8 Life-Changing BPD Lessons

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  • Опубликовано: 17 дек 2024

Комментарии • 91

  • @mikehoncho35
    @mikehoncho35 Год назад +29

    I’ve learned that I became conditioned to accept being abused by my narcissist parents. I spent 18.5 years married to a overt narcissist. A few years after our divorce I met and spent 7.5 years with a covert narcissist. They both treated me like garbage but I had to accept there was something very wrong with me to stay with a abusive person.
    I’m 55 now and have zero interest in being in a relationship. I’m much more stable on my own. BPD is hard enough to handle without being in a toxic relationship.

    • @deothang
      @deothang Год назад

      Mike, I hear you!....28 years marriage plus 4 kids...not even joking but sent the divorce papers back today....I am 56 and was diagnosed 4 years now...all of Dr Fox's early stuff is the only thing I could proper understand but check ou a channel called Bprderline notes and watch Davids story.....all the best Dee, London

    • @kellimihalic116
      @kellimihalic116 Год назад +2

      Good for you, Mike!!

    • @WitchyWomanTarot
      @WitchyWomanTarot Год назад

      😢

    • @reneegardner2286
      @reneegardner2286 8 месяцев назад

      So true

  • @jeff_koli
    @jeff_koli Год назад +2

    I always feel @ home watching your videos

  • @Onlyskraps
    @Onlyskraps Год назад +17

    Hi Dr Fox. I have to admit...without finding your channel and the content on BPD, I'd be lost. There's no real therapy for BPD where I live and trying to find a therapist with knowledge is almost impossible. And hyper expensive once found.
    I really appreciate you.
    Your content has opened up and answered many questions I had...
    Cptsd and BPD combined , for me, has been a shit show most of my life.
    Finding your expertise has really identified for me key areas that I have dug deep to reveal and heal.
    Hard work.
    As a dude, it's been the death of my ego. Which is good. Great.
    Now it's the re education that I need to practice. It's something I don't think many people are prepared for. After BPD. Should be a book or something.
    I know I'm trailing off...
    Bod has taught me so much, not only of myself. But our relationship with the world around me.
    I used to take on peoples shit. Thinking it was me.
    My point is that It takes courage and bravery to destroy the foundation of core beliefs.
    Some have never learned to be such ways.
    That in it self is enense learning curve for many, and often is a reason they stop moving forward in the healing journey. Cause it's hard af.
    For me personally, I've decided enough is enough.
    Shit or get off the pot.
    😂
    I'm still learning and growing.
    And have a long way to go before I feel like I can contribute to being a valued member of society...
    But I know I'm on my way.
    The path of the wounded warrior.
    Also... I found that listening to certain frequencies has helped me in as of yet unexplainable ways.
    Realigning or harmonizing with healing vibrations has helped me a tone.
    Food for thought.
    Thanks for being you.
    Sparks

  • @CelesteSinger1
    @CelesteSinger1 Год назад +15

    Can you make a video on how hard keeping a job is when you have BPD?
    Love your videos ❤

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад +6

      Great suggestion!

    • @kris_ty685
      @kris_ty685 8 месяцев назад +1

      This is my problem! I've given up on relationships but keeping a job is really hard. I go through about 8 jobs a year. As I get older the harder it's becoming. I'm 42 and I need to be able to keep a job so I can save for my future....I cant keep quitting and getting fired...its bad for myself concept as well.

  • @kayleebradley4539
    @kayleebradley4539 Год назад +24

    I am very interested in finding out more about my BPD. I enjoy the videos because I feel like you explain BPD well and I have my husband view your videos when I cannot explain why my brain is lying to me. I want to be understood and excepted, but Changing my behaviors and thought process is quite difficult for me. Thank you though for your life decisions to help and educate people about mental illness... especially BPD. Only took me 35 mins to write this 😂

    • @corey2280
      @corey2280 Год назад +2

      Kaylee DBT tools might help

  • @oceanetrole5124
    @oceanetrole5124 Год назад +7

    Hi just to let you know you deserve so much more followers, you’re really intelligent and empathic, you’re definitely helping us 🥰

  • @jessicacranmer4436
    @jessicacranmer4436 Год назад +12

    I can't even begin to thank you for this Channel as well as Dr. Romani for her channel. My therapist actually follows both of you guys as well.. I believe educating yourself as much as you can about borderline helps

    • @joshuabradshaw5270
      @joshuabradshaw5270 Год назад

      Fuck Romani. She's quite the narcissist that is certain she has the answers. Dr Fox is genuine in his approach. Romani can't help but love the sound of her own voice and lend advice that makes her seem more expert. It's kind of disgusting to watch, honestly.

  • @aleksandra14a
    @aleksandra14a Год назад +2

    It really means a lot to me that my words and other people struggling with bpd are part of this video. It's a beautiful way to build us up, appreciate our efforts and reinforce community 😊 Thank you!

  • @sparklingloveandlight
    @sparklingloveandlight Год назад +1

    I've learned to turn the volume down on unwanted things. I've learned to focus on what I want and what feels better. I feel happiest when I stay true to myself and not spend time with those I don't feel comfortable around. I stay away from drugs and alcohol because I find I act out and give attention to negative others when I'm not sober. I stay true to myself and away from old patterns this way. Being content with myself and sticking to my goals as much as I can. To not judge myself or critize myself ever anymore. To high 5 myself in the mirror and know I'll keep trying and my best is always good enough. We are good enough as is.

  • @Jamiegrrl
    @Jamiegrrl Год назад +5

    Thank you to those who shared their experience. These are fantastic, and I can relate each to DBT skills I've learned. I've struggled with distinguishing who I am vs. how I react and separating my behavior from core values. The acceptance necessary to change. I believe that I'm capable because I made it this far. Adulting is hard.

  • @franceshall3364
    @franceshall3364 Год назад +1

    Love your kindness in reminding us not to be so hard on ourselves. When I hear this i can open up more to myself. I also love that I'm not alone on this journey of self discovery and send love to all who are also awakening to the discovery of themselves.💚

  • @majajankovic1393
    @majajankovic1393 Год назад +2

    Thank you Dr. Fox for your support. I have my first therapy session soon and I watched a lot of your videos and people who successfully treated bpd really inspire myself to do so. Also the realisation that adequate sleep, diet, exercise and meditation are important made me a lot better. I started working, studying and maintaining hobbies.

    • @majajankovic1393
      @majajankovic1393 Год назад

      Also I am not diagnosing myself but I suspect I might have bpd. But it came to the moments that it ruined my relationships with others and myself so I had to manage as much as possible. I do have 9 out of 9 bpd traits. Anyways I truly know that I am not my bpd and that I will manage my bpd by the time.

  • @dawngartner1185
    @dawngartner1185 Год назад +2

    This is a great video of other people's stories of living with having BPD.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад

      I’m glad you found it helpful.

  • @anna-rosephipps3132
    @anna-rosephipps3132 Год назад +4

    This video has addressed stuff like shame, loneliness, issues with identity, moods in a way that i desperately needed today. Feeling down with flu bug, it has made all bad feelings return. The family is 'in my head' as you put it. Thank you! And to the fellow BPD contributors, I feel you! ❤

  • @LuckyL0ki
    @LuckyL0ki Год назад +2

    i finished this video with the biggest smile. i never knew i could feel this empowered when it came to my BPD. thank you so much for your help in making the world a better place! 😄 added: i dream of being an art therapist someday, and your videos really inspire me!

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад +1

      You're so welcome! Thank you for your comment and I am so glad that you found the video helpful.

  • @Tarotwitchshally111
    @Tarotwitchshally111 Год назад +2

    It took me 7 years to build insight..! I still find it difficult to really understand my BPD... I believe, it's when we build insight, we can better deal with the symptoms!!

  • @AmadeusAndres
    @AmadeusAndres Год назад

    You’re The Best Dr. Fox! Thank you ! Harvey Keitel and Tarantino would be Proud. 😊

  • @heatherjohnson333
    @heatherjohnson333 8 месяцев назад

    My BPD diagnosis at age 50 was the best thing that has ever happened to me. Until then, I had no hope, no roadmap, I had the wrong instruction manual. No matter how hard it is today, nothing is as hard as it was before I knew what was going on with my mental health. Thank you for this video! I love positive videos about BPD.

  • @sarahs413
    @sarahs413 Год назад

    "I'm tired of all these emotions -- I have "EMOTION SICKNESS." -- Got from a movie ad but don't know which one. They were talking about something else but it VERY MUCH relates to BPD. I had to hit the Pause button to write that down because it relates to BPD so perfectly!

  • @heatherpratt1551
    @heatherpratt1551 4 месяца назад

    I had a “episode” a couple of days ago brought on by work stress and this time, I made it through without self harming and without “cancelling life”. It was still extremely painful but I made it through using my supports and trusting that the feelings will eventually pass and taking steps to move that along. Thank you for your work and sharing your wisdom!

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  4 месяца назад +1

      I'm so glad to hear that you made it through! It's really inspiring to see how you're leaning on your support system and trusting the process. Remember, every step forward is a victory!

    • @garritts
      @garritts 2 месяца назад +1

      Hi. I just recently have been diagnosed with bpd, I’m 45 and now I understand the why. Reading you say “I made it through without self harming and canceling life” hits home.
      I wish one day to have that strength.

  • @alphadog3384
    @alphadog3384 Год назад +3

    Question what was the treatment for BPD during the 1980s & 1990s, had DBT skills come on the scene with the therapeutic community?

  • @thelittleetherealghost
    @thelittleetherealghost Год назад +1

    I feel heard 💙 Thank you for this Dr Fox. I always feel better watching your videos and learning from them, and this was such a nice addition to get to hear from others with BPD who have such great stories of progress and who have learned so much. It’s very encouraging as I go through my own journey. Thank you sincerely so much for all you do.

  • @fionaedwards561
    @fionaedwards561 Год назад +2

    Can’t wait for this one. I seem to remember you talking about maybe doing a video on this and asking people for input

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад

      Thank you and I hope you enjoy the video.

  • @smashbrandiscootch719
    @smashbrandiscootch719 Год назад +1

    As always, Thank you Dr. Fox. Also a huge thank you to everyone who shared. Hearing the words of others who are struggling with similar things and OVERCOMING them is always so encouraging.
    It's so, so, so easy to feel like nobody understands, to feel completely alone and like you're abnormal, flawed or broken. But Hearing that other people feel the same way and have worked to manage that is always amazing.
    Hearing people proclaim for all to see that they are not monsters is particularly encouraging. I still struggle with that more often than I should. One day at a time. :)

  • @levitatestudent
    @levitatestudent Год назад +1

    Amazing people with amazing insight.
    Thanks for sharing

  • @SquirrellyMom
    @SquirrellyMom Год назад

    I was diagnosed last year it was a game changer! Was doing much better! ...this week though after 6 months of doing really well, it's like the dam shadow has fallen over me again and I'm loosing myself to the darkness again. My whole life the dang thing seems to come in waves

  • @Sonny0276
    @Sonny0276 Год назад +2

    Great Video. Thank you for posting.

  • @VintageSoul
    @VintageSoul Год назад +2

    Thank you Dr. Fox! I have been watching your videos. So that I can try and help my partner and myself.

  • @veronicarhinehart9431
    @veronicarhinehart9431 Год назад +1

    Love this!! All these people just made me feel even more hopeful and less alone ♥️

  • @brybaby89
    @brybaby89 Год назад +1

    Yeah... There are tons of groups for stuff that is seemingly trivial when compared to BPD! There really needs to be real-life groups for connecting, comforting, and supporting one another. I've recently found a group, that I belong to and I've felt the most at peace in it than I have anywhere else. I hope the same for anyone else wishing for something like that! 🤗

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад +1

      I agree. Thanks

    • @citoldyou
      @citoldyou Год назад

      A couple of good bpd groups on Facebook

  • @BlueCope-du8xv
    @BlueCope-du8xv Год назад

    The last 2 really hit for me. These videos actually allowed me to accept my diagnoses that was almost 10 year ago now. My husband is my hero really when it comes to taking accountability and thee have been many times when i wanted and did skip through one of your video because in the moment it hit to much on the spot. Now 3 years of watching your videos and i have grown and changed so much. A lot of fear due to mutiple diagnosis before finally on the 4th one this was what the newest at the time councelors opinion was. I was very angry but i accept it now and it is a struggle but i thank you dr fox,from the depts of my soul your a great psychiatrist an i hope to one day be able to have a ew sessions with you and maybe we can both learn some new things.

  • @sarahheld3761
    @sarahheld3761 Год назад

    Thank you sooooooooo much Dr Fox, your videos have helped me a lot. It taught me that most of my negative thoughts are caused by BPD. Now that I regularly go to church and found God. I know that I'm never alone anymore. The big problem I have now is that I've been 'medically' diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS). So I had to deal with that disability as well as BPD. Dr Fox you have helped me understand how to deal with my mind. I love you 😽❤️🤗

  • @gengarrules777
    @gengarrules777 Год назад

    this video is so helpful. it's refreshing to hear the statements from someone else with BPD delivered by a doctor. another video would be incredible ❤❤♥️

  • @edytasakai1547
    @edytasakai1547 Год назад

    Thank You for sharing it with us !!!!! It helps a lot ❤

  • @meganjohnson9540
    @meganjohnson9540 Год назад +1

    Thank you so much, Dr. Fox! I wish I had known that I’m not just irrationally angry and difficult…sometimes, I’m irrationally kind and agreeable (abandoning myself!). No one ever complains to me about that, though.
    Great video! Thank you so much for your work!! Love and light. 💕

  • @wiblet
    @wiblet Год назад +1

    It seems the more BPD has broken me down over the years, the more it has cast who I want to be into stark contrast with my actions. I still struggle a lot, mostly with self sabotage and acting out in relationships, but the self loathing that follows an episode has awakened my knack for problem solving - this sucks, and I know what I wish I was like, so... so I guess I'm well on my way to pursuing a PhD and a (healthier!) romantic relationship now lol! I have the right meds and an innate sense of spitefulness to thank for that. Took about 10 years to get here though. However, I think the same mental pathways that primed me for BPD, have also set me up for this profound self discovery and capacity for resilience. Recovery feels like putting a harness on a deadly beast. It can still shred you like a wet paper tissue, except now you can point that intensity with productive intent, for example at academic writing.

  • @Lex-je1jd
    @Lex-je1jd Год назад

    You have helped me out so much. Thank you Dr. Fox.

  • @danielhernandez-fo3mj
    @danielhernandez-fo3mj Год назад

    some of these were truly on point lol i think it was the sec or 3 one (memory bad) that made huge mention to identy as i to just made an even more connection to this as i sometimes don't know myself and have been known to go along with something (expecully if I'm idolizing the people or person involved) not truly knowing if its what i want till its too late ... or i end up in shady situations lol i had done this so much that now that I'm trying hard to put my boundaries down accept what i like as ok and not shameful i have moved out of aggressive acts by no longer over idolizing (still have fp issues just not with everyone i meet who i made a big conetions with ) as I'm no longer using social connections as a way to find what i want in life or out of life ..... been quite scary even making the chnages to my romantic relationship and older close friend ships as a result of finding a more clear image of what i belif and not bending them to prevent rejection and abandonment well not all or nothing right but i am working very hard at staying true to my values and stuff ..... deff been amazing for stopping self destructive behavior working on the identity part of BPD

  • @corey2280
    @corey2280 Год назад

    Dr. Fox you mention at the beginning of the video that " BPD is the most successfully treated personality disorder." I was Dx about one year ago after struggling with my mental health for years. It took forever to get the Dx. I'd never heard of BPD until then and still don't hear much unless I seek it out.
    Hailey says she feels alone I do at times too or at first, I did, I didn't want people to know because I didn't want a label over my head or it to define me or give an excuse. I tell my friends what's going on and ask them to help me if they since Im "getting "that scratchy feeling" it helps to keep me in control. I still split and sometimes it's a huge one other times I use the tools and reel it back in this has been the longest journey I've been on, and knowing it can get better keeps me moving in times of bad.

  • @greenaware8580
    @greenaware8580 Год назад +3

    As a bpd, I was in relationship with a an NPD and was always splitting on them. I was always apologizing after I split and then do it again.until one day I burnt all bridges

  • @r.arodriquez4392
    @r.arodriquez4392 5 месяцев назад

    Thanks for your video

  • @ShellRussell-gq4vg
    @ShellRussell-gq4vg 8 месяцев назад

    I watch your videos and i didn't know i had BPD till a couple months or so ago nd i did research on it and bout it

  • @ShellRussell-gq4vg
    @ShellRussell-gq4vg 8 месяцев назад

    I really like your videos

  • @Nicefoolkilla
    @Nicefoolkilla Год назад

    Can i come down to Texas and see you, dr. Fox!?

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад

      Sorry, I’m not taking new clients at this time

  • @TinaMarie-dn5ws
    @TinaMarie-dn5ws Год назад +1

    Do you believe that pd and being an empath are related?

  • @andrecolombia09
    @andrecolombia09 7 месяцев назад

    How do I build or strengthen my sense of self? How can I focus on what I want if I want is just to be happy?

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Месяц назад

      Start with identifying your core content.

  • @brunamarr
    @brunamarr Год назад +1

    Please, explain like I'm 5, I understand the concept of not "being" the disease to help people recover, but here's the thing and correct me if I'm wrong. If people have autism, they are autistic, if others have narcissism, they are narcissist. So, I have BPD, how come I'm not borderline??? It's personality, right!!? This might be a stupid question, but I really don't get this difference

  • @codiyeager8531
    @codiyeager8531 9 месяцев назад

    BPD
    Crazy, Scared, Abandoned
    True or Percieved
    Black and White
    Extreme emotions
    Who am I?
    Angry, Abusive, Destructive
    Should I live it should I die?
    BPD
    50X the emotions of a “normal” brain
    Loving. Committed, Empath
    Caring for, Holding together.
    Desiring Connection and Healing.
    BPD
    It’s not all bad to feel this much
    I am here for a reason
    Healing so I can love you and you and
    ME
    50x as much through all life’s seasons
    - Codi

  • @Hamed-s5g
    @Hamed-s5g Год назад

    Every day morning BPD reset your mind and need to reject but is not easy. focus on something around you like book ,relaxing music,.... can change your mind and neural pattern for all day. BUT remember that tomorrow bpd coming again this is your personality pattern.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад +2

      You can change that pattern. You’re not stuck.

  • @pastelpink1234
    @pastelpink1234 Год назад

  • @songsforsale427
    @songsforsale427 Год назад

    It taught me that therapists overcharge so much you literally can't get care

  • @nikolaisandbeck6951
    @nikolaisandbeck6951 Год назад +1

    I must say I am not happy to see that Daniel S. has paid for 25 years of therapy, and then found that stuff on the internet has been more helpfull.

  • @JagoShogun
    @JagoShogun Год назад +1

    Nothing. And people who claim to also have bpd, or want to help my bpd, just hurt me more and make it worse.

    • @DrDanielFox
      @DrDanielFox  Год назад +1

      I'm sorry you had that experience. I wish you well.

  • @sanamoyeshnazarova4527
    @sanamoyeshnazarova4527 Год назад +1

    My husband had BPD and NPD but I still praying for my marriage restoration it's any hope?BPD has treatment ? What Kind treatment?

    • @brybaby89
      @brybaby89 Год назад

      To be direct: Praying will only get you so far without action on both you, and your husband's part. Wishes without action, in the real world, are just like pennies in a fountain. Well-intended, immobile sentiments.
      He has to do the work, and you have to be supportive and patient. But it has to be on his terms, he has to want to make positive revisions, first and foremost.
      Best of luck, I hope you find what you need.

    • @brunamarr
      @brunamarr Год назад

      There is treatment, two types of therapy that work best, dialectical behaviour therapy (this is the best one) and the other is schema therapy. I really hope he can get the treatment. I have BPD and I understand the pain of losing people and relationships. Try not to put pressure on yourself, if he denies help, there's nothing anyone can do

  • @bigcheese2128
    @bigcheese2128 Год назад +1

    First

  • @louisrehojr.312
    @louisrehojr.312 Год назад +1

    My ex has Borderline Personality Disorder , but is in total denial about her behavior, and characteristics.

    • @louisrehojr.312
      @louisrehojr.312 Год назад

      @x 🖤 x you can't help those who don't want to help themselves unfortunately 😕

  • @PhoenixtheII
    @PhoenixtheII Год назад +3

    Can't trust humans
    Cats are so much better.