"Instead of teaching our children on; how to be brave boys and pretty girls; can we just teach them how to be good humans" -Justin B. (Challenge accepted)
@CanadianLoki76 Promoting false manhood produces men who can't take no for an answer...not men who know how to take a no with grace and strength. I hope you don't have children. Mine will be allowed to wear what they want with the knowledge that some boys are too scared to try it and will ridicule them for it because they can't face their own fears.
@@beverlyprice743 Wether or not someone wears a dress is not a factor in this conversation. I don't care what anybody wears. I have always had clear boundaries growing up, I was raised. BUT, that doesn't mean I had to wear "mens clothes" or do "mens things". I HAVE FREEDOM, even though, actually BECAUS I HAVE BOUNDARIES. I get to wear pink sweatshirts and do "women's things", but I was still given rules and guidelines. Children don't know what they are doing. How are they supposed to work if they are not taught to obey their boss? My grandmother has been a childrens psychologist for decades, still working as a 70 year old. The number one reason why people are depressed is because they are not able to obey boundaries. 1/3 of people who go to the 1/2 - 1 year oblicatory military service in Finland have to stop half way because of this. CHILDREN NEED BOUNDARIES Thank you
CanadianLoki76 doing as they please will make them into humans, it’s how I became more humane than the people around me, I’ve seen the world and the violence and hate in it, and I wanna become better than that, that’s what doing as I please has done to me
People talk about men wearing dresses are not manly, but they forget that other people fought for their right to wear, ride and say what they like. Dont forget that wearing pants and riding a bycicle was a man thing before it also became a woman thing.
What's so problematic is that sometimes when men do find the courage to open up and show some vulnerability, they're told by some women to 'act like a man and toughen up'. It's really the same as telling a woman to 'act like a girl and sit silent and look pretty'.
Yes, it's awful. A man often has to feel safe to express his emotions,but once he does? It's awesome. My husband (a police officer and combat veteran) is the most tender, sweet, empathetic person in the world. He's always dragging home stray dogs and he won't use his power to hurt anyone. And he cries a lot more than I do!🤗
@@sumonachakravarty1369 Yes, it is. Their 'responsibility', and your expectations of them, are two different things. Nowhere in their job description does it say they have to shed light on anything. It's up to them to decide what they do with their abilities.
My dad commit suicide when I was 8. I just learned he was sexually abused and took a really tough role in his childhood. I get it now. I feel sorry he couldn't talk to anybody so he started to drink. I love this talk! Beautiful.
This gentleman not only is a feast to our eyes, but he ALSO has a soul, and it is a beautiful one. His drive to positively influence the male concept, and thus, make an impact on male-female relationships is just so powerful and inviting. I hope more of us, both men and women, get touched by his words, even his actions (which speak louder than words themselves), and feel the urge to be part of this transformation. Thanks Justin!
@@timbergreenproperties9296 bro I think you didn't get the idea of this video, just take it easy and watch again =) and I wish you luck in your life too champ
This is how a man is suppose to be but when u bring out this side of yourself you are often misjudged. It was around 2 years ago when my class teacher was leaving the school I felt very emotional. I couldn't control my tears I cried . Because of this one day when I was hanging out with my friend he said he has doubt on my sexuality. He thinks that I am probably a gay. From that day onwards I thought I should keep my feeling inside me, I shouldn't express them. Thanks to this "man's" great speech. I think its OK to express ur feelings.
A man is man enough to express his feelings. Stop being a gay male girlfriend to women, and not strong and centered enough to your friends. Common man, be strong, be a role model, do what needs to be done.
Gotta be strong to help the weak. How is you crying all day going to help someone. Those who are in tough places have no time to cry. They are busy trying to live.
@@isabellarobinson6082 being vulnerable in the face of adversity is weak. There's a time and place for everything. Crying all day is weak, no matter how you put it. This is why we choose strong leaders. You don't see the president of Ukraine crying all the time even though you know he feels horrible watching his people die.
Wow...I felt it when he said "are you brave enough to be vulnerable?" It's like I needed to hear it...I don't show any emotion...I don't cry in front of my parents...I cry alone where no one can see me
Please cry. I mean it's healthy,you can always cry in front of your loved ones It's okay to cry. You are human being first. Kudos to all the men, who have been holding up for so long, but finally are now comfortable. Cheers!
We need many many more strong sensible men like him... He's more masculine than any of the so called 'macho' men I've seen online....seriously....this is one of the best Ted talks I've heard😊
@Be Frank no... He can't control who comes to the Ted talk. They booked him to do this talked and he agreed, neither he or Ted could've known how many male and how many females will come that night. As long as this talk can reach some males in the crowd, and some males here on RUclips, he did his thing. He is literally talking about how he tries to get more attention from males and reach out to them. It literally doesn't make sense that he's trying to woo females for several reasons. 1, he couldn't know who comes to that talk that night, Ted booked him and the rest was up to the people buying the tickets. 2, when most of his followers where females he purposely change his account to attract more males to follow him, even when females will unfollow bc they aren't interested in that content.
My partner apologies everytime he cries and I always tell him it's a strong man who can cry and cry openly. He always says thankyou and for letting him cry. If only that can come from one of his mates, it would make such a different difference than his gf telling him
I feel with you. My man does the same and I ask him why. He often says that he feels mot masculine enough. it makes me sad because he is the one who can effectively ground me when I have my issues. He is then calm and determined to care for me and this is so utterly manly in my eyes. I think he could not keep the balance if he can blow off steam some times. I don't know how to convince him otherwise.
Tell him " a man crys not because he is weak, but because he has been strong for too long," i have grown up(growing as im 16 rn) with this idea, and i like it. This guy here in the talk says he isnt strong but here he is in front of millions of ppl so hes a bit misguided. Theres a difference between raising your sons to never show emotion, and teaching your sons WHEN to show emotion. Instead of crying at the funeral, cry after, support others and be their rock. Its what men do
@Mario To be honest, we don't know this man. And everything you mentioned is just a preconceived notion you had after watching the video. I could personally relate to everything he said. And none of your arguments fit on me. Nothing wrong with being kind, caring and emotionally expressive.
I'm so glad my son turned out being such an advocate for women and women's rights and against toxic masculinity. He played baseball, and football in high school. He snowboards and surfs. He writes, plays, and sings the most beautiful love songs. I've never heard him say anything disrespectful towards women. I attribute a lot of this to growing up somewhere extremely liberal, and going to UC Santa Cruz for the first 4 years of college. He does stand up, and I am so proud.
When he spoke the words _Me Too,_ that was the final nail in the coffin. Just virtue-signaling, denying women's agency, and then declaring support for a witch hunt.
I'm a 65 year old guy and this is one of the best messages to young men and even to old farts like me to just be yourself. I've been working on this stuff half my life to become the kind of man he's talking about. What a relief to finally be able to say to another man, "Damn, I am hurting and I'm scared". I'm sending this to my 18 year old son. Thank you Justin!!!
Dont do that. Don't destroy your son's life. This is speech is very harmful. I suggest presentation video's by Dr. Jordan Peterson or Dr. Robert Glover "No more mr. nice guy".
@@MattsBookPro I said harmful, not harmless. That young man talking in video is not a development psychologist or subject matter expert in academia. In fact, this guy is defining good man incorrectly. You can be good friend to women by being that, but not intimate romantic lover or husband. Most women are not attracted intimately to that type of guy. Also, it will not bring success in your other field of life such as career and business. This is the root cause for so many men who are suffering from depression in post modern time. I suggest to check out presentations by Clinical Psychologist and Professor at Toronto University Dr. Jordan Peterson or another clinical psychologist Dr. Robert Glover in RUclips.
@A p No, that's not he is talking about. His video does not talk about balancing. Even if he did, we should not be taking his advice unless he is a subject matter expert.
"Instead of teaching our children how to be brave boys and pretty girls; can we just teach them how to be good humans" so powerful. That should not be controversial but it is.
I agree with a lot of this message, but I think it does downplay the role of women in perpetuating the issue. Women also need to learn how to accept and deal with male expressions of emotion and vulnerability. I've been dumped because I was upset and scared before a worrying medical procedure. I've had someone actually stop loving me after I broke down and cried in front of her, because we were going to be apart and I was going to miss her. I know enough men with similar experiences. Telling men to open up and embrace their vulnerability is a good thing, but saying that we are the sole problem is short sighted. Women aren't always the warm, glowing beacons of empathy you paint them as. They are imperfect beings, just like men, and they do play their part in the internalisation of male emotion.
I'm really sorry that happened, Kris, and I hear you-- this isn't a male or female issue alone. It's a human issue, and it will take all identities working towards a compassionate understanding of each other to heal generations of hurt. We women certainly have our own share of work in this task, and every one of us is on a different journey. I hope that you are able to find people who love and support you on your own journey, and who find your emotions to be as lovable as any other piece of you. Best wishes, Natalie
@ Kris I absolutely agree. However, we all attract certain types of partners into our lives, mostly partners with similar issues, beliefs as our parents. If you had a mother who was uncomfortable with her own emotions or people being vulnerable, then you will also attract the same type of women into your life. The good News is that you can change what kind of people you attract in the future, by deleting the blueprint for women you have stored in your subconscious mind, which goes: Women are uncomfortable with emotions. You can literally reprogramme this belief into a belief of your preference. And suddenly you attract more emotionally vulnerable women into your life. There are other factors that play a role in this process, but this is totally possible. If you research about Theta Healing or EFT, you will find that these modalities offer ways to have your beliefs reprogrammed and your reality changed. There are SO many Solutions just waiting to be discovered , we just need to be Open to them.
I agree with you. Part of understanding feminism is realizing that both men AND women reproduce patriarchy. We all have a role to play in dismantling toxic masculinity and patriarchy
I'm so glad I live at a time and place where this is being talked about. My only wish is that it had happened long before I was born. But at least we have time to do better for the next generations.
The thing is that we're all like that inside. Wrapped in words and illusions, men and women for that matter. Whats the talk about this hope? Men will say the same thing about women but that is exactly where this illusion grows. Open your eyes now if you ever want to have a shot at being yourself
@@jordanbabin The even-worse part is that men who put each others down for being Human almost always do so at the behests of other women, the "justification" used by those women usually being that men who show vulnerabilities must be pre-emptively punished by any means possible (in the West, it'd usually be via social ostracization) for their perceived inability and future failures to protect women.
When you are overwhelmed by an emotion, your body needs to release the pressure. You cry because you are able to feel so intensely, because you are human. Cry, let it OUT. You will feel better.
@@BlunderCity Honestly I don´t know if you're talking to me, because I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing. However, I would like to reply to your comment. My mother always said that she doesn't like when I cry, that I annoy her and that I should stop "playing victim", I never cry for too long, once it gets out, I stuff it back inside of me, then it comes back as anger, then I transform it into sadness and the cycle continues. I'm not saying this happens to everybody, but it's sad to imagine that so many people feel like it's not okay to express their emotions. Ps: I suffer from an untreated mental illness, so there's that.
@@humita4610 _"I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing."_ Yeah but the Ted Talk implies that this needs fixing and you're replying to that video saying it's OK to cry. I logically respond that, while it's perfectly OK, men feel less of a need to do that than women. There is a trait of personality of the Big 5 (the most used personality tool by clinical psychologists) called "neuroticism" which means emotional stability. And while men and women tend to cluster around the middle, women have a tendency to score higher on that scale and men lower. One manifestation of emotional instability is crying, it's a coping mechanism. Women need it more than men. That's the reason why women are more likely to suffer from psychological disorders linked to high neuroticism such as depression and anxiety while on the other end of the spectrum, people are likely to be psychopath (extreme insensibility) and nearly all psychopaths are men. The point is that men cry less because they don't need this so much and this has been demonstrated internationally and cross culturally. I don't think that socialisation make men cry less, it's likely that men cry in private rather than in public.
@@BlunderCity Good for you, you're informed. But honestly, please don't reply back. If you feel the need for someone to hear about all of this, idk start a blog maybe. I never once mentioned anything about gender, I get it, the video is about men and toxic masculinity, my comment isn't. Just chill, you're getting conclusions out of nowhere.
@John Mandrake dont think so, the guy is too old, too well build to be a homeless, young man, who quick on his feet and a thief, eat 1 meal per day, and of course, aladdin is sometime cunning and quick thinking, this man look too kind for that role
Who came here after It Ends With Us? Truly a genuine person, Justin. I think you, and people like you need to speak out at schools and male forums, to help change the future generations' thinking, and stop toxic masculinity. We all need each other, male and female, and change the unhelpful thought patterns. It ends with us!
How many of the supporters in the comments are men? The men I see commenting seem to resent it. What trials did he even overcome? Toxic Maculinity isn't in the DSM-5, and unbottling your emotions isn't a therapy that ever works. Is your entire opinion based on your intuition? You feel it's true? It just sounds religious to me, in the way that everyone needs a demon to blame.
Yeah turns out the dude's a creepoid. You wanna pur him in front of kids? You should be arrested for criminal endangerment. Why do you feminists always hang around creepoids? Besides, I get secondhand embarrassment every time I listen to this muppet.
"A lot of women also see it as less masculine"? Women are *the entire reason* why it's considered unmanly to cry. It's called sexual selection pressures. Leading to men trying to be capable and stoic providers.
@@tanyarawat9700 Yes. And why do you think that is? Maybe because women want men who are stoic and capable, and so men amongst each other either mutually challenging or chastising one another for showing weakness? It's the "sexual selection pressures" I was talking about.
@@tanyarawat9700 Naturally not. But it does translate into not letting your emotions control you, so you can stay productive. Something women can use a little of.
@Jason Salazar I think it's a good idea for men to be more open. Sure, it may not solve every problem, but it will make things better (for both men and women). I think he had a fair point. God bless.
*No lies, when I first saw Justin's role in a segment as an actor last year I rolled my eyes. "Stereotypical". After seeing this, I don't know if I could identify a stronger man. Vulnerability is the MOMENTUM that starts movement, that will ultimately lead to change. A happier, healthier, more honest world. Who couldn't get behind that? Thank you JustinXTed*
IRISH MGTOW I totally agree! I think since he's a man, he's speaking on behalf of men, but girls need to be taught as well! As parents it's our job to lead and guide our children, boys and girls!
@@Cheryl_Frazier He doesn't speak on my behalf. What is this nonsense you speak of? I'm sorry, but all of the nonsense he talked about are about HIS own personal demons. I never seen women as lesser, ever since I was a kid I never seen women or girls as lesser. He is talking about his own experiences. Nothing more. I am actually rather sick and tired of men trying to speak for me because of their idiotic experience, or feminists trying to speak for other women because of their idiotic experiences. We all have our own different experiences in life and they cannot be simplified down to these stereotypical cherry picked arguments.
@@simpletonapollo9723 it's good to know there are guys out there who were raised the way you were! I commented on this a long time ago. I'll have to listen to it again. I'm sure he is speaking for himself and maybe other men who think this way. Unfortunately they are out there as well. Thank you for your encouraging response. Have a wonderful day! ☺️
@@antropatico I don't entirely know but I don't think you. Likes and dislikes doesn't determine gender, and society doesn't determine likes and dislikes. If society forced someone to play with dolls when they like robots then that'd play a role in gender isn't a social construct. But boys only tend to play with trucks more because they can see moving things a lot more better than females, and a nurturing kind of personality makes more females like dolls because that's what presented to them. Though liking dolls doesn't determine gender because I believe gender is psychological and playing with dolls has nothing to do with how females were psychologically made. Now I do ask you to challenge my thoughts because I haven't placed a firm grasp on whether it is or not.
For all those people who are saying women don't need men and vice versa, guys that's not how things work. We are humans and we need each other and we must learn to coexist. To coexist, we need to learn to make peace with ourselves and not pretend and be something what we were taught or what the society wants us to be. He's encouraging men to embrace their weaknesses and talk about them, there's nothing non masculine about it. In fact it will be a better experience since you'll see that so many other men also go through the same things you do.
I worry we are breading a generation of weak minded people. What is weakness in fact? Fear? Pain? Ect...I could go on about this subject for hours but some people just need to grow a pair and put their foot down instead of expressing their "weakness".
Armen A. That's not what it is. Admitting that your weak doesn't make you weak. In fact admitting to your weakness makes you a strong person. You're strong enough to ask for help because you want to get better. Asking for help doesn't mean whining, complaining or cribbing about the issues. It means you talk to someone about what you're going through and ask for advice. Some people are so weak that they cannot admit to themselves that they need help and and keep it buried within themselves and suffer a lifetime. Don't you think it's better to ask for help instead of suffering in this manner?
Maria Reeves I agree to what you're saying. We need to handle that pain in a better and healthy way and understand that not all men are like this. Some men are, but by labelling them all bad is injustice done to decent men all over.
There has never been any scientific evidence that men as a group express themselves less then women as a group do. In my life many men have expressed there weakness to me and asked for help but no women has ever expressed any type of weakness or asked for my help at any point in my life. I am intelligent enough to understand that my personal experience cannot be generalized to an entire society, that is why I look to actual evidence when I think about society as whole. I have never seen any evidence that suggest women are any more expressive then women are and in all of these feminist papers and talks they never sight a single piece of data to support the idea that men express themselves less. All I am saying is we should stop stereotyping men based off of women's bias personal anecdotes about men. He is not encouraging men to embrace there weakness, he is saying that men should "shut up and listen to women" and that "men are the problem".
Anuradha Gopal that’s not what the saying signifies. Women don’t need men to CARE for them. It just means that women can do work an make a living without men.
I'm experiencing exactly the same thing. I mean I've started acting like *ME* instead of what the world were telling me to be. A man is not like what they say and I was tired about it. Glad he has spoken, because my younger self needed to hear that, I hope this will help others.
I just seen him tonight in the movie " it ends with us" I've never seen him before. What a great actor. I'm not gay but he's a super handsome dude. Lol
@@JBerg-uz5gn He has no honest response to you because he's "Jesus Satan." Fronting as a complex character online, unable to be authentic with his own complexities. An actor, minus the paycheck.
@C A L L M E C A R E L E S S Respect is for the individual to give. Women do not deserve respect, simply for being women. And women already have the freedom to do what they want. You and feminists just don't like the outcome of their free choices. So you keep doubling down on society being disadvantaged for women. Destabilizing society as you go on: separating fathers from their children because of the corruption in family and divorce courts, affirmative action when it comes to women's education and job opportunities, continual demonization of masculinity, pretending there's a war on women, etc. Feminism isn't, and has never been, FOR men. It's kind of in the name...
He’s not taking about supporting men’s rights, like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America. It’s more so about the treatment and perception of women in the United States. I think he’s saying that redefining what it means to be a man is only going to be effective if it’s initiated by men because the problem lies within them and unfortunately if a man struggles with toxic masculinity then they’re are probably not going to listen to a women, but another man. But, it isn’t just a male-specific issue because both genders help perpetuate the issue and thus, we both need to hold each other accountable in order to form more accepting standards of masculinity. The issue doesn’t just affect men or vice versa. These standards teach men that they can’t express their emotions and in turn they reject everything feminine. Hello oppression of both genders. Only men largely make up most positions of power so while they are suffering, it’s not in the same way as women because they don’t have to fight against things like glass ceilings and a pay gap, etc.
@@marilynalberto8503 " like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America" Wrong. In america an insane injustice has happened in 1920. Women got the vote. American men still dont have the right to vote. They can earn the vote by signing up to the draft. The majority of voters will either way be people which dont have to face the consequences of the wars they vote for. Though admittedly, while men have been opressed in every human civilisation, the modern west stripped women of many of their historic privileges and mostly liberated men overthe course of the past ~200 years.
I, a female, will take part in this challenge and be the solution. I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure. I already knew abou this problem, but it's high time we all do something to solve it.
"I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure." While observing your sexual attraction to them goes doooooown. Most men choose the be seen as potential partner more than having the comfort of being authentic. We can't have the cake and eat it.
@@Who_can_save_you_from_hell that isn't necessarily true lots of women say that they find vulnerability sexy. Besides being a good person and standing up for equality is more important than getting laid.
@@allyvandergaast8746 Do you have any studies to suggest that lots of women find it sexy? Studies by all clinical psychologist and anthropologist contradicts your claim.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 You really need a study to convince you to support gender equality. Or that to that the general opinion of most women I've talked to is that they want a nice guy who listens to them and is willing to be vulnerable.
Women... we have our issues too. Listen to our men when they call out our toxic behaviours too... We are always ready to discuss what is wrong with men. And how men have to change. Just remember to check yourself first before trying to fix others with a misguided and broken spirit. Edit: it's been a while since I've come back to this video. I appreciate everyone that was able to agree or disagree with my comment without being rude. To the rest, please take it elsewhere. I don't need those vibes in my notifications.
As expected, no comments from women with acknowledgement of their flaws. I guess what can you expect from a gender that considers themselves to be perfect queens.
Because even as women we hear that feminine qualities are "bad" so we try to reject them. And that's why so many girls say "I am not like other girls", because they want to reject anything girly that makes them "weak"
Lol. Unfortunately in real life all he said apply only for successful, rich and handsome men. Like ,10%. The rest 90% of men population are only loosers in women's eyes ("men up!"). I live long enough to see this all the time. The emotional side is attractive only when guy is attractive, successful or rich. All other are just loosers who needs grow up. :p that's apply for 90% of women. You can reject that but this is the reality.
yes sadly ,i was like this also i hated pink,barbie stuff, jewellery all my life now I'm still struggling with it , i still struggle to cry out when i feel like 😔
After watching this talk together, my partner and I were able to resolve a problem that has been going on straight more than 4 years because he always keeps the pain for himself to endure and tries to avoid talking about it. Thank you!
Miss no conditioner tried framing this absolute gem of a dude as problematic?? Well uno reverse, bc I'm now a Justin baldoni fan! He seems like really insightful guy :)
I wish the men in my work office would hear this and wake up. My voice falls on deaf ears regardless of how many times I complained, and I’m seen as the one with all the issues, because I don’t join in on their filthy sexually harassing jokes against women, even in front of the women in my office.
LJ Swanepoel, Thank you for doing the right thing! I cant even start to say how many times I felt uncomfortable or harass, and honestly people like you made a difference and give us hope.
Because as it turns out not all of us buy into the feminist propaganda on display here. Some of us live in reality and have not been neutered by our gynocentric society.
Ironically him coming out and saying this for men makes him a brave man! Loved this. Easily one of, if not the most, inspiring and “game-changing” Ted Talks out there that I have seen!
As a more sensitive man (HSP), I have to work harder for respect because that's not considered an "acceptable" male trait. The sensitivity and vulnerability have had to be balanced with a toughness. So I have no problem speaking up, debating, calling men and women out on their nonsense, etc. I'm learning to be o.k. the way I am, but it can be lonely. Because as much as women say they want a guy who is honest and open, that doesn't always translate into reality. Women can help if they just be honest about what they really want. That way we can know what we're getting into, or decide not to. If you don't know, discover what you really want so that we don't get blindsided later.
Mr. D. Women want a lot of things pal. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions and being vulnerable as a man. I personally don’t do that not because I’m insecure but because I just don’t really see the point talking about my feelings doesn’t really work for me I just deal with it by walking off the problem but for some men it does, so if expressing your emotions helps you then good👍🏻 However some women do like men who don’t express their emotions, now yes they want honest men but men who don’t really need to be sensitive about many stuff because women are more attracted to men who they feel can protect them more so when they meet a sensitive man that doesn’t really turn them on. However they are some women who do love men who express their feelings. What I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t change your personality to accommodate anyone. If you meet a woman that doesn’t like you sensitive side then you walk away, and hopefully you’ll find one of those women that will indeed accept you for who you are. That’s he thing it’s not Lena fault nor women’s fault some women are attracted to leas sensitive men and others to more sensitive it’s all about their tastes. And one last thing, there’s a big difference between being sensitive and a snowflake, if your one of those people that gets easily offended by everything and cries by LITERALLY everything then that’s a problem cause being overly sensitive is actually a sign of insecurity same thing goes the other way around if someone doesn’t have any emotions or is too afraid then that’s also insecurity. I’m just saying that both sides have their extremes.
I'm also highly sensitive and I totally agree with everything you have said here. The cold, hard truth is that most women want and aggressive, tall, muscular, handsome, man-ape with no negative emotions and no weaknesses of any kind. That is how evolution has programmed then, given that reproduction is extremely costly for them. They only want the single best bale there is to reproduce with. This is why men must be or at least appear to be like that if they want to get a woman who is worth her salt. This video is merely a ploy to weed out the men who actually are too weak to reproduce with by tricking them into revealing their emotions, so that women can see which of the men are "real" alphas and which ones are just faking it.
I agree. My boyfriend has been dumped because he cries when he's sad and shows emotions. But I think it makes him more real. And so does it make you. It makes you real, it means you are sympathetic with the world. ♥️
At first i thought i never needed this video but i ended up watching it with tears. This is both humbling and empowering. Thank you, Justin! I adore you!
It is so sad to scroll through all these comments and see so much negativity, he got up there and was true to himself and for that he should be respected. Do not mock other people for being true to themselves when im fact it is you who have internal issues within yourselves.
"Do not mock other people for being true to themselves when im fact it is you who have internal issues within yourselves." Except those people can see right through his virtue-signalling bullshit. No one should ever respect a beta like him.
it's even sadder that disagreements with this video are deemed negative as if you are the correct idea we should listen to. Some of us have our own minds. That is not negativity But labeling disagreements as negative is the definition.
Jesus Satan JESUS MAN you obviously see low of yourself, what do you have against this man? Are you mad he’s successful, happy, and living? You should go out for a walk, buy a pet and play with it, sit in the sun, go out for a hike and adventure!
@@adriannagrullon6035 Again with this absolute idiocy. There is proof that loads of women in Canada voted for Trudeau because he looked good looking to them. Your whole "Well your life just sucks lol" isn't gonna cut it here. He got voted in because of mainly of his "Because it's 2015" tagline when he was talking about women. Let me flip this on your head. Would you date a man who wasn't successful, was depressed because he didn't know when he was gonna eat next, and was on the verge of putting his head in a noose just so the pain can finally end? There is only two outcomes of this question by the way because it's equally as loaded as yours is to Jesus Satan. If you say Yes: You're a flat out liar and you want to virtue signal. If you say No: You are only proving that hypergamy is a thing and that women don't want to be with the weakest man on the planet. They want to be with successful, happy, and financially stable men.
@@simpletonapollo9723 As a woman, duh. Of course we want to be with a healthy and ambitious person. As a man (I'm assuming), you should want the same in a partner. But that's irrelevant to what Jesus Satan implied. He said this actor has no substance and the girl would only vote for his looks. That's absurd. He obviously has substance and looks aren't important in leadership.
Such an important topic. "Man up" and "boys don't cry" really stop young boys from learning emotional literacy and set us up to do more work in the future when we can't express ourselves.
When you asked for forgiveness I started to cry. I can't believe what am seeing. I thought a man like you didn't exist. Thank you. So much. This is very healing for me as a woman. Thank you so much.
It's interesting what he says about men having to be the "strong silent type" I went to Japan and met a 74 year old Japanese man who grew up in post war Japan- He told me one of the reasons why he was so quiet was because when he was a young child, his parents told him "You're not a girl, you're a boy, stop talking so much and get to work". Of course, being in post war Japan, both men and women had to work very hard to fight the poverty caused by the war, so in reality, there wasn't much room for self reflection in general because of the work that needed be done to survive. However I think women had more freedom to express themselves vulnerably merely because they did not carry the burden of murder as their male companions had. This man's father was a soldier stationed in China, so his guilt and the loss of his comrades was too devastating to face by himself. Therefore, he overworked himself for self validation (aside from survival) and punished himself with alcohol. He slowly killed himself with alcohol and died at age 53, because he had no one to talk to who felt equipped to help him handle his traumas. At that time, when the soldier opened up, people told him to stop talking because it was too hard to hear. At some point in time, all cultures have been scarred by war- we are all just doing our best to heal and move on from the trauma that had been passed down through the generations- I asked my Japanese friend "are you okay?" often because that's how I was raised and he told me that no one asks him that- now it's become a thing between him and I, and we can talk about anything, without fear. He's a grandfather to me now. Sometimes, just asking"are you okay?" makes the world of difference.
That's why every country needs an R U OK? Day. In Australia we have a day called R U OK? Day where you just ask people how they're going because you could be one of the only people to ask them that. It encourages people to open up and have a chat about how they're really going.
@hope dean ... Yeah, another "-day" is really going to solve this. How about you start advocating against feminist encroachment into male spaces, like the men sheds. Women have their spaces, and no-one is advocating to remove them. But every space that men have, or that are majority male, are subject to continuous ideologically-possessed attacks, because "they must be trying to keep women out, and so must be sexist!", or something. Claims like that, made without proof. Men and women process their feelings differently. Men open up and deal with their emotions by DOING things. And one of the places that helped significantly with that is the men sheds, where men, particularly older and retired men, could come together, work on projects, in order to not become socially isolated. And as I said, those are now subject to enforced changes by feminist screeching, and weak toadying men who support them, who don't think men need such spaces, or foolishly think they already must have enough of those. How about you do something practical, rather than some meaningless idea of 'awareness-raising', like a once-a-year R U OK-day? Something that's only used for virtue-signalling, and to make people feel like they did something, when they in fact didn't. And maybe the fact that people need to be pointed out to ask men sometimes how they're doing, hints that this _problem_ goes way deeper than simply "men are raised like this, or told this", etc.
R U OK Day really does not do much. People don't always open up. Keep in mind that people will say "i'm fine" when someone asks. Simply asking unfortunately is never enough.
Very true, I think many of us have replied with "I'm fine" when we're really not and that's okay. If someone doesn't open up yet, they will in their own time when they're ready and when they feel it is necessary to be heard. Some people may not feel ready to be validated but showing that you're willing to validate their internal struggles by offering support can be helpful. You're definitely right though, it does take a lot more than a question to heal from past sufferings, but questioning is the first step.
He's an actor. And he played his part: virtue-signalling to women, while talking other men down, uplifting himself. From the outside it probably looks gold, inside he's still that little insecure kid, desperate to be accepted.
Sensitive men face many problems in the world.... Being one myself, finding that balanced viewpoint while still being able to defend my principals is a challenge. But one worthy of my Time
Sounds like a comment I can relate to a lot. I always want to look at both sides of the coin, be it a story, argument, or a fight before judging on what is good and what is bad.
Ally Vandergaast - exactly. However, guys in grown bodies either ignore that, and or *don't think* when it comes to women. They *always assume* what we/us women like, or want when it comes to them. Smh.
Not to him. Not to any kind of feminist. While he does say some things worth mentioning, he discredits himself when he starts pushing feminist propaganda. There are much better choices out there to listen to.
In the 1980s we had a stillborn son and when my husband went to talk to a guy friend about it, his response was to laugh and joke about it. My husband never spoke about Jacob's death again.
Marni I got the F Formula and i am a little bit disappointed from you sending me the email of this video I believe that i am as a men need the woman help me to Express and Explorer my emotional world .... Buuuttttt .. I resist to the fact that Feminist movement making the new generation of man's fucking puppies in conclusion I found this video just disempowering
Marni, I have schizophrenia and I would like to smoke marijuana. Do you know something about marijuana? Do you smoke marijuana? What to do? Can you help me?
This message was pathetic & completely ideological at its core. I do not believe for a goddamn second that this virtue-signalling fool has men's best interest at heart. He's there to pander to women's feelings. Nothing more.
I’m a 17 year old guy, for reference, and this is potentially one of the best tedtalks I’ve ever heard, and I resignations more with it than any other tedtalk I’ve heard. Well dome mate
@Earth Being Answer me this. If talking about your emotions, feeling, etc is so good and helpful, why is that more women than men attempt suicide? It's just that their methods aren't as successful at killing themselves. Even if you say "it's a cry for help" Then clearly talking about it wasn't very successful was it.
Whatever this guy said, throw it out the window. Other men in this thread mentioned Jordan Peterson, much better to listen to him. Also check out Coach Greg Adams and Rollo Tomassi, if you truly value your life. You will have a better future if you listen to them rather than this guy.
When will people realize we have both masculine and feminine energy and we naturally use both every day even if we ignore or pretend we don't. The definition of being a man is what you make it not what society makes it. Be you be who you want to be.
Wrong. It's women who decide what masculinity looks like, by the standards by which they select the men they find attractive. And vice versa, with men deciding what femininity looks like. It's called s3xual selection. If women liked men who displayed their emotions with every hurdle in their way, then men would've already been like that. So the fact that we're not, shows you the kind of men women select. But in order for people to accept this, they need to acknowledge that women have agency. And acknowledging women have agency goes against this trend of seeing women as nothing other than victims. So that's the point we're at right now...people preferring to seek solace in ideology, in stead of looking at our biology and evolution, which give us way more likely explanations for the things being what they are.
@@jaydamalley3398 2 things 1st don't generalize billions of people on 2 divisions because every human has different needs 2. You are in this comment section for like 7-10 months so go out of your basement and please touch grass ty
@@frankcastle1862 1st Get back to me when you understand you can generalize people without being prejudiced. Like I did, basing it on biology, evolution, evo-psych, stats, etc. 2nd Actually, it's getting up to 4 yrs now. But it's just 5 min at a time. Seems like much, I know, but it's ultimately not that much. This response, for example, only took me 1min. Your concern is touching, though.
That is exactly how I felt all the way growing up. Growing up in a south asian household every guy around me was just supposed to be masculine and Justin literally spoke my heart out. LY
I have always been kind of “feminine” (sensible), because I spend a lot of time with my sister and mom, so, when I was a kid I struggled to be accepted between the boys of my school. Because of that I really understand the point. Today I’m very happy and I’m not trying to be “more man” than I am, although, I accept that sometimes I’m a little over sensitive hahaha. Hope Justin see this. Great talk!
EnigmaOGN I don’t think so. My father has always been around me as a male figure, and also my uncle. And particularly my uncle it’s a very masculine figure. I just enjoyed more passing time with my mom and sister when I was a kid (until this day I enjoy it a lot). Looking it that way, maybe my personality it’s just like that, and it has nothing to do with the fact of me being closer with my mom and sister. Maybe my closeness with my mom and sister it’s a consequence of my personality and not the other way around.
Felipe Lopez. Bro I completely understand you. I'm in the same boat. I used to think I was the only one experiencing this. Thank you for sharing ur story. Makes me feel that I'm not alone.
'Marriage is challenging but beautiful.' --- Been married for 6 years now. Been through tough situations, patience has always been tested, but getting married is one of the best decisions I've ever made. It made me not just a better man, but a better human!
What an intelligent, driven, handsome man who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and speak about matters such as feminism and toxic masculinity! “If I wanna practice vulnerability I need to build myself an accessibility.” “I don’t just wanna be a good man.I want to be a good human!”❤️👏🏾👏🏾
This reminds me of something. My teacher, who is an African American Christian, explained how she didn't know boys started having self image issues around pueberty until her son faced the same problem. She explained how her son was short and skinny. He was still in a carseat when he was in middle school, because he didn't meet the weight requirements. He had long eyelashes and was very hygienic when it came to many things, like his nails and skin. Apparently, he was teased about it and he was super insecure about it.
No, it wasn't. First of all, he's a man at *TEDWomen*, talking to an audience full of women, like he's done his entire career, having played characters women want to see; the ones he lists. Essentially showing the agency women have, by deciding what the market should supply them with. As in, they have power, and they use it. In other words, he's an actor and he's pandering to his particular audience. Secondly, he starts off by saying men shouldn't suffer in silence, while supporting their families, like they did historically, and talk about their problems, and dare to ask for help. But then about half way in, he says men should be confident enough to shut up and listen, to support women? So to continue suffer in secret, like they've always done? He's using that same "man strong, women weak"-card he says is so toxic [sic]. Saying men were always expected to be strong, so they could support their families and communities, despite having to suffer in silence and not being allowed to and accepted when voicing their pain. But then saying that men are the ones who should be silent, and be the ones who should help women. How anyone still takes this talk seriously, and doesn't completely tear down everything he said, is beyond me. Just because it sounds fluffy, and it makes women 'feel good', I assume. And this was just a few things wrong with this talk. Another would be to say, that we need a balance between being men and women. As if gender is a spectrum, which it isn't. It's a bimodal distribution, which provides the overlap and a few exceptions. Evolution already sorted that out for us. No need to tinker with the male-female dynamic. But that's simply the feminist biology-denial at play. And he's using it to virtue-signal to his audience; women.
Would you feel the same if this were a speech about how women need to improve and treat men better? What would you say to support that kind of speech, what points would be good points to make in that context? Most people, regardless of gender, aren't that receptive to being told what they need to change about themselves, especially when the other person does the prioritizing and tells you what you need to become in order to benefit others.
Goondock Saints yes. I would feel the same way. Everybody has to treat everybody with love and respect, regardless of gender, age, race, etc. If there is a better way to treat the men in my life, I would gladly do it.
"If there is a better way to treat the men in my life, I would gladly do it." How about you name a few? Since you predicate that on 'if' you haven't really acknowledged that any ways exist. So I can say the same thing: 'IF' there is some way to make lead into gold, I would gladly do that. (Sounds kind of meaningless when I put it that way, doesn't it?)
+bhavana samhita You'll have to forgive me for being skeptical when there's no "TEDMen" conference to allow you to put your money where your mouth is. ...And the thing is, you can expect that skepticism to keep growing, not just in me but in men in general, the longer that it takes for a "TEDMen" conference to even exist in the first place. Words don't mean a whole lot when the actions are explicitly in opposition to said rhetoric.
It was very shameful... He presents men as children who don't know any better. I don't think condemining a gender as childish, rude and self destructing will bring anyone any good.
the speech started well but then turned into a good old feminist trying to emasculate men and tell them masculinity is not good. Try saying "femininity is toxic" and we'll see what happens to you. - from a woman.
If there are no guys that give you respect, that doesn't mean that you are worth it. It means you are boring. You got to work on yourself to be able to offer those positive vibes. The good doesn't just rush into your life when you abandon the bad.
It more likely is that people have had a certain expectation of you, and when you arent able to uphold "friends" false image, they backfire in some way, even though its not your fault. I do not agree with skisful, as you didnt provide any specifics. But dont change yourself to appease others unless it so happens they want the same thing as you.
If people don't accept you for who you are... Then they aren't worth it >x< Juust...be who you are ❤️❤️❤️ And focus on those who love you for who you are ❤️❤️❤️
Nah, it just took me awhile (as it did this speaker) to realize that it was okay to be vulnerable, particularly among other men. Nothing wrong with that, in my opinion.
Ahh, right. "Real" as the speaker suggests being stuff women usually talk about - emotions and feelings, he doesn't mention gossip and looks(vanity) even though that's their most common topic but let's forget about that small error. Let us all know how much of that "real" stuff can you wear, how much of it can you eat and feed your family with, how much of it can provide you shelter. We'd all be hungry, cold and in caves if men were talking about your "real" stuff. Thanks, but we'll stick with the non-real, and it's funny and pathetic that those who would be hungry/cold/shelter-less without it dare to label it not real, while they call their fantasies and wallowing in self-victimization real. Entitled brats.
Seriously? I like how you, as a male, are telling everyone else what women talk about amongst themselves. I can tell you up front we rarely talk about looks, at least once we're out of middle school. Once out of high school, we *usually* only 'gossip' about our partners and our families; aka, we talk about what's going on in our lives. We talk about our feelings approximately 500x more than we talk about looks or gossip. We are endlessly talking about what our boyfriends are doing to make us happy or piss us off, about how much we love or hate this music or that movie. We usually, however, are just talking about our pets, our jobs, and our favorite activities. There are a select few women who are endlessly spreading rumors into adulthood. Those women are not the majority though. Just a few girls who never grew up.
Maybe listen to his speech again, but now in stead of listening superficially, listen to what he's actually saying, implying and omitting. Hint: think market forces and biology.
Just saw this. And i didn't even know how much i needed to see another brother speaking out loud about what is to be a man without the thrilled "secure, tough and strong stereotype" Justin now you are my now role model PERIODT!
I love the character he played and then after I saw his videos of the proposal and other stories online about him, I have to say he was playing himself in the series and maybe even better than Rafael
![BLACK BAG - Official Trailer [HD] - Only in Theaters March 14](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/Du0Xp8WX_7I/mqdefault.jpg)
"Instead of teaching our children on; how to be brave boys and pretty girls; can we just teach them how to be good humans" -Justin B. (Challenge accepted)
@CanadianLoki76 or just let your boy wear what he wants without fear of being ridiculed
@CanadianLoki76 Promoting false manhood produces men who can't take no for an answer...not men who know how to take a no with grace and strength. I hope you don't have children. Mine will be allowed to wear what they want with the knowledge that some boys are too scared to try it and will ridicule them for it because they can't face their own fears.
@@beverlyprice743 Wether or not someone wears a dress is not a factor in this conversation. I don't care what anybody wears. I have always had clear boundaries growing up, I was raised. BUT, that doesn't mean I had to wear "mens clothes" or do "mens things". I HAVE FREEDOM, even though, actually BECAUS I HAVE BOUNDARIES. I get to wear pink sweatshirts and do "women's things", but I was still given rules and guidelines. Children don't know what they are doing. How are they supposed to work if they are not taught to obey their boss? My grandmother has been a childrens psychologist for decades, still working as a 70 year old. The number one reason why people are depressed is because they are not able to obey boundaries. 1/3 of people who go to the 1/2 - 1 year oblicatory military service in Finland have to stop half way because of this. CHILDREN NEED BOUNDARIES
Thank you
CanadianLoki76 doing as they please will make them into humans, it’s how I became more humane than the people around me, I’ve seen the world and the violence and hate in it, and I wanna become better than that, that’s what doing as I please has done to me
People talk about men wearing dresses are not manly, but they forget that other people fought for their right to wear, ride and say what they like. Dont forget that wearing pants and riding a bycicle was a man thing before it also became a woman thing.
Gorgeous, smart AND sensitive! My kind of man. "I don't just want to be a good man, I want to be a good human." Beautifully said.
There are millions of smart AND sensitve men out there, but none of them are gorgeous thus you won'T find them attractive.
@taothewanderer EXACTLY!!! YOU'RE MY MAN BRO!
@taothewanderer so you can read minds?
@taothewanderer "until your blue in the face" jesus christ wtf
don't forget funny
Guys who are open about their struggles and don't act like a brick wall when it comes to their feelings are the bomb.
Women disagree.
Do they indeed?
Not this woman!
as a brickwall women seem to love running into it.
avoidantbehavior wrong
The kind of speech that should inspire a generation of men.
This kind of speech will destroy a generation of men.
@@datboijdope I’m sorry you feel that way. There’s nothing wrong with men showing emotion, being vulnerable and asking for help when needed ❤
What's so problematic is that sometimes when men do find the courage to open up and show some vulnerability, they're told by some women to 'act like a man and toughen up'. It's really the same as telling a woman to 'act like a girl and sit silent and look pretty'.
Yes it sucks, but it's not because someone try to shut you up that you have to do it. Better is to try to make them understand, and don't lose hope.
Yes, it's awful.
A man often has to feel safe to express his emotions,but once he does? It's awesome.
My husband (a police officer and combat veteran) is the most tender, sweet, empathetic person in the world.
He's always dragging home stray dogs and he won't use his power to hurt anyone.
And he cries a lot more than I do!🤗
Blah, blah, blah... Women hate weak, emotional guys, because eh, they are like women. Polarity attracts not similarity.
@@avahbenjamin9985 I have a friend like that. Kind and thoughtful and not embarrassed to be human. Men like that are treasures 👑
@@ilikehumans1096 we're literally here because they hate that
I have so much respect for actors and actresses who use their influence to shed light on important issues and champion the message of inclusion.
_"Message of inclusion"?_
What?
ditto as performing artists it's a responsibility for every performer to shed the light on more serious issues
@@sumonachakravarty1369 Where did you get that idea?! The only 'responsibility' of performers is to hone their craft. Nothing more.
@@jaydamalley3398 I differ that's not true
@@sumonachakravarty1369 Yes, it is. Their 'responsibility', and your expectations of them, are two different things. Nowhere in their job description does it say they have to shed light on anything.
It's up to them to decide what they do with their abilities.
My dad commit suicide when I was 8. I just learned he was sexually abused and took a really tough role in his childhood. I get it now. I feel sorry he couldn't talk to anybody so he started to drink.
I love this talk! Beautiful.
D Mendoza your strong thank you for sharing ❤️
I applaud your bravery for sharing this in a public platform. All the best in your life.
That's fucked up
I'm so sorry to hear this ♥
Oh wow.
This gentleman not only is a feast to our eyes, but he ALSO has a soul, and it is a beautiful one. His drive to positively influence the male concept, and thus, make an impact on male-female relationships is just so powerful and inviting. I hope more of us, both men and women, get touched by his words, even his actions (which speak louder than words themselves), and feel the urge to be part of this transformation. Thanks Justin!
Blake lively might disagree with you on that
He's also a creepoid who is improvising kissing scenes with his co-stars.
"I don't just wanna be a good man.
I wanna be a good human."
@@umglitch let's try to be both.. (**I read your comment in wrong way..sorry)
Be a nice man that this guy is asking you to be, but know that women will avoid you like plague in dating market.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 If you live your life just to be attractive to women then you are doing something wrong champ =/
@@umglitch Relationship was only one field as an example. But Good luck in your life.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 bro I think you didn't get the idea of this video, just take it easy and watch again =)
and I wish you luck in your life too champ
liked him in Jane the Virgin...like him more today
Agree!
samee
I knew it was him!
Same
Same!!!
This is how a man is suppose to be but when u bring out this side of yourself you are often misjudged. It was around 2 years ago when my class teacher was leaving the school I felt very emotional. I couldn't control my tears I cried . Because of this one day when I was hanging out with my friend he said he has doubt on my sexuality. He thinks that I am probably a gay. From that day onwards I thought I should keep my feeling inside me, I shouldn't express them. Thanks to this "man's" great speech. I think its OK to express ur feelings.
Faraz khan that happened to Justin himself and that did not stop him. If he could do it, you can do it too! 😊
A man is man enough to express his feelings. Stop being a gay male girlfriend to women, and not strong and centered enough to your friends. Common man, be strong, be a role model, do what needs to be done.
U should express ure feelings because u're human
@@Born2neverdie Never be ashamed to express your feelings. If your friends feel that's a problem they're sick, not you.
I feel you
" Real Manliness is not hurting others, Real manliness is helping those who are weak "
Gotta be strong to help the weak. How is you crying all day going to help someone.
Those who are in tough places have no time to cry. They are busy trying to live.
@@Saskfinest1 having moments of vulnerability isn't weakness, it's called being human.
@@isabellarobinson6082 being vulnerable in the face of adversity is weak. There's a time and place for everything. Crying all day is weak, no matter how you put it.
This is why we choose strong leaders. You don't see the president of Ukraine crying all the time even though you know he feels horrible watching his people die.
@@Saskfinest1 🤦♀️
@@isabellarobinson6082 😭
Perfect guy doesn’t exi-
Ha ha, my thoughts exactly!
Lol
^!
Perfect human doesn't exist
Harry Styles also. He’s so respectful and goes out of his way to be there for fans.
he should have been casted as Aladdin
M. M.
Ahhh he would’ve been perfect 😍😭
I was thinking the same exact thing! He would be perfect for Aladdin.
He’s gorgeous!
omg yesssssss
@@jkovert Right? Or the monkey. Can't remember his name.
@@catherineleary9831 Abu
Wow...I felt it when he said "are you brave enough to be vulnerable?" It's like I needed to hear it...I don't show any emotion...I don't cry in front of my parents...I cry alone where no one can see me
Michelle Jackson me too, me too
I cry way more than my wife does.
@Mike Resorting to name-calling for something as insignificant as this is always the best option.
Please cry. I mean it's healthy,you can always cry in front of your loved ones
It's okay to cry. You are human being first.
Kudos to all the men, who have been holding up for so long, but finally are now comfortable.
Cheers!
Being emotional isnt the problem. Being too emotional and soft is the problem.
We need many many more strong sensible men like him... He's more masculine than any of the so called 'macho' men I've seen online....seriously....this is one of the best Ted talks I've heard😊
He needs to do speeches in schools.
He needs to do THIS speech in schools.
@@felisd Right!
@Jack did u listen to anything be said?
@Be Frank no... He can't control who comes to the Ted talk. They booked him to do this talked and he agreed, neither he or Ted could've known how many male and how many females will come that night. As long as this talk can reach some males in the crowd, and some males here on RUclips, he did his thing. He is literally talking about how he tries to get more attention from males and reach out to them. It literally doesn't make sense that he's trying to woo females for several reasons. 1, he couldn't know who comes to that talk that night, Ted booked him and the rest was up to the people buying the tickets. 2, when most of his followers where females he purposely change his account to attract more males to follow him, even when females will unfollow bc they aren't interested in that content.
@Be Frank not only that but majority of men don't agree with the feminist movement
My partner apologies everytime he cries and I always tell him it's a strong man who can cry and cry openly. He always says thankyou and for letting him cry. If only that can come from one of his mates, it would make such a different difference than his gf telling him
I feel with you. My man does the same and I ask him why. He often says that he feels mot masculine enough. it makes me sad because he is the one who can effectively ground me when I have my issues. He is then calm and determined to care for me and this is so utterly manly in my eyes. I think he could not keep the balance if he can blow off steam some times. I don't know how to convince him otherwise.
Tell him " a man crys not because he is weak, but because he has been strong for too long," i have grown up(growing as im 16 rn) with this idea, and i like it. This guy here in the talk says he isnt strong but here he is in front of millions of ppl so hes a bit misguided. Theres a difference between raising your sons to never show emotion, and teaching your sons WHEN to show emotion. Instead of crying at the funeral, cry after, support others and be their rock. Its what men do
@@michaelrogers3857 Thats my ninja way
If he cries a lot he is weak. Lmao
@@masterdingus7074 I feel sorry for you if you truly feel that way
I can't believe someone like him actually exist. bless you.
Paniz Haghighi I know right!
@Mario To be honest, we don't know this man. And everything you mentioned is just a preconceived notion you had after watching the video. I could personally relate to everything he said. And none of your arguments fit on me. Nothing wrong with being kind, caring and emotionally expressive.
There are many, MANY who do. But you're right few believe it, including those men.
Is that cupid flying around me... Oh okay
🙋 I believe, I am one of them 😊
I'm so glad my son turned out being such an advocate for women and women's rights and against toxic masculinity. He played baseball, and football in high school. He snowboards and surfs. He writes, plays, and sings the most beautiful love songs. I've never heard him say anything disrespectful towards women. I attribute a lot of this to growing up somewhere extremely liberal, and going to UC Santa Cruz for the first 4 years of college. He does stand up, and I am so proud.
Am so happy for you both. To be ourselves is the greatest gift.
Is he an advocate for men
Sound like you brainwashed your child. Interesting.
As soon as those two words were spoken- "Me too". I couldn't take it. I completely broke down. Bless the soul of this wonderful person.
When he gave the Me too reference, my breath sucked in! My heart skipped a beat. Carol (10-2019/Phoenix Arizona)
When he spoke the words _Me Too,_ that was the final nail in the coffin. Just virtue-signaling, denying women's agency, and then declaring support for a witch hunt.
Jay Damalley if you’re not a rapist you needn’t worry about the “witch hunt”
@@midwestbambi Majority of the men the #metoo clan have gone after are not rapists either.
Amit Arvind what is this sentence backed up by? source?
I'm a 65 year old guy and this is one of the best messages to young men and even to old farts like me to just be yourself. I've been working on this stuff half my life to become the kind of man he's talking about. What a relief to finally be able to say to another man, "Damn, I am hurting and I'm scared". I'm sending this to my 18 year old son. Thank you Justin!!!
Dont do that. Don't destroy your son's life. This is speech is very harmful. I suggest presentation video's by Dr. Jordan Peterson or Dr. Robert Glover "No more mr. nice guy".
@@timbergreenproperties9296 why do you say this speech is harmless?
@@MattsBookPro I said harmful, not harmless. That young man talking in video is not a development psychologist or subject matter expert in academia. In fact, this guy is defining good man incorrectly. You can be good friend to women by being that, but not intimate romantic lover or husband. Most women are not attracted intimately to that type of guy. Also, it will not bring success in your other field of life such as career and business. This is the root cause for so many men who are suffering from depression in post modern time. I suggest to check out presentations by Clinical Psychologist and Professor at Toronto University Dr. Jordan Peterson or another clinical psychologist Dr. Robert Glover in RUclips.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 So much to let a person live huh?
@A p No, that's not he is talking about. His video does not talk about balancing. Even if he did, we should not be taking his advice unless he is a subject matter expert.
I am male. I cried while watching this and I AM NOT ASHAMED OF THAT.
good to know that you are a part of the change. :))
You should be
as you should ☺️☺️!!
@@ramon4152 I smell toxic Maskuliniti
own it man
"Instead of teaching our children how to be brave boys and pretty girls; can we just teach them how to be good humans" so powerful. That should not be controversial but it is.
Yeah, until Putin's tanks start rolling in... then you'll be screaming "be a real man!"
Ah you women are cute when you're being hypocritical.
Let's raise more good humans.
Super Junak Lol.😂
PantsFreeZone the guy gets praised by feminists and leftist cucks
You mean retrain men? Because that's what this is.
First we need to advertise more condoms.
Not more Justins.
I agree with a lot of this message, but I think it does downplay the role of women in perpetuating the issue. Women also need to learn how to accept and deal with male expressions of emotion and vulnerability.
I've been dumped because I was upset and scared before a worrying medical procedure. I've had someone actually stop loving me after I broke down and cried in front of her, because we were going to be apart and I was going to miss her. I know enough men with similar experiences.
Telling men to open up and embrace their vulnerability is a good thing, but saying that we are the sole problem is short sighted.
Women aren't always the warm, glowing beacons of empathy you paint them as. They are imperfect beings, just like men, and they do play their part in the internalisation of male emotion.
Kris Yo, why are you picking bad female partners? Good female partners will accept your emotions.
I'm really sorry that happened, Kris, and I hear you-- this isn't a male or female issue alone. It's a human issue, and it will take all identities working towards a compassionate understanding of each other to heal generations of hurt. We women certainly have our own share of work in this task, and every one of us is on a different journey. I hope that you are able to find people who love and support you on your own journey, and who find your emotions to be as lovable as any other piece of you. Best wishes, Natalie
@ Kris I absolutely agree. However, we all attract certain types of partners into our lives, mostly partners with similar issues, beliefs as our parents. If you had a mother who was uncomfortable with her own emotions or people being vulnerable, then you will also attract the same type of women into your life. The good News is that you can change what kind of people you attract in the future, by deleting the blueprint for women you have stored in your subconscious mind, which goes: Women are uncomfortable with emotions. You can literally reprogramme this belief into a belief of your preference. And suddenly you attract more emotionally vulnerable women into your life. There are other factors that play a role in this process, but this is totally possible. If you research about Theta Healing or EFT, you will find that these modalities offer ways to have your beliefs reprogrammed and your reality changed. There are SO many Solutions just waiting to be discovered , we just need to be Open to them.
I agree with you. Part of understanding feminism is realizing that both men AND women reproduce patriarchy. We all have a role to play in dismantling toxic masculinity and patriarchy
Agreed!
I have seen lot of women saying don't cry like a girl.
I'm so glad I live at a time and place where this is being talked about. My only wish is that it had happened long before I was born. But at least we have time to do better for the next generations.
Grow some balls David, you're listening to toxic, feminist propaganda.
I agree brother, thank u for sharing!!
@OH Yeh! OH Yeh! 😂
Jesus Satan stfu
Nope,we need boys to become men not girls
I'm a woman, and I'm so happy of listening to thoughts like that. Really, just think that men like this actually exists makes me fell hope.
ok
exactly
The thing is that we're all like that inside. Wrapped in words and illusions, men and women for that matter. Whats the talk about this hope? Men will say the same thing about women but that is exactly where this illusion grows. Open your eyes now if you ever want to have a shot at being yourself
Are you sure about that?
That hope must be lost now…
His wife must be the luckiest woman .
And the worst part is that men themselves put each other down for being human. Truly tragic.
@WildWonkyWizard The irony.
@@jordanbabin The even-worse part is that men who put each others down for being Human almost always do so at the behests of other women, the "justification" used by those women usually being that men who show vulnerabilities must be pre-emptively punished by any means possible (in the West, it'd usually be via social ostracization) for their perceived inability and future failures to protect women.
WildWonkyWizard uh ggy
watch their proposal video on video; can confirm shes so lucky
When you are overwhelmed by an emotion, your body needs to release the pressure. You cry because you are able to feel so intensely, because you are human. Cry, let it OUT. You will feel better.
Men feel less of a need to cry than women. That's basic biology and psychology. Why do you think this is a problem that needs fixing?
@@BlunderCity Honestly I don´t know if you're talking to me, because I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing. However, I would like to reply to your comment.
My mother always said that she doesn't like when I cry, that I annoy her and that I should stop "playing victim", I never cry for too long, once it gets out, I stuff it back inside of me, then it comes back as anger, then I transform it into sadness and the cycle continues. I'm not saying this happens to everybody, but it's sad to imagine that so many people feel like it's not okay to express their emotions.
Ps: I suffer from an untreated mental illness, so there's that.
@@humita4610
_"I never mentioned anything about this needing fixing."_
Yeah but the Ted Talk implies that this needs fixing and you're replying to that video saying it's OK to cry. I logically respond that, while it's perfectly OK, men feel less of a need to do that than women.
There is a trait of personality of the Big 5 (the most used personality tool by clinical psychologists) called "neuroticism" which means emotional stability. And while men and women tend to cluster around the middle, women have a tendency to score higher on that scale and men lower. One manifestation of emotional instability is crying, it's a coping mechanism. Women need it more than men.
That's the reason why women are more likely to suffer from psychological disorders linked to high neuroticism such as depression and anxiety while on the other end of the spectrum, people are likely to be psychopath (extreme insensibility) and nearly all psychopaths are men.
The point is that men cry less because they don't need this so much and this has been demonstrated internationally and cross culturally. I don't think that socialisation make men cry less, it's likely that men cry in private rather than in public.
@@BlunderCity Good for you, you're informed. But honestly, please don't reply back. If you feel the need for someone to hear about all of this, idk start a blog maybe. I never once mentioned anything about gender, I get it, the video is about men and toxic masculinity, my comment isn't.
Just chill, you're getting conclusions out of nowhere.
That's right.
This guy would've made the PERFECT Aladdin..
@John Mandrake dont think so, the guy is too old, too well build to be a homeless, young man, who quick on his feet and a thief, eat 1 meal per day, and of course, aladdin is sometime cunning and quick thinking, this man look too kind for that role
@@quannguyenle9775 ...sure he's not the most ideal.....but compared to the original casting ...for sure
@@quannguyenle9775Lê exactly!
But... he's white
@@mammatin7209 well.. technically he is tan
Who came here after It Ends With Us?
Truly a genuine person, Justin.
I think you, and people like you need to speak out at schools and male forums, to help change the future generations' thinking, and stop toxic masculinity. We all need each other, male and female, and change the unhelpful thought patterns. It ends with us!
How many of the supporters in the comments are men? The men I see commenting seem to resent it. What trials did he even overcome? Toxic Maculinity isn't in the DSM-5, and unbottling your emotions isn't a therapy that ever works.
Is your entire opinion based on your intuition? You feel it's true?
It just sounds religious to me, in the way that everyone needs a demon to blame.
Mee
Yeah turns out the dude's a creepoid. You wanna pur him in front of kids? You should be arrested for criminal endangerment.
Why do you feminists always hang around creepoids? Besides, I get secondhand embarrassment every time I listen to this muppet.
Part of this needs to be acknowledged by women also because a lot of women see these things (emotions, vulnerability, etc.) as less masculine also.
"A lot of women also see it as less masculine"? Women are *the entire reason* why it's considered unmanly to cry. It's called sexual selection pressures. Leading to men trying to be capable and stoic providers.
@@jaydamalley3398 Did you not hear the part where he talked about how he was afraid to share and be vulnerable even with his pals?
@@tanyarawat9700 Yes. And why do you think that is? Maybe because women want men who are stoic and capable, and so men amongst each other either mutually challenging or chastising one another for showing weakness? It's the "sexual selection pressures" I was talking about.
@@jaydamalley3398 I guess being "stoic and capable" doesn't translate to having no weaknesses?
@@tanyarawat9700 Naturally not. But it does translate into not letting your emotions control you, so you can stay productive. Something women can use a little of.
It's not only men that don't know how to listen. Many people don't. It is a skill that really needs to be taught.
From a person who usually has a lot to offer in conversation but isnt listenednto all the time. I agree. Listening is now a skill🙄
As a man... this is one of the best TED talks i've seen.
no it's not lol.
Hey thanks for not calling him a simp
@@feministthoughts729 he is by definition
@Jason Salazar Why is that?
@Jason Salazar I think it's a good idea for men to be more open. Sure, it may not solve every problem, but it will make things better (for both men and women). I think he had a fair point.
God bless.
That story of the proposal had me crying. I love seeing my other men grow and being better.
Wow. He’s so strong for doing this, not physically, but mentally.
@@ilikehumans1096 He's like Roosh V in full character.
@@daftwod yeah hes kinda like an inverted version of him
and physically
He looks Shredded what do you mean not physically?
*No lies, when I first saw Justin's role in a segment as an actor last year I rolled my eyes. "Stereotypical". After seeing this, I don't know if I could identify a stronger man. Vulnerability is the MOMENTUM that starts movement, that will ultimately lead to change. A happier, healthier, more honest world. Who couldn't get behind that? Thank you JustinXTed*
Omg hi Cass
you don't know if you could identify a stronger man????
Daniel Alcantar I know, when I read that, I got a 6-pack from laughing so hard.
Really? You can't think of a stronger man? You must not be looking very hard.
Matthew,
Women today are seen as strong when they whine on about emotional nonsense so by that logic, this guy is extremely strong.
Teach our kids how to be good humans. Yes. Exactly. Perfect. 😊
man = human
No need to additionally teach them anything.
IRISH MGTOW I totally agree! I think since he's a man, he's speaking on behalf of men, but girls need to be taught as well! As parents it's our job to lead and guide our children, boys and girls!
@@Cheryl_Frazier He doesn't speak on my behalf. What is this nonsense you speak of? I'm sorry, but all of the nonsense he talked about are about HIS own personal demons. I never seen women as lesser, ever since I was a kid I never seen women or girls as lesser. He is talking about his own experiences. Nothing more.
I am actually rather sick and tired of men trying to speak for me because of their idiotic experience, or feminists trying to speak for other women because of their idiotic experiences. We all have our own different experiences in life and they cannot be simplified down to these stereotypical cherry picked arguments.
@@simpletonapollo9723 it's good to know there are guys out there who were raised the way you were! I commented on this a long time ago. I'll have to listen to it again. I'm sure he is speaking for himself and maybe other men who think this way. Unfortunately they are out there as well. Thank you for your encouraging response. Have a wonderful day! ☺️
Why can't you liberals say people? When you say humans, you sound like a robot or an alien
Yup! It was Blake Lively's fault. The way they try to tear down this man.
"As if being gay makes you less of a man" 👏👏👏
@Be Frank A man is a grown male
@SugarieDreams a woman is a large girl.
@@sugariedreams2707 I thought gender was a social construct.
@@antropatico I don't entirely know but I don't think you. Likes and dislikes doesn't determine gender, and society doesn't determine likes and dislikes. If society forced someone to play with dolls when they like robots then that'd play a role in gender isn't a social construct. But boys only tend to play with trucks more because they can see moving things a lot more better than females, and a nurturing kind of personality makes more females like dolls because that's what presented to them. Though liking dolls doesn't determine gender because I believe gender is psychological and playing with dolls has nothing to do with how females were psychologically made.
Now I do ask you to challenge my thoughts because I haven't placed a firm grasp on whether it is or not.
you are a woman, woman will never understand men.
For all those people who are saying women don't need men and vice versa, guys that's not how things work. We are humans and we need each other and we must learn to coexist. To coexist, we need to learn to make peace with ourselves and not pretend and be something what we were taught or what the society wants us to be. He's encouraging men to embrace their weaknesses and talk about them, there's nothing non masculine about it. In fact it will be a better experience since you'll see that so many other men also go through the same things you do.
I worry we are breading a generation of weak minded people. What is weakness in fact? Fear? Pain? Ect...I could go on about this subject for hours but some people just need to grow a pair and put their foot down instead of expressing their "weakness".
Armen A. That's not what it is. Admitting that your weak doesn't make you weak. In fact admitting to your weakness makes you a strong person. You're strong enough to ask for help because you want to get better. Asking for help doesn't mean whining, complaining or cribbing about the issues. It means you talk to someone about what you're going through and ask for advice. Some people are so weak that they cannot admit to themselves that they need help and and keep it buried within themselves and suffer a lifetime. Don't you think it's better to ask for help instead of suffering in this manner?
Maria Reeves I agree to what you're saying. We need to handle that pain in a better and healthy way and understand that not all men are like this. Some men are, but by labelling them all bad is injustice done to decent men all over.
There has never been any scientific evidence that men as a group express themselves less then women as a group do. In my life many men have expressed there weakness to me and asked for help but no women has ever expressed any type of weakness or asked for my help at any point in my life. I am intelligent enough to understand that my personal experience cannot be generalized to an entire society, that is why I look to actual evidence when I think about society as whole. I have never seen any evidence that suggest women are any more expressive then women are and in all of these feminist papers and talks they never sight a single piece of data to support the idea that men express themselves less. All I am saying is we should stop stereotyping men based off of women's bias personal anecdotes about men.
He is not encouraging men to embrace there weakness, he is saying that men should "shut up and listen to women" and that "men are the problem".
Anuradha Gopal that’s not what the saying signifies. Women don’t need men to CARE for them. It just means that women can do work an make a living without men.
I'm experiencing exactly the same thing. I mean I've started acting like *ME* instead of what the world were telling me to be. A man is not like what they say and I was tired about it.
Glad he has spoken, because my younger self needed to hear that, I hope this will help others.
Bg Jimy good for you!
laboomerang thank you so much
Maybe you've simply gotten older and you're suffering from low T?
Elmer Elmtree Jesus man, just listen to the talk and apply it.
Dennise Randolph - Jim Jones told me the same thing when he handed me a glass of Kool-Aid. 😤
I just seen him tonight in the movie " it ends with us" I've never seen him before. What a great actor. I'm not gay but he's a super handsome dude. Lol
He is super handsome
This is by far the best Ted Talk that has resonated with me.
I couldn't agree more 👍
Why? Because the guy is good looking?
@@ilikehumans1096 Why are you commenting on like every comment here in a hateful manner.
@@JBerg-uz5gn He has no honest response to you because he's "Jesus Satan." Fronting as a complex character online, unable to be authentic with his own complexities. An actor, minus the paycheck.
@@ilikehumans1096 you're name is very disrespectful and appalling but you probably don't care do you 😡😡🙄
OMYGOD YESS “ are you brave enough to be vulnerable… Are you strong enough to be sensitive” this.
Being a woman AND a feminist, I really want to support men's rights too now.
He's really humane.
WE ALREADY HAVE RIGHTS!!
@C A L L M E C A R E L E S S Respect is for the individual to give. Women do not deserve respect, simply for being women. And women already have the freedom to do what they want. You and feminists just don't like the outcome of their free choices. So you keep doubling down on society being disadvantaged for women. Destabilizing society as you go on: separating fathers from their children because of the corruption in family and divorce courts, affirmative action when it comes to women's education and job opportunities, continual demonization of masculinity, pretending there's a war on women, etc.
Feminism isn't, and has never been, FOR men. It's kind of in the name...
He’s not taking about supporting men’s rights, like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America. It’s more so about the treatment and perception of women in the United States. I think he’s saying that redefining what it means to be a man is only going to be effective if it’s initiated by men because the problem lies within them and unfortunately if a man struggles with toxic masculinity then they’re are probably not going to listen to a women, but another man.
But, it isn’t just a male-specific issue because both genders help perpetuate the issue and thus, we both need to hold each other accountable in order to form more accepting standards of masculinity. The issue doesn’t just affect men or vice versa. These standards teach men that they can’t express their emotions and in turn they reject everything feminine. Hello oppression of both genders. Only men largely make up most positions of power so while they are suffering, it’s not in the same way as women because they don’t have to fight against things like glass ceilings and a pay gap, etc.
I'll support feminism when it's called "Gender Equality".
@@marilynalberto8503
" like pointed out men and women technically share the same rights. At least in America" Wrong. In america an insane injustice has happened in 1920. Women got the vote.
American men still dont have the right to vote. They can earn the vote by signing up to the draft. The majority of voters will either way be people which dont have to face the consequences of the wars they vote for.
Though admittedly, while men have been opressed in every human civilisation, the modern west stripped women of many of their historic privileges and mostly liberated men overthe course of the past ~200 years.
I'm 17 and I am shocked that this is 3 years old but only has 2.8 million views. This Talk needs to go viral, to come forward.
When you're 27 (preferably/hopefully sooner) you'll wish you hadn't said this.
@@jaydamalley3398 agreed
The ultimate SOY BOY talk
@@pulsipher6I feel sad for you
@@pulsipher6Actually the last 5 mins did get pretty soy
"As if being gay makes you less of a man."
Eye opener
It does though...I think he meant "gay" as the guy used it to mean with anything linked to emotions and sensitivities.
It does, being rammed as a man is not very masculine I must say lol
@@s.a5332 If i do the ramming though?
@@moonie1825 lmfao nice 😂
you didn't know that?
I, a female, will take part in this challenge and be the solution. I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure. I already knew abou this problem, but it's high time we all do something to solve it.
"I will listen to all the men in my life and make sure they feel safe and secure."
While observing your sexual attraction to them goes doooooown.
Most men choose the be seen as potential partner more than having the comfort of being authentic. We can't have the cake and eat it.
@@Who_can_save_you_from_hell that isn't necessarily true lots of women say that they find vulnerability sexy. Besides being a good person and standing up for equality is more important than getting laid.
@@allyvandergaast8746 no it’s not
@@allyvandergaast8746 Do you have any studies to suggest that lots of women find it sexy? Studies by all clinical psychologist and anthropologist contradicts your claim.
@@timbergreenproperties9296 You really need a study to convince you to support gender equality. Or that to that the general opinion of most women I've talked to is that they want a nice guy who listens to them and is willing to be vulnerable.
Women... we have our issues too. Listen to our men when they call out our toxic behaviours too... We are always ready to discuss what is wrong with men. And how men have to change. Just remember to check yourself first before trying to fix others with a misguided and broken spirit.
Edit: it's been a while since I've come back to this video. I appreciate everyone that was able to agree or disagree with my comment without being rude. To the rest, please take it elsewhere. I don't need those vibes in my notifications.
Say that louder. PLEASE!!!
God bless you
@@loadedpipe1311 And also you 🙏
As expected, no comments from women with acknowledgement of their flaws. I guess what can you expect from a gender that considers themselves to be perfect queens.
@@realeyesrealizereallies99 I think you missed the point of my comment.
We need more men like this! Thank you for using your platform to empower men to be vulnerable.
it's sad that I'm a female but feeling all the things that he's talking about
Because even as women we hear that feminine qualities are "bad" so we try to reject them. And that's why so many girls say "I am not like other girls", because they want to reject anything girly that makes them "weak"
SH you are not the only one, like for real 😳
Celsea C spot on! This was me for a long time, still coming out of it!
Lol. Unfortunately in real life all he said apply only for successful, rich and handsome men. Like ,10%. The rest 90% of men population are only loosers in women's eyes ("men up!"). I live long enough to see this all the time. The emotional side is attractive only when guy is attractive, successful or rich. All other are just loosers who needs grow up. :p that's apply for 90% of women. You can reject that but this is the reality.
yes sadly ,i was like this also
i hated pink,barbie stuff, jewellery all my life
now I'm still struggling with it , i still struggle to cry out when i feel like 😔
After watching this talk together, my partner and I were able to resolve a problem that has been going on straight more than 4 years because he always keeps the pain for himself to endure and tries to avoid talking about it. Thank you!
Miss no conditioner tried framing this absolute gem of a dude as problematic??
Well uno reverse, bc I'm now a Justin baldoni fan! He seems like really insightful guy :)
ms No Conditioner 😂😂 dying
ms me ryan reynolds fr lively
You know so much. Wow your like so smart!
This is such a wonderful TED talk. I hope this touches many men (and women) because he sends an amazing message. Thank you.
I wish the men in my work office would hear this and wake up. My voice falls on deaf ears regardless of how many times I complained, and I’m seen as the one with all the issues, because I don’t join in on their filthy sexually harassing jokes against women, even in front of the women in my office.
LJ Swanepoel you are doing the right thing. Dont let them make you question yourself. You are the better human being
If more people hate that and express that in your office and everywhere, we don't need a speech like this..
I agree. But in my workplace is the opposite because my women co workers harass guys
LJ Swanepoel, Thank you for doing the right thing! I cant even start to say how many times I felt uncomfortable or harass, and honestly people like you made a difference and give us hope.
Because as it turns out not all of us buy into the feminist propaganda on display here. Some of us live in reality and have not been neutered by our gynocentric society.
Me before the video: 18 minutes long!!!! 🤔
Me after the video: keep going dude...!!! 😍😭
Lol you can always adjust the video speed. He speaks slowly enough where you can still understand him at 1.5x the normal speed
I cannot stop laughing. I love these comment section.
Do you still feel the same?
Ironically him coming out and saying this for men makes him a brave man! Loved this. Easily one of, if not the most, inspiring and “game-changing” Ted Talks out there that I have seen!
As a more sensitive man (HSP), I have to work harder for respect because that's not considered an "acceptable" male trait. The sensitivity and vulnerability have had to be balanced with a toughness. So I have no problem speaking up, debating, calling men and women out on their nonsense, etc.
I'm learning to be o.k. the way I am, but it can be lonely. Because as much as women say they want a guy who is honest and open, that doesn't always translate into reality.
Women can help if they just be honest about what they really want. That way we can know what we're getting into, or decide not to. If you don't know, discover what you really want so that we don't get blindsided later.
Mr. D. Women want a lot of things pal. There’s nothing wrong with expressing your emotions and being vulnerable as a man. I personally don’t do that not because I’m insecure but because I just don’t really see the point talking about my feelings doesn’t really work for me I just deal with it by walking off the problem but for some men it does, so if expressing your emotions helps you then good👍🏻
However some women do like men who don’t express their emotions, now yes they want honest men but men who don’t really need to be sensitive about many stuff because women are more attracted to men who they feel can protect them more so when they meet a sensitive man that doesn’t really turn them on. However they are some women who do love men who express their feelings.
What I’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t change your personality to accommodate anyone. If you meet a woman that doesn’t like you sensitive side then you walk away, and hopefully you’ll find one of those women that will indeed accept you for who you are. That’s he thing it’s not Lena fault nor women’s fault some women are attracted to leas sensitive men and others to more sensitive it’s all about their tastes. And one last thing, there’s a big difference between being sensitive and a snowflake, if your one of those people that gets easily offended by everything and cries by LITERALLY everything then that’s a problem cause being overly sensitive is actually a sign of insecurity same thing goes the other way around if someone doesn’t have any emotions or is too afraid then that’s also insecurity. I’m just saying that both sides have their extremes.
I bet you're still a virgin.
I'm also highly sensitive and I totally agree with everything you have said here. The cold, hard truth is that most women want and aggressive, tall, muscular, handsome, man-ape with no negative emotions and no weaknesses of any kind. That is how evolution has programmed then, given that reproduction is extremely costly for them. They only want the single best bale there is to reproduce with. This is why men must be or at least appear to be like that if they want to get a woman who is worth her salt. This video is merely a ploy to weed out the men who actually are too weak to reproduce with by tricking them into revealing their emotions, so that women can see which of the men are "real" alphas and which ones are just faking it.
I agree. My boyfriend has been dumped because he cries when he's sad and shows emotions. But I think it makes him more real. And so does it make you. It makes you real, it means you are sympathetic with the world. ♥️
I agree. This is definitely something both genders need to work on.
At first i thought i never needed this video but i ended up watching it with tears. This is both humbling and empowering. Thank you, Justin! I adore you!
Thanks for sincere comment
@@ardsarya20 💜
No but for real though
The amount of love I hold for him, one day I pray that I am lucky enough to find and have someone like this in my life.
you will
who's here because of "it ends with us"?
Me😂
Mee
and who's here again because Blake Lively sued him? Turned out Justin was the scam all along. UGH men.
It is so sad to scroll through all these comments and see so much negativity, he got up there and was true to himself and for that he should be respected. Do not mock other people for being true to themselves when im fact it is you who have internal issues within yourselves.
in*
"Do not mock other people for being true to themselves when im fact it is you who have internal issues within yourselves."
Except those people can see right through his virtue-signalling bullshit. No one should ever respect a beta like him.
it's even sadder that disagreements with this video are deemed negative as if you are the correct idea we should listen to. Some of us have our own minds. That is not negativity But labeling disagreements as negative is the definition.
The fact that you use the term beta destroys any point you may be trying to make.
There was literally nothing in that post that says anything about hating men.
Run for President. I'll vote for you. You got the touch!!
This is why women voted for Trudeau, they care nothing about substance, anything goes a long as he's hot.
Jesus Satan
JESUS MAN you obviously see low of yourself, what do you have against this man? Are you mad he’s successful, happy, and living? You should go out for a walk, buy a pet and play with it, sit in the sun, go out for a hike and adventure!
@@adriannagrullon6035
Again with this absolute idiocy. There is proof that loads of women in Canada voted for Trudeau because he looked good looking to them. Your whole "Well your life just sucks lol" isn't gonna cut it here. He got voted in because of mainly of his "Because it's 2015" tagline when he was talking about women.
Let me flip this on your head. Would you date a man who wasn't successful, was depressed because he didn't know when he was gonna eat next, and was on the verge of putting his head in a noose just so the pain can finally end?
There is only two outcomes of this question by the way because it's equally as loaded as yours is to Jesus Satan.
If you say Yes: You're a flat out liar and you want to virtue signal.
If you say No: You are only proving that hypergamy is a thing and that women don't want to be with the weakest man on the planet. They want to be with successful, happy, and financially stable men.
KLM that is gay
@@simpletonapollo9723
As a woman, duh. Of course we want to be with a healthy and ambitious person. As a man (I'm assuming), you should want the same in a partner.
But that's irrelevant to what Jesus Satan implied. He said this actor has no substance and the girl would only vote for his looks. That's absurd. He obviously has substance and looks aren't important in leadership.
Such an important topic. "Man up" and "boys don't cry" really stop young boys from learning emotional literacy and set us up to do more work in the future when we can't express ourselves.
If you think that's the problem, then please get out of the feminist bubble. Men are NOT emotionally trailing after women...lol.
@@jaydamalley3398 oh boy.......
@@Ashesinferno28 If you want to make a point, go ahead. I'm not holding my breath, though.
i think....most parents will do that to both girls and boys. They taught them to be strong regardless of their gender.
yea turn all men into women.. and they wonder where have all good men gone.
When you asked for forgiveness I started to cry. I can't believe what am seeing. I thought a man like you didn't exist. Thank you. So much. This is very healing for me as a woman. Thank you so much.
I want a guy who’s as in touch w his feelings as this man is
you dont.
@@TJHTouring Sir, drop the feminist gender studies woo, kick it towards me - slowly!
@@TJHTouring Then how did it end up in your pocket? You say someone gave it to you without you knowing?!
You think you do, but you don't.
No. You do not. Stop lying to yourself.
It's interesting what he says about men having to be the "strong silent type"
I went to Japan and met a 74 year old Japanese man who grew up in post war Japan- He told me one of the reasons why he was so quiet was because when he was a young child, his parents told him "You're not a girl, you're a boy, stop talking so much and get to work". Of course, being in post war Japan, both men and women had to work very hard to fight the poverty caused by the war, so in reality, there wasn't much room for self reflection in general because of the work that needed be done to survive. However I think women had more freedom to express themselves vulnerably merely because they did not carry the burden of murder as their male companions had. This man's father was a soldier stationed in China, so his guilt and the loss of his comrades was too devastating to face by himself. Therefore, he overworked himself for self validation (aside from survival) and punished himself with alcohol. He slowly killed himself with alcohol and died at age 53, because he had no one to talk to who felt equipped to help him handle his traumas. At that time, when the soldier opened up, people told him to stop talking because it was too hard to hear. At some point in time, all cultures have been scarred by war- we are all just doing our best to heal and move on from the trauma that had been passed down through the generations- I asked my Japanese friend "are you okay?" often because that's how I was raised and he told me that no one asks him that- now it's become a thing between him and I, and we can talk about anything, without fear. He's a grandfather to me now. Sometimes, just asking"are you okay?" makes the world of difference.
Good example. Thanks for sharing!
That's why every country needs an R U OK? Day. In Australia we have a day called R U OK? Day where you just ask people how they're going because you could be one of the only people to ask them that. It encourages people to open up and have a chat about how they're really going.
@hope dean ... Yeah, another "-day" is really going to solve this.
How about you start advocating against feminist encroachment into male spaces, like the men sheds. Women have their spaces, and no-one is advocating to remove them. But every space that men have, or that are majority male, are subject to continuous ideologically-possessed attacks, because "they must be trying to keep women out, and so must be sexist!", or something. Claims like that, made without proof.
Men and women process their feelings differently. Men open up and deal with their emotions by DOING things. And one of the places that helped significantly with that is the men sheds, where men, particularly older and retired men, could come together, work on projects, in order to not become socially isolated.
And as I said, those are now subject to enforced changes by feminist screeching, and weak toadying men who support them, who don't think men need such spaces, or foolishly think they already must have enough of those.
How about you do something practical, rather than some meaningless idea of 'awareness-raising', like a once-a-year R U OK-day? Something that's only used for virtue-signalling, and to make people feel like they did something, when they in fact didn't. And maybe the fact that people need to be pointed out to ask men sometimes how they're doing, hints that this _problem_ goes way deeper than simply "men are raised like this, or told this", etc.
R U OK Day really does not do much. People don't always open up. Keep in mind that people will say "i'm fine" when someone asks. Simply asking unfortunately is never enough.
Very true, I think many of us have replied with "I'm fine" when we're really not and that's okay. If someone doesn't open up yet, they will in their own time when they're ready and when they feel it is necessary to be heard. Some people may not feel ready to be validated but showing that you're willing to validate their internal struggles by offering support can be helpful. You're definitely right though, it does take a lot more than a question to heal from past sufferings, but questioning is the first step.
im so in love with him.....his character is pure gold..
He's an actor. And he played his part: virtue-signalling to women, while talking other men down, uplifting himself.
From the outside it probably looks gold, inside he's still that little insecure kid, desperate to be accepted.
Yeah his character, his being good looking is irrelevant, isn't it
His wife is very lucky
@Nene Rawrs ? Apparently.
Strange he still feels the need to pander to women.
When he spoke the truth I found myself getting angry, only to realize he’s right. As men our hearts must reach further than our wrath.
Sensitive men face many problems in the world.... Being one myself, finding that balanced viewpoint while still being able to defend my principals is a challenge. But one worthy of my Time
Sounds like a comment I can relate to a lot. I always want to look at both sides of the coin, be it a story, argument, or a fight before judging on what is good and what is bad.
What problems do you face ?
Sensitive men rock!
carpo719 just remember woman like sensitive guy's
Ally Vandergaast - exactly. However, guys in grown bodies either ignore that, and or *don't think* when it comes to women.
They *always assume* what we/us women like, or want when it comes to them. Smh.
Having a man talk about feminism instead of a woman:
Perhaps they’ll listen now
@Suçons Hopefully! 🙏
Not to him. Not to any kind of feminist. While he does say some things worth mentioning, he discredits himself when he starts pushing feminist propaganda. There are much better choices out there to listen to.
@@batira that's... the only thing you got out of this...? jesus
Pssh
Selim the Succubus ur miserable...
Being an actor he is speaking like a motivational speaker
That is a Real man. Who is a compassionate, honest and courageous person
He's a groveling liar
@@proudgary2228 how
i agree, but i think the whole point of this speech was to shed light on how stupid the word "real man" is, because all men are real men
@@proudgary2228 Nailed it!
When everyone realized that we all are part of the problem, there begins the progress
Cringe
@@shammywammy No.. facts
yes thank you
Unfortunately some ppl just stay ignorant and that scares me. Part of humanity is evolving but a large part of it is devolving.🤦🏾♀️
@@shammywammy no its not.. u are
Oh god, this made me cry so bad. I can't put into words how important this is. Just increased my hope in humanity 150% , thank you so much Justin.
In the 1980s we had a stillborn son and when my husband went to talk to a guy friend about it, his response was to laugh and joke about it. My husband never spoke about Jacob's death again.
I'm so sorry.
Omg... what a horrible,despicable man. That's more than toxic masculinity,that is straight up psycophaty
That’s a horrible friend.. very sorry for the loss of your son as well. Prayers for you and him
He is a great speaker! And such a great message too.
He is a really good public speaker, image presentation, confidence. Not all actors can communicate so clearly.
You got that right,
Incredible. I absolutely love this. Such a great message for men
Marni I got the F Formula and i am a little bit disappointed from you sending me the email of this video
I believe that i am as a men need the woman help me to Express and Explorer my emotional world ....
Buuuttttt ..
I resist to the fact that Feminist movement making the new generation of man's fucking puppies in conclusion I found this video just disempowering
Marni, I have schizophrenia and I would like to smoke marijuana. Do you know something about marijuana? Do you smoke marijuana? What to do? Can you help me?
This message was pathetic & completely ideological at its core. I do not believe for a goddamn second that this virtue-signalling fool has men's best interest at heart. He's there to pander to women's feelings. Nothing more.
@@יוסףיצחקסבג I can't give you more than 1 like bro.. I'm sorry
@@SabatSch95 you've only proven his point my friend. Acknowledging womens problems isnt the same as pandering
I’m a 17 year old guy, for reference, and this is potentially one of the best tedtalks I’ve ever heard, and I resignations more with it than any other tedtalk I’ve heard. Well dome mate
Im a 17 yesr old guy, and I have just about the opposite opinion. I think this type of thinking is deeply harmful to men.
@@sguraya7223 why?
@Earth Being Evidence?
@Earth Being Answer me this. If talking about your emotions, feeling, etc is so good and helpful, why is that more women than men attempt suicide? It's just that their methods aren't as successful at killing themselves. Even if you say "it's a cry for help" Then clearly talking about it wasn't very successful was it.
Whatever this guy said, throw it out the window. Other men in this thread mentioned Jordan Peterson, much better to listen to him. Also check out Coach Greg Adams and Rollo Tomassi, if you truly value your life. You will have a better future if you listen to them rather than this guy.
When will people realize we have both masculine and feminine energy and we naturally use both every day even if we ignore or pretend we don't. The definition of being a man is what you make it not what society makes it. Be you be who you want to be.
Wrong. It's women who decide what masculinity looks like, by the standards by which they select the men they find attractive. And vice versa, with men deciding what femininity looks like. It's called s3xual selection. If women liked men who displayed their emotions with every hurdle in their way, then men would've already been like that. So the fact that we're not, shows you the kind of men women select. But in order for people to accept this, they need to acknowledge that women have agency. And acknowledging women have agency goes against this trend of seeing women as nothing other than victims. So that's the point we're at right now...people preferring to seek solace in ideology, in stead of looking at our biology and evolution, which give us way more likely explanations for the things being what they are.
@@jaydamalley3398 you need to cope. Badly.
@@Trupera Project some more, why don't ya.
@@jaydamalley3398 2 things
1st don't generalize billions of people on 2 divisions because every human has different needs
2. You are in this comment section for like 7-10 months so go out of your basement and please touch grass ty
@@frankcastle1862 1st Get back to me when you understand you can generalize people without being prejudiced. Like I did, basing it on biology, evolution, evo-psych, stats, etc.
2nd Actually, it's getting up to 4 yrs now. But it's just 5 min at a time. Seems like much, I know, but it's ultimately not that much. This response, for example, only took me 1min. Your concern is touching, though.
Damn, this almost made me cry. Great talk.
tja patrik! hoppas du hade en bra jul och nyår. kram//marie
Stop crying lol. This video is dumb.
MAn up lol.
minh vu viet When did wamen lead ever?
Another indoctrinated victim of feminism literally calling for men to emasculate themselves.
That is exactly how I felt all the way growing up. Growing up in a south asian household every guy around me was just supposed to be masculine and Justin literally spoke my heart out. LY
Embrace masculinity cuz men are ment to be masculine
Thank you for sharing this
Because your household got it right. This guy did not...
Damn how do you feel now?
I have always been kind of “feminine” (sensible), because I spend a lot of time with my sister and mom, so, when I was a kid I struggled to be accepted between the boys of my school.
Because of that I really understand the point.
Today I’m very happy and I’m not trying to be “more man” than I am, although, I accept that sometimes I’m a little over sensitive hahaha.
Hope Justin see this. Great talk!
So you admit that not having a suitable male role model transformed you in to an effeminate manlet.
EnigmaOGN I don’t think so. My father has always been around me as a male figure, and also my uncle. And particularly my uncle it’s a very masculine figure. I just enjoyed more passing time with my mom and sister when I was a kid (until this day I enjoy it a lot).
Looking it that way, maybe my personality it’s just like that, and it has nothing to do with the fact of me being closer with my mom and sister.
Maybe my closeness with my mom and sister it’s a consequence of my personality and not the other way around.
Maria Reeves I agree. But I have been call “Over sensitive” enough times to start taking it with humor.
soyboy
Felipe Lopez. Bro I completely understand you. I'm in the same boat. I used to think I was the only one experiencing this. Thank you for sharing ur story. Makes me feel that I'm not alone.
'Marriage is challenging but beautiful.'
--- Been married for 6 years now. Been through tough situations, patience has always been tested, but getting married is one of the best decisions I've ever made. It made me not just a better man, but a better human!
Patience grasshopper, wait until she dumps you and takes you for everything you've got.
What an intelligent, driven, handsome man who isn’t afraid to be vulnerable and speak about matters such as feminism and toxic masculinity!
“If I wanna practice vulnerability I need to build myself an accessibility.”
“I don’t just wanna be a good man.I want to be a good human!”❤️👏🏾👏🏾
He sure knows so much about being a decent human being...😃
This reminds me of something. My teacher, who is an African American Christian, explained how she didn't know boys started having self image issues around pueberty until her son faced the same problem.
She explained how her son was short and skinny. He was still in a carseat when he was in middle school, because he didn't meet the weight requirements. He had long eyelashes and was very hygienic when it came to many things, like his nails and skin. Apparently, he was teased about it and he was super insecure about it.
Why is there so much hate? This speech was heartfelt, authentic and beautiful.
No, it wasn't. First of all, he's a man at *TEDWomen*, talking to an audience full of women, like he's done his entire career, having played characters women want to see; the ones he lists. Essentially showing the agency women have, by deciding what the market should supply them with. As in, they have power, and they use it. In other words, he's an actor and he's pandering to his particular audience.
Secondly, he starts off by saying men shouldn't suffer in silence, while supporting their families, like they did historically, and talk about their problems, and dare to ask for help. But then about half way in, he says men should be confident enough to shut up and listen, to support women? So to continue suffer in secret, like they've always done?
He's using that same "man strong, women weak"-card he says is so toxic [sic]. Saying men were always expected to be strong, so they could support their families and communities, despite having to suffer in silence and not being allowed to and accepted when voicing their pain. But then saying that men are the ones who should be silent, and be the ones who should help women.
How anyone still takes this talk seriously, and doesn't completely tear down everything he said, is beyond me. Just because it sounds fluffy, and it makes women 'feel good', I assume.
And this was just a few things wrong with this talk. Another would be to say, that we need a balance between being men and women. As if gender is a spectrum, which it isn't. It's a bimodal distribution, which provides the overlap and a few exceptions. Evolution already sorted that out for us. No need to tinker with the male-female dynamic.
But that's simply the feminist biology-denial at play. And he's using it to virtue-signal to his audience; women.
Would you feel the same if this were a speech about how women need to improve and treat men better? What would you say to support that kind of speech, what points would be good points to make in that context? Most people, regardless of gender, aren't that receptive to being told what they need to change about themselves, especially when the other person does the prioritizing and tells you what you need to become in order to benefit others.
Goondock Saints yes. I would feel the same way. Everybody has to treat everybody with love and respect, regardless of gender, age, race, etc. If there is a better way to treat the men in my life, I would gladly do it.
"If there is a better way to treat the men in my life, I would gladly do it." How about you name a few? Since you predicate that on 'if' you haven't really acknowledged that any ways exist. So I can say the same thing: 'IF' there is some way to make lead into gold, I would gladly do that. (Sounds kind of meaningless when I put it that way, doesn't it?)
+bhavana samhita
You'll have to forgive me for being skeptical when there's no "TEDMen" conference to allow you to put your money where your mouth is.
...And the thing is, you can expect that skepticism to keep growing, not just in me but in men in general, the longer that it takes for a "TEDMen" conference to even exist in the first place. Words don't mean a whole lot when the actions are explicitly in opposition to said rhetoric.
This is so important this message needs to be heard more now then ever. Justin keep up your great work we need you..
My eyes got teary but when he said “forgive us" i just gave up
mine too!
It was very shameful... He presents men as children who don't know any better. I don't think condemining a gender as childish, rude and self destructing will bring anyone any good.
Tears were streaming down my face towards the end of his speech
There is no "us", plurality doesn't exists in this world. Every individual is different from others. Treat everyone differently.
You are weak
This
Is
Absolutely
Phenomenal
And
Beautiful
I love this man
Half the comments here simply prove Justin's point about toxic masculinity.
Not even a little.
the speech started well but then turned into a good old feminist trying to emasculate men and tell them masculinity is not good. Try saying "femininity is toxic" and we'll see what happens to you. - from a woman.
Can you point out which parts in the video he specifically expressed that masculinity isn't good? I didn't get that message at all.
masculinity is not good when u take steroid and trt for having big muscle without any effort like baldoni did...
franco stoppardi He's not in sports. So it's ok.
Just watched his film' it ends with us ' he was and is remarkable..n can be the new face for masculinity..
This hit me hard as a guy who never felt excepted by other guys. I feel encouraged to be me and let positive vibes flow! 👌☺😅😭😂👍😰😱😁
If there are no guys that give you respect, that doesn't mean that you are worth it. It means you are boring. You got to work on yourself to be able to offer those positive vibes. The good doesn't just rush into your life when you abandon the bad.
Thanks, for replying. I do agree with you, to some extent.
It more likely is that people have had a certain expectation of you, and when you arent able to uphold "friends" false image, they backfire in some way, even though its not your fault.
I do not agree with skisful, as you didnt provide any specifics. But dont change yourself to appease others unless it so happens they want the same thing as you.
Mike Soo omg I have the very same problem
If people don't accept you for who you are...
Then they aren't worth it >x<
Juust...be who you are ❤️❤️❤️ And focus on those who love you for who you are ❤️❤️❤️
"A lot of us (men) are really good at making friends and talking....just not about anything real." Wow. So good.
You must have a really fake life to believe that.
Nah, it just took me awhile (as it did this speaker) to realize that it was okay to be vulnerable, particularly among other men. Nothing wrong with that, in my opinion.
Sorry mate, but sports, politics, and - believe it or not - women, are actually real things
Ahh, right. "Real" as the speaker suggests being stuff women usually talk about - emotions and feelings, he doesn't mention gossip and looks(vanity) even though that's their most common topic but let's forget about that small error. Let us all know how much of that "real" stuff can you wear, how much of it can you eat and feed your family with, how much of it can provide you shelter. We'd all be hungry, cold and in caves if men were talking about your "real" stuff. Thanks, but we'll stick with the non-real, and it's funny and pathetic that those who would be hungry/cold/shelter-less without it dare to label it not real, while they call their fantasies and wallowing in self-victimization real. Entitled brats.
Seriously? I like how you, as a male, are telling everyone else what women talk about amongst themselves. I can tell you up front we rarely talk about looks, at least once we're out of middle school. Once out of high school, we *usually* only 'gossip' about our partners and our families; aka, we talk about what's going on in our lives. We talk about our feelings approximately 500x more than we talk about looks or gossip. We are endlessly talking about what our boyfriends are doing to make us happy or piss us off, about how much we love or hate this music or that movie. We usually, however, are just talking about our pets, our jobs, and our favorite activities.
There are a select few women who are endlessly spreading rumors into adulthood. Those women are not the majority though. Just a few girls who never grew up.
This was amazing. Justin Baldoni is incredibly compelling and well spoken. He did such a great job!
Maybe listen to his speech again, but now in stead of listening superficially, listen to what he's actually saying, implying and omitting.
Hint: think market forces and biology.
He got you good didn't he?
Just saw this. And i didn't even know how much i needed to see another brother speaking out loud about what is to be a man without the thrilled "secure, tough and strong stereotype" Justin now you are my now role model PERIODT!
Guess what? this dude was my favorite character of the series Jane The Virgin. I didn't know why I liked him so much until today.
I love the character he played and then after I saw his videos of the proposal and other stories online about him, I have to say he was playing himself in the series and maybe even better than Rafael