I'm bisexual. I share that early on in a relationship. Like you, I'd feel betrayed if a partner told me they weren't attracted to my gender. I don't think I could date someone knowing that they're not sexually attracted to me/my gender because even if they could "satisfy my needs", it'd feel hollow knowing it's an obligation for them.
But you're forgetting that they didn't leave you, so they do have a form of bond and feelings. They are attracted to you so they are not practicing homosexuality
@@sameerhafeez7029 sorry, for me I need that "attraction" in a romantic relationship, so I can't date/marry someone who isn't attracted to my sex, or that I'm not attracted to...I think it's different for everyone
@@potatohead785 Completely unrelated but it's important I'm guessing ur a muslim so u shouldn't be subscribed to someone who is against Islam so unsubscribe Talibland as she is ignorant about Islam fails to even define a hadith correctly and thinks Quran tells to kill all non believers
What if your spouse didn't realize they were gay (or a sexuality other than straight) until after you were married though? Like, they discovered they had those feelings and told you about it because they didn't want to keep it secret? Would you feel betrayed if that were the case? Personally, I would want my spouse to be open and honest about those things even if it might strain the relationship.
@@volimneretvu8923 I'm not sure exactly since I have never experienced a situation like that, but I know that sexuality can be fluid and can change over time. I was just imagining what might happen if a person thought they were straight, got married, and then came to the conclusion later on that they were not straight. I'd like to think if/when that happens to people that they would still love the person they are married to even if their sexual attraction may be different than they previously thought. (I know of couples - celebrities, even - who have been in heterosexual marriages where one of them realized they were gay and subsequently got divorced. It does seem odd 'cause like, yeah, why would you marry someone if you're not attracted to their gender? But it has happened.)
@@volimneretvu8923 as the other person mentioned sexuality can change over time. And also, due to social expectations, it is perfectly possible for someone to trick themselves into believing they are attracted to the opposite gender, and will only realize that they in fact aren’t when they learn that being gay is a thing. Another thing is that there is also a difference between romantic and sexual attraction, so a person could be attracted to 2 genders romantically and one gender sexually. And often it’s really hard to distinguish between both types of attraction so it’s possible that someone could mistake romantic attraction for sexual attraction or the other way around. This is hard to explain so sorry if it oesn’t make sense
@@volimneretvu8923 Compulsory heterosexuality is a big deal. I’m gay, but I genuinely thought I was straight until I was 18. A lot of things led me to that conclusion. I was raised in a very conservative Catholic environment. Family and friends would talk about “when you get a boyfriend” or “your future husband” which just reinforced that I would eventually marry a man. I was taught that men are very sexual and women aren’t nearly as sexual, so to me, I wasn’t sexually attracted to men but I figured that was normal since I’m a girl, and I also could tell stereotypically attractive male features apart from stereotypically “ugly” ones, so I knew which boys to call “cute.” I knew what traits I wanted out of a husband, so I used that as my meter for attraction, not any physical feelings. Because I genuinely wasn’t taught that people COULD like someone of the same gender, I constantly mistook any of my crushes on girls as “just really wanting to be her best friend.” I was also never given an accurate, unbiased example of gay people to reference; I was raised to believe gay people are sinful, selfish, overly-sexual, loud, rude, satanic, etc. and I was none of that, so I concluded that I must not be gay. It was also highly stigmatized and a “horrible thing to be,” so I actively did NOT want to be gay, anyway. Dating boys was my way of trying to prove to myself and my bullies that I wasn’t gay. I dated a guy for 2 years in high school and had convinced myself I was going to marry him. I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but as far as I could tell, he was more bearable than any other man I knew, our families got along, and he checked off most of the boxes I was looking for: smart, skilled, educated, semi-attractive, male, not physically abusive, good job prospects, respected my physical boundaries, didn’t cheat on me. Those seem like low standards now, but in the environment I was in, that was exactly what we were encouraged to look for. I never had any adult figure telling me it’s important that I am sexually attracted to my husband, in fact, I was told sex would probably be painful and annoying but it would be my wifely duty, and it was the only way to make babies, which was supposed to be my life’s purpose. I would also talk about my lack of attraction to my boyfriend with my friends and family, and they told me it was NORMAL and the attraction would come later. When it never did, I was mocked for being naiive, and told that I shouldn’t expect it to feel like movies or books or tv or songs, because that’s all made-up fantasy. So, I mistook the care I had for him as love for him. I believed what everyone was telling me, and that everyone was exaggerating when they described love. And since the people I was confiding in also didn’t want me to be gay, since they believed it was so bad, they had every motive to try their best to convince me I was straight, too. I was very lucky that after starting college at 18 and getting out of my Catholic bubble, I was able to start de-constructing a lot of the misinformation, and finally able to see different gay representation and that being gay wasn’t evil & can look a lot of different ways. That’s when I was able to realize I *was* gay, and I was able to realize that my feelings for my best friend weren’t platonic, and maybe that’s why I had always been so jealous when my friends growing up had boyfriends. Unfortunately I know girls who got married at 18, and that could have easily been me. I also know girls who were coerced or pressured into having sex by their boyfriends, got pregnant, and got married immediately as a result. That could have been me, too. I know many women who went to Catholic colleges after graduation and have NEVER left the Catholic/Christian bubble, and STILL believe the lies we were told about gay people, and if that had been me, I know I would be 24 and still not realize I was gay. And maybe as a result, I would’ve gotten married, because I was always told that was what I was “supposed to do” as soon as possible. In an ideal world, sure, everyone could figure out their sexuality as they grow up. But some of us were actively prevented from accessing those resources that could help us make that decision, and others of us have seen our faith stigmatize being LGBT+ so we are traumatized and completely unwilling to consider it. I have friends who were taught it is worse to be gay than it is to be a serial killer, and as you can imagine, that’s not damage you can undo quickly. Coupled with the pressure to get married young (which many faiths do), a lot of people don’t know much about themselves before they get married.
@@BeautifulDollsaster - it's great that you've found a path that resonates with you. The fact you feel comfortable sharing your experience could well help others who are in that situation
Would you feel the same way about if they didn’t necessarily know until after? Say if they had been struggling with their sexuality later and didn’t realize they were gay until after marriage, would it change anything? I love you guys so much!
I absolutely LOVE Mubinas hat! It’s very fashionable and Harry Potter. It’s also really nice to know all the stuff you said. I had to watch it twice beacuse the first time I was distracted by the hat
I was watching your video and my nephew came up, (he loves ninjas lol) and said auntie she looks like a ninja! How come?! I explained to him and he looked confused, thought for a second and said well I think it’s very pretty and than walked away lol.
Thats really cute!! Children always think im a ninja and sometimes i just play along if I can't talk to them. It helps them think of it as a more fun and positive thing :)
I wouldn’t stay married to that person anymore and I know often when someone comes out in a marriage the outcome is divorce. It’s the same for those who come out as trans in a marriage.
@@laibazahid373 1. Ask them, that's the most reliable 2. If they tell you or you witness that they are in a romantic relationship with someone of the same gender You can't see it in the way someone acts, dresses or speaks, because gay people aren't all the same. Those are just stereotypes.
@@laibazahid373 Its just a feeling! Like I realized that I had crushes towards girls and never towards guys. It's the same way people know they're straight, except with some extra steps of internalized homophobia and sometimes not even knowing that being gay is an option
So I'm in a long-term relationship and we have been together for 4 years now, I didn't realize I was bisexual until a few months ago due to oppression by my family. He was completely understanding and I really appreciate that.
The way Ross reacted after he found out Carol was a lesbian.. I'd have to seperate from her and then hope to be an happy relationship again.. But no way am I walking my ex-wife down the aisle.. 🙈
I wasn’t married to this guy but I. High school he was interested in me and all my friends said he’s a good guy so we hung out a few times and finally went on a date and at the end he kissed me. When I got home he text me and said we’ll I just want to let you know I’m gay. I didn’t care because he was a cool person to just hang out with. What bothered me was I never heard from him again. Just recently I reached out to him to see how he was doing and I was left on read. I don’t know if he felt bad or what but I want him to know he didn’t have to hide it’s better for him to have a life that will make him happy. I just hate I lost a friend
Honestly, if my spouse(s) didn’t feel comfortable/safe coming out to me, I wouldn’t assume it was because of me. (Though, yes, I admit it would suck that they couldn’t see something different in me.) I know from experience that being traumatized by people’s reactions to you coming out is a very common and very difficult to overcome once it’s happened. There’s also the fact that some people do get violent in these cases, so sometimes you’re really not sure who you can trust with this very personal and vulnerable aspect of your identity.
It is just my opinion that in marriage attraction if that is physically mentally both are so important and if you came out about your sexuality before marriage you should not marry some one out of your line because that would not be justice for your as well as other person's feeling so marriying some one you are not attrated to would se so wrong according to me and if you are coming out to even to yourself after marriage that would be a total different thing. P.S this is just my opinion if you believe something else i totally respect it and you may even share that to me as well by replying to this comment.
I'm sure I'd be sad and mourn the loss of what I thought we had, but loving someone unconditionally means that I'd support him in doing whatever he needed to do to be truly happy. I'd hope that we could still be close friends and that I wouldn't lose him entirely.
I know a gay man who has 8 kids. He was married to a woman, but probably because society's pressure. It was very common for gay men to enter a hetero relationship just to keep up a facade and avoid punishment. The man I knew of is a kind hearted one, he had a fast food restaurant and he kept feeding the homeless, but soon his business was vandalized. He wanted to help the town he lived in, but soon he was blackmailed and the blackmailers wanted to reveal his sexual orientation if he stayed in the spotlight. But the guy said no, and told everybody his story including him being gay, and took the power out of his blackmailers hands.
Honestly this makes a lot of sense, like its important to know each other's boundaries before marraige and have a clear sense of what each person wants out of it (aka emotional needs and stuff).
Growing up catholic I had a priest instruct people who had homosexual desires to take vows and become nuns/monks. While I had another friend say that they could still be in a hetero marriage. I don't see the appeal and I would not want to have a partner who had no romantic desire to be with me.
If anyone is interested in this, you should check out Philip Schofields book or just generally info about his situation. He married a woman and had kids and after years and years of marriage they helped him come to terms with the fact that he’s gay. They stayed married and continue living together as far as I’m aware. For them it really was a case of the marriage becoming companionship / friendship only and I think that’s a beautiful example of how it can go. Although I understand that not everyone would be comfortable with such a change.
I feel like if this isn’t the outcome, either 1) you haven’t been married long enough or 2) your relationship was never strong enough to withstand any bump in the road anyway 🤷♀️
Well, just because a person is gay doesn't mean they are going to act on it. I mean, I called myself heterosexual way before I actually fell in love or had sex. So like, I guess I'd be okay with it if my husband didn't plan to have a relationship with a man. I guess some people don't realize they're gay until later in life. If that were the case, I hope I'd be understanding. However, if he knew he was gay when he married me, I'd be very angry. I'm just guessing because I can't imagine being in that situation.
If my husband "came out" to me after 16 years of marriage, yes I'd be upset, a heartbroken, but in the end I would just let him go so he can find his happiness
i don't even know how i would feel. i think shocked and sad. i can't imagine it very good bc i never had a relationship with someone. thank you for the video!
If my partner came out as gay? A bit of, you just told me now after all these years! And, congratulations you're true to yourself. Probably break up after that and hopefully stay great friends.
I consider myself an LGBTQIA+ ally. I 100% support them. That being said, if you even THINK you MIGHT be gay, bi, trans, etc... YOU NEED TO DISCLOSE THAT TO ANYONE YOU ARE CONSIDERING DATING/MARRYING. Some people would be okay with it, and some people won't. That is their right, and by not telling them, you are taking that right away from them. I would not want to be in a relationship with a gay man. I am not interested in a purely platonic marriage. Others may be okay with that, and that's 100% okay if they are. But they should have the ability to make that decision for themselves.
As a non muslim lgbtq person this made feel whole lot better :) And i feel like you should discuss your sexuality before marriage with your partner. And a gay/lesbain person can still be romantically and emotionally attracted to you so it's okay to continue the marriage with him/her. :>
I think deep down maybe there could be some kind of feeling of betrayal, but overall I'd be understanding. As far as sexuality goes, I'm asexual and maybe this could for me change with time but I never wanted kids, and so finding this out from a partner may not even really feel like a problem. (If I do end up finding someone I really want to marry, I would ofc then provide for that marriage--intimacy, kids, etc. God willing)
Of course I would feel bad too, because I know figuring out one's sexuality is hard, I realised I'm bi in college, but if you're marrying someone, that should be only if you know for sure that you're romantically and sexually attracted to them, if not, I don't see the marriage working anyway
@@vatsalasaxena4725 I don't exactly know what you mean by educational, I am an engineer and I study mostly from udemy or other sources, also yes it could be confusing , you could try watching a movie you love and note that do you think the same way about the heroine as for the hero, attraction can be of many types, try noting if you ever felt a different way about people you may know of the same sex, also never been in a relationship myself so I don't have much tips Hehe, but hope this helps, stay safe and keep experimenting, hope you'll figure it out soon 💫😇🌈
@@vatsalasaxena4725 ya true, also your sexual orientation and romantic orientation can be different, like if you are sexually attracted to men and women, you're bisexual and if are romantically attracted to just men, you're a heteroromantic bisexual, also these labels are just ways to find people like you, it's ok to use or not use them, with some experience with people, you'll get a fair idea, you could even try dating apps, beware of the creeps btw but some are better like Bumble. And for education, even ik only these channels btw, there's one more, she posts a variety of content but her thoughts could be useful for you too maybe, channel name is Shaaba. It's her name too and she's married to a bisexual trans man, she's bisexual too, her husband has a separate channel though called jammidodger, he's so sweet, he usually posts meme reactions though, she posts her thoughts and Mythbusters and stuff
My partner and I are both bi (we have a family/home and are are very committed for life, no plans to get govt. paper married though) and we've actually largely only dated other folks who are bi, so it's hard to even consider this scenario! I guess I'd feel weird if someone that chose to marry was not into women at all and didn't tell me until after marriage, but I guess not being culturally compelled to be celibate before marriage, it would be sort of impossible for that to not be glaringly obvious ahead of time! I am curious if as Muslims if you knew going into marriage that one of you had non-hetero sexuality, would that affect the friendships you have with same-sex folks just as it does with opposite-sex folks?
And my response to the question you two asked: I am queer and non-binary, attracted to mostly non-men. If my partner came out to me as anything under the lgbt umbrella I would be supportive, even if they came out as something meaning they aren't attracted to me/my gender/etc. For instance my current partner does happen to be male, and if he came out as gay I would be saddened to potentially end that partnership. But I would prioritize their happiness and free will over my own wants. That's what you do if you truly love somebody! And for a laugh - not gonna lie, there are way worse ways relationships could end for me than if my partner came out and wasn't attracted to my gender. 😂
If he wouldn’t want a divorce and he is overall a nice person, a bff, I would try to get the best out of marrying my best friend, traveling, having inside jokes, be happy, maybe adopting some kids, but also making him clear that if he or myself fall in love with someone else where there’s a romantic attraction I would immediately want a divorce no matter what (also if he turns out a bad person, violent, etc) so we can fulfill our romantic life the way is supposed to PS: But obviously I would feel completely betrayed and would need some days alone to clean up my head from so many abrup thoughts and get back to my calm and peaceful self
Well, I am in this situation right now. My partner came out as transgender. We had been married for 8 years prior. I felt betrayed at first, but, I truly don't think my partner knew. I really don't. Then, I went through all 5 stages of greif, over and over again. And finally, landed on acceptance. I love my partner with everything I've got. And, as long as my boundries are accepted, then I have no issues with my partner.
As a teenager who is Biromantic Asexual who doesn’t want kids and has very high standards who I would be with, I would have a mix a feelings. For me to be with someone I would have to be romantically attracted to them and that will most likely be the same whether they came out to me or not. As long as their personality doesn’t change about me and they still feel the same towards me and our relationship they we can still be together. As for marriage: I don’t really have a straight opinion on that at the moment, so I won’t say anything.
It depends. My muslim client tried to divorce her gay husband and met so many obstacles. Her husband's family threatened her and Imam blamed her for not being woman enough. She was told to be attractive so he won't be gay.
I think if you never were in contact with the opposite gender and never spent alone time with them at all before marriage, it could be possible that you don't realise you're gay until you marry and realise you don't feel that way for them. Because many people think for many many years that it's completely normal to think your friends are so beautiful and lovely and they don't realise that what they're actually feeling is attraction. They also don't realise they don't feel it for the opposite sex cause they never made close friendships there. If you're going and deep down you're scared of what will happen if you are gay, I think it's possible that your subconscious doesn't want to realise it and one you're married, you're forced to realise it. In that scenario, I wouldn't feel betrayed. But if they always knew, then yes, like you said.
I would feel betrayed too. If they were gay (no attraction to women whatsoever, no chance to have the relationship I actually want) the only solution would be to get a divorce as sad as that would be.
I honestly wouldn't care of they came out as bi or pan because they'd still be attracted to me. Well maybe a little upset they didn't trust me with it but I wouldn't be angry. If they came out as gay, I would question if I was just a cover up to try and "fix themselves" (not that it works that way) or if they just wanted companionship. My immediate thought would be if they wanted to get a divorce to be their true selves.
I'd just deal with it as it came. As a queer person (bi) I know how hard it is to come to terms with it in a society that doesn't accept you. My husband just cares that I love him and am attracted to him and am monogamous. If he told me he was gay, I'd be a little confused, but I'd understand that he hadn't really been able to accept that about himself before and we'd work through what we both wanted from there.
I would be worried that they can only unhappy in the long term if they stay in a monogamous relationship with me, if they're not attracted at all to me/my gender. Cause if they stay with me, that means they never get to live out being with a person they can actually fall in love with and feel physical and romantic attraction to. Even if they love me deeply as a friend, I would be scared that they would be depressed or resentful of never having the possibility to live out who they are, something they can't change about themselves. You can't force yourself to love someone romantically if you're not romantically attracted to their gender, and I would also feel very bad about wanting to have sex, or wanting children, cause I'd feel like pressuring them into it when I know they're not attracted to my gender. So I think that in reality, we probably would split up, because we both deserve to be with someone we are capable of loving romantically and also sexually. But I would try my best to be understanding and loving and to remain friends, I wouldn't blame them for something they can never change, and I know there's so much to overcome and I would want to be very supportive.
I dated someone for a whole year before they came out to me as trans. It was really hard on our relationship and we tried for a long time to make it work. In the end we did break up and it was for the best. I didn't feel 'betrayed' but I wish we had talked about it sooner.
Well I definitely like men but I'm also attracted to women at times! I'm already married but anyway I would not do anything wrong with a woman! Sometimes my mind is distracted but I'm trying my best to control it! But I'm like 70% into men and 30% into women! But I'm just keeping it in my thoughts! I would not take a step further because I know it's not allowed in islam! I'm a revert Muslim I have done some things in my past but after I became Muslim I didn't do anything wrong with any gender! I thought go marry so that I can protect myself from haram relationships because I'm a person that cannot resist easily the sexual pleasures! So I think I made a good decision! My partner was also aware of that before we marry and he was ok with it! So no worries!! May Allah protect us from haram desires and help us to lower our gaze inshallah! I really love your channel guys! You are both amazing! May Allah bless you and accept your fasting and prayers in this holy month of Ramadan inshaAllah!
As a gay man who doesn't feel any sort of attraction for opposite sex. I would think I would know before marriage. But your feelings of betrayal after marriage, are valid. I have a follow question for you guys though. Let's say you found out one of was attracted to the same sex before marriage, and you couldn't fulfill the others desire... Would you support that person and still wish for their happiness?
Such an awful thing to realize after the marriage... imagine being a covered woman and that even your husband doesn’t find you attractive. Truly heartbreaking. I’d divorce them right away.
How about if your spouse came out to you as transgender or non-binary? I'm curious as Muslims your view on this (I am non-binary) and I know you both handle these topics with nuance and respect no matter your opinions.
I'm curious because the definitions of trans/non-binary are, well, not as binary as a lot of people think. And an individual's own gender identity is separate from who they experience attraction to. It's a bit of a thicker discussion than if one's spouse was gay because gender identity may manifest in different ways. Like they may transition or they may not, etc.
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s Bro you're projecting hard. I fully understand that. I'm asking Mehdi and Mubina this question, not you. Nor am I trying to force you to abide by my rules like you mentioned. Relax
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s I love how if I made sweeping negative generalizations about Muslims like you’re doing about LGBT people, I’m sure youd be angry. Do us all a favor and go AFK, maybe go outside or something and do an act of kindness to replace all the BS that just came out of your fingertips. 😌😌😌
I'd have to disagree. A lot of times due to being raised in a heteronormitive society people don't get to think about or discover their sexuality. It's ok to come out at ANY AGE! I think you need to realize it'd be just as hard on your queer spouse to realize this one fine day and have to tell you.
If my bf came out as bi(most not likely), I’d say ok and welcome to the bi club. If he was full on gay I would ask how he managed to hide it so well for almost 10 years 😅
Yeah I'm not married I've got a girl I'm trying to get back together with but if she came out to be a lesbian I would still love her just the same and I would ask her what she stay with me and still be true to me I would accept her choice because I want her to be happy
One problem with that though is that some people don’t know or are still trying to find themselves. What would be the case? Personally I’d be shocked and upset but I’d be supportive because to some people, that’s a big deal to come out to someone.
I’ve been alive for this whole “movement” and I’ve got to say, it’s completely stupid. If your partner no longer satisfies you, is one thing. To say you’re attracted to someone one else (either in addition to, or instead of) doesn’t matter. Do they support you? Are they your friend? Those are the most important in a marriage. If you divorce you’re; on your own, you have to “sift” through the dirt again for a possibly good partner (one you may never find), and all for what? Pleasure? In my opinion it’s not worth divorce unless someone is being abused.
If you get married to someone that means you're attracted to them. he could realize he was bi but if he was gay he wouldn't be discovering that after marriage.
@@RockyRoad7 there are religions that people follow that have beliefs against being anything other than straight (for those followers of the religion). If people get married too young (as most people of any belief do) then they don’t have enough time to think about what they want their life to look like. This can lead to feelings of anger and jealousy, even though they may have made this decision themselves. You don’t have to be attracted to your marriage partner, you just have to be able to be cooperative and communicative with your partner. Being best friends is the best way to be with your life partner. Not everything is about sex. 🤦♀️
@@TheUnplannedLove Obviously if they're really young it's a different story, but if they're getting married in their 20s or older they'll usually know their sexuality, at least to some degree. Physical attraction is also important to most people, but it isn't necessarily about sex.
Honestly here in the subcontinent, during courtship when asking the questions you can't really make it known your sexuality, it's very conservative and most gay people that get married to a female it's 100% forced and I've seen, married older men cheating on their wife because they don't have that male attractions. These forced marriage sometimes also end in suicide.
Is being gay or part of the LGBTQ+allowed in Islam? Like if someone knows that they are but they want to keep practicing there religion are they allowed to? I’m just wondering because I know in other religions it can be frowned upon and not accepted but what happens in those situations in Islam? I mean no offense to anyone I am just genuinely curious. Thank you for the video!
But why would you still want to marry someone who is gay though? And why would a gay man even want to marry you. That doesn't make any sense. Is marriage in your culture not about being with someone that you are actually attracted to?
To be honest, if that happened to me, I would probably divorce him. I have known too many couples where one partner was gay, and it never worked out. This is because being gay is NOT just about their sexual life. A gay man wants to be with another man emotionally as well. Both parties end up unhappy.
Well, it depends, because if they find out later in life, you can still be married without sexual attraction. Marriage means commitment. Also no one marries without at least some attraction/love for the spouse. So in this scenario, falling in love outside marriage happens and doesn't matter if it is for opposite or same sex person, but what matters is how you act on those feelings. I think it's the same scenario as if you have a wife and with some time find her less attractive and find some other woman attractive more, it is the same as if you find another man attractive more than your wife. You are married and should be honest about the situation and yes, some will end up getting divorced, some will realize that marriage is more than sexual attraction and before everything is a mutual agreement for everlasting friendship and support, and can work through the fact of being attracted to a person outside marriage by either getting used to feeling the attraction but not acting on it, or come to an agreement of open relationship with marriage fulfilling it's civil and emotional purpose but seeking physical pleasure somewhere else. I would personally feel more betrayed if the person started to act like he never loved me and always were gay and wanted to divorce, then if he expressed his concerns to be honest and let me know that what we had was true.
I love when they are answering the question and looking at each other. May Allah bless you both
And what is the question ?
@@itaqilaah6607 huh?
Subhanallah 🤍
ruclips.net/video/gr7d1sTDNts/видео.html
I'm bisexual. I share that early on in a relationship. Like you, I'd feel betrayed if a partner told me they weren't attracted to my gender. I don't think I could date someone knowing that they're not sexually attracted to me/my gender because even if they could "satisfy my needs", it'd feel hollow knowing it's an obligation for them.
But you're forgetting that they didn't leave you, so they do have a form of bond and feelings. They are attracted to you so they are not practicing homosexuality
@@sameerhafeez7029 sorry, for me I need that "attraction" in a romantic relationship, so I can't date/marry someone who isn't attracted to my sex, or that I'm not attracted to...I think it's different for everyone
@@potatohead785 Completely unrelated but it's important
I'm guessing ur a muslim so u shouldn't be subscribed to someone who is against Islam so unsubscribe Talibland as she is ignorant about Islam fails to even define a hadith correctly and thinks Quran tells to kill all non believers
As a member of the LGBT community, it's really nice to see how well yall would handle the situation.
If u are asking for directions go straight
@@itaqilaah6607 i see your the only one laughing If you asking for directions @itaqi laah, go to the right path
@@itaqilaah6607 ugh so clever! But no i wont
Well yea even for non Muslim couples you probably shouldn’t hide your sexuality from them til after marriage
Yes
What if your spouse didn't realize they were gay (or a sexuality other than straight) until after you were married though? Like, they discovered they had those feelings and told you about it because they didn't want to keep it secret? Would you feel betrayed if that were the case? Personally, I would want my spouse to be open and honest about those things even if it might strain the relationship.
@@volimneretvu8923 I'm not sure exactly since I have never experienced a situation like that, but I know that sexuality can be fluid and can change over time. I was just imagining what might happen if a person thought they were straight, got married, and then came to the conclusion later on that they were not straight. I'd like to think if/when that happens to people that they would still love the person they are married to even if their sexual attraction may be different than they previously thought. (I know of couples - celebrities, even - who have been in heterosexual marriages where one of them realized they were gay and subsequently got divorced. It does seem odd 'cause like, yeah, why would you marry someone if you're not attracted to their gender? But it has happened.)
@@volimneretvu8923 as the other person mentioned sexuality can change over time. And also, due to social expectations, it is perfectly possible for someone to trick themselves into believing they are attracted to the opposite gender, and will only realize that they in fact aren’t when they learn that being gay is a thing. Another thing is that there is also a difference between romantic and sexual attraction, so a person could be attracted to 2 genders romantically and one gender sexually. And often it’s really hard to distinguish between both types of attraction so it’s possible that someone could mistake romantic attraction for sexual attraction or the other way around. This is hard to explain so sorry if it oesn’t make sense
@@volimneretvu8923 well maybe before that person didn't gave thoes feelings and the developed them later on
@@volimneretvu8923 Compulsory heterosexuality is a big deal. I’m gay, but I genuinely thought I was straight until I was 18. A lot of things led me to that conclusion. I was raised in a very conservative Catholic environment. Family and friends would talk about “when you get a boyfriend” or “your future husband” which just reinforced that I would eventually marry a man. I was taught that men are very sexual and women aren’t nearly as sexual, so to me, I wasn’t sexually attracted to men but I figured that was normal since I’m a girl, and I also could tell stereotypically attractive male features apart from stereotypically “ugly” ones, so I knew which boys to call “cute.” I knew what traits I wanted out of a husband, so I used that as my meter for attraction, not any physical feelings. Because I genuinely wasn’t taught that people COULD like someone of the same gender, I constantly mistook any of my crushes on girls as “just really wanting to be her best friend.” I was also never given an accurate, unbiased example of gay people to reference; I was raised to believe gay people are sinful, selfish, overly-sexual, loud, rude, satanic, etc. and I was none of that, so I concluded that I must not be gay. It was also highly stigmatized and a “horrible thing to be,” so I actively did NOT want to be gay, anyway. Dating boys was my way of trying to prove to myself and my bullies that I wasn’t gay.
I dated a guy for 2 years in high school and had convinced myself I was going to marry him. I wasn’t attracted to him at all, but as far as I could tell, he was more bearable than any other man I knew, our families got along, and he checked off most of the boxes I was looking for: smart, skilled, educated, semi-attractive, male, not physically abusive, good job prospects, respected my physical boundaries, didn’t cheat on me. Those seem like low standards now, but in the environment I was in, that was exactly what we were encouraged to look for. I never had any adult figure telling me it’s important that I am sexually attracted to my husband, in fact, I was told sex would probably be painful and annoying but it would be my wifely duty, and it was the only way to make babies, which was supposed to be my life’s purpose.
I would also talk about my lack of attraction to my boyfriend with my friends and family, and they told me it was NORMAL and the attraction would come later. When it never did, I was mocked for being naiive, and told that I shouldn’t expect it to feel like movies or books or tv or songs, because that’s all made-up fantasy. So, I mistook the care I had for him as love for him. I believed what everyone was telling me, and that everyone was exaggerating when they described love. And since the people I was confiding in also didn’t want me to be gay, since they believed it was so bad, they had every motive to try their best to convince me I was straight, too.
I was very lucky that after starting college at 18 and getting out of my Catholic bubble, I was able to start de-constructing a lot of the misinformation, and finally able to see different gay representation and that being gay wasn’t evil & can look a lot of different ways. That’s when I was able to realize I *was* gay, and I was able to realize that my feelings for my best friend weren’t platonic, and maybe that’s why I had always been so jealous when my friends growing up had boyfriends.
Unfortunately I know girls who got married at 18, and that could have easily been me. I also know girls who were coerced or pressured into having sex by their boyfriends, got pregnant, and got married immediately as a result. That could have been me, too. I know many women who went to Catholic colleges after graduation and have NEVER left the Catholic/Christian bubble, and STILL believe the lies we were told about gay people, and if that had been me, I know I would be 24 and still not realize I was gay. And maybe as a result, I would’ve gotten married, because I was always told that was what I was “supposed to do” as soon as possible.
In an ideal world, sure, everyone could figure out their sexuality as they grow up. But some of us were actively prevented from accessing those resources that could help us make that decision, and others of us have seen our faith stigmatize being LGBT+ so we are traumatized and completely unwilling to consider it. I have friends who were taught it is worse to be gay than it is to be a serial killer, and as you can imagine, that’s not damage you can undo quickly. Coupled with the pressure to get married young (which many faiths do), a lot of people don’t know much about themselves before they get married.
@@BeautifulDollsaster - it's great that you've found a path that resonates with you. The fact you feel comfortable sharing your experience could well help others who are in that situation
Would you feel the same way about if they didn’t necessarily know until after? Say if they had been struggling with their sexuality later and didn’t realize they were gay until after marriage, would it change anything? I love you guys so much!
If they didn't know then thats a whole different scenario.
Ha! I just asked the same..... sorry didn't read the comments before 🤷♀️
It really depends on the person this is a big betrayal though… but some would stay with that person and most would divorce.
@@MehdinaTV homosexuality isn’t allowed in Islam why are you preaching anti Islam garbage ruclips.net/video/gr7d1sTDNts/видео.html
@@twinnish are you defending homosexual Muslims?
I absolutely LOVE Mubinas hat! It’s very fashionable and Harry Potter. It’s also really nice to know all the stuff you said. I had to watch it twice beacuse the first time I was distracted by the hat
I was watching your video and my nephew came up, (he loves ninjas lol) and said auntie she looks like a ninja! How come?! I explained to him and he looked confused, thought for a second and said well I think it’s very pretty and than walked away lol.
Thats really cute!! Children always think im a ninja and sometimes i just play along if I can't talk to them. It helps them think of it as a more fun and positive thing :)
@@MehdinaTV so cutee!!!!!!!! NINJA *OMG*😂💗
I wouldn’t stay married to that person anymore and I know often when someone comes out in a marriage the outcome is divorce. It’s the same for those who come out as trans in a marriage.
Well if my future wife told me she's gay, I'd say "Yeah I know, you're married to me" because I'm a lesbian 😅
Kindly tell me how someone come to know that he/she is gay
Dumb question
But i dont know🤐
@@laibazahid373
1. Ask them, that's the most reliable
2. If they tell you or you witness that they are in a romantic relationship with someone of the same gender
You can't see it in the way someone acts, dresses or speaks, because gay people aren't all the same. Those are just stereotypes.
@@laibazahid373 Its just a feeling! Like I realized that I had crushes towards girls and never towards guys. It's the same way people know they're straight, except with some extra steps of internalized homophobia and sometimes not even knowing that being gay is an option
@@mcxlii ok..
@@elina3016 oh i thought it has some something to do with body or genes..and some test is done for it to know
Ahh i m dumb🙄
By the way thankyou🌸
So I'm in a long-term relationship and we have been together for 4 years now, I didn't realize I was bisexual until a few months ago due to oppression by my family. He was completely understanding and I really appreciate that.
I'm glad he is understanding. May God bless you both
Mubina that color looks STUNNING on you!! I don't know if I've ever seen you in that green but it makes your eyes pop!
The way Ross reacted after he found out Carol was a lesbian..
I'd have to seperate from her and then hope to be an happy relationship again..
But no way am I walking my ex-wife down the aisle.. 🙈
I wasn’t married to this guy but I. High school he was interested in me and all my friends said he’s a good guy so we hung out a few times and finally went on a date and at the end he kissed me. When I got home he text me and said we’ll I just want to let you know I’m gay. I didn’t care because he was a cool person to just hang out with. What bothered me was I never heard from him again. Just recently I reached out to him to see how he was doing and I was left on read. I don’t know if he felt bad or what but I want him to know he didn’t have to hide it’s better for him to have a life that will make him happy. I just hate I lost a friend
That sounds like such a complicated thing. I am happy he was at least upfront about things from the beginning.
love this video! i do want to point out that not everyone knows for a while, and they might not know before marriage :)
Honestly, if my spouse(s) didn’t feel comfortable/safe coming out to me, I wouldn’t assume it was because of me. (Though, yes, I admit it would suck that they couldn’t see something different in me.) I know from experience that being traumatized by people’s reactions to you coming out is a very common and very difficult to overcome once it’s happened. There’s also the fact that some people do get violent in these cases, so sometimes you’re really not sure who you can trust with this very personal and vulnerable aspect of your identity.
It is just my opinion that in marriage attraction if that is physically mentally both are so important and if you came out about your sexuality before marriage you should not marry some one out of your line because that would not be justice for your as well as other person's feeling so marriying some one you are not attrated to would se so wrong according to me and if you are coming out to even to yourself after marriage that would be a total different thing. P.S this is just my opinion if you believe something else i totally respect it and you may even share that to me as well by replying to this comment.
I'm sure I'd be sad and mourn the loss of what I thought we had, but loving someone unconditionally means that I'd support him in doing whatever he needed to do to be truly happy. I'd hope that we could still be close friends and that I wouldn't lose him entirely.
I know a gay man who has 8 kids. He was married to a woman, but probably because society's pressure. It was very common for gay men to enter a hetero relationship just to keep up a facade and avoid punishment. The man I knew of is a kind hearted one, he had a fast food restaurant and he kept feeding the homeless, but soon his business was vandalized. He wanted to help the town he lived in, but soon he was blackmailed and the blackmailers wanted to reveal his sexual orientation if he stayed in the spotlight. But the guy said no, and told everybody his story including him being gay, and took the power out of his blackmailers hands.
Mubina and Mehdi, you guys are so humorous, May ALLAH make us ALLL meet in Heavens INSHAALLAH
Honestly this makes a lot of sense, like its important to know each other's boundaries before marraige and have a clear sense of what each person wants out of it (aka emotional needs and stuff).
Her voice is so nice, I'm not muslim but I always see one of your videos in my shorts and always click on it
Love the Harry Potter hat
Growing up catholic I had a priest instruct people who had homosexual desires to take vows and become nuns/monks. While I had another friend say that they could still be in a hetero marriage. I don't see the appeal and I would not want to have a partner who had no romantic desire to be with me.
I love that cap of hers, Potterhead here 💖
I like your Hogwarts Hat!
If anyone is interested in this, you should check out Philip Schofields book or just generally info about his situation. He married a woman and had kids and after years and years of marriage they helped him come to terms with the fact that he’s gay. They stayed married and continue living together as far as I’m aware. For them it really was a case of the marriage becoming companionship / friendship only and I think that’s a beautiful example of how it can go. Although I understand that not everyone would be comfortable with such a change.
I feel like if this isn’t the outcome, either 1) you haven’t been married long enough or 2) your relationship was never strong enough to withstand any bump in the road anyway 🤷♀️
Oh my god Mubina’s laugh is so pretty 🥰 also great info!
Well, just because a person is gay doesn't mean they are going to act on it. I mean, I called myself heterosexual way before I actually fell in love or had sex. So like, I guess I'd be okay with it if my husband didn't plan to have a relationship with a man.
I guess some people don't realize they're gay until later in life. If that were the case, I hope I'd be understanding.
However, if he knew he was gay when he married me, I'd be very angry.
I'm just guessing because I can't imagine being in that situation.
Idk actually, maybe I'd react like Ross did- considerate enough to let go, but salty for the rest of my life.
If my husband "came out" to me after 16 years of marriage, yes I'd be upset, a heartbroken, but in the end I would just let him go so he can find his happiness
i don't even know how i would feel.
i think shocked and sad. i can't imagine it very good bc i never had a relationship with someone.
thank you for the video!
Truth is always #1
If my partner came out as gay? A bit of, you just told me now after all these years! And, congratulations you're true to yourself. Probably break up after that and hopefully stay great friends.
If that happened, I'll take dat shebsheb👡 and trakh👋🏻, on his mind lol!😂
I would support them but I would also divorce them
GUYS
I think Mubina is a Potterhead!
Great video tho, u guys are great 💗
I’d be like “ight u still wanna be friends or what?”
I love all your videos they are amazing
Love the conversation! The Hogwarts Hat is AWESOME 🤩
I had my inner coming out as bisexual over 3 years after my marriage.
Sometimes it's not possible to tell your partner before getting married.
she's so pretty
how can anyone not be atracked to her
You don't even know what she looks like😂
You guys and your winter hats! 💙
I mean i'd react with "...we've been in a lesbian marriage the entire time-"
Love your guys relationship🥰🥰🥰
What do u mean ?
Don’t you that they are married?
@@itaqilaah6607 a marriage isn't a relationship?
If my husband came out as gay, I would still want to be married to him.
But I’m not 😂😂💀 Love you guys! 🥰
I consider myself an LGBTQIA+ ally. I 100% support them. That being said, if you even THINK you MIGHT be gay, bi, trans, etc... YOU NEED TO DISCLOSE THAT TO ANYONE YOU ARE CONSIDERING DATING/MARRYING. Some people would be okay with it, and some people won't. That is their right, and by not telling them, you are taking that right away from them. I would not want to be in a relationship with a gay man. I am not interested in a purely platonic marriage. Others may be okay with that, and that's 100% okay if they are. But they should have the ability to make that decision for themselves.
My future partner: “I like (whatever is the same as their gender) too.”
Me, a bisexual woman: TWINSIESSSS
Would you still feel betrayed even if they didn’t know until you were both married??
How I would react: well I’m genderfluid… pog
As a non muslim lgbtq person this made feel whole lot better :) And i feel like you should discuss your sexuality before marriage with your partner. And a gay/lesbain person can still be romantically and emotionally attracted to you so it's okay to continue the marriage with him/her. :>
I love you guys soooo much so real!
Masha Allah
I think deep down maybe there could be some kind of feeling of betrayal, but overall I'd be understanding. As far as sexuality goes, I'm asexual and maybe this could for me change with time but I never wanted kids, and so finding this out from a partner may not even really feel like a problem. (If I do end up finding someone I really want to marry, I would ofc then provide for that marriage--intimacy, kids, etc. God willing)
i love your hogwarts hat:)
I respect him but he's cute 💫, also happily married to mubina, wish you a happy married life
This actually happened to me, I felt very angry, hurt and betrayed.. It's been 9 years, we're friends but I'm still bitter about it sometimes..
Of course I would feel bad too, because I know figuring out one's sexuality is hard, I realised I'm bi in college, but if you're marrying someone, that should be only if you know for sure that you're romantically and sexually attracted to them, if not, I don't see the marriage working anyway
@@vatsalasaxena4725 hii, yes, you were there on sidra baaji's video too. Also glad you watch summer luk too 😊💫
@@vatsalasaxena4725 I don't exactly know what you mean by educational, I am an engineer and I study mostly from udemy or other sources, also yes it could be confusing , you could try watching a movie you love and note that do you think the same way about the heroine as for the hero, attraction can be of many types, try noting if you ever felt a different way about people you may know of the same sex, also never been in a relationship myself so I don't have much tips Hehe, but hope this helps, stay safe and keep experimenting, hope you'll figure it out soon 💫😇🌈
@@vatsalasaxena4725 ya true, also your sexual orientation and romantic orientation can be different, like if you are sexually attracted to men and women, you're bisexual and if are romantically attracted to just men, you're a heteroromantic bisexual, also these labels are just ways to find people like you, it's ok to use or not use them, with some experience with people, you'll get a fair idea, you could even try dating apps, beware of the creeps btw but some are better like Bumble. And for education, even ik only these channels btw, there's one more, she posts a variety of content but her thoughts could be useful for you too maybe, channel name is Shaaba. It's her name too and she's married to a bisexual trans man, she's bisexual too, her husband has a separate channel though called jammidodger, he's so sweet, he usually posts meme reactions though, she posts her thoughts and Mythbusters and stuff
My partner and I are both bi (we have a family/home and are are very committed for life, no plans to get govt. paper married though) and we've actually largely only dated other folks who are bi, so it's hard to even consider this scenario! I guess I'd feel weird if someone that chose to marry was not into women at all and didn't tell me until after marriage, but I guess not being culturally compelled to be celibate before marriage, it would be sort of impossible for that to not be glaringly obvious ahead of time!
I am curious if as Muslims if you knew going into marriage that one of you had non-hetero sexuality, would that affect the friendships you have with same-sex folks just as it does with opposite-sex folks?
And my response to the question you two asked: I am queer and non-binary, attracted to mostly non-men. If my partner came out to me as anything under the lgbt umbrella I would be supportive, even if they came out as something meaning they aren't attracted to me/my gender/etc. For instance my current partner does happen to be male, and if he came out as gay I would be saddened to potentially end that partnership. But I would prioritize their happiness and free will over my own wants. That's what you do if you truly love somebody! And for a laugh - not gonna lie, there are way worse ways relationships could end for me than if my partner came out and wasn't attracted to my gender. 😂
If he wouldn’t want a divorce and he is overall a nice person, a bff, I would try to get the best out of marrying my best friend, traveling, having inside jokes, be happy, maybe adopting some kids, but also making him clear that if he or myself fall in love with someone else where there’s a romantic attraction I would immediately want a divorce no matter what (also if he turns out a bad person, violent, etc) so we can fulfill our romantic life the way is supposed to
PS: But obviously I would feel completely betrayed and would need some days alone to clean up my head from so many abrup thoughts and get back to my calm and peaceful self
Well, I am in this situation right now. My partner came out as transgender. We had been married for 8 years prior.
I felt betrayed at first, but, I truly don't think my partner knew. I really don't.
Then, I went through all 5 stages of greif, over and over again. And finally, landed on acceptance.
I love my partner with everything I've got. And, as long as my boundries are accepted, then I have no issues with my partner.
8 years? did she herself not know she was trans? Also, you trust eachother a lot, so its good
@@motherfucking no idea. We lived in a place where being LGBTQIA was not acceptable, so, she repressed it.
Thank you so much.
I have always shared with partners that I am pansexual. If they don't like it, they have the option to leave.
As a teenager who is Biromantic Asexual who doesn’t want kids and has very high standards who I would be with, I would have a mix a feelings. For me to be with someone I would have to be romantically attracted to them and that will most likely be the same whether they came out to me or not. As long as their personality doesn’t change about me and they still feel the same towards me and our relationship they we can still be together. As for marriage: I don’t really have a straight opinion on that at the moment, so I won’t say anything.
It depends. My muslim client tried to divorce her gay husband and met so many obstacles. Her husband's family threatened her and Imam blamed her for not being woman enough. She was told to be attractive so he won't be gay.
Bruh
I think if you never were in contact with the opposite gender and never spent alone time with them at all before marriage, it could be possible that you don't realise you're gay until you marry and realise you don't feel that way for them. Because many people think for many many years that it's completely normal to think your friends are so beautiful and lovely and they don't realise that what they're actually feeling is attraction. They also don't realise they don't feel it for the opposite sex cause they never made close friendships there. If you're going and deep down you're scared of what will happen if you are gay, I think it's possible that your subconscious doesn't want to realise it and one you're married, you're forced to realise it. In that scenario, I wouldn't feel betrayed. But if they always knew, then yes, like you said.
Islam for the win guys
Who wouldn't want a adorable and obedient men and women in their lives
i'd probably feel sad lol
you have to always be careful of others and why they are who they are. be patience, Inshallah Allah will make things great. Ameen.
I would also feel betrayesd because we already got married, but let them be themselves.
Aslam! Can u make a video about drawing or images? Thank You and u guys have my full support❤️
I would feel betrayed too. If they were gay (no attraction to women whatsoever, no chance to have the relationship I actually want) the only solution would be to get a divorce as sad as that would be.
This is the reason my parents got divorced
I honestly wouldn't care of they came out as bi or pan because they'd still be attracted to me. Well maybe a little upset they didn't trust me with it but I wouldn't be angry.
If they came out as gay, I would question if I was just a cover up to try and "fix themselves" (not that it works that way) or if they just wanted companionship. My immediate thought would be if they wanted to get a divorce to be their true selves.
I'd just deal with it as it came. As a queer person (bi) I know how hard it is to come to terms with it in a society that doesn't accept you. My husband just cares that I love him and am attracted to him and am monogamous. If he told me he was gay, I'd be a little confused, but I'd understand that he hadn't really been able to accept that about himself before and we'd work through what we both wanted from there.
I would be worried that they can only unhappy in the long term if they stay in a monogamous relationship with me, if they're not attracted at all to me/my gender. Cause if they stay with me, that means they never get to live out being with a person they can actually fall in love with and feel physical and romantic attraction to. Even if they love me deeply as a friend, I would be scared that they would be depressed or resentful of never having the possibility to live out who they are, something they can't change about themselves. You can't force yourself to love someone romantically if you're not romantically attracted to their gender, and I would also feel very bad about wanting to have sex, or wanting children, cause I'd feel like pressuring them into it when I know they're not attracted to my gender. So I think that in reality, we probably would split up, because we both deserve to be with someone we are capable of loving romantically and also sexually. But I would try my best to be understanding and loving and to remain friends, I wouldn't blame them for something they can never change, and I know there's so much to overcome and I would want to be very supportive.
I dated someone for a whole year before they came out to me as trans. It was really hard on our relationship and we tried for a long time to make it work. In the end we did break up and it was for the best. I didn't feel 'betrayed' but I wish we had talked about it sooner.
Well I definitely like men but I'm also attracted to women at times! I'm already married but anyway I would not do anything wrong with a woman! Sometimes my mind is distracted but I'm trying my best to control it! But I'm like 70% into men and 30% into women! But I'm just keeping it in my thoughts! I would not take a step further because I know it's not allowed in islam! I'm a revert Muslim I have done some things in my past but after I became Muslim I didn't do anything wrong with any gender! I thought go marry so that I can protect myself from haram relationships because I'm a person that cannot resist easily the sexual pleasures! So I think I made a good decision! My partner was also aware of that before we marry and he was ok with it! So no worries!! May Allah protect us from haram desires and help us to lower our gaze inshallah! I really love your channel guys! You are both amazing! May Allah bless you and accept your fasting and prayers in this holy month of Ramadan inshaAllah!
As a gay man who doesn't feel any sort of attraction for opposite sex. I would think I would know before marriage. But your feelings of betrayal after marriage, are valid. I have a follow question for you guys though. Let's say you found out one of was attracted to the same sex before marriage, and you couldn't fulfill the others desire... Would you support that person and still wish for their happiness?
Such an awful thing to realize after the marriage... imagine being a covered woman and that even your husband doesn’t find you attractive. Truly heartbreaking. I’d divorce them right away.
I don't think a homosexual woman would be trying to date me. Like Mubina said. This is an odd question.
You guys are amazing
How about if your spouse came out to you as transgender or non-binary? I'm curious as Muslims your view on this (I am non-binary) and I know you both handle these topics with nuance and respect no matter your opinions.
I'm curious because the definitions of trans/non-binary are, well, not as binary as a lot of people think. And an individual's own gender identity is separate from who they experience attraction to. It's a bit of a thicker discussion than if one's spouse was gay because gender identity may manifest in different ways. Like they may transition or they may not, etc.
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s Bro you're projecting hard. I fully understand that. I'm asking Mehdi and Mubina this question, not you. Nor am I trying to force you to abide by my rules like you mentioned. Relax
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s bro i have not bullied you a single time but I’m going to start if you keep it up :)
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s I love how if I made sweeping negative generalizations about Muslims like you’re doing about LGBT people, I’m sure youd be angry. Do us all a favor and go AFK, maybe go outside or something and do an act of kindness to replace all the BS that just came out of your fingertips. 😌😌😌
@@user-ep7jh2ox6s YOUR NAME IS IN ARABIC I DO NOT KNOW ARABIC lmaooo
Did someone else notice her Hogwarts boodle hat?
I would say "I know you are, that's why I married you dummy!"
I'd have to disagree. A lot of times due to being raised in a heteronormitive society people don't get to think about or discover their sexuality. It's ok to come out at ANY AGE! I think you need to realize it'd be just as hard on your queer spouse to realize this one fine day and have to tell you.
If my bf came out as bi(most not likely), I’d say ok and welcome to the bi club. If he was full on gay I would ask how he managed to hide it so well for almost 10 years 😅
Yeah I'm not married I've got a girl I'm trying to get back together with but if she came out to be a lesbian I would still love her just the same and I would ask her what she stay with me and still be true to me I would accept her choice because I want her to be happy
First ♥️ this is really cute
What would you’d o if he told you after but he only figured it out after marriage?
I would support them and if they where nice I would still be friends with them (answer for question)
One problem with that though is that some people don’t know or are still trying to find themselves. What would be the case? Personally I’d be shocked and upset but I’d be supportive because to some people, that’s a big deal to come out to someone.
I’ve been alive for this whole “movement” and I’ve got to say, it’s completely stupid. If your partner no longer satisfies you, is one thing. To say you’re attracted to someone one else (either in addition to, or instead of) doesn’t matter. Do they support you? Are they your friend? Those are the most important in a marriage. If you divorce you’re; on your own, you have to “sift” through the dirt again for a possibly good partner (one you may never find), and all for what? Pleasure?
In my opinion it’s not worth divorce unless someone is being abused.
If you get married to someone that means you're attracted to them. he could realize he was bi but if he was gay he wouldn't be discovering that after marriage.
@@RockyRoad7 there are religions that people follow that have beliefs against being anything other than straight (for those followers of the religion). If people get married too young (as most people of any belief do) then they don’t have enough time to think about what they want their life to look like. This can lead to feelings of anger and jealousy, even though they may have made this decision themselves.
You don’t have to be attracted to your marriage partner, you just have to be able to be cooperative and communicative with your partner. Being best friends is the best way to be with your life partner.
Not everything is about sex. 🤦♀️
@@TheUnplannedLove Obviously if they're really young it's a different story, but if they're getting married in their 20s or older they'll usually know their sexuality, at least to some degree. Physical attraction is also important to most people, but it isn't necessarily about sex.
Honestly here in the subcontinent, during courtship when asking the questions you can't really make it known your sexuality, it's very conservative and most gay people that get married to a female it's 100% forced and I've seen, married older men cheating on their wife because they don't have that male attractions. These forced marriage sometimes also end in suicide.
Is being gay or part of the LGBTQ+allowed in Islam? Like if someone knows that they are but they want to keep practicing there religion are they allowed to? I’m just wondering because I know in other religions it can be frowned upon and not accepted but what happens in those situations in Islam? I mean no offense to anyone I am just genuinely curious. Thank you for the video!
In Islam, homosexuality is not permitted.
Isn't it too cold in your home? 😂 Nice HP cap btw
But why would you still want to marry someone who is gay though? And why would a gay man even want to marry you. That doesn't make any sense. Is marriage in your culture not about being with someone that you are actually attracted to?
What if they don't realize they're gay til later like comphet?
Can you make a video about Harry Potter I just noticed the hogwarts hat
To be honest, if that happened to me, I would probably divorce him. I have known too many couples where one partner was gay, and it never worked out. This is because being gay is NOT just about their sexual life. A gay man wants to be with another man emotionally as well. Both parties end up unhappy.
I'm arosexual so idc, I love getting married as friends for convenience, lavender marriages are my forte
I am ace. I have no sexual or very little attraction. We still have a sex life. It really did not change much for us. I hope that makes scents…
Well, it depends, because if they find out later in life, you can still be married without sexual attraction. Marriage means commitment. Also no one marries without at least some attraction/love for the spouse. So in this scenario, falling in love outside marriage happens and doesn't matter if it is for opposite or same sex person, but what matters is how you act on those feelings. I think it's the same scenario as if you have a wife and with some time find her less attractive and find some other woman attractive more, it is the same as if you find another man attractive more than your wife. You are married and should be honest about the situation and yes, some will end up getting divorced, some will realize that marriage is more than sexual attraction and before everything is a mutual agreement for everlasting friendship and support, and can work through the fact of being attracted to a person outside marriage by either getting used to feeling the attraction but not acting on it, or come to an agreement of open relationship with marriage fulfilling it's civil and emotional purpose but seeking physical pleasure somewhere else.
I would personally feel more betrayed if the person started to act like he never loved me and always were gay and wanted to divorce, then if he expressed his concerns to be honest and let me know that what we had was true.
I’m queer, so I hope my spouse would have come out to me before we got married 😆