"Op shouldn't roll damage, her breasts would cushion the fall"... Okay, since we're using middle school logic, that means every male npc we encounter can be insta-killed by drop-kicking them in the balls and thus combat encounters are easy now!
Every male character has to have especial protection in the balls or they die Also now they can’t stab females in the chest bc breast wouldn’t take the damage
@@dantefarge3369 I would personally make that his character's weakness and his only, just to get the point across--well, except that he's a literal kid. Nobody is as impossible to convince of anything as someone in the golden range of 16-19 years old, because they're sure they've got everything figured out.
@@animeotaku307 Come now, I may have never been through middle school but if what I've heard from people who have; It's the perfect breeding grounds for smart asses who think they know better than what's written in a book or facts.
Ok, but is anyone else impressed by the seamless voice change from “Normal person” to “Whiny Toxic Incel?” In the first story? That’s some skill right there!
That Neckbeard in the poetry story is awful, but holy crap what is with the DM in that campaign? Just letting Neckbeard treat persuasion as mind control? Giving the party a bizarre revive/possession potion that could completely wreck a player's agency? And apparently just allowing neckbeard to use a character as a slave? DM's either spineless or creepy in their own right.
Don't know could have been some one New to DMing. Now while I agree the dm should have put a stop to it and not given out given out an item like that if they were new they may not have been confident enough or knew they could step in. The other players should have stepped in as well when they noticed the DM not stepping in.
Players in my game can never use persuasion on another player they have to roll play things like that and then it's up to the other player not die rolls
@@judgedredd2039 still kinda weird. How spineless do you have to be to just accept mind control and r*pe? I’ve never played d&d yet I know (or at least hope) I would never allow anything even remotely similar to that.
I remember my character that was racist towards Fey specifically. Pathfinder first edition. Blighted Myrmidon Antipaladin. As part of his backstory he went down the path of seeking the destruction of nature because of a series of increasingly annoying Fey pranks. First they took his left socks. Then they curdled his milk. The last straw in a long line of straws involved a Fey sneaking up behind him and asking "May I have your name". Like any normal human his response was "Of course" only to be followed by his name. He couldn't utter it. The party was introduced to the Antipaladin with no name. Gnome: "What's your name?" Antipaladin: "I DON'T KNOW!"
I did the "May I have your name" trick with a player before lol after he gave it, everyone forgot his name and heard what sounded like static every time they tried to remember it.
You got it wrong, that problem player said, "What do I roll to rollplay?" Seriously, I'm glad that the storyteller of the group I played with before moving cities had always made sure we, as a group, understood we were playing role playing games and not roll playing games.
Tbh as a newbie I thought I had to roll something too lol. I thought I sort of just sit back and rp happens?? To be fair my DM ran a module but without discussing the module with us, my character had no backstory and therefore no personality.
@@ECSDaemon I'd buy that if it was coming from a new player, but this guy had supposedly been playing games like this for a decade. No way he didn't know what was meant in that context.
Also persuasion on other PCs, but god whatever that magic item supposedly was doesn't need to exist and *definitely* shouldn't be allowed on other players. Absolutely bs.
Nothing stops the ranger from popping a few arrows into them. Their actions showed it was okay to hit party members, so no holds barred I'd have shot multiple arrows into the raving beast with no control. But I'd let him live the first time. The second, he'd stay down.
"We don't know she can be trusted!" ... This coming from the guy who has been mercilessly trying to kill a party member because he had a tantrum when he was called out on his shitty behavior via sonnet. And when he takes the op character and does... THAT... Time to pull a Leonidas straight from 300.
What actually bugs me most about the last story is the idea to _slit the sleeping guards' throats_ during a stealthy burglary. Apart from causing needless harm to people doing the least threatening part of their job - keeping themselves well-rested for their next shift - it's such an unnecessary way to paint a huge target on the player group's back. If a treasure map and a couple of other valuables go missing the person previously in possession of those items will probably start looking for a thief, ideally without much to go on. But if whole barracks' worth of guards are found with their throats slit _everybody_ starts looking for a death cult or similar group of deranged murderers, and everybody new to the region will be on top of their list of suspects with nobody in their right mind willing to grant them cover. If I was game-mastering for that group they'd know they screwed up and what exactly the screw-up was sooner rather than later.
@@emberfist8347 When your position is that you'd rather turn a burglary into a mass murder just in case the rogue stepping on a rustling sheet of paper somewhere might wake up the sleeping guards in the barracks I am pretty sure I can dismiss your idea of fairness.
@@emberfist8347 One bad roll _in the barracks_ while _murdering people._ Spot the mistake! Fat load of good that psychopathic murder spree did for them.
@@shizanketsuga8696 If everything really can go sideways because of a bad dice roll. you best believe I'm making Sure there are no guards to fight just in case
"So, um. I may have submitted a poem about how this attitude is garbage. In sonnet form. Looking back, I think he may have taken offence." Beautifully written by OP, beautifully delivered by Crispy!
On the story featuring "Neckbeard" as the problem player, the DM is a huge part of the problem by allowing Neckbeard to ruin the game - it should not have been difficult to put a stop to this. I would think that the DM could simply have ruled that Neckbeard's actions were not going to happen, and if Neckbeard whined about this, he should have been removed from the game. The OP made the right move here - leave the game and waste no more time with these idiots, as it was obvious that the DM was going to side with the jerk.
This is also why you should never allow CHA based skills (Persuasion in this case) to be used against other players. Neckbeard never should have been able to force their healer not to heal a party member, that takes away player agency.
@@GBArkais ses like he was all about taking everyone's agency while relishing in his own. And the dm let that happen. Bad player, bad dm, everyone should have up and left.
Actualy dan i think their another way make it the player beibg persuadeds choice what the dc and their action after as persuation os t really like aome sort magic save they should have to actualy convince the pc. And inturn the player
I love when he reads a story and realizes that OP is the bad guy. Instead of just starting over like a lot of others would, he keeps reading and changes his voice which makes this feel far more immersive.
I am frequently the only woman in my RP groups. I can get all the romance I want IRL from my husband, but I'm not going to get any cars being ramped off each other and flipped at high speed until my sons get their learner's permits, so...anyone who attempts to start a romantic subplot and take up my Designated Explosions Time will get beaten with a sockful of dice. (No, not really with the violence, but I would like for people to respect my unfulfilled need for fiery destruction.)
I liked in the intro how you slowly turned from your "normal" storytelling voice to your "Toxic" Voice. Pretty much mirrored my feelings as the tone of the post shifted as you read it. SEDUCTION
If you could "accidentally graze" to death others AFTER your turn is taken up then I would like to "accidentally graze" all the NPC baddies on every turn to make two attacks instead of one.... No? I can't do that? Then WTF is going on here?!
"I drop my weapon and raise my hands in surrender" is probably all the tolerant DM needed to hear from Mitch, but "I jam my knife into my throat in a final act of sudoku" was equally brilliant. iT's wHaT HiS cHaRaCtEr wOuLd dO.
*Seppuku Sudoku is the game my dad likes to play to keep his mind sharp. It's one square divided into nine squares further divided into nine squares. You place the numbers 1-9 into the grid in such a fashion that the numbers do not repeat... XD
Story 1 - Obvious bait post is obvious but seriously, I am a girl and I love the horror settings so… Story 2 - Neckbeard creep and pushover DM is a terrible combination.
that first story with the neckbeard jackass who kept attacking the new player is precisely why I do not allow PvP or even "accidental" PvP in my campaigns unless everyone involved is OK with it.
The DM should’ve put a stop to it the moment Neckbeard started rolling persuasion to stop Druid from healing. And kicked him when he turned OP’s character into his slave.
Yeah, you can ask the player if they accept the [whatever] from the other player. If they don't then it doesn't happen in game. Same with buffing and healing. Good interactions would be opt out, bad interactions would be opt in.
The whole 'roll to role play' thing does bring up one of my pet peeves It annoys me when a DM modifies any kind of social roll based on how persuasive the player is IRL, I'm not a good speaker. I stammer. I stumble over words. I have to pause to think of something clever to say My high charisma characters are not like that. They have strong, confident voices and always have a lie or argument ready to go, but the DM will have me roll with disadvantage beacause the meat sack controlling them took three attempts to say, "The sargeant's looking for you! Better make yourself scarce!", to a group of lazy guards without stammering This makes about as much sense to me as penalizing my combat rolls because I've never used a sword in my life That said, they should have should at least have made some effort
You shouldn't be penalized for stammering if you play high charisma characters, if you are, leave the game group immediately. If you say what your intention is, then the gm can work with it. That said. Mitch was given every opportunity to actually talk himself out of getting killed or surrender and plan to escape. As well as the fact his grand heist plan after a week of bitching and moaning was, from what we've seen is: jump the wall, kill the guards, it tells me he doesn't care about anything or can't engage in anything beyond combat. It's not a problem in combat heavy games, but if your game of d&d/d20 is roleplay heavy or the system your playing decentivizes combat by making it actually brutal and unforgiving. Then you'll get really frustrated by the game.
I’m sorry your DM rules that way. If you have the spirit, your stutter shouldn’t matter. Talk to them and explain your feelings - if they ignore or belittle you for it, look for a different group to play in. You don’t deserve to be punished for sth you can’t control. Best luck to you 🍀
I have to agree with the other commenters, that's pretty ableist and the DM should be talked to aside and have their AH behaviour pointed out. The DM should be taking the spirit of what you're saying, appreciating your IRL difficulty and bridging the gap into the game. This should be the case for people with social anxiety as well. The only penalty the DM should be sustaining on a player is due to a lack of engagement or creativity (like in that last game). They shouldn't have to spoonfeed their players on their own actions unless it's a mystery or they're playing with little kids. This is plainly awful. It's an imagination game; if there's no penalties on your character sheet, or on your target, what gives?
One of life's lessons you discover as you get older. If it happens once, it's on them. If it becomes a trend, it's on you. I don't blame the DM for trying once with these guys. Not booting and killing off their characters seems like a mood though.
The coloring book one is so disappointing. The problem players will never learn anything if the DMs are always too cowardly to directly kick them out and let them know it's their fault.
It reminds me of when a DM got angry at the players for "not playing properly" cause we were messing around in Roll20... except the session was like 10 minutes away and the DM was still getting ready I don't recall if there actually was a session
"Alright. You're surrounded by guards, but you can still get out of this." Mitch: "Guess I'll die and roll up the same character." Just... why? 10 years of experience for that? Oh well. Good video, as always. Thatnk you for making me smile in this late night.
This is how my brother is over everything. He fails at one thing, is instantly giving up and saying, "Well I just die then!" then sulks about it until we give in and let him do whatever he wants. When my bff said he wanted to run a campaign I basically told me brother to his face I do not want him in our game. His only character ideas were a pixie that gets drunk constantly for a joke gag and a drow that is purely only a bitch to everyone for no reason.
@@StudlyFudd13 There's got to be a game out there for a player like him. Maybe Animal Crossing or something. With simple characters he can just vibe with and not put in too much investment.
i don't think Mitch didn't care, i think he was just not willing to accept that he was not going to get what he wanted. Being captured was unacceptable to him so he blamed the DM for his characters suicide.
Dear god people need to find the strength to kick bad players. This guy sounded a good dm who let bad players ruin their game and couldn't even tell them I'm quitting because of you.
Also I hate players who get their fun ruining the game for others because trollololol. If your that bored or the game is to serious stop punishing others who want to play that type of game
Turning D&D into a colouring book - I pretty much guessed that we'd be finding out *why* every campaign they joined ended up being "dropped" by the DM. I had hoped that OP would have just killed off both of their characters and then - after the session - quietly told them to not bother rolling up any more and kicked them from the Discord server.
With respect to the final story: On the one hand, I can sympathize with the problem player. I often have difficulty with social situations and have suffered consequences, both in character and in real life, for not knowing the right words to say or having what I want to say come out wrong. On the other hand, this is a *roleplaying* game and that means you need to at least *try* to engage with the story and setting. Even if you can't figure out the right words to say, you need to at least be able to express your *intent.* If you can't do that much, it looks less like you're socially inept and more like you're just not engaged.
I'm reminded of the 1991 British film Bernard and The Genie, where a character is described as "having all the sexual magnetism of a small Dutch cheese... No, that's not fair. A medium-sized Dutch cheese."
If you're in a pinch in the US, Dollar Tree sells dice sets called generic "Roll Playing Dice." I keep a few sets on hand for players that forget theirs.
I have over 600 dice, because I have a problem and love the click-clack math rocks, so I have plenty of spares. But Dollar stores, Walmart, etc are great places to pick up cheap sets for your friends for sure!
These videos are making me want to write about one of my experiences with a DM that was railroading us beyond belief and then threw a temper tantrum and racial slurs when someone didnt want him to flirt with me. Glad we didnt even get to a third session.
I wouldn't call in not caring, that was "video game syndrome". He wanted to play DND like a video game, with set paths, set dialogue options, set outcomes where the brooding anti-hero main character does everything perfectly because he's just that cool.
Story 6 On one hand, it could be possible this dude just can’t do rping. But on the other hand, dude kinda buried himself and dragged a player with him
Okay I know this is way late, but in the first story is no one going to bring up the idea of the problem player trying to "graze" the OP? It's not like I can go in and be like "I attack the bandit and try to graze all the other bandits." It's not taking away player agency to say "that's not how attacks work."
It’s so lovely seeing people go, “I try to seduce [insert female character here]” and then rolling. It’s a pathetic attempt because they don’t even try to say anything seductive.
That last story is just... wow. Like, the guy didn't even want to attempt the most *basic* form of roleplaying. All he'd have to do is look at his sheet, pick one of *several* social skills, and say "can I use [X] to do [Y]?" I get that not everyone is interested in roleplaying, but come on. And concluding that it was proof that the GM was out to get him? Seriously?
As someone who typically plays villains in good parties I’ve gotten very good at rping talking my way out of sticky Situations. High charisma and lots of ranks in persuasion certainly helps as well. My villain characters typically use the party as a cover to appear as one of the good guys while they either manipulate people into doing evil acts for them or do them in ways that can’t be traced back to them. One of the rules I have one playing an evil character is DO NOT disrupt the party. For one that would completely defeat the purpose of having the party as a cover and two it’s kinda a dick move.
It’s crazy to me how, while admiring one of, if not the, greatest work of fantasy ever made which fabulously shines by its absence of toxicity of any kind, so called "admirers" of Tolkien's work can be so infamous by upholding the very kinds of toxic behaviour Tolkien himself would have never accepted. I guess it’s a human pattern…
Just a question: What was the most normal character you’ve ever played? Going to be starting a campaign with a Fighter that’ll focus on crossbows and sword & board in melee that's just a pretty normal guy.
@@fancifulbread8040 Normal being doesn't have a particularly exciting or tragic life and isn't an edgelord, murder hobo, or creep. Bonus points if they aren't some chosen one by the end of the campaign. Just a guy who wanted more out of life and decided going out and kill monsters for gold. Like the blacksmith, btw.
I like making Really Weird characters, so I barely have anything that qualifies, but I have two that might count: Kliklik Korvibrandt, a kenku wizard librarian who's a nervous shut-in basically forced out of their comfort zone. Or Dr. Henrietta Jäger, a chemist/pharmacist beast barbarian (with highish int no less) who accidentally gave herself diet lycanthropy in trying to find a treatment for it. Which sounds weirder than it is, because she's basically just an awkward mom literally and figuratively who's kind of bumbling her way through the adventure.
if you have a player who is obviously trying to screw over another character, then it is your prerogative as DM to remember you are god, and you make them not do that. You don't have to roll for it, that's part of the collective storytelling and fun that is DnD. If they don't want to let someone else have fun, don't let them have fun.
Seeing Mitch just ignore the fact that there IS a way out and eventually end himself fills me with both frustration and sadness and I don't know which one I am filled more of.
The guy in the last story, I believe the name we were given for him was Mitch. His issue could have been that no one had really explained roleplay to him. His previous DM's could have been more of roll play DM, which is a viable play style, but it cripples players when they aren't taught the difference and they enter a game that requires RP. It seems plain as day to me that his issue was not understanding roleplay as whenever the DM asked him to roleplay his way out of it he asked what to roll. This isn't a problem player, this is a player who is uneducated. That is like ignoring everything a person says because they didn't finish high school. Mitch honestly deserves another chance and an offer to teach him what roleplay is.
Honestly this is me personally if I was the DM that was running the Norse mythology campaign after the third time of then doodling on the map and the scenes without saying a word I would have booted them from the chat in the game and then killed the characters off
Midgardsormr gibbing their characters instead of the NPC would have been legit. Annoying idiot characters are frequently written into mainstream stories just for that purpose, after all.
A great April fools prank to play on your DM is to just "roll for roleplay" whenever a roleplay segment comes up, imagine you and your party having a chat but you all just roll dice and remark on how the good or bad the roll was. It would be a very funny gag I'm sure.
The funny thing about the first story is that if the DM set aside some time every session or two for romantic subplots and other things, it would really highlight the horror and action scenes they want to play out - especially if those horror and action scene put the PCs and NPCs they care about most in the middle of the danger.
Yeaaaahhh. That last one, not knowing how to roleplay? I had one like that-but with a little time and careful coaxing I have them trying, and they appear to be enjoying things a lot more as they realize that I'm only here to offer interaction and a story they can shape as they play. Ergo. I'm giving them the world, and something they can try and do...but they try and do it their way, within reason. Like enchanting a net with shocking grasp after lacing it with bits of copper.
The last story. I dont rly like how the dm handled the problem player, the guy clearly never roleplayed, dont like to (as of it now) and it rly doesnt want to. The DM just saying "i cant tell you what to do" is ok, but the dm can for sure give him ideas! Like, ok you wanna climb the wall, be aware that they'll attack you, maybe you can try to talk with them somehow? If the player doesnt know what to say, its fine, make him roll persuasion, intimidation or deception accordingly with what the player would like. Is your character trying to be diplomatic rn? Persuasion Is your charcater trying to be intimidating? Intimidation Trying to manipulate them? Deception Not every player likes, knows or wants to roleplay, whenever someone plays a barbarian we dont expect them to lift and throw the smallest player across the room. We shouldnt expet the players to be charismatic, intimidating, deceptive, smart or clever
Poor Mitch. Sunuvabish can't think his way out of a plastic bag. . . He just avoids eye contact in the mirror knowing he'd fail that interaction. . . When he prays, he blames God for not preparing his words for him. . . At the Drive Thru they ask "May I take your order." He responds "No." . . When Mitch waits in line. He doesn't know where to stand. . . Thanks for staying this long
It kind of annoys me how all these DMs just ... *let* their players attack and bully other players (especially new ones). It is your job to make sure everyone at your table is having fun. I straight up don't allow mind control on PCs (unless they have agreed to it beforehand) or PVP (again, unless every player consents to it).
I am actually kind of concerned for Mitch in this instance. - If only because he appears to be having a anxiety attack and is unable to think straight.
No dice story - back in the 70s in New Zealand when I started RPGing we had nothing but d6's. We used a math book table of random numbers and a d6. 1-3 the random number was in the 1-10 range, and if the d6 was 4-6 it was 11-20. Then I made a set of dice out of cardboard. I still have three faces of my d8 and a complete d4 in my collection.
I would like to point out, skill checks are usually handled in the order of, intention/roll/rp. State you want to do something, roll for success/fail, roleplay it out. The guy that wanted to "roll to roleplay" wasn't asking for anything out of the ordinary. The DM and the group however played like many people do and decide for charisma and other player/npc interactions that the rp determines what to roll by deciphering the intention. That is also fine... but the guy literally asked what he should roll and got side eyed and laughed at instead... More introverted people would probably prefer all skill checks be rolled before being told to rp on the spot. Rp doesn't actually need to happen for a game to move on from anyone but the GM. I personally would have just told him to roll the charisma check and make up whatever he said determined on what he rolled. Problem solved. Context 20:00 Though...when it comes to PC's being affected by charisma. I would allow full autonomy on rather they wanted their char to be affected by a roll or not, or even disregard them entirely so stuff like "roll to seduce" isn't a thing for PC's at all unless there are saving throws/spells involved.
I actually feel a little sorry for the player who when asked to ROLEplay just kept responding with, "I don't know how to ROLL for that." I mean, sure they had other problems, but that particular aspect seemed less like not caring and more like a genuine failure to distinguish between two words that sound the same. I get the impression they just lacked experience with immersive gameplay and so were treating D&D as if it was a board game. I can conceptually understand how frustrating that would be, if they were expecting there to be specific predefined options for every action while everyone else is just free forming it. I'd imagine it'd be like sitting down for a game of Monopoly and instead of rolling dice the other players just start narrating.
My favourite homebrew rule is that no player can do anything to your character without you consenting to it - no rolling persuasion, no using mind control spells, no creepy shenanigans. Some people forget that the goal of D&D is collaboratively telling a story together.
I know in my group sometimes if we don’t know precisely know what our character would say we describe the gist, it’s not hard. And we’ll have a better idea of what the character had said based on the roll. The roll can mean the difference between stumbling over an apology and a heartfelt one.
D&D can definitely be a viable place for flirting, IF you have the ability to do so AND the object of your affection is WILLING. If you are a jackass, move on. If they say nay, shut up. Maturity will win you more points than dogged stupidity.
4:21 Why The *_FUCK_* did the DM allow this!? Why did *_anyone_* allow this!?!? I don't care what campaign we're playing, I wouldn't immediately kill that character for doing something so fucking horrible and yelling at the DM for allowing some bullshit like that to happen!!! WHAT THE *_FUCK!?!?_*
3:42 when that happens point out that he's either raging or just calming down from raging, so he can't be that reasonable, or the druid doesn't trust him because he's irrational from raging.
Or more to the point, DON'T let players roll to persuade other players in the first place. Not even the DM is allowed to use an NPCs skill check to force a player into specific actions. Persuasion is NOT mind control.
No I'm, low key, fully with Mitch wanting to roll for roleplay. You don't ask the 90lb asmatic at the table to physically bench press 250lbs in order to have their barbarian succeed a Strength Check. They get to roll dice that indicate how well their CHARACTER does the task! Why ask someone who in real life is clearly not good at knowing what to say, to just suddenly "git gud" at knowing what to say? I have numbers beside my skills for a reason! Why must I now suddenly rely on whether or not I the player can say the right thing to the DM, instead of us just assuming that my character (with a high enough roll) knows exactly what to say to the guards. The DM should have said "Diplomacy if you want to try and convince them to let you go, Deception if you try to lie your way out". You should ALWAYS let your players have the option of relying on those awesome numbers on their Character Sheet in situations where the character is more skilled than the player. And yeah, sure, it's always great to have the player put some words of dialog or description to what their character is saying or doing, and even have those words inform the effectiveness of the roll result. But you should never just lock a player out of their skills and their stats for NOT KNOWING what words would most please the DM.
The problem was Mitch didn't even try to choose what to roll, just asking for the best option. It's not that he couldn't roleplay, he couldn't even try to choose what to do on his own. And he chose to rage quit instead of picking anything else.
In at least my games I try to keep PVP to significant plot moments. It can leave a greater impact on the players when a very important turn in the story involves PVP, to that end PVP should remain a rare and significant offucrance. My first PVP was my first TPK and my first party betrayal. I was a player in that game. We reached the end and were given a deal by a fallen angel. Nobody in the party accepted... accept the player that had already been dealing with this fallen angel for something akin to nine sessions. Darkness overwhelmed the party and in the moment of surprise he attacked our Paladin. Pali died in one hit as the gruesome fight a moment ago left us all drained. When the darkness cleared the Tiefling was completely transformed, fully hellish in appearance. He minced the party fairly effortlessly. I was angry, upset even, in the moment. But I remember that story and still cherish it. I'm even still friends with the player that betrayed us. What happened was not only in character, but true to character and came at a pivotal point in the story. I guess what I'm trying to say is. PVPing and taking small jabs for any reason less than something actually significant to the party's plot is fucking bullshit. Don't be petty out of character. Be petty in character.
I feel a bit sorry for Mitch. He's obviously uh, not too savvy on how TTRPGs work (and a whiny dick to boot), but really an attempt to use the Diplomacy skill could have easily lead the DM to ask, "you offer to surrender too?". Also a nat 1 isn't an automatic failure on a skill roll in PF1e - it's possible that Swashbuckler could have still succeeded on that roll...as long as 1+her total skill modifier >= DC, she'd succeed. Still, I get the feeling that the entire table was tired of Mitch's whining, and were happy to just let it happen, heh. And I don't blame 'em.
Good point on the nat 1 not being an auto fail, especially since the guards would all be taking a pretty massive perception penalty while asleep. Then again, people don't just die instantly from having their throats slit either. They wouldn't exactly be able to yell out, but they could still fall out of bed, knock over nearby objects, or otherwise raise a ruckus.
Last DM did pretty good. Personally I would have told him flat out surrender or death were his only options. On the other hand, I do allow rolls for players who are unsure about RPing tense situations. The only time I require RP is PC to PC interaction, that you can't just roll for. Forcing role play is just gate keeping. To me "tell me what your character says" is EXACTLY the same as "show me how your character swings the sword."
Yeah, it can be kind of frustrating. No one expects players to be able to accurately play out what their character is doing when making strength, dexterity, or constitution checks, and even intelligence and wisdom often get a free pass as well. Charisma, however, tends to bring out certain elitist double standards where players are expected to be just as eloquent as their character.
Weird idea. It'd be cool if we got some sort of weird warp ripple transition between human and rat form. Just a goofy fun idea. Love your content man and yeesh it really does seem like we get a mega creep once every episode lately
Intro: It's hard to tell the difference between bait and the real deal at times. That is the true horror of the internet. I mean, we say one of these types of people in an old Critcrab video where That Guy was upset that his Warhammer 40K had dark stuff because the DM was a woman and "women shouldn't do dark subjects." I think the video was called "Sexist Gatekeeper Bashes Female GM For Running GrimDark Game r/rpghorrorstories" Killing a Character.... Over Poetry?!: I feel like DMs never get told important advice like "say no if one or more players are trying to ruin the fun of one or more other players" or "everyone should be having fun, not just some people or one person." No one wants to risk ruining the campaign, but not stopping problems almost guarantee that will happen. Sadly, problem players will jump to abuse a DM's inability to say no, as this guy did. Turning D&D into a Coloring Book: Yeah, problem players can quickly burn out people with D&D. I also agree that the OP should have been honest about why he had to stop. If they didn't heed the information, they have no excuse for not improving. "i rOLL to SEDuce yOU": Being a creep, "controlling" NPCs to try to control another player's character, and a good possibility of cheating considering his hidden dice rolls. Add in the "I'm never wrong" ego and I'm amazed OP didn't quit D&D than and there (especially after his terrible understanding of the female body is somehow worst than my own). The DM needed to have a talk with him about the creepiness, no excuse not to (especially after Problem took control of an NPC to try to get into OP's character's pants, a NPC that was her character's girlfriend). He Wants to Roll to Roleplay: I feel like part of the issue is that he could have be raised by a Roll-player DM. For those who never seen the Terrible Writing Advice D&D videos, roll-players are the players who care more about numbers than flavor, the counterpart to the role-player. It sounds like he was raised a roll-player, and never bothered to try the other side of a D&D game (the roleplaying). If he just admitted that he didn't understand how to roleplay and ask for help, this story would have likely ended very differently (maybe even with him liking the DM more for introducing a side of TTRPGs he never knew about until than). Sadly, that isn't how this story ended.
I wonder if some of the people that are like Mitch just don't understand what is asked of them. It could be that when you say "Roleplay" they hear "Roll Play." I say this because I have met people who don't know the difference between a Flat Head ( Flat Tip ) screwdriver and a Phillips ( Cross Tip ) screwdriver.
i dont get why some people think they can roll dice to interact with other PCs… if PvP is allowed and you need to roll in a fight, or there’s some weird circumstance, fine, but in general? you can’t roll to seduce another player’s character because they get to choose their own reaction. you can’t roll to persuade them because _they choose their own actions._ it’s like they’re not… seeing other players as people. 😭
For me a DM's primary job is to ensure EVERYONE around the table is having fun. I get that some people have anxiety about confronting people etc but if someone at the table is clearly trying to make the experience more miserable for other players it is your job to do something about it. If you are so socially anxious to the point that you can't do that then you shouldn't be a DM.
For the scribling bit, as a player I'd probably ask to have them kicked. Like it's as if they never got over the thrull of being told no by a teacher in school.
This is my first video I've seen of yours. The background music is great and your reading is expressive and natural while still being fast. Comment about the last story though. Mitch's behavior doesn't make sense at all given what happened. And in my experience, if something doesn't add up, there's information missing. I'm not saying it's impossible for Mitch to be just that stubborn and obtuse, but it's also possible that OP left things out (see Critcrab's Ross saga. Although this OP doesn't seem nearly as bad as Ross Saga's OP).
I'm an asexual trans lesbian, which wouldn't be important for any D&D story, but it became pertinent with one player I've met. He would always try to hit on my characters (even if they had the same romantic and sexual attraction as me) and would always make me uncomfortable. Luckily the DM always stopped it before it got to far with interruptions (NPCs, BBEG, narration, etc). However, as awkward as that was, it only got worse over time. I hadn't told anyone that I was trans yet because it's kind of scary to disclose that with people you're not sure about. Well, everyone soon found out when he got weird. I don't remember the specifics, but he asked if a female NPC one day had anything "extra". When the DM asked what he meant, he said "You know, like a penis. A 'Japanese f-word used as a slur for trans women', like that." I couldn't take it and said, "We're called trans women, or transfemme if you're nonbinary, not (repeat of word)." I had just outed myself in front of 6 (at the time I thought were cishet men [turns out later on one would come out as a transfemme nonbinary and one of those men was actually a bisexual trans man the DM was good friends with and already knew that]). This problem player then said after a moment of silence, "Wait, so you got a penis? That's really hot." DM kicked him on the spot. So that's how I met these wonderful people that are my friends (I just went out of state to visit one of them and went to a lesbian concert with them). Now, as a DM, I lay down who I am at the table and what I will not tolerate, and if a player deviates into that with some gross behavior, I kick them on the spot. I also keep an actual mace next to my chair to dissuade any bigots who decide to get physical (I have yet to get anything more than verbal slurs but after a friend of mine got attacked for being LGBTQ+, I decided to keep it out just in case). Sorry for the long story, but just hearing all these sexually charged problem players really made me want to talk about my own experience
It kinda sounds like Mitch doesn't really understand the difference between a TTRPG and a video game. He was playing that more like a strictly linear action game than anything else.
The DM was asking him to ROLE play, but all Mitch seemed to hear was ROLL play. Not really surprising he'd basically keep asking what dice he's supposed to use for that and get frustrated no one would give him an answer to that question.
A couple times that I accidentally managed to roleplay my way out of a situation by blurting out something so stupid that the DM let me win because I made him laugh. The first time, I was in character and I didn't realize until after I spoke that I had misinterpreted an NPC's comment. The other time was: Other Player: *tries to bribe customs inspector* DM: "Is this a bribe?" Me: "That depends. Is it working?"
God, I love when Crispy’s reading a story and realizes halfway through that the OP is a creep and switches the voice accordingly, it’s always so funny
That voice change was honestly such a plot twist 😂
It was so funny
Revealing the true demonic form
As a wise man once said "We don't make mistakes, just happy little accidents"
I was listening to the video while doing something else, I had to rewind because I felt like I missed a part lol
"Op shouldn't roll damage, her breasts would cushion the fall"... Okay, since we're using middle school logic, that means every male npc we encounter can be insta-killed by drop-kicking them in the balls and thus combat encounters are easy now!
Every male character has to have especial protection in the balls or they die
Also now they can’t stab females in the chest bc breast wouldn’t take the damage
@@dantefarge3369 I would personally make that his character's weakness and his only, just to get the point across--well, except that he's a literal kid. Nobody is as impossible to convince of anything as someone in the golden range of 16-19 years old, because they're sure they've got everything figured out.
I call BS on that. Getting hit in the boobs f-ing hurts.
@@animeotaku307 Come now, I may have never been through middle school but if what I've heard from people who have; It's the perfect breeding grounds for smart asses who think they know better than what's written in a book or facts.
As a male, I can say this would work extra damage if it's a high-heeled shoe or one spikes
"OP shouldn't roll damage! Her breasts would cushion her fall!"
What a strange way to say you've never Known a woman.
Wuhh, you mean breasts aren't airbags of happy fun jigglyness?
Operates entirely off of cartoon logic.
Ok, but is anyone else impressed by the seamless voice change from “Normal person” to “Whiny Toxic Incel?” In the first story? That’s some skill right there!
That Neckbeard in the poetry story is awful, but holy crap what is with the DM in that campaign? Just letting Neckbeard treat persuasion as mind control? Giving the party a bizarre revive/possession potion that could completely wreck a player's agency? And apparently just allowing neckbeard to use a character as a slave? DM's either spineless or creepy in their own right.
Don't know could have been some one New to DMing. Now while I agree the dm should have put a stop to it and not given out given out an item like that if they were new they may not have been confident enough or knew they could step in. The other players should have stepped in as well when they noticed the DM not stepping in.
@@judgedredd2039 That's true, the rest of the party didn't seem to do much to stop it either.
Players in my game can never use persuasion on another player they have to roll play things like that and then it's up to the other player not die rolls
@@williamlee7482 exactly
@@judgedredd2039 still kinda weird. How spineless do you have to be to just accept mind control and r*pe? I’ve never played d&d yet I know (or at least hope) I would never allow anything even remotely similar to that.
I remember my character that was racist towards Fey specifically. Pathfinder first edition. Blighted Myrmidon Antipaladin. As part of his backstory he went down the path of seeking the destruction of nature because of a series of increasingly annoying Fey pranks. First they took his left socks. Then they curdled his milk. The last straw in a long line of straws involved a Fey sneaking up behind him and asking "May I have your name". Like any normal human his response was "Of course" only to be followed by his name. He couldn't utter it. The party was introduced to the Antipaladin with no name.
Gnome: "What's your name?"
Antipaladin: "I DON'T KNOW!"
That is absolutely brilliant!
I did the "May I have your name" trick with a player before lol after he gave it, everyone forgot his name and heard what sounded like static every time they tried to remember it.
@@Lord_necromancer You should see my next character; a fae with 50 names
Problem Player: "What do I roll to roleplay?"
That made me laugh so hard.
And his reaction afterwards was pretty much a textbook example of the "We've tried nothing and we're all out of ideas" meme.
You got it wrong, that problem player said, "What do I roll to rollplay?" Seriously, I'm glad that the storyteller of the group I played with before moving cities had always made sure we, as a group, understood we were playing role playing games and not roll playing games.
Tbh as a newbie I thought I had to roll something too lol. I thought I sort of just sit back and rp happens?? To be fair my DM ran a module but without discussing the module with us, my character had no backstory and therefore no personality.
@@ECSDaemon I'd buy that if it was coming from a new player, but this guy had supposedly been playing games like this for a decade. No way he didn't know what was meant in that context.
@@thor30013 or maybe he just had years and years of very boring DMs
In the first main story, the DM should never have allowed that guy to do splash damage to OP. There's absolutely no mechanic like that in 5e
Also persuasion on other PCs, but god whatever that magic item supposedly was doesn't need to exist and *definitely* shouldn't be allowed on other players. Absolutely bs.
I mean, if hes "flavoring up" killing an npc with Great weapon master, there is cleave. Still wrong on his part
It sounds like the DM is either having fun with what werido does or that DM doesn't really like the player.
Nothing stops the ranger from popping a few arrows into them. Their actions showed it was okay to hit party members, so no holds barred I'd have shot multiple arrows into the raving beast with no control. But I'd let him live the first time. The second, he'd stay down.
splash damage is in 13th Age which is D&d on steroids
"We don't know she can be trusted!"
... This coming from the guy who has been mercilessly trying to kill a party member because he had a tantrum when he was called out on his shitty behavior via sonnet. And when he takes the op character and does... THAT... Time to pull a Leonidas straight from 300.
What actually bugs me most about the last story is the idea to _slit the sleeping guards' throats_ during a stealthy burglary. Apart from causing needless harm to people doing the least threatening part of their job - keeping themselves well-rested for their next shift - it's such an unnecessary way to paint a huge target on the player group's back. If a treasure map and a couple of other valuables go missing the person previously in possession of those items will probably start looking for a thief, ideally without much to go on. But if whole barracks' worth of guards are found with their throats slit _everybody_ starts looking for a death cult or similar group of deranged murderers, and everybody new to the region will be on top of their list of suspects with nobody in their right mind willing to grant them cover.
If I was game-mastering for that group they'd know they screwed up and what exactly the screw-up was sooner rather than later.
That seems more like an unfair punishment if you ask me. Better to not risk the guards waking up and botching the entire job because of a bad role.
@@emberfist8347 When your position is that you'd rather turn a burglary into a mass murder just in case the rogue stepping on a rustling sheet of paper somewhere might wake up the sleeping guards in the barracks I am pretty sure I can dismiss your idea of fairness.
@@shizanketsuga8696 As the story shows it takes one bad roll to ruin the heist.
@@emberfist8347 One bad roll _in the barracks_ while _murdering people._ Spot the mistake!
Fat load of good that psychopathic murder spree did for them.
@@shizanketsuga8696
If everything really can go sideways because of a bad dice roll.
you best believe I'm making Sure there are no guards to fight just in case
"So, um. I may have submitted a poem about how this attitude is garbage. In sonnet form.
Looking back, I think he may have taken offence."
Beautifully written by OP, beautifully delivered by Crispy!
On the story featuring "Neckbeard" as the problem player, the DM is a huge part of the problem by allowing Neckbeard to ruin the game - it should not have been difficult to put a stop to this. I would think that the DM could simply have ruled that Neckbeard's actions were not going to happen, and if Neckbeard whined about this, he should have been removed from the game. The OP made the right move here - leave the game and waste no more time with these idiots, as it was obvious that the DM was going to side with the jerk.
Right?! Like they look apologetic but then let them do it anyways??? Whatever happened to "no"
This is also why you should never allow CHA based skills (Persuasion in this case) to be used against other players. Neckbeard never should have been able to force their healer not to heal a party member, that takes away player agency.
How does the dm still have players? Why would anyone stay and be exposed to that bs?
@@GBArkais ses like he was all about taking everyone's agency while relishing in his own. And the dm let that happen. Bad player, bad dm, everyone should have up and left.
Actualy dan i think their another way make it the player beibg persuadeds choice what the dc and their action after as persuation os t really like aome sort magic save they should have to actualy convince the pc. And inturn the player
I love when he reads a story and realizes that OP is the bad guy. Instead of just starting over like a lot of others would, he keeps reading and changes his voice which makes this feel far more immersive.
I am frequently the only woman in my RP groups. I can get all the romance I want IRL from my husband, but I'm not going to get any cars being ramped off each other and flipped at high speed until my sons get their learner's permits, so...anyone who attempts to start a romantic subplot and take up my Designated Explosions Time will get beaten with a sockful of dice.
(No, not really with the violence, but I would like for people to respect my unfulfilled need for fiery destruction.)
I liked in the intro how you slowly turned from your "normal" storytelling voice to your "Toxic" Voice. Pretty much mirrored my feelings as the tone of the post shifted as you read it.
SEDUCTION
If you could "accidentally graze" to death others AFTER your turn is taken up then I would like to "accidentally graze" all the NPC baddies on every turn to make two attacks instead of one.... No? I can't do that? Then WTF is going on here?!
"I drop my weapon and raise my hands in surrender" is probably all the tolerant DM needed to hear from Mitch, but "I jam my knife into my throat in a final act of sudoku" was equally brilliant. iT's wHaT HiS cHaRaCtEr wOuLd dO.
*Seppuku
Sudoku is the game my dad likes to play to keep his mind sharp. It's one square divided into nine squares further divided into nine squares. You place the numbers 1-9 into the grid in such a fashion that the numbers do not repeat... XD
Story 1 - Obvious bait post is obvious but seriously, I am a girl and I love the horror settings so…
Story 2 - Neckbeard creep and pushover DM is a terrible combination.
Story 3 - Player who knows how to roll and not “role”
0:31 the change from your normal voice into the voice you give to “that guys” was so funny as we realize the one writing the post is the “that guy”
I absolutely love how fast he changes his voice when he is reading and realizes that the OP is the POS.
that first story with the neckbeard jackass who kept attacking the new player is precisely why I do not allow PvP or even "accidental" PvP in my campaigns unless everyone involved is OK with it.
The DM should’ve put a stop to it the moment Neckbeard started rolling persuasion to stop Druid from healing. And kicked him when he turned OP’s character into his slave.
Yeah, you can ask the player if they accept the [whatever] from the other player. If they don't then it doesn't happen in game. Same with buffing and healing. Good interactions would be opt out, bad interactions would be opt in.
There's more than one elf... DM has the right to have the "wrong" elf take the damage.
The whole 'roll to role play' thing does bring up one of my pet peeves
It annoys me when a DM modifies any kind of social roll based on how persuasive the player is
IRL, I'm not a good speaker. I stammer. I stumble over words. I have to pause to think of something clever to say
My high charisma characters are not like that. They have strong, confident voices and always have a lie or argument ready to go, but the DM will have me roll with disadvantage beacause the meat sack controlling them took three attempts to say, "The sargeant's looking for you! Better make yourself scarce!", to a group of lazy guards without stammering
This makes about as much sense to me as penalizing my combat rolls because I've never used a sword in my life
That said, they should have should at least have made some effort
You shouldn't be penalized for stammering if you play high charisma characters, if you are, leave the game group immediately. If you say what your intention is, then the gm can work with it.
That said. Mitch was given every opportunity to actually talk himself out of getting killed or surrender and plan to escape. As well as the fact his grand heist plan after a week of bitching and moaning was, from what we've seen is: jump the wall, kill the guards, it tells me he doesn't care about anything or can't engage in anything beyond combat. It's not a problem in combat heavy games, but if your game of d&d/d20 is roleplay heavy or the system your playing decentivizes combat by making it actually brutal and unforgiving. Then you'll get really frustrated by the game.
I’m sorry your DM rules that way. If you have the spirit, your stutter shouldn’t matter. Talk to them and explain your feelings - if they ignore or belittle you for it, look for a different group to play in. You don’t deserve to be punished for sth you can’t control. Best luck to you 🍀
I have to agree with the other commenters, that's pretty ableist and the DM should be talked to aside and have their AH behaviour pointed out. The DM should be taking the spirit of what you're saying, appreciating your IRL difficulty and bridging the gap into the game. This should be the case for people with social anxiety as well.
The only penalty the DM should be sustaining on a player is due to a lack of engagement or creativity (like in that last game). They shouldn't have to spoonfeed their players on their own actions unless it's a mystery or they're playing with little kids.
This is plainly awful. It's an imagination game; if there's no penalties on your character sheet, or on your target, what gives?
Story 4
When folks like Gary and John say that they can’t find a DM that stays for too long, then chance are they are most likely the reason why.
And it’s stupidity like that that Pisses me off the most!
One of life's lessons you discover as you get older. If it happens once, it's on them. If it becomes a trend, it's on you.
I don't blame the DM for trying once with these guys. Not booting and killing off their characters seems like a mood though.
The coloring book one is so disappointing. The problem players will never learn anything if the DMs are always too cowardly to directly kick them out and let them know it's their fault.
It reminds me of when a DM got angry at the players for "not playing properly" cause we were messing around in Roll20... except the session was like 10 minutes away and the DM was still getting ready
I don't recall if there actually was a session
"Alright. You're surrounded by guards, but you can still get out of this."
Mitch: "Guess I'll die and roll up the same character."
Just... why? 10 years of experience for that?
Oh well. Good video, as always. Thatnk you for making me smile in this late night.
Add to that
Mitch: I was given no way out of this! Suicide was clearly the only option despite you telling me options!
He doesn’t have 10 years of experience, he’s had the same 1 year of experience 10 times.
This is how my brother is over everything. He fails at one thing, is instantly giving up and saying, "Well I just die then!" then sulks about it until we give in and let him do whatever he wants. When my bff said he wanted to run a campaign I basically told me brother to his face I do not want him in our game. His only character ideas were a pixie that gets drunk constantly for a joke gag and a drow that is purely only a bitch to everyone for no reason.
@@StudlyFudd13 There's got to be a game out there for a player like him. Maybe Animal Crossing or something. With simple characters he can just vibe with and not put in too much investment.
i don't think Mitch didn't care, i think he was just not willing to accept that he was not going to get what he wanted. Being captured was unacceptable to him so he blamed the DM for his characters suicide.
He fell on his sword. I don't know where he was going with any of his moves. I hope he learns through this.
Dear god people need to find the strength to kick bad players. This guy sounded a good dm who let bad players ruin their game and couldn't even tell them I'm quitting because of you.
Also I hate players who get their fun ruining the game for others because trollololol. If your that bored or the game is to serious stop punishing others who want to play that type of game
Turning D&D into a colouring book - I pretty much guessed that we'd be finding out *why* every campaign they joined ended up being "dropped" by the DM. I had hoped that OP would have just killed off both of their characters and then - after the session - quietly told them to not bother rolling up any more and kicked them from the Discord server.
With respect to the final story:
On the one hand, I can sympathize with the problem player. I often have difficulty with social situations and have suffered consequences, both in character and in real life, for not knowing the right words to say or having what I want to say come out wrong.
On the other hand, this is a *roleplaying* game and that means you need to at least *try* to engage with the story and setting. Even if you can't figure out the right words to say, you need to at least be able to express your *intent.* If you can't do that much, it looks less like you're socially inept and more like you're just not engaged.
His character had the charisma of a turnip. 🤣 I've never heard it put quite that way before.
I'm reminded of the 1991 British film Bernard and The Genie, where a character is described as "having all the sexual magnetism of a small Dutch cheese... No, that's not fair. A medium-sized Dutch cheese."
@@michaeldolan5792 Oh, that's hilarious. 🤣
@@michaeldolan5792
Does that mean extremely low or high? I'd kill for some cheese
@@thatonewitch I don't have an exact numerical rating, but it's definitely two bus rides and a long walk from being good.
If you're in a pinch in the US, Dollar Tree sells dice sets called generic "Roll Playing Dice." I keep a few sets on hand for players that forget theirs.
I have over 600 dice, because I have a problem and love the click-clack math rocks, so I have plenty of spares. But Dollar stores, Walmart, etc are great places to pick up cheap sets for your friends for sure!
These videos are making me want to write about one of my experiences with a DM that was railroading us beyond belief and then threw a temper tantrum and racial slurs when someone didnt want him to flirt with me. Glad we didnt even get to a third session.
Glad you guys got out early!
Please do.
I hope you're okay. Insults can definitely hit differently given intent and the target's unique vulnerability points.
"I'm going to turn back into an animated rat" is my new favorite phrase.
I wouldn't call in not caring, that was "video game syndrome". He wanted to play DND like a video game, with set paths, set dialogue options, set outcomes where the brooding anti-hero main character does everything perfectly because he's just that cool.
Story 6
On one hand, it could be possible this dude just can’t do rping.
But on the other hand, dude kinda buried himself and dragged a player with him
Okay I know this is way late, but in the first story is no one going to bring up the idea of the problem player trying to "graze" the OP? It's not like I can go in and be like "I attack the bandit and try to graze all the other bandits." It's not taking away player agency to say "that's not how attacks work."
It’s so lovely seeing people go, “I try to seduce [insert female character here]” and then rolling. It’s a pathetic attempt because they don’t even try to say anything seductive.
"Think a week but for European fantasy" told me everything I needed to know right there 😅
That last story is just... wow.
Like, the guy didn't even want to attempt the most *basic* form of roleplaying. All he'd have to do is look at his sheet, pick one of *several* social skills, and say "can I use [X] to do [Y]?"
I get that not everyone is interested in roleplaying, but come on. And concluding that it was proof that the GM was out to get him? Seriously?
As someone who typically plays villains in good parties I’ve gotten very good at rping talking my way out of sticky Situations. High charisma and lots of ranks in persuasion certainly helps as well. My villain characters typically use the party as a cover to appear as one of the good guys while they either manipulate people into doing evil acts for them or do them in ways that can’t be traced back to them. One of the rules I have one playing an evil character is DO NOT disrupt the party. For one that would completely defeat the purpose of having the party as a cover and two it’s kinda a dick move.
It’s crazy to me how, while admiring one of, if not the, greatest work of fantasy ever made which fabulously shines by its absence of toxicity of any kind, so called "admirers" of Tolkien's work can be so infamous by upholding the very kinds of toxic behaviour Tolkien himself would have never accepted.
I guess it’s a human pattern…
The dm is a clown in that first. Stop stare him in the eyes "noooo. We are not including your petty real life childishness into this game."
I love how your tone shifted as you read the first story.
Anyone else really wanna hear that sonnet? 😂
Mitch be like: "I gotta roleplay in a roleplaying game? I did not see this coming,"
Just a question:
What was the most normal character you’ve ever played?
Going to be starting a campaign with a Fighter that’ll focus on crossbows and sword & board in melee that's just a pretty normal guy.
Shouldn't be normal but is realistic :
A blacksmith who worked himself close to death on multiple occasions. He's 27.
@@fancifulbread8040 Normal being doesn't have a particularly exciting or tragic life and isn't an edgelord, murder hobo, or creep. Bonus points if they aren't some chosen one by the end of the campaign.
Just a guy who wanted more out of life and decided going out and kill monsters for gold.
Like the blacksmith, btw.
I once made a son of a blacksmith. He simply decided to leave one day.
I had a human barbarian who did jobs as an escort till he accidentally started doing mercenary work
I like making Really Weird characters, so I barely have anything that qualifies, but I have two that might count:
Kliklik Korvibrandt, a kenku wizard librarian who's a nervous shut-in basically forced out of their comfort zone.
Or Dr. Henrietta Jäger, a chemist/pharmacist beast barbarian (with highish int no less) who accidentally gave herself diet lycanthropy in trying to find a treatment for it. Which sounds weirder than it is, because she's basically just an awkward mom literally and figuratively who's kind of bumbling her way through the adventure.
if you have a player who is obviously trying to screw over another character, then it is your prerogative as DM to remember you are god, and you make them not do that. You don't have to roll for it, that's part of the collective storytelling and fun that is DnD. If they don't want to let someone else have fun, don't let them have fun.
Seeing Mitch just ignore the fact that there IS a way out and eventually end himself fills me with both frustration and sadness and I don't know which one I am filled more of.
That’s why I don’t let my players roll persuasion on each other, if you want to convince another player to do something start talking
The guy in the last story, I believe the name we were given for him was Mitch. His issue could have been that no one had really explained roleplay to him. His previous DM's could have been more of roll play DM, which is a viable play style, but it cripples players when they aren't taught the difference and they enter a game that requires RP. It seems plain as day to me that his issue was not understanding roleplay as whenever the DM asked him to roleplay his way out of it he asked what to roll. This isn't a problem player, this is a player who is uneducated. That is like ignoring everything a person says because they didn't finish high school. Mitch honestly deserves another chance and an offer to teach him what roleplay is.
Roleplay in a roleplaying game? What?! I thought it was a "roll"playing game
Honestly this is me personally if I was the DM that was running the Norse mythology campaign after the third time of then doodling on the map and the scenes without saying a word I would have booted them from the chat in the game and then killed the characters off
Midgardsormr gibbing their characters instead of the NPC would have been legit. Annoying idiot characters are frequently written into mainstream stories just for that purpose, after all.
The Jalter thumbnail grabbed my attention immediately
A great April fools prank to play on your DM is to just "roll for roleplay" whenever a roleplay segment comes up, imagine you and your party having a chat but you all just roll dice and remark on how the good or bad the roll was. It would be a very funny gag I'm sure.
*DM has left the chat*
The funny thing about the first story is that if the DM set aside some time every session or two for romantic subplots and other things, it would really highlight the horror and action scenes they want to play out - especially if those horror and action scene put the PCs and NPCs they care about most in the middle of the danger.
Yeaaaahhh. That last one, not knowing how to roleplay? I had one like that-but with a little time and careful coaxing I have them trying, and they appear to be enjoying things a lot more as they realize that I'm only here to offer interaction and a story they can shape as they play.
Ergo. I'm giving them the world, and something they can try and do...but they try and do it their way, within reason. Like enchanting a net with shocking grasp after lacing it with bits of copper.
The last story. I dont rly like how the dm handled the problem player, the guy clearly never roleplayed, dont like to (as of it now) and it rly doesnt want to.
The DM just saying "i cant tell you what to do" is ok, but the dm can for sure give him ideas! Like, ok you wanna climb the wall, be aware that they'll attack you, maybe you can try to talk with them somehow?
If the player doesnt know what to say, its fine, make him roll persuasion, intimidation or deception accordingly with what the player would like.
Is your character trying to be diplomatic rn? Persuasion
Is your charcater trying to be intimidating? Intimidation
Trying to manipulate them? Deception
Not every player likes, knows or wants to roleplay, whenever someone plays a barbarian we dont expect them to lift and throw the smallest player across the room. We shouldnt expet the players to be charismatic, intimidating, deceptive, smart or clever
Poor Mitch. Sunuvabish can't think his way out of a plastic bag.
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He just avoids eye contact in the mirror knowing he'd fail that interaction.
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When he prays, he blames God for not preparing his words for him.
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At the Drive Thru they ask "May I take your order." He responds "No."
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When Mitch waits in line. He doesn't know where to stand.
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Thanks for staying this long
It kind of annoys me how all these DMs just ... *let* their players attack and bully other players (especially new ones). It is your job to make sure everyone at your table is having fun. I straight up don't allow mind control on PCs (unless they have agreed to it beforehand) or PVP (again, unless every player consents to it).
I am actually kind of concerned for Mitch in this instance. - If only because he appears to be having a anxiety attack and is unable to think straight.
No dice story - back in the 70s in New Zealand when I started RPGing we had nothing but d6's. We used a math book table of random numbers and a d6. 1-3 the random number was in the 1-10 range, and if the d6 was 4-6 it was 11-20. Then I made a set of dice out of cardboard. I still have three faces of my d8 and a complete d4 in my collection.
I would like to point out, skill checks are usually handled in the order of, intention/roll/rp. State you want to do something, roll for success/fail, roleplay it out. The guy that wanted to "roll to roleplay" wasn't asking for anything out of the ordinary. The DM and the group however played like many people do and decide for charisma and other player/npc interactions that the rp determines what to roll by deciphering the intention.
That is also fine... but the guy literally asked what he should roll and got side eyed and laughed at instead... More introverted people would probably prefer all skill checks be rolled before being told to rp on the spot. Rp doesn't actually need to happen for a game to move on from anyone but the GM. I personally would have just told him to roll the charisma check and make up whatever he said determined on what he rolled. Problem solved.
Context 20:00
Though...when it comes to PC's being affected by charisma. I would allow full autonomy on rather they wanted their char to be affected by a roll or not, or even disregard them entirely so stuff like "roll to seduce" isn't a thing for PC's at all unless there are saving throws/spells involved.
I actually feel a little sorry for the player who when asked to ROLEplay just kept responding with, "I don't know how to ROLL for that." I mean, sure they had other problems, but that particular aspect seemed less like not caring and more like a genuine failure to distinguish between two words that sound the same. I get the impression they just lacked experience with immersive gameplay and so were treating D&D as if it was a board game.
I can conceptually understand how frustrating that would be, if they were expecting there to be specific predefined options for every action while everyone else is just free forming it. I'd imagine it'd be like sitting down for a game of Monopoly and instead of rolling dice the other players just start narrating.
I think Mitch in that last story either thought "roleplay" was "ROLL-play," or he was used to always just fighting his way out of situations.
My favourite homebrew rule is that no player can do anything to your character without you consenting to it - no rolling persuasion, no using mind control spells, no creepy shenanigans. Some people forget that the goal of D&D is collaboratively telling a story together.
Slashing his own throat instead of just being arrested...
...that's gotta be the highest dumb tax i ever heard of being paid.
That last guy rather than not caring just seemed genuinely just kinda dumb and didn’t understand the concept of roll playing
just wanna say to anyone reading this you're epic
Thank you! You’re epic too!
I know in my group sometimes if we don’t know precisely know what our character would say we describe the gist, it’s not hard. And we’ll have a better idea of what the character had said based on the roll. The roll can mean the difference between stumbling over an apology and a heartfelt one.
D&D can definitely be a viable place for flirting,
IF you have the ability to do so
AND the object of your affection is WILLING.
If you are a jackass, move on.
If they say nay, shut up.
Maturity will win you more points than dogged stupidity.
4:21 Why The *_FUCK_* did the DM allow this!? Why did *_anyone_* allow this!?!? I don't care what campaign we're playing, I wouldn't immediately kill that character for doing something so fucking horrible and yelling at the DM for allowing some bullshit like that to happen!!! WHAT THE *_FUCK!?!?_*
3:42 when that happens point out that he's either raging or just calming down from raging, so he can't be that reasonable, or the druid doesn't trust him because he's irrational from raging.
Or more to the point, DON'T let players roll to persuade other players in the first place. Not even the DM is allowed to use an NPCs skill check to force a player into specific actions. Persuasion is NOT mind control.
Rogue: "Give us the table!"
The drunk Vikings look at each other, start to smile and all stand up. Then they pick up the table and throw it at rogue.
No I'm, low key, fully with Mitch wanting to roll for roleplay. You don't ask the 90lb asmatic at the table to physically bench press 250lbs in order to have their barbarian succeed a Strength Check. They get to roll dice that indicate how well their CHARACTER does the task! Why ask someone who in real life is clearly not good at knowing what to say, to just suddenly "git gud" at knowing what to say? I have numbers beside my skills for a reason! Why must I now suddenly rely on whether or not I the player can say the right thing to the DM, instead of us just assuming that my character (with a high enough roll) knows exactly what to say to the guards. The DM should have said "Diplomacy if you want to try and convince them to let you go, Deception if you try to lie your way out".
You should ALWAYS let your players have the option of relying on those awesome numbers on their Character Sheet in situations where the character is more skilled than the player.
And yeah, sure, it's always great to have the player put some words of dialog or description to what their character is saying or doing, and even have those words inform the effectiveness of the roll result. But you should never just lock a player out of their skills and their stats for NOT KNOWING what words would most please the DM.
The problem was Mitch didn't even try to choose what to roll, just asking for the best option. It's not that he couldn't roleplay, he couldn't even try to choose what to do on his own. And he chose to rage quit instead of picking anything else.
In at least my games I try to keep PVP to significant plot moments. It can leave a greater impact on the players when a very important turn in the story involves PVP, to that end PVP should remain a rare and significant offucrance.
My first PVP was my first TPK and my first party betrayal. I was a player in that game. We reached the end and were given a deal by a fallen angel. Nobody in the party accepted... accept the player that had already been dealing with this fallen angel for something akin to nine sessions. Darkness overwhelmed the party and in the moment of surprise he attacked our Paladin. Pali died in one hit as the gruesome fight a moment ago left us all drained. When the darkness cleared the Tiefling was completely transformed, fully hellish in appearance. He minced the party fairly effortlessly. I was angry, upset even, in the moment. But I remember that story and still cherish it. I'm even still friends with the player that betrayed us. What happened was not only in character, but true to character and came at a pivotal point in the story.
I guess what I'm trying to say is. PVPing and taking small jabs for any reason less than something actually significant to the party's plot is fucking bullshit. Don't be petty out of character. Be petty in character.
I feel a bit sorry for Mitch. He's obviously uh, not too savvy on how TTRPGs work (and a whiny dick to boot), but really an attempt to use the Diplomacy skill could have easily lead the DM to ask, "you offer to surrender too?". Also a nat 1 isn't an automatic failure on a skill roll in PF1e - it's possible that Swashbuckler could have still succeeded on that roll...as long as 1+her total skill modifier >= DC, she'd succeed.
Still, I get the feeling that the entire table was tired of Mitch's whining, and were happy to just let it happen, heh. And I don't blame 'em.
Good point on the nat 1 not being an auto fail, especially since the guards would all be taking a pretty massive perception penalty while asleep. Then again, people don't just die instantly from having their throats slit either. They wouldn't exactly be able to yell out, but they could still fall out of bed, knock over nearby objects, or otherwise raise a ruckus.
Last DM did pretty good. Personally I would have told him flat out surrender or death were his only options. On the other hand, I do allow rolls for players who are unsure about RPing tense situations. The only time I require RP is PC to PC interaction, that you can't just roll for.
Forcing role play is just gate keeping. To me "tell me what your character says" is EXACTLY the same as "show me how your character swings the sword."
Yeah, it can be kind of frustrating. No one expects players to be able to accurately play out what their character is doing when making strength, dexterity, or constitution checks, and even intelligence and wisdom often get a free pass as well. Charisma, however, tends to bring out certain elitist double standards where players are expected to be just as eloquent as their character.
Weird idea. It'd be cool if we got some sort of weird warp ripple transition between human and rat form. Just a goofy fun idea. Love your content man and yeesh it really does seem like we get a mega creep once every episode lately
Intro: It's hard to tell the difference between bait and the real deal at times. That is the true horror of the internet. I mean, we say one of these types of people in an old Critcrab video where That Guy was upset that his Warhammer 40K had dark stuff because the DM was a woman and "women shouldn't do dark subjects." I think the video was called "Sexist Gatekeeper Bashes Female GM For Running GrimDark Game r/rpghorrorstories"
Killing a Character.... Over Poetry?!: I feel like DMs never get told important advice like "say no if one or more players are trying to ruin the fun of one or more other players" or "everyone should be having fun, not just some people or one person." No one wants to risk ruining the campaign, but not stopping problems almost guarantee that will happen. Sadly, problem players will jump to abuse a DM's inability to say no, as this guy did.
Turning D&D into a Coloring Book: Yeah, problem players can quickly burn out people with D&D. I also agree that the OP should have been honest about why he had to stop. If they didn't heed the information, they have no excuse for not improving.
"i rOLL to SEDuce yOU": Being a creep, "controlling" NPCs to try to control another player's character, and a good possibility of cheating considering his hidden dice rolls. Add in the "I'm never wrong" ego and I'm amazed OP didn't quit D&D than and there (especially after his terrible understanding of the female body is somehow worst than my own). The DM needed to have a talk with him about the creepiness, no excuse not to (especially after Problem took control of an NPC to try to get into OP's character's pants, a NPC that was her character's girlfriend).
He Wants to Roll to Roleplay: I feel like part of the issue is that he could have be raised by a Roll-player DM. For those who never seen the Terrible Writing Advice D&D videos, roll-players are the players who care more about numbers than flavor, the counterpart to the role-player. It sounds like he was raised a roll-player, and never bothered to try the other side of a D&D game (the roleplaying). If he just admitted that he didn't understand how to roleplay and ask for help, this story would have likely ended very differently (maybe even with him liking the DM more for introducing a side of TTRPGs he never knew about until than). Sadly, that isn't how this story ended.
Calling someone a "Gimli lookin' weirdo" is a fuckin iconic insult
The dude in the last story sounds like he just misunderstood the term "rollplay", probably thinking it was playing by rolling
The majority of these stories could all have been avoided if the DMs had been more on-the-ball and willing to call out bad behaviour from the get-go.
I wonder if some of the people that are like Mitch just don't understand what is asked of them. It could be that when you say "Roleplay" they hear "Roll Play." I say this because I have met people who don't know the difference between a Flat Head ( Flat Tip ) screwdriver and a Phillips ( Cross Tip ) screwdriver.
i dont get why some people think they can roll dice to interact with other PCs… if PvP is allowed and you need to roll in a fight, or there’s some weird circumstance, fine, but in general? you can’t roll to seduce another player’s character because they get to choose their own reaction. you can’t roll to persuade them because _they choose their own actions._ it’s like they’re not… seeing other players as people. 😭
Problem player: “I roll to seduce Beyonc-grk!”
*Jay Z grabs him by his throat*
Finish that sentence. I DARE you.
It's kinda sad if someone just... can't react to a situation without rolling dice
For me a DM's primary job is to ensure EVERYONE around the table is having fun. I get that some people have anxiety about confronting people etc but if someone at the table is clearly trying to make the experience more miserable for other players it is your job to do something about it. If you are so socially anxious to the point that you can't do that then you shouldn't be a DM.
For the scribling bit, as a player I'd probably ask to have them kicked. Like it's as if they never got over the thrull of being told no by a teacher in school.
The group from the last story have more patience than me
This is my first video I've seen of yours. The background music is great and your reading is expressive and natural while still being fast.
Comment about the last story though. Mitch's behavior doesn't make sense at all given what happened. And in my experience, if something doesn't add up, there's information missing. I'm not saying it's impossible for Mitch to be just that stubborn and obtuse, but it's also possible that OP left things out (see Critcrab's Ross saga. Although this OP doesn't seem nearly as bad as Ross Saga's OP).
The slow shift in the intro voice from normal voice to neckbeard voice... *chef's kiss*
I'm an asexual trans lesbian, which wouldn't be important for any D&D story, but it became pertinent with one player I've met. He would always try to hit on my characters (even if they had the same romantic and sexual attraction as me) and would always make me uncomfortable. Luckily the DM always stopped it before it got to far with interruptions (NPCs, BBEG, narration, etc). However, as awkward as that was, it only got worse over time. I hadn't told anyone that I was trans yet because it's kind of scary to disclose that with people you're not sure about. Well, everyone soon found out when he got weird. I don't remember the specifics, but he asked if a female NPC one day had anything "extra". When the DM asked what he meant, he said "You know, like a penis. A 'Japanese f-word used as a slur for trans women', like that." I couldn't take it and said, "We're called trans women, or transfemme if you're nonbinary, not (repeat of word)." I had just outed myself in front of 6 (at the time I thought were cishet men [turns out later on one would come out as a transfemme nonbinary and one of those men was actually a bisexual trans man the DM was good friends with and already knew that]). This problem player then said after a moment of silence, "Wait, so you got a penis? That's really hot." DM kicked him on the spot. So that's how I met these wonderful people that are my friends (I just went out of state to visit one of them and went to a lesbian concert with them). Now, as a DM, I lay down who I am at the table and what I will not tolerate, and if a player deviates into that with some gross behavior, I kick them on the spot. I also keep an actual mace next to my chair to dissuade any bigots who decide to get physical (I have yet to get anything more than verbal slurs but after a friend of mine got attacked for being LGBTQ+, I decided to keep it out just in case).
Sorry for the long story, but just hearing all these sexually charged problem players really made me want to talk about my own experience
You have the strength of a goddess bc I would have thrown punches when I heard the “that’s really hot” part
Ngl, the map scribbling part sounds like my group, I can't stop laughing
1st story
Dm is as much of a problem as neckbeard how anyone could possibly think his actions are nothing short of creepy and hostile is beyond me.
You know crispy I've liked you for awhile, but knowing you're destiny fan too I'm here for the long haul
It kinda sounds like Mitch doesn't really understand the difference between a TTRPG and a video game. He was playing that more like a strictly linear action game than anything else.
The DM was asking him to ROLE play, but all Mitch seemed to hear was ROLL play. Not really surprising he'd basically keep asking what dice he's supposed to use for that and get frustrated no one would give him an answer to that question.
Daam the voice twist on history one.
THAT VOICE CHANGE IN THE BEGGINING LMA9
A couple times that I accidentally managed to roleplay my way out of a situation by blurting out something so stupid that the DM let me win because I made him laugh. The first time, I was in character and I didn't realize until after I spoke that I had misinterpreted an NPC's comment.
The other time was:
Other Player: *tries to bribe customs inspector*
DM: "Is this a bribe?"
Me: "That depends. Is it working?"