When I listen to her voice I hear a little girl who is very scared and doesn't feel safe anywhere. So sad she has been through hell and back and I truly understand because I've dealt with the same shit all my life. I'm 62 now and I still can't believe that I made it this far. Hang on Tamara you are a fighter and don't ever give up!!
When ppl ask why Mark interviews the ppl on Soft White Underbelly- Tamara's response at the end of the interview says it all. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME.
My dad was on heroin when he was young, and got his masters when he was almost 50, and my grandmother got her bachelors from Lehman college when she was in her 80s, both immigrants from Central America. You are obviously capable and intelligent, I assure you it's not anywhere near too late for you to get off the streets, get your masters and give yourself the space to heal. Wishing you the best.
So sad to hear the story of her upbringing. Most of these people that come on to SWU are probably sharing their story for first time that’s been buried deep inside of them. Hope she makes it in life. Thanks for sharing
"I had a good childhood" ..... followed immediately by "I was sextually abused" ..... I don't know why or how but something tells me this woman has the something to make it, to be alright. With these words, sending love and prayers to this tender soul.
When she said “it feels like it’s always going to be hard for me” 🥺 just heartbreaking. I love you Tamara. You are a force . Still so gentle even though they wanted to destroy you. I admire you
This is utterly heartbreaking. She is so obviously in so much emotional pain that she can’t see a way through it. It’s so hard when someone in her shoes doesn’t have a way out. Most programs are exorbitantly expensive and out of reach for most. Not to much if she were lucky enough to get Medicaid, a lot of the programs don’t accept it as payment. The ones that do I wouldn’t send a dog too. This world is so incredibly screwed up. No compassion or humanity for most of these people. It’s disgusting how we treat the mentally ill, the ones on drugs because of the tremendous trauma they carry around daily. I pray to God she gets help before she becomes another horrible statistic.
To be totally honest honest, one time when I was young a man gave me a piece of cake and to this day I still hate any kind of cake. I really think he might have put something in it but I was only two so it was my parents responsibility. However I can relate to this sweet lady and her story as we have a lot in common and I don’t judge anyone even prisoners. In this world there are bad people and worse and who knows the difference 😢
Idk about the treatment in CA, but people get Medicaid in Philadelphia easy, although an ID, a mailing address two weeks are usually needed. There are addresses for homeless people in churches are available. The treatment can be half decent, some is terrible, but some that accepts commercial insurance is almost as bad once you get past the surface. Intensive outpatient with methadone maintenance saves lives.
I close friend of mine was molested for years by her brother. Though she’s highly educated and has a successful career, she still struggles emotionally. This woman is not beyond hope, and I’ll pray she gets clean. She deserves a blessed life.💚
I recall listening/watching loveline back in the days. Dr Drew would mention how a lot of victims of child sexual abuse still spoke in a pitch of the age it occurred.
A gentle, kind and caring soul. It’s never too late Tamara. Don’t let the people who hurt you win. You are so much stronger and braver than they could ever be. Be courageous! God carry this woman and give her the strength.
The amount of pain out there feels like too much to bear sometimes, and it so often comes to be self-propagating. It's brutal but informative what SWU is doing, shining a light on such individual stories of suffering, grief and regret. My main hope is that treatment programs come to be made available in the coming years where psychedelic-assisted / MDMA therapies are provided to heal some of the deep, deep traumas that exist out there and which continue to grind away at the people carrying them and also the ones they love/who love them. In so many ways, addictive painkillers are the worst kind of habit to get started on, though entirely understandable in the initial intentions to escape the pain. Organisations like MAPS are truly doing god's work in advancing the status quo in psychedelic-assisted therapies. Healing is so desperately needed by so very many.
Great comment. I wanted to mention, incase you arent aware, that MAPS is also an acronym for minor attracted persons (pedos) and in the context of your comment it took me a sec to figure out what you were talking about lol. So does it also stand for mind altering psychedelics or something?
@@zanyaespeaks that's typically referred to as MAT, medically assisted treatment (I work in therecovery field) ❤️ but maybe they're not from the US and that's what they meant?
To add, not disagree, it's deeper than just drugs and mental health treatment. We can't plan on a future where we 'cure everyone' to solve these problems. Society needs to fundamentally change to being a culture that takes care of all of its people, not just the 1%. Not because it's economically good, but because it's morally good and what the fk is the point in being the most wealthy and productive group of people on the planet if you can't use that money to do good? We have so much excess unbalanced wealth stuffed away in the hands of so few that it has created so many incentives to breed and grow a culture of scumbgs, an entire underworld of criminals who thrive by finding little ways to steal a little more money here and there, while honest people scrape by with less and less, questioning how much morals are reslly worth.
Tamara, I hope you read this (when you get a phone), there is a block feature for the undesirables! Mark will set you up, he's a great man. As far as your master's degree, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE sister! You get yourself straightened out and GO get yours, YOU DESERVE IT! If not for your mom, do it for your babies! You bat an eye and they're grown and there is no do over! I am sending you strength and prayers doll! 💙✌️🤗 U GOT THIS, you ARE strong and beautiful, we all get setbacks, learn from it and move on! 💪🫶✊️
The thing about some relentless undesirables is they use many different numbers to try to bother you if they know you don't want to be contacted. I don't blame her. She has a long way to go before she's ready for any of that you mentioned.
The “system” is beyond repair when a child would rather remain in an abusive home than be taken away to a place far worse; that is thinly veiled as “safe”.
I have a family member that is in California for a program. Calling it a program is generous. From what I have been told they are just out running around and doing what they want. It's beyond sad that this is happening to people who want help.
Being adopted isn’t always rosey. Fellow adoptee, and I’m praying for you Tamara to overcome fear of remembering, fear of being sick, fear of disappointment from others. I’m praying that the fear will be replaced with confidence. Believe in your own abilities the way you know your name. Amen 🙏🏾
I'm praying for Tamara! I hope she finds peace. I believe she needs a dual diagnosis treatment program. Until she faces the abuse she went through she will never get clean. I hope she goes back home and gets treatment! Staying in California living on the streets is just going to make it worse. You can do this Tamara!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
As soon as they say, they had a good childhood. I just wait for it. Because I know I'm getting ready to hear something heartbreaking. I hope she finds peace on her journey. All women and children need protection💝
Ummm….so do males. They’re people too and they’re abused as well. My late husband was raped in the coat room of his catholic school by his teacher when he was in 8th grade-in 1948.
You can be a fighter and have pain inside of you. You can be a hero and live with trauma. You can be brave and still need a break. I admire your strength. People aren’t able to understand something they’ve never experienced and as an addict, you don’t know until you know. I wish you the best ✨
I really had a deep sense that she has such a good heart, is very smart and still holds onto a fragment of who she knows deep within, of who she really is at her core. Tamara, I hope you see all the love ❤️ sent your way by everyone who watches...so many are rooting for you. Don't give up. Nothing that happened to you was your fault. You have a lot to offer this world. Sending you hugs and love ❤️
💔💔💔 People don't realize how their sick actions can ruin a person's whole life. Childhood trauma is a bi+ch! She's still hurting. God have mercy on her soul.
I had to click off when I heard her say, "Hartford Connecticut". I can't even fully describe what I heard in her voice but it broke my heart. I will try to watch more later. I feel so bad that some people have to live through this trauma that I and others are mercifully spared. We need to do better protecting children. I don't know how...but we need to try. Thank you Mark.
Oh my heart aches for you, for your babies, for all of it, Tamara. I hope you find the strength to just keep fighting. You're important. And I promise you, if you work hard enough and get yourself into full recovery, your kids might just give you a chance to be in their lives, too. You have to do it alone, before other will join you, unfortunately.
I look at her face and I can easily see her as a child. Even her voice seems out of place, like her growth has just stopped at her childhood. Her trauma might as well happened this morning. Please, get help for this soul crushing trauma. Everything else will fall into place. You are a beautiful soul.
This is one of those that i just has to turn off. She has been hurt so badly. And to be hurt and abused and used starting at such a young age...the heart literally breaks. And whenever someone answers "fentanyl and crack," that combo, to "whats your drug today?" ...i know theyre in a bad way. It doesnt get more severe than that combo. Self medication is what it is. I love u and thank u for sharing. May u find warmth, safety, and healing.
listening to this interview has hurt my heart for sure. you can hear the hurt in her voice and just feel her pain to the core. I will pray VERY HARD for you tamara. I hope you can get sober soon and live the life you DESERVE. you are such a beautiful person.
Tamara's life story was gut wrenching to hear. I hope she was able to get clean and get her life back. How does anyone stand a chance after being abused and handed drugs as a child? Tamara not sure if you'd ever see this, but I believe you can rise up above all of this. You went through severe trauma, but you are facing things head on now. You deserve happiness and joy. I hope you get there.
Recovered-memory therapy (RMT) was popular in the 1990s. I was in therapy at the time & the therapist was 100% positive I had been SA'd as a young child. I left therapy & never went back. I don't want to remember. I believe my subconscious is protecting me by blocking these suppressed memories. And though the memories come occasionally, I do everything in my power to block them. I'm petrified to fully unearth them because they would destroy me/my family. IMO, instead of helping patients remember, therapists should focus on helping patients forget.
We can not forget because our brain works. We can heal and forgive from the inside outward. That is a place that can find peace after such trauma. Good luck.
You may forget, but the subconscious does not. Self-sabotaging behaviors are born from repressed trauma. There is a way to "put away" traumatic memories, but even that is still a process.
I hear you. I feel similarly. Please know that EMDR helped me FAR more than traditional talk therapy. I don’t need to know all the specifics. My body held the trauma until I was able to release it. It IS possible to develop inner Peace. 🙌🏼💜
There’s such a connection between childhood abuse and really bad addiction later on in life. My heart really goes out to her. I’m also starting to get worried about Rebecca when she goes MIA? I wish Mark would give us just some sort of update Because I do feel Rebecca has gotten worse and is very thin now..
I think the therapy she was having is called EMDR. It can be very helpful for people but it has to be done very carefully so as not to overwhelm the person. They don't have to remember everything that happened either if they don't want to.
Wow , I know how it is to live on the streets/ sidewalks and I just see people who would take advantage of this beautiful little lady. I am going through some crazy things myself but my heart goes out to her.
@@ritamccomas9271 that takes a lot more time, work, and stability than you think. Plus, you don't know what her brain chemistry will require even after that!
@@keeping_youaccountable1 was the pitch for me, black people even women have deeper voices. Based on her appearance and voice I would guess she is half African American and half Persian.
Tamara thanks for sharing and speaking your truth, even though it was very painful. Your story brought tears to my eyes. So sorry you went through such trauma in your childhood. Your story is helping others to find their voice. Your strong and amazing. We came through it. Like you I found my voice many years ago. You will come through, come off the drugs. I found faith which helped me to get through the trauma. Your children love and need you . I am rooting for you Tamara, I know you can do it. I pray blessings, healing, love and light over your life ❤💜
Tamara, I pray that you continue to work on your addiction,healing from the past trauma and protecting yourself by speaking out and up for you. Speak all the positive you can out loud and believe it.
The amount of guilt, of self blame that survivors hold for themselves is so heartbreaking. I'd suggest some reparenting when she's stable and out of survival mode. Getting clean has to happen first though, I believe.
You can do this, and you have degrees to use. You're fortunate in that way. You need to find the right program. I wish only the best for you. You are worth it!💙🌎
When you go for treatment. You will get thrown out if you bring drugs into the facility. You are a beautiful woman inside and outside. Search so far down that you have to come back up 🙏🏼
Childhood trauma can destroy your life,definitely have to heal those wounds and stop looking in the past,I understand her story bc of a similar background and addiction and depressions,I can honestly say I’m in the final stages of healing,letting go,forgiveness,talking about it and self love was some tools used to get me here,she can do it if she wants it bad enough
I truly believe you. People can't understand that the pain coming from trauma is unbearable, it is not an excuse . Please, be strong. I wish you all the best.
Tamara is a beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent woman!!! ❤Tamara you can do it and you are worth it!!! Sometimes you see people on this channel and it seems hopeless. Tamara does not look like she has passed the point of no return. I hope she gets into a new treatment center soon. She has so much potential ❤
God bless you Tamara. I hope and pray the pain and humiliation will go away and she will find salvation. She has two college degrees she has high value education.
it sad that she went to California for the “best” treatment and ended up on the streets, definitely doesn’t sound like the best treatment to me. this woman deserves so much better, I hope she can work through this unimaginable pain and recover
❤God Bless you honey!!! ❤ If you have someone at home that cares about you, try to arrang to go home to them, so you have help. Its gonna be a long cold winter on the streets. I pray for your strength to fight these demons!!! You have been through more than anybody should have to suffer through!! Much Love and many Prayers for you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I hope that she forgives herself, and then begins to heal. The abuse and trauma was not her fault. But her and her daughters futures depend on what she can do now. ❤
This man that destroyed so much in you should contribute to your recovery.May your family support you. Most importantly.MAY YOU find the courage to stick a recovery program .May God bless your daughters.
Sounds like she was describing EMDR used in therapy. What sucks is it usually does help but the therapist is FIRST supposed to teach you coping skills before they even continue on. I hear a few stories where the client isn't quite ready yet but they continue on. I wonder if being that this was likely a free service to her that they try to rush it or something. It can really help if done right so I'm really sorry to hear that happened to her at NO fault of her own. I have had brain spotting (BSP) used in therapy that really helped. I've heard others say they used it here. It brought up crap I thought I was over but just actually buried. It was a freaky but totally healing experience. I strongly recommend anyone who has trauma that still seems to hold them back consider doing BSP or EMDR. However you need to find the right therapist AND be able to afford it which I understand isn't always possible. If you find a therapist you trust and decide to do it the experience can be extremely healing. BSP takes less time to do than EMDR but it's said that EMDR can be done at a slower pace if you need that. I'm not a therapist just a huge supporter of trauma therapy with the right therapist. I hope this lady can get into more therapy. I definitely can see that her past is the main issue.
It seems so odd that addicts find so many excuses, she says that she continues to use because of her sexual abuse, but, she can perform sexual acts in order to support her addiction. She says therapy made her worse, she can’t handle withdrawal, these excuses just don’t make sense.
Being on the streets with no money and being an addict makes people do things they detest, things they would never do otherwise. She said she didn't want to do sexual acts for money, but unless you were an addict you would never understand. The sickness from withdrawal makes addicts do what they have to do to keep from being dope sick, it will literally keep some addicts using. It's like the flu x 10. As much of an excuse as that sounds, I've heard many addicts say this. As far as therapy, she needs to find the right therapist. Finding one you feel comfortable with talking about past trauma such as sexual abuse. I was in therapy but for different reasons, it took me 5 therapists to find the right one. It makes a difference, it sure does
Trauma leads to deep seated toxic shame. Self-sabotaging, even re-traumatizing behaviors/situations are born from that unhealed toxic shame. It doesn't have to make sense to you, or anyone else. The brain tries to save itself, and then long after trauma, sometimes the behavioral coping mechanisms are illogical. She is still in survival mode in major homelessness, don't forget! You may judge her, but you obviously never had to face anything so dark.
@@StephieGsrEvolution It is wonderful that you have an understanding of her predicament. . I don’t ever want to judge, I watch the videos to learn. I’m always hoping for good outcomes.
@@kellyburnett1833 I understand. Thanks for explaining further. I see so many people making the same types of statements online and they are judgy, so I'm sorry if my assumption was wrong. I'm glad you honestly said what many people think when they see addicts and it doesn't make sense. It is so contradictory! Add on top of everything else, the substances they're abusing are keeping them further away from logic and reality. That's why I'm grateful for this channel and that Mark still leaves most comment sections open. only understand so much myself still. I don't know what struggling with substance abuse is like. I've had other self-sabotaging behaviors to work through and that was difficult enough. I only know what little I know because of growing up with family members addicted. Many, including my brother died 4yrs ago. I studied this in college, went to 12step Nar Anon/Al Anon, became a social worker, I'm still learning. Even the experts far more knowledgeable than me are still learning. One thing I know for sure is if it were simple for them to quit and get it together, they would simply do it. So much is going on.
she has severe generalized anxiety. She should look into non addictive medication for anxiety, it could help a lot with managing the stress of getting clean and staying clean.
Tamara, you deserve so much more than this life offered you ❤ I believe in your healing and in your recovery. Although everything has been hard and you don’t see a way out, your spirit shines so beautifully. You’re never too old to get your masters degree, you’re never too old to heal and to become that person that it sounds like you’ve always dreamed of being. The true you under that pain. You didn’t deserve it, you deserve to take your life back and know that there’s another side to the pain you’ve felt ❤
Tamara, I’m glad you’re speaking up and standing up for yourself now. I can’t imagine how tough your situation must be, but I hope and pray you are able to get clean, work through your trauma, reconnect with your children, and have the fulfilling life you deserve. You are worth it. God bless you.♥️
She seems like a sweet lady and a kind soul. I wish people didn't have kids if they choose this lifestyle. It is their right to give up instead of fighting and throw their life away, but they have no right to continue this cycle. There are so many success stories where people overcome the biggest trauma and addiction etc. However if you choose 'not being sick' over raising your children, you don't have my sympathy, sorry. You will end up on the next 'In memory of' video and that's the end of it. Get your shit together, lady, grow the f up and prove us wrong.
Tamara im 46 i used my whole life i started my getting clean journey at 40 my daughter was 16 our relationship was horrible she hated me and for good reason!!!! But NOW my daughter is 22 we are so close she is my best friend we live together and i help raise my grandbabies so she can follow her career dream!!!! Its not to late start today!!! Also your 4 year old there is still hope!!! Get in. Program even if its MAT for now its still better than what you are doing now!!! Im praying you will see its not to late On another note i went through sexual abuse as a child as well and my mother abandoned me at 3 years old so i know its hard to step away from the drugs that mask the pain but girl the drugs are only making it worse i promise
Keep speaking your truth you are so amazing and telling the truth about what happened to you is going to help you so much. I don't even know you but I know you have fought the hardest battles. You endured so much because you decided to sacrifice yourself to keep your family in tact. That just shows how strong you are, and what a good person you are, even though you didn't understand it at the time. You are a soldier and worthy of every blessing.
9:44 most ppl think that something that happened so long ago shouldn’t be causing so much pain or that if you had children you should’ve been ready to move on. They don’t get that it’s so hard to deal with trauma when it keeps happening and life is so busy. Lots of ppl are told that kids will fix them. And the cycle continues
I can tell she had a lot more to say, and there you go again with your “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned,” which shouldn’t be applicable when talked to a childhood sexual abuse trauma survivor.
it pains me to see this women in emotional pain this wicked man needed to be exposed and reported because he is a pedo he as given this women a life sentence of Truma I hope she gets the help she needs to help her deal with this childhood Truma she suffered
So when people say you chose drugs it makes me so mad. Sometimes life is so cruel and your mind is not strong enough to overcome it. Some people will try their best to overcome their situation and can't and the ones who do will tell you that life of drugs, selling yourself or whatever they do was NOT CHOSEN! Please don't judge anyone. If anything wish them well.❤❤❤
“Thank you for listening to me”. Mark you are an angel. Giving someone your time and holding space with them without judging them is such a kindness.
Hi ...my name is KiyA if there is anyway I can help you please let me know an I send u my contact info...❤❤
When I listen to her voice I hear a little girl who is very scared and doesn't feel safe anywhere. So sad she has been through hell and back and I truly understand because I've dealt with the same shit all my life. I'm 62 now and I still can't believe that I made it this far. Hang on Tamara you are a fighter and don't ever give up!!
You and I hear the same thing. Glad you made it this far. You will always know when someone else has suffered as you have. That's true empathy.
She's been severely abused
When ppl ask why Mark interviews the ppl on Soft White Underbelly- Tamara's response at the end of the interview says it all. THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO ME.
My dad was on heroin when he was young, and got his masters when he was almost 50, and my grandmother got her bachelors from Lehman college when she was in her 80s, both immigrants from Central America. You are obviously capable and intelligent, I assure you it's not anywhere near too late for you to get off the streets, get your masters and give yourself the space to heal. Wishing you the best.
Amen
True.. but not everyone born the same
@@josephmull2158 we are all born with the opportunity to make choices. its up to us what we choose at any given time.
So sad to hear the story of her upbringing. Most of these people that come on to SWU are probably sharing their story for first time that’s been buried deep inside of them. Hope she makes it in life. Thanks for sharing
"I had a good childhood" ..... followed immediately by "I was sextually abused" ..... I don't know why or how but something tells me this woman has the something to make it, to be alright. With these words, sending love and prayers to this tender soul.
"I had a good childhood..... so i thought"
Tamara, you can get through this. As much as I hear the hurt in your voice, I also hear the motivation and hope in your voice. You are a survivor.
...a lot of hurt
Wishing you the best, Tamara. You clearly have a beautiful heart. You deserve so much good, please know that.
I hope she fully embraces her recovery…. She’s headed in the right direction
When she said “it feels like it’s always going to be hard for me” 🥺 just heartbreaking. I love you Tamara. You are a force . Still so gentle even though they wanted to destroy you. I admire you
This is utterly heartbreaking. She is so obviously in so much emotional pain that she can’t see a way through it. It’s so hard when someone in her shoes doesn’t have a way out. Most programs are exorbitantly expensive and out of reach for most. Not to much if she were lucky enough to get Medicaid, a lot of the programs don’t accept it as payment. The ones that do I wouldn’t send a dog too. This world is so incredibly screwed up. No compassion or humanity for most of these people. It’s disgusting how we treat the mentally ill, the ones on drugs because of the tremendous trauma they carry around daily. I pray to God she gets help before she becomes another horrible statistic.
To be totally honest honest, one time when I was young a man gave me a piece of cake and to this day I still hate any kind of cake. I really think he might have put something in it but I was only two so it was my parents responsibility. However I can relate to this sweet lady and her story as we have a lot in common and I don’t judge anyone even prisoners. In this world there are bad people and worse and who knows the difference 😢
Idk about the treatment in CA, but people get Medicaid in Philadelphia easy, although an ID, a mailing address two weeks are usually needed. There are addresses for homeless people in churches are available. The treatment can be half decent, some is terrible, but some that accepts commercial insurance is almost as bad once you get past the surface. Intensive outpatient with methadone maintenance saves lives.
I close friend of mine was molested for years by her brother. Though she’s highly educated and has a successful career, she still struggles emotionally. This woman is not beyond hope, and I’ll pray she gets clean. She deserves a blessed life.💚
You can do it Tamara, we’re all supporting you. Lot’s of love 💜💜💜
I recall listening/watching loveline back in the days. Dr Drew would mention how a lot of victims of child sexual abuse still spoke in a pitch of the age it occurred.
Yes!!
whoa!...thanks for that insight I was wondering about her tone but I didn't want to judge her
“Arrested Development” is the psychological term
@@colossalberger3451 Ahh. Thank you
I used to love listening to Love Line when I was a teenager
A gentle, kind and caring soul. It’s never too late Tamara. Don’t let the people who hurt you win. You are so much stronger and braver than they could ever be. Be courageous! God carry this woman and give her the strength.
Thank you for this video. 68 yr old white woman. I need this, no matter how painful. My heart goes out to her and her daughters.
Praying for you Tamara 🙏🙏 I hope you find the peace you deserve. Keep fighting. 💖💖
My mom got her first college degree when she was 49. Tamara is a beautiful soul, it's never ever too late. I hope she starts believing that.
I just really wanted to thank you for making this whole project. For starting soft white underbelly. It's such an important and beautiful thing.
❤AMEN!!!!❤
The amount of pain out there feels like too much to bear sometimes, and it so often comes to be self-propagating. It's brutal but informative what SWU is doing, shining a light on such individual stories of suffering, grief and regret.
My main hope is that treatment programs come to be made available in the coming years where psychedelic-assisted / MDMA therapies are provided to heal some of the deep, deep traumas that exist out there and which continue to grind away at the people carrying them and also the ones they love/who love them.
In so many ways, addictive painkillers are the worst kind of habit to get started on, though entirely understandable in the initial intentions to escape the pain. Organisations like MAPS are truly doing god's work in advancing the status quo in psychedelic-assisted therapies. Healing is so desperately needed by so very many.
Great comment.
I wanted to mention, incase you arent aware, that MAPS is also an acronym for minor attracted persons (pedos) and in the context of your comment it took me a sec to figure out what you were talking about lol. So does it also stand for mind altering psychedelics or something?
Medication Assistance Programs, such as suboxon
@@zanyaespeaks that's typically referred to as MAT, medically assisted treatment (I work in therecovery field) ❤️ but maybe they're not from the US and that's what they meant?
To add, not disagree, it's deeper than just drugs and mental health treatment. We can't plan on a future where we 'cure everyone' to solve these problems.
Society needs to fundamentally change to being a culture that takes care of all of its people, not just the 1%. Not because it's economically good, but because it's morally good and what the fk is the point in being the most wealthy and productive group of people on the planet if you can't use that money to do good?
We have so much excess unbalanced wealth stuffed away in the hands of so few that it has created so many incentives to breed and grow a culture of scumbgs, an entire underworld of criminals who thrive by finding little ways to steal a little more money here and there, while honest people scrape by with less and less, questioning how much morals are reslly worth.
@@morgenmachen2400 I believe it stands for Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies
Tamara, I hope you read this (when you get a phone), there is a block feature for the undesirables! Mark will set you up, he's a great man.
As far as your master's degree, IT IS NEVER TOO LATE sister! You get yourself straightened out and GO get yours, YOU DESERVE IT! If not for your mom, do it for your babies! You bat an eye and they're grown and there is no do over! I am sending you strength and prayers doll! 💙✌️🤗 U GOT THIS, you ARE strong and beautiful, we all get setbacks, learn from it and move on! 💪🫶✊️
The thing about some relentless undesirables is they use many different numbers to try to bother you if they know you don't want to be contacted. I don't blame her. She has a long way to go before she's ready for any of that you mentioned.
The “system” is beyond repair when a child would rather remain in an abusive home than be taken away to a place far worse; that is thinly veiled as “safe”.
I 1000% agree
I have a family member that is in California for a program. Calling it a program is generous. From what I have been told they are just out running around and doing what they want. It's beyond sad that this is happening to people who want help.
Being adopted isn’t always rosey. Fellow adoptee, and I’m praying for you Tamara to overcome fear of remembering, fear of being sick, fear of disappointment from others. I’m praying that the fear will be replaced with confidence. Believe in your own abilities the way you know your name. Amen 🙏🏾
What a beautiful soul. Praying she finds her way. ❤
❤🙏
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I'm praying for Tamara! I hope she finds peace. I believe she needs a dual diagnosis treatment program. Until she faces the abuse she went through she will never get clean. I hope she goes back home and gets treatment! Staying in California living on the streets is just going to make it worse. You can do this Tamara!!! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
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Liar
@@terrytownsend5583 Excuse me???? Are you calling me a liar???
As soon as they say, they had a good childhood. I just wait for it. Because I know I'm getting ready to hear something heartbreaking. I hope she finds peace on her journey.
All women and children need protection💝
Agreed. They don’t know what a good childhood looks like. Born drug addicted, abuse, etc. so sad.
Ummm….so do males. They’re people too and they’re abused as well. My late husband was raped in the coat room of his catholic school by his teacher when he was in 8th grade-in 1948.
And men don’t 🤦♂️
She seems like a beautiful soul who was just dealt a bad hand. Hope she finds some peace inside herself.
You can be a fighter and have pain inside of you. You can be a hero and live with trauma. You can be brave and still need a break.
I admire your strength. People aren’t able to understand something they’ve never experienced and as an addict, you don’t know until you know.
I wish you the best ✨
She seems so sweet! I wish and hope for the best! My heart is broken listening to her! ❤❤❤❤😢
I really had a deep sense that she has such a good heart, is very smart and still holds onto a fragment of who she knows deep within, of who she really is at her core. Tamara, I hope you see all the love ❤️ sent your way by everyone who watches...so many are rooting for you. Don't give up. Nothing that happened to you was your fault. You have a lot to offer this world. Sending you hugs and love ❤️
💔💔💔 People don't realize how their sick actions can ruin a person's whole life. Childhood trauma is a bi+ch! She's still hurting.
God have mercy on her soul.
I never trust drug addict tears but you can literally hear in her voice that she is broken and tired!
I hope she gets the help she needs.
I had to click off when I heard her say, "Hartford Connecticut". I can't even fully describe what I heard in her voice but it broke my heart. I will try to watch more later. I feel so bad that some people have to live through this trauma that I and others are mercifully spared. We need to do better protecting children. I don't know how...but we need to try. Thank you Mark.
I want to give Tamara a hug. It's not her fault things happened the way they did. I hope she can forgive herself.
Oh my heart aches for you, for your babies, for all of it, Tamara. I hope you find the strength to just keep fighting. You're important. And I promise you, if you work hard enough and get yourself into full recovery, your kids might just give you a chance to be in their lives, too. You have to do it alone, before other will join you, unfortunately.
I look at her face and I can easily see her as a child. Even her voice seems out of place, like her growth has just stopped at her childhood. Her trauma might as well happened this morning. Please, get help for this soul crushing trauma. Everything else will fall into place. You are a beautiful soul.
shes made it clear she isnt ready to be clean.
shes extremely ill.
hopefully she decides to get clean before its too late.
This is one of those that i just has to turn off. She has been hurt so badly. And to be hurt and abused and used starting at such a young age...the heart literally breaks. And whenever someone answers "fentanyl and crack," that combo, to "whats your drug today?" ...i know theyre in a bad way. It doesnt get more severe than that combo. Self medication is what it is. I love u and thank u for sharing. May u find warmth, safety, and healing.
God bless this poor tortured soul. I hope she can get clean and find the peace and love she deserves. ❤
listening to this interview has hurt my heart for sure. you can hear the hurt in her voice and just feel her pain to the core. I will pray VERY HARD for you tamara. I hope you can get sober soon and live the life you DESERVE. you are such a beautiful person.
Tamara's life story was gut wrenching to hear. I hope she was able to get clean and get her life back. How does anyone stand a chance after being abused and handed drugs as a child? Tamara not sure if you'd ever see this, but I believe you can rise up above all of this. You went through severe trauma, but you are facing things head on now. You deserve happiness and joy. I hope you get there.
Recovered-memory therapy (RMT) was popular in the 1990s. I was in therapy at the time & the therapist was 100% positive I had been SA'd as a young child.
I left therapy & never went back. I don't want to remember. I believe my subconscious is protecting me by blocking these suppressed memories.
And though the memories come occasionally, I do everything in my power to block them. I'm petrified to fully unearth them because they would destroy me/my family.
IMO, instead of helping patients remember, therapists should focus on helping patients forget.
We can not forget because our brain works. We can heal and forgive from the inside outward. That is a place that can find peace after such trauma. Good luck.
You may forget, but the subconscious does not. Self-sabotaging behaviors are born from repressed trauma. There is a way to "put away" traumatic memories, but even that is still a process.
I hear you. I feel similarly. Please know that EMDR helped me FAR more than traditional talk therapy. I don’t need to know all the specifics. My body held the trauma until I was able to release it. It IS possible to develop inner Peace. 🙌🏼💜
There’s such a connection between childhood abuse and really bad addiction later on in life. My heart really goes out to her. I’m also starting to get worried about Rebecca when she goes MIA? I wish Mark would give us just some sort of update Because I do feel Rebecca has gotten worse and is very thin now..
She is a strong person who needs help badly. I am going through the same shit and it's hard for me.
I think the therapy she was having is called EMDR. It can be very helpful for people but it has to be done very carefully so as not to overwhelm the person. They don't have to remember everything that happened either if they don't want to.
Yes! She was not quite ready yet for EMDR.
Wow , I know how it is to live on the streets/ sidewalks and I just see people who would take advantage of this beautiful little lady. I am going through some crazy things myself but my heart goes out to her.
I felt when she said she was afraid to get clean because then she wouldn't have anything to make her feel better
Healing from the past abuse she has endured and therapy, she wouldn't need anything to make her "feel better."
@@ritamccomas9271 that takes a lot more time, work, and stability than you think. Plus, you don't know what her brain chemistry will require even after that!
@@StephieGsrEvolution of course it will take time. Can't heal overnight. You make it sound like it'll take 20 years
@@ritamccomas9271 severe trauma can take the rest of someone's life to keep healing.
Wasn’t expecting that voice
haha, I read your comment before she spoke and tried to imagine what to expect... still surprised
she has a Connecticut accent...suburban
Neither was I, she sounds like a scared little boy afraid to speak😮 and I assumed she was in the early possible 60's
@@keeping_youaccountable1 was the pitch for me, black people even women have deeper voices. Based on her appearance and voice I would guess she is half African American and half Persian.
Sounds like a kid 😢
This is on that brings home "the true flex is having loving and supportive parents growing up"
Tamara thanks for sharing and speaking your truth, even though it was very painful. Your story brought tears to my eyes. So sorry you went through such trauma in your childhood. Your story is helping others to find their voice. Your strong and amazing. We came through it. Like you I found my voice many years ago. You will come through, come off the drugs. I found faith which helped me to get through the trauma. Your children love and need you . I am rooting for you Tamara, I know you can do it. I pray blessings, healing, love and light over your life ❤💜
What a beautiful aura she has!! As a childhood sexual assault survivor I am sending her so much love and good vibes 🥺
Tamara, I pray that you continue to work on your addiction,healing from the past trauma and protecting yourself by speaking out and up for you. Speak all the positive you can out loud and believe it.
The amount of guilt, of self blame that survivors hold for themselves is so heartbreaking. I'd suggest some reparenting when she's stable and out of survival mode. Getting clean has to happen first though, I believe.
Can we please get more regular content with Rebecca? ❤
I check the channel 3 times a day, hoping to see a new upload.
Thank you Mark 🙏🏻
Praying that you find a way to heal and get clean
You can do this, and you have degrees to use. You're fortunate in that way. You need to find the right program. I wish only the best for you. You are worth it!💙🌎
Great interview. Thank you for sharing this video with us. 👍🇨🇦😊
Why is this horrific crime so widespread?
You got this Tamara! Godspeed baby❤
What a precious soul, So heartbreaking that she has been used and abused in this way 😢
Mark you need to get her into a recovery program babe - she’s got so much potential x
Thanks Mark.
When you go for treatment. You will get thrown out if you bring drugs into the facility. You are a beautiful woman inside and outside. Search so far down that you have to come back up 🙏🏼
Childhood trauma can destroy your life,definitely have to heal those wounds and stop looking in the past,I understand her story bc of a similar background and addiction and depressions,I can honestly say I’m in the final stages of healing,letting go,forgiveness,talking about it and self love was some tools used to get me here,she can do it if she wants it bad enough
She’s still a frightened child, my breaks for her ❤
I truly believe you. People can't understand that the pain coming from trauma is unbearable, it is not an excuse . Please, be strong. I wish you all the best.
Tamara is a beautiful, thoughtful, intelligent woman!!! ❤Tamara you can do it and you are worth it!!! Sometimes you see people on this channel and it seems hopeless. Tamara does not look like she has passed the point of no return. I hope she gets into a new treatment center soon. She has so much potential ❤
This is a very intresting story, stay strong Tamara. 🙏
God bless you Tamara. I hope and pray the pain and humiliation will go away and she will find salvation. She has two college degrees she has high value education.
The Lord bless you and lift you up, Tamara. 🙏🙏🙏
Sending her all the prayers love and hugs! She broke my heart😢
it sad that she went to California for the “best” treatment and ended up on the streets, definitely doesn’t sound like the best treatment to me. this woman deserves so much better, I hope she can work through this unimaginable pain and recover
Such a sweet lady. My heart aches for her
Hold on Tamara! Please keep pressing through…it will be worth it 🙏🏼
she is attractive without makeup ✌️
I haven’t cried this hard in a while
❤God Bless you honey!!! ❤ If you have someone at home that cares about you, try to arrang to go home to them, so you have help. Its gonna be a long cold winter on the streets. I pray for your strength to fight these demons!!! You have been through more than anybody should have to suffer through!! Much Love and many Prayers for you!!❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
I hope that she forgives herself, and then begins to heal. The abuse and trauma was not her fault. But her and her daughters futures depend on what she can do now. ❤
This is another ome that hit me right deep down in my soul. I will be praying for you Tamara and sending you hugs🙏🙏🙏
Ditto, for some reason I cried for her, probably because it resonates. 💙✌️🤗 sis!
I think because she's not too far gone yet, she has a lot of insight, and it's easy to see so much potential.
This man that destroyed so much in you should contribute to your recovery.May your family support you. Most importantly.MAY YOU find the courage to stick a recovery program .May God bless your daughters.
May Yahweh heal this lady of her severe trauma and protect her from bad people on the streets as well as please deliver her from drugs.
Sounds like she was describing EMDR used in therapy. What sucks is it usually does help but the therapist is FIRST supposed to teach you coping skills before they even continue on. I hear a few stories where the client isn't quite ready yet but they continue on. I wonder if being that this was likely a free service to her that they try to rush it or something. It can really help if done right so I'm really sorry to hear that happened to her at NO fault of her own.
I have had brain spotting (BSP) used in therapy that really helped. I've heard others say they used it here. It brought up crap I thought I was over but just actually buried. It was a freaky but totally healing experience. I strongly recommend anyone who has trauma that still seems to hold them back consider doing BSP or EMDR.
However you need to find the right therapist AND be able to afford it which I understand isn't always possible. If you find a therapist you trust and decide to do it the experience can be extremely healing.
BSP takes less time to do than EMDR but it's said that EMDR can be done at a slower pace if you need that. I'm not a therapist just a huge supporter of trauma therapy with the right therapist.
I hope this lady can get into more therapy. I definitely can see that her past is the main issue.
🙏🏾🙏🏾I am praying for you Tamara you are stronger than you think you ARE a blessed survivor ❤❤Keep going ❤❤
It seems so odd that addicts find so many excuses, she says that she continues to use because of her sexual abuse, but, she can perform sexual acts in order to support her addiction. She says therapy made her worse, she can’t handle withdrawal, these excuses just don’t make sense.
Being on the streets with no money and being an addict makes people do things they detest, things they would never do otherwise. She said she didn't want to do sexual acts for money, but unless you were an addict you would never understand. The sickness from withdrawal makes addicts do what they have to do to keep from being dope sick, it will literally keep some addicts using. It's like the flu x 10. As much of an excuse as that sounds, I've heard many addicts say this.
As far as therapy, she needs to find the right therapist. Finding one you feel comfortable with talking about past trauma such as sexual abuse. I was in therapy but for different reasons, it took me 5 therapists to find the right one. It makes a difference, it sure does
Trauma leads to deep seated toxic shame. Self-sabotaging, even re-traumatizing behaviors/situations are born from that unhealed toxic shame. It doesn't have to make sense to you, or anyone else. The brain tries to save itself, and then long after trauma, sometimes the behavioral coping mechanisms are illogical. She is still in survival mode in major homelessness, don't forget!
You may judge her, but you obviously never had to face anything so dark.
@@StephieGsrEvolution❤❤️🩹💟☯️
@@StephieGsrEvolution It is wonderful that you have an understanding of her predicament. . I don’t ever want to judge, I watch the videos to learn. I’m always hoping for good outcomes.
@@kellyburnett1833 I understand. Thanks for explaining further. I see so many people making the same types of statements online and they are judgy, so I'm sorry if my assumption was wrong. I'm glad you honestly said what many people think when they see addicts and it doesn't make sense. It is so contradictory! Add on top of everything else, the substances they're abusing are keeping them further away from logic and reality. That's why I'm grateful for this channel and that Mark still leaves most comment sections open.
only understand so much myself still. I don't know what struggling with substance abuse is like. I've had other self-sabotaging behaviors to work through and that was difficult enough.
I only know what little I know because of growing up with family members addicted. Many, including my brother died 4yrs ago. I studied this in college, went to 12step Nar Anon/Al Anon, became a social worker, I'm still learning. Even the experts far more knowledgeable than me are still learning. One thing I know for sure is if it were simple for them to quit and get it together, they would simply do it. So much is going on.
she has severe generalized anxiety. She should look into non addictive medication for anxiety, it could help a lot with managing the stress of getting clean and staying clean.
Very Heartbreaking
Prayers for a better tomorrow Sweetheart.
Praying for you, what a beautiful soul.
Tamara, you deserve so much more than this life offered you ❤ I believe in your healing and in your recovery. Although everything has been hard and you don’t see a way out, your spirit shines so beautifully. You’re never too old to get your masters degree, you’re never too old to heal and to become that person that it sounds like you’ve always dreamed of being. The true you under that pain. You didn’t deserve it, you deserve to take your life back and know that there’s another side to the pain you’ve felt ❤
What a beautiful, sweet soul❤
Tamara, I’m glad you’re speaking up and standing up for yourself now. I can’t imagine how tough your situation must be, but I hope and pray you are able to get clean, work through your trauma, reconnect with your children, and have the fulfilling life you deserve. You are worth it. God bless you.♥️
God Bless Her! Prayers sent.🙏🏽🌹✝️
My heart is broken for you, Tamara. I pray you can find sobriety and a way to heal. You are smart and beautiful. ❤
She seems like a sweet lady and a kind soul. I wish people didn't have kids if they choose this lifestyle. It is their right to give up instead of fighting and throw their life away, but they have no right to continue this cycle. There are so many success stories where people overcome the biggest trauma and addiction etc. However if you choose 'not being sick' over raising your children, you don't have my sympathy, sorry. You will end up on the next 'In memory of' video and that's the end of it. Get your shit together, lady, grow the f up and prove us wrong.
Tamara im 46 i used my whole life i started my getting clean journey at 40 my daughter was 16 our relationship was horrible she hated me and for good reason!!!! But NOW my daughter is 22 we are so close she is my best friend we live together and i help raise my grandbabies so she can follow her career dream!!!! Its not to late start today!!! Also your 4 year old there is still hope!!! Get in. Program even if its MAT for now its still better than what you are doing now!!! Im praying you will see its not to late
On another note i went through sexual abuse as a child as well and my mother abandoned me at 3 years old so i know its hard to step away from the drugs that mask the pain but girl the drugs are only making it worse i promise
Keep speaking your truth you are so amazing and telling the truth about what happened to you is going to help you so much. I don't even know you but I know you have fought the hardest battles. You endured so much because you decided to sacrifice yourself to keep your family in tact. That just shows how strong you are, and what a good person you are, even though you didn't understand it at the time. You are a soldier and worthy of every blessing.
I just want to hug this woman and tell her it will be okay.
9:44 most ppl think that something that happened so long ago shouldn’t be causing so much pain or that if you had children you should’ve been ready to move on. They don’t get that it’s so hard to deal with trauma when it keeps happening and life is so busy. Lots of ppl are told that kids will fix them. And the cycle continues
I can tell she had a lot more to say, and there you go again with your “What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned,” which shouldn’t be applicable when talked to a childhood sexual abuse trauma survivor.
it pains me to see this women in emotional pain this wicked man needed to be exposed and reported because he is a pedo he as given this women a life sentence of Truma I hope she gets the help she needs to help her deal with this childhood Truma she suffered
So when people say you chose drugs it makes me so mad. Sometimes life is so cruel and your mind is not strong enough to overcome it. Some people will try their best to overcome their situation and can't and the ones who do will tell you that life of drugs, selling yourself or whatever they do was NOT CHOSEN! Please don't judge anyone. If anything wish them well.❤❤❤