Wow. I never knew to get him to do even just do chores was so important. I'm not letting him wiggle out of anything anymore, no wonder he doesn't want to try to do anything. Arrg! It's my fault for not pushing hard enough.
@@GodOfMySalvationIsYeshuaYou don’t magically stop growing as a person at adulthood. I am still learning and growing every day. And still learning from my father, too!
Thanks so much for this! I was at a loss as to how to carry on with my sweet shy little boy an it was breaking my heart. So comforting to have practical things to try!
I am raising two kids.. my daughter is little bit shy if she has to meet new situations or new people.. she talks much with me but she tends to be quiet in front of the people.. I need to boost her self-esteem.. this is what I need.. thanks
I find that sports help! When kids do sports, they build confidence and make friends more easily. They will win and lose games, so they are constantly challenging themselves and work towards improving. I wish I knew this sooner!
If only these kinda videos had millions of views this country would be headed to a bright future.. not with Tiktok videos. Prank or dance challenges.. Thank you so much for providing all these Very important educational materials..God Bless.
@lourdessandoval Mine is also 9 and it seems that this year is most challenging to date. This vid was very inspiring. I want to share1 tip: I’ve learned to hold back from critiquing her “ideas” even to help improve them and it’s brought us closer, if that’s even possible. Best of luck w your little girl.!
Amazing! Subscribing! Another tip I found. If a kid is afraid of a new task and heavily avoids, still encourage to do it, just to become familiar. Allow them to repeat the same task after some time. Second time the child will be much less afraid and less avoiding this task. It is because unconsciously the child sees the task as an old friend whom he already met before, so they feel more confident of trying. This is my hypothesis, but I have noticed the tendency with my child who is autistic and can be a great avoider sometimes.
Thank you for this great information, my 9 year old can be quite critical of himself over small things, I'm trying to give him confidence and a capacity to believe in himself with tasks and hobbies. To take on things more than once if he fails. Have a great weekend 🌱☘🌳🌏💚👍🏻
@@LiveOnPurposeTV my 4 yr old used to be very outgoing and suddenly is quiet around her peers in preK but talks to older adults fine . Any videos to help with this?
Thanks for this. I put my daughter in a dance class but she didn't really practice what she was supposed to. All though she is u bothered, I'm quite anxious that she will get embarrassed by not knowing the dance. She still wants to go I was thinking of skipping the class so she won't get embarrassed. Well the embarrassment is my fear and my problem, and if she does, then it may change her behavior the next go around. Sounds like a petty situation but I had a hard time figuring out what to do.
All of the videos on this Chanel are amazing, could you find a way to put subtitles on so it can be reached by a wider community? that would be awesome!!!! thank you for all of your advice!!
nohemi jones, thank you for the kind comment - it's an honor to have you at Live On Purpose TV. We are working on getting subtitles & translations in the future, however we are unable to do that right now.
Live On Purpose TV I am glad that I found your videos, with each of your Videos I get something to learn as a Parent and correct myself and the mistakes that I kept doing all this time and expected my children not to do it but as most of your Videos say ' our Child is What we are ' we as Parents need to first learn a lot of things if we expect our Child to follow us and now I feel am on the right path with your tips and guidance that I get from your Videos I am trying to imply those in my life as well. Wish I would have got these videos long before but Thank God at least now I came across them. Thank you Dr Paul
Thank you for your amazing continuous knowledge, ideas moreover tutoring to maintain my venture to getting more consciously informed and as a consequence spiritually connected.
I'm here yet I'm not a mother but an Eldest Sister 😂 its a big help for me as an Eldest I have a responsibility too towards my younger siblings. Am I right? 🤗
Wow, this is really interesting. My mother tried to keep me safe by dissuading me from ever taking a risk. After I left my controlling xh, I spent about five years reading, googling, thinking......... I felt I knew all about self-esteem, but it was all theory no practice, and I still felt very frightened of life. If somebody said ''go for it'' I still felt like opportunities were for ''other people''. It was only when I stepped out of my comfort zone and took risks (some that payed off and some that didn't) that I began to feel better about myself, like I had some power. I'm so relieved I understand this in time to try and encourage my kids (12 and 15) to face challenges. I won't shame them if they're not ready though. I just watched your confidence for kids clip too and I'm going to encourage my son to build that second ikea desk that arrived today :-p even though the first one is wobbly. He'll make a better go of the second desk! I've watched so much about self-esteem on line and it's rare to see it articulated, that part that self-efficacy plays in how we feel about ourselves. I love your channel. So glad I found it.
"Set them up for success" I'm doing that with chores for my 7 year old. He's recently been diagnosed ADHD, so he's feeling bad because of all the negative feedback he gets at home, and sadly, at home too. kMaking his bed was just too much of a challenge for him and it became a frustration, instead of a success with a reward-based APP. I removed that chore and added something I knew he could handle. Much better outcome. I'm ok with having him try things but if it's creating a negative situation, it's a fail, in my opinion. :-)
I came here to get tips on helping my shy son... And loved seeing alot of Dads in the comment section! Respect and best of luck to all yhe good dads out there!
I dont think my little brother is gonna want to have anything to do with me if I constantly assign him hard tasks he fails in 😂😂 And then I give him the evil smile lol But I'll try these tips anyway....Thanks! **Subscribed**
It's a wonderful and very helpful video, one more thing I want know that how to change/ convert bad memories of a 9yr child into good memories.....because of my health problem I used to shout on my daughter, I was wrong ☹ plz suggest me .....
My 6 year old son has a taekwondo tournament coming up and he has been taking classes for more than a year now.. my husband is quite worried on how my son who is quite shy and has a low self esteem to compete in this tournament.. im having a hard time convincing my husband that we need to let our child experience new challenges in life..
Could you please give some examples of the tasks appropriate for an 11 years old girl. Also my daughter wouldn’t do things like folding her own clothes, washing the dishes, etc. How do I make her do on a regular basis?
Jenny D, consequences would be appropriate for her. She can wash her own clothes, fold them, do dishes, etc. Figure out what she needs to do and then reward her for the behavior you want to see and give consequences for what you don't want to see.
Hi Dr.paul thank you so much for these videos. I am currently working with ethnic minority families who's mother tongue is not English and wondered if I could use these materials and translate them in the appropriate ethnic language.
You could definitely make the principles known to them. Are you talking about putting in subtitles? As long as they are accurate. Thanks for sharing, Senait Carty.
How does this have dislikes? But maybe include a portion which teaches the kid to also view what had occured in this analysis.. i dont have kids.. but i would have wanted this parenting.. I developed low self esteem and cptsd from my formative yrs.. They attempted this with me i guess.. but you cant assume that their style of enforcing this will be subconsciously understood by the kid, due to their over the top methods.. definitely no smiling was involved..
For all the mama bears out there….stand back and give them room to grow. Show them you trust them to do it on their own. Stop doing their projects for them.
Sandra O'Hara, that is a big one for kids, there is just so much out there and they take so much in with social media. You might talk to her about the accounts she follows and see if there are some others that might be better for her. Make sure you compliment her on things having nothing to do with her body type.
I do not ever rescue, never have. however I have one that has to make the same mistakes over and over and over again, then he gets it. or just choses not to listen. what gives? or choses to not want to take responsibility for him self by fallowing the rules like he is suppose to. are jobs as parents also is not to love them but to be their parents first, then maybe be friends.
Someone I knew had a son who always forgot to bring his water bottle to school. So the mom showed up in her pajamas and intentionally looked disheveled with hair and makeup undone and asked the front office if she could personally deliver the water bottle herself to the classroom in front of all her son’s friends. He never forgot it again!
I didnt have it but you got to put your child ahead of yourself. Do you want history to repeat itself? No. Then learn the tools and love wholeheartedly. You want your child to be bright, happy and courageous!
What if the kid decides before hand that i know you will not give me this or take away this. And says you dont love me. He has trouble every day at school and gets angry when said a No go things, and gets very disrespectful towards adults. Get extremely scared during the day and night to be alone. Says I am a bad boy because I was born like this. Says I cant do it or I cant do it right or good and every one calls me dumb. What should I as a parent do to help him. He has, anger management, difance, and not abiding by the rules; problem. He starts with silly stuff and does nit stop till shouted at and that can last for a very long time.
SJay Bokhari, this breaks my heart. What kind of help is he getting? You need to be his cheerleader and show him how his actions affect others. Are there social programs available in your school? Let him know he has value as a human.
Yania Amber, I like to explain things to clarify and bring viewers to the same understanding that I have about an issue before continuing. Thanks for watching.
Came here to learn tips for the children in my life but realizing I needed to hear it for myself 😳 for my inner child
Perfect. We benefit from working on our parenting.
Wow. I never knew to get him to do even just do chores was so important. I'm not letting him wiggle out of anything anymore, no wonder he doesn't want to try to do anything. Arrg! It's my fault for not pushing hard enough.
Never too late, Darkocean S. Your child is lucky to have you.
There is a too late... they grow up
@@GodOfMySalvationIsYeshuaYou don’t magically stop growing as a person at adulthood. I am still learning and growing every day. And still learning from my father, too!
Thanks so much for this! I was at a loss as to how to carry on with my sweet shy little boy an it was breaking my heart. So comforting to have practical things to try!
So glad you found the video, Jay Pow. There are things to try, but we need to know what they are. Glad to have you at Live On Purpose.
I am raising two kids.. my daughter is little bit shy if she has to meet new situations or new people.. she talks much with me but she tends to be quiet in front of the people.. I need to boost her self-esteem.. this is what I need.. thanks
You are very welcome.
My daughter is very shy, she’s 11 years old. She is similar, has a hard time making friends. Did the chores helped your daughter built her confidence?
I find that sports help! When kids do sports, they build confidence and make friends more easily. They will win and lose games, so they are constantly challenging themselves and work towards improving. I wish I knew this sooner!
If only these kinda videos had millions of views this country would be headed to a bright future.. not with Tiktok videos. Prank or dance challenges..
Thank you so much for providing all these Very important educational materials..God Bless.
You are very welcome.
My 9 year old girl is starting to show low self esteem. This is helpful thank you !
Lourdes Sandoval, glad you are there for your daughter.
@lourdessandoval Mine is also 9 and it seems that this year is most challenging to date. This vid was very inspiring.
I want to share1 tip: I’ve learned to hold back from critiquing her “ideas” even to help improve them and it’s brought us closer, if that’s even possible. Best of luck w your little girl.!
Thanks for posting this video! It's something I'm trying to work with my 9 year old!!! Just what I needed to hear!!
Happy parenting Aly! DrPaul
Im hear to help my 9 year old to, i hope it worked for you.
My daughter is 9 too.
me too
Amazing! Subscribing! Another tip I found. If a kid is afraid of a new task and heavily avoids, still encourage to do it, just to become familiar. Allow them to repeat the same task after some time. Second time the child will be much less afraid and less avoiding this task. It is because unconsciously the child sees the task as an old friend whom he already met before, so they feel more confident of trying. This is my hypothesis, but I have noticed the tendency with my child who is autistic and can be a great avoider sometimes.
Olena Shaforost, yes, we need to practice things to feel more familiar with them.
Thank you for your videos it makes me very happy to understand my kids more and get them to be more independent and happy 😃
I'm so glad! Thanks for letting me know. You made my day.
I’ve been watching 2-3 videos everyday religiously. I tried one of ur tip and I must say it worked like a magic. Thank you from my heart.
ZA Naseem, honored to be on your team.
I love how you include examples and ideas for useful tools, like sticker charts. Not something you'll find in cult talk.
Thank you.
Thank you for this great information, my 9 year old can be quite critical of himself over small things, I'm trying to give him confidence and a capacity to believe in himself with tasks and hobbies.
To take on things more than once if he fails.
Have a great weekend 🌱☘🌳🌏💚👍🏻
inkwell flood, thank you. I hope you had a wonderful weekend also.
Did it help?
@@jennyd5728 It's helped, him being involved in team sports has made him shine.
Have a fun weekend Jenny D ✌🏻❤
@@LiveOnPurposeTV my 4 yr old used to be very outgoing and suddenly is quiet around her peers in preK but talks to older adults fine . Any videos to help with this?
Thanks for this. I put my daughter in a dance class but she didn't really practice what she was supposed to. All though she is u bothered, I'm quite anxious that she will get embarrassed by not knowing the dance. She still wants to go I was thinking of skipping the class so she won't get embarrassed. Well the embarrassment is my fear and my problem, and if she does, then it may change her behavior the next go around. Sounds like a petty situation but I had a hard time figuring out what to do.
Stick with it. Sounds like you are figuring it out fine.
Revelatory info thank you so much
You are so welcome
Thanks dearest Dr. always such an eye-opener. Much appreciated👌🏻
And I appreciate you, Candace Liebenberg.
All of the videos on this Chanel are amazing, could you find a way to put subtitles on so it can be reached by a wider community? that would be awesome!!!! thank you for all of your advice!!
nohemi jones, thank you for the kind comment - it's an honor to have you at Live On Purpose TV. We are working on getting subtitles & translations in the future, however we are unable to do that right now.
Thanks a ton Dr Paul for the Parents like us who are lost and need some guidance and tips on Parenting.
You are welcome, Vaishu p. That is why I started the channel, you are not alone. Thanks for being part of Live On Purpose.
Live On Purpose TV
I am glad that I found your videos, with each of your Videos I get something to learn as a Parent and correct myself and the mistakes that I kept doing all this time and expected my children not to do it but as most of your Videos say ' our Child is What we are ' we as Parents need to first learn a lot of things if we expect our Child to follow us and now I feel am on the right path with your tips and guidance that I get from your Videos I am trying to imply those in my life as well. Wish I would have got these videos long before but Thank God at least now I came across them. Thank you Dr Paul
There is a great book called "Self esteem without Selfishness"
Elizabeth Davis, thanks for the recommendation.
Love this channel. Thank you for all your work and advice!
You are so welcome!
Thank you for your amazing continuous knowledge, ideas moreover tutoring to maintain my venture to getting more consciously informed and as a consequence spiritually connected.
Connect to Soul, I'm honored to be on your team. Conscious living and conscious parenting - kind of a big deal! DrPaul
Brilliant!
Sally, thank you.
Thank you Dr Paul, I am learning a lot from ur videos, 👍👍👍👍👍👍🙏🙏🙏🙏
Siham Basi, welcome to Live On Purpose. Watch away and let me know if I am missing a topic.
Thanks for your help
Brilliant, Dr. Paul, thanks. Can't wait to learn more !
Thank you Fox on the rocks - glad you're here! DrPaul
Thank you for this
You are welcome.
I'm here yet I'm not a mother but an Eldest Sister 😂 its a big help for me as an Eldest I have a responsibility too towards my younger siblings. Am I right? 🤗
KYLE KF, families should help one another, but this isn't your responsibility. The best thing you can do is be a good example and supportive.
I love the practical advice, it's been very hard to find on the Internet.
Thanks for watching Tyler! You might also like our Parenting Power-up course - get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com - DrPaul
The way you said, "And as parents, this isn't too hard to come up with, cause we already have things we want them to do!" 😂
Been there. Thanks for watching.
Whoa this is awesome. Watching it to help my grandbabies and yet I got some tips for myself.
That is because principles are true for everyone, the application differs on our age and understanding.
Great information
Thank you
So nice of you
One of the best videos!! 👏
Thank you, mari sua.
Wow, this is really interesting. My mother tried to keep me safe by dissuading me from ever taking a risk. After I left my controlling xh, I spent about five years reading, googling, thinking......... I felt I knew all about self-esteem, but it was all theory no practice, and I still felt very frightened of life. If somebody said ''go for it'' I still felt like opportunities were for ''other people''. It was only when I stepped out of my comfort zone and took risks (some that payed off and some that didn't) that I began to feel better about myself, like I had some power. I'm so relieved I understand this in time to try and encourage my kids (12 and 15) to face challenges. I won't shame them if they're not ready though. I just watched your confidence for kids clip too and I'm going to encourage my son to build that second ikea desk that arrived today :-p even though the first one is wobbly. He'll make a better go of the second desk! I've watched so much about self-esteem on line and it's rare to see it articulated, that part that self-efficacy plays in how we feel about ourselves. I love your channel. So glad I found it.
Thanks AS Stanley - keep on watching and commenting. Glad you're a conscious parent. DrPaul
Thank you
Thank you for being here - honored to be on your team Mujtaba Ahmadi! DrPaul
It really helped my child 🥰😃
Nosizi Mwase, I am so glad.
"Set them up for success" I'm doing that with chores for my 7 year old. He's recently been diagnosed ADHD, so he's feeling bad because of all the negative feedback he gets at home, and sadly, at home too. kMaking his bed was just too much of a challenge for him and it became a frustration, instead of a success with a reward-based APP. I removed that chore and added something I knew he could handle. Much better outcome. I'm ok with having him try things but if it's creating a negative situation, it's a fail, in my opinion. :-)
Keep up the good work Georgeanne! Glad you're here on the channel. DrPaul
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I came here to get tips on helping my shy son... And loved seeing alot of Dads in the comment section!
Respect and best of luck to all yhe good dads out there!
Good stuff! Kids need both parents.
I dont think my little brother is gonna want to have anything to do with me if I constantly assign him hard tasks he fails in 😂😂 And then I give him the evil smile lol
But I'll try these tips anyway....Thanks! **Subscribed**
Nimo Sayeda, welcome to the channel, glad to have you.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you 😁✌️
It's a wonderful and very helpful video, one more thing I want know that how to change/ convert bad memories of a 9yr child into good memories.....because of my health problem I used to shout on my daughter, I was wrong ☹ plz suggest me .....
Start with today and make a good memory, do something positive for her or with her. Build that relationship going forward.
My 6 year old son has a taekwondo tournament coming up and he has been taking classes for more than a year now.. my husband is quite worried on how my son who is quite shy and has a low self esteem to compete in this tournament.. im having a hard time convincing my husband that we need to let our child experience new challenges in life..
floppa box, glad you realize it isn't about coming in 1st, it is more about learning what he can do and having new experiences.
Could you please give some examples of the tasks appropriate for an 11 years old girl. Also my daughter wouldn’t do things like folding her own clothes, washing the dishes, etc. How do I make her do on a regular basis?
Jenny D, consequences would be appropriate for her. She can wash her own clothes, fold them, do dishes, etc. Figure out what she needs to do and then reward her for the behavior you want to see and give consequences for what you don't want to see.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV thank you
This is why i believe extra curricular activities help
Agreed, if you can find the one that lights your child up.
So true!!!!
Glad you enjoyed the video, Tanja Matijevic. Honored to be on your team.
Hi Dr.paul thank you so much for these videos. I am currently working with ethnic minority families who's mother tongue is not English and wondered if I could use these materials and translate them in the appropriate ethnic language.
You could definitely make the principles known to them. Are you talking about putting in subtitles? As long as they are accurate. Thanks for sharing, Senait Carty.
Thank you very much rarly i find sucb a valuable message,can i translate it to arabic and blog it?
Nisrin, you would need to link back to the original message.
How does this have dislikes?
But maybe include a portion which teaches the kid to also view what had occured in this analysis.. i dont have kids.. but i would have wanted this parenting.. I developed low self esteem and cptsd from my formative yrs..
They attempted this with me i guess.. but you cant assume that their style of enforcing this will be subconsciously understood by the kid, due to their over the top methods.. definitely no smiling was involved..
The Soliloquist, thanks for sharing your experiences. Glad you are with us for this part of your journey.
This is 👍 awesome!
Glad you enjoyed the video, William Ridley. Thanks for watching.
For all the mama bears out there….stand back and give them room to grow. Show them you trust them to do it on their own. Stop doing their projects for them.
Agreed. Let the kids figure things out and fail sometimes.
What would be challenging for a 16 year old daughter?
My daughter is 17, to bad I didn’t know about this when she was young.
Pull out the principle and apply it to her.
I meant to also add, I never expect him to do anything he can not handle or has not already shown me that he can do. yet he will screw up anyway.
Yes he will - that provides a powerful opportunity for learning. DrPaul
I have asked :) thanks again
Thanks for watching! DrPaul
that moment when you are the child with the low self esteem but you are an adult now and dont know what to do.
Yes, I get that. It can come back to you in an instant.
My daughter is 12 her self esteem is extremely hurt… she hates me as a mom please help
drama, try implementing some things from the video. Check out others on our playlist.
I believe you have identified the reason why God created this world.
Brilliant! Hey, thanks for watching.
Help! My daughter has body shaming.
Sandra O'Hara, that is a big one for kids, there is just so much out there and they take so much in with social media. You might talk to her about the accounts she follows and see if there are some others that might be better for her. Make sure you compliment her on things having nothing to do with her body type.
What if a child is being bullied by a kid 3 years older than him??
Claudia Rosales, what can you do stop the bullying? I would get clear on what you control and act from there.
I do not ever rescue, never have. however I have one that has to make the same mistakes over and over and over again, then he gets it. or just choses not to listen. what gives? or choses to not want to take responsibility for him self by fallowing the rules like he is suppose to. are jobs as parents also is not to love them but to be their parents first, then maybe be friends.
I always emphasize love first, because that makes everything else we do more powerful. DrPaul
Does that mean if my child forgets her lunch, I can refuse to go to school to drop off her lunch?
amorphous face, yes. It is your choice. They probably won't forget the next time.
Someone I knew had a son who always forgot to bring his water bottle to school. So the mom showed up in her pajamas and intentionally looked disheveled with hair and makeup undone and asked the front office if she could personally deliver the water bottle herself to the classroom in front of all her son’s friends. He never forgot it again!
How do you give Confidence , Self Esteem and Self Worth when you Never Had It Yourself ?
Diana Sasina, you can learn together. You are right, need to fill your bucket.
I didnt have it but you got to put your child ahead of yourself. Do you want history to repeat itself? No.
Then learn the tools and love wholeheartedly. You want your child to be bright, happy and courageous!
What if the kid decides before hand that i know you will not give me this or take away this. And says you dont love me. He has trouble every day at school and gets angry when said a No go things, and gets very disrespectful towards adults. Get extremely scared during the day and night to be alone. Says I am a bad boy because I was born like this. Says I cant do it or I cant do it right or good and every one calls me dumb.
What should I as a parent do to help him. He has, anger management, difance, and not abiding by the rules; problem. He starts with silly stuff and does nit stop till shouted at and that can last for a very long time.
SJay Bokhari, this breaks my heart. What kind of help is he getting? You need to be his cheerleader and show him how his actions affect others. Are there social programs available in your school? Let him know he has value as a human.
I feel this does not apply to the task of bathing the cat...
Perhaps not. Thanks for watching.
I'm wondering if I have good self esteem
Probably ಥ‿ಥ
Lillian ClappZ, i think you do too.
Where can I click for more likes :)
When I figure that out, I will let you know, Pol Treak. For now, I will take the one.
Wow takes 3 minute to get to the point !!!!!!!
Yania Amber, I like to explain things to clarify and bring viewers to the same understanding that I have about an issue before continuing. Thanks for watching.
♥️🤩♥️
Thanks, Sarah.
Live On Purpose TV enjoy your evening 🥰
Our own choices lol
Thanks for watching, Candace.
3 min Christopher Walken took to get to the first point
Nick Dodenc, worth the time? : )