Men and INSECURITY: What You Need to Know | Justin Baldoni
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 22 мар 2023
- ►► Become a Love Life Member & Finally Master Your Love Life.
Claim Your 2-Week Free Trial
→ www.JoinloveLife.com
▼
Don’t Miss Out! Subscribe to my RUclips channel now.
I post new love life advice for you every weekend.
►► FREE download: “9 Texts No Man Can Resist” → www.9texts.com
►► FREE download: “5 Compliments to Get Him Addicted to You” → www.SayThisToHim.com
▼ Get My Latest Dating Tips and Connect With Me… ▼
Blog → www.howtogettheguy.com/blog/
Facebook → / coachmatthewhussey
Instagram → / thematthewhussey
Twitter → / matthewhussey
▼ Connect with Justin ▼
Get Justin's Book, Boys Will Be Human → boyswillbehuman.com
Facebook → / justinbaldoni
Instagram → / justinbaldoni
Twitter → / justinbaldoni
Both men and women who seek serious relationships primarily look for someone who makes them feel safe, physically and emotionally. It's not only women who want or deserve to feel this way. If someone is being open and vulnerable about their emotions, as a partner, we should make them feel as safe as we would want to feel ourselves.
True
Weman already do it
We,men,try to hide it due to not seen weak
Men do not need women to feel physically safe😂 you must like feminine men
@@MrKrushgutz true!
@@MrKrushgutz Safety is not about having muscles to protect. People feel safe at home, in bed, with friends in familiar places, with their favorite dog or horse. Safety means no one is attacking you verbally or mentally, you can be yourself, you know what to expect, you are confident in being loved and supported.
Every human needs that, and our brain is built to strive for it!
@@MrKrushgutz when you're intimate with someone, both men and women want to feel physically safe and be with someone they can trust. No one wants to be with someone who will put their health in danger or make them feel like they need to sleep with one eye open. Try to think outside your narrow view of the world.
It is so so so exhausting always being the thoughtful partner and making the other one feel heard, understood, safe while their insecurities are making them incapable of returning that.
YES! Same here and it's tiring. I'm always the more caring one. Just had to cut off a relationship with a guy because no matter how well and careful I expressed my emotions and concerns to him, sometimes he thought it was okay to belittle and cuss me out when he didn't get his way. Hell no, the moment you start making me feel emotionally unsafe and played around with. I'm heading out the door. My energy is too sacred for that. And for the first month he was so thoughtful and attentive...go figure
@@memoir02 Have you ever thought that you are ATTRACTED to men who arent very emotional, and you are addicted to the CHALLENGE of opening up an unemotional man? There are plenty of emotional men out there, you just dont want those guys. You want the challenge.
@@Maxwell-mb7xn It's really hard to recognize types of men, it gets easier with practice. It's not what Hollywood says! I suggest making friendships, doing fun stuff, and only elevating them to dating when you've known the person for a few months.
Dear god, women really do think they're incapable of being POS, don't they?
@@thiacari The problem is these kind of men turn women on. So they let their coochie do the thinking until they get older and need to make better decisions. SOmetimes. There in lies the rub.
My biggest thing I’ve learned from my man was the times they pull away they’re thinking and it’s often times unrelated to their partner and the times they seem like they don’t care they actually do so much that they don’t know what to do. Men feel just as much as we do they just take a little bit to strategize what to do which means they care!
You are absolutely right! Thank you for saying this 🙌🏼
My husband writes a lot of poetry, read some of his poems recently and they were a real eye-opener, thought why can't you just say these things ? I guess, at least if he's writing things down he's expressing his feelings.
The vulnerability + masculinity of these guys. Lovin it. 😊
This is why they are allowing themselves to be vulnerable in the first place.
It’s because they are in tune with themselves ❤
I LOOOVE THIS It has been a big priority to me my whole life to find out why men are the way they are.. My findings were that they are EXTRAODINARILLY Sensitive beyond what most women think... I have much Empathy for Men here in my 30's. And The Empath Masculine is Such an Earth Gem that deserve to SHINE WAY MORE then Society lets them Shine
Yeah in my experience ppl dont appreciate an open or vulnerable man.
@@jasonclements9022 Yep. Its all honeyed words with no action. If women rewarded vulnerable men with their love and attention, this wouldnt be an issue.
It's not only men who hide their feelings, insecurities, etc, through bitter experience I would operate on a ;need to know basis' with people. There are insecurities I've never even voiced to my husband, because makes me feel too vulnerable.
I am so happy you are talking about this. It helps us women understand you better so we can work better on relationships. I am 29 and until few months ago, based on my passed experiences with men I though men are these cold beings, who are not really capable of deep emotions, heart to heart, and then I met this guy, who I am dating right now, and he started talking about his emotional needs in a relationship, saying that he is a sensitive person and as he was talking I really felt it and I thought to myself, "wow, men are human too". How silly it was of me to think that only us need attention and emotion. It changed alot how I see men. Every man is different about being opened or not when it comes to their feelings but knowing this gives me confidence that I can work things better in my romantic life.
Dont break up with him in 2 weeks, with "you just arent feeling it anymore".
@@Maxwell-mb7xn I'm not going to😊
@@catherinecatolia Beautiful. Best wishes to you.
@@Maxwell-mb7xn thank you
@@catherinecatolia just checking, hows the relationship going?
Men Vs Women, this divide is why those steeped in power, hold control. Men & Women TOGETHER imagine a world like that...
TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
My boyfriend has gone through so much and I don't think he deserves it. He has anxiety, ptsd, multi personality disorder, depression, suicidal idealation and a few other things. Me and him are currently starting to work on our mental health as a couple and it is really nice to be honest. I feel closer to him because we are getting closer as one being instead of two people. I love him very much and I'm glad he is getting better.
two of my favourite people, who I truly look up to when it comes to relationships. was not expecting this collab, but am I glad!
Seriously they are both great but they should sometimes consider men have feelings too ..
Can we get to know each other please dear if possible
Love this conversation with you and Justin.Very insightful.
Loved Justin on JTV! What a solid and emotionally intelligent dude.
Unbelievably amazing interview from both of you! This opens my eyes not only towards men but towards why people in general act the way they do. I love it!
i agree. it’s a fantastic interview & i’d love to see more content just like this.
I was trying to understand why I have a soft spot or was drawn to men screaming with red flags. Lately, I realized it came from the emasculated image of men around me. Back when I was younger, my father struggled to be accepted, loved, and supported. He was unseen. I saw that familiar pain in his eyes that I don't want to see ever again to anyone. He looked helpless. Same pattern I saw with my 2 brothers and other cousins.
This resulted to their poor and unhealthy choices in life. Infidelity, vices, and unreliability to own their role in the house..Even to protect and provide for our necessities. I've learned to show compassion to boys who wanted to date me until my feminine energy/mother instinct to protect the younger me and my future children surges in. She demands boys to step up or walls will be built so high that they would need to climb up. If they fail to acknowledge who they are and kept playing, they are not meant for me.
Avoiding situations that would re-traumatize me, I’ve learned to not expect much from men or open up to people I once get vulnerable with. But it hurts so much when people prove the probability that I got no one I can trust. Let alone entrust my heart, my life and my future children.
Over time, I’ve adopted bad behaviors and unhealthy habits too. I can’t say I did not waste some of my precious time with people. But it’s not wasted if there’s an impact. I count the lessons I took rather than the disappointments of their unchanged behavior ( even after encountering me.) Most of the time, I need to leave so they can see for themselves what I saw in them that others don’t.
If there’s a tangible impact on their part, it appeases all the pain I’ve been through. But they don’t get the same energy from me as who I was back then. I distance myself as far as I can. And I don’t know if there will be someone who can take me away from this solitude. It is lonely but it is peaceful. I can’t allow anyone anymore to let me down. Coz’if I do, I will be so much disappointed with myself.
Yes. women do this. It’s not you who gets the blame. It’s our inner adult self.
So, I hope men who will be reading this, gets enlightened and turn away from their old reckless ways. That’s how powerful you are, you can help us build our confidence or tear us apart even by doing nothing and giving nothing.
His voice is so calming. And of course yours too!
My thoughts exactly !
Very insightful. I love seeing this side to Matthew Hussey. I really enjoyed this interview ❤
Great conversation as always, thank you Justin and Matt! 😊
I have struggled with this and spent most of my life trying to be something I am not.. Thank you
Sorry to hear that dear
Can we get to know each other if possible please
Love this! Agree so much about how sensitive most men are and a lot of women not really being aware of that. Such great insight…
I was been polite
Maybe we could get to know each other better you have quite a personality
@@charlesrainfield3855 Sorry, don't know how you received that reply from me, I was replying to someone else on a completely different forum ! But thank you for your nice reply.
zoe saldana: men are like flowers. delicate and beautiful 💕 hehe isn't she cute. and so right! I love men, and need them in all shapes. friends, romance... my dad just died. i only got to see him cry for the first time a few years ago. he always thought he had to hide it. his emotions. i'm glad i got to see his softer side before he died. and i miss him so much i want to scream.
i love these conversations and i hope it helps a lot of men in the way they need. and women too of course.
I think Zoe Saldana and her husband are a great couple. You can see how much respect they have for eachother in their relationship
It’s always interesting hearing about men’s struggles. I’ll 100% support men’s mental health all the way.
yeah. it was pleasing to watch, i will definitely buy that book.
Loving this video ❤ my two favorites ✨
Ohh loving this so much
This was awesome thank you !
I am learning and loving it !! So so good!
For a guy who’s very attractive himself he is beyond insightful on how it is for regular people out there.
Nice talk. I learned something. Fair play Justin.
Exactly what I thought !
I must admit that I recently start to feel compassion for men too and I was very surprised
Thank you so much, Matthew! I love this collaboration!!! Justin Baldoni is a beautiful man inside and out. I follow him and his wife and I’m in love with their energy. Emily is in tune with the beauty and grit on being a woman and a mother. They literally feed the soul…🫶🏾
This was awesome! Thank you!
such an amazing video ❤
Interesting topic. I’ve had some discussions with my friends about this video. It was hard to discern what men are sensitive about that is not specifically related to them personally or their own ego.
Sooo interesting. This made my start of the day❤
Thank you 🙏 that helps a lot to understand what's going on 😊
I saw this in my first real relationship with a guy, I had no idea guys could be this sensitive.
Thank you for this ❤
What if you're just so so tired of doing this? I feel like I'm so done with being a lesson to men. I'm drained. I almost have nothing left for myself 💔
Ameeee este encuentro, definitivamente uno de mis favoritos, que enriquecedor.❤
Unbelievable 🎉 Thanks for sharing ❤
Very good!
I lost my mate of 41 years 6 mos ago. I have deep guilt that I did not see him clearly as sensitive and vulnerable as he really was. We were children of the 50s and boys did not cry or they were shamed...by men, other boys. They were expected to be strong.
I have to admit I always looked for strong men...not just physically but emotionally. He began reaching out for more affection in his 60s...more nonsexual touch. Sex was always great. I could not tolerate cuddling, spooning etc except very rarely after sex. I am ashamed of my inability I did not give him what he needed in that way. Finally in his late 70s I FORCED myself to hold him and allow him to hold me at night in bed at times we were not sexual before sleep.. At first it felt very creepy and I dont not know WHY it felt that way...I adored him and loved him with all my heart but it felt so odd. WHY?
I was never sexually abused, I had always had a positive sex life...there was no trauma, so why couldnt I tolerate it?
FINALLY I overcame those deep inhibitions to being vulnerable. It became a wonderful addition to our relationship. WHY did I waste so many decades? I do not know and will never forgive myself that it took so long.
Now I have met another wonderul man. He is only a couple or so inches taller than my 5ft 4in...who cares. He is 82 and looks older he has lost virtually all his muscle while my former mate was 6ft 2in and looked 10.years younger than his 80.years. And again I just dont care.
I have developed at long last a totally different attitude toward ALL of this. This new man is brilliant.I adore his mind. I fell for THAT first. He is open and vulnerable ...he has limited experience and years lived with women though he had two marriages...neither gave him what he says he deeply needed. His last 3 yr dating relationship was entirely celibate..He craves
touch,,he craves love like a never loved or touched infant. And I give that to him in abundance. At first I thought of him as my penance for NOT giving that ,,enough of it, to my mate of 41 years. But now I do NOT feel that way...he is himself...not a substitute. And I adore him. He is the tenderest most open to emotion man I have ever known.
I am SO lucky to be having this experience...it has opened up depths of emotion in ME I never knew I had...life is good and I am so grateul to have this now...I feel at long last like a COMPLETE human.
I am an INTJ Myers Briggs personality type, an Enneagram 5, and on the Big Five Personality scale open, conscientious, an introvert, agreeable, and low in neuroticism. I am a planner, a doer and have alot of determination.
I am so glad I have been introduced to this softer more emotional side of myself...I feel it was the puzzle part of me that has been missing for so long. I finally feel SAFE enough to allow myself to be vulnerable with feelings...an entiraly new sensation for me.
Wow! Thanks so much for this! I just turned 69 years young Lost husband is 45 yrs 3 yrs ago you hit lots of “buttons” Im happy for you (& jealous😊) that you’ve both found someone special AND that you can bring all you’ve learned to accept & enrich this new relationship You give me a glimmer of hope (tho I’m still at a loss Re how to meet someone) Wishing you all the best all ways, always!
@@hortensejones4050 Hortense I wish you a bright future. Here are a few tips to meet someone: get out as much as possible to socialize and esp with like minded people. I had to FORCE myself to leave my comfortable home to socialize at all...I have an introverted personality and am more at home with books than people even though I was a professor amd therapist,still I am not a life of the party person, nor do I find it easy to to approach people or to start conversations, except about my field. I had to learn small talk...where are you from, anything to see if there was any biographical connection at all. Usually there WAS something and we could lightly chat about that.
In my community, retired people sit in the local park often because the weather is nice. I used to be busy before my mates death and pretty much just walked by those people sitting on benches in the park. I thought them lonely and unwanted and likely uninteresting people with nothing to do, mostly males. I was wrong.
Many, MOST, have had interesting lives...most know each other and I was soon welcomed to chat briefly. At first I stood not feeling comfortable sitting down joining them. Then I did and there were some women too. They told me about a weekly luncheon most of them attended...then one man led a games groups early eve at a local restaurant. There was also a brunch meeting at another restaurant one day a week. These were all informal events but I began to see people repeatedly and got to know many of them.
Some break off into special interest groups...play chess, or other games. Some go to museums or gardens...it can be quite active.
The lovely man I met was introduced by another man Imhad met, a friend of what turned out to be my love. He looked a bit like a hermit when I met him and he seemed quiet...he was very clean but his hair was a bit too long, his eyebrows a bit too bushy, his beard a bit too untrimmed...he wore clean but simple clothes and presented as modest and humble. It turned out he had been a well educated software engineer and was very bright with a well rounded intelligence about many things...that made him hugely attractive to me.I was taught a good lesson to not judge a book by its cover, though I never had picked men for looks in particular. What interests ME IS kindness, a personality similar to mine,and I need high intelligence in a man with a wide ranging well read mind because that is me...someone who has depth of character and thought. Someone who wants closeness and deep affection.
He is even more introverted than I am, yet he has forced himself for many years to get out to socialize and actually has many close friends who now are open to friendship with me as well...women as well as men, yet he had not met a woman in 12 years of sitting on that park bench and socializing in those other ways I mentioned that he fell in love with. But he did with me and I with him. He did date and have platonic relationships but not physical love...he does with me.
My advice is for you to decode WHAT YOU want and need in a relationship NOW...eg physical love yes or no, define what are musts in personality characteristics etc. Overlook the appearance. It can be modified. And if the man wants you he will be willing to cut his too long hair , his overbushy eyebrows, his untrimmed beard. I offered to do it myself because I had been cutting my mates hair for decades since we went cruising...and this new man let me.
People are saying I am taking good care of him...and I am and he basks in it, the deep love and affection that shows...I love to cook for him, he likes to take me to his favorite restaurants...he is with me five days and nights a week and goes back to his apt in the next town to see his male friends a couple of nights a week and his rabbi.
I am not Jewish...he recently introduced me to his rabbi and the rabbi's wife...my best girlfriend as a teen was Jewish so I know alot about Judaism and have deep respect for the religion and customs and that showed. They were a little skeptical at first but warmed up to me quickly.
So...I have found a treasure....someone right for me. Who would be right for YOU you should define and refine as you search...dont give up. I had six or seven coffee dates to explore the personalities of that many men before I found this gem. He arranged for a mutual acqauintance to invite me to a group dinner and I accepted the he maneuved to.sit next to me..determination is everything both in his case and in mine..
I KNEW I wanted to love again and my longterm mate would have WANTED me to love again..he said so and I said the same to HIM. Neither of us wanted the other to be alone were we the one to go first. No one ever replaces anyone else. If we are lucky we find another special someone to love for THEIR personality etc. And funnily I think this new man and my longterm mate could have had a close friendship ...they have similar interests...besides their interest in and appreciation of me.
It isnt over til its over. And the more you socialize the more comfortable you get and the better at it you are...you then exude self confidence because your fear and insecurity DOES evaporate bit by bit til it is gone...THAT I promise you,.the psychologist in me KNEW this but I had to practice it in MYSELF...and you can too. Be choosy, know what you want,yet be open to some variability in minor things in the major things like good character and him treating YOU well and being an interesting to YOU and loveable to YOU person...so Best wishes...I hope YOU find someone very special to you too! Let me know if you do!
Wow ...
I admire your strength dear.. I lost my partner too some years ago.
Am looking forward to a fresh start maybe we could get to know each other better dear we could be friends or More
@@charlesrainfield3855 Charles I wish you all the best...I have met someone here where I live and am in love...I am a lucky lucky woman. Ladies out there who were in my situation, be careful there are lots of scammers who look for comments like mine ...many are from foreign countries and are part of groups of online professional scammers...it is quite organized. A friend fell for this which is how I know...and they also target men too they use false identities complete with IDs, lots of photos etc. So be careful Charles....again wishing you the best.
Omg this was so so interesting!! More episodes like this please! Also Justin is not my usual type but he is so freaking hot!
Good stuff
I had a friend who respected and I knew he couldn't be into girl or if he was, he also, wanted to be with guys and I said because I wanted to support my friend who wanted to avoid looking weird with his guy friends. It's the guys who want to hide and not be found that are the saddest to see. My friend was my friend with and without whatever it was, without my pity.
Ayooo love to hear bell hooks mentioned
As a guy that grown up in these toxic masculinity environment, I always had to push other traits in order to cover my “weak” side.
At 33, I am at peace with my emotional side, yes, I am sensitive and require a deep connection with someone, a need to feel safe and loved, but my exterior and how I act somehow “hides” this part of me.
I think this is one of the main reason many women pull out and abandon when they see me open up and show my true emotional side, which always ends with me in heartbreak.
This just makes me hide and try to be distant more and more …. which really makes me sad
Give your heart to a woman who deserves and understands you.
@@ZiliaVing I hear you, and believe me, I yearn for that to happen. But it’s just so hard to find something genuine today, with all the dating apps and everything being superficial, so much noise to cover in order to find that diamond.
I thought I did meet someone like this a month ago, ive never felt more happy in my life, but short-lived as always, she pulled back and just ended things one day, through texts, got scared of commitment, i don’t know, but it broke me to pieces, and haven’t really healed from that.
So how to know when and to whom to open up is difficult for me. If i try to be more distant, then probably the right person will see me too aloof and superficial.
My fiancé is too sensitive and decent. I love him so much but he confuses me. He sometimes acts/IS masculine and other times he is who he is. I don't know what he needs. His sensitivity makes him a wonderful man but I believe he views it as a big insecurity/flaw.
He says he can't change it but he is clearly bothered by it. I never asked him to change but only to work on it if it has any sort of negative effect on him or us.
If I take care of him much then am spoiling him and he doesn't like feeling like am "nurturing" him and if I show less care then AM the one who is not sensitive..
He hates that people/family/some friends view him as "sensitive".
I don't give a shit.
I care about how he feels but he gets cold..
What should I do? Any tips?
Well it takes a certain woman to hear and see a man’s vulnerability However if it comes over too much like little boy lost then they may either run away as you’re being too needy Or take the role of a mummy to your inner child self
@@WordsAreYou seems to me he is at conflict with himself, most likely due to the people in his life and childhood who planted the idea that being more emotional as a guy is not “manly”, hard to get past that, it can be done with either lots of internal work with himself, or seeing a therapist to make peace with how he is. Troublesome is the fact that he is still bothered about what friends/family thinks of him being “sensitive”, that’s another underlying issue there.
Don’t know enough to give you tips, but I would simply tell him what YOUR needs are, tell him what makes you feel confused, do it in the moment when he’s connected with you, don’t just bring it up randomly.
Also give him space at certain times, let him come and “hunt” you, we like that, we love being cared and kissed and touched, sure, but also leave room for him to come, too much of a good thing can suffocate sometimes.
Happily shocked that macho Rafael is an incredibly sensitive intelligent heck of a tuned in guy I certainly was objectifying. Not only adored his content, am fascinated to watch him hit some of Matthew’s “buttons” and challenge Matthew to grow in unexpected ways. So very glad I watched this refreshing and very reassuring video. How did I miss this on LoveLife? Thank you both and shut out to wonderful Matthew who, despite his very human limitations, has been and is life-changing for me👏👏👏🌿👍🌿💕
Matthew is a celebrity, but like a best friend celebrity
I wish this video was already out before my break up with my fiance. We both we are having our own storm in our heads and at the end i think he was battling with a lot more than I am. Last month he told me that he needed some time(not away from each other but space for him to grind and get a house for us) and out of nowhere he said “i don't wanna be in a relationship right now, this is not good to work right now”. I death in the inside i don't know what's going on with him i even told him let's go to therapy, i tried sending him a letter in the mailbox, texts.. i haven't heard anything from his since 2/28 and last time i send him a text was 3/4. I'm pregnant and i told him about it on that letter and no single word from him.... 💔
💔
Oh no sounds horrid. Maybe he didn't open the letter? Will you go through the pregnancy alone? It seems he is not interested in a long term relationship, because he communicates with you even worse than a friend would.
You've got 2 problems now.On the one hand,why your broke up needs to be considered.On the other hand,your pregnency wasn't wise enough.He wasn't certain about it,if so,you wouldn't have been pregnant
Therapy would have helped you
Honey if he is super unstable then I don't know if you want to let him know about the pregnancy. It might be safer for you and the baby too make your own way from here on. Trust me from someone who knows!
I have dated guys shorter than me, taller than me, guys that didn't care about their physical health, guys that liked going to the gym, all different color hair, tattoos, no tattoos. I've gone on dates with a couple men that were between ten to twenty-five years older. After all this I realized what type of men I'm attracted to and I stick to that.
A lot of this is all superficial traits. I'm not sure how old you are but don't overlook personality traits. Age, height, tattoos and body image aren't really differing markers really. What's their attachment style? Are they mellow or controlling? What are their values?
Same! When I was young, I befriended all kinds of people, we did all kinds of things together. Gradually I noticed which kinds of guys make me happy, which problems I can deal with, what are the deal breakers for me. So it's important being open-minded.
@@anonplussedhuman2615I think she did consider internal values too since she dated a variety of men but is referring to looks specifically because in the video he stated that it’s not good to have a type physically. But if you allowed yourself to consider a guy outside your “type” then you realise that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and she has a certain beauty she’s looking for and she will find it because she’s found it before.
@@racheloshaksmusic mmm I see. Very well put. Thanks
@@anonplussedhuman2615 no problem !
I hope Esther Perel watches this. This is insightful.
Bingo: We have different tastes. I don't care about height very much (my ex-husband was short, and I often find short men very attractive!). There are other things, however, I care more about (face, hair, being funny).
I'm tired of hearing the myth "Women don't care about a man's look so much." We do care! Both face&body. It is in my top priorities and it's first thing I see in a man. The difference is, women ALSO have top priorities the man's personality, humour, health, respect and other things. We are conditioned since young to not be "shallow" or "sluts", so we as women automaticaly lie when we are asked what matters for us in a man. And yes, we all have our different preferences, like men have in women. But we are not so different, we are Very visual, we aren't some semi-blind aliens that don't get turned on.
I’m 5’8” and occasionally I’ve dated men that are my height or slightly shorter, however they have all hated me wearing heels, even low heels, and it’s tiresome.
I am 5ft 10"... Their height was not a concern. A tough reality check...never felt my height as a 'fault' until trying the dating apps.
Heels > A loving lasting relationship. Welcome to modern women.
Youd agree it’s shallow to dump a guy just because you want to wear heels right?
Sirrrr this video should’ve been 1-2 hours longgg. There’s so much to say.
But you guys talked a lot about the main issues which is needed too, because that’s the main surface.
Honestly Jesus Christ has set me free from all those standards of judgement from the world because I realise He made me for who I am and He loves me and that’s enough to give me confidence in me.
Like you said many women are the large part of your audience because we are such “workers/helpers” by design and by nature that we deeply want to understand men. I have been hurt by a guy whom in my eyes was/is absolutely amazing but I noticed he had flaws, he wasn’t perfect even though he seemed like it cause he’s extremely talented and always knows the right thing to say until he’s under some sort of personal extremely private emotional pressure or maybe threat and he had some insecurities even though he also doesn’t care about the opinions of the world like a Christian shouldn’t, but he is also human with his own TRAUMA and SCARS and fears from people and from the past and about the future. Some men hurt women because they’ve been hurt. Some don’t intend to hurt a woman but they end up doing it subconsciously. I can tell when a man is offended by a woman or other people but just won’t communicate it, but will react in the way he knows best which is to internally solve it and mistreat you somehow. But even when he hurt me I prayed about it and I gave him the freedom to express himself and I healed myself from the questions that came to my mind if I did something wrong or if I’m not important or good enough or whatever and I didn’t impose myself on him and when he was ready he came back to me and I embraced him like nothing happened. I realised he’s still gotta figure himself. I realised I have an impact on him. He’s sensitive indeed but men express it completely differently to women it’s honestly astonishing like even my older brother, I never knew he could talk so much. When a man finally opens up and embraces himself you start to see them as a regular human being with the same offences, desires and same emotions but taken completely differently and dealt differently to most women. So I’d say God taught me to have compassion on a man by using a guy I really admire. Some guys need to be given that space to have an “emotional tantrum” because since they were young, boys are told to not express their emotions and cry. So they don’t know how to handle it and how to let it out properly and so it falls on to everyone around them. Women can be like this too. This lack of communication/expression and love for self honestly needs to change because I sense a decline in successful relationships in the future as women will still desire children/ family/ husband but just won’t get one because it’s extremely difficult to find someone that is emotionally ready. I think more men need to step up in uplifting men and stop comparing themselves to each-other. I think a man should become the best version of himself ! God bless you all and I like his man bun. I’m convinced he doesn’t age too😂😅 looks the same from the shows! Thank you for this video !
Justinnn woah i was just thinking about Rafael yesterday😭😭
I love Jane ❤😂
GOD, YES! FINALLY. you get 🏆 HERO of the Decade award for posting REAL content about men & relationships. the world of youtube watchers needs more content like this that’s based in reality not “optimization”.
who else is entirely sick of the wash & repeat trash that’s on youftube, which has taught an entire generation of singles how to date? it’s trash you guys.
who else is sick of the artificial polarization between the sexes created by “relationship experts” & the exploitation of psychological hacks created to control the opposite sex?? anyone??
who else is sick of being lied to about what a majority of women/men want when it simply isn’t true…just look at the world you live in…most people are married to average people!!
i play these videos as background noise to my life while i achieve my personal goals daily & find myself disgusted on the regular. as a single woman, i assure you, in the dating world, the obsession with the games & hacks are definitely a problem that plagues society.
Wow my friend Matthewhussey 😍😍😍😍💓💓💓💓🎹🎶🎵🎼🎸🎺❤️🥰🙏🙏👍👍👍😘
Wheres the whole interview?
I told my boyfriend that if I get very sick I would not seek tteatment as I don't want to be a burden. He said that he understands and agrees. I am in very happy relationship.
I was successfully treated for breast cancer a few years ago, if I hadn't been treated i would have had a very painful end .. and potentially been a burden for those around me.
@@barbaramorrow6725 You are very brave, and I am very happy you are better now. It's great thing to have proper care and people who care about you. However, I live in a country where cancer survival is extremely low, because health care is horrible. And I have no one to take care of me, not even a person who is supposed to be my partner. That made me very sad.
@@biljam972 Which part of the world do you live in ? Our Health Service here is getting worse and worse due to Tory government underfunding. I'm so sorry to hear about your situation, you are such a lovely person, and hope you never get ill or require the care I did.
@@barbaramorrow6725 you like in UK? Lovely country, I hope to visit some day. I am in Serbia, here the private health care is ok, but very expensive if you need more than tooth filling or yearly checkup, but state health care is really horrible. People are dying from treatable and curable diseases. Of course, media is not allowed to say that. Probably one of the reasons next to others why most people here are depressed. My partner and me used to encourage each other but now it is more like we are apathetic and sad all the time and not even supportive. I don't know if that's depression or love is just gone.
@@biljam972 Sorry to hear about the national health service in Serbia. The only think I know about Serbia is that Novak Djokovic comes from there ! Things are getting much worse with the National Health Service in the UK, very long waiting lists, it's ridiculous, the Conservative Government are running it into the ground. Soon it will be just the rich who can afford treatment. Sorry to hear about you and your partner, you really need and deserve to be with someone who supports you.
Thank you so much for this 🤍
I thought they were going to talk about how to help men to open up and be vulnerable smh
Me too
All it is, is lip service. You want men to be more vulnerable and open up. Here is a simple solution. If WOMEN rewarded them with love, attention, sex and adoration when they did. Very simple. The entire culture of masculinity would shift. But women DONT reward those vulnerable men with these things. They reward the bad bodys, the emotionally unavaiable men, with the love, sex, attention and adoration. Its simple. But it will never change because women wont admit to this. So we go in this mindless circle.
One of the things I dislike so much about topics like this is that genuine concerns can sometimes be labeled as "insecurities". For instance, a woman that has a lot of male 'friends' and uses social media to post provocative pics. It's not insecurity to see that and be concerned. That woman is likely looking for attention to feed an internal emptiness and/or looking for a backup. maybe even something as simple as just dick on the side but all the possibilities are a genuine concern. We men know other men will go the 'nice guy' route and army-crawl through the friendship zone to try to get with a woman. We know guys will wait until a rough patch happens and swoop in to try to comfort her. We all know that the primary reason men enter a relationship is because of her body and sexuality, even if it isn't popular to admit or acknowledge it. It's not an insecurity to value and refuse to share that. The ones who claim that, aren't relationship material. Standards and boundries are healthy. Even the ones you might not like if it keeps you from the one you want.
44.444 visualizations, 4 days ago. Wow.
I’m sorry, but why do we have to pay to view Justin’s full interview? 😢
He is too beautiful to be here for free😅😂😍
Rafael was the Master of red flags in Jane the Virgin.
❤
Does anyone know any movies that demonstrate flirty, playful femininity? (For an asd)
Bridget Jone's Diary
Kate & Leopold
Grease
I dated tall, short, black and white guys.. I believe they were attractive to me.. Then I found out that the most attractive man who has a gentle and kind spirit, who understand and love me are more attractive to me. Id 💘 to c him taking care of his body, hair ext .. Nice dressed .
It's interesting how we can see people completely differently if we're in love with them. My husband and I got along very well when we first met and the more I got to know him and see what an amazing soul he is, the more physically beautiful he looked to me. I remember we were at a party and my husband was joking with friends saying he needed to work out because of his dad bod. I literally told him that I thought he looked like the Statue of David in Italy and everyone started laughing, including him... but I was dead serious. He looks like a beautiful work of art to me. I still tell him he looks like David and he thinks it's so funny. I really do think that men can be just as critical of their own appearances as women but they aren't used to getting compliments. He laughs when I say it but I can tell he appreciates it.
@@coolbreeze5683 I'm proud of you. You sound like a nice person. I wish you a happy life with your husband and blessing that's endures.
Beautifully said So true. He can be gorgeous but if he doesn’t embody (!) those emotional characteristics- there’s nothing there. Tenderness, caring, consideration are biggest turn Ins with real staying power!
💞
"they're profiting off of us"
RUclips : *cue keto ads*
I want a man that looks
like Justin :)
I remember a guy breaking up with me years ago, you're really beautiful, etc, BUT .... and I just thought oh get on with it, cue the next one - I was 17 at the time ! Makes me laugh now when I think of it.
Just told my husband this story he said 'You weren't too distraught then ' Lol
Rafael what are you doing here 🙆♀️
Anyone who can recommend a similar channel like matthew but for men. Most of the channels are just monetization by useless advice, does anyone knows valuable channels like this but for men?
Check out the Man Enough podcast. It's the podcast Justin hosts. It's really helpful and wholesome for men and women.
I have an attractive tall dark guy friend who thinks pretty girls are not interested in him. I had to remind him that pretty girls too are mere human beings just like him and each one of them likes something else about a guy. They may not be interested in mere good looks. I found a lot of men suffer from having to compete for women and seem to think that only the handsome, muscular guys can get dates with attractive women. Dating apps have made things way worse.
I'm 20 minutes into this. Not hearing anything I don't know. We all get sensitive.
Heya guys! Who watched „beyond men and masculinity“ on Netflix? Did it resonate with you? Any take away insight you got? Do you know Any other good ressources - I am looking for kind of „initiation rituals/ possibilities/ moments for today‘s boys and young men“…. Anybody got experience? (Ok, thats a lot of questions…my context: raising boys.) Thank you for Any insights!
It's reassuring to hear from two conscious men speaking openly about men's vulnerability, sensitivity and how societal/cultural expectations are imposed upon them to conform and "man up" all the while suppressing their emotions and needs. On the other hand, I respectfully disagree with Justin's point on "having an amazing body is very low on the list of traits you want in a husband or a partner." Evolutionary biology plays a role in female mate selection of physically masculine male whose deemed attractiveness and physical attributes are i. e. a strong jawline, a more muscular body and a taller height because these are reliable indicators of healthy genes ensuring progenics. Similarly, women with big eyes, a small chin and full lips (characteristics of neoteny) are reliable indicators of healthy genes ensuring progenics, therefore, deemed attractive to men. While there are exceptions, these are our instinctive choices for the procreation of offsprings with healthy genes. However, that is not to say that our values and personality are only secondary to our physical attributes.
Honestly Mathew I wish you knew a lot of your viewers are men too and sometimes it would be nice if it wasn't all geared towards a woman's perspective all the time
He's gotta make that Pander money man. Let him cook.
@@Maxwell-mb7xn Not clear on what you mean Maxwell 101.
It's so hard trying to have a deep conversation with men about thoughts and feelings because y'all are so emotionally constipated.
Funny is the difference between boys and girls in high-school too. My son came home:
"Mon can you help? My friends said:Oh, boy, you have a head on your spot!"
I asked:"Is it usual?"
He said:"Yeah, it't quite normal, means, that we care about each other"
My daughter said:"No, it is not normal. My girlfriends would have said:" Don't worry, it's not that bad! 😁
Girls are by FAR the most cruel creatures on teh planet. Stop the cap.
Interesting that men have many of the insecurities that women have too ... My sister (gorgeous, BTW) once told me, that despite never having thought previously, she actually did have "a type". A short, stocky bald man; she also loved a belly on a man 😂, no six packs for her.
Wait, Justin said, “…one in four or five women are victims of sexual assault, and it gets worse from there…” I would have liked to hear his perspective but I can’t listen to someone who appears to assume that sexual assault is a lesser trauma than other forms of violence or abuse. If he meant worse in terms of numbers he should have said that.
Don't understand what you mean.
Women don't want to date short guys? -- asking the guys, would you date a 6'0 woman? No, you also go for the petite ones, same difference 😢
Yeah, no.
Whenever I hear the term "sensitive" come up, I wish there was a more nuanced discussion about the difference between "sensitivity" and "fragile ego." Because they are different. And I think what most men have is a fragile ego, not sensitivity. But often what people say when someone flies off the handle and overreacts to their ego getting the slightest chipping at is "Oh, they're just sensitive." That annoys me because it implies that it's now my job to walk on eggshells and caretake their "sensitive" ego, not that they need to humble themselves and learn more effective ways to emotionally regulate while thinking of people other than their ego's comfort level always first and foremost.
One semi-funny story to illustrate this: In a relationship with a guy who in retrospect probably had a straight up personality disorder, we had that really all-consuming first few months together. Sex multiples times a day and the whole thing was disruptive to all other parts of life -- work, working out, friends, personal errands, etc. When I started to wake up to how exhausting that was, I sat him down for a conversation to let him know that if I'm taking more time to focus on work and take care of myself, that's just because I needed to regain some balance in my life, not because I wasn't into him -- in fact I felt a little detrimentally too into him. He took it all personally, did not understand and literally ordered a multi-piece anatomical heart puzzle and told me the only way our relationship could continue is if I put the heart back together because me drawing some boundaries and not being fully obsessed with him "broke his heart" and he wouldn't stand for me doing it again. From this point, I ended up minimizing a lot of things that were important in my life to not "break his heart." In retrospect, I was not doing that, I was "breaking his ego." He was a narcissist, and me caring about anything a lot other than him was just a huge ego threat. He even ended up telling me that if I didn't quit my job that I loved within a year, he would break up with me. I did quit the job and what did I get for it? He literally began working late right then, so it all felt like it was some pointless power-trip. He was never going to be a better partner. Some may call him sensitive. He called himself sensitive. I think he was just very self-centered and had an extremely fragile ego.
@@LXSeaV Also I don't believe this story is real. Women need to learn to right better fiction lol.
"Men and Insecurities" and then he invites the source of our insecurities, how ironic!
? Don't understand your response.
Most men are not seaking a partner they want a maid and a personal assistant or a sex object that also cooks. However there are few men who knows that love is to empower both not only his dreans.
Awesome video! Justin is so hot too!
I like taller men and men with money
Fact
Don’t care about your feelings
I just listened to the podcast episode and disagreed with so many statements. Hell no we don't need to believe in men's potential, we can should say freaking NO THANKS, BYE! and women are not all friends and have a great community, there's a lot of animosity and pressure between women, men are not a victim or alone in this, come on!!
Men are not as sensitive as women. Men are sensitive on SPECIFIC topics. I guess the criticism you could make is men don't make it clear where their personal boundaries are so when women step over them, and there's a shift in the tension of the interaction/relationship, they're confused because we never established the boundary in the first place. But then you also have to take into consideration of how passive society has made men to the point they don't have the courage anymore to place a boundary out a fear of the woman leaving.
Too much of these conversations always devolve into _"Men are doing something wrong"_ when most of the time, they're just acting how people like Justin tell them to be. And when it doesn't work out (and possibly repeatedly), they take a different approach.
I can't stand guys who don't exercise regularly and expect girls to like their overweight body and huge belly ...
Also the sensitively part makes no sense with the study. If men can train themselves to be desensitized to something, wouldn't that BY VERY DEFINITION mean men are less sensitize? LMFAO. How does he extrapolate sensitivity from that? A creatures that can do that and sustain it, is by very definition, less sensitive lol. I'm not claiming men don't have emotions, but this lie of men feeling emotions the exact way as women needs to stop. We just don't and it has little to do with socialization. evolutionarily men HAD to be less sensitive and you might say, _"We're in a different era, that's not need anymore."_
1.) Not enterally true, men are still doing all the dangerous/dirty jobs that take their lives. From construction to military. So it is still needed to an extent.
2.) Doesn't matter, you can't just shut off (nor should you) millions of years of evolution. That's what's kept this species alive for so long.
Justin is really just speaking for himself and a portion of men.
This unfortunately has been stereotypically customery among people that men are strong.After a break-up it's the girl who has emotionally been devastated.However,in reality,this isn't right.A lot of men wouldn't reveal how emotional & vulnerable thery are in order not to be misjudged.I personally believe that it's girls who have to be more aware of men to treat them more appropriately.Otherwise,this wrong idea will last for a million years
No, only men with a scarcity mindset.
@@HonkHonkler This is pervasive indeed.Gender doesn't matter
Yea but the little boy doesn’t have a beard He most likely looks like a little girl at that age - children need to be helped with their identity at such a young age It’s tough enough growing up without being teased - Yes when you’re adult wear your hair how you like ! Also not all men and even women are sensitive ! I read john gray Mars and Venus and watch his videos Makes some sense to me ! Saying that yes there’s lots of programming
I love these guys messages but I do understand why most men rather flock to the red pill guys because they don't have to initial ability to even attract women like those two do because of their inherent attractiveness
I believe men have same emotions but less intense . Also they have bigger Egos than women (biologically a man is Created to be a leader a protector and a provider ) men control their emotions , women let their emotions control them
. Some of this traits are also learned from our environment but most is how we were created by God .
BASED