i absolutely adore it when op, despite going through a terrible journey during all the updates , starts talking about the friends they are making, the hobbies they are picking up, how their therapist is helping them. i just love it. i forget about what the story was even about in the first place.
Same here. It made me bawl. I'm so proud of them, and I hope they heal and find peace with their family. And they're very lucky to have such great neighbors who seem to be very understanding. I just wish I could give them a hug.
Same. Something tells me OP’s sister would be SO PROUD of them in that last update, especially the part where they say that their sister isn’t taking up every single thought they have anymore. What little OP said about the sister makes me think that she would absolutely hate that they’ve been drowning.
It would've been one thing if OP's mom discussed this with the entire family (not just the step-dad) and they all agreed but going behind their backs, changing the plans, lying to her family about where the ashes were for years, not telling her family why she did it and now not telling her family where the plot is has now officially killed any and all chances at reconciliation. Edit: I don't think we'll ever get the answer but I really want to know what OP's mom actually did with the ashes. A thousand different possibilities entered my mind and none of them good.
@@MCNarretMy grandma flushed my grandpas ashe’s down the toilet because she was mad at him. Mom was broken because of it. That was her dad. She was charged with malicious mischief. Didn’t know that was a thing.
I think it is very strange that you are allowed to not bury a dead person. In my country, after a cremation, the ashes are collected and kept locked up either at the crematorium or at the cemetery where the burial is to take place. It is not allowed to store ashes of a deceased person at home. Cremation must take place no later than one month after the death and the burial of the ashes must take place no later than one year after the cremation. If you want to spread them somewhere other that on a cemetery you have to get a permit.
@@ingegerdandersson6963 my mom kept my grandmother's ashes for many years (I grew up with the urn being in the house) before the family came together to spread them somewhere, I see no problem with that.
I remember this post. The moment they offered to sell them the plot, I immediately thought this was some plan between the mom and stepdad to effectively ransom money from her ex and kids. Honestly, I don't trust a single word that comes from that woman's mouth.
I just read the title alone and it had me like 😮 Edit: damn that final update made me kinda emotional, but at least she’s getting her life back on track even through all the mess her mom pulled. Wish her all the best.
I don't think mom did get rid of sisters ashes, she's just saying anything so she doesn't have to give some of the ashes over. The one thing I will say to Op is Therapy is not about the therapist telling you what you want to hear. It isn't about them just agreeing with you and affirming your feelings. Therapy is about taking a long hard look at yourself and working through your thoughts and feelings---the therapist will guide you but shouldn't be telling you how to think or feel. If you are looking for a therapist that will tell you what you want to hear rather than one who will talk you through what you need to process it isn't going to help you heal. a therapist that tells you what you want to hear isn't a therapist
22:00 did anyone else notice this? Or am l interrupting it wrong? Did the mother threaten op by saying she will “pour her ashes down the drain” referring to op’s sister’s ashes?
Could be a lie to get OP back into contact with her. She's been unclear about the ashes on purpose the entire time, so I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to pull something like that.
This is absolutely heartbreaking. The betrayal of trust, especially when it comes to something as sacred as a loved one’s ashes, is unimaginable. I can't imagine the pain of discovering something like this. I hope you find peace and closure somehow. You deserve honesty and respect. 💔
The mum had no right to be so selfish, everyone else suffered from losing OPs sister, the rubbish mum has no excuse, grieving or not. Everyone deserved to have some of her ashes if they wished to, the mum shouldn’t have lied
I can't even begin to imagine how devastating and confusing this situation must be for you. It's hard to process the depth of betrayal you must be feeling, especially when it involves something as deeply personal as your sister’s ashes. The actions described are not only hurtful but also undermine trust in family relationships. It's important for everyone to acknowledge and respect the emotional significance of such sensitive matters. I hope you're able to find support from those who care about you and take time to process your feelings. If you ever feel the need, talking to a professional might help navigate such complicated emotions. Stay strong and take care of yourself
Everybody deals with grief differently I had a C-section and after my baby passed I work nonstop until I felt like I was going to pass out even after 2 years I still take work for some form of therapy crazy but I do it
This is me leaving aside the lie. But it think the part when the mother did not want to destroy her dead daughter any further seem really important here. That neclace idea sounds more and more like a peer pressure thing ( from the motherboard point of view). Really overall failure of a mother though.
i absolutely adore it when op, despite going through a terrible journey during all the updates , starts talking about the friends they are making, the hobbies they are picking up, how their therapist is helping them. i just love it. i forget about what the story was even about in the first place.
Same here. It made me bawl. I'm so proud of them, and I hope they heal and find peace with their family. And they're very lucky to have such great neighbors who seem to be very understanding. I just wish I could give them a hug.
Same. Something tells me OP’s sister would be SO PROUD of them in that last update, especially the part where they say that their sister isn’t taking up every single thought they have anymore. What little OP said about the sister makes me think that she would absolutely hate that they’ve been drowning.
It would've been one thing if OP's mom discussed this with the entire family (not just the step-dad) and they all agreed but going behind their backs, changing the plans, lying to her family about where the ashes were for years, not telling her family why she did it and now not telling her family where the plot is has now officially killed any and all chances at reconciliation.
Edit: I don't think we'll ever get the answer but I really want to know what OP's mom actually did with the ashes. A thousand different possibilities entered my mind and none of them good.
There's your answer, the mother desecrated the ashes.
@@MCNarretMy grandma flushed my grandpas ashe’s down the toilet because she was mad at him. Mom was broken because of it. That was her dad. She was charged with malicious mischief. Didn’t know that was a thing.
I think it is very strange that you are allowed to not bury a dead person. In my country, after a cremation, the ashes are collected and kept locked up either at the crematorium or at the cemetery where the burial is to take place. It is not allowed to store ashes of a deceased person at home. Cremation must take place no later than one month after the death and the burial of the ashes must take place no later than one year after the cremation. If you want to spread them somewhere other that on a cemetery you have to get a permit.
@@ingegerdandersson6963 my mom kept my grandmother's ashes for many years (I grew up with the urn being in the house) before the family came together to spread them somewhere, I see no problem with that.
I remember this post. The moment they offered to sell them the plot, I immediately thought this was some plan between the mom and stepdad to effectively ransom money from her ex and kids. Honestly, I don't trust a single word that comes from that woman's mouth.
I’m glad op is slowly healing away from the toxic mother
Op becoming a part of the local community made me fucking weep
tbh this might be one of the sweetest op's, not spineless nor overly spiteful
If the mom couldn’t bare to ’destroy’ her daughter anymore. Why lie about the ashe’s? why not just tell them that? Something weird is going on…
Mom couldn't bare destroying the ash's but didn't mind threatening to flush them down the toilet wtf
I just read the title alone and it had me like 😮
Edit: damn that final update made me kinda emotional, but at least she’s getting her life back on track even through all the mess her mom pulled. Wish her all the best.
I want to congratulate OP for 100+ days now. This is such an amazing milestone
Lied about it for almost half a decade man Jesus
I don't think mom did get rid of sisters ashes, she's just saying anything so she doesn't have to give some of the ashes over.
The one thing I will say to Op is Therapy is not about the therapist telling you what you want to hear. It isn't about them just agreeing with you and affirming your feelings. Therapy is about taking a long hard look at yourself and working through your thoughts and feelings---the therapist will guide you but shouldn't be telling you how to think or feel.
If you are looking for a therapist that will tell you what you want to hear rather than one who will talk you through what you need to process it isn't going to help you heal. a therapist that tells you what you want to hear isn't a therapist
22:00 did anyone else notice this? Or am l interrupting it wrong? Did the mother threaten op by saying she will “pour her ashes down the drain” referring to op’s sister’s ashes?
Yeah, I jeard that too. So that means she still has the ashes, right?
Could be a lie to get OP back into contact with her. She's been unclear about the ashes on purpose the entire time, so I wouldn't be surprised if she tried to pull something like that.
8 mins in,the step dad is scummy af
This is absolutely heartbreaking. The betrayal of trust, especially when it comes to something as sacred as a loved one’s ashes, is unimaginable. I can't imagine the pain of discovering something like this. I hope you find peace and closure somehow. You deserve honesty and respect. 💔
The mum had no right to be so selfish, everyone else suffered from losing OPs sister, the rubbish mum has no excuse, grieving or not. Everyone deserved to have some of her ashes if they wished to, the mum shouldn’t have lied
OP and other family members essentially had to grieve the loss again because they lost what they thought was her ashes
title had me jaw dropped
I'm like: WHAT THE FRICK 😮
14:34 I would've taken the ashes of the burnt crafts and mailed them to her xD
The stepfather is such a doormat for acting like the motive is not important.
“Losing a loved one, is unbearable. Losing a child in a war is just unimaginable-“
Stop being cruel but you put their sisters ashes on an abandoned plot without telling anyone? 😭
I can't even begin to imagine how devastating and confusing this situation must be for you. It's hard to process the depth of betrayal you must be feeling, especially when it involves something as deeply personal as your sister’s ashes. The actions described are not only hurtful but also undermine trust in family relationships. It's important for everyone to acknowledge and respect the emotional significance of such sensitive matters. I hope you're able to find support from those who care about you and take time to process your feelings. If you ever feel the need, talking to a professional might help navigate such complicated emotions. Stay strong and take care of yourself
This is terrible that horrid woman needs to be in prison.
Make mom disclose the plot info before you will consider purchase so that you can do a title search
Everybody deals with grief differently I had a C-section and after my baby passed I work nonstop until I felt like I was going to pass out even after 2 years I still take work for some form of therapy crazy but I do it
Mom didn't say a thing because she knew she messed up
Never talk to your mom again
OP'S mother & step dad are Evil.
🕊️🕊️
This is me leaving aside the lie. But it think the part when the mother did not want to destroy her dead daughter any further seem really important here. That neclace idea sounds more and more like a peer pressure thing ( from the motherboard point of view). Really overall failure of a mother though.
Yeah, no wonder a therapist isn't working if he's playing pretend games with his identity.
he???
Very slight overreaction