To all those watching this video for their mental health, in case no one tells you today, just know you’re not alone (a lot of us are here for the same reasons) and you’re doing an amazing job getting on top of your mental health. And you should be proud of yourself for doing so. I hope you have an amazing day, and know we’re all here with you :)
For those of you who come to the comment section for support, just know we’re all rooting for you. You can’t see us but we’re all here cheering you and your mental health on. You got this, don’t give up
I will watch it again then. Because even though the guy gives me the impression of having many interesting stories to tell, I don't see how asking those two questions would help me in any way. I will watch again.
I seen a video recently that said you can silence your thoughts by saying in you mind, "I wonder what my next thought will be". It seems to work. All the Best.
Sanskrit is a perfect language. When pronounced, verbally or internally, properly or improperly, real change occurs. It is a true blessing to have this gift from above. Use it wisely. Learn all you can. Word is wand!
1. Have Daily Negative Thought Time 2. Replace the Negative Thoughts 3. Be Your Own Best Friend 4. Write Instead Of Think 5. Make A Conscious Effort To Find Things To Love, Like And Appreciate 6. Establish New Habits 7. Use Affirmations 8. Develop Your Success Routine 9. Channel Those Thoughts Into Something Constructive
@@bensquires2819 the only being capable of knowing you and loving you deeply, is your own self. You have to be gentle and compassionate to the source where your negativity comes from. Just wants to be heard, and loved with the love only you hold.
@@bensquires2819 // WAYS TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND: * BECOME IN TUNE WITH YOURSELF. Know yourself & needs. * FOLLOW YOUR HEALTHY PREFERENCES (so don't eat a 7 pound steak). The Golden Mean: All Things in Moderation. * What activities, personalities, environments, home decore, etc. agitate you; or, calm & please you ?? * VOTE with Selection, & your feet (change location). In general, do not impart your opinion on others. If so, do so diplomatically. * Drink when you thirst. * Eat a reasonable portion of healthy food when hungry. Cheat on your diet occasionally. * Rest when you are tired. Sleep or take a break as needed. * Develop interests that appeal to you. Learn to share some of them for mutual enjoyment; &, not to better someone. * Live within your means. * Accept the situation OF YOURSELF. (What U r is God's gift to U. What U become is ur gift to God.) * Try to accept & come to terms with the fact U (any of us) r not the most amazing person that ever lived. * Seek the positive without strife or striving.
This talk really changed my life. Strangely enough, esspecially the second question "how do they behave?" has worked for me. Images started to appear in my mind of how my thoughts did behave each time I asked myself that question: like raging gremlins, frustrated soldiers, prisoners, anxious bees or nagging neighbours. These pictures were very powerful, as they put me right in the viewer seat, and immediately distanced those thoughts from me. I could then decide whether to "watch on" oder turn my attention to something else. Thank you so much!
Another tip I learned when dealing with automatic negative thoughts (ANT's), not only question whether it is helpful, but question whether you would say the things you say to yourself to a loved one.
The ancient Stoics really pound on this topic. Marcus Aurelius especially would write to himself as a reminder that he takes the shape of the quality of his thoughts. So, it's important to examine your thoughts constantly to see which ones are dragging you down and discard them. It's not easy and takes time but the point is that you're worth the effort and work and time. Demand better for yourself. Your mind takes the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, wouldn't you want those thoughts to be of good things? Positive things? Happy things? You are worthy of such things.
This was so perfectly written that i went back, looking for quotation marks. If u originated this, u have a way with words and a profound understanding of this process. You def got the message across.
“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
Yea this guy talked about nothing. What works is listening to your intuition, having the courage to make a change, the confidence to see it through to the end and faith in yourself that you will make the best effort.
I used something similar to this to quit drinking alcohol. What I would do is try to find the motivation behind my thoughts, what were they trying to get me to do. I realized most of the chatter in my head was wrapped around planning to drink. Once I was able to separate the chatter that dealt with my alcoholism, I was able to dismiss those thoughts as my addiction and then think about something else. This was not easy and only one part of dealing with addiction. I hope this can help someone else, and forgive yourself and others you blame.
I have these same feelings, but about food. The psychiatrist I used to see for my antidepressants always asked if I used any illegal drugs. And I would always say, “Food is my drug, obviously,” and wave my hand over my body, and laugh. And he never laughed. And I have thought about that a lot. I’m always thinking about what good food I can have next, and it’s what motivates me to get out of bed in the morning, or leave the house to run errands, etc. And I think that’s actually a problem.
@@stephanieleon5970 I was in the men's room at a gym and had a similar conversation with a big guy about how his food addiction. He said it made it easier for him to understand alcoholism. When he talked about food similar to the way you do and the way I talked about alcohol, I understood him. I believe you too. Maybe make a conscious effort to start thinking and then doing things that don't involve food. I also believe sugar is a drug it is addictive. So if you can cut one thing out, cut out added sugars. I had to keep my days full when I was quiting alcohol, it helped keep me from thinking about getting a drink.
@@anothermike4825 - Thank you. Currently having to work two jobs to make ends meet and one of them is grocery shopping for other people, which keeps me too busy to think about eating anything, myself. When I am done and headed home, I always try to remind myself I have food at home, just like these people making these healthy decisions for grocery items, lol. I am also finding a lot of cool healthier items at stores I have never shopped at, like Sprouts. So I think it’s helping.
I suffer with depression, anxiety and OCD. The biggest tool ive tried to develop is mindfulness. Asking yourself if your thoughts are useful is a simple and clever technique, I will add this to my tool belt
Hi finlay, i have gone through thrugh ocd, anxiety and depression for years and have found that practicing Gratitude has helped me overcome them a lot recently like magic, wish u all d best and with these remember, to be happy in the now see how u can practice gratitude truthfully for whatever u feel and then ask these questions, a happy mind is more capable of responding positively
I watched this video almost a year ago today and when I saw it pop up in my suggested today I got very happy! I have a post it note on my wall that says. " Keep thoughts positive. Are they Useful? How do they behave? Negative thoughts are someone else NOT ME" Since about a year ago my wife and I have been all over the mental health and growth journey but I find myself happier than ever and the negative thoughts don't control me anymore. You may not ever fully get rid of them but you learn to live with them and eventually they don't hold so much weight. Keep going. You're on the right track.
I have a variation of the exercise that can help smoothen the process. Include an opening question and a closing question: 1) What will my next thought be? [This switches you to looking inwards] 2) Is it useful? 3) How does it behave? 4) Should I pause thinking? [This directly silences your thoughts]
My mom used to say “ look down at your troubles ,not up at them. This way you place yourself above them being able to see yourself on top of them instead of feeling overwhelmed by them by being under them. Another way is “ facts don’t care about your feelings. It’s true whatever you focus on , you become more of that . Routine perhaps is what gives our thoughts boundaries. It’s why so many busy bus8ness people become depressed when they retire.
Unfortunately people who convince themselves that they are more than enough inevitably stop trying to be more than they are and society suffers. We have enough narcissists in society.
It’s so interesting to me that I watched this video, found it very useful and was looking forward to putting this strategy into practice…and then not 5 minutes later, a person in my life appeared and viciously insulted and belittled me out of the blue, as he has done many times before. I was devastated, but after finally calming down, I realized it was the universe telling me I will never truly know peace until I am out of this situation in which I am constantly subjected to verbal abuse. No amount of self-help and positive self-talk will ever make up for being in an ongoing abusive situation.
The negative thoughts are coming from outside your head!! It's so hard how our own thoughta change when someone treats us badly. I hope you are in a better situation, now.
I feel for you Anthony. The stress you've been through still shows in your eyes. Reminds me of a good friend of mine. So thoughtful and sensitive, but so tortured.
Amazing. It's so hard to escape the algorithm and that's not me being negative of social media because it has soo many positives. It's just refreshing to feel human again.
When almost all of self help and motivation experts are all about telling us how flawed we are and we have to be sucked in their network to get better, this is one of the most self empowering talk I have ever heard. Thank you.
Those who keep saying, skip the video and get to the point by watching the end of it. Well, I'm afraid I have to disagree. The point is not about hearing two words or two phrases or any random quote. We, humans, tend to understand things a lot better when we relate them to the context where events take place. It helps us click with their stories, know what they have been through and the lessons they have learned, which in turn invite us to embody these valuable insights instead of just keeping them stored in our heads.
I'm having trouble understanding you after- "when we relate them to the context..." . If you broke that second part into three or four sentences, it may become clearer. I agree that there's no need to skip the beginning of this Ted talk. It's valuable to know who is giving the talk and how they made their way there. Thanks.
@@uwlimesub6945 thanks for pointing that out, I had the same impression but I just didn't take time to rephrase that part, but now I did, hopefully you get the message.
This sounds similar to Byron Katie’s method of inquiry that she calls, “The Work” to invalidate negative thinking. You isolate the particular thought by repeating the original negative through and then asking, “Is it true?”, “Can I absolutely know its true”, “How do I react or what happens when I believe the thought?,” and “Who would you be without that thought?”. Then you turn around the thought to possibly understand if your thought is a projection of something else. This stuff is not second nature to me, so this type of advice is always a good refresher when I’m on a downward spiral.
I came to an awareness a few months ago that I very likely have adhd & rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria). It's been worse lately, I think because of getting older, but I'm not able to get help yet, so I've been looking for any kind of advice that could help until I can actually see someone. This video & your comment (and lots of others too) are immensely helpful! Thank you 🌞👍💖
Byron Katie's work is transformative. The turn around is so powerful! And Byron is wonderful. Her method is simple so anyone can benefit from it. She meets people where they are. But if anyone wants hardcore stuff, listen to her audiobook "A Thousand Words For Joy". Have a great day!
Busted out laughing at "of course I still have thoughts, I got myself here today" I am so happy you've had this experience, beautiful story. Great speech!
If he is talking about internet trolls, they are not keyboard warriors. Warriors have courage. It doesn’t take courage to spew negativity at people with no accountability. “Energy doesn’t die, it just changes form”, was a great reminder. 👍
With practice, one can simply cease thinking, or move attention to something else. I've used this countless times when awake in the middle of the night to get back to sleep, even when having an anxiety episode. It's your brain- you control what you think.
Much easier said than done. I trained myself to do this by accident; probably as survival mechanism growing up, but i've given this advice to others and most of them are extremely skeptical about their own ability to just "not think", or "stop thinking", or even to have much control over their own thinking at all. Smart, wise, good friends have responded to my "it is possible to just not think" by which i basically meant to say that they could "control their stressful over-thinking to such an extent that it would be helpful to them".
This is the key to success. This is the key to a psychic revolution in humanity. This would heal the world... if everyone could adopt this way of thinking.
My short story: whenever I feel bad thoughts are coming, I think "this won't make me happy nor make me any favor", and after a lot of training, I change to better thoughts, namely holidays, arts and crafts, or I watch videos of pets. And when I start thinking about work on my free time, I think "I'm not being paid, so I better stop now"😂 this works too.
i donr know who is right..i fugured it said deckhands..but the L got jealous and murdered the h and slipped into his place. His neighbors K and M were shocked to hesr of the crime. He seemed like a nice guy. Maybe he lost his mind. I believe letters can and do make up lies as well as truth. To murder a letter..you conclude that perhaps L just had no consenence. Didnt bother him one bit. Excuse me please i used too much prepositon h and i think its causing a vowell bstructn
46 years of mental suffering gone after watching this video just by asking are my thoughts useful and how do they behave , I can't thank this man enough 🙌❤️
This is a smart person. You can tell he has a lot of things to say about the world but doesn’t engage in the conversation. As you can see he asks questions instead. Thank you for the powerful video.
Great talk. I learned about analyzing my negative thoughts through my Buddhist practice. These two questions allow the sane part of your psyche to gently challenge the out of control parts and bring order to your mind. I'd like to add that antidepressant and antianxiety medications do not muddle your thoughts if taken correctly (i.e. as prescribed and NEVER with alcohol). Many people find them very helpful because they can reduce symptoms enough to allow them to start using psychological tools such as the one in this video.
Don't take anti depressants and anti anxiety medication unless you are suicidal. These are very destructive and addictive. There are so many natural methods to control this imbalance in brain chemicals and in the mental behaviour that creates that state. I was on everything under the sun and cured myself through Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine, diet, exercise and meditation. The doctors will prescribe you opioids for pain, (destructive and addictive) plenty of natural anti inflammatory and pain relieving plants out there. The doctors tried to make me take ten days worth of antibiotics for an infectious cyst. Antibiotics should only be taken in the most dire circumstances, they destroy your natural microbiome and mitochondria, this can take over four years to redevelop in which time you can get degenerative problems. I cured this in no less than a week using natural antibiotics and oils to draw out. Sorry for the rant I'm just very against SSRI's, benzodiazapines, opioids and other over prescribed medications from a very outdated practice that GPS use. I have lost alot of friend due to the fact doctors don't ask the correct questions about how you live, eat and think. People who are on anti depressants are more likely to take their own lives and I've seen this too much. Wean yourself off and substitute with adapagenic herbs and plants, exercise and meditate. I wish you good health and success.
I want to read a good introductory book about Buddhism with my 16 year old daughter. Do you have any recommendations? I have raised my kids with no spirituality and realize now that it was a mistake. Self empowerment in the absence of “woo woo” seems impossible.
@@patientzero5685 Try different (controlled) breathing techniques like: 4seconds inhale 7sec hold 8sec exhale, Another one but careful about this one it can knock you out if forced too much start for : 3sec inhale 2sec hold 3sec exhale rigorous breathing for 2 minutes and then hold breathe 20 sec NOTE: if you are uncomfortable in the mid stop it but slowly ,not to forget sit in a comfortable position so that even if you fall ,you don't get hurt i mastered 2nd technique over a period of week, you can take more but DON'T FORCE YOURSELF , WIM HOFF breathing technique is similar Read some indian meditation techniques Like staring at a far object for prolonged time with normal blinking but in a comfortable position Best one try meditation before going to bed either you'll sleep or get a great mindfull session Simplest Meditation: We have taste ,touch,smell, vision,hearing sense Close most of them except one like if you see ,block ear with monotonous repeating music , don't eat ,for touch stay away from living beings while meditating stuff like that Self hypnosis,if mastered you can have great focus : the thing we experience sometimes while driving on a boring journey sometimes we forget how quick we reached destination and may not remember details of scenery along the way after completing drive To try this lie down on a flat floor facing upwards everything relaxed, roll your eyes upwards such that you can't or barely see anything close eyes in that state Google REM CIRCADIAN SLEEP CYCLE for more info, REM has lot to do with self hypnosis Ask any specific questions would love to answer if i know something about that Lastly google all of this stuff get a concrete knowledge about it and don't hurt yourself by forcing yourself too much, take it slow You might not observe results in first attempts but atleast you'll be safe You don't need no guru ,yoga teacher just google all stuff if you have doubts/ curious about English is my second language pardon for mistakes😊
@@hyun5269 thank you very much. It was incredibly kind of you to write this all out for a stranger. I will try your techniques. It is funny that you mention looking at a far off object and focusing on it. As a young child when trying to fall asleep I would close my eyes and imagine some thing very far off in the horizon and I would focus just on the object until patterns of colors would appear in the darkness and soon those patterns would turn to objects that were familiar and random. I found out in college that this was called Hypnagogia. Using this method has helped me fall asleep my entire life. Again, thank you for your information.
@@patientzero5685 There are three prominent teachers of Buddhism in the West today, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Pema Chödrön. There are many other great teachers out there, but these are the most popular and ones I can personally vouch for. A great book to start with is Thich Nhat Hanh's Peace is Every Step. It is a collection of short essays about informal Buddhist practices like daily meditation, mindfulness and dealing with feelings. Reading is great, but for Buddhism to really change your life you have to practice it and make it a part of your day to day, minute to minute life. When practices like meditation and mindfulness become a daily habit, they can help you heal emotionally and become more grounded in the present. Another great help is to become part of a Buddhist group. I have been a member of several over the years, and the only one I would advise against is Nichren Shōshū (its lay organization is called the Soka Gakkai). I don't wish to be too negative about them -- I met some nice people while I was attending their meetings and never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to. However,they don't teach meditation or mindfulness which I feel are the heart of the Buddha's teachings. They also put the teachings of their founder, the thirteenth century Japanese monk Nichren Daishonin, above the teachings of the historical Buddha and even claim he is the Buddha of the present age. This belief has let them to consider their school of Buddhism to be "True Buddhism" and all other schools to be outdated. One of the things I really like about Buddhism is that the different schools don't compete and in fact are happy to learn from one another. Check with your local Unitarian Universalist Fellowship -- they may well have a Buddhist group or at least know of one -- and they are pretty trustworthy. You and your daughter are starting on a great adventure. Good luck!
Normally I am happy that someone saved me time by posting the content aimed by the clickbait. But this man is soulful and his thoughts and expressions and intensions earnest. It is a joy to watch the full talk. The people who came up with the clickbait title that sort of ruined the whole talk for a lot of people should be ashamed. I hope more people can watch the whole talk and be present while doing so. FWIW many have posted the questions here. If you just know the questions without knowing how he came upon them, it is probably only 1% as useful.
While I agree that the "Clickbait" is a shortcut, and misses the soul of his talk, I would urge you to reconsider the statement "should be ashamed". I appreciated the summary, but still listened to the whole talk, and recall the speaker saying that we can't change people. If we can't change others, (but only ourselves) then trying to shame others is pointless. You may choose to see those comments as "unhelpful", but if you really want the writer to be ashamed, perhaps you need to reconsider the overall message of the video. I point this out, because in managing anxiety it is so important that we .
"Are these thoughts useful? How do they behave?" Imagine your thoughts as strangers that approach you from nowhere, trying to influence you and your behaviour. One guy, who's pissed off, approach you and say "You're going to fail". How do you interpret these words? How does this man behave? Are they useful words? Or just nonsense? - This man behaves in a rude way, he is negative, not very useful, why did he say that? I have no clue, so I guess there's no value in it as he doesn't know me at all. The same goes with your negative thoughts, as you can't predict the future, you can't listen to a thought that says "you can't do this".
@@pawewrona3682 Is it useful, how does it behave? You can't change something that happened in the past. You can improve or learn from it, but you can't change it. If we stick to the "failing". When it's out of your control, it is not useful, as you can't control it.
Excellent analogy, very helpful. Also consider "Old Aunt Emma", that cranky, old, negative, aunt, sitting next to you, always commenting negatively about you or what you are thinking. Put her "down the hall" in her own room.. Send her away, remove her influence from your present thought process.
so true . Unhappiness comes from the gap between reality and your expectations, period . When you expect reality from a place of neutrality ! your back home, a happy part of the universe !!! love you all , specially the f'ed up ones ! start with me , I love you, if you love you thats 2 ... if your on this page you have the recipe for your calling in your life. his technique plus reality casually leads right to it . blessings sent all who read this
I have listened to Anthony’s talk twice now and have been very moved by his journey. He has arrived at a very liberated space. I am very grateful that he shared how he did so and am already finding a lot of value in the use of these two questions in response to my own thinking these last few days since I listened to him the first time. I highly recommend listening to Anthony’s story if you are at all attached to programmed thoughts that have kept you prisoner in unhelpful or negative reactions to life events and to people who don’t behave according to your programmed ideas about how they should behave. That space is a horrible prison of our own making. I have been stuck in such a prison for too long.
@Blue Traveller thank you, for your observation. I do appreciate your comment. I have been going through the motions of seeking help and clearly not getting far. I can see I need to look at the process afresh and start heading in a new direction.
Another good one I heard from Eckhart Tolle that I use that helps pull me out of a thought spiral and into the role of observer: "I wonder what my next thought will be."
The two questions make us pause to question our thoughts. This, in fact is, the First Habit "Be Proactive" that Steven Covey talks about in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. First we pause, give ourselves time, take responsibility for what we do next (Habit 1) question the thoughts in our mind for usefulness, put the more important ahead of the less important (Habit 2: Put First Things First) and choose the thoughts that are useful (Habit 3: Begin with the end in mind)
underrated. I had to find this again to send to a friend - I've employed this little mantra since the day I watched this, and oh how incisive it is. Works every time to foster insight and quietude. I wish everyone could know this beautiful little gateway to a more mindful life.
For who ever wants to truly experience the peace and no thought realm, Read the power of now, it literally has the power to plug you off that noisy world
I'm going through a terrifying time in my life right now. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had and my thoughts are the loudest and cruelest they've ever been. I've dealt with anxiety and depression for years. It feels like those negative thoughts think they're the "big man" and in control. But I don't want to give up and I'm trying to fight and take back control. But it's so scary being at odds with your own mind. I am so grateful to have found this video. Reading all these comments proves to me that I'm not alone in this fight and I CAN overpower it. I send out love and hope that we can all overcome this 💗💗💗💗🙏
For Christians it’s also a great technique to take every thought captive. Observe it and ask yourself these questions in relation to Gods truths. I started looking at how my thoughts behave and saw the triggering thoughts to panic attacks and anxiety. 2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. “
After cutting myself multiple times before realizing what I was doing to myself then getting so scared and breaking down even more cause of fear, I'm glad I came across this. God is good all the time
This is what I'm getting from reading and mediating on the bible. Stillness from the rattling of unnecessary brain clatter. Knowing more peace and calm then I believed possible
Wow and thank you. I have been dulling it down for a while now, but it was still about at 50% level that I was aware of. Two, three hours ago, I watched this. I copied the questions, and used them a few times. The rewiring that took place was measurable. I suddenly had very clear, very present thoughts. Making plans, using my mind to order to do lists. A solution to a personal issue came to me. I'm not hollering, "I'm cured. Miracle!" LOL - but for me, I felt a significant change within two hours of hearing about & middling use of this technique. Now I want to go research the Sanskrit version. Thank you, again.
I refer to that part of my thought process as “the storyteller “. It’s a part of me and I’ve learned to “communicate” with it in order to have a quieter mind with positive thoughts.
@@MusicGirl114 60,000m thoughts a day. Practicals are needed to reduce negative thoughts. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a better life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor. Read about the positive effects of breathing on the brain on google search.
DG, 60,000m thoughts a day. Practicals are needed to reduce negative thoughts. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a better life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor. Read about the positive effects of breathing on the brain on google search.
Excerpt from a book: 'Nurturing the Soul' written by B. K. Mohini from Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University. Raja Yoga Meditation teaches that we have 4 types of thoughts: 1. Functional or necessary thoughts 2. Wasteful thoughts 3. Negative thoughts 4. Positive thoughts We don't need to silence the mind but decrease the quantity and increase the quality of our thoughts.
@@kafkapie There is a time for day dreams best not while clearing your mind. But then again reciting those two questions as a mantra may be the perfect daydream. Ive never had success with meditation,. This seems to be worth a try.
The closer to the Devine, the purer the mantra. This mantra is pure and simple. Bless you. Sweet Mercy, indeed. Peace and deep calm joy love follow. A new wave flows like turning into the ether and becoming part of the universal flow.
@Dalton Speaks there is no such thing as emptiness. We can not empty our mind. We can not experience nothingness for one requires a presence to experience it. The commenter above is correct and so is the speaker. Just different word use, same definition. Much love
A beautiful Ted Talk. Have listened to it every morning for the past few days and will continue to ... so much to learn from it. Anthony Metivier's voice is so easy to listen to. Thanks.
In Denmark some of us practice “Utiseta” (sitting out) in nature at night. Great way to clean out thoughts, with the help of “friends” out there (and “in” there).
John Hudert - Best 13mins invested in listening to the context behind the benefit of why these 2 Qs are worth remembering/utilising. Very worthwhile listening - no waste of time. Even you had to listen to the 13mins before you decided that it was a waste of your time... and then to requote what the 13mins had taught you.
Thank you Anthony, for pointing to the inner beauty of Sanskrit. It is an often overlooked truth that Sanskrit has a rather unique structure. Hard to find the words to describe it, but let me give it a try. Having followed Anthony for a while I'll try a paradigm from cinema arts, which is one of his areas of expertise. The waking state of consciousness is like watching a movie. Very engrossing, and our inner silence is overshadowed as the images on the screen become our "reality". If on the other hand we are cognizant of the mechanics of how the film is scripted, shot, edited and projected then we automatically become aware of a much deeper "bigger picture" experience as we watch the films story unfold. We become aware of the simple, pure, white screen. Sanskrit is a language that illumines our waking consciousness because it is awake to all of those levels of experience. By that I mean every expression contains coherent meanings on all levels of the mind simultaneously. It can describe the very specific localized realities of the physical material world. However in the same expression the words hold alternative, more subtle meanings and the grammar allows the same flow of words to illuminate the underlying reality that the experience can be seen as pure consciousness moving within itself. This magical exposure of the underlying reality is accomplished because Sanskrit belongs originally to a culture where deep inner silence was wide awake inside the population. In our modern chaotic societies Sanskrit, when properly employed can provide a roadmap back to that experience. So our thoughts are understood to be changing displays of lights on a pure white screen or perhaps like the many waves dancing on the vast unchanging wholeness of the ocean. Once the wave can see itself as the unbounded ocean in a temporarily localized bounded state, its behavior is seem for what it is, a show, a story teller trying to capture our attention with endless, comedies and tragedies.
This information has changed my life, with practice the negative thoughts will just come and go and my mind clutter is clearing everyday, i owe my gratitude to this man and Ted x thank you!
It's a nice reminder of how to occupy your busy mind with something mechanical and have a useful filter in your life. Thank you - this reminder came with excellent timing.
🕊️Also very helpful, esp at bedtime when thoughts race..I start to Pray... at first I had to remind self often , thoughts came..told self loud in head Pray... that's been most helpful of All I tried thru the years. Best to All 🕊️🙏✨✨
' ... we've got to be able to get past this... we can't afford to NOT SEE and NOT EXTRACT THE VALUE from the things we DON'T LIKE, because we are so STUCK on the Things WE DO LIKE..." Brilliant advise Sir. Thank you !
Thinking is overrated. All my thoughts are imagination. I think of them that much it happens. I was once a headteacher for 3 years. Never had a job as a teacher in a school. But because I said I’m going to be a headteacher and imagined it. 16 months later I got head hunted for the job. Love my mind ❤️
Self-enquiry or "Atma Vicara" Just ask the question. Who am I? And stay with the I. You will enter a relm or substratum of unmanifested I. The true I. OR I-I. It's surreal and incredible.
When he asks "How do my thoughts behave", I THINK he is referring to what action or behavior do we exhibit from these thoughts (typically). Before you were made aware of whether the thought was useful or not useful, you most likely performed the same physical action that you always have. So, he's merely asking you to be aware of HOW your thoughts guide your life. 1) Is it useful? Once you determine that, you can ask yourself, how does my thoughts behave? Do they make me anxious in a good way because there is a REAL threat or am I overthinking for nothing and I'm about to go binge-eat to cope with this thought....? Does that make sense?
I appreciate your understanding and wanted to add my own experience. I’ve been a on/off meditator for years but have found that when I do meditate consistently, it is a powerful opportunity to observe your own thought patterns. As an example, I remember a time when I was meditating and getting caught up in thinking about how I could be a better educator, start my own private school, and at the pinnacle of that flight, I realized what my mind was doing. It was trying to keep me interested in interacting with it. That is the behavior.
Lauren Rivera it’s too late by the time you ask yourself that. My assistant told a patient that she tries to stop smoking but ddoesmt nelieve she can. I said that’s the resson right there. You say on outset you don’t believe you can so you never will as long as you say that to yourself. Tell yourself you can and pick a date 3 months from now but at least ten times a day say out loud I willl stop
'Are they helpful? Are they kind? Are they necessary?'' - loose paraphrase of Sri Sathya Sai Kindness requires a bit of judgment and that can be tricky terrain since most of us consistently know the difference betwween judgment and discernment. That said, this is what his message reminds me of and I appreciate his sharing his journey to the destination. Fun 'miss'take in hearing that someone else may appreciate. I have hearing and audio processing challenges so I backed up several times trying to hear what his second qustion was. Ulimately, I found and put on CC and enjoyed discovering that the translator picked up that instance of BEHAVIOR as PAY. I love that as a metaphysical near-equivalent. Being one easily mistaken for a WOO-person, I don't believe in coincidence. I hope you experienced a lovely pay-off from this video like I did.
Joy is not taught in a way that truly explains how valuable it is Joy the least studied and talked about feeling. A very important difference needs to be reintroduced to many While day to day happiness is subject to interference from outside sources, joy belongs to you 24/7 - 365 366 on leap years Count blessings often. Reading this is a blessing in and of itself! No?
This is absolutely the most helpful way that you have demonstrated how we can all tame our mind. It really works with these two neutralizing questions!!! This is the answer to how we can live peacefully in this world. Thank you for this most practical and user friendly sharing. Bless you for all your years of effort to give us this most precious gift!!!!!! So excellent the way you presented this as well!!!!!
Truth & Justice will always prevail. Meantime, make sure you act wisely. Karma is a boomerang. It magnifies and returns more than what was initially launched back to the sender.
I did this the simple way. I used a technique which goes like this. I said to myself one day, are my thoughts serving me? Why do I have so much negative noise in my mind? Most of my thoughts are negative and each negative thought I have, takes me to a negative place. I wanted silence. So I said to myself each time I start yo gave a negative thought, a paranoid thought, a thought where I was judging someone else or myself, I would stop and ask myself does this thought serve me and serve others! And these thoughts came at me a hundred times a day, I was on a loop of negative thoughts all day everyday day. Each time I recognised those thoughts that didn’t serve me, in my mind I would envisage the thought as a speech cloud or bubble, I would then take that thought, turn it to paper and screw it up and then I would see myself at a bridge and I would throw that negative thought on paper into the river below and watch it float away, again and again and again and again, dozens of times a day I Would repeat this practice, either was determined and didn’t give up, everyday for about two weeks I did this, by the two week mark, the thoughts became less and less, and then it didn’t become a conscious thought anymore, the thoughts just stopped coming. Now my mind instantly discards them. I’m not saying it’s silent all of the time, yes I think it I may get sad or I may feel sorry for myself or I may get angry but, 90 percent of my day, my mind is clear, it’s a normal thing now to have no thoughts, no chatter chatter chatter. Eating away at me reinforcing to negative self doubts or negative put me downs or negative thoughts about others. It frees my mind to look for things I am great full for. It honestly took two weeks and it changed my life. I have room now to concentrate and to embrace the now around me. It’s possible ! If I can do it anyone can. ❤
I am so grateful I came across this. I went in for what was supposed to be a quick doctor's appointment (and which was completely covered by my insurance) two weeks ago and was told I was going to possibly need very invasive surgery but first would need a series of invasive, very uncomfortable, and sometimes painful tests all of which are going to cost me thousands of dollars. I'm 34 and very healthy so this has been very overwhelming and upsetting (to put it lightly). I'm excited to try this out 🙏
I’m so sorry! I went through a very painful surgery in my early 30’s. It was very traumatic. I know how you feel! Praying for you to get through this. 🙏🏼
Have been practicing "no thoughts" since I was a teenager. Appreciated Eckhart Tollle's advice to be the one listening to my thoughts rather than thinking I am my thoughts. I have found a level of contentment by reducing inner monologues, especially recurring negative memories. Sadly I had no mentors to teach logical thinking to plan my actions effectively. While focused on spiritual pursuits I should have balanced it with the benefits of managing money. Positive thinking I learned is a delusion that doesn't manifest in our material world, but a lot of people made fortunes selling the false idea that is actually synchronicity. Dropping the voice in my head does reduce stress, but it's not enlightenment. Using meditation to have a set time for going deeper into our conciousness is appropriate and the rest of our day use thoughts as the tool they are. Ha! Wish I was good at this idea...
Sounds like common sense.A little of this, a little of that plus a little luck and you( we) MIGHT just get some measure of peace...But if there was a cast iron method for everyone then surely,the world would have found it by now
I'm astounded to realise how many of my thoughts are so far from useful!! I mostly laugh or shudder at the first question and rarely even feel the need to question their behaviour 🤣🙏💜
I am not 100% sure I understand. When I am spiraling, I know it. I’m aware that the thoughts I’m thinking are the depression or anxiety talking. I’m aware that I shouldn’t worry or fixate on situations that I can’t control. But that doesn’t give me silence, there are still just as many thoughts, I just know that I need to sort through which ones are really me and I can keep hold of and which ones are just my depression and anxiety. It’s helpful for sure and this practice has absolutely changed my life as I can stop myself from spiraling so often. But the thoughts don’t stop and it take a lot of mental and emotional energy to sort through all of them. So my negative thoughts: are they useful? (no) How do they behave? (They are negative and do me no good) But that doesn’t exactly stop the fixation or spiraling. It just helps to keep yourself rational.
I agree to this. Especially how the questions are answered mentally. Something that has helped me in actually calming down the negative thoughts is writing out the thoughts that I hear. Literally all of them at the moment of spiraling. It seems like your thoughts just want to be heard and need a way to get us to listen and resolve the issues. I'm also using Mindspace (on RUclips and Netflix) which helps to calm my mind and listen to myself when not in that negative space. It's been extremely helpful. An example of writing all thoughts to find the source of the negativity: I'm angry, I hate you (me), I'm sad, why me, I don't want to hurt, I'm hungry, I'm suffering, what if I just ate?, I don't hate me [continue writing until you feel better or when you find the thing that started the negativity. In the example I gave, what started the negative thought was being hungry and not eating. Once you eat, the spiraling will subside]
Thank you for this comment. I too didn't understand the point of his presentation. After reading your comment though I think he was talking about negativity spirals and panic attacks (which are themselves a thought feedback loop). In both of those cases I've found ways to think and reason about them. For me it isn't about quieting / silencing / suppressing thoughts; it's about dispassionately examining the underlying causes of the thoughts in a way that disarms them. From your comment it sounds like you do something similar.
I think there's a difference between noticing the thoughts and getting caught up in them. There's no way to stop the flow of thoughts but one can reduce the automatic habit of dwelling on them. It's like the difference between paying attention to a TV show and just leaving the TV on as background noise without paying any attention to it. If it doesn't capture our attention it doesn't impact us at that moment.
I learned from the book, ' Battlefield of the Mind' to think about what you are thinking about. It took practice but it works. Patterns to neutralize patterns. For me, bible scriptures neutralized the negative thoughts. Thank God I no longer have the constant negative tape playing over and over in my mind all day. Ty for this revealing Ted Talk 😃
The Bible actually holds nothing but good promisses for believers, that's why it comforts many. Now since it also contains history and things that happened also include terrible mistakes, not everything makes a happy story. But actually selecting the parts with the promises instead of punishment/mistakes is not picking, but rather knowing your way around a work of 66 books over more than a 1000 years. Starting with the New Testament and especially Jesus' words offers lots of hope.
The questions to neutralize negative thinking by the internal voice are finally stated at 13:10 min:sec. "Are my thoughts useful?" "How do they behave?" The talk before that point is not informative. I am reminded of Aristotle's criteria for speaking but applied to the internal dialogue: "It it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?"
Negative thoughts like a storm in my head criticizing me. But when I say my mantra "when I don't care anymore I am free" and I imagine this rain of mud pouring down from my head to toes and I just let it be.. Then I start to feel better afterwards.. I don't know if it work for everyone but it works for me...
When he says "How do my thoughts behave?" He means, when you have certain thoughts or when you are in a certain place where do your thoughts start to go towards, What direction? do you stay in that state of mind for a long time? Is it hard for you to get out of a negative state or sadness? That kind of thing.
Mine do tend to go towards the negative, though I call myself a relentless optimist. I do positive energy work for a living, make spell candles, and help people see that life isn't something that happens TO you, that they can choose to be whomever they want and have the things they want and need, but it's hard to take my own advice and look past the triviality of a sink full of dishes and an unfinished to do list while my toddler pulls books out of the bookshelf. "How do my thoughts behave?" That's something I need to think about; this whole talk was incredibly inspirational to me.
I interpreted it very differently. "is it useful" -----> yes/no "how does it behave" --------> how is it (particular thought or set of thoughts) useful/damaging, what is the effect? You asked ' Is it hard for you to get out of a negative state or sadness?' I think the point of these types of exercises is to get better at making that easier, not to notice and obsess over how hard it is or can be No disrespect intended
I have been in such a deep depression thinking about the past mistakes I have made. Are these thoughts useful? Not on your life! How do they behave? They make me feel horrible. I needed this so badly. Thinking of jumping off a bridge just keeps on ping pinging in my brain because I was told I was a f*ck up. I have cried for days over those two words. I need a hug!
Your advice has really helped me. It’s only been an day but I’m really feeling a lot better now I’m able to make that voice stop bothering me with your method
I asked Anthony Metivier via Twitter to elaborate on the second question "how does it behave" @AnthonyMetivier Thanks for asking about this. I'm going to create a video to elaborate a.s.a.p. For now, the point is to ask the question and see what answer comes up. It's a means of labeling thoughts so you can contextualize them, i.e. this is a needy thought that behaves from false scarcity
The general principle is to isolate the thoughts, and the questions are the scalpels. They produce daylight ( impair overidentifying with) between you and the thoughts. The “answer” to the questions are not the point but can be interesting especially if you allow yourself to entertain their changeable nature.
Very useful information. One more suggestion for overthinking. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing your life with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. You can sit or lay down on the bed--eyes closed--No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night anywhere -anytime-- before sleep, at work, taking a walk, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make breath observing a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
To all those watching this video for their mental health, in case no one tells you today, just know you’re not alone (a lot of us are here for the same reasons) and you’re doing an amazing job getting on top of your mental health. And you should be proud of yourself for doing so. I hope you have an amazing day, and know we’re all here with you :)
💖
Ditto
Thanks Michael
Made me start tearing up, thank you Michael.
❤
For those impatient like me, here’s the 2 questions:
Are these thoughts useful?
How do they behave?
Thank you. There’s no way I could have made it all the way through this.
@@doreenpoehling1167 I actually didn’t either- just lots of scrolling for content 😂
I appreciate you. This actually helps me pay attention enough to hear his delivery through. Thanks.
Third time listening, because I keep forgetting the two damn questions. THANK YOU!
@@micheleconley1581 😂🤣😂
save you 13 min
the 2 questions 13:04
"Are my thoughts useful? How do they behave?" Confront your thoughts and think for yourself
and never stop confronting your thoughts :-)
You’ve done us all a great service sir. 🙏🏻
Thanks
Lol
The Power of Now
Thanks!
For those of you who come to the comment section for support, just know we’re all rooting for you. You can’t see us but we’re all here cheering you and your mental health on. You got this, don’t give up
Aw such a cute comment. God bless you!
Cringe
@@DarkAsDeath rooting for you too @Dark
💗
❤
The first time i watch this i didn't understand it. I watch again and has changed my life.
I will watch it again then. Because even though the guy gives me the impression of having many interesting stories to tell, I don't see how asking those two questions would help me in any way. I will watch again.
The more attention you give something, the more power it gets. Same thing goes for fear and negative thoughts.
I seen a video recently that said you can silence your thoughts by saying in you mind, "I wonder what my next thought will be". It seems to work. All the Best.
I was taught to say, "I acknowledge the thought" and then let it go.
Thank you for this reminder
I love that he says “I don’t know, but I don’t think so”. Such an honest answer
Sanskrit is a perfect language. When pronounced, verbally or internally, properly or improperly, real change occurs. It is a true blessing to have this gift from above. Use it wisely. Learn all you can. Word is wand!
1. Have Daily Negative Thought Time
2. Replace the Negative Thoughts
3. Be Your Own Best Friend
4. Write Instead Of Think
5. Make A Conscious Effort To Find Things To Love, Like And Appreciate
6. Establish New Habits
7. Use Affirmations
8. Develop Your Success Routine
9. Channel Those
Thoughts Into Something Constructive
How can you be your own best friend or love yourself? It’s easy to say these things but not so easy to do.
@@bensquires2819 the only being capable of knowing you and loving you deeply, is your own self. You have to be gentle and compassionate to the source where your negativity comes from. Just wants to be heard, and loved with the love only you hold.
@@bensquires2819 //
WAYS TO BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND:
* BECOME IN TUNE WITH YOURSELF. Know yourself & needs.
* FOLLOW YOUR HEALTHY PREFERENCES (so don't eat a 7 pound steak). The Golden Mean: All Things in Moderation.
* What activities, personalities, environments, home decore, etc. agitate you; or, calm & please you ??
* VOTE with Selection, & your feet (change location). In general, do not impart your opinion on others. If so, do so diplomatically.
* Drink when you thirst.
* Eat a reasonable portion of healthy food when hungry. Cheat on your diet occasionally.
* Rest when you are tired.
Sleep or take a break as needed.
* Develop interests that appeal to you. Learn to share some of them for mutual enjoyment; &, not to better someone.
* Live within your means.
* Accept the situation OF YOURSELF. (What U r is God's gift to U. What U become is ur gift to God.)
* Try to accept & come to terms with the fact U (any of us) r not the most amazing person that ever lived.
* Seek the positive without strife or striving.
@@scoutmiller7734Thank you for sharing this.
Type Things On The Internet
This talk really changed my life. Strangely enough, esspecially the second question "how do they behave?" has worked for me. Images started to appear in my mind of how my thoughts did behave each time I asked myself that question: like raging gremlins, frustrated soldiers, prisoners, anxious bees or nagging neighbours. These pictures were very powerful, as they put me right in the viewer seat, and immediately distanced those thoughts from me. I could then decide whether to "watch on" oder turn my attention to something else. Thank you so much!
Very well said here
i like your visualization of your thoughts, im going to try that :)
Marion, WOW. What a GREAT comparison!! Thanks for your help. God Bless You.
Wow I'm trying this out right now thank you
Very helpful! Thank you!
Another tip I learned when dealing with automatic negative thoughts (ANT's), not only question whether it is helpful, but question whether you would say the things you say to yourself to a loved one.
The ancient Stoics really pound on this topic. Marcus Aurelius especially would write to himself as a reminder that he takes the shape of the quality of his thoughts. So, it's important to examine your thoughts constantly to see which ones are dragging you down and discard them. It's not easy and takes time but the point is that you're worth the effort and work and time. Demand better for yourself. Your mind takes the shape of what you frequently hold in thought, wouldn't you want those thoughts to be of good things? Positive things? Happy things? You are worthy of such things.
This was so perfectly written that i went back, looking for quotation marks. If u originated this, u have a way with words and a profound understanding of this process. You def got the message across.
There a million ways. His worked for him. Big deal.
@@edyrayfield1797 wow, negative thoughts much?
Meditations is one of the greatest books ever written.
Wow, I really needed this today. Thank you. ☺️🤗🥰
“Sow a thought and you reap an action; sow an act and you reap a habit; sow a habit and you reap a character; sow a character and you reap a destiny.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
I loved him as the Karate Kid!
If you plant ice your gonna harvest wind
Yea this guy talked about nothing. What works is listening to your intuition, having the courage to make a change, the confidence to see it through to the end and faith in yourself that you will make the best effort.
I wish it was that easy ...
Sow what?
I used something similar to this to quit drinking alcohol. What I would do is try to find the motivation behind my thoughts, what were they trying to get me to do. I realized most of the chatter in my head was wrapped around planning to drink. Once I was able to separate the chatter that dealt with my alcoholism, I was able to dismiss those thoughts as my addiction and then think about something else. This was not easy and only one part of dealing with addiction. I hope this can help someone else, and forgive yourself and others you blame.
I have these same feelings, but about food. The psychiatrist I used to see for my antidepressants always asked if I used any illegal drugs. And I would always say, “Food is my drug, obviously,” and wave my hand over my body, and laugh. And he never laughed.
And I have thought about that a lot. I’m always thinking about what good food I can have next, and it’s what motivates me to get out of bed in the morning, or leave the house to run errands, etc. And I think that’s actually a problem.
@@stephanieleon5970 I was in the men's room at a gym and had a similar conversation with a big guy about how his food addiction. He said it made it easier for him to understand alcoholism. When he talked about food similar to the way you do and the way I talked about alcohol, I understood him. I believe you too. Maybe make a conscious effort to start thinking and then doing things that don't involve food. I also believe sugar is a drug it is addictive. So if you can cut one thing out, cut out added sugars.
I had to keep my days full when I was quiting alcohol, it helped keep me from thinking about getting a drink.
@@anothermike4825 - Thank you. Currently having to work two jobs to make ends meet and one of them is grocery shopping for other people, which keeps me too busy to think about eating anything, myself. When I am done and headed home, I always try to remind myself I have food at home, just like these people making these healthy decisions for grocery items, lol. I am also finding a lot of cool healthier items at stores I have never shopped at, like Sprouts. So I think it’s helping.
@@stephanieleon5970 good luck and be kind to yourself.
Trying that now to stop my negative thoughts but they tend to stuck in my head.
I suffer with depression, anxiety and OCD. The biggest tool ive tried to develop is mindfulness. Asking yourself if your thoughts are useful is a simple and clever technique, I will add this to my tool belt
Hi finlay, i have gone through thrugh ocd, anxiety and depression for years and have found that practicing Gratitude has helped me overcome them a lot recently like magic, wish u all d best and with these remember, to be happy in the now see how u can practice gratitude truthfully for whatever u feel and then ask these questions, a happy mind is more capable of responding positively
@@ishanfepl thank you for your message. I wish you all the happiness.
Mindfulness is one of the most powerful tools we as people can cultivate. Best of luck on your journey
@@mal9369 thank you. I wish you all the happiness
Finlay, all the best with your healing journey. My thoughts are with you today.
I watched this video almost a year ago today and when I saw it pop up in my suggested today I got very happy! I have a post it note on my wall that says. " Keep thoughts positive. Are they Useful? How do they behave? Negative thoughts are someone else NOT ME" Since about a year ago my wife and I have been all over the mental health and growth journey but I find myself happier than ever and the negative thoughts don't control me anymore. You may not ever fully get rid of them but you learn to live with them and eventually they don't hold so much weight. Keep going. You're on the right track.
Negative thoughts eventually disappear, paint over them with happy thoughts :-)
Negative thoughts eventually disappear, paint over them with happy thoughts :-)
Negative thoughts eventually disappear, paint over them with happy thoughts :-)
Negative thoughts eventually disappear, paint over them with happy thoughts :-)
I have a variation of the exercise that can help smoothen the process. Include an opening question and a closing question:
1) What will my next thought be? [This switches you to looking inwards]
2) Is it useful?
3) How does it behave?
4) Should I pause thinking? [This directly silences your thoughts]
Nice One
And perhaps one more in the middle, "Did "I" cause this to be thought, or did it just appear.
@@friarjeff1602 That sounds to me like a thought generator not a thought silencer
Thanks Tony for the tip 🤗
You should be doing the Ted Talk lol
My mom used to say “ look down at your troubles ,not up at them. This way you place yourself above them being able to see yourself on top of them instead of feeling overwhelmed by them by being under them. Another way is “ facts don’t care about your feelings. It’s true whatever you focus on , you become more of that . Routine perhaps is what gives our thoughts boundaries. It’s why so many busy bus8ness people become depressed when they retire.
I love this!!! best tactic I've heard for awhile " look down at your problems" ❤❤❤
To all who read this: You are *more* than enough. 💖
No. I'm not
@@Tyson-u3myou are Kenough
Unfortunately people who convince themselves that they are more than enough inevitably stop trying to be more than they are and society suffers. We have enough narcissists in society.
@lmcedwards669 I like the sparkles of your heart ^-^
It’s so interesting to me that I watched this video, found it very useful and was looking forward to putting this strategy into practice…and then not 5 minutes later, a person in my life appeared and viciously insulted and belittled me out of the blue, as he has done many times before. I was devastated, but after finally calming down, I realized it was the universe telling me I will never truly know peace until I am out of this situation in which I am constantly subjected to verbal abuse. No amount of self-help and positive self-talk will ever make up for being in an ongoing abusive situation.
The negative thoughts are coming from outside your head!! It's so hard how our own thoughta change when someone treats us badly. I hope you are in a better situation, now.
I feel for you Anthony. The stress you've been through still shows in your eyes. Reminds me of a good friend of mine. So thoughtful and sensitive, but so tortured.
Amazing. It's so hard to escape the algorithm and that's not me being negative of social media because it has soo many positives. It's just refreshing to feel human again.
When almost all of self help and motivation experts are all about telling us how flawed we are and we have to be sucked in their network to get better, this is one of the most self empowering talk I have ever heard. Thank you.
I've worked with Anthony for years and all the things I learned from him are life changing! Very good talk!!! Real tedxtalk!
Who is this chap?..can he be contacted?
"We can extract value from the things we don't like." I like that!
There would not be spiritual growth without challenge.
@Janice Brown
I don't know much about art but l know what I like.😁
@keecefly
Chocolates can be risky, but we've learned to accept the risk.
I don't. :p
Totally!
Those who keep saying, skip the video and get to the point by watching the end of it. Well, I'm afraid I have to disagree. The point is not about hearing two words or two phrases or any random quote. We, humans, tend to understand things a lot better when we relate them to the context where events take place. It helps us click with their stories, know what they have been through and the lessons they have learned, which in turn invite us to embody these valuable insights instead of just keeping them stored in our heads.
Yep. We respond to stories. We are story oriented.
Exactly.
I'm having trouble understanding you after- "when we relate them to the context..." . If you broke that second part into three or four sentences, it may become clearer. I agree that there's no need to skip the beginning of this Ted talk. It's valuable to know who is giving the talk and how they made their way there. Thanks.
@@uwlimesub6945 thanks for pointing that out, I had the same impression but I just didn't take time to rephrase that part, but now I did, hopefully you get the message.
Rory Tennes storiented
This sounds similar to Byron Katie’s method of inquiry that she calls, “The Work” to invalidate negative thinking. You isolate the particular thought by repeating the original negative through and then asking, “Is it true?”, “Can I absolutely know its true”, “How do I react or what happens when I believe the thought?,” and “Who would you be without that thought?”. Then you turn around the thought to possibly understand if your thought is a projection of something else. This stuff is not second nature to me, so this type of advice is always a good refresher when I’m on a downward spiral.
I came to an awareness a few months ago that I very likely have adhd & rsd (rejection sensitive dysphoria). It's been worse lately, I think because of getting older, but I'm not able to get help yet, so I've been looking for any kind of advice that could help until I can actually see someone. This video & your comment (and lots of others too) are immensely helpful! Thank you 🌞👍💖
I also thought of Byron Katie. But I never liked the woman. And these questions here are a lot more viable and immediate for me.
@@editelh Yeah, I haven't checked out BK yet, but I love the simplicity of Metivier's method.
It would be nice if Byron Katie would acknowledge that she stole the whole idea from Albert Ellies. Her behaviour shows so much powermongering fraud.
Byron Katie's work is transformative. The turn around is so powerful! And Byron is wonderful. Her method is simple so anyone can benefit from it. She meets people where they are. But if anyone wants hardcore stuff, listen to her audiobook "A Thousand Words For Joy". Have a great day!
Busted out laughing at "of course I still have thoughts, I got myself here today" I am so happy you've had this experience, beautiful story. Great speech!
If he is talking about internet trolls, they are not keyboard warriors. Warriors have courage. It doesn’t take courage to spew negativity at people with no accountability. “Energy doesn’t die, it just changes form”, was a great reminder. 👍
Thoughts: Are they useful? How do they behave? Great lesson, thank you!
With practice, one can simply cease thinking, or move attention to something else. I've used this countless times when awake in the middle of the night to get back to sleep, even when having an anxiety episode. It's your brain- you control what you think.
Much easier said than done.
I trained myself to do this by accident; probably as survival mechanism growing up, but i've given this advice to others and most of them are extremely skeptical about their own ability to just "not think", or "stop thinking", or even to have much control over their own thinking at all. Smart, wise, good friends have responded to my "it is possible to just not think" by which i basically meant to say that they could "control their stressful over-thinking to such an extent that it would be helpful to them".
This is the key to success. This is the key to a psychic revolution in humanity. This would heal the world... if everyone could adopt this way of thinking.
My short story: whenever I feel bad thoughts are coming, I think "this won't make me happy nor make me any favor", and after a lot of training, I change to better thoughts, namely holidays, arts and crafts, or I watch videos of pets. And when I start thinking about work on my free time, I think "I'm not being paid, so I better stop now"😂 this works too.
The honesty and transparency are endearing. Memorizing the Spiritual ultimate truths in God’s Word is the most transforming ❤️🙏🐛✝️🦋🕊🎶
I love how he stands straight in front of the letter that totally can change the towns name.
The town full of ducks
Or Ducklands. Well spotted
😂😂😂😂
I was thinking the same thing! Ha
😂👍.
i donr know who is right..i fugured it said deckhands..but the L got jealous and murdered the h and slipped into his place. His neighbors K and M were shocked to hesr of the crime. He seemed like a nice guy. Maybe he lost his mind. I believe letters can and do make up lies as well as truth. To murder a letter..you conclude that perhaps L just had no consenence. Didnt bother him one bit. Excuse me please i used too much prepositon h and i think its causing a vowell bstructn
46 years of mental suffering gone after watching this video just by asking are my thoughts useful and how do they behave , I can't thank this man enough 🙌❤️
I can’t understand the ‘how do they behave part’.
This is a smart person. You can tell he has a lot of things to say about the world but doesn’t engage in the conversation. As you can see he asks questions instead. Thank you for the powerful video.
Question that could be addressed by anyone listening
Wut
I'm not sure what you mean by "doesn't engage in the conversation". He's lecturing a bunch of people, but I'm not sure that is such a good thing.
Great talk. I learned about analyzing my negative thoughts through my Buddhist practice. These two questions allow the sane part of your psyche to gently challenge the out of control parts and bring order to your mind. I'd like to add that antidepressant and antianxiety medications do not muddle your thoughts if taken correctly (i.e. as prescribed and NEVER with alcohol). Many people find them very helpful because they can reduce symptoms enough to allow them to start using psychological tools such as the one in this video.
Don't take anti depressants and anti anxiety medication unless you are suicidal. These are very destructive and addictive. There are so many natural methods to control this imbalance in brain chemicals and in the mental behaviour that creates that state. I was on everything under the sun and cured myself through Ayurvedic and Chinese medicine, diet, exercise and meditation.
The doctors will prescribe you opioids for pain, (destructive and addictive) plenty of natural anti inflammatory and pain relieving plants out there. The doctors tried to make me take ten days worth of antibiotics for an infectious cyst. Antibiotics should only be taken in the most dire circumstances, they destroy your natural microbiome and mitochondria, this can take over four years to redevelop in which time you can get degenerative problems. I cured this in no less than a week using natural antibiotics and oils to draw out. Sorry for the rant I'm just very against SSRI's, benzodiazapines, opioids and other over prescribed medications from a very outdated practice that GPS use.
I have lost alot of friend due to the fact doctors don't ask the correct questions about how you live, eat and think. People who are on anti depressants are more likely to take their own lives and I've seen this too much. Wean yourself off and substitute with adapagenic herbs and plants, exercise and meditate.
I wish you good health and success.
I want to read a good introductory book about Buddhism with my 16 year old daughter. Do you have any recommendations?
I have raised my kids with no spirituality and realize now that it was a mistake. Self empowerment in the absence of “woo woo” seems impossible.
@@patientzero5685 Try different (controlled) breathing techniques like: 4seconds inhale 7sec hold 8sec exhale,
Another one but careful about this one it can knock you out if forced too much start for : 3sec inhale 2sec hold 3sec exhale rigorous breathing for 2 minutes and then hold breathe 20 sec
NOTE: if you are uncomfortable in the mid stop it but slowly ,not to forget sit in a comfortable position so that even if you fall ,you don't get hurt i mastered 2nd technique over a period of week, you can take more but DON'T FORCE YOURSELF ,
WIM HOFF breathing technique is similar
Read some indian meditation techniques
Like staring at a far object for prolonged time with normal blinking but in a comfortable position
Best one try meditation before going to bed either you'll sleep or get a great mindfull session
Simplest Meditation: We have taste ,touch,smell, vision,hearing sense
Close most of them except one like if you see ,block ear with monotonous repeating music , don't eat ,for touch stay away from living beings while meditating stuff like that
Self hypnosis,if mastered you can have great focus : the thing we experience sometimes while driving on a boring journey sometimes we forget how quick we reached destination and may not remember details of scenery along the way after completing drive
To try this lie down on a flat floor facing upwards everything relaxed, roll your eyes upwards such that you can't or barely see anything close eyes in that state
Google REM CIRCADIAN SLEEP CYCLE for more info, REM has lot to do with self hypnosis
Ask any specific questions would love to answer if i know something about that
Lastly google all of this stuff get a concrete knowledge about it and don't hurt yourself by forcing yourself too much, take it slow
You might not observe results in first attempts but atleast you'll be safe
You don't need no guru ,yoga teacher just google all stuff if you have doubts/ curious about
English is my second language pardon for mistakes😊
@@hyun5269 thank you very much. It was incredibly kind of you to write this all out for a stranger. I will try your techniques.
It is funny that you mention looking at a far off object and focusing on it. As a young child when trying to fall asleep I would close my eyes and imagine some thing very far off in the horizon and I would focus just on the object until patterns of colors would appear in the darkness and soon those patterns would turn to objects that were familiar and random. I found out in college that this was called Hypnagogia. Using this method has helped me fall asleep my entire life.
Again, thank you for your information.
@@patientzero5685 There are three prominent teachers of Buddhism in the West today, the Dalai Lama, Thich Nhat Hanh, and Pema Chödrön. There are many other great teachers out there, but these are the most popular and ones I can personally vouch for. A great book to start with is Thich Nhat Hanh's Peace is Every Step. It is a collection of short essays about informal Buddhist practices like daily meditation, mindfulness and dealing with feelings.
Reading is great, but for Buddhism to really change your life you have to practice it and make it a part of your day to day, minute to minute life. When practices like meditation and mindfulness become a daily habit, they can help you heal emotionally and become more grounded in the present.
Another great help is to become part of a Buddhist group. I have been a member of several over the years, and the only one I would advise against is Nichren Shōshū (its lay organization is called the Soka Gakkai). I don't wish to be too negative about them -- I met some nice people while I was attending their meetings and never felt pressured to do anything I didn't want to. However,they don't teach meditation or mindfulness which I feel are the heart of the Buddha's teachings. They also put the teachings of their founder, the thirteenth century Japanese monk Nichren Daishonin, above the teachings of the historical Buddha and even claim he is the Buddha of the present age. This belief has let them to consider their school of Buddhism to be "True Buddhism" and all other schools to be outdated. One of the things I really like about Buddhism is that the different schools don't compete and in fact are happy to learn from one another. Check with your local Unitarian Universalist Fellowship -- they may well have a Buddhist group or at least know of one -- and they are pretty trustworthy. You and your daughter are starting on a great adventure. Good luck!
Normally I am happy that someone saved me time by posting the content aimed by the clickbait. But this man is soulful and his thoughts and expressions and intensions earnest. It is a joy to watch the full talk. The people who came up with the clickbait title that sort of ruined the whole talk for a lot of people should be ashamed. I hope more people can watch the whole talk and be present while doing so. FWIW many have posted the questions here. If you just know the questions without knowing how he came upon them, it is probably only 1% as useful.
While I agree that the "Clickbait" is a shortcut, and misses the soul of his talk, I would urge you to reconsider the statement "should be ashamed". I appreciated the summary, but still listened to the whole talk, and recall the speaker saying that we can't change people. If we can't change others, (but only ourselves) then trying to shame others is pointless. You may choose to see those comments as "unhelpful", but if you really want the writer to be ashamed, perhaps you need to reconsider the overall message of the video. I point this out, because in managing anxiety it is so important that we .
"Are these thoughts useful? How do they behave?"
Imagine your thoughts as strangers that approach you from nowhere, trying to influence you and your behaviour. One guy, who's pissed off, approach you and say "You're going to fail".
How do you interpret these words? How does this man behave? Are they useful words? Or just nonsense?
- This man behaves in a rude way, he is negative, not very useful, why did he say that? I have no clue, so I guess there's no value in it as he doesn't know me at all.
The same goes with your negative thoughts, as you can't predict the future, you can't listen to a thought that says "you can't do this".
I like that. Thanks! 👍🏽
Great breakdown
What about the thoughts that blame you for the past rather than deny the good future?
@@pawewrona3682 Is it useful, how does it behave? You can't change something that happened in the past. You can improve or learn from it, but you can't change it. If we stick to the "failing".
When it's out of your control, it is not useful, as you can't control it.
Excellent analogy, very helpful. Also consider "Old Aunt Emma", that cranky, old, negative, aunt, sitting next to you, always commenting negatively about you or what you are thinking. Put her "down the hall" in her own room.. Send her away, remove her influence from your present thought process.
“Blind and insane.” So true... Neutrality is at the crossroads of reality. Come from that space and all of our wonderful possibilities open up.
so true . Unhappiness comes from the gap between reality and your expectations, period . When you expect reality from a place of neutrality ! your back home, a happy part of the universe !!! love you all , specially the f'ed up ones ! start with me , I love you, if you love you thats 2 ... if your on this page you have the recipe for your calling in your life. his technique plus reality casually leads right to it . blessings sent all who read this
I have listened to Anthony’s talk twice now and have been very moved by his journey. He has arrived at a very liberated space. I am very grateful that he shared how he did so and am already finding a lot of value in the use of these two questions in response to my own thinking these last few days since I listened to him the first time. I highly recommend listening to Anthony’s story if you are at all attached to programmed thoughts that have kept you prisoner in unhelpful or negative reactions to life events and to people who don’t behave according to your programmed ideas about how they should behave. That space is a horrible prison of our own making. I have been stuck in such a prison for too long.
@Blue Traveller thank you, for your observation. I do appreciate your comment. I have been going through the motions of seeking help and clearly not getting far. I can see I need to look at the process afresh and start heading in a new direction.
@Blue Traveller better late than never!
@Blue Traveller Indeed indeed. Thank you.
Another good one I heard from Eckhart Tolle that I use that helps pull me out of a thought spiral and into the role of observer: "I wonder what my next thought will be."
The two questions make us pause to question our thoughts.
This, in fact is, the First Habit "Be Proactive" that Steven Covey talks about in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
First we pause, give ourselves time, take responsibility for what we do next (Habit 1) question the thoughts in our mind for usefulness, put the more important ahead of the less important (Habit 2: Put First Things First) and choose the thoughts that are useful (Habit 3: Begin with the end in mind)
underrated. I had to find this again to send to a friend - I've employed this little mantra since the day I watched this, and oh how incisive it is. Works every time to foster insight and quietude. I wish everyone could know this beautiful little gateway to a more mindful life.
For who ever wants to truly experience the peace and no thought realm, Read the power of now, it literally has the power to plug you off that noisy world
Observing one's thoughts is a useful thing to do. Allows one to throw out useless and outdated thoughts.
Far out! I’m using that to inspire my team during a timeout in a closely contested basketball game. Thank-you.
I'm going through a terrifying time in my life right now. I had the worst panic attack I've ever had and my thoughts are the loudest and cruelest they've ever been. I've dealt with anxiety and depression for years. It feels like those negative thoughts think they're the "big man" and in control. But I don't want to give up and I'm trying to fight and take back control. But it's so scary being at odds with your own mind. I am so grateful to have found this video. Reading all these comments proves to me that I'm not alone in this fight and I CAN overpower it. I send out love and hope that we can all overcome this 💗💗💗💗🙏
a few days to come you'll look back at this psot and you will be proud of yourself for overcomming. you gat this.
I hope it’s working out for you!
You can! I believe in you!
@@aweniajohn6571 I did just that today and I am better 😊
@@copper815 thank you, that means a lot ☺️
For Christians it’s also a great technique to take every thought captive. Observe it and ask yourself these questions in relation to Gods truths. I started looking at how my thoughts behave and saw the triggering thoughts to panic attacks and anxiety.
2 Corinthians 10:5 ESV
“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ. “
Thank you, Danielle. I'm heading for 2 Corinthians now.
After cutting myself multiple times before realizing what I was doing to myself then getting so scared and breaking down even more cause of fear, I'm glad I came across this. God is good all the time
I hope you’re doing well
@@mikekeyjr8708 Getting there. Thank you
This is what I'm getting from reading and mediating on the bible. Stillness from the rattling of unnecessary brain clatter. Knowing more peace and calm then I believed possible
Bible doesn't teach you how to mediate. Study Hindusim or Buddhism.
Wow and thank you. I have been dulling it down for a while now, but it was still about at 50% level that I was aware of. Two, three hours ago, I watched this. I copied the questions, and used them a few times. The rewiring that took place was measurable. I suddenly had very clear, very present thoughts. Making plans, using my mind to order to do lists. A solution to a personal issue came to me. I'm not hollering, "I'm cured. Miracle!" LOL - but for me, I felt a significant change within two hours of hearing about & middling use of this technique. Now I want to go research the Sanskrit version. Thank you, again.
I refer to that part of my thought process as “the storyteller “. It’s a part of me and I’ve learned to “communicate” with it in order to have a quieter mind with positive thoughts.
I appreciate this
How did you learn this?
@@MusicGirl114 60,000m thoughts a day. Practicals are needed to reduce negative thoughts. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a better life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Read about the positive effects of breathing on the brain on google search.
DG, 60,000m thoughts a day. Practicals are needed to reduce negative thoughts. Your breath is directly related to your mind [brain] causing negative thoughts-anxiety For a relaxed life sit on a chair, back erect, hands on lap with palms upwards, eyes closed, be still and observe your natural incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for around 10-15 minutes or more. Let thoughts come. Slowly negative thoughts will reduce and relax the mind. Whenever you are free during the day or night sit still for a few minutes and observe your breath. Being still reduces negative thoughts. Make it a habit. Do the above meditation regularly to have a better life. Best wishes and prayers. Shyaaam Sir. -Counsellor.
Read about the positive effects of breathing on the brain on google search.
what do you call the part of you which communicates with "the storyteller"?
Mind blown... I will be forever grateful.
Excerpt from a book: 'Nurturing the Soul' written by B. K. Mohini from Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University.
Raja Yoga Meditation teaches that we have 4 types of thoughts:
1. Functional or necessary thoughts
2. Wasteful thoughts
3. Negative thoughts
4. Positive thoughts
We don't need to silence the mind but decrease the quantity and increase the quality of our thoughts.
You make a really great point, which echoes nicely what this speaker implies....that some thoughts might be useful and helpful.
So helpful! Thank you. This clicked for me. I have too many negative/wasteful thoughts. That is changing today. 🙏💛
my problem with these questions... whats wrong with day dreams? how does one obtain new ideas or grow as an individual?
@@kafkapie There is a time for day dreams best not while clearing your mind. But then again reciting those two questions as a mantra may be the perfect daydream. Ive never had success with meditation,. This seems to be worth a try.
@@NonAbsoluteAbsolutisim1 maybe I'm afraid of silencing my mind... " If I exorcise my devils. Well my angels may leave too."
The closer to the Devine, the purer the mantra. This mantra is pure and simple. Bless you. Sweet Mercy, indeed. Peace and deep calm joy love follow. A new wave flows like turning into the ether and becoming part of the universal flow.
We don’t want to shut thoughts off but to learn authentic mindfulness that allows us to recognize our thoughts with awareness.
@Dalton Speaks there is no such thing as emptiness. We can not empty our mind. We can not experience nothingness for one requires a presence to experience it. The commenter above is correct and so is the speaker. Just different word use, same definition. Much love
I thought it was to go beyond the mind.
I have listened twice now and the simplicity of the message is what I loved about the speech. Absolutely brilliant, thankyou.
I like these questions too "Who is the one that knows?" "Who is the one thinking?"
A beautiful Ted Talk. Have listened to it every morning for the past few days and will continue to ... so much to learn from it. Anthony Metivier's voice is so easy to listen to. Thanks.
In Denmark some of us practice “Utiseta” (sitting out) in nature at night. Great way to clean out thoughts, with the help of “friends” out there (and “in” there).
John Hudert - Best 13mins invested in listening to the context behind the benefit of why these 2 Qs are worth remembering/utilising. Very worthwhile listening - no waste of time. Even you had to listen to the 13mins before you decided that it was a waste of your time... and then to requote what the 13mins had taught you.
I think maybe this is what all animals have above us. No language to distract from their sense of being.
Thank you Anthony, for pointing to the inner beauty of Sanskrit. It is an often overlooked truth that Sanskrit has a rather unique structure. Hard to find the words to describe it, but let me give it a try. Having followed Anthony for a while I'll try a paradigm from cinema arts, which is one of his areas of expertise.
The waking state of consciousness is like watching a movie. Very engrossing, and our inner silence is overshadowed as the images on the screen become our "reality". If on the other hand we are cognizant of the mechanics of how the film is scripted, shot, edited and projected then we automatically become aware of a much deeper "bigger picture" experience as we watch the films story unfold. We become aware of the simple, pure, white screen.
Sanskrit is a language that illumines our waking consciousness because it is awake to all of those levels of experience. By that I mean every expression contains coherent meanings on all levels of the mind simultaneously. It can describe the very specific localized realities of the physical material world. However in the same expression the words hold alternative, more subtle meanings and the grammar allows the same flow of words to illuminate the underlying reality that the experience can be seen as pure consciousness moving within itself. This magical exposure of the underlying reality is accomplished because Sanskrit belongs originally to a culture where deep inner silence was wide awake inside the population. In our modern chaotic societies Sanskrit, when properly employed can provide a roadmap back to that experience.
So our thoughts are understood to be changing displays of lights on a pure white screen or perhaps like the many waves dancing on the vast unchanging wholeness of the ocean. Once the wave can see itself as the unbounded ocean in a temporarily localized bounded state, its behavior is seem for what it is, a show, a story teller trying to capture our attention with endless, comedies and tragedies.
This information has changed my life, with practice the negative thoughts will just come and go and my mind clutter is clearing everyday, i owe my gratitude to this man and Ted x thank you!
I just awoke to a new day after hitting a new low last night and this is exactly what I needed to hear so thank you!
It's a nice reminder of how to occupy your busy mind with something mechanical and have a useful filter in your life. Thank you - this reminder came with excellent timing.
Thanks to the Algorithm 😂
🕊️Also very helpful, esp at bedtime when thoughts race..I start to Pray... at first I had to remind self often , thoughts came..told self loud in head Pray... that's been most helpful of All I tried thru the years. Best to All 🕊️🙏✨✨
' ... we've got to be able to get past this... we can't afford to NOT SEE and NOT EXTRACT THE VALUE from the things we DON'T LIKE, because we are so STUCK on the Things WE DO LIKE..." Brilliant advise Sir. Thank you !
Thinking is overrated. All my thoughts are imagination. I think of them that much it happens. I was once a headteacher for 3 years. Never had a job as a teacher in a school. But because I said I’m going to be a headteacher and imagined it. 16 months later I got head hunted for the job. Love my mind ❤️
Can you please visualize Donald Trump not getting re-elected? Thank you!!❤❤
@@gardenvariety9957 LMAO
Self-enquiry or "Atma Vicara" Just ask the question. Who am I? And stay with the I. You will enter a relm or substratum of unmanifested I. The true I. OR I-I. It's surreal and incredible.
When he asks "How do my thoughts behave", I THINK he is referring to what action or behavior do we exhibit from these thoughts (typically). Before you were made aware of whether the thought was useful or not useful, you most likely performed the same physical action that you always have. So, he's merely asking you to be aware of HOW your thoughts guide your life. 1) Is it useful? Once you determine that, you can ask yourself, how does my thoughts behave? Do they make me anxious in a good way because there is a REAL threat or am I overthinking for nothing and I'm about to go binge-eat to cope with this thought....? Does that make sense?
Yep that is exactly how I see it. "Is this thought making me angry for no good reason?"
I appreciate your understanding and wanted to add my own experience. I’ve been a on/off meditator for years but have found that when I do meditate consistently, it is a powerful opportunity to observe your own thought patterns. As an example, I remember a time when I was meditating and getting caught up in thinking about how I could be a better educator, start my own private school, and at the pinnacle of that flight, I realized what my mind was doing. It was trying to keep me interested in interacting with it. That is the behavior.
Thank you for explaining this! I was confused about this
Absolutely makes sense. Very well worded, 👍
Lauren Rivera it’s too late by the time you ask yourself that. My assistant told a patient that she tries to stop smoking but ddoesmt nelieve she can. I said that’s the resson right there. You say on outset you don’t believe you can so you never will as long as you say that to yourself. Tell yourself you can and pick a date 3 months from now but at least ten times a day say out loud I willl stop
'Are they helpful? Are they kind? Are they necessary?'' - loose paraphrase of Sri Sathya Sai
Kindness requires a bit of judgment and that can be tricky terrain since most of us consistently know the difference betwween judgment and discernment. That said, this is what his message reminds me of and I appreciate his sharing his journey to the destination.
Fun 'miss'take in hearing that someone else may appreciate. I have hearing and audio processing challenges so I backed up several times trying to hear what his second qustion was. Ulimately, I found and put on CC and enjoyed discovering that the translator picked up that instance of BEHAVIOR as PAY. I love that as a metaphysical near-equivalent. Being one easily mistaken for a WOO-person, I don't believe in coincidence. I hope you experienced a lovely pay-off from this video like I did.
Joy is not taught in a way that truly explains how valuable it is
Joy the least studied and talked about feeling. A very important difference needs to be reintroduced to many
While day to day happiness is subject to interference from outside sources, joy belongs to you 24/7 - 365
366 on leap years
Count blessings often. Reading this is a blessing in and of itself! No?
TLDR:
"Are They useful?"
"How do they behave?"
If you don't have time to watch the video, watch it later.
Are the thoughts useful?
How does who/what behave?
It's a wishy washy talk, I don't want to listen to 13 mins even at double speed
@@KateLate____ I tend to agree. A lot of preamble. Just get to the good stuff already..
Thank you for saving 13 minutes of my life.
Thanks!
after miserably trying to listen to all of that with that terrible audio, I couldn't make out the second one :@
This is absolutely the most helpful way that you have demonstrated how we can all tame our mind. It really works with these two neutralizing questions!!! This is the answer to how we can live peacefully in this world. Thank you for this most practical and user friendly sharing. Bless you for all your years of effort to give us this most precious gift!!!!!! So excellent the way you presented this as well!!!!!
My parents are both doctors and have always told me the beauty of the human body from a scientific standpoint was the reason they were religious.
Truth & Justice will always prevail. Meantime, make sure you act wisely. Karma is a boomerang. It magnifies and returns more than what was initially launched back to the sender.
I did this the simple way. I used a technique which goes like this. I said to myself one day, are my thoughts serving me? Why do I have so much negative noise in my mind? Most of my thoughts are negative and each negative thought I have, takes me to a negative place. I wanted silence. So I said to myself each time I start yo gave a negative thought, a paranoid thought, a thought where I was judging someone else or myself, I would stop and ask myself does this thought serve me and serve others! And these thoughts came at me a hundred times a day, I was on a loop of negative thoughts all day everyday day. Each time I recognised those thoughts that didn’t serve me, in my mind I would envisage the thought as a speech cloud or bubble, I would then take that thought, turn it to paper and screw it up and then I would see myself at a bridge and I would throw that negative thought on paper into the river below and watch it float away, again and again and again and again, dozens of times a day I
Would repeat this practice, either was determined and didn’t give up, everyday for about two weeks I did this, by the two week mark, the thoughts became less and less, and then it didn’t become a conscious thought anymore, the thoughts just stopped coming. Now my mind instantly discards them. I’m not saying it’s silent all of the time, yes I think it I may get sad or I may feel sorry for myself or I may get angry but, 90 percent of my day, my mind is clear, it’s a normal thing now to have no thoughts, no chatter chatter chatter. Eating away at me reinforcing to negative self doubts or negative put me downs or negative thoughts about others. It frees my mind to look for things I am great full for. It honestly took two weeks and it changed my life. I have room now to concentrate and to embrace the now around me. It’s possible ! If I can do it anyone can. ❤
2 Questions to ask when bothered by thoughts & thoughts
Q1. Is my thoughts Useful ?
Q2. How do they behave ?
I am so grateful I came across this. I went in for what was supposed to be a quick doctor's appointment (and which was completely covered by my insurance) two weeks ago and was told I was going to possibly need very invasive surgery but first would need a series of invasive, very uncomfortable, and sometimes painful tests all of which are going to cost me thousands of dollars. I'm 34 and very healthy so this has been very overwhelming and upsetting (to put it lightly). I'm excited to try this out 🙏
All the best ❤
I’m so sorry! I went through a very painful surgery in my early 30’s. It was very traumatic. I know how you feel! Praying for you to get through this. 🙏🏼
Hoping that all is going well for you, Nicole.
Hope you can find some peace and good luck with the surgery.
Have been practicing "no thoughts" since I was a teenager. Appreciated Eckhart Tollle's advice to be the one listening to my thoughts rather than thinking I am my thoughts. I have found a level of contentment by reducing inner monologues, especially recurring negative memories. Sadly I had no mentors to teach logical thinking to plan my actions effectively. While focused on spiritual pursuits I should have balanced it with the benefits of managing money. Positive thinking I learned is a delusion that doesn't manifest in our material world, but a lot of people made fortunes selling the false idea that is actually synchronicity. Dropping the voice in my head does reduce stress, but it's not enlightenment. Using meditation to have a set time for going deeper into our conciousness is appropriate and the rest of our day use thoughts as the tool they are. Ha! Wish I was good at this idea...
☕ ☕ 'n 🍺 - Lol *
Sounds like common sense.A little of this, a little of that plus a little luck and you( we) MIGHT just get some measure of peace...But if there was a cast iron method for everyone then surely,the world would have found it by now
I'm astounded to realise how many of my thoughts are so far from useful!! I mostly laugh or shudder at the first question and rarely even feel the need to question their behaviour 🤣🙏💜
They pretty much go hand in hand. Try backwards then forwards
I am not 100% sure I understand. When I am spiraling, I know it. I’m aware that the thoughts I’m thinking are the depression or anxiety talking. I’m aware that I shouldn’t worry or fixate on situations that I can’t control. But that doesn’t give me silence, there are still just as many thoughts, I just know that I need to sort through which ones are really me and I can keep hold of and which ones are just my depression and anxiety. It’s helpful for sure and this practice has absolutely changed my life as I can stop myself from spiraling so often. But the thoughts don’t stop and it take a lot of mental and emotional energy to sort through all of them.
So my negative thoughts: are they useful? (no) How do they behave? (They are negative and do me no good) But that doesn’t exactly stop the fixation or spiraling. It just helps to keep yourself rational.
I agree to this. Especially how the questions are answered mentally.
Something that has helped me in actually calming down the negative thoughts is writing out the thoughts that I hear. Literally all of them at the moment of spiraling. It seems like your thoughts just want to be heard and need a way to get us to listen and resolve the issues. I'm also using Mindspace (on RUclips and Netflix) which helps to calm my mind and listen to myself when not in that negative space. It's been extremely helpful.
An example of writing all thoughts to find the source of the negativity: I'm angry, I hate you (me), I'm sad, why me, I don't want to hurt, I'm hungry, I'm suffering, what if I just ate?, I don't hate me [continue writing until you feel better or when you find the thing that started the negativity. In the example I gave, what started the negative thought was being hungry and not eating. Once you eat, the spiraling will subside]
Thank you for this comment. I too didn't understand the point of his presentation. After reading your comment though I think he was talking about negativity spirals and panic attacks (which are themselves a thought feedback loop). In both of those cases I've found ways to think and reason about them. For me it isn't about quieting / silencing / suppressing thoughts; it's about dispassionately examining the underlying causes of the thoughts in a way that disarms them. From your comment it sounds like you do something similar.
I think there's a difference between noticing the thoughts and getting caught up in them. There's no way to stop the flow of thoughts but one can reduce the automatic habit of dwelling on them. It's like the difference between paying attention to a TV show and just leaving the TV on as background noise without paying any attention to it. If it doesn't capture our attention it doesn't impact us at that moment.
Love it, it's like putting a filter on your thoughts before they can go any further.
I learned from the book, ' Battlefield of the Mind' to think about what you are thinking about. It took practice but it works. Patterns to neutralize patterns. For me, bible scriptures neutralized the negative thoughts. Thank God I no longer have the constant negative tape playing over and over in my mind all day. Ty for this revealing Ted Talk 😃
There's horrendous scripture in the bible. You must be cherry picking the few good ones.
@@dawn8542 He is reading it in sanskrit.
The Bible actually holds nothing but good promisses for believers, that's why it comforts many. Now since it also contains history and things that happened also include terrible mistakes, not everything makes a happy story. But actually selecting the parts with the promises instead of punishment/mistakes is not picking, but rather knowing your way around a work of 66 books over more than a 1000 years. Starting with the New Testament and especially Jesus' words offers lots of hope.
“The message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.” 1 Cor. 1:18
@@GarekGeo 👏👏👏
The questions to neutralize negative thinking by the internal voice are finally stated at 13:10 min:sec. "Are my thoughts useful?" "How do they behave?" The talk before that point is not informative. I am reminded of Aristotle's criteria for speaking but applied to the internal dialogue: "It it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?"
Possibly my favorite Ted talk
Negative thoughts like a storm in my head criticizing me. But when I say my mantra "when I don't care anymore I am free" and I imagine this rain of mud pouring down from my head to toes and I just let it be.. Then I start to feel better afterwards.. I don't know if it work for everyone but it works for me...
When he says "How do my thoughts behave?" He means, when you have certain thoughts or when you are in a certain place where do your thoughts start to go towards, What direction? do you stay in that state of mind for a long time? Is it hard for you to get out of a negative state or sadness? That kind of thing.
Mine do tend to go towards the negative, though I call myself a relentless optimist. I do positive energy work for a living, make spell candles, and help people see that life isn't something that happens TO you, that they can choose to be whomever they want and have the things they want and need, but it's hard to take my own advice and look past the triviality of a sink full of dishes and an unfinished to do list while my toddler pulls books out of the bookshelf. "How do my thoughts behave?" That's something I need to think about; this whole talk was incredibly inspirational to me.
I interpreted it very differently.
"is it useful" -----> yes/no
"how does it behave" --------> how is it (particular thought or set of thoughts) useful/damaging, what is the effect?
You asked ' Is it hard for you to get out of a negative state or sadness?'
I think the point of these types of exercises is to get better at making that easier, not to notice and obsess over how hard it is or can be
No disrespect intended
@@DB-dc4ts you had me until you said “no disrespect” lol
@@brianleep. I'm not sure what you mean
@@DB-dc4ts It’s a trigger phrase for me. My Landlord always says that just before he disrespects you. Sorry was more for my own amusement.
Thoughts are a life forms trying to create themselves in our dimension
-joe rogan and Duncan trussel
This was so incredibly helpful. Cleaning and refreshing. THANK YOU!!! Love and light xx
I have been in such a deep depression thinking about the past mistakes I have made. Are these thoughts useful? Not on your life! How do they behave? They make me feel horrible. I needed this so badly. Thinking of jumping off a bridge just keeps on ping pinging in my brain because I was told I was a f*ck up. I have cried for days over those two words. I need a hug!
Your advice has really helped me. It’s only been an day but I’m really feeling a lot better now I’m able to make that voice stop bothering me with your method
I asked Anthony Metivier via Twitter to elaborate on the second question "how does it behave"
@AnthonyMetivier
Thanks for asking about this. I'm going to create a video to elaborate a.s.a.p. For now, the point is to ask the question and see what answer comes up. It's a means of labeling thoughts so you can contextualize them, i.e. this is a needy thought that behaves from false scarcity
Thanks for asking that question and posting the reply. That is very helpful👍
The general principle is to isolate the thoughts, and the questions are the scalpels. They produce daylight ( impair overidentifying with) between you and the thoughts. The “answer” to the questions are not the point but can be interesting especially if you allow yourself to entertain their changeable nature.
Thanks, I was a bit lost on that part too to be honest, thanks for clearing that up! @SMERSH009
Thanks for asking and posting 💙
Your mind is a tool for you to use not the other way around. I need to get out and walk in nature for thought to turn off🌳🌱🌿🍃🌾🍀🦚🦜🐿🦡🌞🦌
Very useful information. One more suggestion for overthinking. Be careful what you feed your mind. Avoid comparing your life with others, reduce watching negative social media and avoid constipation as it affects the mind instantly. Your breathing is closely related to the brain [mind] and gives relief from stress-anxiety. For a relaxed mind observe the sensations of your incoming--outgoing breath at the entrance of the nostrils for 5-10-15 minutes or more. You can sit or lay down on the bed--eyes closed--No deep breathing. Don’t fight your thoughts. With practice the mind will relax. Keep a reminder to observe your breath sensations throughout the day and night anywhere -anytime-- before sleep, at work, taking a walk, at home, when travelling etc with eyes open or closed. Like me make breath observing a lifetime habit to have a better life. Best wishes--Counsellor.
Apparently the universe finally showed me something amazingly relevant to me on RUclips. Thanks for this.
My god I was going through a anxiety attack right now and thinking about the quotes calmed me down ☺️
You may like Ryan Holiday at Daily Stoic, Samira. ❤️🤘
Marty McKerry thanks a bunch for your kind recommendation.
Samira Haider No problem at all. 🤘