Funny General Speeches - Medieval 2 Total War

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  • Опубликовано: 2 ноя 2024

Комментарии • 928

  • @ethanphilpot7643
    @ethanphilpot7643 8 лет назад +3626

    Rome: "WE FIGHT AND GAIN VICTORY FOR ROME!!
    Medieval 2: " U FOKIN' WAT M8? IL REK U SWER ON ME MUM"

    • @C63Bez
      @C63Bez 8 лет назад +392

      +ethan philpot DO IT FOR YOUR FELLOW ARSE PIRATING ENGLISH BUMJAWS

    • @CplYakob
      @CplYakob 8 лет назад +86

      Clearly that guy was an Admiral, between ships.

    • @anonim0022
      @anonim0022 7 лет назад +9

      KitStuka Do it for the vine! Do it for the dick!

    • @kidthebilly7766
      @kidthebilly7766 7 лет назад +63

      don't forget the ones in rome where they talk about little men on the moon, a guy talks about how he didnt want to be a soldier

    • @Umur64
      @Umur64 7 лет назад +55

      SUMMON THE ELECTOR COUNTS

  • @gooscarguitar
    @gooscarguitar 8 лет назад +1506

    And let's not forget a _fucking_ rare one in Rome 1 where the Roman general goes,
    "Hello. Today we are gathered here to do battle. Regrettable isn't it, but sometimes, you know, life is like that. You have to do something you don't want to do, just because someone is telling you to do it. I didn't want to be here myself, but then my mother told me I'd better make a reasonable show of it all, so here we go then."
    I was outnumbered 3:1 facing half of Carthage's military and fucking smashed them.

    • @markhirsch6301
      @markhirsch6301 8 лет назад +21

      link me to this

    • @gooscarguitar
      @gooscarguitar 8 лет назад +36

      I think it's in some guy's Let's play of Rome 1. I think he called it "mother told me to do it". There's also a few screenshots

    • @CplYakob
      @CplYakob 8 лет назад +279

      I've heard a similar one from a General in my Holy Roman Empire campaign, who had all kinds of "Shy" and "Poor public speaker" negative traits: he stopped several times during his speech to read from his notes ("Erm...it says here....ah yes....") and at the end, there was a smattering of polite clapping.

    • @plcdfa
      @plcdfa 8 лет назад +186

      Haha, in Rome 1 the general's traits influenced the speeches he gave before the battle. If your general had the "crazy" trait (or something similar) he started to talk about purple elephants and little men on the moon. :D

    • @tk421991
      @tk421991 7 лет назад +14

      I remember that one a lot. It came up when a general had the trait for poor public speaking skills.

  • @lionheartx10
    @lionheartx10 9 лет назад +1966

    I love this SOOOOOOO much! hahaha!!!

  • @arn1345
    @arn1345 9 лет назад +2074

    "After all, we have Bohemians to look down upon!"

  • @ArmidasTV
    @ArmidasTV 8 лет назад +1122

    If there will ever be a Medieval 3... These will have to return!

    • @БерекетКанжанов
      @БерекетКанжанов 6 лет назад +19

      Armidas medieval kingdoms mod for Attila at your service

    • @rasplez9889
      @rasplez9889 6 лет назад +24

      Don't count on it.

    • @Josiah_Trelawny1
      @Josiah_Trelawny1 6 лет назад +21

      Richardine Lionheart versus Joan of Arc cause medieval times wasnt diverse enough.

    • @MonguinAssassin
      @MonguinAssassin 4 года назад

      How about Mongol: Total War? I want to see that game! Let's conquer Eurasia, man!

    • @jackdaone6469
      @jackdaone6469 4 года назад +1

      The trading details and several other small things would need to be restored, too. I doubt it.

  • @karlwittenburg5868
    @karlwittenburg5868 10 лет назад +849

    I remember one part of a speech from a German who I think had the alcoholic trait, but he was talking normally and then said GOD'S NIPPLES! WHO TOOK ALL THE ALE? Was it the enemy?

    • @thekaiseriswiser4451
      @thekaiseriswiser4451 9 лет назад +119

      Gott I can never forget that one

    • @lionelhutz5137
      @lionelhutz5137 6 лет назад +9

      HAHAHAHAHA!! WTF

    • @Peachrocks5
      @Peachrocks5 6 лет назад +38

      I like the French Version. "God's bum I've dropped my last bottle... Bugger as the English say...'

    • @archyneverpicked
      @archyneverpicked 6 лет назад +25

      Or with the English "You ever met my wife? Bloody ugly woman!"

  • @Freeze100011
    @Freeze100011 9 лет назад +925

    My favorite part is when the guy just yells.

    • @dolfyhilter577
      @dolfyhilter577 6 лет назад +32

      *AHHHH!*

    • @jainra
      @jainra 4 года назад +7

      I'd go to battle with that in my heart..!

    • @swevixeh
      @swevixeh 3 года назад +3

      "Let me see your war face!"

  • @1234kalmar
    @1234kalmar 8 лет назад +467

    "They used fishers's assholes, in place fo their heads! --- And gained victory as a consequence."
    I WANT to see that battle!

  • @LiezAllLiez
    @LiezAllLiez 10 лет назад +1092

    "After all - we have Bohemians to look down upon" Poor Czechs xD
    But yeah the best (and most fitting) quote ive heard from a general was when i was facing off against the byzantines as poland:
    My "army" comprised of like 70% militia grade units and the remaining 30% were heavy cavalry and dismounted knights.
    The byzantines had... their usual professional stack with some light cav in support.
    The general goes: "My apologies men. I promised you a foe worthy of your mettle. Instead you get this...".

    • @Robin-sf3gk
      @Robin-sf3gk 10 лет назад +68

      With Fire And Sword

    • @umpahm69
      @umpahm69 9 лет назад +38

      In my game they make some professional armies that are impressive to the things i have heard.

    • @nearbypc8314
      @nearbypc8314 7 лет назад +9

      Im Czech man xd Thats not fair :D

    • @damianworek4444
      @damianworek4444 7 лет назад +18

      Kinda late but whatever. To be honest the whole Ai in MTW is retarded. As for the island invasion I noticed that they seem to like invadin with just catapults and stuff. I remember when Moors attacked one of my island near Italy. What they brought was exactly like in your case 70% artilery all kinds and rest was some cav and skirmishers. This kinda attitude makes you want to play against some real people I guess :D.

    • @bigburd875
      @bigburd875 7 лет назад +1

      LiezAllLiez that's what armies of the time were composed of

  • @cielopachirisu929
    @cielopachirisu929 8 лет назад +499

    I like to imagine everybody here in the same place, about to begin a five-or-six way battle.
    Except the Egyptian guy is lost and wound up in a desert somewhere.

    • @IPFreelly604
      @IPFreelly604 8 лет назад +75

      The Medieval:Battle of the five kings

    • @kodan7879
      @kodan7879 5 лет назад +25

      THIS IS THE ONLY EXPLANATION

    • @Sassy_Witch
      @Sassy_Witch 5 лет назад +7

      God that'd make an amazing movie scene

  • @enjoythestruggle
    @enjoythestruggle 8 лет назад +454

    I loved that the speeches were influenced by the general's traits - if you had a scarred general he would say something like 'Some people call me UGLY, but I just smile!'
    I also love whenever you're fighting the Mongols and your generals says 'Pity them! Pity the horses, who have to carry such bony arses!' xD
    And my all-time favourite: 'Over there stands a miserable collection of sausage-eating, bear-swilling imperial puddingheads!'

    • @sosig6445
      @sosig6445 6 лет назад +32

      "there are two types of people, spanish people and people who kill spanish people"

    • @the_rover1
      @the_rover1 6 лет назад +2

      glasgow smile/chelsea grin :D

  • @Hawkeye04300
    @Hawkeye04300 8 лет назад +960

    The best one by far: "...AAHHH"

  • @thedistur6edguy189
    @thedistur6edguy189 10 лет назад +321

    I was playing as the Welsh vs the English, and my general said:
    Well, smack my arse and call me Fedilla, I see an enemy worthy of fighting

    • @jonathanwells223
      @jonathanwells223 3 года назад +4

      Is Fedilla the name of his sheep?

    • @carlosbalazs2492
      @carlosbalazs2492 3 года назад +4

      I thought it was "call me for dinner"?

    • @sethguest781
      @sethguest781 5 месяцев назад

      When the Welsh are around, there's gonna be h@!! to pay! The enemy will surely find their selves getting extremely frustrated fighting those bad@$$es! The Welsh, Scottish, Irish, no one you wanna screw with if you're spoiling for a fight with neighbors you insanely despise!

  • @someidiotfromover7yearsago
    @someidiotfromover7yearsago 10 лет назад +237

    HRE
    "and at the las- GODS NIPPLES! Is that all the wine?... who... Who drank it all?!"

    • @Morslyte
      @Morslyte 9 лет назад +17

      HRE says bier.

  • @A-Disappointed-Horse
    @A-Disappointed-Horse 10 лет назад +1979

    As much as I love this, what the hell were CA thinking when they wrote this?

    • @LegendofTotalWar
      @LegendofTotalWar  10 лет назад +1791

      This is the kind of stuff CA should be putting into the recent titles. The extra details that don't mean anything but are enjoyable none the less.

    • @A-Disappointed-Horse
      @A-Disappointed-Horse 10 лет назад +528

      LegendofTotalWar Exactly, I miss this kind of thing. Speeches in Rome 2 are pathetic.

    • @Epic0201
      @Epic0201 10 лет назад +25

      Necrojax Well, in french, their speech are quite funny x)
      By the way, here -> /watch?v=BngPQTFQ1OU
      ^^

    • @A-Disappointed-Horse
      @A-Disappointed-Horse 10 лет назад +147

      ***** Although some of those are good, they're no 'AHHH!'

    • @noahmiller6194
      @noahmiller6194 10 лет назад +193

      Medieval 2 total war is made by a different studio that got shut down by Sega.

  • @HalstenSnowborn
    @HalstenSnowborn 10 лет назад +166

    I was really hoping for the French general to make a Monty Python reference "I fart in your general direction, your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"

  • @ironsidemedia
    @ironsidemedia 10 лет назад +170

    "Now go away or I will taunt you a second time!"

    • @ghostdragon8214
      @ghostdragon8214 9 лет назад +18

      Probably a reference to monty python: holy grail. The french taunter

    • @callusklaus2413
      @callusklaus2413 9 лет назад +2

      Copper Star Oh my God, you're right!

    • @Pizzaman-ii9cd
      @Pizzaman-ii9cd 9 лет назад +2

      Yup it the monty Python and the holy grail. meow

    • @k1er4n544
      @k1er4n544 7 лет назад +1

      I WILL FART in you're general direction xD

  • @Scott15s
    @Scott15s 10 лет назад +167

    0:43 "Do it for a laugh! Do it for your poxed mum. Do it for your fellow ass pirating English bum jaws!". My favorite line XD

    • @kekero540
      @kekero540 7 лет назад +2

      Scott Foris (lord harrowsfield the grand commander of the most honorable English army of brave and strong men)

    • @scepticsquirrel
      @scepticsquirrel 5 лет назад

      @@kekero540 He looks so Irish.

  • @EMan-1920
    @EMan-1920 9 лет назад +241

    Some of these reminded me of Team Fortress slams. SOLDIER: "Scotland is not a real country, you are an English man wearing a dress!"

    • @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932
      @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932 8 лет назад +1

      +E Man No, just no. No TF references, it's a dumb game filled with assholes.

    • @MasterBakerIsHigh
      @MasterBakerIsHigh 8 лет назад

      +Lucas Dumoulin +1

    • @EMan-1920
      @EMan-1920 8 лет назад +18

      Lucas Dumoulin Ah, but you see, that's the beauty of this internet, and I got more where that came from...

    • @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932
      @durrrhurrrderpderpderp9932 8 лет назад

      Oh no, save me!

    • @EMan-1920
      @EMan-1920 8 лет назад +8

      Lucas Dumoulin Nah, to each their own I say. I'm no fan of the TF2 community (mostly consisting of 13 year olds), but I love the personalities that Valve gave them.

  • @MrPerson61
    @MrPerson61 10 лет назад +220

    lol the guy at 0:41
    AAH. nothing more

    • @mattwells5347
      @mattwells5347 7 лет назад +10

      His great words have inspired me so much!

    • @williamwhite4840
      @williamwhite4840 5 лет назад +6

      The awkward half second of silence right before lol

  • @pedrojoao6790
    @pedrojoao6790 7 лет назад +114

    0:41 When you urgently need new generals and recruit an Ork.

  • @tenchimuyo69
    @tenchimuyo69 8 лет назад +289

    My generals are always sane and rational... its kind of boring.
    What is a historically accurate nobility class without incest induced mental and physical disorders?

    • @CollinBuckman
      @CollinBuckman 8 лет назад +107

      There wasn't THAT much incest unless you're, wait for it, the Habsburgs.

    • @tenchimuyo69
      @tenchimuyo69 8 лет назад +25

      Probably also Romanov.. Not technically Middle ages royalty but still.
      It comes down to keeping wealth in the family.
      Something I'm sure you are already aware the Habsburgs were very good at.
      British royalty doesn't avoid it either... but only because our modern standards of what incest means is different.

    • @senorpaella1492
      @senorpaella1492 8 лет назад +13

      Incest is best fam xD

    • @guilherme77088
      @guilherme77088 8 лет назад +2

      Says Philip ;P

    • @ThatGuy-yi2hv
      @ThatGuy-yi2hv 7 лет назад +9

      *wincest

  • @therealoldnosey8689
    @therealoldnosey8689 8 лет назад +146

    I'll never get enough Medieval 2 or Rome 1.

  • @ethanlynch908
    @ethanlynch908 7 лет назад +98

    General: I have seen priest's arseholes-
    Me: Let me stop you right there...

    • @obijuanquenobi1911
      @obijuanquenobi1911 4 года назад +12

      That’s quite the childhood experience

    • @addochandra4745
      @addochandra4745 2 года назад +5

      @@obijuanquenobi1911 Maybe he was a Choir Boy ancillary...

  • @ethanphilpot7643
    @ethanphilpot7643 9 лет назад +89

    This is only the second reason why this is my favorite title in the series

    • @Sagemaster00
      @Sagemaster00 9 лет назад +1

      Whats your first?

    • @ethanphilpot7643
      @ethanphilpot7643 9 лет назад +15

      The medieval setting. Rome 1 is great, but I just feel so much more attached to the game. That and the fact that a city can recruit more than one unit at a time. That was a huge fucking plus

    • @Sagemaster00
      @Sagemaster00 9 лет назад +2

      This was my first total war game so This game will always have a special place in my heart. Thou rome 1 was a classic aswell. I wish Rome 2 was more like it.

    • @mivapusa
      @mivapusa 9 лет назад +2

      +ethan philpot I still kinda wish they'd kept the "allow you to enter your own city" thing from Rome 1. I enjoyed watching those little npc's scurry around like ants.
      And I'd like to see the dress-up for Medieval's citizens

  • @bradroff8575
    @bradroff8575 10 лет назад +41

    I love the short cut to the HRE general who is silent for a tick, then yells "AAAAAA"

  • @Corvito_
    @Corvito_ 9 лет назад +130

    My favorite moment: 0:41
    (silent) ARRRGH

  • @JohnathanLeeSprite
    @JohnathanLeeSprite 8 лет назад +41

    "You all rook arike to me!"
    Says a Mongolian general when you click on him on the campaign map.

  • @lechevalier-ns2pt
    @lechevalier-ns2pt 9 лет назад +112

    The most f***** up speech ever
    French General : we're all gonna die !!
    Troops : YEEAAAAAAA

    • @CRob172
      @CRob172 7 лет назад +9

      lechevalier6661 yep, definitely the French lol

    • @ingold1470
      @ingold1470 4 года назад +5

      Just like LOTR, right?

  • @felipe21279
    @felipe21279 8 лет назад +44

    And we didn't even started talking about the pre-battle animations. Some guys just turn their ass to the enemy and start slapping it...Scots for the most part.
    I wonder if that scene in "Braveheart" has something to do with it...

  • @peet556
    @peet556 7 лет назад +149

    1:35
    >Being Bohemian
    >Hearing this
    >**TRIGGERED**

    • @LichlordKazam
      @LichlordKazam 4 года назад +2

      Hey, we need someone to look down upon right?

    • @tyrian_baal
      @tyrian_baal 4 года назад +1

      Time to look down upon you, you Bohemian

    • @o9577
      @o9577 4 года назад

      @Billy But Whole who is not decadent in this age? :DD

    • @scepticsquirrel
      @scepticsquirrel 4 года назад +1

      @@LichlordKazam Don't you already have (Slovaks)?

  • @720pgang8
    @720pgang8 7 лет назад +27

    The voice actors seemed to enjoy themselves, to say the least.

  • @patrickdeoliveira75
    @patrickdeoliveira75 8 лет назад +260

    It' nice to see that this game recognizes the cultural differences between the Spanish, Portuguese, Italians, and Greeks. Oh wait, never mind

    • @zigguratzigguratziggurat6922
      @zigguratzigguratziggurat6922 8 лет назад +70

      Oh c'mon, the studio wasn't as big then, they didn't have as many resources. I find it more insulting that the Moors, Egyptians and Turks all have the same voice anyway. Well, I find more than anything, the Italians, Germans, French, Engish and Scottish have more speeches. They'd have unique ones for each faction you fight, if the settlement you're attacking is the last settlement of a faction or if you're fighting a huge portion of their army.

    • @radu7907
      @radu7907 7 лет назад +46

      yeah, but they concentrated too much on that and the gameplay is much better in medieval 2 total war. And also the studio back then wasnt very big and they didnt have all the resources to make all the units unique etc. In gameplay wise it beats rome by alot

    • @KVirello
      @KVirello 7 лет назад +4

      Do you know what the going rate is for voice actors? Some accents are easy enough to fake, and those that weren't were too expensive to hire people for.

    • @Scientist118
      @Scientist118 6 лет назад +4

      @@KVirello
      Well, if you listen closely to the French general, his voice can be easily recognized in the Warhammer Total War games when you're playing the Bretonnians.

    • @shoopoop21
      @shoopoop21 6 лет назад +4

      Did you just try and argue Rome 2 was better than M2? Get off the crack pipe. And for the record, factional symmetry in M2 is less rigid than in AoE2, and both those games are great. If you want to play starcraft, go do so.

  • @TheReaper569
    @TheReaper569 6 лет назад +18

    "i ve seen gardeners arse holes with more puke stains."
    -"good arguments have been advanced"
    Yes, philosophy.

  • @thunder230mph6
    @thunder230mph6 7 лет назад +22

    I think some of the CA crew were Monty Python fans, it certainly shows through the generals' dialogue here!

    • @MonguinAssassin
      @MonguinAssassin 4 года назад

      This game does share with Monty Python a bit of historical accuracy towards the Middle Ages. Launching a plague cow is an option on the battlefield when commanding a trebuchet.

  • @BonBon3589
    @BonBon3589 10 лет назад +43

    Now go a-way or I shall taunt you a second time!

  • @audeobellicus
    @audeobellicus 4 года назад +27

    “Who used fishes asses in place of their heads!!-
    -And Gaines victory as a consequence!!”
    I’m losing it 🤣🤣

  • @EmilKadabell
    @EmilKadabell 9 лет назад +56

    0:38.. "Good arguments have been advanced"... HAHAHAHAHA!!!

  • @Lksupasteien
    @Lksupasteien 8 лет назад +35

    I feel an inspiring speech coming on

  • @Traindriver321
    @Traindriver321 10 лет назад +53

    Heres a good speach that an armenian general said before the battle of Avarayr
    You men might think our foes are brave to come out and fight our undefeatable army, but, you are wrong to think that! They are cowards! because suicide, IS THE COWARDS WAY OUT!!! CHARGE!!!!!!!!
    Heres the way the battle went :
    Armenia - 66,000 men
    Persia - 220,000 men + war elephants
    Victor - Armenia with 7 soldiers remaining.... 7 fucking dudes.....

    • @Traindriver321
      @Traindriver321 10 лет назад +2

      Wiki knows it all: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Avarayr#mediaviewer/File:Battle_of_Avarayr.gif
      Although it didn't mention anything about the 7 dudes I mentioned and it claims that the Persians won the battle but I call that bullshit if the armenians lost why the hell did persia agree to the previous demands of the people to allow christianity? I guess Iran wouldn't like to have the public know it was defeated by a pathetic nation like armenia :P

    • @ThatCamel104
      @ThatCamel104 10 лет назад +2

      White Dragon Iran right now doesn't care about the losses of previous persias, as those were not led under the glorious hand of Allah, rather the false gods of the Zoroastrians.
      tl;dr armenia fucking lost bro

    • @Traindriver321
      @Traindriver321 10 лет назад +4

      Well I'm 25% Persian and I can speak a bit Persian and read Persian numbers. I'm from Hadan, its near Tehran. And in the long run, Armenia lost a lot, and I mean a LOT! 90% of our lands were occupied and sacked. I know very well that Armenia lost, but at least we went down heroically.

  • @ryanash123r
    @ryanash123r 9 лет назад +15

    My favorite was when I was England and my gen said about the HRE "there all just sausage eating dancing little weasels"

  • @Baseball5581
    @Baseball5581 8 лет назад +21

    LMAO, The English commander (The first one that you see) cracks me up the most. He's got the best insults and he appears a lot in this video. "I've seen donkey's assholes with more guts than those tosspots!" lmfao

  • @sultandocteur4636
    @sultandocteur4636 7 лет назад +22

    0:37 I lost it at "good arguments have been advance"

  • @ryanbaylis1923
    @ryanbaylis1923 9 лет назад +14

    this and some of the stuff soldiers say to each other in the newer games are fucking gold

    • @boldlybravo2492
      @boldlybravo2492 8 лет назад +3

      +Cheese Sandwich I played rome 2 and one soldier said to another "if we survive this i'll buy you all the whores you can eat" I dont know why I found that funny :p

    • @phile1832
      @phile1832 8 лет назад +1

      omg XD XD

  • @BifronsCandle
    @BifronsCandle 9 лет назад +56

    I'm hoping the Orcs and Goblins campaign in W:TW will have funny speeches like these.

    • @luigiforsthoffer
      @luigiforsthoffer 8 лет назад +19

      They didn't, there is no attention to detail!

    • @BifronsCandle
      @BifronsCandle 8 лет назад +2

      Toyosatomimi Miko Actually, quest battles have speeches.

    • @luigiforsthoffer
      @luigiforsthoffer 8 лет назад +9

      But they aren't as hilarious as this.

    • @iguanacamuflada1060
      @iguanacamuflada1060 8 лет назад +3

      BOYZ

    • @RocketHarry865
      @RocketHarry865 7 лет назад

      real shame. It would been pretty funny to have the greenskins have such speechs

  • @MultiGamer20211
    @MultiGamer20211 10 лет назад +42

    Watch with captions. It's hilarious! XD

    • @heynub1233
      @heynub1233 10 лет назад +7

      watch it half speed LOL

    • @YuriPRIMErpg
      @YuriPRIMErpg 9 лет назад +3

      heynub123 I die laughing XDStoned posh people talk about arses :D

    • @flaviusaetius2945
      @flaviusaetius2945 6 лет назад

      Bombs tree Father and Codpiece Steve’s

  • @LogicalMan6
    @LogicalMan6 3 года назад +3

    The good ol' days when drinking before battle wasn't frowned upon, but encouraged

  • @CollinBuckman
    @CollinBuckman 4 года назад +15

    "Bum-sniffers!"
    "Who used fishes' asses in place of their heads-"
    "And gained victory as a consequence."
    Hey, as long as it works.

  • @jackiechen5692
    @jackiechen5692 9 лет назад +27

    0:42 Great speech bro.

  • @joshuacooke5730
    @joshuacooke5730 7 лет назад +8

    0:41 *takes slight breath* AGH!
    Best speech I have ever heard. I bet his men think he is a God among men

  • @Brandon210-q4n
    @Brandon210-q4n 9 лет назад +43

    This sounds like an argument between several teenagers.

    • @danielbartleson5746
      @danielbartleson5746 8 лет назад +52

      Teenagers don't have that much vocabulary.

    • @damianjblack
      @damianjblack 5 месяцев назад

      ​@@danielbartleson5746they did in the 90s

  • @QuesoPortSalut
    @QuesoPortSalut 10 лет назад +21

    This is pretty much what most of the total war community thinks of CA after rome 2 now =/
    BUMBSNIFERRSS!!!

  • @dolfyhilter577
    @dolfyhilter577 6 лет назад +15

    0:41 soldier: general?
    Random general: AHHHHH!?

  • @shmuelp4504
    @shmuelp4504 7 лет назад +13

    "OKAY, we get it you've seen a lot of assholes"- The troops.

  • @TimestopperHay
    @TimestopperHay 9 лет назад +51

    man, the english sure have a lot to say about their enemies XD

    • @mivapusa
      @mivapusa 9 лет назад +4

      +Imperator Times so do the French

  • @Donnerbalken28
    @Donnerbalken28 3 года назад +5

    0:11 King Louen, what are you doing in real France?!

  • @leergut6022
    @leergut6022 7 лет назад +6

    1:23
    "moon-faced winkle sucking goat gobbling codpiece Steves"

  • @4Signe
    @4Signe 10 лет назад +4

    Well, I recently discovered the speeches (played about... 80 hours?), but now I feel obligated to listen to them every time I battle. Damn you! :D

  • @TheGhostbuster1989
    @TheGhostbuster1989 11 лет назад +60

    Politics in a nutshell :)

    • @MonguinAssassin
      @MonguinAssassin 4 года назад

      Admit it, the Total War franchise taught me politics and war are completely inseparable. These generals are politicians after all on the campaign map.

  • @Priyo866
    @Priyo866 5 лет назад +7

    General speeches in newer TW games are more powerful and emotional in nature, but they are a bit too brief and short and the fun long rambles like these.
    I used to make insane inbred angry generals just to hear them talk like this. I miss doing that.

  • @barker505
    @barker505 7 лет назад +3

    I think you get a lot of these ones if your general has the 'foul mouthed' or 'insane' traits which is a great bit of immersion that CA put in

  • @iamplay797
    @iamplay797 9 лет назад +8

    haha this is the stuff that made med2 n rome 1 so fun and amusing brings back memories cheers legend

  • @razmushansen3629
    @razmushansen3629 10 лет назад +32

    Reminds me of Monty Python

  • @johnroscoe2406
    @johnroscoe2406 5 лет назад +4

    What pisses me off in M2TW is I will often get generals with some of the traits for goofy/weird/funny/bad/rambling/drunk/violent speeches, but they never make them. Just the ordinary ones.

  • @macped6751
    @macped6751 7 лет назад +8

    0:41 AAAAH-papel states General 1281Clap clap would listen to againBest speech 1281420/360

  • @TheLonePatrol
    @TheLonePatrol 10 лет назад +20

    lol, "TURN HIS BALLS TO WATER", Scottish is the best!

    • @argonianjoe
      @argonianjoe 10 лет назад +15

      THE GERMANS KNOW A THING OR TWO ABOUT TOSSPOTS!

    • @TheLonePatrol
      @TheLonePatrol 10 лет назад +1

      argonianjoe lol

    • @specialop213
      @specialop213 10 лет назад +15

      Bowels, not balls

    • @gooscarguitar
      @gooscarguitar 9 лет назад

      argonianjoe Would it then be Toßpots in German?

    • @argonianjoe
      @argonianjoe 9 лет назад

      FlipUltraHD Sadly I don't have those keys on my board

  • @GamerZHuB512
    @GamerZHuB512 9 лет назад +18

    Let's not forget the one that goes: "SNAKESNAKESNAKE OH MY GOD TAKE IT AWAY!"

    • @mauzer4457
      @mauzer4457 8 лет назад +2

      Never heard it nor found a video of it :(

    • @mrorlov2706
      @mrorlov2706 6 лет назад

      ruclips.net/video/vRCSlk0l3Qk/видео.html

    • @thecatfather857
      @thecatfather857 5 лет назад

      @@mrorlov2706 OMG lmfao

  • @KaelusVonSestiaf
    @KaelusVonSestiaf 5 лет назад +3

    "After all... We have bohemians to look down upon."
    What a legend

  • @dantchernov4532
    @dantchernov4532 9 лет назад +20

    0:41 so his speech is a scream?

  • @golong13
    @golong13 6 лет назад +1

    I miss these General Speech. I never skipped them. Its these little things, details that make M2TW great.

  • @thetimuridhorde9539
    @thetimuridhorde9539 7 лет назад +16

    1:30 Kermit the frog under that armour?

  • @gamprhabanero5351
    @gamprhabanero5351 8 лет назад +2

    Their voice actors sounded like they were having a blast with this.

  • @gooscarguitar
    @gooscarguitar 9 лет назад +5

    It reminds me of the abuse room in Monty Python's Argument Clinic...

  • @stefanarneson4877
    @stefanarneson4877 7 лет назад +2

    One of my favorite lines that a general says (not in the speech but when loading for it) is 'There is no dishonor in winning, man! So do it which ever way you can!' idk why but that always puts a smile on my face :D

  • @fae1magalokreas
    @fae1magalokreas 3 года назад +5

    The French general is hilarious XD "I am a well read man"

  • @robbob8731
    @robbob8731 2 года назад +1

    “I was intending not to speak today, but my mother said I should go out and make a show of it all, so… Here we are!”

  • @snellers
    @snellers 7 лет назад +4

    should have ended with
    " Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries! "

  • @WildBillCox13
    @WildBillCox13 7 лет назад +1

    "The life of a codpiece thief was admittedly not as lustrous as the recruiting posters suggested." -Sir William Marshal

  • @Ultraelectromagnetic
    @Ultraelectromagnetic 9 лет назад +3

    Watched this multiple times as inspiration for my Medieval Europe exam today. :)

  • @JamaicanCastle
    @JamaicanCastle 7 лет назад +2

    I am intensely disappointed that the Moon People didn't make an appearance, if only in counterpoint. Just have that one loony guy, and everyone else is "..." for a good 30 seconds, then back to insults.

  • @McgoganLives
    @McgoganLives 10 лет назад +8

    Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time!

  • @BarackObama-cr8xe
    @BarackObama-cr8xe 9 лет назад

    Of the countless hours of total war content I have watched on RUclips, this video, from the time I saw it two years ago, retains the number one spot.

  • @valentinidk6101
    @valentinidk6101 7 лет назад +9

    "I've seen priests arseholes"
    wait

    • @damianjblack
      @damianjblack 5 месяцев назад

      Well England WAS Catholic back then. 😂😂

  • @ThudFudgins
    @ThudFudgins 4 года назад +1

    The one dude who just yells, just straight yells XD

  • @dylanmilne6683
    @dylanmilne6683 4 года назад +5

    I love how it's all just English people doing somewhat offensive accents

  • @rymd100
    @rymd100 3 года назад +1

    1:06 "our enemies are sunbaked and mad from it", pretty strong words coming from a crazy general living in a fucking desert

  • @fela001
    @fela001 9 лет назад +17

    my favorite 0:42 "Aaah!"

  • @Hedhnter
    @Hedhnter 7 лет назад +1

    my favorite general across all total war games was this deviant roman who gained progressively more intense "bloodthirsty" traits as time went on. He started off talking about prostitutes, but by the time the germans were annexed he would begin battles by simply screaming "BLOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!"
    He was getting old so I tried to get Khorne's roman avatar to die in battle before age got him, but he seriously just kept winning no matter how stacked the odds were against him (I sent him alone against 16 stacks) eventually I just settled him somewhere with a nice brothel, but I don't know how his new traits conflicted with the enjoyment of that. I shudder at the implications.

  • @TheRoachDoggJR
    @TheRoachDoggJR 8 лет назад +23

    "AAAAAAAAAA!" -Sicilian general's speech, 0:41

  • @biggycheese4443
    @biggycheese4443 7 лет назад +1

    LOL IT LOOKS LIKE THERE LIKE 600 people genrals saying shit to each other and the troops are like wtf is tthis

  • @RobertsonIsland
    @RobertsonIsland 3 года назад +3

    Its always weird hearing a legendary lords voice on a generic character, like Louen Leonceur is the french general and in rome 2 im pretty sure kark franz’ voice is in there

  • @destroyerofskulls3036
    @destroyerofskulls3036 7 лет назад +5

    'Arse Weasels' deserves to become a meme.

  • @420thlegioner8
    @420thlegioner8 6 лет назад +3

    General, give us some brave words and talk shit to the enemy.
    0:42 "AHH!"

  • @ПавлоРубанов
    @ПавлоРубанов 3 года назад +1

    If your Total War game doesn't have this kind of general speeches, - i won't buy it!

  • @comandantephobos4604
    @comandantephobos4604 9 лет назад +9

    that's why I miss the general speeches in Rome II

    • @Sagemaster00
      @Sagemaster00 9 лет назад

      The generals have speeches it's right after you begin the battle thou

    • @emirhaneksioglu4503
      @emirhaneksioglu4503 9 лет назад +2

      Tape Culture Yes, they have speeches and they are terrible.

    • @Sagemaster00
      @Sagemaster00 9 лет назад +1

      Warhammer Total war brought them back.

    • @emirhaneksioglu4503
      @emirhaneksioglu4503 9 лет назад

      Tape Culture I know, and boy am I glad it did. Been a fan of Warhammer for more than a decade. I'm hyped for it, hope they don't make it a mess like rome 2.

    • @Sagemaster00
      @Sagemaster00 9 лет назад

      emirhan ekşioğlu I loved Warhammer 40k for a decade but I wasn't too big on the original, thou now I wanna get into it just because it looks really interesting.

  • @rajjain6273
    @rajjain6273 3 года назад +1

    Where's the "Beer-swilling, sausage-eating, Imperial pudding-heads"..?

  • @JBGARINGAN
    @JBGARINGAN 7 лет назад +9

    This reminds me of the French in Monty Python.

  • @tylerkoss620
    @tylerkoss620 7 лет назад +2

    That moment when you hear the voices of Karl Franz and Louen Leoncour

  • @ryanlorenzo5003
    @ryanlorenzo5003 7 лет назад +5

    0:41 is me.
    *Breathes in.*
    "AAARRGHH!-"

  • @jaxionmaxomus4315
    @jaxionmaxomus4315 5 лет назад +2

    PLEASE BRING THIS FEATURE BACK, a mod would fit fine