Lawful Stupid Simp Joins D&D to WHITE KNIGHT This Girl (+ More) - RPG Horror Stories

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  • Опубликовано: 4 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 419

  • @legomaniac213
    @legomaniac213 2 года назад +895

    First story: "Why do you wear a mask? Were you scarred or burned by acid or something?" "Oh no, its just that they're terribly comfortable and I think everyone will be wearing them in the future."

    • @danguillou713
      @danguillou713 2 года назад +53

      Bonus points for being named after an oracle.

    • @rayanderson5797
      @rayanderson5797 2 года назад +78

      I watched that movie with my wife just a little while ago.
      When that whole "I think everyone will be wearing them in the future" line came up we both looked at each other and just laughed.
      I think that line got way funnier than the writers ever expected.

    • @lockwoan01
      @lockwoan01 2 года назад +10

      @@rayanderson5797 Agreed. Mentioned that over on another site I'm on - got a few chuckles and hearts there.

    • @thegreatandterrible4508
      @thegreatandterrible4508 2 года назад +3

      Second story

    • @Michael-fd1gx
      @Michael-fd1gx 2 года назад +4

      That is Plague Doctor mask.

  • @zakuraRabbit
    @zakuraRabbit 2 года назад +442

    "This is my only chance of getting a girlfriend" No... no... It is not. That chance disappeared when you threatened her friend. Even if it was in-game.

    • @SampoPaalanen
      @SampoPaalanen 2 года назад +77

      Honestly I think that guy never had chance to begin with, I think this another case of faux "nice guy" who forgets that women are just as smart as men (oh and just for the record I'm a cis guy); suspect that this guy thought it was his only chance for girlfriend because it was the first time a female human had talked to him in a way that could in any way be constructed as "friendly".

    • @shadenox8164
      @shadenox8164 2 года назад +1

      It was gone when she told him to stop and he didn't. I don't know how these white knights think women think, but much like men if they tell you to stop doing something they're going to be annoyed when you don't. Its like they're people or something.

    • @SampoPaalanen
      @SampoPaalanen 2 года назад +38

      @@shadenox8164 Exactly this never respect the Ranger as a person only as scoreboard (to give this in semi-SFW way).
      I'm actually Bisexual and even though I'm a man I wouldn't want a male partner who wouldn't respect me as a person and all the women I know are the same way as me.

    • @kevink2146
      @kevink2146 2 года назад +8

      @@Teo_live BRO WHAT???

    • @kevink2146
      @kevink2146 2 года назад

      @@Teo_live Ngl, this sounds like you're trying to say that "alphas are real and only THEY get women and betas are cucksmen forever and ever that never get bitches".

  • @hiro4344
    @hiro4344 2 года назад +438

    "Women shouldn't do evil things!"
    "Uh, buddy, *no one* should do evil things."

    • @rhunter42dragon
      @rhunter42dragon 2 года назад +16

      Now now, imagine where fantasy in general would be if no one did evil things.

    • @lollyjollyflapjacks6078
      @lollyjollyflapjacks6078 2 года назад +11

      Yes also we should point him into the direction of women who do bad stuff. Like the woman who grabbed her baby cooked it then served it to her husband as revenge for cheating. Or the woman that was Gypsey’s mother.

    • @deepstrike9750
      @deepstrike9750 Год назад +1

      100 iq

    • @brianvance1178
      @brianvance1178 Год назад +1

      And yet, they do evil things all the time, so do men for that matter. Not all of them, but enough of them to cause problems for the rest of us

    • @willc3697
      @willc3697 Год назад +5

      “No, evil men should do evil things so good guys like me can stop them and show the innocent, beautiful ladies how heroic we are.”

  • @michaeldolan5792
    @michaeldolan5792 2 года назад +589

    "But this is my only opportunity to find a woman who understands me!!!!"
    Dude, most women understand you perfectly well. That's why they don't like you.

    • @eaglestown4609
      @eaglestown4609 2 года назад +21

      @@Teo_live when I read "beta" and "Chad" in the same comment I almost had a stroke

    • @eaglestown4609
      @eaglestown4609 2 года назад +21

      @@Teo_live bro... You good?
      Thought you were joking never though I'd find one of those alpha bros in the wild
      Talking about clueless

    • @eaglestown4609
      @eaglestown4609 2 года назад +17

      @@Teo_live... My man I'm a doctor and I have no idea what you're talking about
      (free to not believe me of course)

    • @eaglestown4609
      @eaglestown4609 2 года назад +30

      @@Teo_live and if you're a biology trainee and actually believe in the alpha stuff then I'm absolutely, deeply sorry for your education

    • @eaglestown4609
      @eaglestown4609 2 года назад +17

      @@Teo_live not triggered just surprised that I just found someone that believes in the Chad theory of the top men that get women and all the rest
      Genuinely thought you were joking at first

  • @TigerW0lf
    @TigerW0lf 2 года назад +354

    White Knight: "You betrayed me!"
    Ranger: "I don't even know who you are!"

    • @finnmchugh99
      @finnmchugh99 2 года назад +31

      Also when the Paladin said "Women shouldn't do evil things" that made me smile and I could think of LOTS of female characters that do evil and even some in history.

    • @dragowolfraven3806
      @dragowolfraven3806 2 года назад +18

      Elizabeth Bathory is one such example.

    • @sergioochoa913
      @sergioochoa913 2 года назад +9

      @@dragowolfraven3806 Cersei Lannister, Emperor Nero's Mom and Delilah also come to mind

    • @65firered
      @65firered 2 года назад +2

      @@sergioochoa913 Delilah from Dishonored?

    • @sergioochoa913
      @sergioochoa913 2 года назад +2

      @@65firered Aye

  • @NinjaBoy641
    @NinjaBoy641 2 года назад +226

    Final story: can I just thank the DM for actually having a backbone? Most horror stories have DMs who either ruin their own story or just let the problem players ruin everything. Having a DM tell a problem player "no, you can't" is more refreshing than a glass of water.

    • @WynneL
      @WynneL Год назад +7

      ...in the desert. :)

    • @ashwinnmyburgh9364
      @ashwinnmyburgh9364 11 месяцев назад

      Correction, females. They almost never say "women" or "ladies."

    • @NinjaBoy641
      @NinjaBoy641 11 месяцев назад +5

      @@ashwinnmyburgh9364 what?

  • @ryanbritten6784
    @ryanbritten6784 2 года назад +237

    For the last story, I think that the "in game solution" actually worked. The DM was willing to kick Paladin as soon as Ranger told them she was thinking of leaving. She thought that she was the problem. So seeing Paladin get shut down in game because he was against something her character did that everyone else thought was cool probably helped her accept that she was not the problem player.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад +20

      Yeah, rarely does it feel "solve it out of game rather than in-game" would really change anything with a problem player. Probably a "it's just a game" excuse at most, assuming they don't just lie and say they'll do better.

    • @bretsheeley4034
      @bretsheeley4034 2 года назад +7

      Very good assessment.

    • @gdttdeggegdh5471
      @gdttdeggegdh5471 7 месяцев назад +4

      Yes, the in game solution worked perfectly for its primary intended goal - stopping Ranger from thinking she was the problem and quitting. She could have a fun character development without a Paladin intervention, something she clearly couldn't get before, and this led to a scenario that allows the problem player to rein himself in or clearly demonstrate how much of a problem he is, leading to an easier transition to dealing with said problem OOC.

  • @realrealwarpet
    @realrealwarpet 2 года назад +376

    I made a character who is a princess, and even travels with her hand maiden. She’s a buff warrior type, so people often think her hand maiden is the princess. Despite their personality differences, they’re best friends. The princess even gets a kick out of the mix up and encourages her to play along, cause its funny.

    • @oobtty
      @oobtty 2 года назад +50

      That sounds like a very interesting character dynamic

    • @realrealwarpet
      @realrealwarpet 2 года назад +48

      @@oobtty its one id play one of two ways, depending on the vibe. Either, best friends, or lovers. That romantic age old tale of the wealthy and the peasant getting together, and knowing each other since they were young. Normal fairy tale romance, really. Just with a jacked princess instead of a prince.
      Also, yes, she will occasionally white knight her hand maiden. Especially with rowdy men.

    • @captainkaveman4470
      @captainkaveman4470 2 года назад +33

      You made buff padme and I love it.

    • @realrealwarpet
      @realrealwarpet 2 года назад +23

      @@captainkaveman4470 ironically, she’s based more on luisa from encanto XD

    • @Wendy_O._Koopa
      @Wendy_O._Koopa 2 года назад +13

      @@captainkaveman4470 I was about to say, "Isn't that the plot of *_The Phantom Menace?"_* but not sure if I should because so many people hate that movie... -even though it's gotta be the 4-6th film in the franchise, with each new release putting it in a higher percentile.- So thanks for saying it first!

  • @carlyjs95
    @carlyjs95 2 года назад +35

    My birth mother was like the woman in the first story. She was talking to one of her work friends once while watching my brother chop wood and said the actual words "ugh, if only he wasn't my son" to which her thankfully sane coworker replied "he'd still be like half your age, wtaf?"

    • @thatonewitch
      @thatonewitch Год назад +8

      Hope she was kept away from many ppl, she sounds like a predator/cougar!

    • @Janary08
      @Janary08 9 месяцев назад +1

      Wth

    • @DestinyKiller
      @DestinyKiller Месяц назад

      That's.... still a weird response from her friend.

  • @andreavasquez4355
    @andreavasquez4355 2 года назад +106

    The final story gives me Final Fantasy IX vibes with the proper princess learning from a thief and being overly protected by a knight. If the white knight wasn't a simp, it could have been a cool dynamic.

    • @danielfitzpatrick4873
      @danielfitzpatrick4873 2 года назад +23

      Good catch. And yeah, I'm all for giving your character some traits that make the initial group dynamic a bit complicated, but there's gotta be effort on both sides to develop the characters into a cohesive party. The edgy rogue learns to help and trust others. The lawful stupid paladin learns to accept nuance and be more flexible.

    • @andreavasquez4355
      @andreavasquez4355 2 года назад +9

      @@danielfitzpatrick4873 I agree.

    • @War-criminal654
      @War-criminal654 5 месяцев назад

      @@andreavasquez4355 kouiuuhui is

  • @jones1171
    @jones1171 2 года назад +45

    Not my knight. My wife actually played a character that was a princess from a kingdom that was nearly defunct. Instead of losing her kingdom though she became an adventurer gain the skill she needed to lead her kingdom out of darkness. It was a great arc for her and the first time that she really felt like she understood how to play well in a TTRPG.

  • @jblask2
    @jblask2 2 года назад +166

    The bad guys inspired campaign sounds super fun and I'd totally play it. Naturally leave it to the edgy loser to miss the whole point of it!

    • @RiveroftheWither
      @RiveroftheWither 2 года назад +8

      "But it's not AD&D!"

    • @jblask2
      @jblask2 2 года назад +9

      @@RiveroftheWither "and you're not drizt! "

    • @dragongrazer7620
      @dragongrazer7620 Год назад +5

      Playing as the villains, is pretty fun sometimes 😎
      I once played as a sword master who decapitated slain enemies, and then always started the next fight by throwing the freshly decapitated heads of their comrades at the opponents as a psychological warfare tactics, so the DM allowed for a morale roll and we got winning automatic initiative first round if they failed it. Great fun 😂

    • @nicholasfarrell5981
      @nicholasfarrell5981 Год назад +5

      Yeah, a Suicide Squad inspired party does sound really fun.

  • @randonimity84
    @randonimity84 2 года назад +28

    "Go play in traffic or play the game" is a brilliant retort and I am stealing that.

  • @JaelinBezel
    @JaelinBezel 2 года назад +7

    Crispy: Decides to steal idea of a princess rogue
    Rogue: You are learning well, my student.

  • @willow8186
    @willow8186 2 года назад +40

    "Women shouldn’t do evil things like that.”
    I wonder what that guy thinks women’s prisons are for 🤔 Porn shoots apparently.

    • @luxitos2867
      @luxitos2867 2 года назад

      IRL Serial killer Blood Countess Erzebet Bathory would like a word with him.

  • @darklord884
    @darklord884 2 года назад +33

    First story: "Man, nudes are so last year, send me a fucking pic where you are wearing full plate armour and a helmet!"
    Centorea Shianus: "Hold my carrot juice."

    • @Dressup_Doll
      @Dressup_Doll 2 года назад +1

      I think I’m more afraid of the fact that I know who that is than anything else right now.

    • @schrodingerskatze6487
      @schrodingerskatze6487 2 года назад +2

      @@Dressup_Doll Shhhhshshhhhh... just embrace it. It´ll make things easier.

    • @DFProuctions
      @DFProuctions 2 года назад +2

      Its too bad the armor didn't stay on long. I've read that one. Was funny.

    • @darklord884
      @darklord884 2 года назад +1

      @@Dressup_Doll If you know yet cannot find the joys of being aware of such a fun character, that is your own problem.

    • @darklord884
      @darklord884 2 года назад +1

      @@DFProuctions She does wear it often enough.

  • @Heriarka
    @Heriarka 2 года назад +11

    "An aarakocra who was arrested for trying to fly at first level" audibly lol'd

  • @JacobL228
    @JacobL228 2 года назад +15

    If THAT'S his best opportunity to find a girlfriend, he's in for a sad and lonely life.

  • @marybdrake1472
    @marybdrake1472 2 года назад +44

    Crispy: Are you trying to break some kind of record?
    Well, the currently the tavern record is 50 seconds. I know not when, or how it will be broken, but it is likely to be broken.
    And, freaking yikes. That intro story was something else.

  • @stepgamerdad
    @stepgamerdad 2 года назад +35

    As a (step)dad who GMs for their kid, the first story really made me feel really squicky on so many levels...

    • @DestinyKiller
      @DestinyKiller Месяц назад +1

      Same. We have a family game and just... nope nope nope sooooo much nope

  • @alarkhar
    @alarkhar 2 года назад +52

    About the Drizzt wannabe story... I'm kind of surprised that Drizztoid never heard of the Complete Handbook of Humanoids, a supplement for AD&D that allowed players to play monsters; goblins, trolls, saurials, centaurs, wemics, beastkin et cetera (in my case, an Ogre Magus). It was extra awesome.
    And even without that, various settings had monster races up the wazoo - Dark Sun had the Thri-kreen, Spelljammer had a ton of races including the ponderous Giff and the silly Dohwar, et cetera.
    So, he was just trying to find justifications to be an ass, IMHO.

    • @bradleyhampton15
      @bradleyhampton15 2 года назад +9

      My guess is that he a purist, only AD&D and the books he likes matter. Everything else is a corruption of his baby.

    • @SampoPaalanen
      @SampoPaalanen 2 года назад +6

      @@bradleyhampton15 That or he was just using that as an excuse to be a jerk to others in some weird (IRL) power play.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад +10

      Considering he's a Drizzt fan who discriminates against monster races no differently than others who discriminated against Drow, I doubt he knows or cares about deeper stuff in his interests.

    • @landryhess8673
      @landryhess8673 2 года назад +1

      it's possible that the book was not published in france, ( i'm french but didn't play D&D during the days of AD&D ) lot of books are only published in english ( for exemple rime of the frostmaiden is not translate in french)

    • @alarkhar
      @alarkhar 2 года назад +3

      @@landryhess8673 It wasn't published in Italy either (I'm italian) but it still has a place of honor in my collection, y'know...

  • @DrPluton
    @DrPluton 2 года назад +5

    That last story gave me a way to spice up my ranger character concept. I really like the idea of a stray heir to a fallen kingdom just trying to survive.

  • @ericsmith1508
    @ericsmith1508 2 года назад +21

    Story about the person DMimg at a bar with the child eaters: I'm completely confused about why these amazing friends who love playing together can ONLY meet at this bar? And why OP can't refuse to DM for bar patrons. Just because they are "paying customers"? Are OP and his friends just sitting in a bar buying no drinks? No food or snacks (if it is a bar that serves such)? Are they not also "paying customers"? I either missed something super important or OP didn't explain the full context very well as to why they HAVE to meet at that bar and why they HAVE to run games for the bar's "paying customers", if they want to be allowed to play games at the bar?

    • @rhunter42dragon
      @rhunter42dragon 2 года назад +4

      Yeah, I didn't follow that one either.

  • @Doctor_Sirus
    @Doctor_Sirus Год назад +2

    I like the idea of a princess getting herself dirty and living the life of a thief, and I'm glad the characters had a happy ending. It feels remarkably heartwarming and sweet, and I am a sucker for that.

  • @oliviabean8264
    @oliviabean8264 2 года назад +6

    ... damn your right. We've seen worse stories sure but none where so dense with horribleness and concise enough to put into an intro. The sheer emotional damage per word is truly impressive.

  • @r.alexandercorbitt1554
    @r.alexandercorbitt1554 2 года назад +52

    Intro: Uh... Ew. That's really all there is to say on the matter.
    Story 1: Wow, some people just don't know how to take no for an answer.
    Story 2: Ah, the older edition loyalist in its natural habitat. I must admit, the op dealt with the whole situation very well, in a very constructive way.
    Story 3: Wow. Just wow. A Main Character, a sleaze, a cannibal and whatever that ranger was trying to do all rolled into one campaign. Just. Wow.
    Story 4: Wow, lawful stupid *and* an incel? Two That Guys for the price of one!
    I don't normally do this style of comment, but since I'm early I thought I might as well.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад

      Feels like most incels are lawful stupid "nice guys" in these stories.

  • @xJadeWolfxx
    @xJadeWolfxx 2 года назад +5

    The energy from Crispy at the end of the video "I love it and I am totally stealing it" is such DM energy. Husband and I do that all the time in our game.

  • @alexanderrahl7034
    @alexanderrahl7034 2 года назад +2

    "Primp and proper princess learning a life of stealing from the dashing rogue"
    Final Fantasy 9: 👀

  • @tylerwashington5625
    @tylerwashington5625 2 года назад +12

    I’m late to commenting on this, but the first story involving the mask makes me angry in a certain way, because even if the mask was a source of trauma, immediately taking away that aspect of them would absolutely possibly trigger an extreme reaction and get said person to despise the one who took it away even more. Absolutely not a good way to get away someone’s comfort item if you wanted to “fix” them so bad

  • @Vipre-
    @Vipre- 2 года назад +20

    I love AD&D, a lot of it has to do with growing up during the height of its popularity, seeing supplements everywhere as a kid, those being the first books I was ever able to buy, and my first video game introductions being in that system.

  • @MrWD-tp7oc
    @MrWD-tp7oc 2 года назад +20

    Been a while since we've had a simp story. Kind of hyped

  • @BaoHadir
    @BaoHadir 2 года назад +5

    I'm just glad my players like MY DMPC in my homebrew. She was added to round out the party, and her role as a sniper means she's generally used to being quiet and unobserved, so she rarely winds up in the spotlight. But she can also scrap with the best of them and she's generally friendly, so the party treats her like a kid sister.

  • @akun50
    @akun50 2 года назад +14

    The last story, I'm pretty sure Paladin went on to be one of those guys who flaunts their supposed 'knowledge of the female anatomy' and failed horribly whilst doing so.

  • @officescrub4932
    @officescrub4932 2 года назад +8

    The Warden idea is cool. Like Mandelorians in D&D 😊

    • @77Zenin77
      @77Zenin77 2 года назад +2

      Or Wardens from For Honor

  • @flexiblenerd
    @flexiblenerd 2 года назад +12

    Not for D&D, but I had a character once who literally kept her face covered because she had horrific scarring and burn marks all over her face. She was an assassin, had been trained as such by her mentor - a man who'd taken her in as a child and treated her as a student, not a daughter, and made sure she understood this; there was a deep bond between the two despite this that was not unlike a father-daughter relationship, but I think it was more than he was afraid to become too attached and lose her than anything else, looking back on it. There was also the matter of protecting herself by keeping her face covered due to her being an assassin, but this was a secondary benefit. At one point, she had her coverings ripped off and basically went full-panic lockdown mode. I never did get to develop her further, sadly, but basically the covering of her face had become her identity; much like Rorschach (who I didn't know existed at the time - I discovered him much later), once her mask was ripped away, so was a large chunk of her identity, and she didn't know how to deal with that. She was cold and aloof by necessity, knew basically no one, and was basically considered a bitch by others. It's one of those characters where there's a lot more to her and she just doesn't know how to act like others, basically lost all empathy after her mentor died, etc. Sadly, she never got the chance to develop further, like I said; but I think if she had, she would have benefitted from someone like Jester (to use your example) in her life trying to help her.
    Also, I kinda like the idea of a party level, actually.
    And yeah, I like Drizzt as well, but...this guy was just a dick. And the Drizzt clones were a thing done so often, sadly, that it became a running joke. Even Matt Mercer mentioned it in one of his dm tips vids, so clearly he remembers that shit as well. I mean, it's one thing to have a character based on a character, and I've done that a few times, but a straight rip? Kthxbai. But yeah. This guy was one of those rare purists that need to stick with his own clique.
    As to the bar group...smh. Violently. I definitely sympathize for the dm here. Holy shnikez. I've made & played some pretty horrific characters in the past, but they were either (1) fitted to the setting or (2) made for shock value and not played that often. Sounds like these guys were probably the kind of people that would legit join cannibal cults irl because they were bored with their ouija board.
    And finally, I know you mentioned it as well, but this is yet more proof that DND IS NOT THE BEST PLACE TO PICK UP A DATE. Especially someone who just went through a break-up (I know how traumatizing that can be).

  • @tuomasronnberg5244
    @tuomasronnberg5244 2 года назад +3

    I don't understand why no-one ever argues that the punishment has to be proprtionate to the crime. Kiling a thief isn't justice, it's just murder.

  • @dillanschmidt7459
    @dillanschmidt7459 2 года назад +34

    I accidentally made a 'Drizzt' ripoff but everyone loved him. His story was simple, he left Drow society because it sucked and wanted to explore the world. I made him a fighter and gave him the personality of Kamina from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann.

  • @Magnet_Chaos
    @Magnet_Chaos 2 года назад +1

    I can confirm. Few things are more attractive than a full set of armor. In fact. The more armored the better.

  • @silverbullet7691
    @silverbullet7691 2 года назад +5

    Imagine a Minotaur that got arrested for buying a suspicious amount of fine china , thinking he stole it all. Turns out he’s a fine china connoisseur

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад +2

      That makes me think of a Minotaur framed for destroying fine china (basically a family guy bit with an anthropomorphic bull).
      Also reminds me of my first DnD character idea: a Fire Genasi artist accused of serial arson (just a series of accidents).

    • @silverbullet7691
      @silverbullet7691 2 года назад +1

      @@ArcCaravan I love the idea of the vandal, clearly guilty as he’s covered in bits of shattered porcelain and a bat behind his back being investigated just pointing to the Minotaur minding his own business. “That’s your guy.”

    • @epsilon-eleven
      @epsilon-eleven 2 года назад

      A bull in a china shop, one might say

  • @cosmicspacething3474
    @cosmicspacething3474 2 года назад +13

    9:17 “Racism is bad”
    *almost immediately continues to complain about races that they don’t like

  • @Typhoon.703_
    @Typhoon.703_ 2 года назад +7

    My "order spy" rouge also hides his face because of the customs of his order, like Cassandra does.
    They do it mostly to hide facial expressions during combat and to inspire them to be recognized by their deeds.
    but also for more symbolic reasons, that being to dehumanize themselves. As my character puts it;
    "When you fight one of us, you are not fighting a person. You are fighting the verdict of your crimes made manifest."
    I just wanted to share the lore reason of why my character is faceless, dunno, feel free to add your own in the replies

    • @Typhoon.703_
      @Typhoon.703_ 6 месяцев назад

      @@TowerArcanaCrow feel free to do so!

  • @gimpcowking
    @gimpcowking 2 года назад +10

    "my /mom/ says im handsome!"
    oooookay buddy

    • @Vipre-
      @Vipre- 2 года назад +2

      I read your comment and an image of a future reddit post titled "My mom wants to call me Daddy..." popped into my head.

    • @miguelcondadoolivar5149
      @miguelcondadoolivar5149 2 года назад +2

      @@Vipre- You didn't have to share it... But I'll have to live with the fact that you did.

  • @sirhcselwob8911
    @sirhcselwob8911 Год назад

    "justice never sleeps" sounds like someone is going to die from exhaustion

  • @lockwoan01
    @lockwoan01 2 года назад +5

    When it came to looking for players for a group, my older brother wanted to try, because he is my driver. However, he didn't know how to play.
    So, I gave him a quick scenario - no dice rolls, just reactions. I gave him one rule - treat the NPCs as if they were real people.
    Scenario - his character is walking along a trail, decently armed, and he encounters an orc woodsperson chopping down a tree.
    Brother: I keep walking.
    Me: The orc notices you, tells you to halt, saying that you can't go that way.
    Brother: I ask him, "Why not?"
    Me: The orc says, "There's a temple sacred to those of the Blackrock tribe down there. Outsiders aren't allowed near it."
    Brother: I ask, "Is there an alternative path?"
    Me: The orc states that there is, and offers to escort you.
    I then looked at him and said, "I'm surprised that you didn't try to attack him."
    Brother: He wasn't being aggressive, so I saw no point to do so. If he attacked me though, different story.
    He would later play as a Ranger who, despite having Goblinoids as a Favored Enemy, managed to make encounters with them into social ones, because he knew their language. Of course, the human bandit trying to go, "Your Money or Your Life" found out that he could still swing a sword at them.

  • @ppenmudera4687
    @ppenmudera4687 Год назад +1

    16:09 "The DM will decide that" OP: "I AM the DM"

  • @xanderlewell
    @xanderlewell 2 года назад +4

    0:58 "...Flirt with her own barely legal son..." Oh hey, ive heard this plot before!

  • @DruidOneTrickDnD
    @DruidOneTrickDnD 2 года назад +1

    For the second story, interactions like this are exactly why I'm a proponent of coming together with your group at session 0 and discussing character goals and even interactions beforehand, especially if you're planning on playing a polarizing character.
    In one campaign that i was preparing to play, we did exactly that. We were meeting together for the first time and some of us had never played a game together. One person wanted to play an evil character, so talking together was crucial. We created our characters together, we discussed our character's goals and our goals for the character as players. We shared their backstories. We connected our backstories to each other. There were absolutely no surprises by session 1. That way out of game altercations could be avoided. This approach may not work for everyone, but its still as valid as any other, with its own pros and cons.
    In my opinion if you've gotten to the point where players are ready to attack each other in game, it'll almost certainly affect people out of game too, unless everyone has already agreed that PvP at the table is completely acceptable.

  • @Tytoalba777
    @Tytoalba777 2 года назад +3

    Man, your videos just keep getting longer and longer. Here soon, a normal episode is going to be about as long as a "mega-episode" from early last year.
    This sparks joy.

  • @tsifirakiehl4250
    @tsifirakiehl4250 2 года назад +18

    Intro story: 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮
    First story: Kat, no. You don’t play D&D to “fix” another PC. The other player made their character the way they did for a reason. You wouldn’t like it if Cassandra’s player insisted on having Cassandra constantly try to change Issy’s traditions and fundamental character traits even after repeatedly being asked to stop, so you shouldn’t have Issy do that to Cassandra. It’s called the Golden Rule.
    Second story: I hope Drizzt Wannabe didn’t find a group. No one deserves to be stuck with an elitist prick like him.
    Third story: I will never understand how anyone thinks it’s acceptable to pull shit like this, especially in public. Poor, poor OP.
    Fourth story: We love a happy ending! I agree there were some things that could have been handled better, but overall, the party did a great job at dealing with Paladin. If you give the problem player another chance and they still refuse to improve, kicking them is the absolute right call.

  • @joshuawiener5003
    @joshuawiener5003 2 года назад +4

    Tbh I always thought that being a white knight was like being a holy warrior when I was a kid. How that meaning has changed.

  • @zaniatnik
    @zaniatnik 2 года назад +1

    You know, as horrible as "The worst of randoms" are, I wheezed at "Save me a drumstick!". Dark comedy gold.

  • @skullkurr5724
    @skullkurr5724 2 года назад +3

    "She was a ''Warden''."
    little sus but alright
    "Independent order of Knights."
    very familiar, i'll let it slide though
    "This order had fallen apart over 20 years ago."
    Ok, this person plays For Honor.

  • @annahs.channel
    @annahs.channel 2 года назад +2

    Honestly even the Palladian part of that last story could have Ben so cool if done right. As in with the princess’s permission. A Palladian learning that they have to let go of a person they’ve been taught all their life to protect?

  • @mentalrebllion1270
    @mentalrebllion1270 2 года назад +2

    Stories like this make me appreciate the online group I play with so much. Really nice and welcoming and play well together. I myself play a ranger drow though I went for the, probably no surprise, gloomstalker subclass. I took a single level of rogue to increase my perception because a nat 1 I rolled traumatized me (it was my first game and I created my character around having a high perception so they could give the group the best advantage). It wasn’t until later that I discovered that drizzt was such a thing. I was introduced to the character during session 0 when I introduced what type of character I wanted to play. Truly, I was torn between playing a drow or an owlin and finally opted for drow because it fit the story I wanted to tell for the backstory better. Also thought it would be fun to mess with the disadvantages that come with it during daylight (though the setting means that isn’t too often since daylight isn’t long in the arctic). Anyway, really just happy I met the group I met and I love it and stories like this remind me how much I appreciate how lucky I am.

  • @lordinquisitor6233
    @lordinquisitor6233 2 года назад +3

    The funny thing about the first story is that I had a paladin idea that was exactly the same as the one in the story, right down to the name, covered in armour all the time and organisation concept. Sadly I never got to fully use it myself but might consider trying that again sometime.

    • @andrejg4136
      @andrejg4136 2 года назад +1

      The fact that they played a female fighter also reminded me of the female Saints from Saint Seiya. Though their gimmick was they were to remain masked while in active duty, and were honor-bound to marry the first man who saw their true face.
      Yeah it's an 80s shounen manga/anime, I would be all day with the implications of such.

  • @Kasino80
    @Kasino80 Год назад +2

    I've been watching these videos the last couple of days, and I'm amazed and horrified about how people can justify their behavior towards other people.

  • @CrowePerch
    @CrowePerch 2 года назад +3

    9:16 i find it funny that this Drizzt wannabe claims they should be playing “normal” races cause old school DnD didn’t allow monster races, when Elves used to be considered so different in Old School they had their own classes separate from humans.
    Dunce Do’Urden over here might have played old DnD, but he sure as hell never read it.

  • @deucebeast20
    @deucebeast20 2 года назад +1

    "We are one...minute...into the video."
    Me: "You did this to you."

  • @thecreepoid901
    @thecreepoid901 2 года назад +1

    I love how you tried to finish the intro story as fast as possible after... the reveal

  • @finnmchugh99
    @finnmchugh99 2 года назад +5

    When listening to the intro story I could help but think of a bard mockingly singing with a hint of vicious mockery
    *SWEET HOME ALABAMA!*

  • @Jean-Luc_Renard
    @Jean-Luc_Renard 6 месяцев назад

    Justice never sleeps, but its agents should. Heroes can't uphold the law when they can barely uphold their own eylids.

  • @kenjincapers
    @kenjincapers 2 года назад +2

    27:44 no what have you done the prim and proper tavernkeeper OP? He's become a rogue now too! Just kidding around a bit if OP reads this glad you don't have to deal with that Paladin anymore. If Krispy reads this thanks for the stories and can confirm relationships that start from unsolicited in character courting are not a good idea. Good on ranger for knowing better I wish I had when I had something a bit similar happen.

  • @lockwoan01
    @lockwoan01 2 года назад +1

    Paladin Story -
    I played as a Yuan-Ti Pureblood Paladin, with a Criminal Background. Granted, the campaign didn't last long, maybe a few sessions before things stopped, and it was in a location where one needed a Morally Grey personality - not necessarily Good, but not Evil, and certainly not Lawful - my guy was basically Hired Muscle for a bunch of squishy spellcasters. Probably wouldn't stop a thief, unless there was a good reason to do so.

  • @ArcCaravan
    @ArcCaravan 2 года назад +6

    Intro was honestly likely the creepiest I've seen on tabletop horror stories (though not the most despicable)
    First story almost feels like a female white knight thinking they're doing good, but I'm probably overthinking things.
    Second story honestly feels like an example of what lowers my interest in other tabletop systems: introducing them feels like an excuse to bash other systems.
    Third story almost feels like a horror story all-stars followed by the sad consequences of problem players in general.
    Last story (as at least one other commentor noted) is like FFIX, but the knight doesn't grow better.
    PS: THIEF! That was my first thought at Crispy saying he wants to use the last story for himself.

  • @schwarzerritter5724
    @schwarzerritter5724 2 года назад +1

    We had a cannibal in a game I played too.
    A Reborn Water Genasi who would often eat people we killed. This was actually the DMs idea. Also the Reborn would use the mist constantly surrounded the Fairy Barbarian as seasoning.

  • @darwinjones2059
    @darwinjones2059 2 года назад

    Acknowledging and upholding the validity of heathen monarchies? **NOT MY KNIGHT!**

  • @alphons1456o
    @alphons1456o 2 месяца назад

    I've listened to that story about Cassandra and her knight order, and now I wanna make a character like that.

  • @Obstreperous_Octopus
    @Obstreperous_Octopus Год назад +4

    I can almost (ALMOST) sympathize with Paladin in that last story, because I'm also single and due to severe social anxiety, shyness, and self-doubt, any sort of relationship stuff is extremely difficult for me to even approach. And it can be very tough to be in that situation. I get it, I truly do. HOWEVER, trying to coerce someone into a relationship with you though a game is NOT the answer. What is the answer? I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't be in the situation I'm in. But what I CAN say is that you have to take a hint! If your pompous self-righteousness and snarky guilt tripping aren't working, it's probably because NOBODY LIKES THAT! He's not interested in being someone a girl would want to be with. He just wants to wave a big flag that says "GOOD GUY" on it (without making the effort to actually BE good) and expect women to just flock to him. I can't stand fake nice guys! Being a ""white knight"" is not inherently likable, especially when any moral fiber of your personality is just a paper-thin coating with no substance. He needs to grow up, be better, and learn to understand other people's feelings.

  • @gabrielmajere8852
    @gabrielmajere8852 2 года назад +4

    I played AD&D. There were rules for playing "monsters."

  • @kcollier2192
    @kcollier2192 2 года назад +5

    never flirt in games folks. instead, use the game to start a conversation with the person you have an interest in and- if you're cool, clever and sincere, you might- MIGHT- draw their interest.

    • @epsilon-eleven
      @epsilon-eleven 2 года назад +1

      @@BlueTressym Worked for me a few times! Including the time I met my now-spouse!

  • @cosmicspacething3474
    @cosmicspacething3474 2 года назад +1

    18:40 why does this sound eerily like the party I’m currently in but without the paladin?

  • @markwendt3496
    @markwendt3496 2 года назад +2

    A note related to the last story (more specifically Crispy's comment afterwards). The "princess learning from the rogue" thing sounds an awful lot like Final Fantasy 9 (Zidane and Dagger).
    I'm sure there are other references, but that's the one I thought of first.

    • @emilystewart6175
      @emilystewart6175 Год назад +1

      This actually made me realise that if the Paladin had played his role more like Steiner in FF9 the campaign would have worked better (with how Steiner constantly despairs at Dagger taking more influence from Zidane but eventually coming to be chill with it and develop more as his own character). But then that would have required the original Paladin to be aware and also not an incel.

    • @markwendt3496
      @markwendt3496 Год назад

      @@emilystewart6175 ah, yes. One of the few times when the words "incel" and "aware" can be used in the same sentence lol

  • @lawrencelopez9839
    @lawrencelopez9839 2 года назад +2

    lol. If my parents were pampering and well, being a parent in front of my friends and acquaintances I'd be so embarrassed.

  • @rogofos
    @rogofos 2 года назад +10

    "she found my character attractive despite not seeing her"
    a lot of people are attracted to things other than looks if you didn't know

  • @josephmatthews7698
    @josephmatthews7698 2 года назад +1

    The Drizzt ripoff became so common at the jump in store me and my friends created an entire nation of them.
    We took all Drizzt ripoffs and gave them historical moments in the nation and now we have a dark elf nation, one of the cooler neutral good countries that always gets the most questions from new players.
    Especially how it's monarchy and culture works with an orb that contains the souls of all previous leaders and it chooses the next leader every 20 years. To bind your soul inside the orb you have to build a big pyramid so the nation is very reminiscent of ancient Egypt.

  • @spoonyluv19
    @spoonyluv19 2 года назад +2

    Princess breaking bad is a great trope. Going to steal that as well

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад

      I don't think playing Robin Hood counts as breaking bad. Definitely chaotic good, though.

  • @firstswordcorvus7368
    @firstswordcorvus7368 2 года назад +13

    Mask story reminds me of Nier Gestalt where there's an entire society that wears masks and the reason for not taking them off is because to them it's the same as being naked and should only be done around their significant other

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад +1

      I remember a similar story in FFXIV.

    • @midnights2631
      @midnights2631 Год назад

      I've seen a animation that has a similar thing, it's really interesting

  • @Xokoy
    @Xokoy 2 года назад

    I actually made a google form questionnaire as part of the application process to join my game, especially since there are a lot of dark themes that we include in those games and we don't really treat that stuff all that seriously. We have fun, everyone enjoys that kind of atmosphere and having someone who isn't a good fit for the group come in and try to take that away isn't something that anyone would enjoy. Especially since there seems to be a lot of people out there who don't seem to understand that concept of it not being a personal attack against someone when you tell them that they're not a good fit for your group.

  • @ngreene9199
    @ngreene9199 2 года назад

    "Aarakocra arrested for flying at level 1" fkin sent me

  • @crutchy
    @crutchy 2 года назад

    You had me at the pun appreciating gnoll!

  • @MichaelHaneline
    @MichaelHaneline 2 года назад

    On the subject of vetting, I once had my local FLGS manager (long since out of business now) tell me I wasn't allowed to post game ads anymore if I planned on turning anyone away, because someone had complained to him that I had turned them away after our initial phone interview. Like, what? I'm not required to accept every interested person into my games.

  • @benjaminehren7965
    @benjaminehren7965 2 года назад +2

    shoutout to the dm in the last story, knew how to say no

  • @dieterhinzmann5559
    @dieterhinzmann5559 2 года назад +1

    everytime i hear such horror stories concerning paladins i wanna cry! 😭
    please anyone... are there any stories about decent paladins out there?
    but thanks for your stories here! makes me realise how incredibly lucky i am with my players now and my old dm! 🥳

    • @Typhoon.703_
      @Typhoon.703_ 2 года назад

      man... I just want to a walking fortress with a hammer screaming prayers while bonking some dudes... why do they go around giving us such bad rep with shit like that :C

  • @oakenshadow6763
    @oakenshadow6763 Год назад +1

    Trying to take the helmet off against Cassaundra's will is an attack. Of cource Cass would hit Issy.

  • @petergreening1334
    @petergreening1334 2 года назад

    the intro story sounded more like a Jocasta complex than an Oedipus complex

  • @Stephanie568
    @Stephanie568 Год назад

    That intro...whoo boy that intro. I will never be unable to see or hear that.

  • @jennbigelow7915
    @jennbigelow7915 2 года назад

    That paladin, Princess and rogue story has me going through FFIX flashbacks.

  • @fallingheadphones
    @fallingheadphones 2 года назад

    Commenting a bit more on “This is the Way”, we also have a character in our party who acts very similarly, wearing a mask and only taking it off to eat and such. It’s a really cool/interesting part of his character and backstory! I guess I don’t have too much to add, it just reminded me of him and how cool his character arc will be when we get to it

  • @Hexium_Vexium
    @Hexium_Vexium 2 года назад

    I've RP'd with people before who were like 'the helmet stays on'. My interactions with it ranged from 'is there any way I can convince you otherwise? no? alright then, that's fine' to having my character playfully try - and purposefully fail - to get said helmet off. If it's part of the character's identity and one of their quirks, it's best to either honor and accept it... or get playful about purposefully failing.

  • @Nyx685
    @Nyx685 2 года назад +4

    Hell yeah a crispy update 👌

  • @LunDruid
    @LunDruid 2 года назад +1

    Second story: Like... 5e is flexible enough that I'm pretty sure it's entirely possible to use it to run an old-school, AD&D style game.

  • @themetroman7359
    @themetroman7359 2 года назад +7

    I clicked on the video for a white knight story not whatever that first story was

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад

      The incestuous intro or the cleric trying to help by denying someone their tradition?

  • @luxitos2867
    @luxitos2867 2 года назад

    The first story made me make a loud gagging/choking sound that my roommate actually came to check on me. Swear to God.

  • @babybeater2344
    @babybeater2344 2 года назад +4

    rat with the swag

  • @ratboy2
    @ratboy2 2 года назад

    I want to comment on the “helmet thing.” If Cassandra wore that helmet for trauma or anxiety reasons, it’d almost suck worse? In any case, Kat decided it was a problem and continuously roleplayed her character breaking this other character’s boundaries despite numerous requests to knock it off. Not only that, but “Issy” kept trying to do this in crowded public places despite Cassandra being very obviously uncomfortable showing her face due to this tradition. Kat’s freakout bc of it seems super immature as well 💀
    couldn’t separate the player from the character ig

  • @TavisTrivett
    @TavisTrivett 2 года назад

    Sarcastic Dumbledore sounds amazing.

  • @lemonfox8052
    @lemonfox8052 2 года назад +1

    Ouuuh first story after the Intro one with Cassandra and Issy, trying to see and fix a problem when there is no problem to fix.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад

      Yeah, it felt like the cleric was treating harmless tradition as a problem to be solved.

    • @ArcCaravan
      @ArcCaravan 2 года назад

      @@BlueTressym Also a possibility. Curious if she tried similarly with other party members or why she didn't. All we got is possibly fetishizing the warden.

  • @AceofHearth
    @AceofHearth 2 года назад

    In the first story, the son must had broken both of his arms at one point.

  • @SageDarkwind
    @SageDarkwind Месяц назад

    Last Story: "Don't use in-game solutions for out-of-game problems." Unfortunately, the Paladin player wouldn't listen to reason.

  • @ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos
    @ms.aelanwyr.ilaicos 2 года назад

    I really like the helm thing, shame the other player didn't get what was happening. There's a lot of room for genuinely compelling role-play in that dynamic.
    Also, the Comedy Creature Crew had some stellar backstories. The Lizardfolk one is so absurdly plausible that it's physically painful 😂😭