Oh man this was really touching. I lost my father a few years back, he passed away in a chair all alone too. We were estranged as well. I am sorry for your loss.
I don't know how I missed replying to this comment....9 years ago now. I am sorry for that, and I am sorry for your loss and estrangement from your father. I hope you are well.
Thanks for sharing, it was very moving. I'm very sorry to hear that you've lost your father, but I'm also glad that you're able to share your pain with others. It's so easy to let this sort of thing fester inside of you, and I'm very glad that's not what you're doing. I wish you the best of luck in moving forward.
Mike, I’m so sorry for your very real loss. That’s a really rough bit of road. Thank you for sharing this with us, I’m glad you felt you could. I’ve been grateful that my Dad and I found a way to have a relationship after barely knowing each other for over a decade. We did up a wrecked house together. I guess we both instinctively knew it was the only way either of us could really relate to completely different people from ourselves, by working together. Hearing your story reminds me how lucky we’ve been. This will probably be our last christmas together and you've reminded me that it matters. Take care Mike and thanks again, Joe.
Sorry to hear about your Father. I lost my Father in September of this year as well. I sat with him as he took his last breath. Everyday I remember something else I wish I had asked him or shared with him. I miss him more than I can say.
Authentic and heart-wrenching, this should make us all remember how important basic relationships are. You will be in my thoughts Mike thank you very much for sharing this with us.
Sad to hear the news - my thoughts are with you - especially since I'm flying out tonight to visit my father for possibly the last time . . . he is in his late 70's and in the latter stages of Parkinson's. I've gotta be honest - your video made me cry . . . My father made a choice when him and my mom divorced - he would not be involved in my life. I was 7 - the youngest of 5 boys. All my older brothers had dad as a hockey and baseball coach or scout leader . . . I went without . . . ironically enough, I was the only son to keep in constant contact with him . . . and, yet, I still don't know him. Thank you for your honesty and openness . . . I get the feeling that I might just be making a video or 2 of my own over the coming 2 weeks about my feelings in regards to my father and death and relationships . . . a
That was incredibly moving. The holidays are the time of year when people who are estranged from loved ones feel that estrangement most acutely. Your story may motivate them to take steps to reconcile instead of putting it off for another day. I hope you will go through with your plans to share your thoughts on family relationships. Thanks for allowing yourself to be so confessional and vulnerable. I wish you and your family my heartfelt condolences. - Ozy
I really appreciated this video. And it is good to know that you are open and not left alone with your thoughts. I can only echo what Brett said and perhaps add that it is within your power to choose those memories of your father that you want to dwell on and strengthen. Remember and celebrate the renaissance man you had the privilege to know.
I offer my sincere condolences. It's rough losing someone you love, one thing you find though is that they seem to still be there within your thoughts and hearts. They are gone but don't have to be forgotten. Such a touching story, you'll be in my thoughts.
As usual, I am impressed with your candeur and honesty. I'm yet another guy that relates to this -- a strained relationship, never resolved, and my father passing away with little direct contact or reconciliation with me. It seems to be quite common. It sounds like you were a good son and that your father's bipolar disorder is largely to blame for the estrangement. While grieving and remorse have their place and need to be processed, I think your father probably would not have wanted his lasting legacy in your mind to be predominantly a feeling of regret. It's a mistake I made myself, and just prolonged the grieving by years. If I may suggest one thing, it would be to honour him by focusing on the good that he did and was. That's likely what he would have preferred. My 2 cents.
Mike, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I am glad you are opening up and talking about it, I think it will help. I look forward to your videos talking more about your dad and his mental illness, I think we can all learn a lot as my mom was schizophrenic and I had a very hard time understanding her, much less relating to her. As I got older she became more paranoid and angry. I almost had to relate to her through animals, she loved cats and I used that kind of a by proxy way of connecting to her. She passed in in 99 and I feel shes at "rest". Mental illness is so demonized and misunderstood...Even though you maybe were estranged for 13 years seems like he was with you all along and you with him.
Man, my deepest heartfelt condolences go out to you. You're a chip off the ol' block when it comes to intelligence and love of knowledge. Your father would be proud of you. Keep your head up!
i am very sorry to hear about your loss. Like several others who have posted, i too am estranged from my father (nearly three decades now). i cannot truly understand what you're feeling, but perhaps i can empathize a little. i'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your videos. In the short while i've been subscribed, i've come to really appreciate your thoughtfulness and cordiality.
This is a very sad story and I'm sorry for you. Being distant from my own, now deceased father made me realise how vitally important are the families we create for ourselves. Not much confort for you in the heat of this moment, I guess, but I hope you will come to that realisation, too.
I'm sorry. Mental illness can be devastating in a family and bipolar disorder is one they haven't found a good medication for, at least one that works well for most and doesn't have massive side effects. It seems to me that people who are not on good terms with their parents are hurt worse by their deaths than those who get along. You are right. He got a raw deal and so did you. I hope telling us about it helped. Know that we all wish we had some way to provide more comfort than saying "Sorry for your loss".
I loved my dad too, but everyone loved him so it was easy. I see it was harder for you. My dad also died in bits from age 93-95, so his actual death was almost a non event. Again, you had it harder. I wish you the best.
The greatest thing that we can do for those we admire is be a monument to them and their effects on our lives. It's sad that you were not able to reconcile, but the great person that you are today, as far as I can tell, is, in part, the result of the person that you admired in your father, so in a sense, reconciliation was never necessary as the person he was before the illness messed him up is a part of you. At least that is how I've always thought about these things.
We send our condolences and know that our hearts break with you. Thanks for making this video because your honesty and passion resonates with us---you have our love and support. ~michael & rhonda jones
It makes me wonder. How many people let a relationship go, forsaking it in hopes of making amends in the afterlife? That's how I used to be. Not anymore. It's here and now for me. Life is too short. Try to have at least an "event free" pagan Mithra *Sol Invictus* (I think I spelled it right) day & New Year.
We don't know each other but if you ever need an ear to bend, I happen to have two of them. I am usually good with words but right now all I can think about is how much I miss my father and what you are going through with the loss of a parent. I hope that this video is a good start to the grieving process and I hope that you never forget the fond memories of your father. Cathartic moment for me now too. Take care.
I am so sorry for your loss. My own father and I have been estranged for many years. In 2 days, he will be coming to my house to meet my 13 year old daughter and to stay with us for a few days over the holidays. You and your father will be in my thoughts this holiday season. Illness sucks. Death sucks.
So sorry for your loss Mike, he can be proud of his son. My mother is 87 and I never get to tell her how much I appreciate her and love her. I know she wont be around much longer, only yesterday I decided that I'd write her a letter and put into words everything she means to me. Sometimes it's only when people close to us are no longer there that we really appreciate them. My sincere condolences.
Mike, my heart goes out to you dude, it sounds, as hard as it might be right now, that you may have made the right decision in protecting your family, at least in letting him know where you live.
I'm also really sorry for your loss. It seems to me so incredible when I look back on my life,some of the things that have happened I could have never have imagined them. I never knew life took some of the strange twists and turns it has. I never even knew some of these things existed. I am grateful to my dad for that. His childhhod was so terrible he made sure mine was better. Alzeimer's took my dad what a terrible disease. I had no idea alzeimer's did to anybody what it did to my dad.
I'm sorry for your loss, and the circumstances surrounding it. It's always harder when things are left unresolved. I will have to be careful with my dad, as we both can be hotheaded and stubborn. Know that you honor your dad with how you conduct yourself on this channel, and hold to the find memories. The memories of what made you you. I think what makes me saddest is that your kids didn't get to know him. On a separate note, be aware as you and your brother age, and try to identify any signs before things go to far, should this be genetic. Even if you do, there may not be much to stem the tide, but if you are aware, abd your children are, you may be able to change the ending of the story. Be well.
One of the saddest under discussed facts of life is that the parents we had when we were growing up, who we had a relationship with whilst young adults, are sometimes not the 'same people' when we are older adults. We cope with it. And there is support to help with it. But there isn't enough help and support with the basic fact that we are essentially grieving for a personality that is no longer there even if the person is still alive. Especially if you witness their torment with mental illness or dementia or severe ill health. I have great empathy and sympathy for you. Take care.
I am very sorry to hear this sad new. I can not imagine what you are feeling right now. I don't know if it helps but my heart goes out to ya man. Hang in there.
I'm very sorry that you were unable to reconcile matters with your dad before he died. I'm sure that one part of his mind wanted to regain the relationship you once shared but an unresolved emotional irrationality prevented him from doing so. From what I can see, there's nothing more that you could have done to make this happen.
I'd give anything to be able to come over and spend the rest of the evening with you, Cap. Just to be there for ya. Have someone to talk to. I hope these few words can be of some minor comfort for you. You're in my thoughts tonight. Hang in there, my friend.
I am so sorry about your father. I can't imagine there being anything I, or anyone else, can say to ease your grief. Just know that you have friends here, and if you need to vent, I for one will be sure to lend an ear.
I'm sorry bout your dad. I lost my mom last year. She was not a good person but she was my mom and I loved her and hurts just the same. The only video I ever uploaded to youtube was a tribute to my mom. Again so sorry.
I can partially sympathize... I am currently estranged from my own father as well as most of my family... none have died though, so I can't truely imagine what you feel, although I assume I may know it al too well fairly soon as these things go. My thoughts are with you.
Thanks so much, I appreciate that. Bipolar really is a thief isn't it? I was looking at pics of my dad many years ago....such promise and vitality. I hate what that disease did to him, and to our relationship. Thanks again for your humanity.
I'm sorry you weren't able to mend your relationship before your father died. Although it may seem tragic to think that maybe a reconciliation was possible and you just just didn't get there in time, you don't know what would have come of that. I hope can take comfort in knowing that at least it was something he had been thinking about too.
Many times we can't choose how things will work out, we can do our best and things will end wrong no matter what, in the end, we can only come forward and face the things as they are. Hang in there, I am sorry for all that went wrong, but in the end only you can reconcile things now, so keep looking after him in your mind and your memories, forget the hurtful ones, remember the good ones. Cry what you need to cry, and then keep on smiling, I am sorry for your loss, and if you need to talk, just pm me, keep going.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you at this time. I actually went through a very similar situation with my own father and I can understand some of what you're going through. He had been a gentle man until his own father was killed by a car when they were both crossing the road. Although seriously injured while trying to save his father he blamed himself for his death. Depression set in and went untreated. He changed massively. He was no longer the loving, happy father we had grown up with. As the eldest of 5 sons I seemed to come in for the brunt of his misdirected anger. I fell out with him after one particularly bad incident in the house and we didn't speak for 10 years. I did however get to reconcile with him near the end. He was diagnosed with leukaemia and we were told he would not recover. We had 6 weeks to catch up on lost time. It wasn't enough. So many wasted opportunities and experiences that we lost out on. I was angry for a time but I've buried it with him. He's gone and nothing can change what happened and I accept that. I remember the good times and the man he was. That's how he'd like it. I hope you too can find some measure of peace in remembering the man your father once was. Take care.
Please, don't let anyone tell you when to stop grieving. I've lost 3 of the 4 closes people to me in the last 2 1/2 years, one was my wife of 40 years 2 1/2 years ago. My mother last year and my father this year. We all have things that we so wish we could have said and/or done. I wish I was there to listen, hold the ones you love a little closer. Best wishes. Paul
+pauldhoff Not to be a downer but that is now 4 of the 5 closes people to me, a woman that I called mother died a year ago. The 5th person that I still have is my son. Paul
Found this by random happenstance. I know it's been ten years by now, but I'm still sorry about your loss. My mother also has severe bipolar disorder. I know how it can affect people and what it means to be the child of someone with that disease.
Thank you, and my compassion to you and your mother. It's really rotten...an awful hand to be dealt. Best wishes to you and thank you for your kind words. Ten years eases the pain but it doesn't heal the wounds entirely. Cheers
Don't you think it's rather insensitive and opportunist to say that you're praying for someone, during their time of loss, when you know he is not a superstitious theist and in fact is very outspoken about the many harms and follies of such belief, and will take no comfort in your promise to appeal to your imaginary overlord for comfort? I suggest that next time you simply express personal sympathy and camaraderie, and not say that you're going to call in a favor with your invisible superman whose morality the mourner finds unenlightened and atavistic at best.
TheAnniepies I don't take issue with Len's comment and I suspect Mike will not either, I take Len's sentiment as genuine while granting the possibility that it may not be, but unlike Len, I am unable to read peoples minds and know their hearts, so I suggest we give Len the benefit of the doubt... even though he may not return the favor :)
Just watched the video by CapreciousBlackBox - Goodbye Dad, and I honestly wonder why one would choose these words "Sorry for your loss Mike, praying for your family. I am moved to respond partially on his behalf and partially on the behalf of future grief suffers. Your offer of condolence was as empty of empathy as I can imagine. Mike is an outspoken atheist and all around good guy and you telling him you are "praying" for his family insults rather than comforts. Not knowing you I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and chalk this up to Condolence ad ignorantiam rather than deliberate evil.
Matthew4Nineteen Thanks Len, I'll gladly accept your kind words in the spirit they were intended. To those speaking out about it, just know that I take only positive from this....Len is offering that which he holds dearest and I don't take that lightly. I appreciate you all.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. 10 years speeds by pretty fast....and yes I am a lot better now. I still think of him often and the estrangement still stings, but time has smoothed over the wound pretty well. Cheers to you.
Mental illness is a terible thing. I guess we share something besides the migraines, in my case it's my sister, she suffers from Schizophrenia. Hang in there, man. Un abrazo.
I know that M419 made a comment about "praying for you", I'm sure this wasn't meant as some kind of dig at you and your personal atheist beliefs. I believe it was said as a genuine act of brotherly love and sincere condolence from his Christian viewpoint. This isn't a time for any kind of "getting one over on the opposition", but more of a laying down of weapons so to speak.
Yes, I took Len's words in the spirit they were intended. Regardless of my stance on prayer etc, I never turn down any positive sentiment that truly comes from the heart, which I firmly believe his did. If we remember for a moment that prayer is something he holds dear, we can see those words were heart-felt indeed. Thanks for your comment, and for everything. I really do love you people.
I think dying is a natural thing. I think many of us have lost a relative or friend at or near the "end of life" (i.e.: very elderly) who is "ready" and we accept it much more easily, sometimes even with some relief. Sudden or tragic deaths get my label of "shitty." I've spent the past few days as you can imagine lamenting over the lost opportunity to re-connect, but also with many incredibly fond memories. My dad really was larger than life....well respected and loved, and very eccentric. His rare character transcended his illness as difficult as the manifestation of that illness became. Many in his community have already expressed their desire to participate in a celebration of life even though like me they were forced to disconnect from him over the years; they remember the Joe they knew very fondly. I have been buoyed by the comments left on this video in a way I cannot convey....I'm simply blown away by the humanity expressed here. We are still dealing with all the usual minutia that surrounds a family death along with preparations for Christmas, but I plan to make a video update sometime after Christmas to let everyone know how I'm doing etc. I think this experience might just be the impetus I need to take my channel in a new direction and put the presuppositional stuff to rest. There are bigger, far more important fish to fry. Cheers, Mike.
Oh man this was really touching. I lost my father a few years back, he passed away in a chair all alone too. We were estranged as well. I am sorry for your loss.
I don't know how I missed replying to this comment....9 years ago now. I am sorry for that, and I am sorry for your loss and estrangement from your father. I hope you are well.
Thanks for sharing, it was very moving. I'm very sorry to hear that you've lost your father, but I'm also glad that you're able to share your pain with others. It's so easy to let this sort of thing fester inside of you, and I'm very glad that's not what you're doing. I wish you the best of luck in moving forward.
I am really sorry for your loss but thankful to you for sharing it with us. Best wishes
That’s really hard sorry for your situation.
Your helping me realize how important my family is to me.
That warms my heat to hear....and what a wonderful legacy for my dad too. Cheers.
Sorry to hear about your loss. You and your family are in my thoughts.
Mike, I’m so sorry for your very real loss.
That’s a really rough bit of road. Thank you for sharing this with us, I’m glad you felt you could.
I’ve been grateful that my Dad and I found a way to have a relationship after barely knowing each other for over a decade. We did up a wrecked house together. I guess we both instinctively knew it was the only way either of us could really relate to completely different people from ourselves, by working together. Hearing your story reminds me how lucky we’ve been. This will probably be our last christmas together and you've reminded me that it matters.
Take care Mike and thanks again,
Joe.
I'm sorry, brother. Much love to you.
Thanks for sharing this. I can relate to so much of that. Love from me and the family.
no words to say,..... just thank you for being authentic and vulnerable, I hug you!
Sorry to hear about your Father. I lost my Father in September of this year as well. I sat with him as he took his last breath. Everyday I remember something else I wish I had asked him or shared with him. I miss him more than I can say.
Authentic and heart-wrenching, this should make us all remember how important basic relationships are. You will be in my thoughts Mike thank you very much for sharing this with us.
Sorry to hear this. Thanks for all the sharing you do.
Very sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing.
Hang in there. Thank you for sharing.
Sad to hear the news - my thoughts are with you - especially since I'm flying out tonight to visit my father for possibly the last time . . . he is in his late 70's and in the latter stages of Parkinson's. I've gotta be honest - your video made me cry . . .
My father made a choice when him and my mom divorced - he would not be involved in my life. I was 7 - the youngest of 5 boys. All my older brothers had dad as a hockey and baseball coach or scout leader . . . I went without . . . ironically enough, I was the only son to keep in constant contact with him . . . and, yet, I still don't know him.
Thank you for your honesty and openness . . . I get the feeling that I might just be making a video or 2 of my own over the coming 2 weeks about my feelings in regards to my father and death and relationships . . . a
I'm sorry to hear that
Moving tribute. And courageous of you to turn the camera on yourself in such a raw emotional state.
I'm really sorry Mike....thank you for sharing this with us. I relate to your story on many levels.... my thoughts are with you.
That was incredibly moving. The holidays are the time of year when people who are estranged from loved ones feel that estrangement most acutely. Your story may motivate them to take steps to reconcile instead of putting it off for another day.
I hope you will go through with your plans to share your thoughts on family relationships. Thanks for allowing yourself to be so confessional and vulnerable.
I wish you and your family my heartfelt condolences.
- Ozy
I really appreciated this video. And it is good to know that you are open and not left alone with your thoughts. I can only echo what Brett said and perhaps add that it is within your power to choose those memories of your father that you want to dwell on and strengthen. Remember and celebrate the renaissance man you had the privilege to know.
We understand our parents when we learn their story. So sorry for your pain.
Sorry for your loss.You have my deep respect for sharing something so personal and painful in such a honest and dignified way.
I'm sorry to hear about your Dad. It's a bad time of year to lose someone. I'll be thinking about you.
So sorry for your loss. I'm estranged from my own father so this strikes very close to home for me.
I offer my sincere condolences. It's rough losing someone you love, one thing you find though is that they seem to still be there within your thoughts and hearts. They are gone but don't have to be forgotten. Such a touching story, you'll be in my thoughts.
As usual, I am impressed with your candeur and honesty. I'm yet another guy that relates to this -- a strained relationship, never resolved, and my father passing away with little direct contact or reconciliation with me. It seems to be quite common.
It sounds like you were a good son and that your father's bipolar disorder is largely to blame for the estrangement. While grieving and remorse have their place and need to be processed, I think your father probably would not have wanted his lasting legacy in your mind to be predominantly a feeling of regret. It's a mistake I made myself, and just prolonged the grieving by years. If I may suggest one thing, it would be to honour him by focusing on the good that he did and was. That's likely what he would have preferred.
My 2 cents.
Mike, I am so sorry for the pain you are feeling right now. I am glad you are opening up and talking about it, I think it will help. I look forward to your videos talking more about your dad and his mental illness, I think we can all learn a lot as my mom was schizophrenic and I had a very hard time understanding her, much less relating to her. As I got older she became more paranoid and angry. I almost had to relate to her through animals, she loved cats and I used that kind of a by proxy way of connecting to her. She passed in in 99 and I feel shes at "rest". Mental illness is so demonized and misunderstood...Even though you maybe were estranged for 13 years seems like he was with you all along and you with him.
Man, my deepest heartfelt condolences go out to you. You're a chip off the ol' block when it comes to intelligence and love of knowledge. Your father would be proud of you. Keep your head up!
Im really sorry to hear that
Thank you for caring enough to say that!
@@CapriciousBlackBox your welcome
Hugs CapriciousBlackBox!!!!
So sorry to hear about your loss! :(
So sorry for your loss. The loss of a parent is always hard.
I'm very sorry to hear this, Mike. My heart goes out to you and your family.
i am very sorry to hear about your loss. Like several others who have posted, i too am estranged from my father (nearly three decades now). i cannot truly understand what you're feeling, but perhaps i can empathize a little.
i'd like to take this opportunity to thank you for your videos. In the short while i've been subscribed, i've come to really appreciate your thoughtfulness and cordiality.
This is a very sad story and I'm sorry for you. Being distant from my own, now deceased father made me realise how vitally important are the families we create for ourselves. Not much confort for you in the heat of this moment, I guess, but I hope you will come to that realisation, too.
I'm sorry. Mental illness can be devastating in a family and bipolar disorder is one they haven't found a good medication for, at least one that works well for most and doesn't have massive side effects.
It seems to me that people who are not on good terms with their parents are hurt worse by their deaths than those who get along.
You are right. He got a raw deal and so did you. I hope telling us about it helped. Know that we all wish we had some way to provide more comfort than saying "Sorry for your loss".
I loved my dad too, but everyone loved him so it was easy. I see it was harder for you. My dad also died in bits from age 93-95, so his actual death was almost a non event. Again, you had it harder. I wish you the best.
Sometimes, life just drops a bomb. It wasn't something you could control and you should bear no guilt for the things you couldn't help.
I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
My sincere condolences.
The greatest thing that we can do for those we admire is be a monument to them and their effects on our lives.
It's sad that you were not able to reconcile, but the great person that you are today, as far as I can tell, is, in part, the result of the person that you admired in your father, so in a sense, reconciliation was never necessary as the person he was before the illness messed him up is a part of you.
At least that is how I've always thought about these things.
We send our condolences and know that our hearts break with you. Thanks for making this video because your honesty and passion resonates with us---you have our love and support. ~michael & rhonda jones
Thank you both so much!
So sorry about the news. It is very difficult to lose those close to us. Take care.
I can only echo that which has been said so many times here already. I am sorry for your loss, my thoughts are with you.
My condolences. Sorry to hear it.
It makes me wonder. How many people let a relationship go, forsaking it in hopes of making amends in the afterlife?
That's how I used to be. Not anymore. It's here and now for me. Life is too short.
Try to have at least an "event free" pagan Mithra *Sol Invictus* (I think I spelled it right) day & New Year.
I am truly sorry for you loss my friend.
We don't know each other but if you ever need an ear to bend, I happen to have two of them. I am usually good with words but right now all I can think about is how much I miss my father and what you are going through with the loss of a parent. I hope that this video is a good start to the grieving process and I hope that you never forget the fond memories of your father. Cathartic moment for me now too. Take care.
I am so sorry for your loss. My own father and I have been estranged for many years. In 2 days, he will be coming to my house to meet my 13 year old daughter and to stay with us for a few days over the holidays. You and your father will be in my thoughts this holiday season. Illness sucks. Death sucks.
I'm sorry for your loss, CBB. You take care of yourself and try not to get hung up in regrets.
So sorry for your loss Mike, he can be proud of his son. My mother is 87 and I never get to tell her how much I appreciate her and love her. I know she wont be around much longer, only yesterday I decided that I'd write her a letter and put into words everything she means to me. Sometimes it's only when people close to us are no longer there that we really appreciate them. My sincere condolences.
Mike, my heart goes out to you dude, it sounds, as hard as it might be right now, that you may have made the right decision in protecting your family, at least in letting him know where you live.
I'm also really sorry for your loss. It seems to me so incredible when I look back on my life,some of the things that have happened I could have never have imagined them. I never knew life took some of the strange twists and turns it has. I never even knew some of these things existed. I am grateful to my dad for that. His childhhod was so terrible he made sure mine was better. Alzeimer's took my dad what a terrible disease. I had no idea alzeimer's did to anybody what it did to my dad.
Deepest sympathies.
I'm sorry for your loss, and the circumstances surrounding it. It's always harder when things are left unresolved. I will have to be careful with my dad, as we both can be hotheaded and stubborn.
Know that you honor your dad with how you conduct yourself on this channel, and hold to the find memories. The memories of what made you you.
I think what makes me saddest is that your kids didn't get to know him.
On a separate note, be aware as you and your brother age, and try to identify any signs before things go to far, should this be genetic. Even if you do, there may not be much to stem the tide, but if you are aware, abd your children are, you may be able to change the ending of the story.
Be well.
My condolences...
One of the saddest under discussed facts of life is that the parents we had when we were growing up, who we had a relationship with whilst young adults, are sometimes not the 'same people' when we are older adults.
We cope with it. And there is support to help with it. But there isn't enough help and support with the basic fact that we are essentially grieving for a personality that is no longer there even if the person is still alive. Especially if you witness their torment with mental illness or dementia or severe ill health.
I have great empathy and sympathy for you. Take care.
My thoughts are with you now and in the days to come.
My heart goes out to you. Best regards.
I am very sorry to hear this sad new. I can not imagine what you are feeling right now. I don't know if it helps but my heart goes out to ya man. Hang in there.
I'm very sorry that you were unable to reconcile matters with your dad before he died. I'm sure that one part of his mind wanted to regain the relationship you once shared but an unresolved emotional irrationality prevented him from doing so. From what I can see, there's nothing more that you could have done to make this happen.
I'd give anything to be able to come over and spend the rest of the evening with you, Cap. Just to be there for ya. Have someone to talk to. I hope these few words can be of some minor comfort for you. You're in my thoughts tonight.
Hang in there, my friend.
I am so sorry about your father. I can't imagine there being anything I, or anyone else, can say to ease your grief. Just know that you have friends here, and if you need to vent, I for one will be sure to lend an ear.
I'm sorry bout your dad. I lost my mom last year. She was not a good person but she was my mom and I loved her and hurts just the same. The only video I ever uploaded to youtube was a tribute to my mom.
Again so sorry.
My thoughts are with you Mike.
I can partially sympathize... I am currently estranged from my own father as well as most of my family... none have died though, so I can't truely imagine what you feel, although I assume I may know it al too well fairly soon as these things go.
My thoughts are with you.
My deepest sympathies to you for your loss. I know how difficult bipolar can be on relationships.
Thanks so much, I appreciate that. Bipolar really is a thief isn't it? I was looking at pics of my dad many years ago....such promise and vitality. I hate what that disease did to him, and to our relationship. Thanks again for your humanity.
I'm ten years late but I’d still like to give my condolences to you. I hope you’re doing well
Thanks so much for that....it's heartwarming to have strangers stop by and give kind words. I'm doing well, thanks.....cheers to you.
I'm sorry you weren't able to mend your relationship before your father died. Although it may seem tragic to think that maybe a reconciliation was possible and you just just didn't get there in time, you don't know what would have come of that. I hope can take comfort in knowing that at least it was something he had been thinking about too.
Take care and remember the good times.
Many times we can't choose how things will work out, we can do our best and things will end wrong no matter what, in the end, we can only come forward and face the things as they are.
Hang in there, I am sorry for all that went wrong, but in the end only you can reconcile things now, so keep looking after him in your mind and your memories, forget the hurtful ones, remember the good ones.
Cry what you need to cry, and then keep on smiling, I am sorry for your loss, and if you need to talk, just pm me, keep going.
That was beautiful.
I'm deeply sorry for your loss and my thoughts are with you at this time. I actually went through a very similar situation with my own father and I can understand some of what you're going through. He had been a gentle man until his own father was killed by a car when they were both crossing the road. Although seriously injured while trying to save his father he blamed himself for his death. Depression set in and went untreated. He changed massively. He was no longer the loving, happy father we had grown up with. As the eldest of 5 sons I seemed to come in for the brunt of his misdirected anger. I fell out with him after one particularly bad incident in the house and we didn't speak for 10 years. I did however get to reconcile with him near the end. He was diagnosed with leukaemia and we were told he would not recover. We had 6 weeks to catch up on lost time. It wasn't enough. So many wasted opportunities and experiences that we lost out on. I was angry for a time but I've buried it with him. He's gone and nothing can change what happened and I accept that. I remember the good times and the man he was. That's how he'd like it. I hope you too can find some measure of peace in remembering the man your father once was. Take care.
Please, don't let anyone tell you when to stop grieving. I've lost 3 of the 4 closes people to me in the last 2 1/2 years, one was my wife of 40 years 2 1/2 years ago. My mother last year and my father this year. We all have things that we so wish we could have said and/or done. I wish I was there to listen, hold the ones you love a little closer. Best wishes.
Paul
Merry Christmas, Paul. Look forward!
+pauldhoff Not to be a downer but that is now 4 of the 5 closes people to me, a woman that I called mother died a year ago. The 5th person that I still have is my son. Paul
+pauldhoff I'm so sorry to hear that Paul…..my best wishes to you.
Thanks.
Im so sorry to hear of you loss
I'm sorry for your loss.
Very sorry for your loss.
Found this by random happenstance. I know it's been ten years by now, but I'm still sorry about your loss.
My mother also has severe bipolar disorder. I know how it can affect people and what it means to be the child of someone with that disease.
Thank you, and my compassion to you and your mother. It's really rotten...an awful hand to be dealt. Best wishes to you and thank you for your kind words. Ten years eases the pain but it doesn't heal the wounds entirely. Cheers
Sorry for your loss Mike, praying for your family. Peace to you...
Don't you think it's rather insensitive and opportunist to say that you're praying for someone, during their time of loss, when you know he is not a superstitious theist and in fact is very outspoken about the many harms and follies of such belief, and will take no comfort in your promise to appeal to your imaginary overlord for comfort?
I suggest that next time you simply express personal sympathy and camaraderie, and not say that you're going to call in a favor with your invisible superman whose morality the mourner finds unenlightened and atavistic at best.
TheAnniepies I don't take issue with Len's comment and I suspect Mike will not either, I take Len's sentiment as genuine while granting the possibility that it may not be, but unlike Len, I am unable to read peoples minds and know their hearts, so I suggest we give Len the benefit of the doubt... even though he may not return the favor :)
Just watched the video by CapreciousBlackBox - Goodbye Dad, and I honestly wonder why one would choose these words "Sorry for your loss Mike, praying for your family. I am moved to respond partially on his behalf and partially on the behalf of future grief suffers. Your offer of condolence was as empty of empathy as I can imagine. Mike is an outspoken atheist and all around good guy and you telling him you are "praying" for his family insults rather than comforts. Not knowing you I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and chalk this up to Condolence ad ignorantiam rather than deliberate evil.
Its the thought that counts. Maybe save that argument for another video.
Matthew4Nineteen Thanks Len, I'll gladly accept your kind words in the spirit they were intended. To those speaking out about it, just know that I take only positive from this....Len is offering that which he holds dearest and I don't take that lightly. I appreciate you all.
10 years later, hope you're better now, at least, man.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. 10 years speeds by pretty fast....and yes I am a lot better now. I still think of him often and the estrangement still stings, but time has smoothed over the wound pretty well. Cheers to you.
sorry for your loss
I am sorry for your loss!
Thank you so much....that is very kind of you.
You're welcome!
My ex was said to be bipolar, it was miserable
@@VEHICROS it’s really awful for sure…..for everyone involved.
Just want to again say, I am thinking about you. I hope you are have a soothing holiday.
Hope you're ok.
Mental illness is a terible thing. I guess we share something besides the migraines, in my case it's my sister, she suffers from Schizophrenia. Hang in there, man. Un abrazo.
I know that M419 made a comment about "praying for you", I'm sure this wasn't meant as some kind of dig at you and your personal atheist beliefs. I believe it was said as a genuine act of brotherly love and sincere condolence from his Christian viewpoint. This isn't a time for any kind of "getting one over on the opposition", but more of a laying down of weapons so to speak.
Yes, I took Len's words in the spirit they were intended. Regardless of my stance on prayer etc, I never turn down any positive sentiment that truly comes from the heart, which I firmly believe his did. If we remember for a moment that prayer is something he holds dear, we can see those words were heart-felt indeed. Thanks for your comment, and for everything.
I really do love you people.
RUclips recommendations are bizarre.
@@justsomeguywholikesmangoes1363 pretty wild, indeed.
@@CapriciousBlackBox Sorry for your loss, man. Hope you're doing better now.
@@justsomeguywholikesmangoes1363 Well thank you, and I am for sure. I appreciate your kind words.
I'm curious, do you think dying alone is always a shitty thing. Or is it shitty in specific circumstances such as this one?
I think dying is a natural thing. I think many of us have lost a relative or friend at or near the "end of life" (i.e.: very elderly) who is "ready" and we accept it much more easily, sometimes even with some relief. Sudden or tragic deaths get my label of "shitty."
I've spent the past few days as you can imagine lamenting over the lost opportunity to re-connect, but also with many incredibly fond memories.
My dad really was larger than life....well respected and loved, and very eccentric. His rare character transcended his illness as difficult as the manifestation of that illness became. Many in his community have already expressed their desire to participate in a celebration of life even though like me they were forced to disconnect from him over the years; they remember the Joe they knew very fondly.
I have been buoyed by the comments left on this video in a way I cannot convey....I'm simply blown away by the humanity expressed here.
We are still dealing with all the usual minutia that surrounds a family death along with preparations for Christmas, but I plan to make a video update sometime after Christmas to let everyone know how I'm doing etc.
I think this experience might just be the impetus I need to take my channel in a new direction and put the presuppositional stuff to rest. There are bigger, far more important fish to fry.
Cheers,
Mike.
baby
🫂
I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.
I am sorry for your loss. My thoughts are with you.