Yeah, Jolene got herself in this mess. She put the company at risk because she was selfish and wanted to continue to abuse her disabled status. Like op said, not all disabilities are obvious but they still need accommodation.
Dropping the ADA bomb will get anyone's attention. I had my medical marijuana card and told the college I went to (a smoking camps at the time), that if I wasn't granted access to smoking areas that I would report them to the ADA. It made this security guard so mad because he couldn't get me kicked off campus. For reference, I have deformities in my hips and spine. Hauling around campus was tough without pain relief and taking narcotics wasn't an option since I needed to pay attention in class.
That's not necessarily true. Being ostracized can make people bitter and self-serving as a survival tactic. It doesn't justify her spreading the cruelty and exclusion tho.
A pos is going to be a pos no matter what life throws at them. Jolene is a perfect example of that. OP has been disabled their whole life and treats others with respect and kindness, just because they aren't in a wheelchair doesn't mean they are any less disabled than Joelen. He's the example that you can still be kind and respectful of others around you even if life has thrown some big challenges your way. Mood swings are one thing, but purposely getting other people fired because she just wants to be a giant bully just means she's a c.u.n.t with or without the wheelchair.
I have a family member in a group home and it's been the best thing for him. He has a firm structured schedule that keeps him at ease since he knows what will be happening everyday. He went from being violent and unstable to loving his new life and friends.
The bag they have to use holds a lot. It smells quite a loot when it needs to be emptied...those with these bags need and deserve as much privacy as they can get emptying the bag.
I’m actually incredibly concerned about Terry; if his parents are willing to just drop him on someone’s doorstep (even if that someone is their unwilling child) whenever they’re busy or “need a break” then what else is happening to him?
If she divorced him she should have to give the ring back. But because he died she should not. That ring would have been hers forever. Or for the rest of their lives. What is wrong with people???
@tlbjmb1996 I think you might have responded to the wrong comment. The Terry story is about the parents abandoning their disabled son with their other child. There's no mention of a ring.
Even if the parents were more responsible its pretty clear from her description that the best thing for him would be a group home, where he could have some social interaction and assistance from people that are professionally trained. Its crazy how people feel guilty about putting him in a home that is designed to meet his needs but not dumping him on his sister who is not able to take care of him,
As a mother of two adult autistic sons, I can say wholeheartedly that Terry’s parents are absolute assholes!!!! I get overwhelmed with my boys sometimes too, I understand the frustration, but I would never just ditch them with their sibling!! Watching Terry here and there is fine, IF SHE AGREED TO DO IT. But for the parents to just straight up ditch him on her doorstep repeatedly?!?!? I would have called services too. That’s neglect. That’s abandonment. She’s not his parent and he is not her responsibility. Terry’s already the victim here, he’s caught in the middle of it all. His parents suck.
As also having a child with both Autism, and very similar symptoms as the "AITA" I somewhat agree with your views....HOWEVER, we don't know the WHOLE situation and society has increasingly become more selfish/self-centered, and less about a supportive family. In my POV.
@@nativegirl8186I would politely disagree. There is no reason, regardless of the situation for the parents to dump their disabled child on OP. Op is an adult with a life of their own. There are programs out there to help them with taking care of their son if his needs are beyond their ability to meet. This is coming from a person who used to work with people in op’s brother’s situation.
Being autistic, I can say if my parents abandoned ME on a porch to have someone watch me, I would say I would HOPE whoever they left me with would call protective services. Caretaker neglect and abuse is a terrible thing, and based on the frequency and violence of the meltdowns I fear for Terry. Meltdowns are famously worse in unstable environments (not to say there can’t be bad meltdowns without abuse and neglect, but rather to say that seeing meltdowns that devolve into aggression when there’s already signs of neglect is a big red flag)
She has zero reason to look after him if she doesn’t want to. I have a scary disabled large brother. My parents know that they better not drop his ass off with me. He lived with my parents until they were in their early eighties and stays in a nursing home. He is better off because he gets more consistent qualified care and has more socialization than only seeing two eight year olds all the time as he rarely left the house. At the nursing home he has other patients, staff, not to mention all the activities and parties they have all the time.
I feel like it’s incredibly heartless of the fiancé’s family to be demanding the ring back so soon after his death… while I do think that it would be the right thing to give it back eventually, I think OP should at least get the chance to mourn with it. Asking for the ring back at the FUNERAL is such a vulture thing to do
It was incredibly insensitive on their part. And if her fiance was alive, Jim wouldn't be proposing with that ring because OP and her spouse would've been married and she would be wearing it. On the other hand... Her fiance is dead, they have no kids, so that ring would remain with someone who's not family anymore. If he was alive and they had kids, that ring would be given to their kids as it was a family tradition. It would be EXTREMELY unfair for her to keep it. It has to be extremely hard, but it's not right for her to keep it.
Its totally a vulture move. Also, if all the dead fiancé's stuff was left to her in his will, then that's it. Its her ring now. But... if he didn't have a will... and she wasn't married... then its down to a court to decide what the deceased intended.
I think it’s confusing because she’s just lost her whole future in one day, it makes me think if she had married him and started a family she wouldn’t have been asked to do this… or would she? I think they might gift her a thoughtful piece of jewellery to be a memory of him. It’s weird that they let her pay for the whole funeral on her own ? So he just can’t be bothered saving . 😢 so sorry for her loss
@@iulia.bianca.bI disagree with you. It would be wrong for her to keep it IF the family wanted an heirloom back. Thats not why they want it back. They want to be selfish. I would keep the ring. I would give it back 100% if they 1. didn't ask at the FUNERAL and 2. didn't want it for selfish reasons.
For the lady that fired her babysitter, WTH? You didn’t tell her that there was alcohol in the fridge forgetting that she likes seltzers. She told you she wasn’t feeling well multiple times, she’s also 16, she hadn’t had alcohol before and didn’t know what it tastes like. That’s an evil move for one accident, at 18 sometimes I mix up the alcoholic drinks in the fridge because normally there aren’t any, and with my medical condition I need extra sugar. What a jerk
Dude I'm pregnant and I accidentally grabbed an alcoholic beverage because it was orange on top (I could only see the tops of the cans because they were in a refrigerated drawer) and I thought it was going to be orange soda since there were a few orange sodas in there that I had been drinking. I took a sip then looked down like oh that tastes like.. tea? Alcoholic tea 😅 I handed it to my friend and found a soda 😂
A baby will make a healthy relationship stronger and ruin an already fragile/unhealthy one. Babies aren’t all cuddles and love. They’re stressful and difficult
Second story. I disagree it is a clear cut situation. Op handled the situation the best she could. Her parents forced her hand. She set a reasonable boundary, and when it was repeatedly violated she gave a fair warning of what she would do and she followed through. Its sad that her brother was caught in the middle but that wasn't her fault nor was there a better way to handle the situation.
Never ignore a lawsuit you a served. Most likely she can file something with the court stating it's a frivolous suit and ask the judge to throw it out.
The thing that's really messed up about the babysitter is that she had to walk home drunk, while 15 and not really understanding what was going on. If she didn't live close by, she could've been in real danger. It would've been so much worse if was during the summer time too. Poor kid 😕
hi paraplegic wheelchair user here, I have extreme bathroom anxiety bc I had a lot of issues in high school w people skipping class in the handicap stall. I never pull the handicap card when it comes to the bathroom or to people. If someone is actually using the toilet, then I can usually wait a few, I get it. The only time I pull the disabled card is if I’m a little late or more tired than usual. As my late grandpa often said, “shit happens.”
- not all disabilities are visible - not all wheelchair users are paralyzed - chairs are custom so ppl aren’t “taking resources” - ask before pushing, don’t touch me or my chair, it’s an extension of myself. Would you help someone going up the stairs by touching their shoulders ? I can go on and on. Please be kind to everyone, you dont know what they’re handling it’s free and feels good to be nice. Thank you.
With the ring one... I do understand having an ancient family heirloom designed to be passed down through liniage be given to someone who will... have the liniage to pass the ring down to, and tragically that wouldn't be Jake. I DO understand that Jake gave that to his fiancée as a symbol of their union forever. If Jim WASN'T being a mega simp for Stacy (which I suspect he might be, given that it seems he wants it not for spiritual reasons but for Stacy's taste in jewelry) then he should have waited an appropiate amount of time and posed the solution "Please keep the ring, we know how much it means to you and Jake, All I ask is that years in the future, when the time comes, if you'd consider passing it down to Jake's Nieces or Nephews, just to keep it in our Grandma's liniage since it's such an important family heirloom." But he probably wanted to just get Stacy off his back. There were ways to go about this.
EXACTLY you nailed in on the head. If they wanted it back for family reasons of COURSE you should give it back. I don't think they actually care about the history of the ring. Id keep the ring.
I would give the ring to Jim and Stacey's first child. That way it's still in their family, but teaches Stacey a lesson not to be such a rude grasping bi-ach, but that's just me!
@@bethboo1902 Well, I can think of another time OP may want to give it back, if she ever gets engaged again. Would be a wee bit awkward to keep the ring after that, probably a good time to give it back.
54:35 It was a mess and super traumatic. I was around 6 years old. I was at my best friend's house. Her grandma was looking after us. She poured us some juice she made, it was some kind of early stages alcoholic drink (grape juice) that wasn't supposed to have alcohol yet. She poured me, my best friend and her brother a cup each. My friend took some sips, her brother barely touched it. They didn't like the taste. So I drank mine, hers (about half a cup), and her brother's. I wasn't feeling so well, so I went home. She lived on the second floor, so I grabbed that railing super hard going downstairs. I was stumbling. Entered my home and my mom immediately noticed I wasn't feeling well. She asked me what happened and I told her I was in their kitchen drinking some juice and started feeling really bad. She must've put two and two together. She prepared a nice bath for me. I still to this day remember that bathtub spinning like I was in a rollercoaster, but it sobered me up quite nicely. I don't know how my mother handled it after, but I can tell you she must've been quite pissed...
I get chronic massive ovarian cysts, and while I don’t qualify for diabilty or really claim the term disabled (because it’s for about a week a month. 3/4 of the time I’m able bodied) I need that auxiliary bar in the handicap stalls when a cyst is rupturing. I cannot stand myself up without it. If someone told me not to use it I’d probably resort to violence.
Lou Ferigno has something that qualifies him as disabled, or at least I know he has a handicap plaque I don't entirely know how those two differ, but occasionally losing the ability to stand unassisted doesn't count?! shit that sucks ASS!
People are always great judging others ( for not wanting to take care of somebody aka disabled brother or unborn child). But they don’t want to deal with it either.
Op should will the heirloom ring to the brother's future child. That way she can keep the ring and return it to the family line later without caving to the pressure of the family. Also she can always change her mind later when she's no longer grieving or meets someone new and just needs to move on.
Err, in most countries they would likely get half as that's usually neutral, which is why parent's give at least something to the estranged kid. OP changing their mind and still not doing the right thing is honestly AHolish. The right thing is both good/neutral, OP didn't do it in the end. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Doesn't matter that the sister is an AH. BTW the elitist language in why the sister couldn't sue was sickening, automatically makes OP the AH in the end (can't believe she put that down).
@@jboy804 But OP wasn't the one choosing to get 100% of the inheritence. The parents did, they're the Aholes. I wouldn't want to give money to someone who aggressively tries to take my money either. They at least need to be thankful for what they get, which the sister wasn't, she felt entitled to get 100%. In the latest update she ended up giving half the inheritence btw.
People see me and think I'm perfectly fine. However, after MVAs and Surgery gone wrong I have to use disabled restrooms. I've had someone get in my face and threaten me for using the restroom. 😂
On the subject of the heirloom ring: she should just tell them she will pass the ring on to a member of their family when she is good and ready, but likely skipping Jim’s generation because of the incredible insensitivity they have shown her. Win/win!
Actually pretty good, does eventually go back, karma restored. Another time, which would be likely sooner, would be if she gets married to someone. Would be a bit awkward to keep the ring of your dead fiancé when you get another engagement ring. Then would be a definitely good time to give it up.
I honestly would check any cousins or other people from the family that not Jim and send to them a few years down the line without notifying her former in-laws altogether
One night my boyfriend and I went out to ride our motorcycles. I was in the lead and had to keep slowing down so that he could catch up. In the meantime he thought he was too close and kept slowing down. (He wasn't even in my review mirror) We eventually pulled over into a parking lot. I asked him what was going on. He said that he felt weird. I thought he was having a stroke so I told him to lift his arms. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. We went a little further to a gas station where he remembered that he had taken a CBD gummy right before riding. He then came to the realization that it was more than CBD and he was high AF. 😂
I use the handicap bathroom at work when the store is closed and I'm literally the only person allowed in the store. For reference, we have 2 handicap bathroom stalls so there's always another one someone could use if needed. I LOVE the "not all disabilities are obvious" because seriously just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there.
As someone with invisible disabilities, I cheered a bit. Not for the lady in general, but against everyone who's ever gone sanctimonious on me for needing disability access/ accommodations.
I've had a service dog for 7 years, and I didn't realize that most of the time, the toilets in the other stalls are WAY lower down. One of my elderly co-workers told me she had to use that stall because of how low the toilets were, and how it was hard on her knees to get up and down from them. After she brought it up to me, I tried to sit in one of the normal stalls and wtf, why are they SOOO far down. I get around quite well and am small, so who tf are these ultra low toilets for? A little child small enough to have to use one would be too small to use it on their own and the parent would have to take them in the disability stall with the regular size toilet anyway.
@@itskashkashiYeah, I've gotten some lectures from other disabled people about how a young obviously able bodied woman shouldn't be taking the stall. All 3 times it's happened, their faces were priceless when I pushed past them and my 95 lb service dog walks out right behind me. (I always go through doors first when I can, so that people on the other side don't get spooked by an unexpected massive black dog or try to pet/distract him.)
Calling Adult protective services was the wise decision. And putting him in service is probably what is best for Terry. These parents are clearly neglecting him. The services exist for a reason.
If the mom getting sued has a court date, she DEFINITELY needs to show up with the ring camera footage, with the bus driver, and her husband as character witnesses to testify about her neurotic behavior. That way the crazy neighbor lady can't win the case by default.
There's no way the crazy neighbor could win by default. The only way cases get won by default like that is if the ACCUSING party doesn't show up - the one who filed the case - not if the defendant doesn't show up. That's how defendants can ignore things and they go away: either the other side doesn't show, or the other side has a frivolous or meritless case. They don't have to prove their innocence, the opposition has to prove guilt. Then once they're in court they would lose because they would have to prove that they could not work ANY job, or they lost the job they had due to the defendant's actions. And to win damages for emotional distress (which is extremely rare), they would again have to prove a LOSS of money. They have to prove the distress is lasting, not fleeting, and that it is medically significant. They don't just get bonus money for being upset, they'd have to prove they were so upset that they lost their job or couldn't work, or they had to pay for therapy specifically because of this and the therapy was medically necessary, etc. She just has no case at all. 😂
@@tubblebub I'm glad! I don't want that crazy woman to win. But you know every state has different laws, and every state (unfortunately) has judges on the bench who are either incompetent, burnt out from being a judge, or just plain biased for a myriad of reasons(despite the fact that they swear to be unbiased and fair). Thank you for the legality lesson. I worked as a paralegal for a VERY brief time, and depending on the type of law, court proceedings vary. I've never been in, or worked at a small claims court. 👍😺
Wait, why is the young wife entitled to what is legally hers yet the sister was an ahole for not giving her entitled-acting selfish sister half of what was legally hers? She offered half when she owed none; and they aggressively demanded all, tried to disparage her publicly, and diminished her childhood experience with the trauma one-upping.
Because the assholes are still getting what they are entitled to in the one with the wife they just asked for more and she now saying no. In the sister one she is not legally but technically entitled to half but since she being an asshole she's getting none. So it's none vs some I guess. I don't think the sister is necessarily an asshole but I do think she may regret it later. Maybe not, we don't know enough.
@@ellielou52 The other sister wasn't entitled to anything. She had no relationship with her parents and the parents chose to give her nothing. If she wanted something she should have repaired her relationship with her parents while they were alive. At some point you have to grow up and decide to accept your parents as they are or walk away. I walked away because the abuse was so bad. I want absolutely nothing from any one. Inheritance is probably the worst thing on this planet and it really brings the worst out of families.
The line itself: because they have no money to be able to sue. It is so elitist it saps any hope they are not the AH. Yes, the sister was being an AH but I understand somewhat their mental anguish. People going through that can act quite off, the important part would be if when they cooled down they come to accept the half and apologize. They seem to have, then OP took it all. BTW giving them half wasn't a good thing to do, it was the right thing AKA a thing OP should still do for what the parents disgustingly did. So OP not doing the right thing makes her the AH now. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Doesn't matter that the sister is an AH. Also, again the blatant elitism, I can't believe OP put that down. That was so disgusting that made me recoil. That makes OP extra vile :/
@@jboy804nah fuck ‘em. You lose all the money once you harass the person who offered half when you weren’t even privy to the inheritance. They sound like they’re gonna be horrible parents. They’re certainly elitist for feeling entitled to the full amount. Be for real
The thing with family heirlooms is that once you pass it down it belongs to the person you pass it to and would then likely go to their children. In an ideal situation the ring would end up going to op and her late fiancés potential future children. Even though that is no longer a possibility the ring still belongs to op. The ring was passed to her and her fiancé. It is crazy to expect her to pass it to someone she does not want to.
Oh, the disabled bathroom thing. I think it's definitely a matter of "if there are a lot of people and it's the only stall available, then it's open so long as it's reserved should someone who needs it show up." If you're in there and you have an invisible disability, then you really have no need to justify that to anyone. If you're in there and you don't have a disability or reason to be in there, then try to only be in there when you can't use a regular stall just to be on the safe side.
I saw the horror of alcohol from my own parents and also have PTSD of alcohol as well as screaming and fighting. The smell makes me sick as well so I don’t touch the stuff.
@46:39 I think it would only be fair if she kept the ring until one of her ex-fiance's potential nieces or nephews got engaged to pass on to. If none of them do ever get engaged/married, there would be no point of a family heirloom to continue with anyway. This honors her husband, his grandmother, and the idea of passing down an heirloom within his family.
54:00 OP is clearly the asshole! It honestly seems to me like OP was looking for a reason to fire her babysitter and just jumped on the first thing that came up...
My area has so many creepy guys and I have been followed home several times. Once I had a 70yr old neighbor break into my house when I was 16 anf home alone. He used to follow me to school driving around the block several times, hed peek into my bedroom window when he parked his RV and grabbed my upper thigh once. I wasn't taken seriously when I told my parents 😑 So anyway I came home from school early one day and was watching cartoons, I kept hearing the wood door squeek but thought meh thats the wind... WELL then the screen door opened ⁉️ and there's no way thats wind. I run to the door and 70yr is in my entryway. I yelled at him which shocked him. I was a very shy child and I think he thought I would be a quiet victim, I had never lashed out before this but alarm bells were ringing in my head I knew I was in danger. I was being really loud and rushing him. he kept asking where my mom was and I said she was sleeping, I knew I wasn't very convincing but he was weary enough that he started backing away. He kept trying to persuade me to get my mom/wake her up but I refused. I said " WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" And getting got increasingly aggressive, he was still in the doorway but got really anxious and started looking around to see if anyone was watching. Apparantly it was imperative my mother knew he mowed the lawn. My parents weren't close with him just neighborly so he had no reason to be in my house. I said "K 😡" and rushed him out the door slamming it on his hand. I told my mom about it and he was never allowed on our property again. My dad put a trip wire next to the windows and said he heard someone cry out after falling. My parents never ended up catching him but they started to hear other neighbors complain that him AND his wife had been seen peeping in windows. My sister later came out saying his wife had also been incredibly creepy to her and that she also saw him peek into our bedroom window.
Im someone with a mostly invisible disability (Some days are worse than others). Many people in wheelchairs can still be very, very ableist as they get used to disabled spaces/bathrooms being specifically as "Just for people like them" and can be quite hostile to someone like me whose disability isn't as obvious. And it be quite daunting to speak to them about it, because they tend to pull the oppression Olympics if anyone questions their behavior. You ask what disabilities are entitled to disabled toilets? In my experience and in my country, anyone with their physical (and some specifical mental disabiltiies) extra needs that are in paperwork from a doctor, are entitled to use the bathroom or other disabled services. Some people can't stand for long periods of time, some people shake a lot and need the extra room in the bathroom (As you put it, the King Sized Toilets lol) You can be a part of any community and still be oppressive or hostile to those in it. Always try to remember you have no idea what a stranger is going through, so do not judge someone without asking.
The thing that bugs me about the heirloom ring is that it sounds like the brother's gf was eyeing the ring and making comments before OP's fiance died. Not only is it tasteless, it stinks of "so now that he's dead and you can't get me something equal or better, get me the original", and not a "hey, I know it hurts, but it's been in our family for generations and while we see your pain it is important to us as well and perhaps in a year/set reasonable period/or upon engagement to another person it comes back to our family to be passed down to the next generation". Heck, I don't know if I'd be comfortable if my bf wanted to take the ring his barely buried brother used to propose to his grieving fiance and use it for me.
Re: Family Heirloom Ring. OP should keep it until she passes and upon her death “will” it back to her fiancé’s family. This way, she can have the ring for her lifetime (as her fiancé intended, and would have wanted) and his family would inherit it upon her death, allowing them to continue to pass it on to a new generation.
For the babysitter story, how is the 16 year old there from 9-7 every day? Wouldn’t a teenager have school? Can’t imagine how you could even be homeschooled with that schedule (if the only day she doesn’t work is Sunday)… I mean dang, that’s more than full time employment. You’d have to claim her on your taxes. Lol
@@iulia.bianca.b I thought they said Mon-Saturday! Either way, those are still long hours I don’t see how that works with a 16 year old (and taxes) lol
The parents responsible ones, not the child, and now that she’s an adult it was their decision to have a child. It was their decision to take care of him. They could’ve reached out for social services to supplement the needs which are available in most states.
I hope Mary sued OP. Life insurance is intended to support your family after losing your income. Not to financially support your unmotivated brother. Hopefully she can get with HR at his work and prove he hasn't changed his beneficiary since before he got married.
Oh yeah, Mary would absolutely win in a lawsuit. It's very stupidly common not to update will's and such. Very much a headache. BUT it is very much assumed to be an ooopsie in these kind of cases. OP will lose if she goes after him. Clearly, she was giving him an out. A lawsuit will likely giver her most if not all. If this went to the jury, this would be a slam dunk for the grieving widow with KIDS.
The one about the dead brother and the other brother taking all his money, the other brother is 100% the asshole. First off, the dead brother has twins that now will be left with nothing, in favour of the other brother’s kids, that if he can’t support, he shouldn’t have them. Other brother’s kids don’t even exist, and may never exist, and he sees his dead brother as a cash cow. No other way to look at it.
I generally don't use the disabled bathroom/stall unless I'm either using my crutches (the regular stalls tend to be way too small to use comfortably) or if I'm having a flare up and need additional help with mobility because then I can use the metal bars and not fall on the floor lol
I frequently use the handicap stall when I'm with my small children for a few reasons. That's usually where the changing table is. Also, have you ever tried to fit 2-4 kids and an 1 adult in the tiny stall? If there is a family restroom I'll use that instead, but most places don't have that. Handicap restroom toilets are also usually shorter, so it's easier for the kids. If I'm by myself I use the regular stalls.
The inheritance thingy, OP is not the AH even after deciding to give her nothing. You can’t treat people like shit and still expect them to be nice to you. She is not entitled to that money, she was when it was still her parents but it now belongs to her sister. In my country, you can’t cut someone out of your inheritance completely, you can cut them down but your children will still get a minimum 50% of the inheritance, 25% each if there are two kids etc.
There's a good reason why. BTW the right thing to do would be to give the money, thus your an AH no matter what if you don't. It's not net neutral just because the other person is an AH. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Which makes the OP an AH automatically, don't perpetuate the evil for your parents. BTW the elitist language of OP literally stating that the sister can't sue b/c she has no money is disgusting. This automatically makes her an AH, she knows she would lose half the inheritance if they had the money, I literally can't believe they typed that.
I won't lie, I used to use the disabled bathrooms when I was a kid without knowing. I liked them because the toilets were lower, so I could actually reach them.
I'm really curious as to where you grew up. Here where I live, the disabled bathrooms have normal toilets, and sometimes the other stalls have very short little toilets. (Sometimes all the toilets are the same too) I have a service dog, so I've used the bigger stalls for 7 years, and when one of my older co-workers told me it was hard for her to use the non disabled bathrooms because of how low down the toilets were I was confused. After she said it, I checked myself and since have noticed that they tend to be much much lower. I have no idea why, and it seems extremely dumb. Someone told me it was so that small children could use them, but I am a couple inches taller than my 8yo niece and she's been able to use the regular sized toilet in their house since potty training. If a child was small enough to need a short toilet, It would probably be too small to use a stall on their own without a parent. Now saying your comment, I'm even more confused. Lower down toilets would suck for a lot of disabled people. It's even farther to lower yourself down and come back up. I talked to her about it again after some time and she said it was a problem for a lot of older people who would be able to use the smaller stalls if only the toilets were normal. It's harder for me to use them and I am young and have good mobility, so I get where they're coming from.
@@TheAwesomes2104 Well, to answer your question, my experience is mostly in BC and Alberta Canada. I think they're lower so you can easily transfer from your wheelchair to the toilet, but honestly, I can't speak for design choice. It's not like I'm short either, so I don't really know why an adult wasn't there to help me as a kid. It was just more comfortable.
Some disabled bathrooms at least in public bathrooms also have changing tables in them so yes I haved used them! I have also used them to give my son insulin shots because I got uncomfortable with stares doing injections in the restaurant I had ppl literally talking about us injecting our kid with drugs because ppl are buttholes🙄
The babysitter's reaction reminds me of my first time with edibles. I fudged up BAD and ate wayyy more than I ever should have. For those who don't know, edibles are food containing marijuana and they can take a while before they take effect. In this case, they didn't kick in for around an hour. Because of the time it took, my brain didn't connect point A to point B. I didn't realize that the time skips I was experiencing and sudden feeling like I was drunk was connected to the space cake I ate over an hour earlier. So I quietly freaked out on the second floor of the Van Gogh museum thinking I was having a stroke because I couldn't remember how I got from the first floor to the second floor suddenly. I didn't initially realize that I was just really really high. Perfect spot for it to happen though. Course the best part was my response to the stairs going to the next floor because they super triggered my fear of open heights during a moment when rational thinking was entirely out the window. For added context, the Van Gogh museum has kind of a loft style to each floor. You come in on level with, if I remember correctly, the 3rd floor. You then descend down to the "1st floor". Each of the upper floors is open on one side so you can see down to the very bottom as you go up. There are stairs that go up the middle in a sort of zig zag pattern. The outer rail of the stairs is a glass wall that goes about 4 feet up with a chrome rail on the top. The glass wall of it is what I think really triggered my fear of open heights. The wall the rail sits on is high enough that you'd have to get yourself over pretty good to actually fall over, but of course my brain didn't care.
In regards to the story with the neighbour parking in OP’s driveway, in london there’s an app where you can rent out your parking spot/driveway to anyway that’s needs it, so it’s not totally outlandish to charge her 🤷🏽♀️😅
Regarding the heirloom story...OP is still part of the family! Nothing stops her from both keeping the ring AND writing a will that ensures the ring stays in the family that the heirloom is tied to. If it weren't for the bitter, greedy members of the family driving her away, she would probably stay close to that family and the heirloom could be directed to an appropriate descendant down the line.
On the dad taking his son's money I don't think he handled that right, but just my opinion. I think that will only make the son hold resentment towards his dad. I think more of an impact would be having him volunteer, or speak to ppl who were impacted by the Holocaust.. If dad did something like that the son might learn something, or be impacted in a positive way. I also think handing his son's phone to his girlfriend was a bit too much..I mean that's his girlfriend not his wife and including her is one thing, but handing his texts over to her is another. As a mom or as a teen I'd be really upset over that. They both seemed to approach the situation from a place of disgust and anger instead of an opportunity for a powerful learning experience.. again just my opinion
I agree. The kid needs to learn something but now he is just angry. If he had explained that part of the holocaust, racism etc was / is injustice auch as taking wealth from another, he could have taken it to show how it feels being treated like that. But he had to explain it and guide him to a better understanding of what the issue is.
Yes! It felt like it was more for the dad then the kid. The dad wanted to feel like was doing something to stop the racism. In effect, it was just teaching the child to be more covert about his racism. The child already knows it’s not unacceptable. What’s missing is the true understanding of how racism effects real communities.
About the parents dropping off the disabled brother with the sister. I can totally see OPs side. I have a disabled brother as well. Did everyone miss where OP said she was afraid of him? My brother scared the shit out of me for good reason. If my parents dropped my brother off unannounced, I would flip out. I totally think she is NTAH. Those parents are unreasonable and I would absolutely go no contact. It’s not fun growing up being afraid of your sibling.
On the 5th story I’m split 50-50. ( 29:01 ) Honestly I think it’d be a better punishment to make him earn every dollar back slowly and once he earns it all back I’d inform him that he is going to donate half to charity for his insensitive actions and words. I’d also make sure he understands the agonizing torture and brutality they endured.
So I've actually been through long bouts of celibacy myself with my fiance. We've agreed that boinking is basically the icing on the cake. If we never boinked again, we'd be just fine. We love each other and we're committed to each other. That man is my forever person and I'm ecstatic I get to spend the rest of my life with him 😊
I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with going celibate with a partner who's aware of it before making a long term commitment, but at the same time, sex is extremely important to a lot of people, so you can't blame someone for not being compatible with it and wanting to leave. I'm glad you've found someone who's a good fit for you. I have a few asexual friends and it can definitely be hard out there in the romance world for them. The timing that is sad about OP's story to me is that this woman obviously needs help and that the way she is using religion is extremely dangerous and unhealthy to herself and others(believing she is unworthy, irredeemable human who can only be forgiven through constant punishment and repentance.) It's even sadder that the OP seems to have these same dangerous religious views because he himself thinks she doesn't deserve happiness. Really crazy that, unless I missed something, the religion they're practicing sounds abrahamic, very possibly Christianity, which is often described by followers to be based on worshipping a man of infinite forgiveness and acceptance and being as much like him as possible.
OP should keep the heirloom engagement ring. This may be harsh, but many marriages end in divorce.If BIL gives the ring to his SO and they divorce, the ring is gone.The type of woman that would demand a dead man's ring right after his tragic death would absolutely keep the ring after a divorce. If OP keeps it then this ring symbolizes a perfect love, unsullied by a break up or divorce. They were happy together up until his death. I bet him and his grandmother would want her to have it always. If that all makes sense lol.
I have a key for disabled toilets too. Initially i bought it for my IBS, but now i might have either digestive issues too. I can confirm it's a life saver ❤❤❤
The fiance heirloom ring: I would let the family know I would be keeping the ring but would have it written into the will as returning to the family upon my death. If they want it back anytime soon, they'll have to kill me for it. 😅
A girl in my grade was sleeping with a teacher that had a son in our grade. It was sophomore year of HS when it all came out and his wife was pregnant at the time.
8th story: don't know if i would keep it but if i did decide to return it i would return directly to the deceased husbands niece/nephews when they decided to marry and not the brother inlaw.
My Dad is partially paralyzed and while he can walk the bruises on his spinal cord make it so he cannot feel his parts. Meaning he has to self cath every single time he has to pee and wear depends because he literally cannot feel it if he has to go. Yea you can't see his disability but it's definitely there. I'd be so angry if someone treated him this way. Nta.
I have 4 kids 19-24. I get compliments all the time about them. They go out of their way to help. My son is going to school to work with special Ed students & I always had parents of autistic students tell me how much my son helps them……. That said I think the dad who took the sons money handled it completely wrong. All he did was push the son to actually hate that group. At that age for some reason kids see humor in all those things. What he should have done is educated his son. As a “date” day with my son when he was 12-13 we went to the museum of tolerance. Not because he ever spoke negatively but so that he could get a closer look. He should have had his son volunteer and get involved. But taking his money was nothing. I’m not a “let’s let kids sit and think about why they broke a plate” but I don’t think taking his money will do anything but cause bitterness. Teaching him why the jokes are hurtful and harmful is important. Coming face to face with the people he is offending and have had to deal with hate. At museum of tolerance they have holocaust survivors speak so we had the chance to meet with one and hear her story.
She shamed someone with an invisible disability and forced him to tell her and nearby colleagues about his disability. That's private and nobody else's business. No-one did have to prove they're disabled enough. No-one is entitled to your personal, private, medical history.
My own parking story. I had a disable neighbor who asked to switch parking spots d/t mine being on the outside so if she backs up she can get out easier. I allowed it since it wasn't really any extra effort for me. Well in one week during lunch she let someone park in her spot and I had to waste time finding a spot. I would go home for lunch to save money and only had so much time to heat up food. Since it was new that I was going home for lunch I kindly asked her after the second time to please not let it happen again since I had to park two building away and it took 15 mins out of a hour lunch (and I use 30 mins to drive ) . She kinda gave me attitude,but I just thought I was being sensitive. Well , it continued. A bit later I asked her again my husband was leaving our apartment and heard our conversation. The lady gave me even more attitude. So my husband walked up and told her she no longer can park on our space since she is using hers as well. She was nicer and asked to keep the original arrangement since she is disable. She said she was having a bad day and didn't mean ro take it out on me. He said no, and that's he end of it. Well then she started to park on the line of the large parking space. Over time it changed to her whole wheel being over. We took photos and were in the process of having it towed per the management office if it happen again. Once she was going over the line.
I have a radar key. It makes using the bathroom a pain in the ass if you forget it, though. Adhd sure, but if you don't have any physical issues, and a physically disabled person needs to use the bathroom (eg is literally waiting/queuing) then I'd like it if you'd let us use it if you're able to use the normal one, honestly that very rarely happens anyway (the queuing for disabled access toilets). But at the end of the day, I'm not going to question someone using a disabled bathroom just because I need a chair. I am also autistic and sometimes used the disabled stall (before I became physically disabled) when I was in sensory overload/at risk of meltdown because the small cubicle and lack of space to move around could increase the risk. If you can use a normal stall, awesome, but in places with radar keys, if you have one then you have a need and the majority of other disabled people wouldn't bat an eyelid lol. It's normally people who are accompanying disabled people that make a fuss if someone who isn't visibly disabled uses disabled facilities and THAT makes me angry
Idk she apparently ruined multiple lives. Just because she "prayed her sins away" doesn't change the fact that she did horrible horrible things to people and ran away from those things to avoid actually facing responsibility. She just "turned to god". She hasn't repented. She hasn't shown she is actually atoned for her sins. Horrible people do deserve happiness, but only when they've stopped being horrible. Kara never did.
When it comes to disabled toilets if you have a stoma or nephrostomies the stoma association in ur area can sometimes provide you with a “disabled card” that can be pulled out if questioned at the bathroom My daughter had a stoma when she was young and the stoma association gave us a card to use the disabled bathrooms which was a god send bc we have been called out by security for using the disabled toilets when it looked like we didn’t have a disability. Once they viewed the card they apologised, but a disabled toilet isn’t just for wheelchair access, it’s for any disability. They r just made bigger for wheel chair access.
The high school story; I have a similar one but not me. My sister. When we were younger my sister had a history. I didn’t know it until I reached high school myself (I’m 6 years younger) but she was infamous. When she was in hs she had gotten detention a lot. She never gave reasons why she was in detention but it was weird she’d be there well after 5pm when school gets out at 3pm and detention across every school level is only an hour (I never did my homework so I was familiar with the system since grade school). She’d always be weirdly happy after detention as well. She often talked about her history teacher and I remember she mentioned he had once asked what the students wanted for Christmas one year and she told him “I want the world and a kite”. Back then she’d be considered a pick me girl so her answer was cringe even in the late 90s. Before the holiday break he apparently gave her a kite and a stress ball that looked like the world. She treasured it so dearly until one day she went rabid. She tore up the kite, broke windows in the house, and stabbed the stress ball. My parents got a call about vandalism and my sister was on lock down in the house and heavily monitored until she signed up for the air force and left the house. Flash forward until I was a sophomore in high school myself and a teacher, at the end of the year, told me she was glad I was nothing like my older sister because the only trouble she ever had with me was me not doing homework. I laughed awkwardly and said yeah. I knew my sister was a bitch and assumed she was like that with the teachers as well because in comparison I tried to be invisible and off the radar. I was telling my friend about what the teacher had said and I laughed that it was weird but then my friend told me what their older brother, who went to school the same time as my sister did. I think he was a few years younger. Turns out my sister was having an affair with the history teacher when she was a minor and all those “detentions” were them hooking up in the school. The day my sister lost her shit was the day the teacher told her he wasn’t leaving his wife for her when she graduated and he wanted to stop the affair. My sister ended up keying his car, hence the call about vandalism and reported him for assault against a minor. His wife left him and the town we lived in with their kids and he was charged. I never really talked to anyone abt this until my oldest sister (the one who is older than the one who had the affair) told me when I was in my mid 20s when I visited as the topic of her (oldest sisters) stint in the mental hospital came up. Apparently our parents knew what affair sister had done because after the teacher was charged affair sister told everything to oldest sister and said she had no remorse making sure the teacher was sent to jail. Something along the lines of “if I can’t have him I’ll just ruin his life. That’ll teach him to not chose me over his bitch wife”. Oldest sister was concerned about the psychotic behavior affair sister had and told our parents about it saying affair sister needed to see a psychiatrist. They asked affair sister and she started crying and said she would never do something like that and the issue was let go. Months later oldest sister was put in a mental institution for severe suicidal ideations. She was pulled out of her room while studying, zip tied up by our father and forcefully thrown into the car to take her to the hospital while she was kicking and screaming in fear. Affair sister lied to our parents about older sister and manipulated older sisters boyfriend at the time to go along with the lie as payback for telling our parents what happened with her affair with the history teacher. Affair sister ruined so many lives when we were younger and I guess I was either too dumb or naive to see it. She never got to me though. Worst she said about me was that I was a lesbian to our religious mother which was why I joined the army. When I got married to a man she said it was probably because I was baby trapping him which I didn’t get pregnant until months later. She was never able to take me down and her life is miserable now.
Brother's life insurance money is wild- its actually illegal to not have your spouse as the beneficiary unless the spouse has been informed. He should offer half *pronto* and hope they don't realize they can sue for all of it.
Honestly I hope he gets sued, he sounds like an A$$. Seems he's punishing the grieving wife for what the parent's did to him. Wonderful guy. Would put hardship on the widow though, so yeah would be the better outcome to give or half whatever.
Honestly the first story of the disable bathroom. I am high-functioning autistic with Asperger's and I really don't like the regular bathrooms because I don't know it's kind of frustrating with me and I get nervous a lot. And I honestly feel safe going into the bathroom the disabled one but if I ever go into the other bathroom I never use the disabled the big stall in the public bathrooms because I don't know I just feel bad about that. But I feel more comfortable using disabled bathrooms than public. But I don't always do spicy anybody in a wheelchair and out of the store and everything I always use the public one in case even though it messes up with my anxiety now I don't always do that but. I still feel.
Yeah I understand your anxiety about it and I've worried before too. My wheelchair-using cousin says they don't think it's a big deal as long as there isn't a line for the bathroom. Sometimes people need more space to change clothes or there may be a baby changing station in there or they may be clostrophobic. As long as you're not in there for hours, it should be fine.
I used the disabled bathroom right after I gave birth (3 times) for a few weeks and when I broke my foot. I also use the disabled bathroom if there is no family bathroom because I have 3 small children and if I shop without hubby, they are to small to be left alone for any period of time so we go together. Too many creeps out there.
That is just awesome parenting taking your sons money and donating it. Your son is in the wrong and needs a good roll model to learn right from wrong. As a deputy sheriff you can’t get in trouble for donating his money, you are a parent and teaching your child a life lesson. (Play stupid games, get stupid prizes.)
I don’t believe taking the money was the right move. The kid will just interpret that as passive aggression, because the money was not from him directly. It was not his to take. Donating it to charity will just enrage the child down the racist rabbit hole even further. A better move would have been to withhold the money, and make his child volunteer for those charities. Exposure goes a long way to cure ignorance. With the kid’s mom feeding and validating his reaction, the kid will feel even more justified in his hate.
The lawsuit from neighbor…OP must contact a lawyer asap…the pattern of behavior makes it seem like if this woman has started legal proceedings, she will ABSOLUTELY see it through. It’s really good that OP has cameras, I would suggest getting enough to cover every inch of their property…the neighbor will probably sneak onto their property to “document” all of the “dangerous” things OP does, and if paranoia is a symptom of her mental illness, she may be armed with a weapon of some kind…not necessarily a firearm, but better to not take any chances. If the neighbor has filed suit, they can’t ignore it, or that will be seen as “no contest,” and the neighbor may be awarded the $.
Its not the craziest story, but my mom n law gave away all her inheritance so she didnt have to deal with the drama and honestly.. i dont blame her. Sometimes it isn't worth the headache. Currently my grandma is battling cancer and other health issues that are putting her in and out of the hospital. The vultures already are starting to circle. Its funny, they try to rope me into it, say ill get something... And every time i respond "i dont care, id rather have my grandma." I've never liked 'dead people money'; I even still have my 'inheritance' from my great grandma, I keep it because that is the only thing i have of her. I might have to use it when im desperate one day, but for now, i still have that piece of her.
He would want her to keep the ring. Let me ask you this. If they did get married and then he passed away. Should the family be able to ask for the ring back then? The answer is No. That is a simple of there Love. Now, when and if she remarries she can give the ring to one of the grandchildren of the family to keep it in their family. I would not give it to Jim and Stacy just because how the went about it. Now, I would call Jake’s parents and let them know what her plans are, just to give Jake’s parents that it will stay in the family. But, Jim and Stacy doesn’t deserve the ring.
29:10 one of my kids made some geometrically racist art. I made them read Maus with me and discuss it bit by bit. We talked about themes and racism and privilege. Then, their other parent worked through volunteer hours.
I’m disabled, but look like I 100% healthy person. I have hemplegic migraines (migraines with stroke like symptoms) so being able to use accessibility services is sometimes necessary. For example, I try to always get a seat on the train, but since I look like a healthy 22 year old, I have gotten nasty looks and comments about sitting in a disability seat. I’ve thought about getting aids to help me around the city as well as making my disability more visible to others. In general, people who have invisible illnesses are treated horribly by everyone since we don’t look sick and generally are living semi-normal lives.
As someone who has UC I genuinely hate when people say stuff like "you're perfectly healthy" or "there's nothing wrong with you" like man I can't walk around with my colon in my hands to showcase it just because yall assume disabilities have to be visible😑 I literally have a card that I carry with me that gives me access to all bathrooms due to my IBD
Sorta fun fact: ADA will basically drop a nuke on a company for that sign lol
Yeah, Jolene got herself in this mess. She put the company at risk because she was selfish and wanted to continue to abuse her disabled status. Like op said, not all disabilities are obvious but they still need accommodation.
Yep. She did this to herself. The company definitely didn’t want to pay those fines and penalties. 😂
Dropping the ADA bomb will get anyone's attention. I had my medical marijuana card and told the college I went to (a smoking camps at the time), that if I wasn't granted access to smoking areas that I would report them to the ADA. It made this security guard so mad because he couldn't get me kicked off campus.
For reference, I have deformities in my hips and spine. Hauling around campus was tough without pain relief and taking narcotics wasn't an option since I needed to pay attention in class.
Yeah they will
Jolene being disabled has nothing to do with her personality issues
That's not necessarily true. Being ostracized can make people bitter and self-serving as a survival tactic. It doesn't justify her spreading the cruelty and exclusion tho.
@@jakemarie828 It explains but not excuses.
@@ugojlachapellethis.
A pos is going to be a pos no matter what life throws at them. Jolene is a perfect example of that. OP has been disabled their whole life and treats others with respect and kindness, just because they aren't in a wheelchair doesn't mean they are any less disabled than Joelen. He's the example that you can still be kind and respectful of others around you even if life has thrown some big challenges your way.
Mood swings are one thing, but purposely getting other people fired because she just wants to be a giant bully just means she's a c.u.n.t with or without the wheelchair.
@@ugojlachapelle yes I literally said it doesn't justify it.
I have a family member in a group home and it's been the best thing for him. He has a firm structured schedule that keeps him at ease since he knows what will be happening everyday. He went from being violent and unstable to loving his new life and friends.
The bag they have to use holds a lot. It smells quite a loot when it needs to be emptied...those with these bags need and deserve as much privacy as they can get emptying the bag.
❤ this plus space. Additional room, counter top that's private to make bag changes etc.
I’m actually incredibly concerned about Terry; if his parents are willing to just drop him on someone’s doorstep (even if that someone is their unwilling child) whenever they’re busy or “need a break” then what else is happening to him?
If she divorced him she should have to give the ring back. But because he died she should not. That ring would have been hers forever. Or for the rest of their lives. What is wrong with people???
@tlbjmb1996 I think you might have responded to the wrong comment. The Terry story is about the parents abandoning their disabled son with their other child. There's no mention of a ring.
Even if the parents were more responsible its pretty clear from her description that the best thing for him would be a group home, where he could have some social interaction and assistance from people that are professionally trained. Its crazy how people feel guilty about putting him in a home that is designed to meet his needs but not dumping him on his sister who is not able to take care of him,
@@ZoeJasper9 oh 100%
As a mother of two adult autistic sons, I can say wholeheartedly that Terry’s parents are absolute assholes!!!! I get overwhelmed with my boys sometimes too, I understand the frustration, but I would never just ditch them with their sibling!!
Watching Terry here and there is fine, IF SHE AGREED TO DO IT. But for the parents to just straight up ditch him on her doorstep repeatedly?!?!? I would have called services too. That’s neglect. That’s abandonment. She’s not his parent and he is not her responsibility. Terry’s already the victim here, he’s caught in the middle of it all. His parents suck.
As also having a child with both Autism, and very similar symptoms as the "AITA" I somewhat agree with your views....HOWEVER, we don't know the WHOLE situation and society has increasingly become more selfish/self-centered, and less about a supportive family. In my POV.
I agree . Good thing she moved out of the state it’s not her responsibility..
@@nativegirl8186I would politely disagree. There is no reason, regardless of the situation for the parents to dump their disabled child on OP. Op is an adult with a life of their own. There are programs out there to help them with taking care of their son if his needs are beyond their ability to meet. This is coming from a person who used to work with people in op’s brother’s situation.
Being autistic, I can say if my parents abandoned ME on a porch to have someone watch me, I would say I would HOPE whoever they left me with would call protective services.
Caretaker neglect and abuse is a terrible thing, and based on the frequency and violence of the meltdowns I fear for Terry. Meltdowns are famously worse in unstable environments (not to say there can’t be bad meltdowns without abuse and neglect, but rather to say that seeing meltdowns that devolve into aggression when there’s already signs of neglect is a big red flag)
@@nativegirl8186We do have the whole situation because the little information provided is enough.
Terry is her BROTHER not her son. Parentification is damaging and abusive to both children. I'm glad OP got away
She has zero reason to look after him if she doesn’t want to. I have a scary disabled large brother. My parents know that they better not drop his ass off with me. He lived with my parents until they were in their early eighties and stays in a nursing home. He is better off because he gets more consistent qualified care and has more socialization than only seeing two eight year olds all the time as he rarely left the house. At the nursing home he has other patients, staff, not to mention all the activities and parties they have all the time.
I feel like it’s incredibly heartless of the fiancé’s family to be demanding the ring back so soon after his death… while I do think that it would be the right thing to give it back eventually, I think OP should at least get the chance to mourn with it. Asking for the ring back at the FUNERAL is such a vulture thing to do
It was incredibly insensitive on their part. And if her fiance was alive, Jim wouldn't be proposing with that ring because OP and her spouse would've been married and she would be wearing it.
On the other hand... Her fiance is dead, they have no kids, so that ring would remain with someone who's not family anymore. If he was alive and they had kids, that ring would be given to their kids as it was a family tradition. It would be EXTREMELY unfair for her to keep it. It has to be extremely hard, but it's not right for her to keep it.
No he should have been punched and everyone else that's rude to the fiance. And she should keep it and get restraining orders against the a-holes!!!
Its totally a vulture move.
Also, if all the dead fiancé's stuff was left to her in his will, then that's it. Its her ring now.
But... if he didn't have a will... and she wasn't married... then its down to a court to decide what the deceased intended.
I think it’s confusing because she’s just lost her whole future in one day, it makes me think if she had married him and started a family she wouldn’t have been asked to do this… or would she? I think they might gift her a thoughtful piece of jewellery to be a memory of him. It’s weird that they let her pay for the whole funeral on her own ? So he just can’t be bothered saving . 😢 so sorry for her loss
@@iulia.bianca.bI disagree with you. It would be wrong for her to keep it IF the family wanted an heirloom back. Thats not why they want it back. They want to be selfish. I would keep the ring. I would give it back 100% if they 1. didn't ask at the FUNERAL and 2. didn't want it for selfish reasons.
For the lady that fired her babysitter, WTH? You didn’t tell her that there was alcohol in the fridge forgetting that she likes seltzers. She told you she wasn’t feeling well multiple times, she’s also 16, she hadn’t had alcohol before and didn’t know what it tastes like. That’s an evil move for one accident, at 18 sometimes I mix up the alcoholic drinks in the fridge because normally there aren’t any, and with my medical condition I need extra sugar. What a jerk
Exactly she probably thought they made flavor seltzers she should sue Op
Dude I'm pregnant and I accidentally grabbed an alcoholic beverage because it was orange on top (I could only see the tops of the cans because they were in a refrigerated drawer) and I thought it was going to be orange soda since there were a few orange sodas in there that I had been drinking. I took a sip then looked down like oh that tastes like.. tea? Alcoholic tea 😅 I handed it to my friend and found a soda 😂
As for the story about the sisters. I can tell you first hand babies DO NOT save relationships I am living proof of that.
A baby will make a healthy relationship stronger and ruin an already fragile/unhealthy one. Babies aren’t all cuddles and love. They’re stressful and difficult
Second story. I disagree it is a clear cut situation. Op handled the situation the best she could. Her parents forced her hand. She set a reasonable boundary, and when it was repeatedly violated she gave a fair warning of what she would do and she followed through. Its sad that her brother was caught in the middle but that wasn't her fault nor was there a better way to handle the situation.
Story 2: if she already bullied 2 people out of a job then you might save some people’s careers by getting her rightfully fired
Never ignore a lawsuit you a served. Most likely she can file something with the court stating it's a frivolous suit and ask the judge to throw it out.
That sister was definitely lying about IVF, either the amount of money needed or the treatments all together.
The thing that's really messed up about the babysitter is that she had to walk home drunk, while 15 and not really understanding what was going on. If she didn't live close by, she could've been in real danger. It would've been so much worse if was during the summer time too. Poor kid 😕
Seriously the mom is being such an asshole the babysitter didn’t know and SHE left them there and then had no empathy at all
hi paraplegic wheelchair user here, I have extreme bathroom anxiety bc I had a lot of issues in high school w people skipping class in the handicap stall.
I never pull the handicap card when it comes to the bathroom or to people. If someone is actually using the toilet, then I can usually wait a few, I get it. The only time I pull the disabled card is if I’m a little late or more tired than usual. As my late grandpa often said, “shit happens.”
- not all disabilities are visible
- not all wheelchair users are paralyzed
- chairs are custom so ppl aren’t “taking resources”
- ask before pushing, don’t touch me or my chair, it’s an extension of myself. Would you help someone going up the stairs by touching their shoulders ?
I can go on and on. Please be kind to everyone, you dont know what they’re handling it’s free and feels good to be nice. Thank you.
With the ring one... I do understand having an ancient family heirloom designed to be passed down through liniage be given to someone who will... have the liniage to pass the ring down to, and tragically that wouldn't be Jake. I DO understand that Jake gave that to his fiancée as a symbol of their union forever. If Jim WASN'T being a mega simp for Stacy (which I suspect he might be, given that it seems he wants it not for spiritual reasons but for Stacy's taste in jewelry) then he should have waited an appropiate amount of time and posed the solution "Please keep the ring, we know how much it means to you and Jake, All I ask is that years in the future, when the time comes, if you'd consider passing it down to Jake's Nieces or Nephews, just to keep it in our Grandma's liniage since it's such an important family heirloom."
But he probably wanted to just get Stacy off his back.
There were ways to go about this.
EXACTLY you nailed in on the head. If they wanted it back for family reasons of COURSE you should give it back. I don't think they actually care about the history of the ring. Id keep the ring.
I would give the ring to Jim and Stacey's first child. That way it's still in their family, but teaches Stacey a lesson not to be such a rude grasping bi-ach, but that's just me!
@@bethboo1902 Well, I can think of another time OP may want to give it back, if she ever gets engaged again. Would be a wee bit awkward to keep the ring after that, probably a good time to give it back.
54:35 It was a mess and super traumatic. I was around 6 years old. I was at my best friend's house. Her grandma was looking after us. She poured us some juice she made, it was some kind of early stages alcoholic drink (grape juice) that wasn't supposed to have alcohol yet. She poured me, my best friend and her brother a cup each. My friend took some sips, her brother barely touched it. They didn't like the taste. So I drank mine, hers (about half a cup), and her brother's. I wasn't feeling so well, so I went home. She lived on the second floor, so I grabbed that railing super hard going downstairs. I was stumbling. Entered my home and my mom immediately noticed I wasn't feeling well. She asked me what happened and I told her I was in their kitchen drinking some juice and started feeling really bad. She must've put two and two together. She prepared a nice bath for me. I still to this day remember that bathtub spinning like I was in a rollercoaster, but it sobered me up quite nicely. I don't know how my mother handled it after, but I can tell you she must've been quite pissed...
I get chronic massive ovarian cysts, and while I don’t qualify for diabilty or really claim the term disabled (because it’s for about a week a month. 3/4 of the time I’m able bodied) I need that auxiliary bar in the handicap stalls when a cyst is rupturing. I cannot stand myself up without it. If someone told me not to use it I’d probably resort to violence.
I would qualify that as a disability if it was that regular. I would get it in writing just in case you need to.
Lou Ferigno has something that qualifies him as disabled, or at least I know he has a handicap plaque I don't entirely know how those two differ, but occasionally losing the ability to stand unassisted doesn't count?! shit that sucks ASS!
People are always great judging others ( for not wanting to take care of somebody aka disabled brother or unborn child). But they don’t want to deal with it either.
It’s called guilt tripping
Op should will the heirloom ring to the brother's future child. That way she can keep the ring and return it to the family line later without caving to the pressure of the family. Also she can always change her mind later when she's no longer grieving or meets someone new and just needs to move on.
I agree I would have gave it back til the brother at funeral and mother after all that they can have when I die
The IVF couple wanted half to sue her sister for the rest. Guaranteed
Err, in most countries they would likely get half as that's usually neutral, which is why parent's give at least something to the estranged kid. OP changing their mind and still not doing the right thing is honestly AHolish. The right thing is both good/neutral, OP didn't do it in the end. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Doesn't matter that the sister is an AH. BTW the elitist language in why the sister couldn't sue was sickening, automatically makes OP the AH in the end (can't believe she put that down).
💯
@@jboy804 But OP wasn't the one choosing to get 100% of the inheritence. The parents did, they're the Aholes. I wouldn't want to give money to someone who aggressively tries to take my money either. They at least need to be thankful for what they get, which the sister wasn't, she felt entitled to get 100%. In the latest update she ended up giving half the inheritence btw.
People see me and think I'm perfectly fine. However, after MVAs and Surgery gone wrong I have to use disabled restrooms. I've had someone get in my face and threaten me for using the restroom. 😂
On the subject of the heirloom ring: she should just tell them she will pass the ring on to a member of their family when she is good and ready, but likely skipping Jim’s generation because of the incredible insensitivity they have shown her. Win/win!
Actually pretty good, does eventually go back, karma restored.
Another time, which would be likely sooner, would be if she gets married to someone. Would be a bit awkward to keep the ring of your dead fiancé when you get another engagement ring. Then would be a definitely good time to give it up.
I honestly would check any cousins or other people from the family that not Jim and send to them a few years down the line without notifying her former in-laws altogether
All the people who have been berating OP about Terry should look after him themselves if they care that much!
One night my boyfriend and I went out to ride our motorcycles. I was in the lead and had to keep slowing down so that he could catch up. In the meantime he thought he was too close and kept slowing down. (He wasn't even in my review mirror) We eventually pulled over into a parking lot. I asked him what was going on. He said that he felt weird. I thought he was having a stroke so I told him to lift his arms. Fortunately, that wasn't the case. We went a little further to a gas station where he remembered that he had taken a CBD gummy right before riding. He then came to the realization that it was more than CBD and he was high AF. 😂
I use the handicap bathroom at work when the store is closed and I'm literally the only person allowed in the store. For reference, we have 2 handicap bathroom stalls so there's always another one someone could use if needed.
I LOVE the "not all disabilities are obvious" because seriously just because you don't see them doesn't mean they aren't there.
Yup, some disabilities are invisible too.
As someone with invisible disabilities, I cheered a bit. Not for the lady in general, but against everyone who's ever gone sanctimonious on me for needing disability access/ accommodations.
I like to carry ultrasound pictures of my cysts around so if people ask why I’m using it I can show them the 15+ cm cysts I keep getting
I've had a service dog for 7 years, and I didn't realize that most of the time, the toilets in the other stalls are WAY lower down. One of my elderly co-workers told me she had to use that stall because of how low the toilets were, and how it was hard on her knees to get up and down from them. After she brought it up to me, I tried to sit in one of the normal stalls and wtf, why are they SOOO far down. I get around quite well and am small, so who tf are these ultra low toilets for? A little child small enough to have to use one would be too small to use it on their own and the parent would have to take them in the disability stall with the regular size toilet anyway.
@@itskashkashiYeah, I've gotten some lectures from other disabled people about how a young obviously able bodied woman shouldn't be taking the stall. All 3 times it's happened, their faces were priceless when I pushed past them and my 95 lb service dog walks out right behind me. (I always go through doors first when I can, so that people on the other side don't get spooked by an unexpected massive black dog or try to pet/distract him.)
Calling Adult protective services was the wise decision. And putting him in service is probably what is best for Terry. These parents are clearly neglecting him. The services exist for a reason.
Facts
If the mom getting sued has a court date, she DEFINITELY needs to show up with the ring camera footage, with the bus driver, and her husband as character witnesses to testify about her neurotic behavior. That way the crazy neighbor lady can't win the case by default.
There's no way the crazy neighbor could win by default. The only way cases get won by default like that is if the ACCUSING party doesn't show up - the one who filed the case - not if the defendant doesn't show up. That's how defendants can ignore things and they go away: either the other side doesn't show, or the other side has a frivolous or meritless case. They don't have to prove their innocence, the opposition has to prove guilt.
Then once they're in court they would lose because they would have to prove that they could not work ANY job, or they lost the job they had due to the defendant's actions. And to win damages for emotional distress (which is extremely rare), they would again have to prove a LOSS of money. They have to prove the distress is lasting, not fleeting, and that it is medically significant. They don't just get bonus money for being upset, they'd have to prove they were so upset that they lost their job or couldn't work, or they had to pay for therapy specifically because of this and the therapy was medically necessary, etc. She just has no case at all. 😂
@@tubblebub I'm glad! I don't want that crazy woman to win. But you know every state has different laws, and every state (unfortunately) has judges on the bench who are either incompetent, burnt out from being a judge, or just plain biased for a myriad of reasons(despite the fact that they swear to be unbiased and fair). Thank you for the legality lesson. I worked as a paralegal for a VERY brief time, and depending on the type of law, court proceedings vary. I've never been in, or worked at a small claims court. 👍😺
Wait, why is the young wife entitled to what is legally hers yet the sister was an ahole for not giving her entitled-acting selfish sister half of what was legally hers? She offered half when she owed none; and they aggressively demanded all, tried to disparage her publicly, and diminished her childhood experience with the trauma one-upping.
Because the assholes are still getting what they are entitled to in the one with the wife they just asked for more and she now saying no. In the sister one she is not legally but technically entitled to half but since she being an asshole she's getting none. So it's none vs some I guess. I don't think the sister is necessarily an asshole but I do think she may regret it later. Maybe not, we don't know enough.
@@ellielou52 The other sister wasn't entitled to anything. She had no relationship with her parents and the parents chose to give her nothing. If she wanted something she should have repaired her relationship with her parents while they were alive. At some point you have to grow up and decide to accept your parents as they are or walk away. I walked away because the abuse was so bad. I want absolutely nothing from any one. Inheritance is probably the worst thing on this planet and it really brings the worst out of families.
The line itself: because they have no money to be able to sue. It is so elitist it saps any hope they are not the AH.
Yes, the sister was being an AH but I understand somewhat their mental anguish. People going through that can act quite off, the important part would be if when they cooled down they come to accept the half and apologize. They seem to have, then OP took it all. BTW giving them half wasn't a good thing to do, it was the right thing AKA a thing OP should still do for what the parents disgustingly did. So OP not doing the right thing makes her the AH now. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Doesn't matter that the sister is an AH.
Also, again the blatant elitism, I can't believe OP put that down. That was so disgusting that made me recoil. That makes OP extra vile :/
@@jboy804nah fuck ‘em. You lose all the money once you harass the person who offered half when you weren’t even privy to the inheritance. They sound like they’re gonna be horrible parents.
They’re certainly elitist for feeling entitled to the full amount. Be for real
@@AngelVocal I never said the other people weren't horrible, but the OP isn't great either, neither fell far from the tree of the parents :(
The thing with family heirlooms is that once you pass it down it belongs to the person you pass it to and would then likely go to their children. In an ideal situation the ring would end up going to op and her late fiancés potential future children. Even though that is no longer a possibility the ring still belongs to op. The ring was passed to her and her fiancé. It is crazy to expect her to pass it to someone she does not want to.
Oh, the disabled bathroom thing. I think it's definitely a matter of "if there are a lot of people and it's the only stall available, then it's open so long as it's reserved should someone who needs it show up." If you're in there and you have an invisible disability, then you really have no need to justify that to anyone. If you're in there and you don't have a disability or reason to be in there, then try to only be in there when you can't use a regular stall just to be on the safe side.
I saw the horror of alcohol from my own parents and also have PTSD of alcohol as well as screaming and fighting. The smell makes me sick as well so I don’t touch the stuff.
@46:39 I think it would only be fair if she kept the ring until one of her ex-fiance's potential nieces or nephews got engaged to pass on to. If none of them do ever get engaged/married, there would be no point of a family heirloom to continue with anyway. This honors her husband, his grandmother, and the idea of passing down an heirloom within his family.
Blackmailing someone and trying to use it legally is ILLEGAL
54:00 OP is clearly the asshole! It honestly seems to me like OP was looking for a reason to fire her babysitter and just jumped on the first thing that came up...
My area has so many creepy guys and I have been followed home several times.
Once I had a 70yr old neighbor break into my house when I was 16 anf home alone.
He used to follow me to school driving around the block several times, hed peek into my bedroom window when he parked his RV and grabbed my upper thigh once.
I wasn't taken seriously when I told my parents 😑
So anyway I came home from school early one day and was watching cartoons, I kept hearing the wood door squeek but thought meh thats the wind...
WELL then the screen door opened ⁉️ and there's no way thats wind. I run to the door and 70yr is in my entryway.
I yelled at him which shocked him.
I was a very shy child and I think he thought I would be a quiet victim, I had never lashed out before this but alarm bells were ringing in my head I knew I was in danger.
I was being really loud and rushing him.
he kept asking where my mom was and I said she was sleeping, I knew I wasn't very convincing but he was weary enough that he started backing away. He kept trying to persuade me to get my mom/wake her up but I refused.
I said " WHAT DO YOU WANT!?" And getting got increasingly aggressive, he was still in the doorway but got really anxious and started looking around to see if anyone was watching.
Apparantly it was imperative my mother knew he mowed the lawn.
My parents weren't close with him just neighborly so he had no reason to be in my house.
I said "K 😡" and rushed him out the door slamming it on his hand.
I told my mom about it and he was never allowed on our property again.
My dad put a trip wire next to the windows and said he heard someone cry out after falling.
My parents never ended up catching him but they started to hear other neighbors complain that him AND his wife had been seen peeping in windows.
My sister later came out saying his wife had also been incredibly creepy to her and that she also saw him peek into our bedroom window.
The “me getting baked in my underwear watching Adventure Time” is literally me right now. And every day😹😹😭
Im someone with a mostly invisible disability (Some days are worse than others). Many people in wheelchairs can still be very, very ableist as they get used to disabled spaces/bathrooms being specifically as "Just for people like them" and can be quite hostile to someone like me whose disability isn't as obvious. And it be quite daunting to speak to them about it, because they tend to pull the oppression Olympics if anyone questions their behavior.
You ask what disabilities are entitled to disabled toilets? In my experience and in my country, anyone with their physical (and some specifical mental disabiltiies) extra needs that are in paperwork from a doctor, are entitled to use the bathroom or other disabled services. Some people can't stand for long periods of time, some people shake a lot and need the extra room in the bathroom (As you put it, the King Sized Toilets lol)
You can be a part of any community and still be oppressive or hostile to those in it. Always try to remember you have no idea what a stranger is going through, so do not judge someone without asking.
For the bus and child story. There is NO lawsuit there. That will be thrown out of court. I would not worry about that lawsuit. 🤣
It would be helpful if you included a link to the stories..i want to go and read the comments.
The thing that bugs me about the heirloom ring is that it sounds like the brother's gf was eyeing the ring and making comments before OP's fiance died. Not only is it tasteless, it stinks of "so now that he's dead and you can't get me something equal or better, get me the original", and not a "hey, I know it hurts, but it's been in our family for generations and while we see your pain it is important to us as well and perhaps in a year/set reasonable period/or upon engagement to another person it comes back to our family to be passed down to the next generation". Heck, I don't know if I'd be comfortable if my bf wanted to take the ring his barely buried brother used to propose to his grieving fiance and use it for me.
Re: Family Heirloom Ring.
OP should keep it until she passes and upon her death “will” it back to her fiancé’s family.
This way, she can have the ring for her lifetime (as her fiancé intended, and would have wanted) and his family would inherit it upon her death, allowing them to continue to pass it on to a new generation.
For the babysitter story, how is the 16 year old there from 9-7 every day? Wouldn’t a teenager have school? Can’t imagine how you could even be homeschooled with that schedule (if the only day she doesn’t work is Sunday)… I mean dang, that’s more than full time employment. You’d have to claim her on your taxes. Lol
Could be 9pm to 7am
@@farmerchick3040 lol you really think so?
I think she had no days off. It said "she works Mondays through Sundays". Doesn't that mean Sunday is included?
@@iulia.bianca.b I thought they said Mon-Saturday! Either way, those are still long hours I don’t see how that works with a 16 year old (and taxes) lol
And I would hope she had made plenty of money working those hours to pay for her driver's permit!
The parents responsible ones, not the child, and now that she’s an adult it was their decision to have a child. It was their decision to take care of him. They could’ve reached out for social services to supplement the needs which are available in most states.
9th story: the neighbor is a scamer thief. Her theif tool of choice is lawsuit. Op needs to get a lawyer.
I hope Mary sued OP. Life insurance is intended to support your family after losing your income. Not to financially support your unmotivated brother. Hopefully she can get with HR at his work and prove he hasn't changed his beneficiary since before he got married.
Oh yeah, Mary would absolutely win in a lawsuit. It's very stupidly common not to update will's and such. Very much a headache. BUT it is very much assumed to be an ooopsie in these kind of cases. OP will lose if she goes after him. Clearly, she was giving him an out. A lawsuit will likely giver her most if not all. If this went to the jury, this would be a slam dunk for the grieving widow with KIDS.
The one about the dead brother and the other brother taking all his money, the other brother is 100% the asshole. First off, the dead brother has twins that now will be left with nothing, in favour of the other brother’s kids, that if he can’t support, he shouldn’t have them.
Other brother’s kids don’t even exist, and may never exist, and he sees his dead brother as a cash cow. No other way to look at it.
I generally don't use the disabled bathroom/stall unless I'm either using my crutches (the regular stalls tend to be way too small to use comfortably) or if I'm having a flare up and need additional help with mobility because then I can use the metal bars and not fall on the floor lol
I frequently use the handicap stall when I'm with my small children for a few reasons. That's usually where the changing table is. Also, have you ever tried to fit 2-4 kids and an 1 adult in the tiny stall? If there is a family restroom I'll use that instead, but most places don't have that. Handicap restroom toilets are also usually shorter, so it's easier for the kids. If I'm by myself I use the regular stalls.
The inheritance thingy, OP is not the AH even after deciding to give her nothing. You can’t treat people like shit and still expect them to be nice to you. She is not entitled to that money, she was when it was still her parents but it now belongs to her sister. In my country, you can’t cut someone out of your inheritance completely, you can cut them down but your children will still get a minimum 50% of the inheritance, 25% each if there are two kids etc.
There's a good reason why. BTW the right thing to do would be to give the money, thus your an AH no matter what if you don't. It's not net neutral just because the other person is an AH. It's perpetuating the evil of their parent's. Which makes the OP an AH automatically, don't perpetuate the evil for your parents. BTW the elitist language of OP literally stating that the sister can't sue b/c she has no money is disgusting. This automatically makes her an AH, she knows she would lose half the inheritance if they had the money, I literally can't believe they typed that.
Jolene was getting people fired. She can kick rocks
That’s brutal considering she’s in a wheelchair 🤣🤣🤣
I won't lie, I used to use the disabled bathrooms when I was a kid without knowing. I liked them because the toilets were lower, so I could actually reach them.
I'm really curious as to where you grew up. Here where I live, the disabled bathrooms have normal toilets, and sometimes the other stalls have very short little toilets. (Sometimes all the toilets are the same too)
I have a service dog, so I've used the bigger stalls for 7 years, and when one of my older co-workers told me it was hard for her to use the non disabled bathrooms because of how low down the toilets were I was confused. After she said it, I checked myself and since have noticed that they tend to be much much lower.
I have no idea why, and it seems extremely dumb. Someone told me it was so that small children could use them, but I am a couple inches taller than my 8yo niece and she's been able to use the regular sized toilet in their house since potty training. If a child was small enough to need a short toilet, It would probably be too small to use a stall on their own without a parent.
Now saying your comment, I'm even more confused. Lower down toilets would suck for a lot of disabled people. It's even farther to lower yourself down and come back up. I talked to her about it again after some time and she said it was a problem for a lot of older people who would be able to use the smaller stalls if only the toilets were normal. It's harder for me to use them and I am young and have good mobility, so I get where they're coming from.
@@TheAwesomes2104 Well, to answer your question, my experience is mostly in BC and Alberta Canada. I think they're lower so you can easily transfer from your wheelchair to the toilet, but honestly, I can't speak for design choice. It's not like I'm short either, so I don't really know why an adult wasn't there to help me as a kid. It was just more comfortable.
Some disabled bathrooms at least in public bathrooms also have changing tables in them so yes I haved used them! I have also used them to give my son insulin shots because I got uncomfortable with stares doing injections in the restaurant I had ppl literally talking about us injecting our kid with drugs because ppl are buttholes🙄
The babysitter's reaction reminds me of my first time with edibles. I fudged up BAD and ate wayyy more than I ever should have. For those who don't know, edibles are food containing marijuana and they can take a while before they take effect.
In this case, they didn't kick in for around an hour. Because of the time it took, my brain didn't connect point A to point B. I didn't realize that the time skips I was experiencing and sudden feeling like I was drunk was connected to the space cake I ate over an hour earlier.
So I quietly freaked out on the second floor of the Van Gogh museum thinking I was having a stroke because I couldn't remember how I got from the first floor to the second floor suddenly. I didn't initially realize that I was just really really high. Perfect spot for it to happen though.
Course the best part was my response to the stairs going to the next floor because they super triggered my fear of open heights during a moment when rational thinking was entirely out the window.
For added context, the Van Gogh museum has kind of a loft style to each floor. You come in on level with, if I remember correctly, the 3rd floor. You then descend down to the "1st floor". Each of the upper floors is open on one side so you can see down to the very bottom as you go up. There are stairs that go up the middle in a sort of zig zag pattern. The outer rail of the stairs is a glass wall that goes about 4 feet up with a chrome rail on the top. The glass wall of it is what I think really triggered my fear of open heights. The wall the rail sits on is high enough that you'd have to get yourself over pretty good to actually fall over, but of course my brain didn't care.
Thank god the parents in the dad dating the high schooler stories acted like parents and did the right thing... I mean, accept the Dad
In regards to the story with the neighbour parking in OP’s driveway, in london there’s an app where you can rent out your parking spot/driveway to anyway that’s needs it, so it’s not totally outlandish to charge her 🤷🏽♀️😅
Regarding the heirloom story...OP is still part of the family! Nothing stops her from both keeping the ring AND writing a will that ensures the ring stays in the family that the heirloom is tied to.
If it weren't for the bitter, greedy members of the family driving her away, she would probably stay close to that family and the heirloom could be directed to an appropriate descendant down the line.
Ring story: I'd find one of those jewelers that can replicate special pieces and get a duplicate made and give the family the duplicate.
On the dad taking his son's money I don't think he handled that right, but just my opinion. I think that will only make the son hold resentment towards his dad. I think more of an impact would be having him volunteer, or speak to ppl who were impacted by the Holocaust.. If dad did something like that the son might learn something, or be impacted in a positive way. I also think handing his son's phone to his girlfriend was a bit too much..I mean that's his girlfriend not his wife and including her is one thing, but handing his texts over to her is another. As a mom or as a teen I'd be really upset over that. They both seemed to approach the situation from a place of disgust and anger instead of an opportunity for a powerful learning experience.. again just my opinion
I agree, he didn't unpack any of the sons thinking. Now his son is just racist and mad.
I agree. The kid needs to learn something but now he is just angry. If he had explained that part of the holocaust, racism etc was / is injustice auch as taking wealth from another, he could have taken it to show how it feels being treated like that. But he had to explain it and guide him to a better understanding of what the issue is.
Yes! It felt like it was more for the dad then the kid. The dad wanted to feel like was doing something to stop the racism. In effect, it was just teaching the child to be more covert about his racism. The child already knows it’s not unacceptable. What’s missing is the true understanding of how racism effects real communities.
Completely agree with all of your comments!
I 100% agree
About the parents dropping off the disabled brother with the sister. I can totally see OPs side. I have a disabled brother as well. Did everyone miss where OP said she was afraid of him? My brother scared the shit out of me for good reason. If my parents dropped my brother off unannounced, I would flip out. I totally think she is NTAH. Those parents are unreasonable and I would absolutely go no contact. It’s not fun growing up being afraid of your sibling.
On the 5th story I’m split 50-50. ( 29:01 ) Honestly I think it’d be a better punishment to make him earn every dollar back slowly and once he earns it all back I’d inform him that he is going to donate half to charity for his insensitive actions and words. I’d also make sure he understands the agonizing torture and brutality they endured.
So I've actually been through long bouts of celibacy myself with my fiance. We've agreed that boinking is basically the icing on the cake. If we never boinked again, we'd be just fine. We love each other and we're committed to each other. That man is my forever person and I'm ecstatic I get to spend the rest of my life with him 😊
I think there's absolutely nothing wrong with going celibate with a partner who's aware of it before making a long term commitment, but at the same time, sex is extremely important to a lot of people, so you can't blame someone for not being compatible with it and wanting to leave.
I'm glad you've found someone who's a good fit for you. I have a few asexual friends and it can definitely be hard out there in the romance world for them.
The timing that is sad about OP's story to me is that this woman obviously needs help and that the way she is using religion is extremely dangerous and unhealthy to herself and others(believing she is unworthy, irredeemable human who can only be forgiven through constant punishment and repentance.) It's even sadder that the OP seems to have these same dangerous religious views because he himself thinks she doesn't deserve happiness. Really crazy that, unless I missed something, the religion they're practicing sounds abrahamic, very possibly Christianity, which is often described by followers to be based on worshipping a man of infinite forgiveness and acceptance and being as much like him as possible.
OP should keep the heirloom engagement ring. This may be harsh, but many marriages end in divorce.If BIL gives the ring to his SO and they divorce, the ring is gone.The type of woman that would demand a dead man's ring right after his tragic death would absolutely keep the ring after a divorce. If OP keeps it then this ring symbolizes a perfect love, unsullied by a break up or divorce. They were happy together up until his death. I bet him and his grandmother would want her to have it always. If that all makes sense lol.
I have a key for disabled toilets too. Initially i bought it for my IBS, but now i might have either digestive issues too. I can confirm it's a life saver ❤❤❤
The fiance heirloom ring: I would let the family know I would be keeping the ring but would have it written into the will as returning to the family upon my death. If they want it back anytime soon, they'll have to kill me for it. 😅
The Ring story: I would give the ring back to OP's family ONLY if I ended up engaged to someone else or leave it to them in my will.
A girl in my grade was sleeping with a teacher that had a son in our grade. It was sophomore year of HS when it all came out and his wife was pregnant at the time.
8th story: don't know if i would keep it but if i did decide to return it i would return directly to the deceased husbands niece/nephews when they decided to marry and not the brother inlaw.
My Dad is partially paralyzed and while he can walk the bruises on his spinal cord make it so he cannot feel his parts. Meaning he has to self cath every single time he has to pee and wear depends because he literally cannot feel it if he has to go. Yea you can't see his disability but it's definitely there. I'd be so angry if someone treated him this way. Nta.
I have 4 kids 19-24. I get compliments all the time about them. They go out of their way to help. My son is going to school to work with special Ed students & I always had parents of autistic students tell me how much my son helps them……. That said I think the dad who took the sons money handled it completely wrong. All he did was push the son to actually hate that group. At that age for some reason kids see humor in all those things. What he should have done is educated his son. As a “date” day with my son when he was 12-13 we went to the museum of tolerance. Not because he ever spoke negatively but so that he could get a closer look. He should have had his son volunteer and get involved. But taking his money was nothing. I’m not a “let’s let kids sit and think about why they broke a plate” but I don’t think taking his money will do anything but cause bitterness. Teaching him why the jokes are hurtful and harmful is important. Coming face to face with the people he is offending and have had to deal with hate. At museum of tolerance they have holocaust survivors speak so we had the chance to meet with one and hear her story.
Good evening OkOp from Nigeria😊
She shamed someone with an invisible disability and forced him to tell her and nearby colleagues about his disability. That's private and nobody else's business. No-one did have to prove they're disabled enough. No-one is entitled to your personal, private, medical history.
can we plspls have more hour long vids!!! 😄🙏
We’ve gotten so 20-30m daily uploads!!
She should keep the ring and will it to the “heirloom” family when she passes away.
My own parking story.
I had a disable neighbor who asked to switch parking spots d/t mine being on the outside so if she backs up she can get out easier. I allowed it since it wasn't really any extra effort for me.
Well in one week during lunch she let someone park in her spot and I had to waste time finding a spot. I would go home for lunch to save money and only had so much time to heat up food. Since it was new that I was going home for lunch I kindly asked her after the second time to please not let it happen again since I had to park two building away and it took 15 mins out of a hour lunch (and I use 30 mins to drive ) . She kinda gave me attitude,but I just thought I was being sensitive. Well , it continued. A bit later I asked her again my husband was leaving our apartment and heard our conversation. The lady gave me even more attitude. So my husband walked up and told her she no longer can park on our space since she is using hers as well. She was nicer and asked to keep the original arrangement since she is disable. She said she was having a bad day and didn't mean ro take it out on me. He said no, and that's he end of it.
Well then she started to park on the line of the large parking space. Over time it changed to her whole wheel being over. We took photos and were in the process of having it towed per the management office if it happen again. Once she was going over the line.
Family assuming you as a sibling will care for your bro, is dangerous neglect
I have a radar key. It makes using the bathroom a pain in the ass if you forget it, though. Adhd sure, but if you don't have any physical issues, and a physically disabled person needs to use the bathroom (eg is literally waiting/queuing) then I'd like it if you'd let us use it if you're able to use the normal one, honestly that very rarely happens anyway (the queuing for disabled access toilets). But at the end of the day, I'm not going to question someone using a disabled bathroom just because I need a chair. I am also autistic and sometimes used the disabled stall (before I became physically disabled) when I was in sensory overload/at risk of meltdown because the small cubicle and lack of space to move around could increase the risk. If you can use a normal stall, awesome, but in places with radar keys, if you have one then you have a need and the majority of other disabled people wouldn't bat an eyelid lol. It's normally people who are accompanying disabled people that make a fuss if someone who isn't visibly disabled uses disabled facilities and THAT makes me angry
Anyone that is the beneficiary of someone's life support and uses none of that money to cover the funeral is an automatic AH...
He is an AH. Everyone deserves happiness -- even Kara.
Thank you I thought no one said this!
She has definitely shown enough repentance. She deserves forgiveness and she deserves to forgive herself 😢
Idk she apparently ruined multiple lives. Just because she "prayed her sins away" doesn't change the fact that she did horrible horrible things to people and ran away from those things to avoid actually facing responsibility. She just "turned to god". She hasn't repented. She hasn't shown she is actually atoned for her sins. Horrible people do deserve happiness, but only when they've stopped being horrible. Kara never did.
When it comes to disabled toilets if you have a stoma or nephrostomies the stoma association in ur area can sometimes provide you with a “disabled card” that can be pulled out if questioned at the bathroom
My daughter had a stoma when she was young and the stoma association gave us a card to use the disabled bathrooms which was a god send bc we have been called out by security for using the disabled toilets when it looked like we didn’t have a disability.
Once they viewed the card they apologised, but a disabled toilet isn’t just for wheelchair access, it’s for any disability. They r just made bigger for wheel chair access.
The high school story; I have a similar one but not me. My sister.
When we were younger my sister had a history. I didn’t know it until I reached high school myself (I’m 6 years younger) but she was infamous. When she was in hs she had gotten detention a lot. She never gave reasons why she was in detention but it was weird she’d be there well after 5pm when school gets out at 3pm and detention across every school level is only an hour (I never did my homework so I was familiar with the system since grade school). She’d always be weirdly happy after detention as well. She often talked about her history teacher and I remember she mentioned he had once asked what the students wanted for Christmas one year and she told him “I want the world and a kite”. Back then she’d be considered a pick me girl so her answer was cringe even in the late 90s. Before the holiday break he apparently gave her a kite and a stress ball that looked like the world. She treasured it so dearly until one day she went rabid. She tore up the kite, broke windows in the house, and stabbed the stress ball. My parents got a call about vandalism and my sister was on lock down in the house and heavily monitored until she signed up for the air force and left the house. Flash forward until I was a sophomore in high school myself and a teacher, at the end of the year, told me she was glad I was nothing like my older sister because the only trouble she ever had with me was me not doing homework. I laughed awkwardly and said yeah. I knew my sister was a bitch and assumed she was like that with the teachers as well because in comparison I tried to be invisible and off the radar. I was telling my friend about what the teacher had said and I laughed that it was weird but then my friend told me what their older brother, who went to school the same time as my sister did. I think he was a few years younger. Turns out my sister was having an affair with the history teacher when she was a minor and all those “detentions” were them hooking up in the school. The day my sister lost her shit was the day the teacher told her he wasn’t leaving his wife for her when she graduated and he wanted to stop the affair. My sister ended up keying his car, hence the call about vandalism and reported him for assault against a minor. His wife left him and the town we lived in with their kids and he was charged. I never really talked to anyone abt this until my oldest sister (the one who is older than the one who had the affair) told me when I was in my mid 20s when I visited as the topic of her (oldest sisters) stint in the mental hospital came up. Apparently our parents knew what affair sister had done because after the teacher was charged affair sister told everything to oldest sister and said she had no remorse making sure the teacher was sent to jail. Something along the lines of “if I can’t have him I’ll just ruin his life. That’ll teach him to not chose me over his bitch wife”. Oldest sister was concerned about the psychotic behavior affair sister had and told our parents about it saying affair sister needed to see a psychiatrist. They asked affair sister and she started crying and said she would never do something like that and the issue was let go. Months later oldest sister was put in a mental institution for severe suicidal ideations. She was pulled out of her room while studying, zip tied up by our father and forcefully thrown into the car to take her to the hospital while she was kicking and screaming in fear. Affair sister lied to our parents about older sister and manipulated older sisters boyfriend at the time to go along with the lie as payback for telling our parents what happened with her affair with the history teacher. Affair sister ruined so many lives when we were younger and I guess I was either too dumb or naive to see it. She never got to me though. Worst she said about me was that I was a lesbian to our religious mother which was why I joined the army. When I got married to a man she said it was probably because I was baby trapping him which I didn’t get pregnant until months later. She was never able to take me down and her life is miserable now.
Brother's life insurance money is wild- its actually illegal to not have your spouse as the beneficiary unless the spouse has been informed. He should offer half *pronto* and hope they don't realize they can sue for all of it.
Honestly I hope he gets sued, he sounds like an A$$. Seems he's punishing the grieving wife for what the parent's did to him. Wonderful guy. Would put hardship on the widow though, so yeah would be the better outcome to give or half whatever.
Honestly the first story of the disable bathroom. I am high-functioning autistic with Asperger's and I really don't like the regular bathrooms because I don't know it's kind of frustrating with me and I get nervous a lot. And I honestly feel safe going into the bathroom the disabled one but if I ever go into the other bathroom I never use the disabled the big stall in the public bathrooms because I don't know I just feel bad about that. But I feel more comfortable using disabled bathrooms than public. But I don't always do spicy anybody in a wheelchair and out of the store and everything I always use the public one in case even though it messes up with my anxiety now I don't always do that but. I still feel.
Yeah I understand your anxiety about it and I've worried before too. My wheelchair-using cousin says they don't think it's a big deal as long as there isn't a line for the bathroom. Sometimes people need more space to change clothes or there may be a baby changing station in there or they may be clostrophobic. As long as you're not in there for hours, it should be fine.
I don’t have a visible disability but I need the disabled bathroom for balance because I can fall when standing up of the toilet
I used the disabled bathroom right after I gave birth (3 times) for a few weeks and when I broke my foot. I also use the disabled bathroom if there is no family bathroom because I have 3 small children and if I shop without hubby, they are to small to be left alone for any period of time so we go together. Too many creeps out there.
If she’s disabled, why did she get a house/apartment without parking? That just seems like it would be a priority when looking for a place.🤔
My Dad suffers from an invisible disability..... he hates the people who treat people badly and called discrimination.
Accomodation is different from getting your own bathroom. ADA is about accommodating those with a handicap.
That is just awesome parenting taking your sons money and donating it. Your son is in the wrong and needs a good roll model to learn right from wrong. As a deputy sheriff you can’t get in trouble for donating his money, you are a parent and teaching your child a life lesson.
(Play stupid games, get stupid prizes.)
I don’t believe taking the money was the right move. The kid will just interpret that as passive aggression, because the money was not from him directly. It was not his to take. Donating it to charity will just enrage the child down the racist rabbit hole even further.
A better move would have been to withhold the money, and make his child volunteer for those charities. Exposure goes a long way to cure ignorance. With the kid’s mom feeding and validating his reaction, the kid will feel even more justified in his hate.
That Lamborghini vroom vroom line 😂😂😂
As a trans person the family bathroom/disabled bathroom is the safest place for me, I also have vertigo which can be classed as a disability.
The lawsuit from neighbor…OP must contact a lawyer asap…the pattern of behavior makes it seem like if this woman has started legal proceedings, she will ABSOLUTELY see it through. It’s really good that OP has cameras, I would suggest getting enough to cover every inch of their property…the neighbor will probably sneak onto their property to “document” all of the “dangerous” things OP does, and if paranoia is a symptom of her mental illness, she may be armed with a weapon of some kind…not necessarily a firearm, but better to not take any chances. If the neighbor has filed suit, they can’t ignore it, or that will be seen as “no contest,” and the neighbor may be awarded the $.
Its not the craziest story, but my mom n law gave away all her inheritance so she didnt have to deal with the drama and honestly.. i dont blame her. Sometimes it isn't worth the headache.
Currently my grandma is battling cancer and other health issues that are putting her in and out of the hospital. The vultures already are starting to circle. Its funny, they try to rope me into it, say ill get something... And every time i respond "i dont care, id rather have my grandma." I've never liked 'dead people money'; I even still have my 'inheritance' from my great grandma, I keep it because that is the only thing i have of her. I might have to use it when im desperate one day, but for now, i still have that piece of her.
He would want her to keep the ring. Let me ask you this. If they did get married and then he passed away. Should the family be able to ask for the ring back then? The answer is No. That is a simple of there Love. Now, when and if she remarries she can give the ring to one of the grandchildren of the family to keep it in their family. I would not give it to Jim and Stacy just because how the went about it. Now, I would call Jake’s parents and let them know what her plans are, just to give Jake’s parents that it will stay in the family. But, Jim and Stacy doesn’t deserve the ring.
I wouldn’t let some neighborhood creeper stop me from smoking my weed 😂. NTAH good riddance to him
29:10 one of my kids made some geometrically racist art. I made them read Maus with me and discuss it bit by bit. We talked about themes and racism and privilege. Then, their other parent worked through volunteer hours.
I’m disabled, but look like I 100% healthy person. I have hemplegic migraines (migraines with stroke like symptoms) so being able to use accessibility services is sometimes necessary. For example, I try to always get a seat on the train, but since I look like a healthy 22 year old, I have gotten nasty looks and comments about sitting in a disability seat. I’ve thought about getting aids to help me around the city as well as making my disability more visible to others. In general, people who have invisible illnesses are treated horribly by everyone since we don’t look sick and generally are living semi-normal lives.
As someone who has UC I genuinely hate when people say stuff like "you're perfectly healthy" or "there's nothing wrong with you" like man I can't walk around with my colon in my hands to showcase it just because yall assume disabilities have to be visible😑
I literally have a card that I carry with me that gives me access to all bathrooms due to my IBD