i agree with earlier, i think by high school many guys are already socialized to believe showing any kind of vulnerability is wrong. i know i definitely felt that way when i was in hs
I am a high school English teacher and I am showing this next week to connect to the masculinity motif in Things Fall Apart. Should be an engaging discussion.
I've got this dream, of sitting down and having dinner with a few friends talking about important things without anyone getting distracted by instagram or tinder or technology in general. I'm so jealous of the previous generations for not having to deal with all that crap!
@Biggus Dickus You just admitted to not watching it. And there is a five minute window in the video that addressed exactly what you were complaining about. Now you are arguing that your ignorance is knowledge. In the English dictionary, ignorance is exactly defined as a lack of knowledge. Watch the video. Articulate what you think is wrong with it. Then perhaps people might take you seriously.
@Biggus Dickus They absolutely did not talk about opening up to complete strangers. Almost all the men at the table are all friends. In fact there is one episode where the host talks to his friend about the sexual abuse he suffered when he was young. Even in this episode it shows the host talking to his father specifically about how he avoided uncomfortable conversations. To pretend this is something American men do not do is not being realistic. The thing that is weird, is I don't agree with every conclusion they reach. But I have to watch the video in order to know what I disagree with. So again, the specific point is why do men avoid these conversations with each other?
as a female this literally made me cry. it seems like the backlash against any feminist movement is so strong, on the internet or irl, and people who do openlysupport them are usually women themselves. seeing men talk about these issues in this way is so rare.
nolie blue its tragic too because the feminist movement will never eradicate male supremacy until we include men in the process of healing the divide between gender archetypes. infact, all the men that misogyny has inadvertently affected are effectively being mobilized by the archaic masculine paradigm into hating women. its the most damaged men who often lash out the hardest against woman kind.
Cthulhu Daddy i think the majority of feminists realize this, or are atleast finally realizing it, and unfortunately internet culture allows angry teenagers to mobilize and even hijack a movement. i mean, these young people are rightfully angry but the fact that the internet gives them power to influence developed movements and institutions without the same responsibility that say an irl feminist would have to usurp to enact change. certainly, that can be a great thing and it has worked in favor in many cases where imediate action is needed but you also have a bunch of vulnerable people impulsivly pushing change with great velocity and inevitably that impulse is going to manifest in the form of retaliation, its human nature. its why the latest brand of feminism taste eerily the same as the guys who were treating women badly a few decades ago. i mean, as a growing adult feminist i see less and less of the “kill all men” type feminists and, in a world where i never knew about the internet, i would even tell you ive never run into an feminist of that description. its a case of a silent majority, though. you have zealous activists who take up all this broadcasting space and most of us who really care about womens rights dont have to shout it at strangers over a laptop screen. the most effective ones are quietly living their ideals the best they can and making change where they can.
Blob Monster well i can see why people freak out about rape, i mean, who isnt angry that rape happens, they see it as safety at all costs. the issue is that, when you prioritize safety over skepticism and critical though (though an effective survival mechanism), all forms of reasonable doubt are sought out as “anti-woman” when infact doubt, when motivated by just intent, is just simply “anti-mob.” that being said, the statistic show us that most instances of rape allegations are only false lesser than 5-10% of the time and a comedian’s unsolicited exposed cock is just objectively unsettling.
Cthulhu Daddy Cthulhu Daddy i mean you got me on the Louis CK thing it was not something i looked into too deeply, which only proves a point that i know we both agree on. but otherwise your just making arbitrary disagreements. im sympathizing with your point. the point was precisely that you would have to be born yesterday to not be angry with rape and murder (“i mean, who isnt angry about rape?” is a rhetorical question, not literal), i agree with you on that, dude, thats why i said i understand why it freaks people out. i produced the statistic not to mute skepticism (because i literally contended FOR skepticism in the previous sentence) but to present the fact that the statistical reality of things is not the same as the large scandals you see surrounding the famous and wealthy. you have cases like the Louis CK thing where this guy in the public eye asks for permission and still gets penalized in the midst of a cultural phenomenon meanwhile the actual enviroment in which rape occurs is producing legitimate harm a majority of the time. celebrity sensationalism and news focus dont reflect reality and thats why sensational feminism is driving people to hate what started out as a decent idea: women just livin life, same as men.
Cthulhu Daddy Cthulhu Daddy everyone of your responses includedes a presumption that is kinda not what im getting at, my guy. man. when i use the word feminism im trying to refer to an idea of a fair game not the movement but if its too tainted by the idea of authoritatianism and puritanical enforcement then fuck that man, ill just usea different word. im what you would classify as a liberal, in full disclosure but im not a follower of big L “Liberalism” or any other mob. i am just as disgusted by authoritarianism as you man. i think we should all just enjoy this shit we have here on earth man. this is not what this shit was originally about. back in the days it was about free love, good old freedom, and telling the man we cant be controlled. i think it still can be. man, i dont want to put a metaphorical chastity belt on anyone and force anything down anyone’s throat, id just like people to play nice if they can agree, you know. all the women in my life want that same fair shot and none of em want to do with any of that rampage and authority over men. i mean, maybe i just have decent friends but none of the people i actually maintain meaningful contact with are actually like the screetching cry babies you see on twitter. i mean, what if i were to judge you like that? im sure you would not want to be lumped in with all those katana weilding dudes who write reddit posts about how they want to rape a lady because she friendzoned him. im not a dummie and i know you probably arent either. my main dealio with equality is if we want a society that treats people fairly, we gotta help heal the pain men experience with compassion and love not controll and shame. you and i can probably agree that men experience suicide, incarceration, homicidality, and general neuroticism at a higher rate than woman. thats clear evidence to me that theres something going on thats not quite equal and its hurting us, its hurting women, and fuckin up shit down the road. im not governed by any movement just because i use the f word, i just want better for me, you, and everyone else. most of the reasonable women who say they believe in equality want that too. the face of feminism you see in the media is a case of confirmation bias. people, whether they agree or disagree, always love to see crazy people yelling, listen to stories that divide the room in two, and hear one liners that usually dont work out irl. well, ive probably done enough typin. people are smarter than you write em off. they might frequently become blinded but they learn lessons. if you can trust yourself to be smart enough to see through bs then why would you think most anyone else is different? thanks for tossin the conversation around w me.
my goodness, this series should be a mainstream ritual for our society. I'm grateful to have found it when I did. The struggles are pretty much everything I've been battling in therapy for multiple years now and I feel I'm no closer than when I began. I can't wait to watch the other episodes and see where it leads me.
Is it weird that I relate to this as a female? I've struggled to open up as much as other women do and idk why. I've always held myself back from revealing emotion and have felt insecure that I'm not "feminine" enough. Kinda similar yet the opposite of what they're talking about. Great ideas put out here though, I was planning on going to sleep but couldn't help but watch the rest of this!
It’s not weird. I’m a women and I really felt the same as you. I’ve always felt like I’m not feminine enough (literally since I was a kid) and let’s not talk about me having emotional conversations cause that’s something I struggle with! If there’s anything I hate in this world, is the word Stereotype... they have always messed me up
I get it and this message needs to be heard by straight men AND males who call themselves Christian. That's not going to happen with a gay man in the group or a pagan god hanging out in the background. Just my thoughts.
Mikay Mouse OMG! I feel the same!!!! Especially when it comes to friendship, because I always feel that if I want to be friends with some guy, it means that I'm hitting on him and if I want to be friend with another girl (even when we have nothing in common), its okay! Just cause she's a girl too. Why do we have such a closed concept about feminine and masculine, right?
This is an excellent topic and interesting conversation, I've always wondered how men really feel and what they're thinking and talking about when together. I grew up without my mother in a predominantly masculine environment and Though in the presence of a stepmom, identified with the men in the family mostly because of shared origin or background. The men never allowed themselves to be vulnerable and father figure shamed his wife for doing it. So I sometimes (often) feel the same way as you. Don't you think it has to do with how the girls identify with their mom and the boys with their dad and to what extent parents or caretakers allow their children to communicate their feelings ? In my mind the lack of mother figure or healthy feminine role model is directly related to struggling to revealing emotions or authentically opening up to other women... I might be wrong, still learning
I find this topic endlessly fascinating. I think that 'toxic masculinity' and 'fragile masculinity needs to be exposed for what it is. But you're telling me they couldn't find a more articulate and eloquent group of young men? These men can barely finish a thought, and what they do manage to say is shrouded by so many you-knows, likes, ummmms, ambiguous gesticulation and hesitancy that I get lost in what is the actual point they're trying to make. They also interrupt each other and go off on tangents in a way that the line of thought is lost. There should've been someone in charge of 'mediating' the conversation. What a shame.
Dan Übec I understand your point, however what you've described is exactly how authentic conversations usually are. What you describe wanting it to be would likely have been a more scripted discourse. I personally prefer the authentic version and think there's more value in hearing/sharing it. This is an excellent series!
I understand what you mean in that it feels like a genuine and candid exchange, that being said, I would've liked something more along the lines of the discussions in the Hollywood Reporter channel. I personally don't see the harm in making sure whoever is speaking is not interrupted or spoken over. They often lose their train of thought, and we're left wondering what they intended to say. It's also a matter of protocol and respect towards others, I personally try not to interrupt people if I engage in a discussion with them, precisely because I don't like it when it's done onto me.
THIS IS CRUCIAL! Especially now a days. I never had the awakening to this type of conversation in my youth, and thank the universe for my coming to terms with my vulnerability and femininity early enough. Men and boys need to hear these videos so they don't perpetuate these toxic rules that men put on each other.
This kind of bs stunted my growth as a man. Women do not respect men that ‘identify with the feminine’. Let me guess, you are friend zoned by girls with jerk boyfriends and once they hit their 30s they’ll come to you as the safe option
I am absolutely obsessed. I have been having theses conversations with my partner and I always questions the interactions between him and his friends. I am so making him watch this and promoting this series to all men!
It's a very good point that is made around 23:20. I think one way that we as men can avoid toxic masculinity and reframe our mindsets is by reminding ourselves "I don't always have the answer and that's perfectly okay". We need to become comfortable with considering and discussing things knowing full well that we most likely do not have the answers to them. And even trying not to find simple, immediate answers for everything because life is not always simple.
Yes exactly! I, a woman, have actually noticed myself when I have told a male friend about my issues, I’ve learned already to first start by saying that I amnot expecting an answer or solution from him but this is what’s up. It feels sad for me to have to start that kind of a conversation in that way. Also, when a man desperately tries to find a solution to a woman’s problem that she just wanted to open up about to him, it can easily feel like “mansplaining” to her. And that is a very frustrating feeling to have (for women)
this would also really help women who are survivors of sexual abuse. As a survivor I often struggled in relationships with men, not because they were abusive or lacked sensitivity or anything. But because no matter how great a guy is, he will almost always try to fix things. And there's just no fixing rape. It's so hurtful to have to look someone in the eyes and tell them: "sorry, but you can't use your _masculine_ tools on me. You can't be my protector. The damage is already done." I'm essentially breaking their masculinity in that moment and that's an additional burden I don't want.
Valhalla Understood and agreed (I am a woman). No matter the situation, a man very much attracted to women, strong or virile, will activate his défense mechanism on “his female”, if I may say. He will want to help to show her how “smart and strong” he is. And if you kind of reject his trials, if you hold him back from starting his process of defence and fixing your issues, you’ll be perceived as castrating and frustrating, much the same way as if you repulse him for some reason right in the middle of an intercourse. I have had the same problem with men. On the reverse, when you’re actually the one asking for help, suddenly men all disappear. They like initiating everything to show how smart they are. We say women are complicated and/or complex, and difficult to handle. I say men are also hard to handle at times and it can reveal to be hard work to make them understand that they should accept to help whenever needed and not every time their male hormones are in action.
I noted it is my opinion, but as a critique of yours, the advice generally is not always unwarranted, and there are multiple ways of viewing it. Trying to solve a problem is something that comes naturally to certain personality types, and they shouldn't be punished for doing something that comes naturally but encouraged to adapt and explore other ways besides their own without shitting on them. What is good manners is largely subjective, and depends on what part of the globe your on. in terms of your masculinity thing, I would encourage you to investigate for yourself how the male mind works and whether or not you want to use the label is irrespective of the fact that most problems we've been dealt have been solved by male minds (inventors) not tooting horns, I am pointing to a biological design. but again this is my opinion so if it resonates with you cool, if not cool...
@Julia Reynolds I agree with you on one hand, however on the other hand have you ever considered that empathy can be demonstrated in different ways? I don't think the conversation stops at listening as there are probably many different ways to demonstrate empathy, the focus on "listening" is myopic and ignores other explorations.
It's really interesting how as a trans man I experience the exact same things. I simultaneously feel validated in my manhood and also understand how much growing I still have to do as a man. I struggle with listening to friends who are emotionally vulnerable with me. I want to solve, to fix, to give advice. Women and non-binary people tell me often I should just listen and show empathy, but it's really hard. I have a a bit of an easier time opening up personally, but I tend to hide my pain or trauma through joking a lot, it's a coping mechanism. Asking for help though? Never. I always feel like I have to be strong enough on my own. I guess all men have these issues in common, no matter how we were raised. We probably internalize these messages about masculinity through society, media and family, regardless if we are seen as men or not. Thank you for sharing these conversations! I hope to take all the insights with me on my journey of becoming a better person for myself and the people around me ❤
The look in Justin’s dad’s eyes when he’s saying he wants to know him on not just a “dad” level so he can better understand himself. SO PROUD. Gave me chills. As a woman, I am so thankful for these conversations between men.
It bothers me when people try to gender emotions. It’s so infuriating. I’m a woman and I’m allowed to be angry. Men are allowed to be vulnerable. I love this talk.
Love that you’ve started this series!! About men not actually talking about difficult things, I’ve also noticed how men have opened up to me, a woman, in such a deep and vulnerable way, and then when we are together with other people I notice how that person, that I learned to know in private, just dissapeared and again put up that wall of ”being a man”. This has happened so many times to me with different male friends, and every time I feel so sad about it and just hope they will grow up some day to understand that they don’t have to play that ”manly” part to be accepted by others.
Excep they do. A big part of masculinity is strength, willpower, resilience etc. A man must be strong and resilient. Society was built by men, hard working, resilient, and strong men who put aside their fears and weaknesses and barreled through the gates of human progress. If we all sat down and talked about our feelings and cried, we would go extinct. Women don't have the high amount of testosterone, women do not have that high capacity for power and achievement. You would never understand.
I think their is a way to be "open" without being "vulnerable" and men need to be allowed to be men and define themselves. The issues comes when it is attracting the opposite sex and women can sometimes use men's vulnerability against them. Men don't fear marriage they fear divorce. Men don't fear opening up they just fear opening up to the wrong.
Jesus if you go to the settings wheel in the lower right-hand corner of the video and click subtitles CC you should be able to put Spanish subtitles yourself.
I've never commented on a RUclips video before, glad this is my first one. This video was a recommendation from a professor of mine. I don't know if any or my classmates are going to see this (idc really) but I would've be happier if some teacher show me this during my school years. Being "masculine" is a struggle for a lot of people who identify themselves as men: is about how you look, what you wear and a lot of stereotypes I'm just happy to be rid off. If you ever feel not masculine enough, broke the margins and embrace who you are.
I love how they wove in conversations with a Gender Studies professor with guys talking about their lived experiences. It made for a truly well-rounded broader conversation. Also, Matt McGorry and Javier Munoz are phenomenally insightful and well-read.
Ironically, that confirmed this video to be pure propaganda bullshit. That "professor" is a known liar, a complete radical who cares only to further his anti-West, anti-male, anti-White narrative in hopes of achieving his radical communist utopia. Seriously, just read this guy's work, he's completely insane & genuinely doesn't give a rat's fuck about men or their issues. Not to mention, everything he said here was false & is NOT backed up by the science. This video is complete & utter trash & should never be taken seriously. It's an exercise in ideology, not humanity.
Wow, as a female I have learnt so much, just by listening. I had no idea what guys went and do go through daily in their Lives. Thank you guys for sharing part of your, intimate, vulnerable self.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! As the mother of 3 boys, aunt to 3 nephews, sister to 1 brother and daughter to 1 man who has struggled with his vulnerability, THANK YOU! MORE PLEASE!
When Dr. Kimmel started talking about “being a real man in America” it reminded me of something I witnessed (and now I really wish I spoke up about it). I worked at a mall that had an ice rink that held many hockey tournaments through out the year. This one was a pee wee tournament. It was down to the last couple games and obviously the fourth place is probably one of the hardest spots to get, good enough but still not quite. I remember seeing this little boy who couldn’t be much more than 7 or 8 trying to hold back tears... his team was in 4th place. His dad didn’t realize what his son was doing until the little boy wiped away a tear. This “dad” dragged his son to the side and was yelling at his son to “stop crying” and “be a man” and he eventually shoved his son into the wall because his yelling just made his son cry even more. My heart broke and I was in shock. This was almost 15 years ago. I cannot imagine how this little boy turned out. To be physically shown that a man is never to show soft emotions at such a young age just further engrains the don’t emote and don’t talk “dark and mysterious “ aspect of being a man. Honestly, show me a relationship that has is smooth running and still has one person in the couple who doesn’t talk to their s/o or opens up because it’s “not manly to show emotions”.
Side Note- Everything about Justin Baldoni just screams proper husband material. Cool, calm and collected. I am really enjoying the episodes, keep them coming :)
THANK YOU! I am raising a 13 year old son by myself. I look almost fruitlessly everywhere for wholesome inspiration in the media for him. Can you do a series something like this, but for younger men and teens? I will have him watch this one too. P.S. I also think 'masculinity' and 'femininity' are not real things except that we've made them so. Be YOU. If you identify as a man, then WHATEVER you do is what a man would do. Period.
Don’t listen to these ignorant people, using gay as an insult. Disgusting homophobia… Your son has an open minded and understanding mother. That’s wonderful!
When you will be 60 years old.....nobody will go to you with a list or contract or document written down whether you were properly and accurately masculine enough for 60 years..... life is not some to do list only thing that seems real to you is what is in your head and in your heart. other things are just delusions of the outside world.
I come back to these videos from time to time because this is so important and beautiful. I share this set of videos to my friends, no matter the gender, ALL THE TIME.
Loved your TED talk. But loving this even better. The conversations we have as women and what we want for our men, but struggle to get through to them. Thank you guys.
His father is fantastic, being in touch with your feelings and expressing yourself in healthy and fulfilling ways is what being a human being is all about, and thus what it is to be a man.
This is incredibly interesting. I was struck to hear, as a woman, how these men struggle to define "masculinity" and how it can hurt and limit them in the same way that women can be considered inferior just by being called "feminine". It's so obvious now to see two groups divided only by sexual organs suffer from the same widespread societal expectations. I think we'd all be wise to call an emotion an emotion, a reaction a reaction, a feeling a feeling, an action an action, an attribute an attribute, and stop assigning such thing to any gender category. Many human languages have developed over time to define even inanimate objects like chairs and pencils as feminine or masculine; this must greatly impact the way that culture defines itself and its expectations. I'd love to hear more conversation about how language shapes people's ideas of things and of themselves. Thanks for sharing such an open conversation!
I can't believe this has been here for two years already and I have not seen this yet!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely fantastic movement going on here!! I'm a huge supporter of this kind of content!! Great, great, great job!!!!
As a girl coming from an Indian household I related to every bit about feminine qualities being looked down upon. Although my father is a very progressive man who has very liberal views on gender and never behaved as the alpha male at home, my relatives did not raise their boys to be authentic and to be at ease with expressing their feelings and love(romantic, platonic and familial) for others. I wish they watch this and learn something positive. Great job Justin. You finally gave me hope that men can actually change if given a safe space. Got great load of respect for you!!
I am really passionate about this work in the world and feel blessed that I am in a place where I am supporting Men to be in their full power. Keep up the good work.
Please continue this series. The world needs it badly. Also, I know you probably don't read these, but if you could talk about the juxtaposition between men wanting to express their emotions and wanting to do these kinds of things, but having women who majoratively don't want a man who does these things, and wanting to be with those women for one reason or another.
Love. LOVE. Please continue this series. It's helping me so much become a better wife to my husband, mother to my son and daughter, sister to my 2 brothers, and daughter to my father.
This just rent my heart in two. Not as a woman, but as a single mother who knows that her son needs just this kind of connection to other men in his life to fully express and acknowledge the depth of his thoughts and emotions with the guidance of other males unafraid of deep diving into areas of expression long denied them by the 'over culture.' Thank you for 'Being Brave.'
It's not just men who condition each other to ignore feelings, it's society and women. No woman will ever want a crybaby. Past the virtue signalling feminist rhetoric no woman out there wants a man of no action, who sits down and bawls while showing himself vulnerable. Why young boys today are failing and killing themselves is because of the multitude of signals they're receiving. First they are treated as something broken, broken girls basically meant to be fixed. Then what society expects of them, they have to be sensitive, not afraid to cry while at the same time they should be responsible, courageous and strong. He should take space, but also give space to others. And to be honest I advise all men to never open up to a woman their own age. Women use that as a weapon against them come the bad times.
This was amazing! I was immediately hooked and I could not stop watching this series. These are conversations that are important for everyone to have, and I've learned how I can approach and think about life in a different way. I believe this series can be life changing. Thank you so much for being open and honest :)
This conversation would be so much more relevant if it included men who were not urban and sophisticated. Add a few First Responders, military career men, loggers, metal workers, policemen, and automotive mechanics to the mix. Add a petrosexual who feels threatened by electric cars. I suspect that many of the masculine taboos and anti-=feminism and homophobia are rooted in dangerous occupations, where talking and sharing feelings can be literally life-threatening. In action-oriented environments, say, defending your family from raiders, there is no time or need for anything but hard, effective action. I'm suggesting that there may be rational, real reasons for the attitudes that have come down to us. This is all fascinating and relevant, a great start to a new conversation.
This. Now this is something amazing. These conversations are URGENT. We need to continue to have these and ask questions. It would have been amazing to have a woman at the table too. Love you Justin. ❤️
Take five 🤗 This is great dialogue! I hope I can always inspire the men in my life to be who they are and be human! Vulnerability is humanistic. Just be you. 💙
I have a brother and we grew up quite close since we're like best friends. I remember that he was raised so differently than me. "A man doesn't cry, a man is strong, a man is a protector, be a man" and so on. I knew that also men have issues and problems they struggle with. Every human does. But after he opened up and that took way too long time, I felt so horrible, that I didn't recognize his needs. He needed to break free of this stigma, of this gender role, of this stereotypes. I got more male friends than female friends, because I associated men with more calmness and humour. I hate thinking in these stereotypes. I want my friends to open up, to express their feelings and to be vulnerable without being afraid of called "gay" or not man enough. To any man struggling with all these issues and individual problems: it's okay to feel weak, to feel sad and to be helpless. Don't risk your mental health by concealing all these problems and sorrows. Try to take a step and break free of this thought that you have to be strong and perfect in order to be a man. You're a man even when you feel lost. I hope you're doing well. Take care of yourself!
This is so great to see and watch. This has never been more needed than right now. I've been privileged enough to find my way to be able to talk this way as a man, but more men need to be encouraged and given the confidence to do the same. For our sake, and for the sake of women, and for the sake of all other people.
So refreshing to finally have open discussions about toxic masculinity and why we have subconsciously established such traits. Love the whole premise of this show and trying to change the narrative of what it means to be masculine ♥️✊🏼
Ofc you love seeing men spout anti-male rhetoric & being forced in a feminine model to perpetuate some garbage gender ideology... Feminists couldn't care less about the actual struggles & lives of men. These videos are a complete joke & waste of time. Go figure you'd enjoy this propaganda.
I love that youre doing a show like this! Me and my girl friends got together just like this to talk about being a woman and female energy, etc. It is so rewarding to meet in a group and talk like this 💖
I feel the same about therapy v being vulnerable with your closest friends. There are strangers that know more about me than my family and close friends. I also aim for more intimate relationships. Thanks for letting us see this.
This videos are amazing, as a 14 year old teen, this has really helped the way I perceive my personality, knowing that I am man enough and it's okay to show vulnerability, Thank You All
I'm so glad such conversations are taking place and that it's men taking the lead. Often times I feel as though with the whole women empowerment, men have been left behind with a self-perception is which is either outdated or lost which leaves us all frustrated. Love what you guys are doing.
I think the bigger question is why are we taught to defining women's energy as week and something less or bad in general. We need to question our views on women's energy... and masculine energy. As long as we exclude one or the other from our existent in any gender we have a lot to talk about.
Usually you see women talk about these social issues and feminism and to see men do the same.... For me to realize that we are being heard and that men can hopefully become more open and less effected by toxic masculinity is precious. Everyone is effected by stereotypes no matter the gender or culture. So thank you very much for joining the conversation and keeping it relevant.
Great to see a well done conversation series questioning the facade of masculinity. We live in an imperfect society with norms that expect perfect men. Social science can't explain away society's expectations of men where a stoic man is deemed strong yet men that show emotion are portrayed as weak.... Awesome job you Justin and team... Take a look at "The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes"... Great Book very relevant to this conversation... Here's my question: When do we stop letting our modern society be guided by ancient sociological expectations?
WOW this was a real eye opener, thank you so much for doing this important work!!!! Eyes wide open, I now understand men more and have seen how my part in not supporting them to be sensitive and vulnerable has in a way enabled them to become the men that they really are meant to be!!!! Free, confident and true to become who they really are without the masks.......
Really like Matts comment about being a real man or a good man and how men knowingly try to be real men for certain situations over being a good man. The traits of being a real man are more expected in society instead of encouraging men to be better and kinder.
Oh my God! This show is everything we need today! I just want to encourage the organizers of this show. Keep this conversation going!!!! And as Prince said in Ep. 2, It'll save lives! God bless Y'all!
This is excellent. I think when we are not in control and vulnerable as men is a good moment in time, we are working through things, as we don't always have to be masculine and in control how boring is that....
I've never understood why the man in my life always switch the subject or say "I need to get this call" when we have deep conversation. I thought maybe he just didn't want to know or care about what I was feeling. Looking forward to part 2.... Thank you
I'm a female & the whole time I'm watching this, I'm nodding my head thinking "YES!", "RIGHT?", "I KNOWWWW!" & I totally agree with everything & I think it's a really great show.
I wish there was more, this concept is just amazing I love it. Thank god i have open minded friends we watched the episodes together and had such an interesting and emo convo. Please bring it back 😭
Thank you for the videos Justin and Friends. I have been having struggles with my marriage because I refused to open up at times of vulnerability when my wife needs me most. I always felt that being vulnerable as a male, especially the provider, would make me come off as weak, so instead I would always put up a wall, and shut down in my wifes time of need. I'm actually putting up the same wall with my males friends, being I need someone to talk to, but am aftaid to open up being due to how it would affect my masculinity, or how "masculinity" is percieved in general. I am beginning to see that being open with my struggles, how I feel and what's in my heart is actually the best thing to do for any relationship in life. How it builds the deeper connection with your loved one because you can share if you are scared at the moment, or confused, or maybe even lost. I'm really going to take everything you fellas stated in this video, and also your Vulnerability video to heart and learn from it. Hell, I may even talk to my male friends and try to go deeper into the typical male stuff we talk about. Most importantly tho, I hope it isn't too late for me to save my marriage. If it can't be saved, tho I will feel very hurt, I also know that I caused it due to me NOT being emotionally vulnerable at the time of need.
This is the EXACT conversation i was hoping to hear; Very diverse and well thought out ideas and opinions. Super excited to see where this series goes. Bravo.
Man, I wish I heard these types of conversations when I was 10 instead of 26. This is immensely powerful.
This is cringe and fake as fuck.
@@thewatchtower8330 triggered much?
lol...aged like milk...so "powerful" 😂
Love how Bassam is taking eating as serious as the discussion ! He understands that food is life. 😁
mozhgan bakhtiyari So true! Seeing people not taking advantage of good food upsets me🤣
this needs to be shown in high school or even earlier.
i agree with earlier, i think by high school many guys are already socialized to believe showing any kind of vulnerability is wrong. i know i definitely felt that way when i was in hs
Yes - as an example of the blue pill conditioning all men should avoid.
@@jolp9799 No offence, But you are a woman. You couldn't guage that.
I am a high school English teacher and I am showing this next week to connect to the masculinity motif in Things Fall Apart. Should be an engaging discussion.
@@brandonh.912 She may not be a man, but she is right IMO. And more nuanced than "Wrong", that it doesn't benefit us to show vulnerability.
I've got this dream, of sitting down and having dinner with a few friends talking about important things without anyone getting distracted by instagram or tinder or technology in general. I'm so jealous of the previous generations for not having to deal with all that crap!
Or getting upset in their feelings or trying to push their opinion down others throat.
@5:15 I got chills. "We talk in a way to conceal, rather than reveal."
That is ABSOLUTELY true for American men.
@Biggus Dickus Isn't that the point? Did you watch the video? They go into this in some detail.
@Biggus Dickus Oh, so you didn't watch it. Wow!
@Biggus Dickus You just admitted to not watching it. And there is a five minute window in the video that addressed exactly what you were complaining about. Now you are arguing that your ignorance is knowledge. In the English dictionary, ignorance is exactly defined as a lack of knowledge. Watch the video. Articulate what you think is wrong with it. Then perhaps people might take you seriously.
@Biggus Dickus They absolutely did not talk about opening up to complete strangers. Almost all the men at the table are all friends. In fact there is one episode where the host talks to his friend about the sexual abuse he suffered when he was young. Even in this episode it shows the host talking to his father specifically about how he avoided uncomfortable conversations. To pretend this is something American men do not do is not being realistic. The thing that is weird, is I don't agree with every conclusion they reach. But I have to watch the video in order to know what I disagree with. So again, the specific point is why do men avoid these conversations with each other?
jacob gives me chills and milk
as a female this literally made me cry. it seems like the backlash against any feminist movement is so strong, on the internet or irl, and people who do openlysupport them are usually women themselves. seeing men talk about these issues in this way is so rare.
nolie blue its tragic too because the feminist movement will never eradicate male supremacy until we include men in the process of healing the divide between gender archetypes. infact, all the men that misogyny has inadvertently affected are effectively being mobilized by the archaic masculine paradigm into hating women. its the most damaged men who often lash out the hardest against woman kind.
Cthulhu Daddy i think the majority of feminists realize this, or are atleast finally realizing it, and unfortunately internet culture allows angry teenagers to mobilize and even hijack a movement. i mean, these young people are rightfully angry but the fact that the internet gives them power to influence developed movements and institutions without the same responsibility that say an irl feminist would have to usurp to enact change. certainly, that can be a great thing and it has worked in favor in many cases where imediate action is needed but you also have a bunch of vulnerable people impulsivly pushing change with great velocity and inevitably that impulse is going to manifest in the form of retaliation, its human nature. its why the latest brand of feminism taste eerily the same as the guys who were treating women badly a few decades ago. i mean, as a growing adult feminist i see less and less of the “kill all men” type feminists and, in a world where i never knew about the internet, i would even tell you ive never run into an feminist of that description. its a case of a silent majority, though. you have zealous activists who take up all this broadcasting space and most of us who really care about womens rights dont have to shout it at strangers over a laptop screen. the most effective ones are quietly living their ideals the best they can and making change where they can.
Blob Monster well i can see why people freak out about rape, i mean, who isnt angry that rape happens, they see it as safety at all costs. the issue is that, when you prioritize safety over skepticism and critical though (though an effective survival mechanism), all forms of reasonable doubt are sought out as “anti-woman” when infact doubt, when motivated by just intent, is just simply “anti-mob.” that being said, the statistic show us that most instances of rape allegations are only false lesser than 5-10% of the time and a comedian’s unsolicited exposed cock is just objectively unsettling.
Cthulhu Daddy Cthulhu Daddy i mean you got me on the Louis CK thing it was not something i looked into too deeply, which only proves a point that i know we both agree on. but otherwise your just making arbitrary disagreements. im sympathizing with your point. the point was precisely that you would have to be born yesterday to not be angry with rape and murder (“i mean, who isnt angry about rape?” is a rhetorical question, not literal), i agree with you on that, dude, thats why i said i understand why it freaks people out. i produced the statistic not to mute skepticism (because i literally contended FOR skepticism in the previous sentence) but to present the fact that the statistical reality of things is not the same as the large scandals you see surrounding the famous and wealthy. you have cases like the Louis CK thing where this guy in the public eye asks for permission and still gets penalized in the midst of a cultural phenomenon meanwhile the actual enviroment in which rape occurs is producing legitimate harm a majority of the time. celebrity sensationalism and news focus dont reflect reality and thats why sensational feminism is driving people to hate what started out as a decent idea: women just livin life, same as men.
Cthulhu Daddy Cthulhu Daddy everyone of your responses includedes a presumption that is kinda not what im getting at, my guy. man. when i use the word feminism im trying to refer to an idea of a fair game not the movement but if its too tainted by the idea of authoritatianism and puritanical enforcement then fuck that man, ill just usea different word.
im what you would classify as a liberal, in full disclosure but im not a follower of big L “Liberalism” or any other mob. i am just as disgusted by authoritarianism as you man. i think we should all just enjoy this shit we have here on earth man. this is not what this shit was originally about. back in the days it was about free love, good old freedom, and telling the man we cant be controlled. i think it still can be. man, i dont want to put a metaphorical chastity belt on anyone and force anything down anyone’s throat, id just like people to play nice if they can agree, you know. all the women in my life want that same fair shot and none of em want to do with any of that rampage and authority over men. i mean, maybe i just have decent friends but none of the people i actually maintain meaningful contact with are actually like the screetching cry babies you see on twitter. i mean, what if i were to judge you like that? im sure you would not want to be lumped in with all those katana weilding dudes who write reddit posts about how they want to rape a lady because she friendzoned him. im not a dummie and i know you probably arent either.
my main dealio with equality is if we want a society that treats people fairly, we gotta help heal the pain men experience with compassion and love not controll and shame. you and i can probably agree that men experience suicide, incarceration, homicidality, and general neuroticism at a higher rate than woman. thats clear evidence to me that theres something going on thats not quite equal and its hurting us, its hurting women, and fuckin up shit down the road.
im not governed by any movement just because i use the f word, i just want better for me, you, and everyone else. most of the reasonable women who say they believe in equality want that too. the face of feminism you see in the media is a case of confirmation bias. people, whether they agree or disagree, always love to see crazy people yelling, listen to stories that divide the room in two, and hear one liners that usually dont work out irl.
well, ive probably done enough typin.
people are smarter than you write em off. they might frequently become blinded but they learn lessons. if you can trust yourself to be smart enough to see through bs then why would you think most anyone else is different?
thanks for tossin the conversation around w me.
Loving the pride in his dad's face when they talking together, wholesome.
my goodness, this series should be a mainstream ritual for our society. I'm grateful to have found it when I did. The struggles are pretty much everything I've been battling in therapy for multiple years now and I feel I'm no closer than when I began. I can't wait to watch the other episodes and see where it leads me.
Is it weird that I relate to this as a female? I've struggled to open up as much as other women do and idk why. I've always held myself back from revealing emotion and have felt insecure that I'm not "feminine" enough. Kinda similar yet the opposite of what they're talking about. Great ideas put out here though, I was planning on going to sleep but couldn't help but watch the rest of this!
It’s not weird. I’m a women and I really felt the same as you. I’ve always felt like I’m not feminine enough (literally since I was a kid) and let’s not talk about me having emotional conversations cause that’s something I struggle with! If there’s anything I hate in this world, is the word Stereotype... they have always messed me up
Not at all, since these clowns try their best to put on an effeminate display.
I get it and this message needs to be heard by straight men AND males who call themselves Christian. That's not going to happen with a gay man in the group or a pagan god hanging out in the background. Just my thoughts.
Mikay Mouse OMG! I feel the same!!!! Especially when it comes to friendship, because I always feel that if I want to be friends with some guy, it means that I'm hitting on him and if I want to be friend with another girl (even when we have nothing in common), its okay! Just cause she's a girl too. Why do we have such a closed concept about feminine and masculine, right?
This is an excellent topic and interesting conversation, I've always wondered how men really feel and what they're thinking and talking about when together. I grew up without my mother in a predominantly masculine environment and Though in the presence of a stepmom, identified with the men in the family mostly because of shared origin or background. The men never allowed themselves to be vulnerable and father figure shamed his wife for doing it. So I sometimes (often) feel the same way as you. Don't you think it has to do with how the girls identify with their mom and the boys with their dad and to what extent parents or caretakers allow their children to communicate their feelings ? In my mind the lack of mother figure or healthy feminine role model is directly related to struggling to revealing emotions or authentically opening up to other women... I might be wrong, still learning
I've been waiting for this all year. You guys are amazing, we all should start teaching our kids to be better and start resisting the margins
I find this topic endlessly fascinating. I think that 'toxic masculinity' and 'fragile masculinity needs to be exposed for what it is. But you're telling me they couldn't find a more articulate and eloquent group of young men? These men can barely finish a thought, and what they do manage to say is shrouded by so many you-knows, likes, ummmms, ambiguous gesticulation and hesitancy that I get lost in what is the actual point they're trying to make. They also interrupt each other and go off on tangents in a way that the line of thought is lost. There should've been someone in charge of 'mediating' the conversation. What a shame.
Dan Übec I understand your point, however what you've described is exactly how authentic conversations usually are. What you describe wanting it to be would likely have been a more scripted discourse. I personally prefer the authentic version and think there's more value in hearing/sharing it. This is an excellent series!
I understand what you mean in that it feels like a genuine and candid exchange, that being said, I would've liked something more along the lines of the discussions in the Hollywood Reporter channel. I personally don't see the harm in making sure whoever is speaking is not interrupted or spoken over. They often lose their train of thought, and we're left wondering what they intended to say. It's also a matter of protocol and respect towards others, I personally try not to interrupt people if I engage in a discussion with them, precisely because I don't like it when it's done onto me.
Riveting conversation about the definition of masculinity!
THIS IS CRUCIAL! Especially now a days. I never had the awakening to this type of conversation in my youth, and thank the universe for my coming to terms with my vulnerability and femininity early enough. Men and boys need to hear these videos so they don't perpetuate these toxic rules that men put on each other.
This is actually a bullshit video.
This kind of bs stunted my growth as a man. Women do not respect men that ‘identify with the feminine’. Let me guess, you are friend zoned by girls with jerk boyfriends and once they hit their 30s they’ll come to you as the safe option
Love this conversation.
love jacob
I am absolutely obsessed. I have been having theses conversations with my partner and I always questions the interactions between him and his friends. I am so making him watch this and promoting this series to all men!
It's a very good point that is made around 23:20.
I think one way that we as men can avoid toxic masculinity and reframe our mindsets is by reminding ourselves "I don't always have the answer and that's perfectly okay". We need to become comfortable with considering and discussing things knowing full well that we most likely do not have the answers to them. And even trying not to find simple, immediate answers for everything because life is not always simple.
Yes exactly! I, a woman, have actually noticed myself when I have told a male friend about my issues, I’ve learned already to first start by saying that I amnot expecting an answer or solution from him but this is what’s up.
It feels sad for me to have to start that kind of a conversation in that way.
Also, when a man desperately tries to find a solution to a woman’s problem that she just wanted to open up about to him, it can easily feel like “mansplaining” to her. And that is a very frustrating feeling to have (for women)
this would also really help women who are survivors of sexual abuse. As a survivor I often struggled in relationships with men, not because they were abusive or lacked sensitivity or anything. But because no matter how great a guy is, he will almost always try to fix things. And there's just no fixing rape. It's so hurtful to have to look someone in the eyes and tell them: "sorry, but you can't use your _masculine_ tools on me. You can't be my protector. The damage is already done." I'm essentially breaking their masculinity in that moment and that's an additional burden I don't want.
Valhalla Understood and agreed (I am a woman). No matter the situation, a man very much attracted to women, strong or virile, will activate his défense mechanism on “his female”, if I may say. He will want to help to show her how “smart and strong” he is. And if you kind of reject his trials, if you hold him back from starting his process of defence and fixing your issues, you’ll be perceived as castrating and frustrating, much the same way as if you repulse him for some reason right in the middle of an intercourse. I have had the same problem with men. On the reverse, when you’re actually the one asking for help, suddenly men all disappear. They like initiating everything to show how smart they are. We say women are complicated and/or complex, and difficult to handle. I say men are also hard to handle at times and it can reveal to be hard work to make them understand that they should accept to help whenever needed and not every time their male hormones are in action.
I noted it is my opinion, but as a critique of yours, the advice generally is not always unwarranted, and there are multiple ways of viewing it. Trying to solve a problem is something that comes naturally to certain personality types, and they shouldn't be punished for doing something that comes naturally but encouraged to adapt and explore other ways besides their own without shitting on them. What is good manners is largely subjective, and depends on what part of the globe your on. in terms of your masculinity thing, I would encourage you to investigate for yourself how the male mind works and whether or not you want to use the label is irrespective of the fact that most problems we've been dealt have been solved by male minds (inventors) not tooting horns, I am pointing to a biological design. but again this is my opinion so if it resonates with you cool, if not cool...
@Julia Reynolds I agree with you on one hand, however on the other hand have you ever considered that empathy can be demonstrated in different ways? I don't think the conversation stops at listening as there are probably many different ways to demonstrate empathy, the focus on "listening" is myopic and ignores other explorations.
Omg i love this series so much !!!!
Abiyah Yisrael they found the biggest pussies available to do the show xd
@@davidfields2084 youre the biggest pussy Ik
omg i love jacob so much xD lmao rofl lol
This series needs to become popular and take over the RUclips sphere. More men and women need to watch and understand this! Thank you, Justin!
It's really interesting how as a trans man I experience the exact same things. I simultaneously feel validated in my manhood and also understand how much growing I still have to do as a man.
I struggle with listening to friends who are emotionally vulnerable with me. I want to solve, to fix, to give advice. Women and non-binary people tell me often I should just listen and show empathy, but it's really hard.
I have a a bit of an easier time opening up personally, but I tend to hide my pain or trauma through joking a lot, it's a coping mechanism. Asking for help though? Never. I always feel like I have to be strong enough on my own.
I guess all men have these issues in common, no matter how we were raised. We probably internalize these messages about masculinity through society, media and family, regardless if we are seen as men or not.
Thank you for sharing these conversations! I hope to take all the insights with me on my journey of becoming a better person for myself and the people around me ❤
This is an amazing series! As a woman I am learning a few things about men. Thank you
exactly
U learning about actors.....
Your instincts know what a real man is. This ain’t it
The look in Justin’s dad’s eyes when he’s saying he wants to know him on not just a “dad” level so he can better understand himself. SO PROUD. Gave me chills. As a woman, I am so thankful for these conversations between men.
It bothers me when people try to gender emotions. It’s so infuriating. I’m a woman and I’m allowed to be angry. Men are allowed to be vulnerable. I love this talk.
Love that you’ve started this series!!
About men not actually talking about difficult things, I’ve also noticed how men have opened up to me, a woman, in such a deep and vulnerable way, and then when we are together with other people I notice how that person, that I learned to know in private, just dissapeared and again put up that wall of ”being a man”. This has happened so many times to me with different male friends, and every time I feel so sad about it and just hope they will grow up some day to understand that they don’t have to play that ”manly” part to be accepted by others.
Excep they do. A big part of masculinity is strength, willpower, resilience etc. A man must be strong and resilient. Society was built by men, hard working, resilient, and strong men who put aside their fears and weaknesses and barreled through the gates of human progress. If we all sat down and talked about our feelings and cried, we would go extinct. Women don't have the high amount of testosterone, women do not have that high capacity for power and achievement. You would never understand.
sorry but for a male perspective... you dont get it at all
You may want to check out soul pancake I think their what's a man series. It's similar and it's really good, just like this!!
OMG same!
I think their is a way to be "open" without being "vulnerable" and men need to be allowed to be men and define themselves. The issues comes when it is attracting the opposite sex and women can sometimes use men's vulnerability against them. Men don't fear marriage they fear divorce. Men don't fear opening up they just fear opening up to the wrong.
I'm so happy to see this conversation. It is *SO NEEDED* right now. Thank you very much for the amazing content
Jesus if you go to the settings wheel in the lower right-hand corner of the video and click subtitles CC you should be able to put Spanish subtitles yourself.
SISTAHTEEK
I tried it but there aren't ;(
Just auto-generated English.
But thanks anyway! :)
jacob is SO NEEDED right now I need his milk
@@uggles_mcfuggles now why would I do that? I know RUclips comments can be a dumpster fire but this is a good video and that's how OP spelt his name!
@@uggles_mcfuggles 😂😂
I've never commented on a RUclips video before, glad this is my first one. This video was a recommendation from a professor of mine. I don't know if any or my classmates are going to see this (idc really) but I would've be happier if some teacher show me this during my school years. Being "masculine" is a struggle for a lot of people who identify themselves as men: is about how you look, what you wear and a lot of stereotypes I'm just happy to be rid off. If you ever feel not masculine enough, broke the margins and embrace who you are.
I love how they wove in conversations with a Gender Studies professor with guys talking about their lived experiences. It made for a truly well-rounded broader conversation.
Also, Matt McGorry and Javier Munoz are phenomenally insightful and well-read.
Ironically, that confirmed this video to be pure propaganda bullshit. That "professor" is a known liar, a complete radical who cares only to further his anti-West, anti-male, anti-White narrative in hopes of achieving his radical communist utopia. Seriously, just read this guy's work, he's completely insane & genuinely doesn't give a rat's fuck about men or their issues. Not to mention, everything he said here was false & is NOT backed up by the science. This video is complete & utter trash & should never be taken seriously. It's an exercise in ideology, not humanity.
Wow, as a female I have learnt so much, just by listening. I had no idea what guys went and do go through daily in their Lives. Thank you guys for sharing part of your, intimate, vulnerable self.
LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! As the mother of 3 boys, aunt to 3 nephews, sister to 1 brother and daughter to 1 man who has struggled with his vulnerability, THANK YOU! MORE PLEASE!
When Dr. Kimmel started talking about “being a real man in America” it reminded me of something I witnessed (and now I really wish I spoke up about it). I worked at a mall that had an ice rink that held many hockey tournaments through out the year. This one was a pee wee tournament. It was down to the last couple games and obviously the fourth place is probably one of the hardest spots to get, good enough but still not quite. I remember seeing this little boy who couldn’t be much more than 7 or 8 trying to hold back tears... his team was in 4th place. His dad didn’t realize what his son was doing until the little boy wiped away a tear. This “dad” dragged his son to the side and was yelling at his son to “stop crying” and “be a man” and he eventually shoved his son into the wall because his yelling just made his son cry even more. My heart broke and I was in shock. This was almost 15 years ago. I cannot imagine how this little boy turned out. To be physically shown that a man is never to show soft emotions at such a young age just further engrains the don’t emote and don’t talk “dark and mysterious “ aspect of being a man. Honestly, show me a relationship that has is smooth running and still has one person in the couple who doesn’t talk to their s/o or opens up because it’s “not manly to show emotions”.
I had no idea that's the level that men suffer at! I learned so much today. This is a brilliant series 🙏🙏🙏
Side Note- Everything about Justin Baldoni just screams proper husband material. Cool, calm and collected. I am really enjoying the episodes, keep them coming :)
THANK YOU! I am raising a 13 year old son by myself. I look almost fruitlessly everywhere for wholesome inspiration in the media for him. Can you do a series something like this, but for younger men and teens? I will have him watch this one too. P.S. I also think 'masculinity' and 'femininity' are not real things except that we've made them so. Be YOU. If you identify as a man, then WHATEVER you do is what a man would do. Period.
Get him some male friends. I predict he will turn gay.
Your ideas will ruin your son
ignore these people, I agree, dont let other people tell you how to raise your kid, all the best, I hope he is doing well
Don’t listen to these ignorant people, using gay as an insult. Disgusting homophobia…
Your son has an open minded and understanding mother. That’s wonderful!
When you will be 60 years old.....nobody will go to you with a list or contract or document written down whether you were properly and accurately masculine enough for 60 years.....
life is not some to do list
only thing that seems real to you is what is in your head and in your heart.
other things are just delusions of the outside world.
In tears.im so happy this is happening.
I come back to these videos from time to time because this is so important and beautiful. I share this set of videos to my friends, no matter the gender, ALL THE TIME.
Loved your TED talk. But loving this even better. The conversations we have as women and what we want for our men, but struggle to get through to them. Thank you guys.
His father is fantastic, being in touch with your feelings and expressing yourself in healthy and fulfilling ways is what being a human being is all about, and thus what it is to be a man.
This is incredibly interesting. I was struck to hear, as a woman, how these men struggle to define "masculinity" and how it can hurt and limit them in the same way that women can be considered inferior just by being called "feminine". It's so obvious now to see two groups divided only by sexual organs suffer from the same widespread societal expectations. I think we'd all be wise to call an emotion an emotion, a reaction a reaction, a feeling a feeling, an action an action, an attribute an attribute, and stop assigning such thing to any gender category.
Many human languages have developed over time to define even inanimate objects like chairs and pencils as feminine or masculine; this must greatly impact the way that culture defines itself and its expectations. I'd love to hear more conversation about how language shapes people's ideas of things and of themselves.
Thanks for sharing such an open conversation!
And that's the reason a lot of men reject the one-sided conversation.
I can't believe this has been here for two years already and I have not seen this yet!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely fantastic movement going on here!! I'm a huge supporter of this kind of content!! Great, great, great job!!!!
As a girl coming from an Indian household I related to every bit about feminine qualities being looked down upon. Although my father is a very progressive man who has very liberal views on gender and never behaved as the alpha male at home, my relatives did not raise their boys to be authentic and to be at ease with expressing their feelings and love(romantic, platonic and familial) for others. I wish they watch this and learn something positive. Great job Justin. You finally gave me hope that men can actually change if given a safe space. Got great load of respect for you!!
Conversations like these are vital to all men, period.
I am really passionate about this work in the world and feel blessed that I am in a place where I am supporting Men to be in their full power. Keep up the good work.
Raising two boys, this made me cry! We need more of this please! ❤️🙏🏻
This show needs to continue!!!
Please continue this series. The world needs it badly.
Also, I know you probably don't read these, but if you could talk about the juxtaposition between men wanting to express their emotions and wanting to do these kinds of things, but having women who majoratively don't want a man who does these things, and wanting to be with those women for one reason or another.
When my son is older, I will be showing these videos to him. It's good for kids to see this and hear this from men that are looked up to.
Love. LOVE. Please continue this series. It's helping me so much become a better wife to my husband, mother to my son and daughter, sister to my 2 brothers, and daughter to my father.
This just rent my heart in two. Not as a woman, but as a single mother who knows that her son needs just this kind of connection to other men in his life to fully express and acknowledge the depth of his thoughts and emotions with the guidance of other males unafraid of deep diving into areas of expression long denied them by the 'over culture.' Thank you for 'Being Brave.'
It's not just men who condition each other to ignore feelings, it's society and women. No woman will ever want a crybaby. Past the virtue signalling feminist rhetoric no woman out there wants a man of no action, who sits down and bawls while showing himself vulnerable. Why young boys today are failing and killing themselves is because of the multitude of signals they're receiving. First they are treated as something broken, broken girls basically meant to be fixed. Then what society expects of them, they have to be sensitive, not afraid to cry while at the same time they should be responsible, courageous and strong. He should take space, but also give space to others.
And to be honest I advise all men to never open up to a woman their own age. Women use that as a weapon against them come the bad times.
This was amazing! I was immediately hooked and I could not stop watching this series. These are conversations that are important for everyone to have, and I've learned how I can approach and think about life in a different way. I believe this series can be life changing. Thank you so much for being open and honest :)
This conversation would be so much more relevant if it included men who were not urban and sophisticated. Add a few First Responders, military career men, loggers, metal workers, policemen, and automotive mechanics to the mix. Add a petrosexual who feels threatened by electric cars. I suspect that many of the masculine taboos and anti-=feminism and homophobia are rooted in dangerous occupations, where talking and sharing feelings can be literally life-threatening. In action-oriented environments, say, defending your family from raiders, there is no time or need for anything but hard, effective action. I'm suggesting that there may be rational, real reasons for the attitudes that have come down to us. This is all fascinating and relevant, a great start to a new conversation.
This is absolutely incredible, thank you creating it and making it so special
Holy god, this is exactly the type of conversation that men should feel open to have with each other. I love this. Yes!
This.
Now this is something amazing.
These conversations are URGENT.
We need to continue to have these and ask questions. It would have been amazing to have a woman at the table too.
Love you Justin. ❤️
Take five 🤗
This is great dialogue! I hope I can always inspire the men in my life to be who they are and be human! Vulnerability is humanistic. Just be you. 💙
I have a brother and we grew up quite close since we're like best friends. I remember that he was raised so differently than me. "A man doesn't cry, a man is strong, a man is a protector, be a man" and so on. I knew that also men have issues and problems they struggle with. Every human does. But after he opened up and that took way too long time, I felt so horrible, that I didn't recognize his needs. He needed to break free of this stigma, of this gender role, of this stereotypes. I got more male friends than female friends, because I associated men with more calmness and humour. I hate thinking in these stereotypes. I want my friends to open up, to express their feelings and to be vulnerable without being afraid of called "gay" or not man enough.
To any man struggling with all these issues and individual problems: it's okay to feel weak, to feel sad and to be helpless. Don't risk your mental health by concealing all these problems and sorrows. Try to take a step and break free of this thought that you have to be strong and perfect in order to be a man. You're a man even when you feel lost.
I hope you're doing well. Take care of yourself!
Thank you for this.
America is going to the shitter loool
My heart is starting to get sore, this speaks in so many languages, we are too proud
This is so great to see and watch. This has never been more needed than right now. I've been privileged enough to find my way to be able to talk this way as a man, but more men need to be encouraged and given the confidence to do the same. For our sake, and for the sake of women, and for the sake of all other people.
These discussions are needed.
So refreshing to finally have open discussions about toxic masculinity and why we have subconsciously established such traits. Love the whole premise of this show and trying to change the narrative of what it means to be masculine ♥️✊🏼
Amazing idea, this series. Love prince Aa in there, he's so quiet yet when he says something, it's really well thought over. Love from Holland
Really excited about these conversations, keep going, please.
Just so you know, these guys are terribly misguided and don't know what they're talking about.
As a Feminist I love this. It fills my heart with joy to see Men talk, be real, be human.
I love this I hope more Men will get inspired.
I love this I hope more Men will get inspired.
Feminists are soooo naive tbh...
they're actors btw :D
Ofc you love seeing men spout anti-male rhetoric & being forced in a feminine model to perpetuate some garbage gender ideology... Feminists couldn't care less about the actual struggles & lives of men. These videos are a complete joke & waste of time. Go figure you'd enjoy this propaganda.
I love that youre doing a show like this! Me and my girl friends got together just like this to talk about being a woman and female energy, etc. It is so rewarding to meet in a group and talk like this 💖
This series gives me so much hope
Thank you for this series... seeing people have REAL conversations... it gives me hope for this world
I feel the same about therapy v being vulnerable with your closest friends. There are strangers that know more about me than my family and close friends. I also aim for more intimate relationships. Thanks for letting us see this.
this is so so so important
This is brilliant! Well done Justin! Thanks for raising consciousness and awareness. We all need to reflect, refine and redefine!
I love this so much and how everyone is just having a free conversation in front of the camera not giving a fuck about who is watching/judging.
This is SO NEEDED in today's world!
I absolutely love this whole smörgåsbord table vibe going on with amazing food and amazing (mentally stimulating) conversations. I WANT MORE.
This videos are amazing, as a 14 year old teen, this has really helped the way I perceive my personality, knowing that I am man enough and it's okay to show vulnerability, Thank You All
More power to you.. 😻😍💛🧡🧡💛🧡💛🧡💜💖
I love this! You’re the reason why we need these conversations.
I'm so glad such conversations are taking place and that it's men taking the lead. Often times I feel as though with the whole women empowerment, men have been left behind with a self-perception is which is either outdated or lost which leaves us all frustrated. Love what you guys are doing.
I think the bigger question is why are we taught to defining women's energy as week and something less or bad in general. We need to question our views on women's energy... and masculine energy. As long as we exclude one or the other from our existent in any gender we have a lot to talk about.
Usually you see women talk about these social issues and feminism and to see men do the same.... For me to realize that we are being heard and that men can hopefully become more open and less effected by toxic masculinity is precious. Everyone is effected by stereotypes no matter the gender or culture. So thank you very much for joining the conversation and keeping it relevant.
Thank you for this, I try to let me and the people around be be vulnerable, sometimes is hard here in Mexico, but I think is really important
YES WE NEED MORE PLATFORMS like this for men to open up, connect and just have a safe space to talk
this is soooo important to talk about!! so glad they talked about it!!!
Great to see a well done conversation series questioning the facade of masculinity. We live in an imperfect society with norms that expect perfect men. Social science can't explain away society's expectations of men where a stoic man is deemed strong yet men that show emotion are portrayed as weak.... Awesome job you Justin and team... Take a look at "The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes"... Great Book very relevant to this conversation...
Here's my question: When do we stop letting our modern society be guided by ancient sociological expectations?
this is incredible. so grateful for your role in producing such a beautiful series.
This is lovely. Thank you for doing this series.
So great...made me cry because of the honesty of it....and the fact that this conversation can finally happen
WOW this was a real eye opener, thank you so much for doing this important work!!!! Eyes wide open, I now understand men more and have seen how my part in not supporting them to be sensitive and vulnerable has in a way enabled them to become the men that they really are meant to be!!!! Free, confident and true to become who they really are without the masks.......
I love every bit of these series! So therapeutic, raw, and powerful. I am learning from them, and I want more.
When Bobby Brown opened up that Whitney cheated on him with 2Pac people praised 2Pac and called Bobby weak, and you wonder why men don't open up.
I am so glad that Justin Baldoni was able to do this since I saw him do a Ted Talk expressing frustration and questioning masculinity.
This is the BEST thing ever. I am overjoyed that this series has been made - thank you so much!!! xx
I am so happy with these episodes, these guys have created something truly beautiful! these discussions are needed
I have a little boy and it's great watching this and getting all these new perspectives so that I can better raise him!
The elephant in the room that's touched a little here but not enough is that: "If we don't overcome this, we're going to hurt others or ourselves."
Really like Matts comment about being a real man or a good man and how men knowingly try to be real men for certain situations over being a good man. The traits of being a real man are more expected in society instead of encouraging men to be better and kinder.
Oh my God! This show is everything we need today! I just want to encourage the organizers of this show. Keep this conversation going!!!! And as Prince said in Ep. 2, It'll save lives! God bless Y'all!
this is amazing! Next Episode should include The Rock, Jesse Williams and Will Smith.
Also Terry Crews!
This is excellent. I think when we are not in control and vulnerable as men is a good moment in time, we are working through things, as we don't always have to be masculine and in control how boring is that....
This is a very important conversation to have. Thank you so much this.
This woman is so fascinated and encouraged by this! Thank you for doing this!
I've never understood why the man in my life always switch the subject or say "I need to get this call" when we have deep conversation. I thought maybe he just didn't want to know or care about what I was feeling. Looking forward to part 2.... Thank you
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS!!!!!! Thank you Justin for starting such important talks!!!!
I'm a female & the whole time I'm watching this, I'm nodding my head thinking "YES!", "RIGHT?", "I KNOWWWW!" & I totally agree with everything & I think it's a really great show.
of course theyre talking about "issue" that women wanna hear it , they're really good in pandering....
I wish there was more, this concept is just amazing I love it.
Thank god i have open minded friends we watched the episodes together and had such an interesting and emo convo.
Please bring it back 😭
Thank you for the videos Justin and Friends. I have been having struggles with my marriage because I refused to open up at times of vulnerability when my wife needs me most. I always felt that being vulnerable as a male, especially the provider, would make me come off as weak, so instead I would always put up a wall, and shut down in my wifes time of need. I'm actually putting up the same wall with my males friends, being I need someone to talk to, but am aftaid to open up being due to how it would affect my masculinity, or how "masculinity" is percieved in general.
I am beginning to see that being open with my struggles, how I feel and what's in my heart is actually the best thing to do for any relationship in life. How it builds the deeper connection with your loved one because you can share if you are scared at the moment, or confused, or maybe even lost. I'm really going to take everything you fellas stated in this video, and also your Vulnerability video to heart and learn from it. Hell, I may even talk to my male friends and try to go deeper into the typical male stuff we talk about. Most importantly tho, I hope it isn't too late for me to save my marriage. If it can't be saved, tho I will feel very hurt, I also know that I caused it due to me NOT being emotionally vulnerable at the time of need.
This is the EXACT conversation i was hoping to hear; Very diverse and well thought out ideas and opinions. Super excited to see where this series goes. Bravo.
Thank you and your amazing team for making this show possible