Hey Big Sisters - Dilemma Episode | Episode 150
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- Опубликовано: 21 окт 2024
- It is without a doubt that Dilemme episodes are y’all fave … riiight ? 👀 and guess what its our fave too !
Well this week we are treating you real good with one.. you just know the tea is about to tea!!
From marriage issues to friendship betrayals 🤭 are we saying to much ?? Better hurry and go watch the episode, you’ll definitely love it ❣️
Once again thank you for trusting us with your dilemmas and let us know your thoughts in the comment section 😘
Dr Chris Obwaka - +254 727093393
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On the first dilemma; 1st of all I'm a Kitt's follower and what I know for sure is that I am not sitting in discomfort in my own house neither am I waiting for my partner to speak to his cousin/brothers. I'll bring up the issue myself to the bros and cuzo and stand my ground. If my partner thinks otherwise awafuate,ikishindikana,I'm out. Kwanza with a 1month old baby🙅🏼🙅🏼No thankyou!
I know thats right!
If the husband cares so much about the bros then maybe he should rent a place for them and help them with bills and everything.
Standing on bussiness 😅😅🔥
I'm with you. It will be me telling them to leave my house directly, not me begging my husband nor leaving the comfort of my own home.
Hey ladies, you have international audience, so please do try to translate something said in one of Kenyan languages.
That first dilemma I'd say hosting all those people plus a househelp while having a one month old baby is total madness. That man doesn't love that lady at all. The way postpartum period is the ghetto and one goes through so many emotions. They should give you space to nurse your baby and just be free to regroup after pregnancy. This is time for you and your baby plus your spouse. Househelp hapa na pale yes but three more people isn't fair on you emotionally and even financially. Tell your man he is being inconsiderate.
Marriage is not prison. Why are women allowing relatives (theirs or hubby’s) to occupy and run their homes? Then they don’t contribute???? Please take control of your homes
Most of these dilemmas can be solved through communication and therapy. I am heading to Lydia's page for a free therapy session.
About the lastborn thing, I just laughed cause it's true. We brush them off a lot. Our lastborn keeps talking about how she feels unseen even by society cause "we took all the spotlight" to a point where in church or in family gatherings, people think I am the lastborn cause they don't remember seeing her 🤣🤣. They even ask, "Haiya, your parents have another child?" Sidenote: we are three, and I am the middleborn. We usually laugh at her struggles cause we assume since she was baby'd a lot, she doesn't have any issues. And even her opinions on serious issues weigh less. You'll see people holding back laughter when she tries to give an opinion (very bad). I will listen to her more now. Will try my best lol
There's no way I'll wait for lunch hour to watch this😶..... Sorry HR🥲
Lots of love guys ❤
That last born issue hits home...its not only about toxic families...the problems we face may just stem from the fact that we are last borns,, being looked down at, not being listened to, they think you aint capable of anything yet you may even have achieved more... & i bet lastborns see the through the shit of every family member and we are resented for trying to forge a diff path
Don't forget the fact that we're not involved in major family decisions or sometimes just get overlooked altogether for trying to have an identity of our own😮💨
@@perism1586wacha tu! 😢the number of meetings done without you, some even about you and their decisions are finalll
Mimi kwanza am big on forging different paths. Am now aware that I always have a tinge of rebellion at the back of my mind😂😂. But I love that for me. Yes am a last born.
When Murugi shared the verse and expressed her mum related fearful thoughts, as a mum myself who gets such thoughts felt home!
So where do we serve juice😊
I agree about last borns. Your voice is often unheard, and your opinions hold no weight. The most irritating thing is not being allowed to grow as a person. You're always a "baby". Which leads to being dismissed by the older ones. In my dynamic it's funny to see because I am the second of twins and my twin is treated like a middle child not a baby even though we are the same age
2 Timothy 1:7. I love that Bible verse too Murugi. It is my go to and absolute fav..
That Part of being a Mum and scared of dying and leaving my kids! hit deep😇
With the last born thing, there's definitely a privilege perspective of how well off your family is - that definitely affects dynamics. Being piled on by both your parents AND your siblings is a lot. I think there's space for both. The view of last borns being babied is a minor element
This is on point being a lastborn
The Zach story at the beginning 😂😂😂
Right😂😂😂😂😂😂
Finally it feels like Wednesday 🎉 Its definitely TMI❤
Talking about your trajectories, one of Murugi's "almost deal breaker" in a deal breaker episode was being in a long distance relationship and now she's already been through it and came out of it.
Would love to watch TMI bloopers one day😂 your intros are hilarious!
There is a dynamic that exists whereby, the age gap between the last born and the other children is not big, so they are subjected to responsibilities just like everyone else but their opinion is not necessarily valued. They are expected to have the same output for a decision they were not involved in.
Also very true, last borns are just expected to be sent or to do certain tasks at home. Some first borns are like why would I get up and clear the table if the last born is there, they will tell them to do it.
Also, other heavy lastborn dynamics exist that don't necessarily stem from toxic families. Eg, small age gap between the other siblings and the lastborn (as you've mentioned), situations where financial status of the parents worsens with time, having older siblings who are over-achievers, general less parental attention due to old age.
Those dynamics from toxic families include having older siblings who are bullies (even ganging up with parents), jealous, manipulative and even abusive.
A lot of last born dynamics are generally overlooked because the common perception is that they're always coddled and treated like pookie bears.
Btw I just assume such tasks aren't for me? Is it really toxic? I'm the first born and 9 years older and some things are just his tasks in our place. But maybe we should change that
@@ShiruShiru-j1d but I don't love chores either way. But in my defense 😅 we have a house help and our last born is very hardworking
Wueh! The Dilemmas today have Dilemmad!!
On the Lastborn topics, I love Murugi however she is an example of the society mindsets that leave lastborns feeling oppressed! I love that Nelly has had it smooth, not all lastborn have had it like that and also I don’t like the fact that she refers to Nelly as a “baby” because once Nelly starts wanting her Voice heard and wants to Assert herself as an adult! There will be some problems.
Sure, she compares lastborns to how Nelly was and is treated. Not all last borns get that kind of treatment. Am a lastborn, have been psychologically and physically abused by my family. I say all of them...cos it is a system that is always against me. In therapy, this is the third year now. There's no heartbreak that have experienced like the one from my own family... got depression, ptsd and panic disorder...they've never cared upto date...they even chased me out of home.....won't share more cos this ain't the time but hope you can see not everyone gets the babied treatment.
Last born issue, imagine kutumwa tumwa and it’s your own ruracio 🙄 sifai kuonekana and I can be called anytime. Relatives can be something else.
All over Melissa's page because Lyd said😅
I soooo love this podcast mmmh yummy🥰😍Thank you sisters for the free therapy!!🤩😇
I can relate with Lydia, I used to think it’s such a big issue to have a child when young, or still in school and unmarried; also given than I had very strict parents even the thought of it never crossed my mind. Later on to find that there is actually nothing wrong with it, and if you have/had the support then good for them.
Many people out here need therapy and don't even realize it. Thank you so much for this
The post traumatic after a horrific episode is real. I remember the first time being away and there was bombing in the City & we were trapped in the house not sure if the threat is over & waiting for help.
Loud sounds really scares me😂i become frozen.
Last borns we need therapy coz weeh, we are treated like we don't have brains. I hate being a lastborn soo much.
I agree,, lots lots of therapy
I am so sorry you guys are going through that 😭 damn I must be a lucky last born then
First dilemma is just crazy😮
Wednesdays make sense because of you guys
Its definitely TMI🎉🎉
I have watched tmi for a while and honestly I feel like on some topics Murugi is dismissive while Lydia is usually more empathetic...But if its something that has happened to people close to her she's empathetic and she'll even say sorry for what you went through but when reading random people's dilemmas or confessions on some if not most she's usually dismissive , like even if someone is making a dumb decision you can tell them the truth and still be compassionate like we have all done dump shit and just because you came the other side doesn't make you better than those who are making the dumb decisions you also made
love the monochrome outfits!!💜
That Zack part had me in stitches😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 I love yu girls. See yu on 31st
The last born issue is very real. Nobody chose when they were born nor the family born into.
1. We live in a world that doesn’t respect youth, we really fight for respect that you may never get.
2.Everybody assumes that you had it easy and heavily invalidate your experiences.
3. Even when your family isn’t toxic other people still treat you as a lesser person once they find out.
4. People feel entitled to your energy because “you had it easy”
5. The bullying because you had it easy
6. The babying is not always a privilege it takes away our independence.
7. Your efforts are always credited to your elder siblings.
8. How people wait for you to fail 🙄
9. How hard your parents can be out of fear of spoiling you.
10. The scapegoating
11. The gaslighting
12. How we take the blame for first borns struggles yet it’s the parents who let you take their responsibilities.
13. How people treat you like you shouldn’t exist.
This list can continue, the world should be aware of the effects. Even in not so toxic families people do these things very unaware of the effect. Not to justify bad behavior but some of them are a result of of the above.
Regarding lastborn, it's crazy how the older siblings assume they are entitled you taking care of their children. That's our form of black tax.
You should refuse haiya
Lastborns are only cute when we're quiet and cute and cuddly and being sent for errands. But when we want to voice our opinions,...........
When we try to bring up the dysfunction in our families.........
When we want to call out older siblings for enabling toxic spouses..............
Yoh! It feels like your job is to observe and not act . Which is sh@÷t
number three thought would be number 1.its definitely TMI
Great Episode Ladies..
kindly be interpreting for us the none swahili speakers
Number 1 here, ready for a good episode🎉🎉❤
Hiding from my HR for TMI🎉
Our last born is the baby of the family. He is 21yrs. I wonder if he will ever just grow up and stop being a baby. Btw he is disciplined and a good boy 😌. For sure he does not have an opinion he is 21yrs . .. everyone else is above 30.
Exactly why he will never grow up. Treat him like an adult he will step up like an adult. He didn’t choose to be born after you. Treating him like a child then complaining about it doesn’t help anyone. People need to start taking responsibility for their actions even when they are above 30 years.
thanks ladies. this was timely!!!!!
Hey ladies, can we have subtitles for your non-kenyan in-betweeners.
Dillema episodes are always on flick
I have my cookies, ready for the premium tea😂😂😂
12th May dilemmas 😢😢whaat?
Wednesday is now wednesdaying🎉
Hi Gorgeous Ladies. I'm a serious fan and I'm working my way through your episodes archives❤. I'm a non-swahili speaker and would be so grateful if you could add the English meaning ( when possible) when you say something in Swahili or the Kenyan language. Please forgive me if I sound entitled but I don't want to miss out on anything 🤭. I appreciate that this may not always be possible due to conversational flow, so I'll take whatever is practical. For example, on this episode, 1st dilemma, I couldn't quite make out what the lady's hubby replied when she raised concerns around the amount of relatives they had living with them. Thank you and I hope you keep blessing us with amazing content ❤
The hubby dismissed her concerns telling her "she doesn't want /doesn't support him helping his family" direct translation 😅 hope this helps
What's the name of the Tiktoker?
Its definitely TMI🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
It's amazing how we quote bible verses that fits us😮.and then continue to say abortion is not murder isn't it the same God or?
Let people have their opinions and worship their God. You're judgy eei
Murugi's reactions 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Finally 🥰, it's definitely TMI❤🎉
Yooo i experience a pregnant x. Wasn't easy.😂 still healing
My mum says he’s a gay too 😅😅😅😢
Please give us the #tiktoker's handle... one who talks about how the position you're born in influences your chats
There are last born then there are us who are in the middle nobody know we are there
Lydia’s swahili is cute
It's definitely TMI❤
Made it here 😊😊😊😊hello girls
Mliwacha kushikana mikono because of whhyyy😅😅 enjoying the episode though.❤
Wednesday 🎉🎉
Wednesday tmi
This episode is a bit too triggering. Need to take a break. Heh.
I was triggered when Murugi was kinda dismissive about the lastborn issue even though I'm a very loved and happy lastborn.(maybe because I've seen some lastborns go thru it).She said she struggles with not being taken seriously and Murugi did exactly that😂😢. Loved that Lydia was very kind and understanding of the issue though, especially because she's a firstborn as well. I think space can be created for all the borns equally.
Acha nichukue break for a few episodes nirudi😂
@@ShiruShiru-j1d heyyy😊okay for me personally I've not even reached that part of the episode (so I don't think I can comment on it). All the stories about how men were behaving at the start is what I just needed to unplug from for a while 😅😂because whyyy? And it reminded me of some men in my life too who were also equally acting as funny😭That was an indicator for me I might need therapy because why was just listening so annoying and taking me to a dark place.
Let's just take our breaks atp😭😂
Eating my kashata on here😅
At 53:07 Jo finally said it 😂😂😂 iykyk.... Absolutely
Murugii
You're indoors taking self prescribed medication for something that involves your reproductive system, and you're laughing? Sometimes women we joke too much
Also, if you're going to have an abortion please stop saying you did it coz of so and so. Like, how do you leave such a major decision in the hands of people? If you do procure an abortion, make sure you arrive at that decision by yourself so you're not feeling guilty and then say so and so advised me to abort. Eish! Ladies please!
the girl who's man aborted the baby should be thankful it ended,mine they decided to keep it with an ex baby mama and when I asked if they could get it out for our sake he said no,he doesn't wanna let me go coz I'm ready but I hate him so much for that
Why are you still there if you hate him...That's a potential deal breaker for you just saying lakini
If you hate him, don't stay with him then you can't even control the other woman's body sweetie 🥱 you are only responsible for your life and your womb,no one else's 😊that man wants to eat his cake and still have it, that's why he doesn't want to let you go 😅
You're mad she didn't abort. Girl please.
Also, if you hate him please drop him
@@dorahmulinge3800 uuhm maybe you're the mad person here,girrll if you've never been with a love bomber I think you shouldn't have commented and also Idk why you're an in betweener bcoz they constantly say how pple are manipulative,but thank God I moved so now I'm a better place texting you this
@@karenkinyua5020 I have never been with a lovebomber yes. And I know people can be manipulative. Simply put, if you hate a guy, drop him. Hard? Yes! But the longer you stay that harder it gets
first borns do alot tho
First one here yaahy
First
12th May dilemmas 😢😢whaat?