How to Stop Buying Things You Don't Need | Mel Robbins
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- Опубликовано: 10 фев 2025
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"How do I stop buying dumb stuff?!"
Except for simply turning away from the new dress you don’t need or closing out Amazon before it’s too late, you have to understand the reason you spend - it’s because you aren’t being compassionate to yourself in other areas of your life.
Overspending has been proven to be a sign of insecurity and lack of compassion for who you are and where you are in your life. You feel a certain way about yourself, and use spending as a temporary solution to make you feel happier in a moment.
I have a personal story about how materialism has ruled my mind before, and I’ll share how you can stop yourself in your tracks before making impulsive decisions, and how you can start to show yourself the love and respect you deserve.
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My mother used to say "The fastest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back into your pocket" :-)
Epic.
Exactly, let the debt collectors pay the debt 🤝
Very Deep ❤️
Wow! I like it🙈🥰
So simple and so true😉
Brilliant!!!!!
“If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.”
― Warren Buffett
Wonderful quote 👌👌
😱
So true!!!! Going through this process now and it’s painful but eye-opening at the same time. Not too late to recalibrate my mindset.
Whenever I'm out and see something I want to buy I take a photo of it instead. That way I can take a piece of it home with me and get the thrill without the bill. Then every few weeks I scroll through my photos and realize I'm glad I didn't buy all of that crap.
WOW! That's a great way to do it. And I like "the thrill without the bill." Very clever.
I am definitely using that, brilliant!
Really smart idea!
super idea!
Mindi Bear
You are so clever! I am impressed. Never read about this technique before. You should do a video of it and show photos of the silly things you wanted.
People have forgotten the difference between need and want.
Beatnikzombie yes it feels very similar when you get the surge. I guess need is probably not so exciting but the want can be overwhelming so it merges into feeling like a need.
Exactly. Need = shelter, food/water, clothing, health care.
The problem is that humans need happiness. It's not that we confuse need and want. It is that we need happiness and mistakenly believe that what we want will always bring happiness to us. We need to go deeper, learn about why we put the idea of happiness into certain things and what is really what we are trying to fill inside us. Not so easy when we also live in a world full of marketing strategies that are precisely designed to put that exact idea in your head: this thing will make you happy.
@@Zarabozo There is always a reason of being happy. Money is one of them.
My thoughts exactly
Whenever I see someone in a nicer, newer car than me, I comfort myself with the fact that it's all mine and not financed 😊. It's a great feeling.
...you are soooo lucky!!!!!!! no car payment equals freedom!
There's a woman I know she drove a beat up car and put 140 away every paycheck then when she had it used it to buy a new car out right but any other saving I didn't ask her
Same here. The best car to have is the one without any payments.
247Beauty absolutely I’m with you.
There are all types out there and the reality is there are people who make a lot of money, so much so that they can buy a fancy car and pay for it in full before leaving the dealership (or can afford to keep as a lease for a businesses and write it off on their taxes), and they can also have a amazing house and an incredible portfolio with savings split it up and growing by the minute in all sorts of investments. However, for me it’s about not comparing my situation to others because it brings no added value to me. So I can’t justify thinking my car is paid for and consequently, unlike the person driving a fancy brand new car, I don’t have the headache of a monthly car payment. Maybe that person doesn’t either, maybe it’s a company car. My point is we are all in different places in life, you nor I need to compare with anyone and come up with these thoughts to feel better about our perfectly, wonderful lives as is.
It’s all simply stuff. And I guarantee you, if you’re not happy with you (based on my personal experience) it doesn’t matter what car I’m driving or whether or not it’s paid for or not, I will continue to be unhappy wherever life takes me. You all keep doing you, you’re doing great and there are enough people who live you for it and who probably don’t care about the car you drive. Pls assume positive intent with this comment.
Hi I am 20 years old and I needed to hear this. For the past year I have been spending way too much money, money that I dont have on things that I don't necessarily need. I keep buying makeup but I really only use a fraction of it. I have gotten myself in debt which I am not determined to get myself out of before the end of the year. I had associated my happiness with that rush feeling I get when I spend over £400 on makeup in one day. Thanks for giving me the compassion perspective and 5 second rule.
Your_ UnfilteredBeauty I am with You! I used go be really good with my spending but about 2 years ago I went through 2 really tough circumstances at once and I find myself spending to make me feel better. I'll go to target because I "need something" but 90% of the times I don't know what I "need" till I get there. This is very helpful and I definitely plan to implement this.
Aw I am really touch while I am listening to this advice. Is like I am polluted of buying things too much. I am wondering within myself asking God how is this spirit is confusing me yo pushed me to buy things.Expecially from stores. I have cried to God now let me don't go to any stores to buy too much anything else. Even I see any latest styles I will crave to sew it. Even one of my semistres advice me to stop sewing lot of things like that. I confessed to her is like a spell the enemies has placed on me just to buy unnecessary things like that I am crying bitterly in my heart for that because people are suffering out there I am just spending my money on material things. God please help me and change my heart ooh God the father and son to stop buying things ooh God.
Augusta Yarteh I feel like Simply asking God isn’t going to help, (but it’s your belief and I respect it) but I think knowing your impulse and acknowledging of falling into the category of mindless consumer like millions of Americans because you feel you need something but as soon as you buy it within Weeks even days it become worn and old in your eyes. I really do wish capitalism here in The United States were to be reformed to one similar to Finland’s, Sweden’s, or Denmark’s, because the current system right heavily markets to us in any media platform and distorts what it means to be happy. Making us insecure, bloodthirsty for a newer item that tarnishes before our eyes. I’m sorry if I offended you but please note that is my opinion and I’m only 15.
Your_ UnfilteredBeauty so how have you fared two years later?
Oh my I'm so sorry. $400 or pounds for make-up in one shot or even one year is crazy. You have an addiction. Good luck and God bless you.
100% agree about investing in yourself in meaningful ways and not in materialism
1).Stop going to the shops
2). Meet your needs in other ways
3). Don't keep up with the Joneses.
I take photos of things I want to see if I'm still keen a day later.
I go to the library cos it feel like shopping, but free!! You get that feeling of the hunt and taking it home without money
Jane Baker great idea! I will go to the library soon I think!
I can't go to library not permitted
Actually, I find this to be applicable on another level- not for 'what I don't have' but more so for past decisions/ consequences for former choices.' There's a type of grief that happens when you see that others made a better choice than you did, or were able to take advantage of circumstances, etc. that were not available to you at the time- even if honest valid reasons surround it all.. When you see a former peer whose career choices yielded more rewards than did yours, etc. - jealousy/envy is not always the first reaction for some; self-recrimination/reproachment and honest sadness/self- diminishment often is. The self-compassion is usually non-existent unless you see a lovely video like this to give you perspective. Thanks very, very much!
I realized one day that, just because something was beautiful/cool/interesting/add your own adjective, I did not have to POSSESS it. This is the "Oh, I must HAVE it!" feeling we get. Just like a beautiful flower, if you just HAVE to HAVE/possess it, you must cut it to bring it into your house. You have just deprived the flower of its natural life and, more importantly (as a life lesson), you have deprived others of its beauty as they walk or drive by. You can apply this to anything that can be bought or even to other people. If you desire someone else's partner, that means, like a beautiful piece of jewelry or flower, you want to possess that person (i.e., be involved with them, have them for yourself, take them away from another). If you can let go of the need to possess things and people, let that go, and be content with leaving things to be appreciated, admired, and loved, but not possessed. Leave it where you found it. I hope this helps someone! Blessings! Also, MEL, thank you!!
Thank you, you are adorable 💓
When I see something like that, I take a picture of it and enjoy the picture.
One year later I am still getting positive feeling from my slightly more expensive better than usual shoes. So, I am trying to buy things that I really like, and remember that less if actually more
My key? Getting laid off! I was laid off earlier this year out of the blue (after twenty years I did not see that coming) but I was lucky enough to get severance and have money stashed away. Well when I knew a check was coming every two week I had boxes from amazon a few times a week and new clothes each season. Guess what? Because I wasn’t sure when my next check was coming I just suddenly stopped shopping unless I NEEDED something and I haven’t missed a thing! I have plenty of clothes. I have plenty of stuff. I was shopping for “something to do” and it’s been one of the lessons of having to start a new career.... I learned I don’t need 75% of the stuff I was buying all the time. Amen! I’ve started my own business and am starting to see money come in now but will never handle money as I did before. What a blessing!
Good for you. Sometimes good
happens from bad or a mistake.
All the best. Greetings from
Switzerland.
Amen!
Necessity is the mother of invention.
I’m in the same boat at the moment. In survival mode.
ıf u stop watching tv and commercials, automatically buying stuff will decrease. It happened to me. watching TV and commercials are brainwashing. I watch everything on the internet now and I skip the advertisements.
You're absolutely correct!
This is so true. I ALWAYS mute the ads on the TV if I ever watch it, which is very rare these days. I also mute the radio between songs, or just play Spotify which is $12/mth for no ads. It saves me more in the long run because I'm never tempted! I've also found it constructive to deliberately un-brainwash myself by watching videos like these on RUclips regularly, and documentaries like "The Mimimalists" or Consumerism stuff....
Why don't you get AdBlock?
Rosa Rosa some You Tube videos promote the buying culture eg clothes, cosmetics and lots of other things. It is crazy to see the amount of makeup some people have. How many lipsticks and eyeshadows can you possibly wear in a year. Some have enough to start their own shop
I no longer watch beauty guru video
Become a minimalist. Ditch
TV's, cars and too much junk
in your life. Luckily I live in
Switzerland where we have
a marvelous integrated transport
system. Generally we are not
clutterbugs but prefer experiences. Glad I live here.
i envy u😭😭😭
I want to move to Switzerland, seems a lot better than here in soooo many ways. I don't know how complicated that would be or if it's possible. Some of my ancestors are from Switzerland as well. I would much rather be poor in a place I feel comfortable and belong than be even middle class or rich here in the USA. Swiss-German definitely seems a bit harder as it sounds very French to me, and I'm not the best at pronouncing French words. I'm mainly learning just hochdeutsch right now.
you're right - after my parents died I realized how precious life and memories are - and I would like to die with more happy memories!!! and GOOD FOOD!
Perhaps you should spend time somewhere other than Switzerland. Ive lived there, wasn't all that in any way. I prefer freedom and warmth.
@Soul Empress thank you - its hard around the holidays -its my sons first xmas and I bought him some gifts my parents would have thought to gotten him - for instance - my father always bought my brother a holiday hess truck up until his 11th christmas... Also my father bought my brother tonka trucks - so I spent over 300 bucks on finding the original diecast trucks in good condition from the 80s for his first christmas. It's bittersweet
We shop at the recycling shed at our dump. It gives me great pleasure to clean something and make it like new again. We also find useful things for our friends and neighbors. It's an art to take good care of things, to treasure what little you may have, to be generous with your time and help support those that may be without.
My issue is that I tire of things quickly. So, what I do is buy things are cheaper,, simply for the change. I need to purchase things I really like and spend less for it. Even if is something I look at daily on the wall. I also now will go into a thrift shop and pick up a designer shirt, for practically nothing, get it home. wash it.. iron it,, and its new again. This has helped me,, even with pieces of Art on the wall,, I now do the same. This has really saved me from the spending. It is not trying to show anyone up,, it is mostly how quickly I tire of things. It really works, and helps a lot financially. Them switch items at those times,, back and forth, Thanks for the Video,, and,,,,, Happy Holidays to all..
Make a llist of things that do not cost money that would make you happy. Such as going for a walk, taking the kids to the playground, visiting a friend, admiring a sunset, etc. Fill your day with happy things that are free.
You really are a great woman. Thank you. This video is very useful and made me think about many things. I was materialistic, I still am actually and I try not to think about buying useless things anymore. When you accumulate so many items in the house it is not nice to see. Sometimes I just looked up the items I bought and ask myself: "But... do I really need these stuff?"
Is your room plain and white LOL
I was at Costco today and I saw an Instant Pot that was on sale. I’ve been wanting one for a while so I took one and put it in the cart but the whole time I was in the store I’m kind of skeptical if I should really need it or not. I really thought about it and decided that I don’t really need it so I put it back on the shelf. Now I’m home and I’m so glad I didn’t get it! I’m so proud of myself! I just saved $80 plus tax!😁
I just take a picture, with price tag on it, and when I get home I pay myself first . In a few months I total it up and it's like winning a small lottery. Stop making the rich man richer . Be the one in control ,don't just go buying everything because it's a sale.
You can buy one cheaper on ebay
I bought one 2 years ago on Black Friday and have only used it once so far. Now I feel I have to master it to justify the expense. I shouldn’t have bought on a whim and I have enough kitchen gadgets.
I love mine !! Use it more then my oven
There was such an advertising push that everyone thought they needed one so the advertising works! I think about the instant pot and it’s no different than the old pressure cooker and with today’s prices who can afford the amount of food you need to put in it? One appliance I do love and use all the time is my little air fryer. Not the round one but the one with trays in it. I use almost every day! I bought a used juicer and I used it the day I bought it. That’s all. There is so much waste pulp that I wasn’t going to use and it was a mess to clean up. Glad I didn’t pay much for it to sit on the shelf. Try buying a gently used one if you want to try out a new thing or borrow one from someone who has one. Maybe even try to set up a neighborhood collective where you can share these items that are often bought and yet end up sitting collecting dust. A lot of thrift store items haven’t been used much or are leftover stock etc so I would advocate trying there first, then pass it on!
Thank you so much for this video. I'm actually a university student studying abroad away from my home country. I almost had an addiction for basketball shoes. Whenever a new pair releases, I can't stop myself from buying, due to which I'm forced to skip meals sometimes, and for having a tight budget. Now I'm finally able to let it go and be happy with what I have.
Nice video, I agree with most of the points. However, I never say I couldn't afford something. This will never gets me of the hook... I believe the best advice is that if you want something just leave 24 hours before you buy it. These 24 hours will help you figure out if you really want it or if it is a moment thing. Other than that, investing in meaningful ways and not materialistic ways is something that I am still struggling however I believe I am getting there.
I loved how you opened the video up straight to the point I know so many people like this. I’m trying to get them to look at life with compassion... it’s hard with these folks. I love this word!
The video had some interesting points. Unfortunately, the emotional side of shopping was not addressed in this video, which I think affects a lot of people (at least in my entourage). I’ve had troubles binge shopping to fill an emotional void and only realised it quite a bit of money later. I’m trying to get better through advice and tips... It was helpful to hear in the video about investing time, energy and money in things that will change your life long-term (you mentioned meditating and such, although in my case it would be career progress).
I did this today. I love handbags and there was a basket of them for sale outside a charity shop. They were only £1 each but I knew they would only sit in the wardrobe. So I didn't buy them.
BALANCE IS EVERYTHING!!! THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING THE BEST FOR YOURSELF.
Thank you for saying this! I never connected the compassion component, but it makes so much sense. Of course buying reinforces how much discontent I feel with myself. I don’t let other people do that to me, so I absolutely shouldn’t let myself. Thank You!
My bank manager says he has clients with expensive cars who live in hovels. Car and clothes for appearance. I think that's heartbreaking.
Stop trying to impress people that don’t even care about you. Impress yourself with only what you can truly afford.
It really helped me when I observed other women in Zara and how hysterical they appeared to me with the clothes .! One or two of them were secretely looking at the clothes I was picking up and I thought how unhappy they must be !!! The same with people smoking after I gave it up once and for all ...people who smoke look so weak and miserable now .....
I’m about to buy an emporio armani watch , which don’t need at all. Just for the keepsake and for that” dopamine rush”!! I’m glad that I stopped by!! Thanks a lot Mel!!
Perfect timing for me to find this! I'm going to start saying those to myself. I'm way over my head materialisticly and need to back down and be happy with myself. Thanks!
It has taken me many years to realize this truth but thank God I have and my life is better and my finances are too!
This was a great message......and so timely for me right now......buying my very first home at age 57, and facing a the reality of financial limitations. Thank you.
Good video. Also, the more crap you buy the more room you need to store it. That in itself is reason enough to stop buying unnecessary things. I flat out refuse to buy ANYTHING I don't need. I donated stuff I had just sitting around the house taking up space and creating clutter. It felt sooooo good getting rid of those things. When you clear clutter in your house, you clear clutter in your mind!!!
I have no words to thank this lady. I need people like you in my life, honestly. Thank you
My spending habits changed when I got a new job that only paid me once a month
Hi Mel, just wanted to thank you, how you helped me with some of my bad habits and anxiety. That video on how to prepare before going on a flight to beat anxiety really helped me a lot. I always watched that video before I take my flights. Love from Philippines.
Also more like one of the values of Hinduism of detaching yourself to all your desires because they're the root of all struggles. True freedom is by freeing yourself to all your materialistic desires in life.
I learned a lot from this video. Thanks, Mel. 💝
Very timely. I needed to hear this. Thank you 🙏
I'm glad I could help!
Anna H Meee Toooo!
Very powerful message. Self compassion. 👍👍
This was such a lovely way to begin the day. We need to stop to forgive ourselves more often. Thank you x
I agree with you Mel.I have been frugal and smart most of my life ...and this past year I have ended all my buying errors.....I found one thing that helps big time...IF I NEED SOMETHING...something I really think I want....I'll go out of my way to find it far cheaper than the original style/kind/store......and it works...
Even going to sleep early, would be investing in you.
@Green Giant That's deep 💓
Make a list of all of the things that you do have. Find creative ways to make more use of them. For example, 7 tops x 7 bottoms = 49 outfits. Keep a handy list of outfits. One set of kitchenware may be sufficient. Two sets of towels and sheets may be sufficient. Take good care of everything you have to prevent from purchasing again.
Yes agree less and good
You're the best Mel Robbins. I love what you are all about!!❤
Thank you ma'am for this. I've always wanted to buy an expensive guitar, but it's way overpriced and I can't afford that. But I already have a guitar at home with all the stuffs that I can need. But still I can't shake off the mad urge. I'll try to use your method, and I believe that I can overcome this urge.
This is the video I wanted to watch so long time. I just canceled my orders from clothings that I don't need. Thanks Mel.
Good job!
Mel thank you for this video I could really relate I have a problem with over indulging in unnecessary materialistic objects that myself only cares about for a short period of time, like you and you’re new room that now you in a way don’t give a crap about. Thank you for sharing your own stories I really was able to relate in contrast and it has opened my eyes to my oft dumb instances of impulsive spending.
Why videos like these have not gone viral ? I'm Surprised!
Love you Mel
A man who has enough is rich.
- Mell Gipson
literally gold mine. Every 20 year old should listen to this instead of wasting time on TIKTOK.
This is great! Thanks for creating this 🙂
I want to be a minimalist keep trying, but I always end up getting the urge to buy something new, even when I know that feeling fades. I need to stop. It is not because I need to buy things to impress or get the latest upgrade of something. I think it is because I get bored with what I currently have. More videos on this please.
the key is to become a minimalist
Very powerful!!! I go back to this video many times, and each time I learn something... Thank you 😊
I may watch this once or twice a day! Awesome advice and I find myself there all too often.
I finally know I'm not going insane. Yes, I do have OCD, but buying things, like you said, makes me happy. I don't "need" them, I want them and do nothing with them. I believe this plan will work for me. ( At least I'm going to try it). Thank you for being an inspiration!!
thank you so much for this, I was having a problem of starting to become a sneaker head and I can stop all those craps rn after seeing this!
5 years ago minimalism changed all my view on material, comparisons to others and the rat race. I will never go back!
We are really into out doors here in Arizona,we replace as many costly vacation trips with airfare,car rentals,eating out ect..with camping.joing an inexpensive prospecting club offers lots of nice areas and some exercise 😁
Thank you so much for this.
LMAO this woman with the latest iPhone at the time and an apple watch is preaching to us how to not spend money on crap you don't need. This is just too good.
maybe she makes more money and the iPhone is just a fraction of her income
Years ago, I started this method to stop impulse buys: don’t buy it now, but allow myself to go back and buy it later. 95% of the time, I’ve forgotten about it by the time I got home. If I keep thinking “I wish I’d bought that thing”, then I can go back, and if it’s still there, get it. But it rarely gets to that point. And if the item isn’t there any more, so be it, it wasn’t meant to be.
+Mel Robbins - here's another good reason you didn't need a bigger room. How much time do you truly spend in that room and how much of that time are you actually conscious. Do you really need more room if you only use approximately 7 ft X 7ft of the space in it (your bed).
iz Zz we remodeled our home and yep we did a bigger bedroom. Vaulted ceilings and 2 bathrooms, sitting room walk in closets. Only thing is we love it and relax here often. 😏👩💻
@@alb9022 Get rid of the junk and the room will be bigger.
Oh, come on! 🙄 Soemtimes buying/having some things make us really happy 😃 this is also a way of showing empathy for yourself. If one feels that it hurts not having something, then having it makes this feeling go away 😎 I have things in my closet that make me happy any time I wear them, for years! It is just important to use some limits and choose wisely in the buying process. That’s all. 😘
Please talk more in detail about self compassion and how to internalize it. Thanks Mel:):)
Such wisdom. I am so grateful for you and your videos. Thank you Mel Robbins!!
When I shop, mostly at thrift stores, I pick up an item and carry it around with me while I shop and ponder it. I say “impress me”, “convince me I need this item”. Often I leave the store with nothing and I put back the item. Sometimes I do pick up an item I do end up buying and put back the thing I was carrying around! My thrift store store purchases are often one item but I have an idea when I go in what I’m looking for that day. Since the pandemic I found I’ve shopped very little but I’ve also saved a lot! I’m proud of myself for what I’ve been able to accomplish in this area of shopping. Stay out of the malls and big box stores. Shop thrifty!
I stopped buying all products sold by Mel Robbins and I'm saving a bundle!!!
I agree with you Mel, i think most people fit in one of two camps. They either buy every little thing that they want (most of it not improving long term happiness), or they never buy anything that they would want. This includes things that would be very valuable to their lives. Too cheap vs not disciplined. Life is all about balance, you just have to know your balance.
Tackling materialism is definitely something to pursue and Mrs Robinson is certainly a great speaker though I'm not sure I agree with some of the dialogue chosen. I didn't agree with the idea of "forgiving yourself" for not being about to have the room you wanted or the car you saw at the light, etc. If you feel the need to forgive yourself this implies you are at a fault for not owning these things. Rather, I think it would be more productive maybe to ask how do the things I own/want serve me. I don't see how asking myself how do the things I own/want make me feel being productive. That just seems to be an excuse to buy more because our feelings change, rather often. So what we desire today will be worthless to our eyes tomorrow. What we feel today will change. So I wonder if, instead of forgiving yourself for your room being to small; perhaps the better thought would be to ask what is the purpose of that room and does it serve that purpose. I have found when I consider material possessions in that manner I'm more likely to appreciate what I have and less likely to feel a need to buy more. None the less, great video about a very important topic to discuss.
Wow 😮 that’s so true we do need to have compassion for ourselves for where we are at. ❤️ this video. Just found you on RUclips and definitely subscribed this is good stuff.
Gonna send this to my mother, she keeps buying trash for herself and our house is already tiny, makes me claustrophobic. Told her that and she's like "I work hard for this family" "this is how i relieve stress" etc etc, it's really annoying.
I admit I’m very materialistic & Im totally listening..! I have more handbags then I could ever use and I still keep buying more.. But I started reselling the ones I’m no longer using.. But I want a lot more minimal life style.. FABULOUS Video gorgeous 😘 I totally liked and subscribed..❤️😘 I will be using your 5-4-3-2-1- DONT buy it. Cos your right I want a certain Chanel bag or lv bag soo badly and I’m putting way to much energy into these items that do bring me happiness. But it’s very short lived happiness like you’ve mentioned.. I do exercise a lot though. Great video
I think my biggest financial problem is I grew up poor asf so now that I make my own money I don’t know how to budget. I’m always gonna spend the extra penny for quality cause I can and I hate the feeling of being limited on what I can do bc of a price tag
thank you for this video.... very interesting. I find my self buying because i need more happiness in my life, as my job is not so ok, fortunately i have a lovely husband and my grown up kids and of course my dogs. I will try not to spend so much money in stuff i don't need. Another thing i want to do is to try not to purchase to much food..... thank you Mel, kind regards from Switzerland!!!
My New Year’s resolution for 2019 is to stop impulse buying. This is really going to help. Thank you.
I absolutely LOVE this video. If people spend their money on pleasant experiences and especially self mind/body. They would help themselves and everyone else in long term as they would be much healthier for longer.
Thank you so much. I'm currently 12 years old and I can't stop buying things I dont need. I never want people to give me money for Christmas again.
Hi Mel I just found your channel and I love the videos you are creating to help us. When I feel I am buying stuff that I don't need, it's usually to cover up an inner insecurity or emotional need. I have enjoyed living a Minimalist lifestyle and haven't looked back! Just liked and subbed. Looking forward to trying the 5 second rule today
This is what I've been trying to tell my wife too. Until she gets her own job, does she NEED the shampoo and condition for 30$ each?, does she NEED a new MK purse when she already got 4?, does she NEED to order a 10$ sandwich every time we visit a coffee shop? etc.. A small thing here and a small thing there becomes a lot of money in the end. It's time to sell some stuff we're not using and also start saving some money. If we added all the McDonalds, starbucks, unnecessary supermarket visits etc expenses through a whole year it's a lot of money.
Oh btw, I'm in europe/Norway so things are probably more expensive than in USA. One need to adapt the mindset of: Does what other people think of us really matter? It's better to be our genuine selves than putting on a fasade and play rich when in reality we're middle class at best. To afford something means to be able to buy it WITHOUT suffering after.
Yes-you hit the nail on the head & all of those things take just as much $$ out of our American pockets! I feel for you because your wife is trying to fill a void inside/in her life; if she were honest she would prob admit that she doesn't even care about the item all that much. She wants to feel important by appearing that way to others (which is low self-esteem) and she isn't being a team player by hurting your shared bottom line. I would create a budget & ask her to get a job to buy the extraneous items (a 4th purse she already has.) Best to you.
As a man. I got 2 par of shoes, enough t-shirts, 3 pair of jeans and one bag (which is probably closer to 10 years old) and she goes: "I got nothing to wear. I need a new birthday dress"! New? she doesn't even have space for all of her damn dresses.
MrQuagmire26 she’s the one without the job so why continue to take her to coffee shops or order the MK purses. Simply just give her a budget for necessities and when the money is done, the fun is done. Too easy!
She doesn't work though?... you are too soft or too good to her!
I do not let myself buy things on impulse. I find I have forgotten about most things by the time I get home. If not, I can reflect on if I need it & where it will go. I don't want to waste the money or give myself something else that sooner or later I will have to get rid of, having cleared my home of clutter I don't want to fill it up again.
Love love this video! Thank you so so much Mel for the amazing content!💗
Thank you for this video. It really helped me, with not being crap.
Its a compulsive addiction which grows every time you feed it with another purchase. I had this problem as well. Its a search for happiness but that feeling of fulfillment fades after mere minutes. Its a philosophy we are brainwashed with from children. Luckily now for the most part I can look at an item and think of how it will mean nothing to me a short time after purchasing it. I still do give myself a tiny budget to spend because I'm only human but luckily its not a problem anymore.
Thanks a lot Mel! you made me realize what really matters in life.
Very good advice and so true. The remind yourself it's all you could/can afford is good idea.
I see additional problem maybe, I see others buying things I don't see as necessary but they do it for their well being , others often try getting me to buy things like new clothes, food(I don't mean the basics) and when I don't will say 'you never do, I think you can allow yourself this' ..then times when I have actually gone to buy something that I see more as long term investment like a DIY tool or things for my pets I get ' are you sure you really need that'
I have the problem of not understanding exactly what is a necessity and what isn't. I read a poverty list once and it had a pair of heels on their as a necessity, that made me laugh and eye roll that they could be considered a necessity seen as I have recurring old injury that prevents me wearing them, I can't think of a situation where heels would be a necessity. But then it said things like two pairs of trousers(one professional one for casual) and I thought really? Just two pairs, that seems counter productive to me because then you'd be needing to wash your clothes more often which costs money, they'd also wear out pretty quick, what if you got a rip or stain one the professional ones and had to wear joggers for it I mean come on...
I do this thing now where, if I’m not willing to throw away the thing I’m replacing, it’s not worth it.
I tell myself that I could buy a book or that thing I want, and the book will probably bring me more happiness.
Another thing is, if I’m not willing to take care of it for the foreseeable future, I don’t need it.
And also spending money on good items so they stick around.
Subbed for your common sense! I am aware of two women that are in a terrible predicament, financially and emotionally bankrupt because of materialism! They spent their huge salaries on designer purses, cruises, travel, expensive meals,concerts, false friends, etc., without restraint and no investments who now are dependent upon their children who are supporting their own needs and young families. I am saddened but neither would listen! Foolishness! Thanks for sharing because some of us will listen and take heed! ♨️♨️♨️
I also know of the same type of people. They are also constantly trying to get a good deal or cheat out of what you deserve when you work for them.
I wasn't materialistic up to the point I started buying cameras and camera gear, then my finances got out of control, I was obsessed. While at the same time I was failing making any money with photography, I was just obsessed. I regret it a lot, got indebted, sold my gear, got it together... But I still feel a very strong impulse in buying cameras and camera gear that I have to fight against. It's crazy, I never cared about cars, I have a basic computer, a little motorcycle, a cheap cellphone.. But when I comes to cameras I have no limit, I see reviews and I get obsessed. I even stopped watching reviews at all and I got out from every photography community I was in to get away from it.
Thank you for this!
Omg hi!!
is this why some women window shop? i never got that idea.. when I truly was satisfied.. and my soul was satisfied in the only source of joy that is true (and eternal) - because everything else is temporal. This video was a prayer answered. thank you Mel!confirmation. :) One of the things is to thank God for what you have- but not go overboard because there's a true need that happens.. like when I go into a shop - I may feel a tug to get something.. that I really want. like a mop - then I will think but I don't NEED It. but God knows I will actually be more productive with that style of mop than the one that doesn't belong to me - lots of little things like that- got to pay attention think about each purchase but be ready to jump when it's intuition (like cutlery, for a new house). etc.
Is very difficult to change😞
I didn't know how much I needed this until right now.
I practice delayed gratification for everything, from phones to cars to furniture. I tell myself I can buy that item later, when my old one wears out, such as the time I wanted an iPhone but waited as long as possible. I didn’t want to pay the high price. So I waited until the X came out and bought an iPhone 8. This method does save me money and teaches me I don’t have to have everything I want. Sometimes I don’t end up buying the item at all.
There’s one day gonna be a lot of things in this world that you want but don’t need and a lot of things that you need that you don’t want-Best to stick to the needs first and just save your money(Food , Clothing and Shelter are the needs)
Love this video, it should defiantly get more recognition
such a smart woman :D thank you for the advice felt like i needed to hear someone say that outloud
I know this may sound strange and it's good advice for sure. However I feel like there is something to avoid when showing compassion to yourself and that is to use it an excuse to be lazy and or not do anything.
thank you