The Generosity of Scars | Scott Mann | TEDxSantaBarbara
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- Опубликовано: 16 дек 2019
- Your darkest struggle can be your greatest gift to those you lead...if you are willing to pay the price. Retired Lieutenant Colonel Scott Mann spent nearly 23 years operating in the trust-depleted communities of Afghanistan, Panama, Ecuador, Peru, and Colombia, building deep relationships and mobilizing thousands of indigenous people to stand up against hostile threats. After going through a turbulent transition to civilian life, Scott learned to use storytelling to help heal from the wounds of war and reconnect with his community.
Today, Scott trains business leaders ranging from corporate bank presidents to entrepreneurs, to employ the unique human connection skills he used in life and death situations known as Rooftop Leadership. Most recently, Scott has written and is performing, an award winning play, called "Last Out" that is currently on tour across America.
Scott is supported in the red circle by his "Last Out" Cast: Ame Livingston, who hails from a military family. Len Bruce, a professional actor and former Green Beret, and Bryan Bachman an actor and former Army Paratrooper. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx
Falling apart in front of everyone and giving your family the insights into what's happening in your world is the best place to release the trauma and start again and again if that's what it takes. What a wonderful guy.
thats strong!
wow!!!!
100% true
Thanks so much Kara. It's been quite a ride!
@@peterdgrubb Thank you Sir.
My oldest son is dealing with lots of scars and issues from his 3 combat tours. I only wish that he'd had the chance to see this ... I think it might have helped him. I'm also a vet and still have issues that haunt me but I've gotten better at handling them. Thanks so very much for what you do for our VETS and their families and friends.GBU
Connection through understanding and being understood is a powerful thing. Thank you for this vulnerability
Never underestimate the power of art to express what words alone cannot.
Truth.💯❤️🩹
Opening up to your emotion is big, doing it in front of others is truly very brave and generous.
it is 100%
True very true
We men rarely do.
powerful!
@@rajanaasperis3667 yes
Sharing your scars and battle stories in the way this guy is talking about makes you so vulnerable and takes so much courage. This man is setting a brilliant example by doing so.
And it's really the only way to heal
It's not easy to be raw like this
Like he said, this talk is not pro war, anti war - it's about being aware of how many of our youth decide it is their duty to sign up and go to war - we must ensure when they come back, there are programs, support - both short term and long term. There is so much to be learned from these experiences. Thank you Scott
Mental health, for returned soldiers or just every day people is so important
So much to learn! Not just about ourselves but how other countries and their people operate. I wish there didn't have to be any war though
This is such a good example of why people should be more vulnerable and allow each other to share their pain, and scars.
I'm glad this man has been able to find some meaning in his return to civilian life, I can't imagine how difficult of a transition it would be.
My heart goes out to men like this who have to readjust to normal life, clearly a very difficult process.
👍
Men and woman mate.
it's a tough thing
Military people are so strong and so vulnerable at the same time. Respect to you all guys.
It felt tough at the time Early, but the outreach with those in dark places since then has really made it worth it.
My heart started THUMPING when this started. I also have PTSD and even though I haven't been in service, loud noises, shouting - I start trembling every time.
Ouch that would be awful to experience...
Same! Woke me tf up.
hahahaha yeah i feel that
Got me
The stuff he talks about at 11:10 is so true - other people will always find parallels between your story and their own, the hard part is just opening up and creating the opportunity to have that connection.
Emotional access, I had a friend who wore an elastic band on his wrist 24-7. It helped ground him in the throws of emotion.
I had a friend like that too, really helped keep her chill.
Yeah I never ever had the urge to serve and this is why. But Scott clearly is helping so many.
Overwhelming and powerful!!!!
I was not expecting how hard this would hit me. What an incredibly journey this guy has been on... And the way he's helping. I'm really taken aback by this.
Same! Absolutely!
@@judeblyth3606 Thanks Jude.
I am speechless.
I didnt know too.
@@rooftopleadership222 terrific talk Scott, thanks.
I have sent this to a few friends as a reminder that healing, talking, sharing is so important in order to get on top of things and to feel better about one's self.
Thank you Mia
Appreciated.
Important stuff
@@harrietgomez5859 👍
@@harrietgomez5859 yes it is
Okay so that opening, Scott's face.... His expression says everything. I could feel his fear and pain. This is a heavy watch
Such a heavy watch but I learnt a whole lot
I was going to say that he should be an actor but after watching this i see the incredible work he is doing
@@andreshedberg 👍
Very brutal
There is a reason some of the greatest literature of all time is given in the form of narrative and parable.
Why do so many have to pay the price, when can peace and love and empathy be our forces of good!
So true!
After watching this, I can’t help but think there are so many raw emotions in the battlefield that many of us may comprehend but we will never fully understand the reality of living through that, how it shakes you to your core. We are very privileged that there are people who serve our country so we don’t have to experience moments that rattle the human psyche in such a way, and even more privileged that we live in the country we do and don’t have to see moments like this as due course. This story really highlights how much I have in my life to offer others because I come from a place with so much.
The look on his face at the end made me tear up, he should be so proud of himself for what he's overcome.
Im 47 and on an infinite journey towards healing, from severe childhood and generational trauma. Those scars are your greatest teacher!! Once you learn the lessons, it’s your job to share your journey and teach others. Absolutely BRILLIANT Ted Talk!! Much love, strength and peace, from Country Victoria. Australia. ✌️✌️✌️
Joanna, I love your comment. Really solidified how I am feeling after watching Scott's talk. Thank you
@@vladkarchenko I’m really happy to hear it resonated it with you. X
The dark place, what an increadible story and thrilled you're here to tell it.
Oh my goodness. He just took me and put me into his world and experience. This was an emotional experience and so powerful. Thank you
Yeah I'm a little shook after watching it
Me Too!
wow this got me.
wow
This whole talk is amazing proof of the fact that everyone has some kind of trauma or hardship they're working through, and if you just open your heart to understanding instead of judging it can create a wonderful connection and moment of healing.
Malyka thanks for summarizing it this way. I couldn't agree more. Flowers grow out of rocky ground.
I am from a country where there is a war. I know the stories of people who survived and who didn't... Both cases have not the best ever outcome. You are an exception, good job, Scott.
Crying. I’m just in tears. The end where he shares the moment about the silly band with the soldier from the audience. This is pure humanity.
It would be such a relief for other servicemen to find this talk, or to even find Scott. I know quite a few who still have such issues talking openly.
13:05 ‘A great scar story is a story about you that you don’t want to tell yourself’. We all have great scar stories, it takes a lot of introspection and personal work to bring them to the surface, but once they are out there, they give a voice to countless others who never had the words to express their inner most self. That is a gift beyond compare.
It's the ultimate generosity isn't it?!
555
the honesty here is next level. so many don't or haven't talked about the scars these brave people come back with after service. scott is doing much needed work and i am so grateful
Great send Ali, this is really something, what a great guy Scott is.
It's refreshing to see that there are those who are aware of the help that is needed
most important stuff
Scars of relatability. OMG this story is amazing.
He's absolutely right though, when you choose to share your trauma with someone the connection you make with them is so powerful and pure because it's based on trust and healing. So beautiful.
Cappi, this is a beautiful share. Thank you.
Thank you, Cappi!
Thank you for your service Scott!
This talk is unique and so perfectly delivered. Thank you for this talk, Scott
I appreciate your support, Kotak!
I can't even begin to comprehend how Scott gets his strength, he must know how much we need it.
Taz, great send and some serious perspective for me. Cheers
his strength is incredible
He is doing God's work
He's been through a lot and it is really extraordinary.
Super human, obviously
What a beautiful human, it's so endearing when someone just lays out all their vulnerability in such an openly proud way.
Thanks Ron. Trying to do that daily where I can. So many folks hurting out there.
@@rooftopleadership222 Probably because people are finally learning what it means to sit with pain and that we are not our thoughts. Tough work, thank you for all that you!!
This man has been on such an incredible journey, so amazing for him to still be here and have the courage to share it with people.
yeah i know right
I can't imagine how hard it must have been to try and help people who are trying to cause you harm.
Scott did another talk on leadership that was good, but this, this is just awe inspiring !!!!
Thanks Scott, you still serve your country well!
Thank you, Junior!
@@rooftopleadership222 awesome man very awesome!
I did 2 tours in Afghanistan....AMEN to this Soldier for sharing.
I have never met people who had experiences like this speaker had. I am really impressed by what can happen to people after coming back from a flashpoint. Thank you for sharing this experience with us.
A message for all of us who have been broken- or who still are. I will be sharing this, thank you Scott
Yes so true.
I really enjoy the creative exposition in this talk! Very unique and outside the box story telling. I'd be interested to see his whole play!
Thank you, Shane!
It's amazing what happens when we are vulnerable and open to talking about the things that hurt us, I think that's where real connection comes from a lot of the time
Same. And its also so important for returning service men.
As close as I've seen to the real emotions of war-fear-anger... great talk.
wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
amazing talk!!!
that really grabs at the start doesn't it?
@@samuelygeissler does it ever!!!
WOW!!!!
Military life is a collectivist-oriented culture where you kind of have to define your sense of self-worth on other people, your rank, the success of your mission, and so on. Transitioning out of the service back to the civilian world--an individualist-oriented culture, can suddenly make you feel very isolated, not being important anymore, and losing a sense of purpose in life. Sociologists have argued that when individuals feel isolated/disconnected from themselves, others, and the society as a whole, they may choose to end their lives. Transitioning from one culture to another will undoubtedly bring many challenges and difficulties. Many immigrants face these same issues when they try to settle down into a new culture/county.
Most people probably don't realize the hug cultural differences between the military and civilian societies (it affects your self-esteem, self-worth, and the very corn concept of being a human), so they underestimate the difficulties vets face when getting out of the service. Of course, with the scars from the service/combat/deployment related trauma, life-death experience, and working in highly stressful and threatening working environments, vets are probably dealing with tons of unimaginable issues/problems that civilians simply cannot understand or relate. I personally feel like the military world is like a very concentrated version of all sorts of our societal problems (not by design, but just the type of job they do).
But you know what, the hardship creates true heroes, and the toughest experience can create the greatest warrior. The relationships/bonds a vet builds with others during his/her serve time are probably some of the most full-filling types of love that any human can possibly experience. Every veteran's path is inspiring and needs to be cherished and celebrated.
Learning to manage thoughts and emotions by practicing daily meditation (a great exercise to your brain), developing a healthy lifestyle (e.g., eating healthy, exercising regularly), talking to someone can be very helpful. May all vets be safe and healthy!
I’ve seen another talk he gave, which was so powerful in itself, but this talk is something else altogether. I’ve not seen any TED talk like it.
I think everyone needs to hear stories from experiences like this, regardless of whether you connect personally with the content or not. It is stories like this, the hero’s journey, that sparks something in each of us. It hits a primordial part of us that day to day life makes us forget. We are each more than we think.
I got goose bumps watching this. I know this man's trauma was mostly driven by way, but I genuinely believe the way in which he mustered up the energy to find healing could be inspiration to so many caught up in inter-generational trauma. It's so hard to break down those walls, but when you do, the freedom is amazing. thank you Scott.
Wow yes the more we talk the better we are
Great job today to all of you in Youngstown, OH. Thanks to VETTIX for the tickets and I had no idea the impact this play was going to have on me. I am a retired Army Master Sergeant with nearly 26 active years. None of which was in combat or deployed. I have heard plenty of stories like so many others and try to understand but your play today truly made a difference and all of you were phenomenal in your performance. Keep up the great work and keep spreading the information. Hooah!
thank you for your service...
Once I watched a documentary about 7 people with scars and their stories. It's just amazing how deep the simple signs on the body can be. Your story is the eighth and the most powerful. I appreciate you and all that you are doing.
I think I know the doco you're talking about it was pretty mind blowing
I've got chills or something from this... Scott, you set an amazing example for those returning from service. Your purpose is needed now more than ever. I loved this talk so much. I'll definitely be sharing this with some mates. Thank you Scott for doing all that you are doing.
OMG did not see this coming from a ted talk.
😯 😦 😧 😮 😲
Thanks David. It's more important than ever now after the Afghanistan collapse. Thanks for sharing it.
@@miroslavhancinsky6111 Thanks so much
I know there's been an influx of returned soldiers the last couple of years, it's heartbreaking to think that their is such lack of support for them. This guy is fantastic, he clearly knows and is actually doing something to help. He's pretty incredible.
This talk gave me a cold shiver.
The despair of living and of dying. There are some places so unimaginable unless you've been there, you can't understand.
Well said Lanny. Well said.
isn't this the truth!
ive said this about my boarding school, that i can explain for days on end but people will never get it. Not that they don't have the mental capacity to do so, but that they simply havent experienced or seen or done what it is that needed to be seen/done to be able to understand. It is unnatural, and thus can only be understood if one was present at the time. Once that window is over, the ability to grasp it leaves, no matter how vivid a picture I paint.
Imagine living in such trauma that your family leaves the room because they can't handle the state you are in anymore.
happens much too frequently.
sounds like my dads state all the time.
Definitely not what I was anticipating but so so good. What a resilient and admirable human. So much respect.
Yeah this really gave me a different perspective on return soldiers.
Earl. Thank you. I am very humbled.
@@sandycrisp4518 Thanks for watching Sandy.
💕 💞 💓 💗 💖what an emotional talk, so different yet so relevant - thank you Scott💕 💞 💓 💗 💖
I am just blown away by this...
wow!!!
wow wow wow
Nora, thank you. I wanted to take a different approach to this talk. Hardest talk I've ever given.
@@magnuskarlsonn Thanks Magnus.
Only through suffering can we find lightness, darkness hides in the places we ignore.
wow thats profound!
POWERFUL!!!!
so so powerful
Thanks for watching Margaret.
Those that wage these wars do not have any idea of the scars that are left on those who have to fight. Scott, you are amazing. Please never stop doing what you're doing
have always felt this way. those who think it is necessary should be on the front line
Tingles from the opening. Literal goose bumps
Bless you Scott, and thank you for your continued service to all.
Thanks Kristian. It's my honor.
4th time watching, this is one of the most beautifully crafted TED talks I've ever listened to. It has a kind of meaning and power that I keep coming back to, over and over.
you may be addicted! seek help!
I have watched twice, it shakes you.
@@lizyvuen Wow. Thank you.
@@johnrowan9033 Ha. Well said Rowan. Take two Rooftops and call me in the morning.
You made my week Luiz. Thanks so much.
LOVE this man and his message. Profound.
wow this talk was simply incredible. i learnt so much and just wow, i had no idea. kudos to scott and every one else who has fought for our country and have continued to help each other upon their return.
Appreciate it Heather. You are so kind.
My brother did, and is still messed up.
Took me a while to click this, thanks.
This is a very calm talk, yet the message is so crucial and one that we all need to listen to. It is time to take control of our own lives back.
truth!
Okay wow what a powerful talk, had me feeling things from start to finish.
I'm really glad Mike. I was terrified doing it. Ha.
This talk was captivating and shook me…
10:50- This is incredible.
This story made me cry. It touched me deeply.
Ava thank you for sending this my way.
It's one of those talks that makes you think a lot about the way things are modeled and pushed forward, definitely reason to get emotional.
Healing yourself while giving to others, the generosity of scars. Very well said.
So brave, just amazing talk.
Oh my, your story made me cry. You are a real dad with a golden heart. Even this monster, I mean war, haven't taken it away from you.
His strength of character is not something you see very often at all
‘Green Beret’s don’t write plays, Joe’…look at that those cut scene sequences! This is a person who faces challenges and knows what it means to really means to keep on living
The way this talk ended it, was perfect. Just nailed it.
When you can't die or live because of what you experienced where is the accountability and responsibility. You're a good man Scott Mann
Being a mom of a boy, I understand your feelings so much.
I had the honor of seeing the play... I just want to thank you again for sharing your story and helping me be able to open up just a little more and share mine. Scars... We all have them just some might be bigger than others. You're right, share your story to help other's. You all are amazing people and may God bless you and your show.
so amazing, I want to see it too.
Some of the most uncomfortable experiences are the one's where we grow the most. What a powerful journey this man has been on, his honesty and transparency is admirable. A very good man.
He's an amazing man.
Thank you so much Giulio. I am very humbled by your words.
@@robertahvieira Thanks so much.
Gripping! This is a good man with an important message!
Damn. That was heavy. Glad to see your fun meter is once again pointed the right way. Thank you for this
one of the most powerful talks I have ever seen!
@@theresarives Absolutely!
😧 😮 😲
Thanks so much - It took a bit, but I got it back together. Using my scars to serve now.
@@theresarives I am so humbled. Thank you. Come see our play okay?!
Scars, wear them proudly. Many wonderful insights in this talk.
so many. very eye opening.
13:48- this is truth, and it is something that people need to wake up to
these guys, going to war just for their country... the scars they come back with... i hope that veterans are starting to see more support, they deserve it so much.
my dad fought, he came back but never came back.
maybe today after this vote a new administration will treat our vets right.
@@michaelhunt635 wow this vote is taking its toll on me
yes! this! so important.
@@michaelhunt635 a lot more is going to be alright again.
Thank goodness we are finally able to open up about mental health, especially for our returned soldiers.
It's about time hey
This is intense....
wow no kidding
no kidding, really good though.
really intense
😯 😦 😧 😮 😲wow😯 😦 😧 😮 😲
Thank you for watching.
Such an incredible perspective to come from such traumatic experiences.
I almost clicked out of this when I first heard it start. At the end, I didnt want it to be over. Very very good.
excellent talk.
me too, but I am here also
it is amazingly moving powerful, wow
Thank you Michael for your review, it is indeed a ted I have never seen the type of before. I was moved by it deeply.
@@helenimnotready thank you it is really good.
The concept of sharing your story as a way to create a safe bubble where others can then share in the safety of your narrative it powerful. It was a perfect explanation of why congruence in therapy is so important.
So true, when we can come together and be real and honest, that's where the healing really starts
incredible point of view to listen to. ya never know how deep these things run for some people and it's so important for us to be aware
Incredibly important, I agree
I wonder now through the chaos of the last year what this man thinks of us and how as a society we have faced this challenge?
Yeah good point.
agree!
I think there are people from both sides who are still trying to seek revenge from what happened September 11th. It saddens me that such a beautiful, self-aware human - had to take up arms in the first place. It was never our place to invade any other country. But this man, Scott, has clearly come out the other side with a huge heart and wanting to help.
IT's a scary world
Fantastic, I cried a lot too. Impressed by the thoughts and work thats been into this
Thank you!
We can see how much it hurts, Scott.
And what are you doing to help?
This is so beautifully and deeply done. What a powerful and important message the Generosity of Scars is! Such a great way to model vulnerability and open the door for our veterans to heal. So well done. I can't wait to have you all in San Diego!!
I for one remember very clearly what it was like for our returned military and the lack of access to mental health support - Scott is doing what our governments should have pre-empted a long time ago, we could have saved a lot of lives and a lot of families with this honesty.
Yeah, really.
I appreciate your support, Peter!
Scott is doing the hard work TPTB should have implemented a long time ago
@@halinatomczyk1714 true
My Father is one of them and it's because of people like Scott that he is able to process and heal the way he does, and our family.