Child Abuse Survivor interview-Grant
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- Опубликовано: 16 май 2023
- Soft White Underbelly interview and portrait of Grant, a survivor of sexual abuse from his mother.
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Thank you all for watching my video and for your outpouring of love and support. It means a lot to me in ways hard to describe. I honest to God wasn’t expecting this. To those suffering in silence: you may feel alone but you are never alone. Hope you get some help.
Grant... I've had a very different trauma experience, but everything you say, your journey, your perspective... It's me. The core wound is the same. It's exactly me. I think I was meant to find this so I could see someone say my thoughts out loud. Thank you for sharing. Wishing you continued healing.
I love you stranger
@@87laufer same
xoxox my heart goes out to you
Sending so much love and light your way!! You’re a beautiful soul worthy of everything!! Xoxo
He was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused by his mom and his dad let it happen- why are we giving them props for putting a roof over his head and paying for his college?????
Just a thought but it shows that these abusive homes are not all hell. They can be and in basic ways, are normal. Very deceiving. Also the combination of abuse and care is can create an extremely strong bond.
Because some people in the world won't even do that for their children. As a survivor, he recognizes parents humanity as victims. Making him more whole, and healing his heart. It's hard to come to terms with the fact that our parents are human, too. They fuck up all the damn time, but realizing this helps with recovery, because you then approach them as an individual. Also by recognizing the good things makes you appreciate survival all the more, because far more people have far less. It makes you grateful and take the bad with the good. Abusers were usually victims before they ever became abusive. Anyways, it's just so much deeper than that. In my opinion. They're not good people, but they are definitely people. Just like you and I.
Òķoòooòòokoòkķòòkòoķooooohkoooóooooooòòòķohoòoppoopoloooooòoooòoòòooiòòòkoòòoòòóòoòòóoòlòooòiooòòòòòòoòoòòòòooòoooòoòoòoooouoo@@kasondraavalos8201
Exactly what I thought , like he said “so they weren’t all that bad “ like what the f do you mean YES THEY WERE
This might sound backwards, but sometimes an inconsistent home life/parent-child relationship is harder than a completely negative one, because the mixed signals are extremely difficult for a young person to process and understand. It’s an emotional rollercoaster x100.
Mark, fuuuck.... I know sometimes we say things not meaning anything by it - when you said "so your parents weren't all that bad" my stomach dropped...
When you sexually abusive your OWN child(ern) physically and mentally all while the "parents" still providing a roof over your head, shelter, food and education - well, fact check, thats the god damn bare minimum your parents should provide you as a child!!! Are you fucking kidding me.
When Grant said "well thats whats confusing about it, and where the guilt comes in" No Grant. Thats not your guilt to carry. Thats her bullshit. Always remember that.
Im sorry no one protected you as a child. I hope you continue to heal and thank you for sharing your story.
I was thinking the same thing. Like for example .. who gives a fuck if they took him to Disney world every dam weekend!!! No fucking way man, they are very bad people the dad let it happen and the mom was doing that shit to him, so they are bad people most definitely. This man pulled him self up and is just living, and that's enough never. apologize ever.
Agreed.
exactly
I felt the same. And when Grant asked for some time to stop and decompress because he was getting overwhelmed and he only got a couple of seconds before being asked the clarifying question of if he was raped in the classroom. Come on man, you've been doing these interviews for a while now, you should know what you shouldn't say to a survivor.
I think all the interviewer was pointing out is that his parents didn’t fail in some other areas of his life. Which is surprising considering considering how insane they were. I wouldn’t read that far into it
It is so rare for someone to be able to articulate these experiences or be brave enough to talk about them. I’m so proud of him.
Why are you proud? You had nothing to do with it
@@boorhaave5880Dick!
he didn't really articulate anything other than he hates himself, has sociopathic ideation and tendencies, and he can't remember.
Just because your parents provide you food and shelter (the bare minimum), does NOT mean they are even remotely good parents if they are abusing you. I’m so sorry you went through this. ❤
Thank you 🙏
No shit.Thank you for pointing that out!
@@robbikarboski6888 Well as obvious as it sounds it's not very uncommon a kid will just get food and shelter and nothing else. I grew up like that, I was fed, I had my own room, the rest was just neglect and abuse.
@@robbikarboski6888 well mark did say “well they weren’t all too bad” something along the lines of that and the guy went on to say “yeah I guess they weren’t ALL bad”
That’s why she pointed that out.
It's mind blowing that a mother could do that to their own child. Evil, absolute evil.
A paid college education doesn't mean his parents weren't "all bad". Money means nothing. Love is all there is.
yeah but thats still pretty good😭😭
Bro when he said, so your parents aren't all bad.... Excuse me? How are the people in these stories not enraged? I would have shit talked my mom to the moon and back if she did this to me. And as the interviewer I wouldnt dare minimize it by making a comment like that. They did the bare minimum, but they, or at least the mom, I don't know if the dad knew, was foul through and through
@@palomafernandez6748the only reason they paid for his college is because they want to get rid of the guilt they feel. Not out of the goodness of their heaets
My mom started doing similar things to me starting in Jr High. I didn't fully realize what she was doing until my late 20's. It's a very real thing to dissociate and experience it from the outside, only to look back at it later and see what it was with adult eyes. I think this is the first time I''ve seen another man talk about their mother doing the same thing. It definitely took a tole on how I saw women as an adult, because she always pops in the back of my mind whenever I talk to women and the flashbacks have affected my daily life. If she was alive today, I would do what ever I could to put her in jail.
My God how could anyone do this
Be good to yourself
You deserve a beautiful life
I am so sorry your mother hurt you so bad. Stay strong and work through it so you can have the life you deserve. The love of my life was abused by his mother (sexually) and I was abused by my father (brutal violence) and we are "we" together and "get each others trauma. You are NOT what was done to you by a sick person.
There is a book called Complex PTSD From Surviving to Thriving, by Pete Walker. He is a now a therapist and in this book discusses abuse he suffered.
Listen to Patrick teahan,
I am so sorry sir. What she did is evil and sick. Shes a abuser. I hope you are able to talk to women now.
I heard a quote a while ago that’s stuck with me since… “Trauma and abuse is passed from generation to generation like a fire in the woods, destroying everything in its path.. until someone is brave enough to turn and face the flames. And it’s this that brings eventual peace to the victim and spares the generations to follow.” I am standing in solidarity with you, Grant, as we face the flames and claim our peace.
That is a beautiful quote, thank you for sharing 🙏
Absolutely embrace this quote. Thank you.
That is absolutely beautiful. I stand with you.
What a beautiful comment and quote😢😢❤❤❤❤❤❤
what exactly is the alternative to not kinda facing it or acknowledging it. is the only other option diddling kids? congrats lol
You know what's crazy is that apart of my toxic childhood I grew up thinking ALL WHITE people had amazing lives and were rich and racist. I thought that that was true until probably 21 years old all because I'm from the hood and that's what we're told! This channel also showed me that no matter what damn skin tone you are, we all have struggles and can have a traumatizing upbringing. May this man's soul be blessed, he is beautiful and you can tell he's healed so much! I'm so happy that he didn't let that bs stop him from being the man he is today! ❤️
🙏
Excellent that you're smart enough to have finally seen through the lies and brainwashing.
I grew up in a white, upper middle class home, however, everyday was a living nightmare. My mother was incredibly violent and psychologically cruel. I left all the comforts of home at 17 after I got a job and lived in the back of a freezing cold farmhouse where the window of my room was broken out and had snow drifts by my bed. I was so cold I slept between the mattresses. I was 17 , broke and completely alone. I couldn't bear living that nightmare another day. I am now 55. Things have been a lot better at times but I struggle profoundly , in short. I assumed I would be ok at this age but my mental health crashed in on me because of profound ptsd, etc....
I am white and grew up thinking all black women were rude and insensitive and have felt intimidated a lot until my late 30’s. Now I’m 40 , and let me tell you I have meet more black women who are so strong and healers , and they don’t see the power they have to heal because we’ve been so divided. Thank you for sharing what you know , it gave me the ability to share what I’ve seen too. ❤
So beautifully expressed! I've always thought this life is one hell of a test. That's one reason Christianity speaks to me: "take up your cross and follow me." Life has its gifts - but always under the weight of the cross
"so your parents weren't all bad". What a horrible thing to say to someone who survived child abuse. Please do better. Thank you to Grant for being vulnerable and sharing your truth with all of us, I know it wasn't easy.
Lol i know right, i love these videos but mark always has some dumb interjection to the interviews
Literally! Grant had such a humble response as well "thank you for pointing that out". Not good when one's tendency is to self blame after a childhood of abuse..
It's a fair question though. I think it will help him to put things in perspective. If your parents provided for you, put you through private schools, and then through college, then clearly they aren't all bad. Sounds like they were deeply flawed and mom was perpetuating abuse handed down. I think it's easier to move on when you have a deeper understanding of everything. The alternative is to paint everyone as a monster and continue to be haunted for your entire life. Not a good way to live.
@@jm7804 I don't think it's a necessary thing for anyone to point out when an abuse victim is telling their story. Grant will determine what, if anything, that his parents gave him was of any value to him in light of the abuse he endured. It's not for anyone else to point out or question, especially in this situation.
@@jm7804You should be put away. No amount of education or things can make up for these kind of abuse. Shame on you for even thinking it.😕
I don't remember any of my assaults from my mom but when I was 15 she came after me up the stairs into my room about to lunge on me and I remember thinking...NEVER AGAIN ! And when she pushed me down on my bed and came at me I lifted my legs and pushed her off with them and she slammed against the wall with a surprised look on her face. I screamed at her NEVER AGAIN !!!! she didn't ever physically go after me again. The mental abuse just more furious. I've been no contact for 27 years thank goodness. Best decision I've ever made to save my life.
You hear stories like this all the time with daughters and fathers but it happens with sons and mothers too so I applaud Grant finding the courage to share this
I am so sure that you are right. I am sure mothers do ruin their kids lives by raping them...thank God for this brave man sharing this.
Mommy Dearest in the Worst Way!!! So horrible for that young man!!! 😡
@@Linda-in9ns isn't it? thank goodness for this man's endurance mentally, so glad that he didn't take things into his own hands and pick up a gun. A Solid Man.
Relatable. Some people were never meant to be mothers. You forget it all until you’re an adult.
We don't hear about it because it's extremely rare for a mother to be like that!
As a mother, I can't comprehend any mother sexuallly abusing their child. It's so disgusting. You're there to protect them and home should be a safe, tranquil place. I haven't finished the video, but I sure hope his mother was charged and she's put away where she belongs. I wish this guy all the best and hope he continues therapy. It breaks my heart to hear this.
My God this is unreal what a horrible life. Hope she got punished!!! 😠
Or it could be that he suffers from delusions
@@rnt77 if you don't believe him, why are you here commenting? Watch something else. He has nothing's to gain from lying. Child sexual abuse is an epidemic. Millions of children are going thru it right now..
It's usually multigenerational.
this woman is / was a psychopath...beyond the abuse she is a sadist.
This man is so strong, so very brave. S.A. by mothers is such a taboo subject, but I know from my own experience that it exists and it happens… It’s such a hard to process trauma… I still can’t talk about it, not even with my therapist 😞 Even leaving this comment sends me into a flight or fight, I can’t even imagine what it’s like to sit and talk about it on camera, it really means he’s on the way to his full recovery.
One day at a time my brother, one day at a time.
Don’t be hard on yourself.. be kind to yourself, even when the storms come. Just breathe and smile and know you’ll be all right. You will, the storms don’t kill you, they change you for the better.
Learn to calm your mind and be present in the storm. Those are transformational periods. I promise you, you’ll be ok. Now hang on and enjoy the ride. I love you.
I understand. I haven’t shared much of what happened to me but I know it’s important to find healing in understanding what happened, and how if affects one’s life.
I agree, a mother. I mean, it goes against every single grain of "life". A mother to commit that crime on their baby is just.....what words can I even use
I am so sorry for your experience
I hope that the commenter is getting help. I was abused at 5
It was our babysitters son who was leaving for college
He convinced me that my parents would get a divorce and would hate me and not believe me. I have a genetic disease that causes my organs to fail. I told myself if I lived that I would deal with him. I have a brain injury from the surgeries. But I called his wife. I told her things that she would know that I was telling the truth. I did it by voice mail at his house. I wanted the entire family to know because he had girls. I wanted to tell my Dad and Mom earlier but I didn't want my Dad to go to jail or my brother. Another adult who would come by the house we were babysat at. He went to prison for raping his own son. He also raped other children who were being cared for
I am praying for you ❤ Wendy
Talking about it makes it more real somehow. You are stronger than you realize. Always remember that!
Literally tried to unalive myself 2 weeks ago because of childhood trauma being too much. I felt like these awful things would just keep happening to me so it made sense at that moment to just protect myself by ending it all. Seeing this video makes me feel less alone, like I'm not the only person with a parent who couldn't keep their hands to themselves. I feel like this gives me a lot of courage to keep working through my battle with C-PTSD, depression, and OCD. So thank you for hanging on.
Thank YOU, for being here today 🫶🏻 you’ll get through this love 💕
You are very brave and worthy of love and happiness.
Life has so much to offer
Thank you for sharing and thank you for making it through. It sounds like you and I have a lot in common. I tend to feel alone a lot of the time, especially when I am stuck in rituals and compulsions and the shame that comes with it. I already want to delete this but I'm not going to and i hope you are doing better now.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you continued healing. C-ptsd is a h3ll of its own. I’m sorry. 😥
Don’t you do that if you can help it! You’d be surprised at how many people care for you and have the capacity to show you love. You may need to wait a little longer for them to show up or for it to work. Best wishes and virtual hugs.
I was shocked when he mentioned his father . To think his father was present and most likely knew what happening and did nothing is just heartbraking.
There are 6 states in the US without statutory age laws for marriage where a 40 year old can marry a 10 year old in perfectly legal marriage. All that is required is parental consent. Since the year 2000 over 60,000 children have been married off to adults in legal marriages. I’m not knocking Christianity as I’m a Christian myself, but it’s these big radical ‘Christian’ fundamentalist groups living in compounds in rural America that are the ones lobbying these far right ‘Christian’ politicians who are ALWAYS THEE ONLY ones who constantly fight any bill that would add a statutory age laws to marriage in these states.They are operating as legalized pedo rings. There’s the big political party protected and ran pedo ring that these Qanon dopes have all these stupid conspiracies about some secretive shadowy network they can never find. It’s cuz they’re looking in the wrong place. It’s right under their noses being ran openly and legally by their own politicians. There used to be 9 states, but at least we’ve got it down to 6 in recent years years.. Think about this guys parents. These are the kinda parents in these ‘Christian’ fundamentalist pedo rings giving each other parental consent to marry each other’s children and they have BIG dark money groups lobbying for their protection.
My mother was my primary abuser. My father is still scared of her. Every time I begged him for help, his response, “I only do what my wife tells me to do.”
@@SummerRaeFL Child neglect is also a crime.
@@SummerRaeFL So sorry to hear about that Summer... I've always had problems & alotta issues w/ my Mother as well but it was more mental & verbal, alotta threats were made & used to control me & my situation... Growing up is freaking hard man & sometime's you don't realize what you've been through until later on in you're life, once you're older... Not everyone makes it out the other side...
Exactly. Fuck that guy.
It’s not easy as a man talking about this type of abuse. He has no idea how much his bravery and vulnerability is going to help others. He’s going to to such good things for this world 🙏🏼
Beautifully said!!
Yes! This!!!!!!!
It's terribly unfortunate that so many men take their sexual abuse to the grave
Sorry, but why is it harder for men to talk about abuse than for women? Cant see the difference...
@@immerdienstags5853 It shouldn’t be. But some men feel like it lessens them as a man or they won’t be taken seriously. But, it’s not right. Everyone should be taken seriously and feel safe speaking up.
"It's other people’s bullshit and not yours"
"Wisdom is found in suffering"
"Having faith gives you hope"
"Don't give up on yourself, don't quit, be resilient"
Some amazing life lessons in this interview, thank you Grant.
"So your parents weren't all bad."
His mother was sleeping with him and his father was a coward. Wtf kind of statement is that?
Yes. This was tonedeaf
I’ve never had an interview resonate with me as much as this one did. My step dad started molesting me at the age of 8 and when I finally came out about it after 4 years of constant abuse no one believed me. My biological mom put all my belongings in trash bags on the street in front of the house and that was that. I’ve had to block so much out but he is so right when he says that this is other people’s BS…not mine. I’m 20 now and even though the molestation changed me and traumatized me in more ways than I can count, I am now finishing up my second year of college and thank God that my biological mother hasn’t been in my life since the day I told. Thank you so much for this interview, it’s so healing in a way to hear others who have had similar experiences and feelings.
I wish I knew the statistics on how many are arrested and prosecuted. This is such a horrible thing for anyone to go thru. My abuse was physical and verbal. Very damaging and hard to understand. Hoping Grant continues on a path of healing. What a great man he is.❤️
please know you’re not alone. i went through sexual abuse at the hands of my older cousin. my siblings are victims of his too. you’re doing so amazing. to be doing what you’re doing with the past that you have, every day remind yourself that you are doing amazing. because you are. we both are. i’m 21 now and i look at how broken and angry i used to be and i’m glad i never let them win. because that’s his bullshit not mine.
I’m so sorry I instantly hate your mom
@@mayarenfro2828 thank you so much ! So extremely proud of you ❤️
this dude is the epitome of human resilience and potential. I hope he sees himself that way
I never comment, but I felt like I needed to share this-- this video encouraged me to reach out for support groups which is something I've been putting off for awhile. I can relate so much to what was shared. Thanks Grant. You're an inspiration
You got this 👍
Yes!!! Do it for YOU! ❤🙏
@9907fc😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮c😮😮''c'c😮cccc. 😮😮😮
Wishing you peace 💚
It’s important to talk about what happened and put the mixed up feelings and memories in a better place. Bless you ❤ and stay strong.
Grant has a heart of gold and anyone would be so blessed to have him in their life.
I’m a behavioral specialist for children at a residential hospital and these stories really help me understand all of the possible things that these children go through.
Please tell these other morons that children dont usually make this stuff up.
These children are screaming in silence
@@willowtree6657I couldn't agree more. 😢
So your saying they are being abused in the hospital and your just letting it happen your scandalous
“don’t continue their sickness. that’s their issue. what they did it’s their bullshit. don’t continue it thru you” such empowering affirmation 🧡
This really resonated with me!
🙏🏻
yes ya
I needed to hear that
Thank you. One minute in to the video I feel so ill. Jesus, strengthen this man. Strengthen him with your love, your divinity, and your everlasting ability to heal and provide peace from within and out. Through the blood of Jesus Christ heal this man.
@@sarinaacevedo7113 Amen 🙏🏻 I plead a bucked full of Jesus blood 🩸 on all those sexual deviants in Jesus Mighty name change the laws Jesus make death penalty for those that hurt our kids all kids are our kids lord Jesus Bless this man with all he’s hearts desires Yahweh love you God Bless you All 🙏🏻
Child abuse is the worst thing you can do to an innocent soul. I was molested by the father of a girl that I used to play with when I was in elementary school. I was 9 years and he did the worst things imaginable to me. I never told anyone back then. Not even my parents. Years later I came to know that he did this to his daughter too.
As a result I felt worthless for most of my life. Especially in relationships. And I ended up with a very toxic man who exploited and abused me mentally for almost 20 years. I was almost 50 years old when I finally went into therapy. I suffer from PTSD and depressions. I can only imagine what it must be like to be sexually abused by a parent. Someone who should actually protect you. I hope that Grant will be able to make peace with his past somehow. It is a long and very painful way.
Sry that happened to you. I had a girlfriend in NYC in my late teens early 20’s who’s father did that her. He fled to Florida when he found out she told me and I was looking for him. Turns out years later he came back to NYC and molested his niece and her father and friends got him. Put him in the hospital. These are THEE WORST scumbags humanity has to offer. I was happy to hear the inmates got to Richard Huckle. So at least there’s that. They are treated as subhuman in prisons, that’s if the convicts are nice enough to let ‘em live.
I totally agree. There is nothing worse than harming a child. It's too much to even think about.
My heart breaks for children who go through things like you described. I wish all children could have a healthy upbringing and not experience trauma. No doubt their lives would turn out very differently. 🤍
@jackie5624 Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm here to support anyone who has been through trauma and have been that way my whole life. I'm an empath through and through and have supported many friends through some very heavy things.
My choice of words could have been better. What I meant was that it's heartbreaking to picture a child experiencing such horrific acts. I already lose sleep over thinking about what children go through. When I snuggle up at night in my cozy bed, I ALWAYS think about children who don't have that.
I've been strong for others my whole life, but it's never been returned to me. I've suffered through my own tragedies, but I have just learned to lean on myself.
My heart breaks for whatever you've been through. If I knew you, I'd be there for you. In fact, I'm here for whoever wants to open up anywhere... even here on RUclips... which has actually happened many times.
Immense pain and trauma can only heal by processing it. That's why channels like this are such amazing tools for society. It's critical for these tough subjects to be discussed publicly in order to make changes.
Hopefully, you have received proper therapy and support in dealing with your past experiences. Wishing you peace and happiness. 🤍
Io sono stato lasciato fuori di casa a 3 anni,poi rapito ed abusato.a mia madre non è mai importato di me e mi ripudiava e mimacciava e maltrattava,mio padre quel poco che è stato a casa beveva .io non so come non sono ancora morto....pensavo di farla finita a 14 anni...ora ne ho 40.... è indescrivibile la lotta al dolore e al non avere nessun aiuto.
He is a wonderful man. This is hands down the best interview I've seen on this channel, and I wish him all the best.
This is unimaginable….. I’m so sorry you went through this. You didn’t deserve not one second of any of this. Thank you for still being here.
No child deserves it.weird ur words
It's so difficult to listen to the horrific stories of childhood sexual abuse, but Grant has faced his demons with incredible strength. Thank God he now has good people in his life, has found purpose in his life and has assigned the guilt to where it belongs - with his parents. All the best to you, Grant, you're an inspiration.
As difficult as it is to listen imagine having the courage and strength to tell such a horrific story
Amen. ❤
Loved this, identify (w/o incest)and super appreciated your candor, courage and empathy. Thank you Grant, be blessed😊
he stared evil 😈 and he WON...all the love, respect and good fortune You are truly a great man
Amen. Praticamente è la la mia storia......
I’m only 4 mins into the video but I’m already so sorry this happened to you Grant.
@jimbofischaboithink extra hard and use your big brain.
@@pocketsand76 Looks like jimbo deleted whatever comment you're responding to - part of his M.O. Jump in, stir things up, bail out...though he doesn't always bail, unfortunately.
God awful..... Sorry ur mom was a monster too. I can't imagine any parent doing this to their own child. I met a gal who had kids that befriended mine. In the course of getting to hear her story, she revealed her dad would use any of the four kids sons and daughters for his depravity. I could have hurled. I remember when I felt like the only one. Now I have researched and wish I had been the only. My heart breaks for all the (barely) survivors. This is heinous. Best wishes for you kid.
Imagine having a sexuality sooo messed with. It's horrible....
E
I’m 2 minutes in 😞
Grant, I'm so sorry this all happened to you. You are very clearly an extremely resilient, empathetic, and wise person. Your story touched me.
This one was hard. I had similar experiences with my father. I didn’t remember any of it. Just sitting in the court. I was daycare/kinder age. My mother got me into church thinking it would help but the “abide they mother and father” convinced me I was a terrible person and a liar. That I didn’t remember any of it so it never happened. In my early 20s I reached out to father. I believed young me must’ve made it all up and I asked him for forgiveness. “That part haunts me now” He began flirting with me, stalking me, harassing me as his 20yo daughter. That’s what it took to realize 3yo me didn’t lie about being assaulted and I began to get help.
Doesn’t matter if someone is “family” or blood related…. If they abuse you in any form, cut them from your life. The toxicity and stress is not worth it.
@paulahillman1100 It's easier said than done. When you're a child, you're virtually helpless. Who do you trust, who do you turn to when you are riddled with guilt, shame, and fear?
As an adult I’ve have found it tremendously easy to cut a MFer- right out of my life- and never look back! I’m a light switch! Scary sometimes
It is easy to cut a stranger out of ur world. A family member has it's own devastation.
What about trauma bonding most people think they wouldn't put up with mistreatment and abuse until they do and they look back and they realize most of their life they didn't have healthy relationships
Grant , you're angel in a human body. You did it and broke the cycle. This in itself is a huge feat in life. Your perception on healing without needing to understand it, really helped me.
Thank you for your comment, I wish you the best. 🙏
How clever of you to notice, and articulate. Im so glad you made this comment....🙏 he really is an incredible man , (my earlier comment was true and real, from my experience) I think my brain is wrecked from the level of disassociation.. not sure if I will ever not be a slave to struggling.. I will screen shot your comment. As it resignated something in me.. I really do thank you.. 🙏
@@canaidianz much love xo
This is so relatable. My mother is a sadistic person. I can't remember ages 14 through 20. The dissociation I experienced was so severe, I thought that my mind was broken and that I'd never feel again. My father was also my mother's victim, and after he died, I realized he had been protecting me from her, but he never saved me from her. I'll never really know what it's like to have a 'family.' "Because she was an abuser" is the correct response anytime someone asks you why someone abused you; it's because they are an abuser. And he's 100% right about not being able to heal trauma cereberally. Trauma lives in your body, and the only way to heal is by being in your body. Grant is a powerful man. And he has beautifully expressive hands
This is seriously extremely difficult to comprehend considering I’m a mother, with a son. I just don’t have the words 🤦🏻♀️ How a mother, or parent can harm their own child!!! I’m very sorry for your trauma- you seem like an awesome person! Keep getting help and stay strong!
“You get wise through your suffering.” You are so courageous, Grant. God bless you.
Exactly. So many terrible aspects to his life, but he’s blessed in that he’s been able to grow and gain wisdom rather than give in to bitterness.❤
I can completely relate to his amnesia. I lived in fear of my father from birth until I escaped aged around 12. It took me 20 years after this to start recovery, I'm 42 now and struggling on, but in a much better place, mentally, physically and spiritually. I had terrible disassociated phases Getting cognitive behavioural therapy for my complex post trauma stress disorder did wonders, it might be the hardest thing you ever do, but it saved my life.
Mine was very similiar. Therapist said over and over “it’s not your fault”. I was like “I know that, geez, of course it’s not my fault”. But what she meant was “it’s not your fault so stop punishing yourself over and over”. Finally sunk in. I know it wasn’t, but everything I did was detrimental to myself.
Did you recover memories of abuse in therapy of which you were not even aware of before you started therapy?
@@tjthompson4728 Exactly, we continue punishing ourselves for things that were not our fault, understanding that is central to recovery.
@@psyskeptic9979 Not exactly. I was in intensive therapy for twelve months, I don't remember new memories surfacing, but it clarified the traumatic memories I could recall.
Yeah pretty much same. I became an addict, dissociated, lost alone.....Once I got clean I still struggled with the underlying trauma for many years until I got into therapy. CBT and DBT therapy totally has changed me life. Hope you find peace a freedom within 💖💖🙏🙏
My mother would laugh as she abused me, my father did not seem to care. He would take part if she instructed him to. It was a nightmare. It took me 3x but I finally ran away and ended up in foster care, my paradise.
❤😢
"What they did is their bullshit. Do whatever you gotta do but don't continue it through you" That is power. This is one of the best SWU interviews I've watched
I recently left my moms house because of the abuse. I can 100% relate to him on the feeling guilty part because she has always provided for me with food and shelter. And the confusion of it all thinking “well she wasn’t all that bad” but then remembering the reason I left in the first place. It’s super hard and I’m struggling.
It’s ok to struggle… I still struggle with it too. I remind myself that I don’t owe her anything and I share that with you. It’s ok to feel anger, hurt, confusion, gratitude (yes - even that) and anything else. Just remember, it’s your life and you are free to do with it whatever you will. You don’t owe her anything.
I don’t know how old you are, but, finally, at age 60, I have been able to let the guilt I felt, (because she fed and clothed me), behind, once and for all. I always felt obligated to her, like I owed her something. I finally walked away a couple of years ago. I was told to always honor my parents. I kept trying because I wanted to obey the Commandment, “Honor your father and mother.” But, one day, not too long ago, when I was praying about this, I heard God say, “Michelle, you are honoring her because she doesn’t want you in her life.” And I realized He was so right. She never did. I hope you can learn, at your young age, this valuable lesson. Let go of the guilt and be happy and blessed.
@@michellecox6251 That’s very insightful… I struggle with the same issue of guilt and that commandment as well. I think I just learned something. 🙏
Takie care Boo❤
It is ok to love your parents and admit that their bad outweighed the good. It is hard, but it is the truth.
Grant, I am a survivor like you. It was not your fault you were a child. Praying for your healing. I see and hear you.
Grant has obviously done a lot of work to be where he is. His optimism and awareness is something to be admired. He really understands himself and articulates it beautifully.
Im inspired by your resilience, Grant! You chose empathy over apathy and you’re continuing the work. I’m in awe. Keep on keeping on! We’re all rooting for you!
Heartbreakingly relatable and disgusting how common these sort of stories are. Im glad hes still here. No kid deserves to go through this kind of shit, and having it be your own parent is even worse and more confusing.
"So your parents weren't all bad?"... what the hell
If his story is true (and I have no reason to believe that it isn't - but im not the one interviewing him) then yes, that was an extremely insensitive comment!
You are a survivor of your Mothers abuse and I am sorry you went through that. You are worth more than your trauma. You are not damaged goods, don’t be ashamed of yourself as you have nothing to be ashamed of. Go forward in your life doing good things, glad to hear your doing kick boxing. You are loved by all who have heard your story, you are not alone. I’m glad your getting therapy.
Grants Mother was not a Mother, she was a Monster .
I survived physical, emotional, and sexual abuse as a child, and I remember EVERYTHING. Those memories are with me for the rest of my life, but talking about them makes it easier to live with them.
I’m so glad you worked as a caregiver. Surviving this kind of shit changes the way you value the most vulnerable. Sending you a lot of respect and love.
The amount of ppl saying this is fake or whatever is crazy, just shows how different society would react to men getting molested when their younger rather than women, ignorant asf
@@jimbofischaboiand where’s ur proof of that, u sound like the psychopath because ur this bothered to comment something so dumb as that lol
Grant has such a beautiful soul. With everything he’s been through… you definitely beat the odds! I wish you all the best in your future! What an amazing story 🥰
Ditto. 🤍
Thank you so much for telling your story. People always assume men are the abusers. Our society puts mothers on pedestals undeservedly so. My mother was also my abuser. The denial, the memory loss, the body memory, the shame, the anxiety…I completely relate. You are so brave! You are so strong! You reminded me I am not alone. We are not victims, we are survivors! Thank you so much! I’ll be praying for you. 🙏🏽❤️
🙏 🙏 🙏
We are definitely strong and definitely not alone. Take care of yourself. Remember to be kind to yourself.
@@grant7584 You as well. 🙏🏽❤️🙏🏽
"Don't quit on yourself", great phrase it gives me hope
This man has so much self awareness it’s incredible, the way he describes the situations, Do your best to leave it in the past and grow from it ❤️
As someone who also had a dysfunctional mother, I'd say it never leaves you, you just learn how to deal with the past & present better.
Such a glib thing to say to a person who's developing brain and body was warped and twisted behind this kind of abuse as a child. I'm sure you mean well, but it comes across like a brick on a still pond. I'm sure he.. we...wish this could be left in the past!
@@jguitar23 that’s what my wife says too, unfortunately we try but stays with you deep down
@@LoveforAaronBushnell 🤷♂️ judge how you see it I suppose
I hear what you’re saying ❤️
Some of the comments/stories in the comments section are heartbreaking. I’m so incredibly sorry for what you’ve experienced and feel privileged that you’re brave and strong enough to be vulnerable and open enough to share them. I can never get my head around how the decision(s) of one person can near-destroy the life/lives of innocent others, left to pick up the pieces of their emotional world.
I was 28 yrs old at my mothers home, she brought up the babysitter I had, her son 18, me age 4, I had blocked out all those yrs. When she brought up the name of the babysitter, triggered me and I remembered everything that was done to me. I could go on, but know you are not alone. I am a fighter and a survivor, and was determined not to let this destroy me. Strength to you.
I'm so so sorry. How heartbreaking. As a mother I just want to make it better, knowing how much I cherish my son. Thank you for being so brave and strong.
you know this channel has been an absolute therapy in my life ,when all seems lost , and I listen to one of your videos Mark , I am just so humbled and softened with compassion, and empathy , and somehow it softens, and heals a piece, even if a tiny piece of my heart , I feel so so bad for these people .
You have been through so many crushing things, and I am so proud of the man that you are becoming. I can see how hard you’ve struggled to come this far. I’m just very proud of you.
Grant, I felt every single word you said. I wish I was as courageous as you because I'm much older than you, yet still can't talk very much about my horrific childhood. You must be so proud of yourself.
Hey Mark, I adore you but around 7:20 he tells you that he's getting overwhelmed and needs a break, yet you just asked for clarification about the abuse memory. That is not appropriate when speaking to abuse survivors. Anytime they need a moment to pause it should be immediately given. They are brought back to the trauma and it may very well feel as if their body is in that memory. Please be more aware of this next time. I know you care immensely and these stories are so important.
❤❤❤
He did take a break- it’s edited video
@@bossbonita1235 how do you know?
@@Lex-tl4vm well, you can notice the edit at that time- and Mark does it often and is the best to these people.
@bossbonita1235 I just rewatched it several times and see zero edits between him asking to chill for a second & Mark continuing on. Maybe you're looking at a different part but there isn't a cut or edit there. I'm highly aware Mark is a great guy & cares deeply for those he interviews, it's very obvious, but as a child SA survivor myself, I wanted to share an important tip, and one that may not be so obvious to those who haven't suffered the same abuse.
We love Grant. He’s a brave man for talking about this as a man. As a survivor myself, writing never finds the words, and body memory can sometimes feel constant, but I still try every day to heal and to learn from the mistakes that were made against me, so that when I have children, they will feel love like they deserve, instead of just passing down a poisoned love in the same destroyed state. I wish this man nothing but excellence for the rest of his days.
Grant, all I see is kindness, self awareness, eagerness to grow. You are so special and so powerful as you step into healing. Your story resonates deeply with me, different wounds but pain is pain. Thank you for sharing, we see you, we love you.
Grant has described perfectly why I could never bare school in a way I’ve never been able to describe. It’s like your hungry next to a restaurant full of people eating. And you can’t stand it. All these kids with good lives and kind parents and you have to go home to hell. I can finally describe why I couldn’t stand it.
I'm so sorry this happened to you Grant. I was molested from9 to12. It was by a neighbor. He used to ask me if I wanted to go to the store to get candy and I always say yes and he never penetrated me but would put his hands down my pants and I knew it was wrong but I still went anyway.I never told anyone till I went to therapy 30 years later and I was very good friends with his daughter and I told her what happened to me about 5 years ago and she told me he raped her for all of her teenage years and I couldn't believe it. We are still good friends till this day. Her mother knew but never left him which I don't understand. But I blocked out for all those years and I became an addict,, I'm 52 now and I'm clean now but my therapist told me you were self medicating to forget this happened but I'm so grateful I went to see a therapist. If I told the whole story but it would be a novel lol 😆 but this is kinda a readers digest version. Grant
I wish you nothing but the best 🙏. Another great interview Mark!!
@thegreat5573 I don't think anybody thinks she's anything else but a monster
As a survivor myself, I can really relate to the repression caused through abuse. It's almost impossible to explain to someone who hasn't gone through this however it's like "another life". When I spoke about my abuse, I had to go through PTSD and a huge amount of trauma to fully recover. It was incredibly damaging and challenging but, absolutely worth the pain to come out feeling more congruent with who I am and what I survived. I share this only so those who have also survived, understand they are not alone and that the challenge of recovery ... is worth it, when compared to the silence.
These stories are so impactful. I love watching these. My father began sexually abusing me at 5. the abuse continued from 5-16. 20 minutes into the video, I already was crying profusely. I felt the same way as this man did. I lived two separate lives at home and in publc. My entire childhood was corrupted. Im 45 now. And, my life is still very much difficult as a result. Child trauma affects every aspect of yoru life. This guy is extremely resilient and insightful. This is one of my favorite videos thus far
Thank God you were able to get help. It was not you. It was her, and you learned to separate yourself. You are so strong in getting the help you need for YOU! She is a sick person and should not have been anywhere around you or any children!!
What an amazing guy. He has worked through so much, and managed to not only survive, but to hold onto his compassion for other humans...And his honest and forthright conversation was so helpful. It's really made me rethink some of my judgements of other people, to think of them in a different light. Thank you!
Dude you’re a light warrior. I’m impressed with your capacity to say no to the evil thoughts that crossed your mind. It takes more than the common man to overcome your lower animalistic vengeful side. Bravo to you my friend ❤
This guy is going to help a lot of people.
One of the most powerful and inspirational interview on this channel. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Grant. This is what I needed to hear today ♥️♥️♥️
This video, Grant's beautiful story of recovery, refusing to give up, and his simple approach to faith...is everything!!!🔥🕊🖤👏👏👏 And everything I needed to hear. A true encouragement and testimony to human resiliance as well as the miracle of recovery. Blessings, Grant, and keep sharing your story of what it was like to go from personal darkness after abuse into hope! Those who get it will be thankful and encouraged!!
23:41 wow, he summed it up. The mental war of experiencing multiple sides of your parents. one hand they provide and support financially then another abusive and destructive on your psyche. The games they play just like the interviewer said, “they weren’t all bad”. They use that to rationalize or negate the trauma they caused.
Yes amen!
This is so true!
Exactly what he says. "Thats her shit, thats not my shit" don't carry on their sickness for them. You don't have to.
This story is so powerful. Thanks for your bravery of speaking up!
I am so sorry this happened to you, Grant. Thank you for sharing these very painful memories and I hope this helps you to process the truly unforgivable things that happened to you. Stay strong and keep sharing so we can embrace you and people like you.
Incredible self-awareness & wisdom. Full power to you & your recovery ✊🏻🤛🏻❤️
This is a great case study for observing symptoms of PTSD. Thanks for sharing your story Grant. I’m sure it will help a lot of people. I’m so glad you’re able now to move on from your trauma. Wishing you all the very best. ❤
Symptoms of C-PTSD and PTSD!! There is a big, big, a huge difference! xo
@@TraumaPunksMamiMusic thanks for sharing this information. I’ve done some extra research on C-PTSD. I see what you mean, there’s a world of difference. There’s always something to learn. Grant’s symptoms do sound complex, formed over long periods rather than one incident. I found his interview extremely illuminating.
@@student22044 Glad it helped
Thank you Grant, for telling your story and bravely re-living the trauma.. I hope you practised self-care after the interview. You will go on to help many more people and do good in your life. Create the family that you wanted as a child.. give that happiness to your own child. You have nothing to lose.
Thank you for sharing! I pray that this video reaches all the men out there that has also been through this and it empowers them to speak out as well! God bless you!
He is so brave to share this. His story will help so many.
THANK YOU. I've been trying SOOOOOOOOOOOO hard to recover from narcissistic personality abuse from my family and especially my brother since my mom's passing last year in 2022! I'm still in therapy and listening to this man's testimony is VERY important and helpful for me. Thanks again for another excellent video. We're all in it together. Carlos 👍
I am very glad it helped you.
Your courage and honesty is so uplifting. You are
such an inspiration.
Godspeed Grant. As a parent to an only son, I’m so sorry that you had to deal with this growing up. You deserved so much better.😢
Grant has so much to teach us all. I really wish him all the very best.
This is intense, and a lot of people will benefit from seeing this. I did not experience his kind of abuse, but a lot of his response is similar to how I feel I responded to severe bullying in middle school. Still affects me to this day.
😘
Same, with bullying and having no support at home.
Same here!
My goodness. I had to catch my breath 1 minute in. You, Grant, are absolutely amazing. You know whats hard also, is seeing and hearing your deepest darkest secrets being spoken, by someone whom is on a tv screen. Brave, you are so many amazing thigs. Im so sorry this lives within you. God knows I feel so much of this. Xoxo thank you.
🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬2min in and I am absolutely FUMING and SICKENED. That is so F***ING VILE🤬🤬🤬🤬I have too many friends that have gone through this SH!T; this is so wrong 🤬🤬 how can this be stopped?!!! I can never explain how sorry I am that this has happened…. I can only say I’m sorry, I see you, I hear you, you are so strong, every single one of you. I am so sorry. You truly are an amazing human, thank you for sharing, but I hate that anyone has this to share 🥺🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞❤️❤️❤️
Although he just explained step by step in vivid detail how he overcame not only the abuse, but the subsequent behavioral issues that followed I'm sitting here amazed at how well he's handled it all. But at the very end when he spoke about his faith and even how he ended up differing directly to God without continuing to go the church route, I got it. He got it. He's a conquerer, and I couldn't be more proud of a person! Keep going bro!
Absolutely!!! He’s phenomenal!!!!
Skipping the church part is where it’s at. Love. God wants us to Love. How easy is that!!!
Yes!!! Amen ❤ Grant is brave! And a warrior
Don't believe everything or everyone you hear. It'll take you far. I'd like to see him take the stand, under oath
I’ve read your comment about 20 times now and every time I read it I get happy.
5 minutes in and this is already some of the heaviest, darkest shit I've listened to on this channel. The word 'survivor' gets thrown around a lot nowadays, but in his case it's an understatement. Grant's resolve and grit is astounding. I wish him all the best in life.
What an amazing person to share his story like this. It takes such bravery ❤️ I wish you all the best for a happy future. I have a 9 year old son and can’t comprehend this, but mother like this DO exist and there needs to be more awareness
you are so brave, Grant. thank you for sharing. your inner work is clear from the interview, and sets a good roadmap for other survivors, a way out of hell.
What an inspirational man. Humanity at its finest. To refuse to allow your past to define you while actively choosing to live a life of service and resilience is incredible. You will touch many many more than you can imagine with who you are.
Grant, you're a testament to resilience and strength. You made it through, and you're a good person, in spite of all you endured. Winner!
Ughh I’m crying so much watching this. Mainly by your courage. Im just so proud of you. Thank you for sharing. Truly. Praise God
I was totally shocked to hear that his parents are still alive and he's sharing so openly. Wow. I applaud him for dealing with such severe trauma. His true personality survived and is thriving.
Grant, you did all of this on your own. You might feel a sense of comfort thinking of Jesus, but you can find comfort in knowing that you are taking good care of yourself. 💙
I think he really nailed it 32:14 when we’re sterling with our mental issues and we’re looking for comfort, there’s no one to run to, it’s so hard. I feel that daily.
Thank you 🙏🏼 This was an amazing interview. It touched me deeply.
Having a parent that refuses to properly address the way in which an adult in your life is abusing you is an indescribable pain. When he touched upon the negligence of his father it truly resonated with me. My mother and I are estranged due to her lack of protection when I endured sexual abuse under the hands of her own mother and though I am making my peace with the fact that her and I will never be close, it still hurts. This may not apply to everyone but in my experience, the searing hurt of feeling as though I wasn’t a good enough child to be saved by my own mother is something that, though I know isn’t my fault, I will always carry with me. I will always carry that shame. Though I don’t wish this man’s experience on anyone, it is very comforting to know that I’m not the only one struggling with these complex feelings
Grant is very articulate and intelligent. He's come a long way in his reecovery, and I wish him the best going forward.
"Thankfully I choose courage"
~ Grant