that I am having this problem and I would like to overcome it myself." Because I always thought that the issue lied within me.
Until my closest friend in that group (who laid the most emphasis of sharing emotions and problems with each other) apparently got fed up and wanted to "fix" the problem. Which ended in a disaster. Since the last thing I wanted was to be pushed to "fix" everything, when I didn't feel ready.
And when the sheltered friend came up to me to ask what was going on. I decided to share my problems with them (again might I add). And that was nothing but a catastrophe since we ended up screaming at each other. And since they were the sheltered protected one because of their diagnosed mental health issue, I was immediately villanized and shunned. Little did they know that prior to that I had diagnosed depression because of university and life in general. I just decided to not weigh them down with that because we were all mentally not the healthiest.
For the entire time I was blaming myself for opening my stupid mouth.
But after hearing their discussions regarding sharing information and venting and everything. It made me start to think about everytime me and my (now ex) friends shared our troubles and emotions. I was the group mom. I listened to their troubles everytime. Staying awake till 3 am in the morning to hear them out and comfort them. And I kept that up for almost 10 years. Especially the friend I was closest to. Including their troubles regarding an inconvenient crush they had for another friend in that group. And no matter how annoying it got. I just heard them out, occasionaly giving them suggestions but it was up to them to take.
And now I was in a similar predicament (aside the crush stuff) and they couldn't hear me out for half so long.
It finally made me realize how imbalanced our "friendship" was. And I am glad to be out of it.
Lol i don't think anyone reads this whole shit but I guess what I wanna say is that the boys are right when it comes to sharing informations and emotional baggage. It's an exchange and sometimes someone just wants to vent without wanting a "fix".
I read it, (lol). Unfortunately friendships aren't fair. Something you and I have learnt the hard way. My advice if you would like it. Try not to give too much of yourself to others. When helping or listening to friends or just anyone in general, expect them to under appreciate what you are and have done for them. People like to take things for granted and when you reach out they tend to not be able or want to help. My advice, keep your expectations low but never change who you are. What you did for your friends was amazing, even if no one appreciates it, never stop being better. Selfless people are rare. Maybe one day, I hope you will find someone who matches your vibe and who you can lean on. Also Goodluck with your mental health.
Single handedly the best episode for people honestly. This, in my opinion, is the most healthy approach when it comes to friendships and relationships.
I’m a psychologist by trade. I don’t claim to have the secrets of making friends and I don’t consider myself as being great at meeting people and making new friends easily too. But one thing I’ve learned and what I teach my clients who are especially anxious about meeting new people is that their success is not about whether they’ve gone out and made a new friend but their success is in putting in the effort to try something even if it’s nerve-wracking or difficult. And if they’ve made a new friend in the process, then double credit to their success of trying.
As someone who has only really a few friends throughout their life, I have never been able to relate to any of them because most of them don’t have the same interests as me, and just realising now at the age of 20, none of my friends were really good friends to me, I really wanted to be in this talent show when I was 14 because I was pretty good at singing and I loved it and one of my friends said that I shouldn’t because she didn’t like the way I sung, and that put me off singing for years
I sung you a song for your birthday
17:00 I'd say money is also very influential on this. As a broke student abroad I can't even afford to go out for drinks once a week sometimes so I really have to think twice about going out with friends depending on how much I have on my bank account this month.
When I was back in my country and had good money I was a lot more sociable because I could afford it.
I always appreciate these deep, therapy talk episodes with the boys. Not just about loneliness, but even stuff like their experience with romantic relationships, sex life, how they discovered JO. It makes for a funny story we can all laugh on. But being paired with loneliness and no close friends almost my entire child and adulthood, that meant that there were so many little things in my life that I never shared with anyone and I never hear anything about it from others.
Listening through these episodes helps me revisit those little things in my past and tell myself that I'm not the only who's confused about so many things in life, discovering everything alone. It helps me feel less lonely :)
This was probably one of the deepest episodes in a while... and then they went deep into degeneracy 💀
The premiere Trash Taste experience right here
26:00 Not even just lack of eye contact!! being able to TALK OVER EACH OTHER!! IS SO IMPORTANT!! like the ability to have simultaneous conversations w/o having to be like "oh, sorry! you go first!" is SOOOOO underrated
I can relate to Garnt's highschool leading into college phase. I am the quiet kid who never really had real friends in highschool. My considered friends were actually from my old neighborhood which I had moved a county over from with my family in the middle of middle school. Just moving was a lot, but pair that with entering 2 new schools and covid where I lost 2 years of highschool and you basically got a recipe for a lonely crippling online goblin. As I went through highschool I managed to make aquaintances who I wanted dearly to be friends, but I found that I was only friends with them as a replacement for my old ones and I felt I couldn't be their friend truthfully. It sort of messed with my head of who was really a friend and who was just a replacement. It didn't help that my friends changed without me from my old neighborhood making them near unrecognizable to me getting into crowds I don't favor and growing distant. It really took a huge toll on me and is still present as I write this. Going into college this year I plan to throw myself at the wall and focus on being present at my college and hopefully make close friends. If you are anything like me just try to put yourself out there more and maybe we can all fill the void of loneliness.
I don't think I've ever been this called out before. I'm watching Trash Taste and playing a video game rn cause I don't have any friends to go out during the weekend.
Same, brother same
I had tons of friends as a kid but I also had a big family that didn't encourage friendships. Family was everything and I was heavily sheltered. If it wasn't a cousin's birthday party my mom was not about to let me go to a friend's house. My family was wary of other people. But I also dealt with social anxiety and never felt a proper connection with anyone I met. Now I'm 30 and though I have my family, I still feel really lonely. I don't know what that means or how to fix it because I do want friends. It's tough trying to figure out how to make friends now that I'm no longer in school. I was also never an Internet kid. I played outside so making connections online is pretty hard too 😅
Big family is a blessing, try to nurture that. In my experience, you can be very sociable but you'll get little in return, so it's not you, it's modern culture.
@@kairos_fluent I totally get that perspective, I just want to have something outside of my family dynamic. I love my family but sometimes they can all have the same mindset when it comes to things, so it would be nice to have people who can help me broaden my thoughts and ideas, or even have similar hobbies and interests that I don't have with my family.
@@natwixterthan18 I see. The only real ways would be working full-time at some place for some time or a religious group. People suggest hobbies but hobbies are superficial by definition so the interactions will also mostly be as well. Just my two cents.
@@kairos_fluentI work full time from home and I'm not religious 😅
@@natwixterthan18 Ah, I can see how your options might be limited then. Maybe still consider them in the future.
Another possible option would be to network with somebody in your big family to meet other people, I say this because again, I think it's unfair/unreasonable to expect a person nowadays to build a circle of friends from scratch (without the options of work or religion).
the thing about distracting yourself to feel less alone hit really close. this was a great ep i think
Gotta say, the more I hear Connor speak about these topics, the more I realize that he's actually the most intelligent man in the room. He has a very good understanding of serious topics and he has a very logical analysis of said topics. I remember when they were discussing AI and he did a fantastic job at explaining what the problem was and how the technology could be abused. He had a great understanding of the consequences some of these Gatcha apps have regarding gambling addiction too when both Joey & Garnt didn't really understand his point. He claims to be a monkey brain, but he's really Caesar from Planet of the Apes.
20 seconds in and i never thought i could relate with joey so hard.
Fr meme n slang change so fast o can’t even keep up
You talking about the fire starter technique?
@@toxickingchristian2645 yes
Adding onto the loneliness topic, I feel like a big part of the issue is the pressure of having to constantly be interesting to keep others' attention.
In our day and age; having access to multiple text chats, social media, memes, games, anime, etc.; It's almost like we all have this unconscious motivation in our brains- "What is the most interesting thing I could be doing right now?"
I think we all know the feeling of talking to a group of people, telling them a story or something, and slowly realizing everyone is on their phones. It is one of THE loneliest feelings because like... imagine someone would rather look at memes, texting people halfway across the world, than simply have a chat with you in person. Who wouldn't feel lonely?
This is 100% true and it sucks
That's why loneliness is not just an individual problem but a social problem, it's rooted in modernity.
The boys calling me out in the first 20 minutes. I’m one of the guys in those statistics watching Trash Taste to avoid the bad feelings
Being that one friend that doesn't get to make it to a lot of stuff due to irl responsibilities, it really does mean a lot to still get invited to things. Knowing that I was thought of enough to get an invite like wow this person wants me to be there makes me feel genuine friendship and noticed. I wish I would invite others to things but I always have that fear of no one showing up and just being all alone
I'm 26, and literally all of my friends are 'online friends' most of whom i've known for 10 years and we're really close. I definitely agree though that having physical contact is really important, I'm fortunate that some of those friends live close by. I think though you can't just define friendship as whether or not you've seen them irl, weird stance to take- friendships are defined by the relationship itself regardless of whether you 'know' each other physically, it's not like seeing someone in front of you makes a difference in being able to talk, share, understand etc.
43:48
I love how Connor acknowledged Mouse and their friendship.
I think loneliness is kinda like falling for scams, a slight sense of shame if you tell someone else it happens to you resulting in less awareness of the topic
Yeah I feel like a lot of people who we view as not lonely are surrounded by people and friends and family but still feel just as alone as we do it’s just we aren’t allowed to show it or talk about it and we’re always on the pursuit to know more people make more connections gain more followers to fill the void instead of actually addressing what we’re feeling
The empathy speech Connor went on about regarding how people can fall other people was really eye opening
One of my favourite episodes they've done, really insightful conversation and takes from the guys in this one.
This is now my personal favorite episode, especially because the topic hits a little too close to home to me and I think for a lot of people as well. Loneliness and lack of friends are things that I have been going through for quite some time now and listening to you guys talking about it and hearing my problems being verbalized made me feel weirdly validated. It took me longer than usual to finish this episode because I keep having to pause the video to sit with my own thoughts and contemplate. Really appreciate you guys for talking about this.
Hope y'all enjoyed AX this year, btw thanks for the doo rag Connor
I love that this podcast isn’t just fun and games. Great episode!
A year or so before covid, I deleted all my social media and cut my ties to most of my past friends to start "new". When COVID hit the regret set in, I had no online friends and few irl friends. From that tho, I've learned to grow and cherish the connections I make while filling that void with all the people I meet at conventions as I started to travel for cosplaying.
I did the same thing and half regret it now
I've done the same, became close friends with some people I've worked with, and recently moved out of state to start fresh and so far, it's tough making friends even though I live with a close friend from high school
These more serious topics in episodes always remind me how well articulated Connor is
Also the dichotomy in this episode is peak TT
This episode is single-handedly the most mature one yet! Great advice from the boyz❤
7:17 I love Connor just zoned out spinning the toy car.
🤫He's probably thinking about the time i persuaded him to get me pregnant while he was in America. I was in one of his tours.
I promised him to not ask him for child support though 🤰🏻🤱🏻
@@Angelite1209????
He just looked like he was listening intently tbh - it seemed like a topic he's thought about a lot judging by the rest of the conversation
@@ThatOneMalaysianGuy 😏
@@RubixKyuub
typical Connor fangirl schizo meltdown.
the 93% is strong with this one
Just want to take a moment to acknowledge how awesome and important this episode probably is to so many people. Seeing the boys be so vulnerable with these kinds of topics, and divulging so much of their personal experiences too, it does so much to break the stigma associated with these conversations, and signals to the younger audiences of Trash Taste that it's necessary to reflect on these things. Great episode. All episodes are great, but probably my personal favorite in a long, long time.
yess!! so many male dominated podcasts are filled with toxic masculinity or they are more on the light hearted side ( which that is fine) but it’s hard to do both and this episode does this so well.
Connor showing why he is the goat. Eloquent, intelligent, self-aware, and with a great deal of proper introspection.
Man, Garnt's experience is so relatable. I also have social energy issues, and I also try to fix people's problem when they come to me. It has been immensely helpful listening to his experiences.
Gotta love how I attained one of my longest friendship's. Literally told him once he entered the classroom "YOU SIT HERE" Pointing beside me. That was the first impression he had from me. The football group kept taking the new kids to their side, so I made it my mission to make sure that the next new kid joined our group. Safe to say that it worked and we have been friends for 10+ years now :).
Making friends outside of school is difficult
Yeah COVID definitely was make or break for a lot of friendships. Unfortunately after everything died down even there is a huge chunk of people who I thought were close friends that are more so acquaintances now and it does suck, but you have to be grateful for the ones who stuck by.
I view loneliness as feeling like you have no one in life to even talk to. And It's so wild to me that we even have to say "IRL" lol.