About meaning: Fifty-five years ago, at the age of 25, I was just about to fall into the abyss. Then, that night, I walked into a bar and met a woman who brought me back to life. We married, had a child, I finished college and became successful at my job. Then, three years ago, my "meaning" passed away. I didn't know what to do, and I still don't know what to do. A psychologist recommended books by Viktor E. Frankl, a man who survived the Nazi prison camps by his discovery and development of MEANING, I read with interest and enthusiasm, and discovered that my wonderful wife of fifty-two years was the source of MY meaning through all those years - out of alcoholism, into college, into success at my work...all because of Janet. Not FOR her but BECAUSE of her. Now, Janet is gone. My meaning is gone. I read Frankl and he makes good sense. But I cannot find that invisible force that once formed my life. I cannot find my meaning. At eighty years old, I don't expect that I will.
Janet is still with you in spirit, she must have known you so well in fact better than anybody and you her. You may find it comforting to talk to her, you know what she would say to you and I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. Grief can be very hard but you have your memories of a wonderful life together. Go and meet and socialise with people, I’m sure you are probably unaware that many people care about you. You have a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom please don’t lock it away share it with people. I’m sure people today could learn from you and the love you and Janet had and still have for each other. People today aren’t very good at relationships we need to learn and listen to people just like you. You are still important and can help people find meaning to their lives because you know what it is. Bless you.
@@davidashley4386 Thank you for those lovely words. Inspiring. Yes, as you say, Janet is with me. all day every day and thru the night, and I thank God every day for bringing us together.
You gave yourself to someone for her own sake snd she did the same for you. This is as not all of your meaning but it was a special kind of meaning that is a once in a lifetime experience. What a loss. But …. What a blessing too. Because of your wife you pursued a meaningful life and you still are. This is her gift to you. I feel the hole that is now in your life, but there is something special there that remains that comes out in your tribute.
Mark, from the very deep of my heart saying this - you are an angel!! I really meant it!! You had a very kind heart and really helped us the sufferers with effective and genuine advice that are so insightful ❤ I really want to thank you and was so grateful having found you in RUclips. I’m a sufferer of depression and anxiety ocd and adhd since young and I’m over 45 now….I’m getting even lost when I grow older and now I just can’t do anything but feeling hopeless with no future as you said…I tried ti rely on religion or addiction to thinking for a long time but still feeling frustrated in life….thanks so much mark for making us having hoped again 😊 you are an angel indeed ❤
Thank you for sharing your skill, it is a great help to me and is allowing me to be more awake to my emotions and the simpleness of giving and receiving instead of searching to fill my emptiness. I have three people in my life with disabilities who I care for and one is my adult daughter and I realise I give to her but don't take on board when she tries to give to me. Last night she messaged me to see if I was OK after cutting myself shaving, which seems so trivial, but it isn't, it's her way of giving caring love to me. Thanks again 😊
Hi Mark, I've only discovered you 2 weeks ago and I've already listened to at least 12 of your videos. They are informative, articulate and easy to listen to. This type of therapy makes sense and having had CBT in the past, which is a kind of DIY method of therapy, I've found these videos far more helpful. Thank you.
You sound a great person to talk too mark my childhood and neglect ptsd from my past, I wasn't loved or felt I didn't belong anywhere. Wish you were my therapist mark keep up the good work god bless you 👍
This is profound and poetic in its content and really appreciated. Survival for some is itself meaningful. Unfortunately living conditions sometimes create the ability to find comfort in very small things in life. Meaning in the act of growing flowers or caring for a child. There are those from such dark beginnings that are blessed with the ability to take meaning out of smile given to someone else in need.
Excellent points over summarized as love and work. The conclusion in my book, "Quest for a Meaningful Life through....". Conclusion is, you make up your meaning. Religion not needed. You make up your meaning. Try love and work and what this video says.
I might want you as a therapist, if you are not completely different with a patient and if you have tools and techníques that are being used. I need someone sensitive, stable, wise, empathic,open, healed, spiritually open. The only things keeping me alive are my knowledge of how things work, that hell can change any time, that I can always do something to u+influence my reality and hell.I have to stop helping others in order to be worthy of help in my own unconscious mind, as well as helping out of a vast deficit of energy. I am thinking of giving up to the mega-impossible life-threatening torture-like situation and -state, (since no-one really decided to really will to help me get help but making invalid excuses), and maybe then feel free to re-start painting etc until I die. Stopping to save my life, to get help, to focus my whole time, effort and energy towards it, thinking professional help is my only way to heal and live.
I hope nobody finds it intrusive that I want to quote a verse of Quran that reminded me of what Mark is speaking about in this video. There are many paths to finding fulfillment within and in my case, I was not born Muslim but I did find meaning in Islam (Sufism) after going through an abusive childhood and having been left with no understanding of what to do in this life. Quran 45:23. Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilah (god), and Allah knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allah? Will you not then remember? At the end of the day, everything we seek and do is usually done to fill up a void we have been carrying and we are led astray by having obtained everything we thought would make us happy but realising we are still in search of more. Understanding the root cause of why I'd desire and chase for certain things, has been my key to freeing myself from so much emotional suffering I went through. I wish everyone would reach a beautiful state of mind, body and soul.
Hi Mark, you had a video up about helping someone cope with fear of death that I swore I watched on this channel not a few days ago. It never showed up in my subscribers tab, but I happened to be looking at your channel page and I think I saw it? What happened to it? I wanted to revisit it.
Hi mark been a big fan of your channel, was wondering if there’s any way to contact you personally recently I’ve been through some stuff and would like to talk to someone as knowledgeable as you
Ya, I wasted 5 years putting all my energy, mind, body, soul into getting love from my husband.. but i never recieved it.though I have been married for 13 years and only recently I realized this .last 5 years I was desperately trying to make him love me. I lost myself in that journey. I didn't love my life, couldn't study to get a job, no self care, not interested in anything.sole purpose was to find love in him. But he is narcissistic and I was abused emotionally running behind him...i am 41 now.now I stopped begging for love and concentrating on studies and learning to drive..but still that expectation of unfulfilled need for emotional intimacy is there..how to get rid of it Mark?
Nothing temporal matters. There is more to life than what is found in temporal existence. Finding life beyond the temporal is not exclusive to religions. Some religious beliefs do assist with with finding meaning in life relative to life beyond temporal existence.
Can someone please help me with this question it might not even make any sense. These past couple of months I keep having a repetitive thought or image in my head about a feeling in my body but I don't know if I'm imaging the feeling or not. It's kind of like a black shape in my stomach. I don't know why but it comes into my mind all day every day and I know it sounds stupid but it's true. It's kind of like an image where I'm looking at my stomach and it is a black round shape of anxiety. It's making me feel dissociated from my body. It's making me want to escape in my mind. Can someone explain if this sounds like ocd or not? Has anyone had any similar experiences?
Religion provides the feeling of never being good enough, constant judgement and sadness. One can decide the meaning to one's own life without buying into the myth of a god. Religion or any THING doesn't make one happy or unhappy. Being happy is a decision
Excellent content, didn’t know you had a book on dark side of emotional needs, may have to order that. I do have your helping hands book. I’ve been too wrapped up in theory which neglects praxis so this channel has been a wealth of information that scratches that itch. I find your approach refreshing and I do have to say I owe quite a bit to you and this channel. Going to start getting my license soon and I thank you. Wish I had you as a lecturer as it would be great to get a coffee for some conversation. We could talk about how you’re going to apologize to the public for those subtle jabs at postmodernism ; )
What matters is that we do something to stop climate change, we vote for a pro active political party who values our planet over money. We have only one planet to live on! We stop using plastic where possible. We refuse to buy animals flesh from factory farms and milk from enslaved cows who suffer greatly. We stop abusing chickens. We treat others with respect.
I notice women say, "That's not MY truth. I have my own truth and its not at all like what people of years ago believed." My truth is making the best version of MYself I can on MY journey in MY life." I asked, "well, what is YOUR truth?" Although she was passionate about her truth, she couldn't describe at all what it was. I said, "if you can't describe YOUR truth, how can others maybe agree with YOUR truth and share in it?" She just put in another nose ring and walked angerly away. If there is just YOUR truth and MY truth, is there any truth at all? I think this may be why they call this the ME generation.
you have your truth and someone else has their truth, everyone's truth is truth, there's no one truth. I hear it all the time. With just a little bit of logic it's obvious to see that 1. we all live as if there is real truth 2. All truth can't be true. The Christians claim there's one God and we go to be with him., Hindu's, there are hundreds of gods and we are continually reincarnated,, bhuddists, there's no God and we're reincarnated till we reach nirvana. One may be true, none may true, but they obviously can't all be true because they are incompatible truths.
Excellent Vedio , thank you for sharing , the purpose of life is to warship the creator and in the process you will attain happiness and content in your heart which no material thing Can replace it That is why suicide is unheard of Majority of the muslim countries Evan thought mostly are poor nations compared to wealthy western countries because of the purpose life, regardless the maternal Things one have
About meaning: Fifty-five years ago, at the age of 25, I was just about to fall into the abyss. Then, that night, I walked into a bar and met a woman who brought me back to life. We married, had a child, I finished college and became successful at my job. Then, three years ago, my "meaning" passed away. I didn't know what to do, and I still don't know what to do. A psychologist recommended books by Viktor E. Frankl, a man who survived the Nazi prison camps by his discovery and development of MEANING, I read with interest and enthusiasm, and discovered that my wonderful wife of fifty-two years was the source of MY meaning through all those years - out of alcoholism, into college, into success at my work...all because of Janet. Not FOR her but BECAUSE of her. Now, Janet is gone. My meaning is gone. I read Frankl and he makes good sense. But I cannot find that invisible force that once formed my life. I cannot find my meaning. At eighty years old, I don't expect that I will.
Sobering comment … Thank you for sharing and I hope you can find some semblance of peace in your life at this time.
Janet is still with you in spirit, she must have known you so well in fact better than anybody and you her. You may find it comforting to talk to her, you know what she would say to you and I’m sure she wouldn’t want you to be unhappy. Grief can be very hard but you have your memories of a wonderful life together. Go and meet and socialise with people, I’m sure you are probably unaware that many people care about you.
You have a lifetime of knowledge and wisdom please don’t lock it away share it with people.
I’m sure people today could learn from you and the love you and Janet had and still have for each other. People today aren’t very good at relationships we need to learn and listen to people just like you. You are still important and can help people find meaning to their lives because you know what it is. Bless you.
@@davidashley4386 Thank you for those lovely words. Inspiring. Yes, as you say, Janet is with me. all day every day and thru the night, and I thank God every day for bringing us together.
@@eco4145 Thank you for your kind words.
You gave yourself to someone for her own sake snd she did the same for you. This is as not all of your meaning but it was a special kind of meaning that is a once in a lifetime experience. What a loss. But …. What a blessing too. Because of your wife you pursued a meaningful life and you still are. This is her gift to you. I feel the hole that is now in your life, but there is something special there that remains that comes out in your tribute.
very good. I'd like to point out, in our quest for meaning there will never be a perfect (ultimate meaning) we will arrive at.
Mark, from the very deep of my heart saying this - you are an angel!! I really meant it!! You had a very kind heart and really helped us the sufferers with effective and genuine advice that are so insightful ❤ I really want to thank you and was so grateful having found you in RUclips. I’m a sufferer of depression and anxiety ocd and adhd since young and I’m over 45 now….I’m getting even lost when I grow older and now I just can’t do anything but feeling hopeless with no future as you said…I tried ti rely on religion or addiction to thinking for a long time but still feeling frustrated in life….thanks so much mark for making us having hoped again 😊 you are an angel indeed ❤
This is so on point and much needed in todays society ,
Absolutely riveting and thought provoking, essential material. Congratulations for a wonderful video Mark
Thank you for sharing your skill, it is a great help to me and is allowing me to be more awake to my emotions and the simpleness of giving and receiving instead of searching to fill my emptiness. I have three people in my life with disabilities who I care for and one is my adult daughter and I realise I give to her but don't take on board when she tries to give to me. Last night she messaged me to see if I was OK after cutting myself shaving, which seems so trivial, but it isn't, it's her way of giving caring love to me. Thanks again 😊
Hi Mark, I've only discovered you 2 weeks ago and I've already listened to at least 12 of your videos. They are informative, articulate and easy to listen to. This type of therapy makes sense and having had CBT in the past, which is a kind of DIY method of therapy, I've found these videos far more helpful. Thank you.
❤ dear Mark you are my teacher 😊 your always useful sending you lots of love and positive vibes 🎉God bless you
You sound a great person to talk too mark my childhood and neglect ptsd from my past, I wasn't loved or felt I didn't belong anywhere. Wish you were my therapist mark keep up the good work god bless you 👍
This is an important video for 2022!
This is profound and poetic in its content and really appreciated.
Survival for some is itself meaningful. Unfortunately living conditions sometimes create the ability to find comfort in very small things in life. Meaning in the act of growing flowers or caring for a child. There are those from such dark beginnings that are blessed with the ability to take meaning out of smile given to someone else in need.
Highly articulate and informative. Thank you.
This series is brilliant
thank you your video was informative, clear in steps and humour was enjoyed.
This video is spot on
Excellent points over summarized as love and work. The conclusion in my book, "Quest for a Meaningful Life through....". Conclusion is, you make up your meaning. Religion not needed. You make up your meaning. Try love and work and what this video says.
I've felt very nihilistic in the last 18 months. Searching for meaning but doing so from a pressured/scared position
Always amazing
Just having "emotional needs" is an Albatross. It's what makes psychopathy so alluring.
Thank you for the informative teaching. I thoroughly enjoy your pleasant, relaxed demeanor. Do you come from an existential orientation?
I might want you as a therapist, if you are not completely different with a patient and if you have tools and techníques that are being used. I need someone sensitive, stable, wise, empathic,open, healed, spiritually open. The only things keeping me alive are my knowledge of how things work, that hell can change any time, that I can always do something to u+influence my reality and hell.I have to stop helping others in order to be worthy of help in my own unconscious mind, as well as helping out of a vast deficit of energy.
I am thinking of giving up to the mega-impossible life-threatening torture-like situation and -state, (since no-one really decided to really will to help me get help but making invalid excuses), and maybe then feel free to re-start painting etc until I die. Stopping to save my life, to get help, to focus my whole time, effort and energy towards it, thinking professional help is my only way to heal and live.
The Groundhog Day movie seems to provide great guidelinesl in this respect.
I hope nobody finds it intrusive that I want to quote a verse of Quran that reminded me of what Mark is speaking about in this video. There are many paths to finding fulfillment within and in my case, I was not born Muslim but I did find meaning in Islam (Sufism) after going through an abusive childhood and having been left with no understanding of what to do in this life.
Quran 45:23. Have you seen him who takes his own lust (vain desires) as his ilah (god), and Allah knowing (him as such), left him astray, and sealed his hearing and his heart, and put a cover on his sight. Who then will guide him after Allah? Will you not then remember?
At the end of the day, everything we seek and do is usually done to fill up a void we have been carrying and we are led astray by having obtained everything we thought would make us happy but realising we are still in search of more. Understanding the root cause of why I'd desire and chase for certain things, has been my key to freeing myself from so much emotional suffering I went through. I wish everyone would reach a beautiful state of mind, body and soul.
I have spent most of my life seeking meaning and i have found that there is none.
Hi Mark, you had a video up about helping someone cope with fear of death that I swore I watched on this channel not a few days ago. It never showed up in my subscribers tab, but I happened to be looking at your channel page and I think I saw it? What happened to it? I wanted to revisit it.
Hi Mitchel - here it is! (it's on our Uncommon Knowledge channel :)
ruclips.net/video/YQzmhBIjoR0/видео.html
@@MarkTyrrellUnk Thanks for the reply, I must've missed it! Glad to see it was my mistake and hadn't been taken down.
Hi mark been a big fan of your channel, was wondering if there’s any way to contact you personally recently I’ve been through some stuff and would like to talk to someone as knowledgeable as you
Ya, I wasted 5 years putting all my energy, mind, body, soul into getting love from my husband.. but i never recieved it.though I have been married for 13 years and only recently I realized this .last 5 years I was desperately trying to make him love me. I lost myself in that journey. I didn't love my life, couldn't study to get a job, no self care, not interested in anything.sole purpose was to find love in him. But he is narcissistic and I was abused emotionally running behind him...i am 41 now.now I stopped begging for love and concentrating on studies and learning to drive..but still that expectation of unfulfilled need for emotional intimacy is there..how to get rid of it Mark?
Thanks ♥️
Nothing temporal matters. There is more to life than what is found in temporal existence. Finding life beyond the temporal is not exclusive to religions. Some religious beliefs do assist with with finding meaning in life relative to life beyond temporal existence.
Read Viktor Frankl “Mans Search for Meaning”
Can someone please help me with this question it might not even make any sense. These past couple of months I keep having a repetitive thought or image in my head about a feeling in my body but I don't know if I'm imaging the feeling or not. It's kind of like a black shape in my stomach. I don't know why but it comes into my mind all day every day and I know it sounds stupid but it's true. It's kind of like an image where I'm looking at my stomach and it is a black round shape of anxiety. It's making me feel dissociated from my body. It's making me want to escape in my mind. Can someone explain if this sounds like ocd or not? Has anyone had any similar experiences?
Religion provides the feeling of never being good enough, constant judgement and sadness. One can decide the meaning to one's own life without buying into the myth of a god. Religion or any THING doesn't make one happy or unhappy. Being happy is a decision
Excellent content, didn’t know you had a book on dark side of emotional needs, may have to order that. I do have your helping hands book. I’ve been too wrapped up in theory which neglects praxis so this channel has been a wealth of information that scratches that itch. I find your approach refreshing and I do have to say I owe quite a bit to you and this channel. Going to start getting my license soon and I thank you. Wish I had you as a lecturer as it would be great to get a coffee for some conversation. We could talk about how you’re going to apologize to the public for those subtle jabs at postmodernism ; )
What matters is that we do something to stop climate change, we vote for a pro active political party who values our planet over money. We have only one planet to live on! We stop using plastic where possible. We refuse to buy animals flesh from factory farms and milk from enslaved cows who suffer greatly. We stop abusing chickens. We treat others with respect.
I gave up after the tenth 'ok'...
I notice women say, "That's not MY truth. I have my own truth and its not at all like what people of years ago believed." My truth is making the best version of MYself I can on MY journey in MY life." I asked, "well, what is YOUR truth?" Although she was passionate about her truth, she couldn't describe at all what it was. I said, "if you can't describe YOUR truth, how can others maybe agree with YOUR truth and share in it?" She just put in another nose ring and walked angerly away. If there is just YOUR truth and MY truth, is there any truth at all? I think this may be why they call this the ME generation.
you have your truth and someone else has their truth, everyone's truth is truth, there's no one truth. I hear it all the time. With just a little bit of logic it's obvious to see that 1. we all live as if there is real truth 2. All truth can't be true. The Christians claim there's one God and we go to be with him., Hindu's, there are hundreds of gods and we are continually reincarnated,, bhuddists, there's no God and we're reincarnated till we reach nirvana. One may be true, none may true, but they obviously can't all be true because they are incompatible truths.
Excellent Vedio , thank you for sharing , the purpose of life is to warship the creator and in the process you will attain happiness
and content in your heart which no material thing Can replace it
That is why suicide is unheard of
Majority of the muslim countries
Evan thought mostly are poor nations compared to wealthy western countries because of the purpose life, regardless the maternal Things one have
Move to Africa you will find plenty of meaning to life. There are so many people that need help.