Even though I am 5’ 11’’ I am not gonna lie about my height but once I reach 6’ I’m gonna say 6’ 1’’ on the apps since every dude that’s 5’ 8’’-5’ 11’’ says they’re 6’
@@browniebatter00their low self esteem makes them feel like they are great(bc of insecurity) and that makes them have an inflated ego and high standards
I know right it’s so weird? I know it’s not the majority but some people just don’t know how to communicate with one another/have too high expectations for one another. It’s a cruel world
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
@@0ffendingeverybodyI've asked this for the 3rd time so answer please Is father cunning ham an actual person that assaulted you?😅 it's OK if u feel uncomfortable to answer
From a Woman. Here is your guide of how women actually see guys. Height: If you’re tall, it gives you points. But if you’re on the shorter side, don’t be insecure about it. It’s a major turn off. Also, if you’re short, get buff and it will overshadow your height. Body: It’s surprising how much girls like scrawny guys. However, athletic bodies are mostly desirable. However, many girls also like beefy guys(Guys with quite a bit of muscle and a little chubby). Hair: If you’re going bald, shave it off. Your genetics said no. Give it up. Eyebrows: If it goes well with your face, you don’t have to change it. But if you have a unibrow, get help from your nearest woman to get rid of it asap. Beard: Each girl has different preferences Fun Bags: None is okay but If you have it, It’s good only if it’s muscle. Booty: Have a little booty. But if you have a lot, it’s also only good if it’s muscle Eyes: If it goes well with your face, it’s good. Nose: If it goes well with your face, you don’t have to change it. I’m sick of seeing guys with greek god arch noses get rid of. Just don’t. Teeth: The classic Hollywood teeth are desirable. Jaw line: If you have it, it’s good. Skin tone: It depends on the girl’s preference Complexion: Take care of your skin. Smell: Please take showers. Voice: Lower the better but if you are hot or have a good personality, it doesn’t really matter unless you sound like Mickey mouse. Tattoo: It depends on the girl’s preference. Intelligence: Just be smart enough to notice social cues and read the room Confidence: Be confident, not cocky. Humor: Funnier the better. But if humor is not your thing, don’t try to be funny. You will look desperate trying it. Empathy: please have some empathy, you are human. However there are times where you should and should not be overly caring towards someone. When you are starting to like someone and don’t know if she likes you back, don’t be overly caring as it may come off as creepy. Start being very caring when you are sure the other person has feelings for you back. Jealousy: don’t fight people you’re jealous about. You will look like a loser and a douchebag. Good with kids: it’s a good trait but it’s okay to not like kids. Career: a good career is good. Idk what to tell you Clothes: Just search for casual men's outfits on Pinterest. That’s what you should go for if you don’t know what to wear. Suits are fine but only on special occasions. Also, don’t wear the same shirt every day or twice a day in a row. Girls notice and will think you don’t shower. Accessories: Some people are very hot in glasses. But it’s best to go without it to be safe. Age: date people your age I hope this helps. More advice: If you like someone, you should try to look good to the person you like. Get to know them better and their preferences. But don’t change yourself completely to their preferences. Instead, keep the part that makes you, you. Things like being geeky or liking certain things should stay the same. However, try to change yourself for the better. For instance, spray some perfume to smell better, or go get a fresh haircut that suits you better. Start going to the gym, or brush your teeth every day. Things like these can change you. And even after you’ve improved yourself, if she doesn’t like you, then you guys are not meant to be. Don’t blame her though. It just didn’t work out because you guys aren’t compatible. There is someone out there in the world that will be good for you. She just wasn’t the one. So don’t be discouraged and continue on trying to improve yourself. You will one day find someone for you.
This makes a hell of a lot more sense than this goofy ass video. But despite me filling out all the non preference related requirements, I'm still single af lol 😂
the dude who made the original video is a menace fr it’s like reverse activism that somehow still brings all the different groups together 😂 except India, he pretty much only does India dirty
@@lixinzzplacee yeah i knowz lol. It was just funny to me how he was ranking men stuff and being very “zesty” if you may. So sarcasm or saying the obvious is funny to me.
Tag Your Homies To Let Them Know...You're Betta
Im... a pet fish?
🤫🧏♂️
I'm ugly as hell
Now can you show us a face reveal already. Your already at A Mil
IS THAT THE REAL ONE??!!
I love how 5’11 isnt mentioned because everyone who is claims to be 6’
I’m close to 6 feet but I still say that I’m 5’11 😂
Even though I am 5’ 11’’ I am not gonna lie about my height but once I reach 6’ I’m gonna say 6’ 1’’ on the apps since every dude that’s 5’ 8’’-5’ 11’’ says they’re 6’
Wow, how did he know? Wtf
5'11 is close enough. 🤷
I’m 5’11 and I’m proud of that
bro did NOT fall off
he got on
@@ilikecheez6me
Oogway could learn a thing or two.
Edit: goodness gracious 400+ likes, thank you guys
@@BodhiDecker😂😂😂
@@BodhiDeckerdark humor without getting canceled 🔛🔝
“WHERE ARE MY HARPOONS” That’s crazy (as always)
He ain’t wrong
He ain’t wrong.chain👇?
@@MMAHQWORLDWIDE no
yes
Crazy? I was crazy once. They locked me in a room. A rubber room. A rubber room with rats and rats make me crazy.
“There doesn’t have to be a tomorrow” is really just amazing motivation😊
It’s sans
@@Fells-Productionsnah I don’t think so
"END YOURSELF WHALE!"
That line made me lose it 😂
"WHERE ARE MY HARPONS !!"
WHERE!!!!
My man just hit the jackpot with that joke 😂
@@Teleported7Bread real
@@Teleported7Bread real
If there’s anything that I’ve learned from dating apps, it’s two things
people have too HIGH of standards and too LOW of self esteem
High standards, low self esteem, but somehow simultaneously an inflated ego
It literally makes no sense
@@browniebatter00 people make no sense...and people on dating aps make even less sense
@@browniebatter00their low self esteem makes them feel like they are great(bc of insecurity) and that makes them have an inflated ego and high standards
@@browniebatter00 EXACTLY .... basically UNTOUCHABLE
I know right it’s so weird? I know it’s not the majority but some people just don’t know how to communicate with one another/have too high expectations for one another. It’s a cruel world
There's a book called Casanova Playbook of Magnetism, and it talks from body language and conversaton starters to dark mind tricks and flirting through texts, it's the real deal
This feels like a classic bot bait
The Playbook
Barney Stinson
Casanova Playbook for Magnetism sounds like the ultimate feline repellent ngl.
@@RyanBright-wg1yk *female
@@RyanBright-wg1yk Bro
"ponytails. It`s like your giving us handle bars' is wild😂😂
5:32
Black don't crack black does crack
As a black person that joke was hilarious 🤣
😂
😂
That shit had me on the floor laughing.
Yo Offending, I got some video ideas!
1. How to defend your Johnson
2. How to stop your jerkin’ addiction
3. How to spot a Drake simp
Believe it or not, all are applicable to a drake fan
2 of these ideas benefit to me
His patreon discord server has a vid suggest channel
My boy has cooked again and I'm here for it
Dogg served us a 5 star meal
My oven's open and I'm spitting fire
@@0ffendingeverybody my man dont stop the oven we need more food WE ARE HUNGRYYYY
Offering others their greatest desires@@0ffendingeverybody
'WHERE ARE MY HARPOONS' right at the end cracked me up 😂😂😂😂😂
The king of dark humor is back
Thats true
Of course
Yesss
He didn't leave his lesson when he did this with with races 😭🙏
The lizzo jokes were outta pocket 🗣️
Dating is like EDP at a preschool, too hard
LMAO
WILD LMAO
💀💀
5’11 girls😎 Vs 5’11 guys🙂↕️
When I was 5'11 I got away with saying I'm 6 feet lol
@@greenbeastofthehiddenleaf they can only tell if they get the tape measure out
Remember fellas, always round up ⬆️
Average male
height is 5 ft 8 lol
In my country its like 6 2 or smth @Himathyyy
I got -160😭
How😭
HOW
@@MagnusMagnus22 good question
There doesn’t have to be a tomorrow ;)
@@audivivocem I know.
3:36 *_GOOD G O D_*
i need the sauce
@@Nordestino-Da-Selva Crazy
@@Izzytheninjaits valid
@@Chessplayer81837very damn valid actually
@@Chessplayer81837 if you say so
OffendingEverybody is named that for a reason
I'm just lettin peeps know what they're getting into
And ur doing a good job at it
@@0ffendingeverybodyI've asked this for the 3rd time so answer please
Is father cunning ham an actual person that assaulted you?😅 it's OK if u feel uncomfortable to answer
"WERE ARE MY HARPOONS" Mr. OffendingEverybody is master of jokes,crazy joke as always😂😂😂.
And here I was thinking my humor be crazy unholy. You are a menace with these ss+ tier jokes new sub you earned It by a mile
5:02 IS WILD
M guessing your pfp seems to agree with him
1:45
Careful, you wouldn’t want to have his _wife’s name in your mouth_
He may get slapped
6:53 wanting to get into a Japanese spa one day without being labeled as a Yakuza member
I was trying listening and respecting opinion, but then looked at channel name. Great work, you almost got me!
Wait hold on how did I get 370 and can’t even pull a rat
You need 405
It all or nothing with these bitches
I got a negative 85
I can’t pull anything and I got 130. We probably just have to work on our pulling game then we’ll finally be unstoppable
Personality
@@Somerandom_namemust be a ginger.
4:16 you really thought you could slip that in without anyone noticing , you ain't that slick
Good to know I was not the only one seeing that
saw it too
I saw it too
Game is game boys 🤫
Caught him as well
0:21 damn bro why are you gonna call me out like that?💀
Your cooked man 🙏🏾😭
If you’re a teen it’s ok you will grow out of it
@@Najrogangstop using the term cooked it’s really annoying shows how much of a discord mod you are
The dentures one was crazy 💀
Getting dummy from that gummy
5:17 WTF WAS THAT. BRO, NO FXCKIN WAY
hey game is game
Only men will get that reference
@@0ffendingeverybodyI've watched enough pron to know what that is.
@0ffendingeverybody yep
“I’m into Kitties not Chameleons” HAD ME DYING💀💀💀
ur comment got stolen by a bot
10:00 Money has nothing to do with ego, it's about divorce.
From a Woman. Here is your guide of how women actually see guys.
Height: If you’re tall, it gives you points. But if you’re on the shorter side, don’t be insecure about it. It’s a major turn off. Also, if you’re short, get buff and it will overshadow your height.
Body: It’s surprising how much girls like scrawny guys. However, athletic bodies are mostly desirable. However, many girls also like beefy guys(Guys with quite a bit of muscle and a little chubby).
Hair: If you’re going bald, shave it off. Your genetics said no. Give it up.
Eyebrows: If it goes well with your face, you don’t have to change it. But if you have a unibrow, get help from your nearest woman to get rid of it asap.
Beard: Each girl has different preferences
Fun Bags: None is okay but If you have it, It’s good only if it’s muscle.
Booty: Have a little booty. But if you have a lot, it’s also only good if it’s muscle
Eyes: If it goes well with your face, it’s good.
Nose: If it goes well with your face, you don’t have to change it. I’m sick of seeing guys with greek god arch noses get rid of. Just don’t.
Teeth: The classic Hollywood teeth are desirable.
Jaw line: If you have it, it’s good.
Skin tone: It depends on the girl’s preference
Complexion: Take care of your skin.
Smell: Please take showers.
Voice: Lower the better but if you are hot or have a good personality, it doesn’t really matter unless you sound like Mickey mouse.
Tattoo: It depends on the girl’s preference.
Intelligence: Just be smart enough to notice social cues and read the room
Confidence: Be confident, not cocky.
Humor: Funnier the better. But if humor is not your thing, don’t try to be funny. You will look desperate trying it.
Empathy: please have some empathy, you are human. However there are times where you should and should not be overly caring towards someone. When you are starting to like someone and don’t know if she likes you back, don’t be overly caring as it may come off as creepy. Start being very caring when you are sure the other person has feelings for you back.
Jealousy: don’t fight people you’re jealous about. You will look like a loser and a douchebag.
Good with kids: it’s a good trait but it’s okay to not like kids.
Career: a good career is good. Idk what to tell you
Clothes: Just search for casual men's outfits on Pinterest. That’s what you should go for if you don’t know what to wear. Suits are fine but only on special occasions. Also, don’t wear the same shirt every day or twice a day in a row. Girls notice and will think you don’t shower.
Accessories: Some people are very hot in glasses. But it’s best to go without it to be safe.
Age: date people your age
I hope this helps.
More advice: If you like someone, you should try to look good to the person you like. Get to know them better and their preferences. But don’t change yourself completely to their preferences. Instead, keep the part that makes you, you. Things like being geeky or liking certain things should stay the same. However, try to change yourself for the better. For instance, spray some perfume to smell better, or go get a fresh haircut that suits you better. Start going to the gym, or brush your teeth every day. Things like these can change you. And even after you’ve improved yourself, if she doesn’t like you, then you guys are not meant to be. Don’t blame her though. It just didn’t work out because you guys aren’t compatible. There is someone out there in the world that will be good for you. She just wasn’t the one. So don’t be discouraged and continue on trying to improve yourself. You will one day find someone for you.
Never thought I’d see good advice in this comment section but here we are.
Best comment here
This makes a hell of a lot more sense than this goofy ass video. But despite me filling out all the non preference related requirements, I'm still single af lol 😂
Well, time to grab the shotgun from the shelf. At least THAT I can reach
I need this info. But I can’t read allthat
this guys videos are so random and yet i love em
“Father Cunninghan” got me dyinggg😭
You did us 5'11" guys dirty skipping over us, just like every woman...
3:38
WE MUST STAY FOCUSED BROTHERS WE MUST STAY FOCUSED
The only holey thing I pray to 😮
I think a bit copied this and got a lot more likes, it also got a comment from him
good god
THEN SOMETHING JUST SNAPPED! SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME
HOLY FUCK!!!!
I was suppose to tally points???, this vid had me dying 😂,so I forgot
Ended up with 245 points, I think his score method is flawed😂 or I'm that great.
@@antoniohagopian213yeah he said +30 points is a baddie
I got 60 points and I am KHHV 18 years old
@antoniohagopian213 -120
You'll get there some day bud, but my score is true perfection
225
I got 0
The first frame and the title of this video is definitively what I’ve been waiting form this guy
"Love seeing a pearl necklace"
*I know what you did there*
he killed batman's parents
10:46 *PUT IT IIIIIINNNNNNNNNN!*
with out CONSENTTTTTTTT
@@meowsicalesdarkshadow5825IN ALABAMAAAAAAA!
FBIIIIIIIIIII
OVER THERE!
Hard to give a number when I'm hard
@@0ffendingeverybody 💀
Indeed, its my Lami Pencil and its two inc sacs…
Ew, 😭
You mean Lamy?
Video Idea:
Which Addiction is the most fun to have?
The > 5'7" rule was broken by the most reliable guy in JJBA
I got a fucking 0
Bro how I got 110 😭😭😭
@@moldy5810lucky I got -80 💀🙏 and my dream chick is 130
Same
💀💀
I’m under fucking -60, but i’m still standing!
6:30 NO ONE TICKLING YOU 😂😂😂😂😂😂
Imagine being a diddler and wearing a tickle me elmo costume
@@0ffendingeverybody XD
@@0ffendingeverybodydont give them any ideas
@@0ffendingeverybody”Haha! Tickle me Billy!” It’s even better since the old Elmo was a kiddy fiddler
9:37 FINALLY someone said it
Easiest call out of the vid
the dude who made the original video is a menace fr it’s like reverse activism that somehow still brings all the different groups together 😂 except India, he pretty much only does India dirty
one of the most real channels, thank you for existing
He offended everybody.
L didn’t get offended
He offended no one
Dang 10 likes
I am to please...or annoy. I'm not quite sure
@@0ffendingeverybody I wanna be pleased
4:21 Talk about double whammy is actually crazy, Love these vids!
“What is this, Drake’s bedroom?”
GODDAMMIT 🤣🤣🤣🤣
6:55 got that grippy throat 💀
Un dead head💀
Necromancy head💀
Bro back with another banger to lower my confidence 🗣️🗣️🔥🔥
If you can laugh at yourself then others can't hurt you
One of the best new gen youtubers
Agreed
Cancer, Mr Beast, Racism. Lots of bangers yet to come
Needed that confidence booster, thanks bud
9:14 my guy cooked with this comment. honestly i don’t even think a woman would be offended by that because it was just so smooth
Man, this is the way comedy needs to be. Very nice work. Laughed the whole time. 😂
finding a date should be way easier now!
congrats on 1 million subs, you're comedy gold
I'm the perfect mix of smart and impulsive thanks to ADHD
ME TOO
Wait a god damn minute we had to keep scores i was just dying of laughter from all the jokes
YESSSSS,He took the video game stat thing and made another,most hyped video this year for you i think
5:56 “Complextion?” 💀 6:33 “Vin Deseal?” 💀
-20, teenager = pain
10:25 had me rolling
bro is back 🔥🔥🔥time to binge the entire channel
Alright which one of guys actually calculated and still got in the negatives 😂
i calculated it and i got 105 i can assure you its not that hard
Nahh I got in the positive
Got a 15.
*Thank God*
-10 got a lot of work to do lol
I got 270 lmao
10:35 i beg to differ
🧐
Is this Drake's Alt account?
@@0ffendingeverybodyno it’s an OVO fan account
Technically in some countries you can have sex at age sixteen...
Let’s hope you’re under 18
Never get attached to someone cheating with you because they'll eventually find someone else
I’ll do a push up for every like
Get to it
@@KillinWithKi11Roy ez
Hurry up
Oil up cuz i’m going to push you vertically.
you have 140
"where are my harpoons!!" is crazy!! fire content btw🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
9:00 , you forgot femboy clothes
It’s not the gay DLC, that comes out next month
I'll add it in the sequel
@@0ffendingeverybody Can you do the same thing but gay? Idk how but that's an idea
@@Wario_loves_GarlicThat’s what I was thinking
"Pillows are great but your bed is busted" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 line of the fkin YEAR!!
you know its a good month when this G uploads
Bro this is actually genius cause I didn’t pay attention at all to points so now I have to watch it again
Same
1:11 that made my day
What language is he speaking
@@LTSP149Spanish
@@smile_burgerimpressive how hes very influent in it tho
What is he saying
My god girl is so hot this coming from a hispano
"its like your giving us handle bars" i love this guy
2:09 that scream got me dead 💀
3:55 Whys broski built like the Roblox man face
NAHHHHHH
I nearly choked bro the amount of absolute barbecuing this man is doing always makes my day
“WHERE ARE MY HARPOONS” always gets me ☠️☠️☠️
0:57 i did not expect for him to become captain ahab
why is there a moby dick reference on this kinda video 😭
Unfortunately saw this at work, took me 5 minutes to keep my laughter in check, everyone thought I got bad news cus I covered my face and was shaking
WHALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4:11 I’m very mad at you offendingeverybody, you got me into deleting my search history 😡
😂
This comment has no business having me laughing like this
The male brain really sh1ts the bed sometimes
@@0ffendingeverybody Like the little secret you put there lol
OffendingEverybody is secretly gay
yeah like how does he know if someone is gay? 🤨
But only on Sundays, unless hes wearing his socks
yes
not really secret he acts like it in some of his videos + he openly supports gay ppl
@@lixinzzplacee yeah i knowz lol. It was just funny to me how he was ranking men stuff and being very “zesty” if you may. So sarcasm or saying the obvious is funny to me.
Idk why brodie dissed tall woman like that 💀💀
Bro these videos always make my day. Keep up the good work.
now I gotta rewatch the whole video.
8:34 bill cosby moment
The where are my harpoons lives rent free in my head 1:19
11:05
tomorrow is optional
Wait is that actually father cunningham in the picture at 7:00
Starting with -60 and finishing with 185
Huh
Started at -60 to but ended with 155
1:19 FIND THE HARPOONS!!!!
1:17
The descriptions are crazy XD good job you really know what you are doing.
These are my fav type of vids to do. Always looking for types of peeps to break down
3:36 HOLY FUCK
That Jada line was diabolical 😂😂
3:37 I ascended.
I admit, I do think that peaches>funbags.
3:19 dayyyyummm💀
0:56 some people fiend for this
the "are you alone" eyes I got, but luckily my chad face makes up for it 💀
"And good God🥴🥴" ------- Dude cracks me up everytime 😂