Mikko's bedtime routine is NOT going well
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- Опубликовано: 8 сен 2024
- Mikko has been and continues to struggle with transitioning to bedtime. Between eating snacks, watching tv, and staying up late, she wants to do everything except going to bed. Though it continues to be a challenge, we are maintaining an effort to get her to understand that when it's bedtime, it's bedtime!
First of all let me start by saying that you and your husband are doing an amazing job. Secondly I have over 25 years of working with the autistic community as well as the develop mentally disabled and the one thing that is needed across the board is consistency. Autistic people and especially children need a structured day. Like you said it doesn’t happen overnight and it takes time . She is very aware and highly intelligent and I can see that she is just showing signs like a typical 3 year old and that when she doesn’t get her way she cry’s . You have to stay firm and strong like you’re doing and let her know that certain behaviors are not going to be tolerated. All children go through periods that they were once doing a task and all of a sudden it’s a problem. Also sweetheart you are exhausted and I think that you may need some mommy time . Have you considered putting in a part time program that will cater to her needs. I think it would be good for her and you . Remember you also have two other babies that need you and a husband and you need to take care of you and that’s not being selfish. You’ve got this sweetheart 🙏🏼❤️🙏🏼.
My grandson is on the syndrome. He is 23 now. It's still differcult at times. He sometimes gets very frustrated and has meltdowns. It is hard, especially he's nit medicated. He also was non verbal. He's has speech but if it isn't consistent he regresses. You and your family are doing a wonderful job. GOD bless you all.
This is be best comment so far. I noticed the picture of husband, wife and mikko on the wall, which I found very strange: The older children aren't the focal point, but THEY ARE a part of the family- It just seems as though they are the outsiders. Not trying to be mean, just honest.
Oh wow I also have a son who is Autistic as well I'm going through similar things and as you Said. We have to be consistent but it really takes a lot if energy especially when my son can't tell me how he feels. He acts out with emotions and crys. Thanks again
Amen to that..🙋. thank u. Very thoughtful advice...
To be honest I also noticed that.
Mikko in the background giving the picture of herself a kiss, while her poor mom is explaining Mikko's sleeping issues to us.
You pointed it out and I cracked up, oh my God that’s so sweet!
That was so sweet ❤
I saw that right off to ❤❤😊
She smarter then you think
@@Hotsause220 I never said or implied that she wasn't smart.
Mikko's dad knows his power.
Mum and dad are amazing together, that's power and love.❤❤
👋🏽 Hey. Mom of 3 austistic children here.
Praying for us all. I definitely remember these rough days with transitions for both verbal and non-verbal toddlers.
My daughter's improved tremendously but these teenage regressive behaviors that we're experiencing can be a bit dicey at times also.
All Praises to The Most High for His covering, comfort and wisdom. ❤ Hang in there.
She gets frustrated with emotions and thats hard when u cant clearly speak. She has such a great mom. 🤎🧡
As an adult I have issues with people understanding what I say, and. It's so frustrating. ❤
@@aestill1 I understand you.Remember to take deep breaths and have Faith.❤️
@cindycocurullo2630en oiu en oiu me voy con una a Mess
@cindycocurullo2630en oiu en oiu me voy con una a Mess
Amen, I am amazed how you communicate with her needs. Mikko is a very smart little Princess and like all toddlers she has a strong will, however Mom and Dad are doing such a great job teaching her that there are daily routines and there are limitations . Great job mom , dad and Mikko. Sending love ❤️ from Florida.
You understand your daughter so well. A therapist once told me little kids test boundaries to check if they can disobey you and still be loved by you. I know it's so exhausting, but you're doing such a great job showing Mikko that you will always love her, whether she disobeys or not, but that you are also going to hold your boundaries.
YES!!! All with love ❤️.
It could be the same reason as what is called the terrible twos. She's spent her whole life communicating her frustrations by screaming, cry and throwing things. Now, she's trying to grasp a new way of communicating. She's probably just needs alot of time and patience.
It's harder because she's frustrated with her communication struggles but it's all very typical for a three year old.
@@Tameka731 she's not big, she's just tall. Both of her parents are tall, especially her dad.
@@ameenahmuhammad8763 i think thats what tameka meant.
Oh dear , tantrums and pretending to cry , she wants her own way 😢😢 very smart little girl
no its not that, she is still a toddler so when she gets upset its okay to cry and she can't really speak about her emotions, so it gets frustrating
If my kid said thank you unprompted, even half as much as your girl, I’d be jumping for joy!
I think it’s really special that out of all the words and phrases there are, she can say ‘thank you! like a champ. . . . . And in perfect context even. Really cool. 😊
Solidarity
Firstly I want to applaud you so much for literally everything you’re doing, I can see how tired you are and am glad you’re getting help from your husband. Sometimes if you’re not making much progress it is good to switch out and let the other take a turn, for both you and Mikko.
I’m not sure how well this would work for Mikko but maybe when she gets upset that she can’t do something, say something along the lines of, “I’m sorry, we can’t have any more snacks - all finished. But you can choose, do you want to get changed first or brush teeth” to distract her from what she can’t have with choices she can make. This really depends on how overwhelmed she is because sometimes more input can be the tipping point for a meltdown.
Another thing that I saw that I thought was really good was when you and husband would affirm the boundary and just talk, saying about how it is bedtime now so we have to go to sleep. With any child, I’m sure they know to some extent but need that reaffirmed.
Oh and another thing! It was really heartening to see the way you allowed mikko to be upset on the bed and comfort her as she cried for a moment but then stay firm in your boundary of it being dinner time and not creating a space where she would continue to stay upset about that thing. The way she hopped off the bed and followed you shows that it really worked! And you gave her grace in being allowed to take a moment to recompose herself.
I’m utterly in awe of your patience and truly commend you! I hope many good things come your family’s way ❤
Typical 3 yr old. When she doesn't get her way or being told No.... she cries. It's called a fit. She's smart.
My son is 8 with ADHD and moderate autism. One of things that helps him to transition between activities is to give him a timed warning - "you have 10 minutes until bedtime" then once he's brushed his teeth and gotten ready I tell him he can play quietly in his room and I'll be back in 20 minutes. This allows him time to finish what he's working on and mentally prepare for the next thing. It's effective enough for him that it is part of his IEP - the teachers are required to give him a 10-15 minute warning before changing subjects. 😊
@@Tameka731 First - I don't think "quiet" necessarily equals "pushover". It is possible to be quietly steady and still command attention to get your point across.
Second - pick your battles. Not everything is worth going to the mat for. My son rides his scooter inside, do I hate it? yes. Will it matter in 20-30 years? probably not. we make rules around it to keep him and others safe and let the rest go, there are more important things in life.
Setting alarms was key in early years. Even now at 10, it makes for a much easier transition.
My daughter is 6 and autistic. I love your videos and it's so nice to watch you interact with you. We struggle at transitions too. Hang in there momma! You got this! ❤
7 year old autistic/ADHD son& this is on point 🎯🎯🎯
A timer o a an excellent idea. I do not have autism, however, I do find working with a timer very comforting. It helps me to keep a certain pace and to stay focused for completing a task. If I finish something b4 the bell rings I feel very pleased and accomplished. It also helps with procrastination.
I have non autistic toddlers. Mikko cooperates with you during her tantrums, disagreement and unhappy moments. She's so nice to you when she's unhappy. It says a lot about your parenting style and I'm learning.
I like that dad came in.
BRAVO to Dad as well as mom!!!
Wow. Dad came right in and boom 💥 , bedtime. ❤
Ikr? Mikko is autistic but sometimes I notice typical toddler behavior for sure. She can get away with some things with Mama but knows she can't with Daddy. Mikko is a smart little girl. Children will test your boundaries to see how much they can get away with. She was testing Mama but Daddy had enough of the shenanigans and Mikko understood the jig was finally up. 😂
Yep!
Thank you Dad!!
Yep!
Thank you Dad!!
Yep!
Thank you Dad!!
Yep!
Thank you Dad!!
She knows you have unlimited patience with her while daddy is stern yet gentle. She is doing what most children do despite Autism being prevalent. Blessings
Love the team work between you and Chris.
Me too!
When she heard daddy say bed time that was it comfort lol mom your doing an amazing job ❤
excellent job dad n mom w ur beautiful lil one
I am impressed with how you communicated your care to Miko and supported her in transitioning to dinner instead of sleep.
She is so beautiful and trying so hard and so are you Mom. I hope you can get some extra rest soon. Sending you all love.❤
Mikko is putting you through a test
yes!
YES!
🤣
You both are doing a great job. Her speech is getting clearer, too. 😊
She’s not tired and not ready to go to sleep. Put her gate up and let her cry it out. When she notices no one is coming at night and it’s bed time eventually she will go to sleep. These are normal kid things but you guys give her a lot of grace because she is autistic! You all have to treat her like a normal child in some aspects. Most kids don’t want to sleep on time or sleep in there room. The only difoshe has is her speech and her learning curve other then that kids cry when they don’t want to sleep alone or aren’t ready to go to bed!! Let her cry it out and she will learn.
Mikko runs that house. Ridiculous
I just want to preface this by saying I think you both are amazing parents and it truly warms my heart that you put so much care and effort into parenting your child with autism. So many times autistic children experience trauma from their parents bcuz the parents just don’t get it. They love them but they just don’t understand. And the household struggles so much. I’m so happy Mikko has truly loving and understanding parents like you. What a blessing!
Now I love watching your videos bcuz I’m autistic as well and I feel or have felt these emotions that Mikko feels. I also am an RBT and help autistic kids navigate spaces that are difficult and teach them new skills. I work in homes, schools, and clinics. I watch your videos to see little moments where I can offer some additional insight as an outside point of view. I am in no way judging or thinking you’re doing anything wrong. So please be open to my friendly suggestions. My intentions are pure, kind, and loving. And I wanna see this beautiful black family win! This might be long cuz I made notes lol sorry for the read, please ignore me if you don’t feel like reading.
So here we go…lol It’s not that she needs to get ready for bedtime, but bedtime needs to get ready for her. Transitions are so important, especially for non preferred tasks. It’s great that you use a visual schedule, but setting up the environment to prepare her for this experience is just as important. I noticed before bed she was in her zone walking around doing stuff, then you said it’s time for bed… she’s like no, immediately lol.. now idk how transitioning to the room went cuz it wasn’t on film, but when she goes to her room there’s toys on the floor, demand placed to clean up (another non preferred task/double whammy moment) and she immediately cries. Also the lights are on, beds not looking made and comfy and the room just doesn’t look set for a relaxing night of sleep.
So going back to the visual schedule.. when it’s dinner time she just has to walk to the table and dinner is served.. no demand to cook or fix a plate, she’s just rewarded by eating.. when it’s time to brush teeth, her tooth brush is there she does her thing and gets rewarded with praise and can go back to doing whatever she was doing, but when it’s bed time there’s so many steps she has to do.. clean, get dressed, etc. and no reward from it just left alone in a dark room wide awake and not allowed to come out til the morning.. that seems stressful to her. Trying to force your brain to sleep when it’s constantly working during the day IS the nightmare for some kids.
So I see she’s looking for snacks before bedtime either bcuz she’s stalling, still hungry, or looking for a dopamine fix to wind her brain up again.. she had the tablet moments ago and that was also a dopamine fix for her, another fun time for her brain to do something it enjoys. Then boom all the sudden no more dopamine fixes and she has to go straight to bed and force her brain to shut off and fall asleep. Try cutting off those dopamine fixes way before bedtime, so it doesn’t seem like an abrupt dopamine cutoff, cuz she’s gonna have withdrawals in the middle of the night as she tries to stay awake. Give her time before bed to neutralize her brain’s sensory input. Low lights, low noise, low activity, low food and drink consumption… low everything to put her mind and body at ease.
Here are some of my suggestions. Get the room and her set up for bed way before bedtime. Have her get changed in the bathroom after brushing her teeth rather than in the bedroom.. cuz idk about you but when I’m doing a lot of movement right before bed, like changing clothes, using the toilet, etc. all the commotion kinda wakes me up and I can’t fall asleep fast after all that movement. So do those things before getting to the bedroom. That way she’s ready. And give her a break in between, to transition from bathroom activities before sleep time.
For bedtime when you enter the room make sure there’s no other demand placed but to get in bed. Just like when she has dinner she just needs to sit down and eat. No extra tasks in between. Now when she gets in bed, it’s not immediate sleep, it’s cuddles with mom, singing songs, or light music, reading a good, talking about all the things she accomplished that day and giving her one last praise and reward. Then sit in silence with her, and model how it feels to shut your brain and body down. So she doesn’t have to be alone and figure out how to do it by herself (that might be scary for her). Show her how it’s done. Then when she is relaxed and neutral, you make your exit and let her drift off to sleep by herself.
All in all, when you set the mood for bedtime before placing the demand to go to sleep her body will respond better when her environment makes sense that it’s bedtime.. clean room, lights off, soft music on, maybe some sensory lights or stars glowing, bed made, stuffed animals in place, etc.. as soon as she walks in.. those are the vibes lol then she can lay down, get some cuddles, talk about the day, and drift off into her mind at ease… 😴
Hope this helps! 🙂
Yes! Awesome directions, that's how I helped my daughter over the years to get ready for bed...she has issues shutting off from screen so I had to Institute a two hour separation window before bed time to reduce the dopamine fixes and slow down her mental activity...with repetition I just know Mikko will soon getting into the rhythm..you guys are awesome parents🎉🎉
I’m so proud of you precious you’re an amazing being with a beautiful heart. But see how Miko knew Chris wasn’t playing she can’t milk him like she can make milk you
Kids know not to play with daddy, don't they?😂
I love how dad is her comfort and how he steps in when it’s getn a lil too much instead of letting you handle it all🙌🏾Make sure u take some alone time to regroup and recollect when he does this❤️❤️
I really admire Mikos daily care from her parents. I love to hear her say THANK YOU AND I DID IT.
BUT CHRIS YOUR ROLE IN HER LIFE IS SO IMPORTANT MOTHERS ARE ALWAYS THERE. WHEN SHE WAS CRYING AT THE END BEFORE BED WITJ HER MOTHER, CHRIS SIMPLY CAME IN THE ROOM TOLD HER IT WAS BEDTIME PICKED HER LOVED HER AND LAID HER DOWN NO PROBLEMS 😊❤
Wake up. You are being played.
Mom please don't lose hope, you and Dad are doing a great JOB. Do you guys have a support system? You have done a marvelous job 🥰
You two are wonderful parents.
Daddy is ME. That "HEY!!" is serious but gentle.
As exhausted as you may get, YOU AND HUBBIE ARE DOING AN AWESOME JOB‼️To reiterate what you said in the video, she DOES seem to be comprehending, just can't express herself. You can actually tell she's comprehending more, just frustrated.
I've watched your videos for a while and you do an awesome job with Mikko. There are struggles but you do an excellent job navigating her needs. I did observe that she does understand but appears to use her temper to manipulate you. When Dad came in she understood his authority and settled right in
First,
Thanks so much for your vulnerability and allowing us along on Miko's journey. It has blessed our family so much and we call Miko my son's virtual cousin. We love watching how much she's grown and developed and you guy's love and support for her
Hang in there Mama, we too (4 year old) struggle with many of the things you all are going tbrough. And being that they are in the toddler years, is just an added layer of challenges. It has gotten better now that we allow him burn off some energy (ie. jump on the trampoline, movement activities before bed) , no electronics at least an hour before bed, and giving him a countdown.
Have you guys thought about using an AAC device as an additional way for Miko and your family to communicate?
@Tameka731 Thank you for your kind words, they are much appreciated. And I realize that you already googled whT an AAC device is, but I'll still include it here in case others are wondering the same thing. Peace and blessings
Communication devices, systems, strategies and tools that replace or support natural speech are known as augmentative and alternative communication (AAC). These tools support a person who has difficulties communicating using speech.
As a special education teacher I have to say your videos would be extremely helpful to teachers in training. They are dealing with practical reality, not just theory. They also give insight from the parents point of view. Thank you for sharing your life with others.
She seems to understand. She has disadvantages but using her temper to make you do what she wants you to do is pretty obvious. She can learn what the consequences for her unwanted behaviors are and what is acceptable. She is like other children at bed and nap time. If you are firm and not reward her acting out a understanding will develop. NO snacks mean no snacks. BEDTIME means bedtime.
Exactly
This is good advice, but remember to give mom grace because 3 year old nonverbal with autism is very exhausting. All day, every day, she is trying to be consistent, structured, but still show love and emoathy and comfort to a baby girl that is often struggling. It is difficult to see your baby struggle and not be able to communicate. They are both trying so much. It will get easier sticking with bedtime routine
@@kab9706 I so agree and wasn't in any way putting her efforts down. What she does is amazing. And sticking to a schedule is really good but key word is "sticking". When I was struggling with getting my child to adhere to bedtime, I put away all toys and other play distractions. When she would get up, I gently took her back to her bed with no communication other than "it's bedtime baby". And it worked. I know her baby is special needs but she will understand with repetitive actions. Please know I do empathize with her situation.
@owleyes5599 you're right and it's good advice, because making bargains once it's bedtime will only make things harder. I felt for her having to leave the room and have dad take over, it seemed she was overwhelmed after a long day. It's great that they can work together for their baby.
THIS!!
My mom told me once how i was an absolute nightmare to put to sleep. It took her hours to get to me to calm down. Bedtime was normally around 7 because it took me so long to settle. Eventually she changed the times to around 9-9:30 because she found thays when i started to actually calm down. Turns out her bedtime and my bedtime were at different hours . So i wonder if she has a set "bedtime" she prefers. I also had a sensory issue so my blankets/pillow needed to be silk and heavy. she would also only give me "tickels" (back tracing with finger tips and nails) during bed time, making me loo forward to it. So i was actually excited to head to bed. Maybe something similar? An activity that you only do during bed time or in bed but won't do outside that time?
Also your doing an amazing job! Your a superwomen. Please take a break when you can.
1. What toddler embraces bedtime?
2. What parent feigns over bedtime instructions?
3. In bed. Lights out. Period.
4. Routine 🤷
Great job with the routine! I really like how you told her we are doing dinner first and stuck with that and gave her a moment! Stick with that mentality when it comes to bed time. Miko, bed time hugs and kisses tuck her in and walk out. When she gets up, night night put her back in bed. 3rd time, no words just back in bed. 4th, 20th, 100th no words just back in bed. She will understand it is bed time after a few days. Be prepared for crying I know you don't like to see her cry but she needs her sleep and you need your peace at night. YOU CAN DO IT!
I don’t have advice, just enjoy watching a Mom really put her daughters needs first. You’re doing great, Mom! ❤
Its so refreshing to see her daddy step in to relieve you when you are having a hard time I admire you guys together as a team y'all are definitely family goals
I have a few nephews that are autistic, and I've seen how hard it can be. They are all verbal though, so I really can't fully understand how hard that aspect is. You are doing all the right things! Even posting this video and asking for advice is so humble and brave on your part. Keep up the good work, Momma! You're doing so well! God has selected you specifically to be this beautiful little girl's mom!
Also, this song may be an encouragement! One of my daughters said "Mom, this song reminds me of Mikko's mom" I think it could be a real encouragement! It's the Talleys "Hidden Heroes" ❤lots of love!!
Less talk more modeling, She will follow. She knows more than you think.
Precious just do everything you say do what you say and say what you mean and follow through she will get with the program. She’s a very intelligent little angel. I love you Miko I love you precious. I love you, Chris and the kids. She’s no different from any other kid. She just testing your butt.
Hi :) obviously you know the little sweetie best, so these are just some possible things food for thought ☺️ one thing that worked well for us with transitioning (and bed time of course is a big transition) is instill a sense of control with dialing a visual count down alarm (Amazon or lovevery have it) and she gets to dial it to 10 or 15 minutes to bed and she can chose which one, and I feel lighting is a very powerful queue for sleep so if possible could you have dimmable lights with warm color lights for evening time? As it gets a bit darker and darker in her personal space it can make her feel it’s time to sleep. Also perhaps a straight up transition could be difficult, incorporating something she enjoys doing into the routine might be nice sign posts for her to ease into it - like tucking dolls to bed, or kiss her favorite stuffy good night, and each of these things move her closer to be in the bed… and if she is particular with how her bed is set up maybe ask her to point at where she wants the pillow and where she wants the blanket etc… I’ve got a 3 year old and the power struggle is real 😅 you kinda have to come up w new tricks all the time, one that used to work really well is what I call the rejection game - so I’ll ask him can I tickle your feet, he shakes head no, then can I tickle your hand? no can I xxxxxx and so on for 4-5 things, being able to reject me and have me respect his boundaries on inconsequential things for a little bit seems to help him regain a sense of control and be calmer when need to follow important instructions… just some random things shared by a first time mom 😅 I can’t imagine how exhausted you must feel and while I of course admire your strength and resilience please allow yourself to take a breath and be with yourself as well 🙏☺️ take care mama
Wow!!! She’s doing so well holding her spoon and feeding herself. You guys have done so much to help her meet with success 👍🏾👍🏾👍🏾
You are a beautiful mom with a beautiful angel. I see your job is not easy but you got this because God strength is made perfect in your weakness. Praying for you and your family.
Sometimes she is just going to need to cry. If you know that her needs are met then you can keep doing like what you did at dinner time but with the understanding that there is a point where you just pick her up and put her in her bed no reaction no talking until the tantrum ceases. Soothe her when she has calmed down after a fit where she wasn't scared. If she is scared or anxious of course comfort her. However when she throws an angry fit just do not give her any reaction or explanation just pick her up and put her in bed no emotion whatsoever.
Mikko does beautiful feeding herself and I love how you are redirecting and giving her a minute to see what you are showing her. You are wonderful you are helping so many families learn how to work with family members or friends who are around. Thank you
Amazing work Mother. Bless you all. Your daughter is progressing well!
Mieko knows what she is doing she knows what she wants and doesnt want.. shes testing yall because she knows that she will get that comforting hug and goid job from mom i bet if u r a little more stern maybe u are off camera but i would try being a little more sterm because baby girl knows.. hamg in there all tjings are possible and meko knows whats going on.. play music lullabies at bed time w a nught light i would lay w her until she falls asleep. Shes still a baby an she is learning just like all other 2 an 3 year olds shes so beautiful. Hamg tught mama ut will get better..believe. ❤
She is the prettiest lil' girl in the 🌎 &You guys are fantastic parents!!!
Since she loves water, how about a warm bath prior to, to get her calmer for bedtime. Maybe with some lavender to calm ger sweet little mind.
I have been following you for some time and your doing an amazing job Mikko has come along way and her comprehension is awesome she’s so smart and you can see the frustration that she gets when she wants you to understand her.
Awwwwwn, I can't express how happy I am to see mikko doing some stuffs and talking too. You're the best parent anyone would ever think of. God bless you both amen❤❤❤❤❤
I feel that children really need the presence of a father's Authority. Many times you see when dad speaks in a household within the household the children will stop playing on moms loving nature and abide by the rule that is being enforced at the time. I love the dad came in Mikko's room gentle but firm and Mikko abided by his rule. They areva fabulous family, many blessings to you all.
Love to see the patience that you have with Mikko. ❤
Preyers are important.
God bless you and your beautiful daughter .
Fathers are sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo IMPORTANT in a child's life. The way Mikko's demeanor change when he walked in, the way he was firm but loving. I don't know what it is, maybe it's the fact that we women are naturally nurturers & maybe sometimes it can be hard to break away from that & the kids will just ride that wave until until until, autism or not, kids do that to their moms but less to their dads. Which goes to show Mikko understands very well and she knows how/where to push & prolong. The only difference is she's still learning how to communicate the best way she can. Lots of toddler moms are going through sis so take heart, listen to your emotions when you need to step away, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that, you are human too & need an outlet of your own
The look on her face after she threw the envelope proves that she is incredibly intelligent and just like every other child 😂 Mikko is phenomenal thank you for sharing her with us ❤
Most of her outburst are temper tantrums! Has nothing to do with autism at times! She’s very intelligent and a smart little lady! She knows right from wrong!! She’s very typical in certain aspects!!
Stop that please
@@jackson2009ify stop what ? I’m confused lovely
She have autism ok
I totally agree with your comment
Agree it’s behavioral not the autism… half the adults I worked with at the adult day program for adults with autism the behaviors come from being spoiled as kids
Dads get the job done. She didn't give a problem at all and went right to bed. Children always give mommy a rough time!!!!
Yep, She's used to mom catering to her emotions and needs, so shes using it to aviod bed time. Mom will have to stop responding to all of Mikos bedtime gestures.
This is so inspiring, I'm not even a mom yet (soon hopefully) but the way you are so loving still somehow makes me excited despite the struggles. Well done!
It’s amazing how most kids listen to Dads much more willingly than Mom. It must be the tone.
I don't know if this will help, but maybe if she takes the card with her to each task and then puts the card into the envelope once the task is over, she might transition better in between tasks.
You are simply amazing. My hat is off to you and your family for the work, dedication and persistence. Love and light to your family.
I just wanted to tell you that over the past 5 months I have been on this journey with you all. I came across you in a video doing her hair in front of the mirror and would stop and hold her chest to let her know it’s okay. It was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen on RUclips! From that moment on I was a fan. I have to say Thank You! Thank You for being vulnerable enough to share with us and Thank You because you have made me a better Mom and human just by seeing you interact with Mikko! I am a Mother of 3, I also don’t know what it is like for you. I venture to say being a Mom period is one of the most difficult jobs in the world and the most rewarding. With that being said I completely take my hat off to you and all the other Parents out there that have children with Autism or anything that doesn’t fully allow them to communicate the way the world seems “normal”. Hell, what is normal anyway?!?!? But I digress! I just really wanted you to know what an inspiration you are to so many of us!
Also I may be overstepping here but what this looks like to me is a normal child acting out before bed because she is very tired and just doesn’t want to go. They get to this point when they want to test us, just to see how far they can go. If you notice when she does something that she knows she isn’t supposed to (like throwing) she stops to wait for your reaction. It’s something all kids do right around this age. ❤
And you are such a kind person. That’s really the point… I love watching you be gentle. I’m seriously challenged in this area.❤
She is such a sweet girl and you guys are such great patient calm parents!! May God continue to bless you all!!
Look in Regional Services in your State or city . These services will help support in all areas of her life. Sound machine also and book about sleeping .
Awwwwww---She's definitely a daddy's girl ❤️❤️❤️
Y’all are so tender and loving. Wonderful parents. You both put so much into your children and it’s been so beautiful to witness lil M grow. With all my heart love. Thank you for sharing ❤
Play Cece Winan. Level 2 volume. The music is comforting. No kid wants to sleep at that age. You and your husband do a fabulous job!!
Awh… Mikko sweetie.. wow after all that daddy comes in and she doesn’t give him any trouble . Daddy’s girl. Sweet dreams Mikko❤
Excellent parenting❤❤❤
I believe what works for one child may not work for another one. However, experimenting with various suggestions may just help you find your own niche. The more she talks or signs to communicate, the easier it will be. She's frustrated and reacts the best way she knows how. Blessings, peace, and love🙏🏾☮️❤
Good job, mom. Stay firm she is safe and ok....❤ her will gets stronger as she grows, just set limits and stay consistent
You and your husband are amazing parents. Mikko is so smart. Speech therapy is a good way to start and help with communicating. When my son was diagnosed at 3 with Autism we started speech right away and had session 4 times a week. Tamtrums are typical toddler behaviors, but for my son it was a definite diagnosis, since they were nonstop. You are both doing amazing. Keep you the good work. And it will get easier. Stay strong. You got this.
Mikkos seems like a normal kid acting out. She is smart...😊Hang in there. You are doing good.
You are both amazing parents ❤️ and appreciate the incredible patience required to figure every change in behavior.
I value your insight into Mikko's structure process. When there is resistance to bedtime, does she eventually fall asleep from total exhaustion.
I can assure you that you hv a loving world wide family. We are all hoping for your own peace and calm. I do hope you guys hv date nights to focus souly on one another. Praying for your prayers to be answered on what you need darling.
Mikko radiates w so much love and beauty. ❤❤
Beautiful beautiful love wins! Gratitude for helping me b better everyday
She really is beautiful thanks for sharing her life yes it is very helpful .❤
Precious you are doing a good job and you have so much patience but Mikko knows you very well you see when dad comes in and talk she listened no crying , no tantrum , just a sweet hug . Mikko definitely knows how to get over on you Precious
Dear Precious,
I'm 62 now and when I see you in your videos you make me think of my life with my child.....
My son was a special needs child too, but he hadn't a correct diagnosis until he was 13.
It was very very difficult to raise him, especially the first 6 and a half years, because of his sleep disorder. And until 12 years old he was constantly (= 24/7) monitored by an adult otherwise he would have been in danger because he was extremly clumsy. The first time I let him home alone for an hour he was 18....
It was hard and it took its toll on me. I tried to do my best even if I was on the verge of exhaustion.
Today my son is 33 years old, has his job as a kitchen-aid and lives together with 3 other girls. He is serene and has a fullfilling life. I can't ask for more!
I told you all this to encourage you to never give up and to firmly believe in better (= easier) times. They will come!!!!
Big hugs from Italy
I so agree with Nicole,, bur as a parent of a special needs child: You and your husband are amazing!!!! Your dedication to being gentle humbles me. Again, amazing! I'm so glad you got yourself headphones, they've helped MY patience 10 fold. Know that there are people around the world sending their love and energy your way.. (I'm in Spain) Thank you for being so awesome in so many ways.
Hey Mama. I just want you to know that I see your work and I honor your efforts to help Mikko grow and to be the best mama you can be - even when you are tired. ❤
I learn so much from watching you.
As an outsider without the experience you have, I see you giving Mikko (not Miko, I am sorry) the emotional and visual/manipulable supports she needs while setting boundaries. It feels like another few days and you will be over the hump.
That team work and the assist in the end was everything. You both are amazing 🥹❤️❤️
It looks a little to me like she struggles with following the steps that are set out for her.
I remember it from my own childhood. When I was struggling to go along with something, I would look for comfort and stims wherever I could find them. It seems at 4:13 she really liked that card because it comforted her.
I think she’s at an age where she’s looking for ways to comfort and regulate herself but she needs space to explore that.
This can clash with routines or the way things are supposed to go but I think it’s important to keep in mind she’s trying to find a way to make things work for her, to make the outside world more bearable.
My mom told me that I always had my own way of doing things and that was because I could express so badly what was bugging me. For example when I was older I didn’t want to walk close to anyone because their movement irritated my sense of balance. Of course what stuck was just that I wasn’t willing to walk close to anyone and that i „isolated“ myself.
Routines are a hard thing especially in the evening and neurotypical children struggle with that as well. Maybe you need to find something she really likes, a new stim that can help her get it ? White noise, rocking, something like that ? You’re already amazing at seeing your kids sensory needs so I feel a little useless suggesting things :/
Also if you’re tired and need space for yourself that is also an important factor. If you find yourself trying to influence your girl to be more quiet and compliant because you really really need the rest, that is quite a sign. Does your daughter have other adults in her life that she likes and trusts? Are there more people who could also help take care of her ? I really hope you find some room for yourself where you can breathe and restore your energy!
I’ve been there. Mine is 24yrs old. It gets better. They do slowly learn independent skills.
You don’t even need to say it more than once. She heard you. Understood. Just being defiant. Just lead the way. Be strong. Be firm. My kiddo is semi verbal and I have to be a hardass sometimes but it helped a LOT. Sets expectations. Also I understand re dreams too. My kiddo started getting severe nightmares. But lights. No blue light. I give her control over a motion light if she gets scared in the night and if she wakes up she can sleep with me. But even that will change soon. You’re a great mom. Good job making her go get it too when she throws stuff. She knows what’s she’s doing lol.
It truly requires both of you. Each of you contributes individually to meeting her needs. Moms are nurturing by nature, while dads are firm. Dad has to step in when mom is tired. She's benefiting from the best of both of you.
Hubby’s timing was perfect. They were both frustrated and he was able to give them both peace.
You were especially made and equipped by God to raise this precious child. I pray for your continued strength and patience. You've got this. ❤❤❤
I love you Mikko I hate to see her cry but I understand that she doesn't understand it just makes me so sad I just want to hug her and tell her it's okay I love the way mommy explains it to her and her voice is soothing and gentle God bless you mom I can't imagine how hard it must be but you are strong beautiful black woman you got this God bless ya always🙏🏼🙏🏼
She listens to dad huh 😭
God bless you with strength and understanding. 🙏💝🥰
I know I've commented on other videos, but you guys have done, and are doing, such an AMAZING job with Mikko!!! I work with kids on the Spectrum and have for years. What you've done that's helped her to grow is something I've only ever seen professionals in the field help kids accomplish. I'm seriously SOOO impressed. Just in the last year of watching these videos, she has GROWN IMMENSELY. Keep doing whatever youre doing consistently, because it is working. Even with the difficulty of the nighttime routine, as long as you stay consistent, and I KNOW YOU GUYS DO, it will all work out. You're doing everything correctly.
@Tameka731 It seems to be at-home, speech and occupational-based therapy methods. Many of the things we use here, and that we used at my former center as well.
Consistency and schedules are key. My son went through this as well. You’re doing a great job.
Mom and dad, you’re doing such a fine job. Maybe try dimming the lights and she can pick a book for you to read at bedtime, and tuck her in before you start reading. Your husband reminds me of mine, he comes in and poof, in bed. Hey whatever works. Good luck and keep being awesome parents
You have perfect disposition to help your daughter..your whole family is lucky to have each other..