Ben Shapiro's Woke Ex Girlfriend

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  • Опубликовано: 15 окт 2024
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Комментарии • 1,9 тыс.

  • @cindybrown7527
    @cindybrown7527 Год назад +6000

    Having the same values is key. It doesn’t matter if you have different hobbies or taste in movies, music, decor. It’s the values that hold a marriage together.

    • @lordsathariel4384
      @lordsathariel4384 Год назад +87

      a older gentlemen who was part of a group i was in touch with that discussed craft work explained it like this hobbies and taste will help you find a partner but your morals and principle values will decide if you both stay as partners that old guy was even more cynical then me but he did come out with really useful insight

    • @MichelleRitota
      @MichelleRitota Год назад +8

      Very well said.

    • @xajaso
      @xajaso Год назад +4

      Yep

    • @carlariggs525
      @carlariggs525 Год назад +26

      it DOES matter. If you're SO has hobbies and interests that turn you off and get on your nerves; it's not going to get better.

    • @kathyp1563
      @kathyp1563 Год назад +13

      Hobbies can be used to filter, discreetly. Money is the #1 of arguments in a marriage. Hobbies can tell you if you view money similarly, discreetly. Most people are happy to discuss how they finance their hobbies. Are they creative? Indulgent? careless?
      Also, you can learn how efficient someone is with their spare time and if that is compatible with your viewpoint.

  • @joliehalo
    @joliehalo Год назад +642

    When I started asking these questions at first I got scared because I noticed I was turning down a lot of guys. And my friends started to say that I needed to be patient. And I’m so happy they did because Ben’s right, even when you get a no to vital question you’re still winning because you’re weeding out the people that don’t line up with your values.

    • @georgepalavi5060
      @georgepalavi5060 Год назад +8

      I heard that Warren Buffet was quoted as saying that the key to a happy marriage is low expectations.

    • @benjaminbradley780
      @benjaminbradley780 Год назад +4

      I'm happy you've found the right one now, even if he is your brother. Love is love. Don't let anyone judge you. Except maybe the judge...

    • @wiggy5209
      @wiggy5209 Год назад +2

      So it worked for you then?
      Because for men we don't get as many changes at finding this stuff out like women can ....a woman just has to breathe for 20 guys to be pestering her

    • @marietgagliardi
      @marietgagliardi 9 месяцев назад +1

      My answer was, I only need one. And sure enough, I found him.

    • @anneshirley9560
      @anneshirley9560 7 месяцев назад +9

      @@wiggy5209you kinda answered your own question. Guys are typically the ones that seek out women, so if a guy a talking to a woman and he disagrees with her morally then he should move on and try to find somebody else. Also, as an ugly woman, it's extremely rare ( I've only been approached maybe 4 times that I can remember) so there are downsides to both genders.both genders should move on when they disagree with fundamental values.

  • @chrisavg8575
    @chrisavg8575 Год назад +11487

    He didn't even mention that his wife IS A DOCTOR

    • @countesselizabeth
      @countesselizabeth Год назад +318

      Ok and?

    • @chrisavg8575
      @chrisavg8575 Год назад +572

      @@countesselizabeth it's a joke, there video compilations that when he talks about his wife ,he says it everytime like a proud dad

    • @hvacexplained9341
      @hvacexplained9341 Год назад +43

      That makes a Huge Difference 😁😁😁😁😁$

    • @edengladman3552
      @edengladman3552 Год назад +40

      cringe asf🤦‍♂️

    • @omarfarique6304
      @omarfarique6304 Год назад

      ​@johnnys141Yes it's actually a big deal even H1tler saved a Jew doctor from getting ex*cuted. But that's because that doctor helped H1tler's mother when they had no money to pay him

  • @cruisingaltitudewaitress3396
    @cruisingaltitudewaitress3396 Год назад +300

    I agree. 45+ years ago, after dating many mismatches I told my husband on our first date what I I wanted my future to look like. My dream was pretty uncool in the late 70’s, but I told him anyway. I wanted a career, a career of making and taking care of my own family. I wanted 4 kids, cook, bake, sew the whole homemaker life and “a guy that believed in God but wasn’t weird about it”. He immediately said “Will you marry me?” 💕

    • @kellyfrancis8999
      @kellyfrancis8999 Год назад +19

      Aww, beautiful.

    • @genovevagalarza7135
      @genovevagalarza7135 Год назад +9

      Beautiful

    • @dehidaiaperez3680
      @dehidaiaperez3680 Год назад +6

      ❤😊

    • @kimpeterson8090
      @kimpeterson8090 Год назад +9

      That was my dream also ! got it for a while but never regretted staying home to raise my own children.

    • @jackf3619
      @jackf3619 7 месяцев назад +8

      Feminine women like you are so rare today and they’re so attractive!!! I would love to find a girl that wants to raise my kids and stay home

  • @GlucoseGuy
    @GlucoseGuy Год назад +4294

    seeking a partner with similar values to you is paramount.

    • @stephj9378
      @stephj9378 Год назад +7

      Ben said it well

    • @WhatTheWHAT524
      @WhatTheWHAT524 Год назад +18

      He really did. He always does speak so very well. He is just so eloquently, intelligently and confidently well spoken.

    • @niki7876
      @niki7876 Год назад +2

      all of these values are so npc and basic. there's literally no depth. u can find a girl like that through a jewish dating app.

    • @nnchn9740
      @nnchn9740 Год назад

      @@niki7876what

    • @KygoCalvinHarris-xu4kv
      @KygoCalvinHarris-xu4kv Год назад +4

      ​@@niki7876ok but people have different levels of faith

  • @CustomerAdvocate-y4n
    @CustomerAdvocate-y4n Год назад +349

    *if more people were like this, divorce rates would significantly drop historically*

    • @jeinhorn87
      @jeinhorn87 11 месяцев назад +11

      True, but so would marriage rates - it's very hard to find someone who is deeply compatible up front... People do change over time though so often "close enough" is the right choice given limited time to pick

    • @amandaparenteau9288
      @amandaparenteau9288 11 месяцев назад +7

      @@jeinhorn87yes but so many people don’t even look for “close enough” on issues that really matter, they look at that overall and never have the deeper conversations. It’s not likely that someone’s core values will drastically change so having some idea what they are ahead of time is important.

    • @kuarahyyva
      @kuarahyyva 9 месяцев назад +2

      Not necessarily. Two people can marry and at the start of that marriage have the same beliefs and ideals. But people do change in marriages for better or for worse, and that includes their viewpoint.

    • @marthaworc7873
      @marthaworc7873 9 месяцев назад +2

      @@kuarahyyva How about respecting and celebrating differences in your partner. It makes marriage much more interesting. Ben is right about one thing, if someone I marry cannot bend, that would be a problem! I get the feeling Ben can't bend!

    • @kuarahyyva
      @kuarahyyva 9 месяцев назад

      @@marthaworc7873 I can’t marry someone who has polar opposite beliefs, especially those who believe some people don’t deserve to love who they love or be who they are.
      I’m happily married, so I have no issue saying so

  • @Destinyirus278
    @Destinyirus278 Год назад +2118

    Low key I think the whole “date someone whose the opposite of you” is the biggest myth in all of “dating advice” it just ends up wasting everyone’s time

    • @heroawesome8495
      @heroawesome8495 Год назад +183

      I think that only works on things that people can be open-minded on. Taste in movies, music, food, etc can totally be opposite. Same thing with an introvert marrying an extrovert. It definitely doesn't work for values though.

    • @michaelmartin2262
      @michaelmartin2262 Год назад +52

      Me and my wife are opposites. Different religions, color/culture, and political views. We have maybe three interests in common, but the specifics aren't. Gaming, anime, reading. But we have vastly different interests in each of those categories. Been together 14 years, married for 10 and happy.

    • @NerdyPanda-td1tz
      @NerdyPanda-td1tz Год назад +61

      It’s not a myth. There’s a difference between POLAR OPPOSITE, and being different in ways that compliment eachother. My husband and I are total opposites, but also the same person in many areas, and most importantly, our core beliefs were identical. That’s key. You can be totally different in terms of taste, hobbies, what have you, it’s the core beliefs/values that matter. I would genuinely hate if my husband was just like me 😂😂😂 our differences make up for our shortcomings. Balance.

    • @Taelyr
      @Taelyr Год назад +16

      100% true. Had 3 boyfriends in my entire life including my current one. First boyfriend was extremely catholic and believed women had to be pure but he could go sleep around and be obnoxious and gross. Second boyfriend was the opposite, he was a devil worshiper who made child r*pe jokes, said the n word quite regularly (he was Portuguese), and loved to cheat. Now I’m 23 with my current boyfriend who is literally just a guy version of me. We have the same music tastes, political and economic views, and views when it comes to a relationship. Almost 3 years with this man and my only regret in life is not having him as my first boyfriend 😭❤️

    • @heroawesome8495
      @heroawesome8495 Год назад +3

      @@Taelyr do Portuguese people say the N-word a lot? I've never heard of that stereotype

  • @Acts-1915
    @Acts-1915 Год назад +24

    That's HOW to find a spouse.
    Not things. Character!

  • @bradclifton5248
    @bradclifton5248 Год назад +1263

    Absolutely 100%. These conversations should happen even before, formally dating.

    • @crystaljones1747
      @crystaljones1747 Год назад +8

      🎯🎯🎯

    • @J-Bird1234
      @J-Bird1234 Год назад +11

      Um no, that is why you date. To find if you are compatible.

    • @zanussidish5685
      @zanussidish5685 Год назад

      Before. 😂
      Fcking Hell, this comment has 309 likes from other idiots

    • @ashleydanielson3222
      @ashleydanielson3222 Год назад +20

      @@J-Bird1234sometimes you can find out before the date but sometimes dating is how you find out.

    • @moonriver7439
      @moonriver7439 Год назад +19

      @@J-Bird1234 you don’t need to date someone to find out you don’t share the same values.

  • @SusieQ3
    @SusieQ3 Год назад +110

    Absolutely! My first date with my husband was us both asking each other world view questions. We were both looking for a spouse, so it was important to make sure we agreed on the essentials before wasting each other's time.

    • @indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927
      @indiasupportstrumpwwg1wga927 7 месяцев назад +1

      wow, that was me with a woman who having an affair on her husband did! We made sure we had a lot in common, so we were able to have a long term relationship for over 5 years. Even people who have affairs need to have stuff in common!

  • @tegendavidge1535
    @tegendavidge1535 Год назад +925

    So spot on. I tell everyone my husband and I had all of our most intense discussions in our first 6 months of knowing each other 😂

    • @Horsegirl2024
      @Horsegirl2024 Год назад +24

      YES! We had our within 2 or so months 😂😂 I grilled him hard on things because he was the first man I was with since I made my stance on things I value morals of etc and we’re now 9 months in and expecting our first in April 😂😅 if you know you know lol

    • @pursuingpurity596
      @pursuingpurity596 Год назад +7

      We got engaged after three conversations. Married after 4 in person meetings 😊

    • @mariahholden2088
      @mariahholden2088 Год назад +1

      @@pursuingpurity596mashallah

    • @lindmarcella
      @lindmarcella Год назад +2

      @@Horsegirl2024I didn’t and so wish I had. Finally got it right when I married a guy who basically has most of the same values.

    • @leilaluna7
      @leilaluna7 Год назад +1

      I read that too fast as " I tell every husband I had..." At first

  • @Thunderforce90
    @Thunderforce90 Год назад +68

    I’ve always heard from my family, “interests and things you have in common is what starts a relationship, values and beliefs is what keeps the relationship together”

    • @liamcraddock9539
      @liamcraddock9539 11 месяцев назад

      I hear that all the time but I've never been able to meet a person, let alone a girl who has any of those things. I always hear "just meet a girl with the same interests"... No such girl exists, I'll never be able to be *that* picky.

    • @Thunderforce90
      @Thunderforce90 11 месяцев назад

      @@liamcraddock9539trust me I know that life. Sometimes I feel like I’ll never be able to find someone worthy of marriage just due to most modern women in my age group being overwhelmingly leftist and anti marriage

    • @loverofhumanity
      @loverofhumanity 7 месяцев назад

      That's not true. Sexual attraction is the most important aspect in a marriage

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      @@loverofhumanitysexual attraction is a common interest

  • @Destinyirus278
    @Destinyirus278 Год назад +83

    I agree w/ Ben here.. I think more couples need to agree on major stuff like religion, politics, marriage & having children.

    • @theunistudent
      @theunistudent 7 месяцев назад +1

      Not really, you just need to be mature and humble enough not to force it down the throats of your children who have the right to form their own views and have their own aspirations in life. At least one loving parent is all you need, and I doubt having two parents who think exactly alike on a range of fringe issues is really preparing them for the real world!

    • @mistypedhi
      @mistypedhi 7 месяцев назад +1

      ​@@theunistudentInstilling good morals and values into your children statistically sets them up for success.

  • @bybbah
    @bybbah Год назад +21

    hi Ben I'm a Muslim and yes I do agree with you so much .I wish this video existed 23yrs ago ,because you articulate better .Sadly I lost my marriage because I was not so on point ,and it was too late because the wall came crushing down 6months in being 2month pregnant. Of we are divorced but big emotional and psychological divorce. Now that I'm articulate, then I'm intimidating. So still single now because I stay firm on my ground. But I'm thankful that I was fated to have my son and learn to be strong on my worth. I'm 51 .

  • @69Luffy88
    @69Luffy88 Год назад +905

    He did not go to Cambridge university. He was referring to the city of Cambridge when he went to Harvard

    • @lodestar3984
      @lodestar3984 Год назад +27

      I was looking for this. Thank you!

    • @honestabe_9207
      @honestabe_9207 Год назад +11

      Facts, I was about say: Cambridge, MA

    • @kyv2431
      @kyv2431 Год назад +9

      For his Law school. Not undergrad

    • @Istaychiseled
      @Istaychiseled Год назад +7

      @@kyv2431@69Luffy88 he is a conservative and saying Harvard is off putting to his target demographic of consumers, hence the omission

    • @frostpond
      @frostpond 7 месяцев назад +2

      @@kyv2431there ya go…

  • @eman2498
    @eman2498 9 месяцев назад +6

    Ben mentioned the religious compatibility aspect. This is a huge part of compatibility in marriage. It really makes a difference. The family that prays together stays together.

    • @Sti0131
      @Sti0131 5 месяцев назад

      No

  • @peu1285
    @peu1285 Год назад +82

    As I tell my daughters and their friends: first & foremost is to know thyself - decide what's non negotiable for you and pick someone who shares these non negotiable values too. Don't compromise on these if you're looking for marriage and raising a family. Secondly, be the person you want to date and marry. Don't aspire to marry an ambitious, hardworking and responsible person if you're a loser who's looking for "someone to complete me".

  • @1stltwife
    @1stltwife Год назад +13

    Celebrating 35 years of marriage on Saturday! Husband &I I met in military ( both on active duty)..talked about God, family, values etc and in 48 hours, he proposed! I said yes.. we knew we belonged together and trusted God!- must be doing something right!! Love how smart he is and how he ADORES AND RESPECTS HIS WIFE!--

  • @Destinyirus278
    @Destinyirus278 Год назад +38

    He’s not wrong especially about politics… I’m Gen z & never knew a time where stuff wasn’t overly political.. my family says back in the day people never really had political talks, people that voted democrat & people that voted Republican could all still be great friends & never be disrespectful towards eachother. But I’ve only seen society as this place that EVERYTHING is turned into a political debate, like legit anything & everything & it’s only getting worse & worse, it’s low key sad to think about.. I wish we could just respect everyone’s political differences & not hate eachother

    • @archer1133
      @archer1133 Год назад +1

      For me it’s still in that fantasy. If you just don’t talk or comment about politics no one will know where you lie and you’ll meet people who like you based on personality, even if they have differing views. It’s their opinion; no one will have the exact same beliefs as you.

    • @JennyJeong425
      @JennyJeong425 8 месяцев назад +2

      I remember those days.

    • @NovusIgnis
      @NovusIgnis 7 месяцев назад

      I hate this whole "respect people's differering opinions" BS. My adversaries believe that women can murder their kids if they want to. They believe that men are evil and inferior and need to be restrained. They believe that children don't belong to their parents but to their teachers and their government, and that it's perfectly fine to discuss sexual matters with them against their parents' wishes.
      I have absolutely *NO* respect for evil and sin, and I will not deign to pretend that the devil's designs are on par with God's.

  • @jessicatindall8996
    @jessicatindall8996 Год назад +12

    My Husband "Picked" Me Before I Ever Met Him. He Saw Me And Apparently Said "Omg. That's The Girl I'm Gonna Marry.", But Just In Case He Was Wrong, He Proceeded To Ask Me All The Difficult Questions Before He Even Sat Down At The Dinner Table On Our First Date.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      Bet he met you in English class!

  • @Samuelnicole483
    @Samuelnicole483 Год назад +168

    If everyone put at least half the effort and thought Ben put into picking a partner we’d thrive so much as a nation.

    • @orthotuber
      @orthotuber Год назад +1

      The reason why they don't is because they're have sex.

  • @balozhende5727
    @balozhende5727 Год назад +17

    He was in Cambridge MA, not the Cambridge in England.

  • @emiliana1767
    @emiliana1767 Год назад +55

    While I live by different values, I completely agree with his view on how to pick a life partner. Be concious what is important to you, make sure you have common life goals and values and learn what personality traits are an indicator for a healthy relationship. Don't settle for less.

  • @JohnWaxed
    @JohnWaxed Год назад +6

    The underlying tone was “how Jewish are you reaaaalllly?” 😂

  • @estoyazucar
    @estoyazucar Год назад +230

    True. You just look for the "core".
    My parents met on a Friday and got married the next, and not a soul knows (which brought the house down). My dad, who was from an exclusive school for boys, slightly afluent for that time, chose my mom who doesn't have a penny to her name, and barely finished school. So I asked, "why"? And he said, it didn't matter. He is the bread winner anyway. And it was perfect. What my mom had was kindness, patience, understanding, integrity, faith, a bit of ambition, and industriousness-- traits that my father's family didn't fully have. They were industrious but stingy, have money but condescending, selfish, and wavers in faith. Now, I am just looking for the same; what I need, from what the society wants. Because
    ...I envy their 1 week romance, and 40 year marriage. ❤❤❤

    • @cherigoodrich782
      @cherigoodrich782 Год назад +19

      Wow, that truly is amazing and beautiful. A very short court that turned into 40 years of marriage that says a hell of alot for your parents.

    • @LarryA-w4j
      @LarryA-w4j Год назад +5

      This doesn't work for everyone I I am happy for your parents sign Cynthia Smith

    • @SusieQ3
      @SusieQ3 Год назад +15

      My parents dated for slightly longer than 1 week, 3 months, before they married, but they were married for almost 51 years before my mom passed away.

    • @jesseperon4835
      @jesseperon4835 Год назад +8

      @@SusieQ3I’m sorry for her passing! But that is truly amazing ❤
      It’s sad because things are just not the same as those days, when they met. No cell phones, no internet or social media; they got to really get to know each other fully without all the distractions & bs plus both sound like great ppl that were soulmates ❤

    • @anguyen2808
      @anguyen2808 Год назад +1

      Respect to your dad for being the better person in the family
      A lot of young people tend to be influenced and become the same kind of person

  • @johnrichards6080
    @johnrichards6080 Год назад +9

    She sent her resume before the date, sat for the interview, and got the job.

    • @user_mll374
      @user_mll374 Год назад

      I prefer Ben's maturity to Andrew Tate sleeping with endless women, looking for a sex toy, and ending up.... what is he again??....oh right! Single and old!! 😉

    • @Isaacmantx
      @Isaacmantx 5 месяцев назад +1

      You realize that it is a two-way interview, right…? She should be asking and expecting the same things for her spouse choosing process as well.

  • @auk7150
    @auk7150 Год назад +26

    Love his articulation
    I always looked for a “thinker” , he said it a lot better

  • @rachel.770
    @rachel.770 Год назад +2

    “Ur picking one person out of all humanity” that actually made me feel better im in highschool and i feel like if i dont get a bf now i will never meet somone

  • @joyjeffcoat8711
    @joyjeffcoat8711 Год назад +188

    Very important to be with someone of your same faith. Most the time women marry men and think they can drag them along into their faith. Many times it does not work

    • @Eggy79
      @Eggy79 Год назад +9

      Yeah having the same imaginary friend is a key to a solid relationship

    • @bruhahaheehee2687
      @bruhahaheehee2687 Год назад +8

      I'm sorry that you will die and then nothing. Also, it says somewhere in the bible and yes I am paraphrasing poorly, that if you are married to a non believer your faith can cover your husband or wife, possibly saving them as well. My aunt was a Christian and my uncle was not. She and there son my cousin went to church for decades alone without my uncle. My cousin grew up to be a pastor, my aunt died and now my uncle is saved. I never thought that would happen .

    • @Cinnogirl
      @Cinnogirl Год назад +18

      @@bruhahaheehee2687 nope. Not true! I am glad for your case that it worked. When Paul said that, he was referring to people who were already married to the unbeliever before they (the Christian) got saved. Being a believer that is married to an unbeliever does not save them, but it sanctifies them so they do not sin (if they're willing to be obedient to their spouse). As for the first statement, I would rather live my life as a Christian and then die for their to be nothing than live my life as an atheist, die, and be in hell.

    • @bruhahaheehee2687
      @bruhahaheehee2687 Год назад +13

      @@Cinnogirl well I think we are talking about the same thing. I know my uncle was atheist all my childhood. All my child hood he and my aunt were married. Idont know when she got saved exactly, but she and her son , my cousin, started going to church while we were all young and I remember asking him if he went and believed in Jesus and he ,at that time did not. My aunt and uncle remained married to each other until she died. My cousin became a preacher. My uncle lives alone to this day but now he is a Christian . I don't know when that happened for him, only that her faithful dedication to the Lord and my uncle witnessed it and also his one and only son as well were saved because of her example. Seems like what I read in the bible kinda explains it. God bless!

    • @bruhahaheehee2687
      @bruhahaheehee2687 Год назад +7

      @@Cinnogirl also Ms. Shelby, when I opened my first comment with sorry you will die and nothing, I was responding to the commenter who said God was an imaginary friend. I should have specified that part. Lots of love

  • @spud13y
    @spud13y 7 месяцев назад +1

    Ben: * asks questions *
    Future wife: I’m a doctor.
    Ben: SOLD!

  • @Simpleandslowliving
    @Simpleandslowliving Год назад +24

    This is how I found my husband, after I became catholic. I can't wrap my head around the fact, that before that I had a boyfriend with multiple red flags who I told "you don't need to pop the question. Unless this and that changes I will say no".
    It is crazier to commit to someone until you get the courage to ask the most important questions and who needs to chance and you wait for it, than find someone who is really compatible

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      Nice way of saying you had a ho phase 😂

  • @TrekBeatTK
    @TrekBeatTK Год назад +18

    The one man who cares that his wife was ambitious.

    • @loveubye2288
      @loveubye2288 11 месяцев назад +1

      Looks were still first though

    • @winkA1
      @winkA1 11 месяцев назад +1

      Looks are always first, looks are the gateway to the follow up questions. It’s a hard truth but it’s reality. The good news is the stats say that men are attracted to around 80% of women. So as long as you’re not in the bottom 20% (to him), you’ll get the follow up questions.

    • @irener.3849
      @irener.3849 9 месяцев назад +2

      The wife who is ambitious will help her husband with his goals. She will not resent him for working too much, or taking risks in order to achieve more. So if you are ambitious you need a wife who will share your aspirations.

  • @Driesking
    @Driesking Год назад +279

    you need a partner with a similar view, otherwise it really cannot work out

    • @freedomcat
      @freedomcat Год назад

      And yet liberal women find conservative men more attractive than liberal men.

    • @imgiratina4083
      @imgiratina4083 Год назад +15

      Exactly! If you don't have the same view, you're not going in the same direction, you will not end up in the same place

    • @NxnNxnlcjcj
      @NxnNxnlcjcj 11 месяцев назад

      What's your view?

    • @BB-rn2ks
      @BB-rn2ks 11 месяцев назад +1

      Ive been married 20 yrs and my husband is white male republican and i am a female mexican Democrat. It works because we love and respect eachother

    • @freedomcat
      @freedomcat 11 месяцев назад

      @@BB-rn2ks Andrew realizing the Democratic party does not represent your cultural views.

  • @carajames6696
    @carajames6696 Год назад +7

    Obviously it doesnt eliminate all issues if you share the same major values, but it definitely puts you on a good foundation.

  • @mz3735
    @mz3735 Год назад +23

    Sometimes, even with the right questions, partners lie. I found out 8 years in that my partner is a gambling addict. Go figure. You just can't know everything all the time about your partner. It is love, love is a risk you take. The price is high but the reward of having loved and being loved is great

    • @user_mll374
      @user_mll374 Год назад +3

      Very true. There are no guarantees in life. But that shouldn't stop you from doing your best, and making the best choices you can, in the moment.
      I'm very sorry for your having to deal with that gambling addiction. I know someone who married a man and later found out about this. It's awful 😔

    • @mz3735
      @mz3735 Год назад

      @@user_mll374 Thanks. The silver lining for me is that at least being with him is more rewarding than the pain of his gambling addiction. Also, he is cooperating with me on stopping it, giving me full control over his economy

    • @GodISSovereign17
      @GodISSovereign17 7 месяцев назад +2

      I was going to say this very thing. I was lied to(twice) about wether or not they believed in God. Both were addicts as well. People are very good at playing the role of who you want them to be, for years.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      @@GodISSovereign17god is all knowing. If you’re his follower you don’t believe, you do it

  • @JenniferSDuran
    @JenniferSDuran Год назад +4

    My now husband and I had this amazing conversation the 2nd day we met, it went for hours and hours, we discussed everything from personal matters to religious ones. It was not a concerted date but it was definitely the base for our relationship and future marriage.

  • @Tealaful
    @Tealaful Год назад +55

    People who say that they have the entire humanity to pick from are weird. It's not true. You have such a small group to choose from and if you don't leave your city, it's even smaller. Y'all, don't get it twisted, you dont have as many good options as you think. Meeting someone perfect for you rarely happens two or three times. So live wisely.

    • @nancykane8680
      @nancykane8680 Год назад +5

      But, God can . . If you want His guidance

    • @Weremoogle
      @Weremoogle Год назад +3

      Yep. Good luck to everyone.

  • @JoseEduardo1594-
    @JoseEduardo1594- 7 месяцев назад +1

    Thank you for making me feel less crazy some days I’ve felt too strict for having things like ambition and commitment and health as something to look for in a partner.

  • @t3hpwninat0r
    @t3hpwninat0r Год назад +11

    I'm a completely different person to Ben. I have different values, but I completely agree with Ben 100%. Make a list of specific things that important to you. Things about you, not about them, and be specific. Your life partner must satisfy those criteria in order for the relationship to be successful.

  • @photosolutions8618
    @photosolutions8618 Год назад +5

    A lot of people don't realize that shared interets are not the same as shared values. A lot of people will date other people with the same or similar interests yet that is no indicator that a relationship will work out. When it doesn't work out, that's because the values didn't align. Sharing the same interests with someone gives you instant gratification because you immediately connect over the same interest, but if you like John Mayer, for example, you'll have that in common with every single girl at a John Mayer concert; that doesn't mean all those girls are a great match, it just means you both like John Mayer a lot.

  • @AMunee
    @AMunee Год назад +43

    I actually respect his values and mindset. He found someone who had similar beliefs and morals.

    • @NxnNxnlcjcj
      @NxnNxnlcjcj 11 месяцев назад

      Yeah,like what?

    • @AMunee
      @AMunee 11 месяцев назад

      @@NxnNxnlcjcj I don't think I understand your question?

    • @NxnNxnlcjcj
      @NxnNxnlcjcj 11 месяцев назад

      @@AMunee 😂his values and mindset and his similar beliefs and morals

    • @AMunee
      @AMunee 11 месяцев назад

      @@NxnNxnlcjcjAre you saying he didn't find someone that had the same morals/beliefs?Or that you don't agree with them (Ben's morals/beliefs)?

    • @NxnNxnlcjcj
      @NxnNxnlcjcj 11 месяцев назад

      @@AMunee 🙅🤦you said you respect his values and mindset. What are they?

  • @derKrampus
    @derKrampus Год назад +2

    Ben "my wife is a doctor" Shapiro

  • @monkfry
    @monkfry Год назад +4

    My wife always says I interviewed her the first time we met and I have to admit, it’s true. I was done finding out bs down the road and starting over. Nothing wrong with not wasting your time or someone else’s.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      People lie on interviews for the job 😂

  • @pigeon4200
    @pigeon4200 Год назад +2

    Does he forget that that spinster-ass Pearl knows more about marriage than he does? 😂

  • @johnkuwik2477
    @johnkuwik2477 Год назад +40

    He literally just explained hiw unbelievably lucky he, and well she, was. But, he also stuck to his morals. Imagine what the divorce rate would be if we all had that integrity.

    • @anaromello
      @anaromello Год назад +2

      It's about having the intelligence and moral upbringing to know what to look for and how to live your life. If people aren't well educated and guided, they have to learn from catastrophic mistakes.

    • @ohyea456
      @ohyea456 Год назад +1

      Yeah, I feel like he was EXTREMELY picky and somehow managed to find someone. Yet here I am, 37, and still haven't found a woman willing to commit past 1.5 years.

    • @johnkuwik2477
      @johnkuwik2477 Год назад

      @@ohyea456 38 going on 39..... feel ya

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      @@anaromelloaka hoe phases

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      @@ohyea456shapiro is extremely successful and at the time of meeting his future wife saw the $$$ security

  • @The-Khatalyst
    @The-Khatalyst 7 месяцев назад +1

    I would hardly call someone he "went on a date with" an ex.

  • @AnthonyWariner
    @AnthonyWariner Год назад +5

    Very very smart and rational line of thinking. I could have used this advice twenty years ago.

  • @Miamidoll81
    @Miamidoll81 Год назад +27

    His Wife is so blessed to have such an educated and handsome loving and loyal Husband.Hes also very blessed and she's a Doctor.

  • @Notguilty1
    @Notguilty1 Год назад +8

    Too much logic for the average American.

  • @jq8974
    @jq8974 8 месяцев назад

    This is so key. When you do this kind of questioning of each other, you can be kind. And dating is still fun! But this keeps you away from stupid dating and wasted time and hurts. Or worse. And it opens up the best.

  • @graceamsterdam5404
    @graceamsterdam5404 Год назад +3

    Sharing values/ethics is the basis. I found out too late. A lot can be negotiated/discussed/revalued/reconsidered, but not values/ethics…. The simple 10 Commandments… lying, stealing, killing…

  • @Vitone22
    @Vitone22 7 месяцев назад

    That’s why communication is super important in a relationship.

  • @nicolekalasuva9812
    @nicolekalasuva9812 Год назад +5

    My husband is Hindu and a vegetarian I’m Christian and a meat eater just those things alone causes fights alllllll the time. He’s smart

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      All good spouses are meat gobblers, even though they claim to be vegan

  • @milton7763
    @milton7763 7 месяцев назад +1

    Ben explaining to us how he _picked_ his wife based on a grocery list

    • @friedrichrubinstein
      @friedrichrubinstein 7 месяцев назад

      Most people today fail to understand how to find the right partner, which is why divorce rates are through the roof and the rest are married unhappily.

  • @TMarkisson
    @TMarkisson Год назад +7

    This is why you should start looking for your mate when your young. With a laundry list of qualifiers you'll need time to sort thru them all. But notice the first qualifier was beauty. Not the only thing, but the first thing.

  • @tamarbatyah7
    @tamarbatyah7 11 месяцев назад

    "By getting a 'No' to a question that you think is vital" 🎯

  • @FredHenry1850
    @FredHenry1850 Год назад +64

    I asked my wife, "Do you want to move overseas and plant churches in a place where you could get killed for being a Christian?" She said, "Yes." In that one answer, she answered 100 other vital questions. I knew she was the one.

    • @mattjcrane
      @mattjcrane Год назад +2

      So when do you plan on moving over seas with her?

    • @FredHenry1850
      @FredHenry1850 Год назад +5

      Already did.

    • @mattjcrane
      @mattjcrane Год назад +3

      @@FredHenry1850
      Well I hope you don’t get killed my friend. Which country did you move to?

    • @FredHenry1850
      @FredHenry1850 Год назад +19

      Thank you for the kind support. We moved to Kenya, along the Somali border. We have been evacuated a couple of times and have had to flee to different cities due to Al-Shabaab activity in our area. We have contingency plans in place and stay in clear communication with our team. For the most part it is peaceful, though.

    • @L0wen
      @L0wen Год назад +6

      God bless you guys ✝️🙏🏻

  • @surfsavage2860
    @surfsavage2860 11 месяцев назад

    I got to meet Ben's family and Ben himself at Boca Ratons town center mall and I must say. Such a beautiful and respectful family. Ben took time away from his family to actually speak to me and he showed such grace as a man to just be humble and normal and spoke to many people. I have so much respect for him.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      You do know he’s getting paid a hefty amount to do that

  • @williamsveen2827
    @williamsveen2827 Год назад +62

    I have 15 years on Ben. I just learned these things. He had good parents.

    • @Winskl9010
      @Winskl9010 Год назад +4

      Lol I’m 21 and even I know this, it’s just common sense

    • @williamsveen2827
      @williamsveen2827 Год назад +1

      @@Winskl9010 good.

  • @agmessier
    @agmessier 7 месяцев назад +1

    "In" Cambridge, not "at" Cambridge. He studied law at Harvard.

  • @43aqueous
    @43aqueous Год назад +7

    I love that he wanted an ambitious woman! Put all these insecure men to rest.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      As if non-ambitious couples don’t exist 😂

  • @ryancorkery5831
    @ryancorkery5831 5 месяцев назад

    These are important, but another critical thing to remember is that people change, so you may be in alignment on things when you first get together, but diverge as the years go on. The trick is constantly communicating and having those deep conversations and work out those divergences as they come. If you’re marrying for life, you two will need to be happy changing together. When done well, it’s a beautiful process!

  • @missys1925
    @missys1925 Год назад +13

    So many variables. I picked my husband bc his voice was low… all these years later, I’d pick him again and again ❤

    • @sherbetstraw
      @sherbetstraw Год назад +2

      😂 glad it worked out!!

    • @loverofhumanity
      @loverofhumanity 7 месяцев назад

      I have a high pitched voice 😂.....wish I was like your husband...seducing all the ladies with my voice

  • @jsmum196
    @jsmum196 Год назад +11

    This is very important because you are PICKING THE PERSON WHO WILL HAVE YOUR CHILDREN. Choose wisely!!

  • @Destinyirus278
    @Destinyirus278 Год назад +10

    He’s ain’t wrong about the politics.. I legit my brother & his wife fight about politics 24/7.. they’ve tried making agreements to just not talk about politics but in 2023 it’s pretty impossible, especially cuz they watch the news so they always having fights over that.. it’s crazy, they married a long time ago & both never knew eachothers political opinions back in the day but the way society has become so hyper political, now they’ve realized they are on complete opposite sides when it comes to politics

  • @lsjt8924
    @lsjt8924 11 месяцев назад +2

    As a woman, frankly, it’s still pretty depressing that no matter what, the number one criteria he lists is that she’s beautiful - for both women.

  • @NikkiPhillippi
    @NikkiPhillippi Год назад

    All of this 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  • @celestialknight4407
    @celestialknight4407 Год назад +3

    Being a doctor is irrelevant, not all doctors are good people

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      Polite way of saying ho

  • @vasthefox
    @vasthefox 11 месяцев назад +2

    They were just in the talking phase.
    She was not his girlfriend.
    So not an Ex.

    • @bane3991
      @bane3991 11 месяцев назад

      Why would he put that as the title when he can get more views like this?

  • @rebys5791
    @rebys5791 Год назад +13

    Wow! He knew what he was looking for a partner at a very young age.

    • @orthotuber
      @orthotuber Год назад

      His parents prepared him for marriage from the time of his bar mitzvah, that's why. Most boomer and gen x parents neglected to prepare their kids for marriage during their teenage years. Also there's no option of celibacy in Judaism so every Jew is expected to marry and have kids.

  • @judyroland2959
    @judyroland2959 8 месяцев назад

    Absolutely right’. Very very impt. Know thyself first, then you can pick well!

  • @JennTN411
    @JennTN411 Год назад +4

    Everyone should have these standards ❤

  • @trenae77
    @trenae77 7 месяцев назад

    I love the fact that while looks played a part in the initial noticing, it was values and personality that sealed the deal in the end.

  • @Scorpiotwinnk
    @Scorpiotwinnk Год назад +3

    Being with him would be a nightmare ..you do one thing wrong he will gas light you

  • @kriegsmariner_14
    @kriegsmariner_14 8 месяцев назад +1

    Reminds me of that one country song, “She likes the Beatles and I like the Stones.”

  • @ardent963
    @ardent963 Год назад +4

    Going on a first date with Ben Shapiro would be more comparable to an Executive job interview with a Fortune 500 company.
    I'm betting he also ran a background check.
    So romantic! LOL

    • @user_mll374
      @user_mll374 Год назад +5

      As opposed to going on a date with a man trying to get you drunk, lying to you about anything, and trying to take you home to sleep with you???
      Yeah.... that's way more romantic....
      🙄🙄🙄🙄

    • @ardent963
      @ardent963 Год назад

      ​@@user_mll374 If the man is playing "catch and release", and the first "date" is going out to a bar... it tells me a lot about the woman.
      And if the woman is wearing 3lbs of makeup, has fake boobs, high heels, dyed hair complete with hair extensions... She deserves an honest man? 😆🤣😆

  • @BeautifulDreamerK
    @BeautifulDreamerK Год назад

    Totally agree with what he said about picking the same religion and cultures. Most people who fall in love with different religions and cultures say that they are ready to work hard at understanding differences but what we fail to forget as that once you get older, you’re less likely to want to work hard (like how you were when you were younger) and would rather maintain things to keep the peace. There’s already “hard work” thrown enough at you as a married couple, then add kids, aging parents, extended families, etc… even marrying someone in the same culture can be really difficult if you didn’t grow up similarly or have similar values.

  • @NZcoco
    @NZcoco Год назад +5

    This is one of the issues with today's society, people aren't having the right conversations early before being intimate

  • @SarahSkinnyJeans
    @SarahSkinnyJeans Год назад

    The interviewers face LMAO

  • @pinkanimositygaming
    @pinkanimositygaming Год назад +3

    My brother in law (my fiancé’s brother) got divorced from his now ex wife last year. He married her after only dating for four months, she didn’t want kids but he did, she wanted to live in her native California and he hates California, she’s super woke and he’s conservative, and she’s pro-abortion while he’s pro life. It was never going to work out. Had they had more tough conversations earlier on, they might’ve come to the conclusion that they weren’t compatible before vows were exchanged. Now his new gf is also a liberal Californians. Men in that family never learn their lesson.

  • @mistypedhi
    @mistypedhi 7 месяцев назад +1

    My husband and I were young when we fell in love. We didn't discuss religious beliefs or political beliefs at all. We were just compatible and happy. We grew together and in doing so we came to all the same conclusions politically and religiously. Maybe it was luck ? Maybe he was God sent ? I don't know but I'm grateful. It worked for us.❤

  • @santodeportes5946
    @santodeportes5946 Год назад +4

    He is a genius for this

  • @robertboyd8897
    @robertboyd8897 Год назад

    Bro walked into the first date with an exam 💀

  • @Wickwok
    @Wickwok Год назад +7

    Ben is very based.

  • @ceemapicardo3236
    @ceemapicardo3236 7 месяцев назад

    Ben probably gave her a quiz with Multiple choice questions to answer. lol

  • @FenyxBlaiseAsche
    @FenyxBlaiseAsche Год назад +4

    Traditional values come with standards. He's right and a lot of men out there should take notes. You're living a life of sin.

  • @kristinej.4182
    @kristinej.4182 7 месяцев назад

    He’s absolutely right! For a relationship to work long term there has to be more similarities than not. The old saying about opposites attracting is a little flawed bc from my own personal experience, I am the happiest and at peace with someone who shares similar values as I do and have similar goals and outlook on life whether it’s education, work ethics and health goals. My ex and I had very little in common other than initial chemistry and a few hobbies and thus it ended in disaster. My current BF and I come from similar backgrounds, share similar life beliefs and we just mesh so effortlessly.

  • @swiatlowiekuiste
    @swiatlowiekuiste Год назад +15

    Rapatatatatatatatatatatata - Ben Shapiro

    • @tickley42
      @tickley42 Год назад

      My favorite part about your comment is that RUclips offers to translate it to English. 😂🤣

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад +1

      @@tickley42and when you translate it, it doubles down on the Ts 😂

  • @donadfull8887
    @donadfull8887 7 месяцев назад

    Dang that Ben Shapiro Wife Application form must be a doozy to fill out 😂

  • @DD-ng3bj
    @DD-ng3bj Год назад +10

    His wife is beautiful … she’s the whole package ❤ 👏

    • @selliantuttimusi6735
      @selliantuttimusi6735 Год назад +1

      Nah, physically speaking she was a 6 (at best) in her prime. Now she's barely a 5. But she has all these other qualities Ben looks for I guess..

    • @smilessantana2049
      @smilessantana2049 Год назад

      gorgeous! lucky pick

    • @smilessantana2049
      @smilessantana2049 Год назад

      your a zero@@selliantuttimusi6735

  • @vassilenatanadjikova6188
    @vassilenatanadjikova6188 8 месяцев назад

    Very well said! Best wishes!!!

  • @johns.sr.7433
    @johns.sr.7433 Год назад +4

    Stop explaining your personal life, we lov3 you no matter what.

  • @lillianvaldi7669
    @lillianvaldi7669 5 месяцев назад

    “Gradations of observancy” in many religions can change but it is definitely 💯 an important distinction & matter when the goal is to raise a family.

  • @clintonkildepsteen3982
    @clintonkildepsteen3982 Год назад +4

    Did you know his wife is a doctor.... now you do

  • @davidh7799
    @davidh7799 7 месяцев назад +1

    Picking a person to spend the rest of your life with....for the majority, that turns out to be a really bad idea.

    • @-Clarence-
      @-Clarence- 7 месяцев назад

      Because most are really stupid thinking with lust

  • @reginageorgetownuni
    @reginageorgetownuni Год назад +4

    Hot take: ben shapiro dating app

    • @heroawesome8495
      @heroawesome8495 Год назад +1

      Honestly I would fund it. Like at the beginning you take a personality test about the important stuff like values, politics, religion, and kids and then it automatically weeds out people who don't agree with you on the important things. I'm not sure if I would mark it it as a Ben Shapiro dating app though lol

    • @reginageorgetownuni
      @reginageorgetownuni Год назад

      @@heroawesome8495 yeah. Name it something better. The current dating apps are dud. They're just for hook ups. We need apps for people that are looking for committed relationships or even just good friendships

  • @sharonodom6423
    @sharonodom6423 7 месяцев назад

    Yeah, I think it's important to get the big things outta the way & date with intentions.

  • @Joe-og6br
    @Joe-og6br Год назад +6

    Until recently politics would have been no influence on dating. But with all the woke shit flying about its an actual concern. 😂

    • @bluetopguitar1104
      @bluetopguitar1104 Год назад

      I will not date a fascist Trump cult member. Have a nice day.

  • @MICHAELASHER.
    @MICHAELASHER. Год назад

    Looking at her, Ben congratulations for REACHING!!!

  • @sarai5000
    @sarai5000 Год назад +5

    Imagine living your whole life with his voice. The nightmare!