living alone diaries: venting on 6+ years of singleness and the lost art of self-pleasure
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- Опубликовано: 10 мар 2024
- hi boos 🫶🏾,
i really wanted to open up the dialogue in exploring the rawness and honesty of what it looks like to fully embrace all of your singleness. what does that look like when you're not actively dating or engaging in casual encounters? what does it look like as a lover girl who loves to romanticize her own life, but isn't receiving romantic experiences from others in her life?
anywho, we're back from Arizona safe and sound. I'm so excited to be juicing with my new Nama J2 Cold Pressed Juicer! Prepare to be sick of me, okay? Alsoooo, not this being my first time going to the Farmers Market since living here in Atlanta for like 7 months now LOL.
The new nails are giviiiiinggg and I love them! 🧚🏾♂️💚. Shout out to the girrrls who voted for my new nail set via my Instagram stories. Of course, new Oner Active gym sets means we doing new sh*t in the gym too, lol. I promise the back is gone be ouuuttttt this summer y'all!!
anywayssss, i hope your week is going amazing! take care all ways, always. enjoy! xo ❣️
(make sure you watch in 4k, the quality is top tier 🤩)
links to some of my favs mentioned:
💖Nama J2 Cold Pressed Juicer💖:
namawell.com/collections/juic...
💖16oz Glass Juice bottles💖:
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💖Warby Parker Glasses💖:
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💖Topicals Slick Salve💖:
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💖Caraway Cookware Set💖:
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💖Matcha Essentials💖:
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💖Living Room & Bedroom Curtain essentials💖:
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💖Dawson Sofa & Ottoman💖:
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💖Living Room Round side table💖:
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💖Throw blanket💖:
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Bubble Bath Essentials💖:
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💖Oner Active Workout Sets💖:bit.ly/48c1AFB
*Use this link for $10 off your order
💖Apple Watch💖:
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💖Beats Headphones💖:
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💖Calpak Gym Bag💖:
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💖Phlur Missing Person Fragrance💖:
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💖Aritzia Glossy Super Puff Shorty💖:
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💖Our Place Lavender Ovenware💖:
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💖Large Wine Glasses💖:
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💖Rose Matcha Latte Recipe💖:
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💖Electric Tea Kettle💖:
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💖Matcha Latte Essentials & Recipe💖:
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💖Boucle Pillow Covers and Inserts💖:
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💖Magnetic Wooden Knife Holder💖:
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💖Nakano Mito Knife Set💖:
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Use code: 'AMANIRAKEIA'
💖Six Penny Neva Bed💖:
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💖Bedroom Decor💖:
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💖Miche Gel-To-Foam Mousse💖:
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💖UPDATED Skin Routine & Products💖:
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💖Shower Routine & Products💖:
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💖Back Scrubber Brush💖:
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💖Harmless Harvest Coconut Water💖:
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💖My RUclips Vlog Camera💖:
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💖Atl Nail Artist💖:
/ anhoang1996
*If you don’t see something linked here, please check both my storefronts below:
✨Shop my Amazon Storefront: www.amazon.com/shop/amanirake...
✨Shop my LTK Shop: www.shopltk.com/explore/amani...
Btw, this video is NOT sponsored, all opinions are my own.
let's connect on social ✨:
instagram: / amanirakeia
tikTok: / amanirakeia
twitter: / amanirakeia
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camera: Sony ZV-1 & iPhone 13 Pro Max
editing software: Final Cut Pro X
music: Soundcloud & Epidemic Sounds
#livingalone #jazzmusic #motivation 
Хобби
I'm going to respond with what might be an unpopular take. As a single, 30-something-year-old woman, I hear you. It gets lonely and frustrating for sure. However, I would caution against further "experimentation" and focus on rest and an extended fast. Hear me out. In my 20's, my desires were seemingly more intense; but over time, I noticed that the more I reduced stress and prioritized rest, the less anxious I was over those desires and what to do with them. Adding extended fasts into the mix changed everything. That doesn't mean the desires went away. It just means I gained more self-control in this area and a more healthy view of my sexuality. My experience with "experimenting" left me feeling empty (mostly sad and depressed) because what I truly desired was companionship, and self-pleasure didn't give me that. Once I fasted, I was able to connect the dots and decided that "experimenting" wasn't right for me. The only time I ever thought about it was when I was stressed out, tired, or isolated; so my new response became rest - both physical rest (sleep, fasting) and active rest (going for walks, spending time in nature, etc.), plus engaging in more fulfilling outlets (serving others, pursuing passion projects, etc.). Just my thoughts.
THIS! I wanted to comment about this but wasn't sure how to put it. I think it's that way for most women but people keep saying it's normal, it's normal, it's normal but honestly it leaves you feeling depressed and lonely. I hope she reads this because she's wants connection not just a big O and no amount of romanticizing it will change the low after the high. Your suggestions are great.
@@portiamoore163 I hope so, too. I said it because it's needed. Even if Amani (or anyone else reading) is unable to receive this message now, I trust and believe that she will someday 🙏🏾
thank you for your comment. i don't feel any feelings of anxiousness about these desires not being met. i've done plenty of fasts from both s*x and mas*ur*ating. when i am feeling in the mood to want to have a big o, from my personal experience, it's not because I am stressed, tired or isolated. believe it or not, since working out more consistently, those desires for big o's have actually skyrocketed. same when i was very consistent with pilates. bottom line, no matter how much one does their best to minimize stress and rest as much as they can there will always be some thought or desire for intimacy (non-inclusive of s*x).
this also leads me to how touch deprivation is a real thing. fulfilling my passion as a content creator, going to therapy and all these things shouldn't be a substitute for the natural feelings and desires we have as humans. i truly believe that they all should co-exist.
yes, fasts can be helpful and can be necessary, but i would caution to not define them as a fix all to curb/diminish the honest desires that one has. ❤️
@@AmaniRakeia both of you are right and i love this conversation. amazing
@@Daniisavibe Yes, that’s what I was thinking, both point of views are very accurate.💯✨
I mean it when I say, you’re such a light! In due time, you’ll literally be met with all that you desire sweet girl 💛
wowww, this means so much to me!! thank you so much!! 🥰💖
The bubble bath convo is definitely relatable. I love your channel because it’s made me feel like I’m not alone (single 30 year old living alone) and watching you romanticise your life encourages me the to the same for myself. You are doing great and I appreciate your vulnerability ❤
I fckn love this channel . The vibes n realness is so home feeling
I am going to be 53 this year and I love to follow you. You inspire me to be a better me and I wish more young women would learn to love their bodies and love themselves like you do.
I love when you touched on the obsession with “glowing up” on the internet. Not much is said on the deeper work. I’m also at this point where I don’t want casual sex but am dying to be touched, sometimes it seems unfair
I love your living alone diaries and almost all of your thoughts/feelings resonate with me deeply as a 30 yr old newly single girlie living alone. As a fellow Scorpio, I definitely understand digging deep into self love and self exploration and self pleasure. It’s almost like I can’t allow myself to get “there”. Thank you for bringing this conversation to the forefront because it definitely needs to be discussed. I wish you much success on your journey of finding out what that looks like for you! ❤️
I love these grown woman vlogs 🤍 every “big sis” needs a big sis and THESE are the talks that need to be had. Self love over everything.
29 here and single. I absolutely love and admire yours vulnerability to even talk about something this intimate but yet so real. I find myself still struggling with not enjoying it for my own pleasure but as something as a stress reliever or to put me to sleep. I also don’t look at your page as glorifying living alone and being single. But it has helped me become more comfortable with being alone and learning who I am than going back to past situations and finding the beauty of being alone until you find that one. Keep doing what you do girl. Will always support ❤
Always remember "God's Timing Is Perfect" that's what i hold onto.
I wish i had understood myself better in my 20's and 30's , but now 50 + with a new career i am enjoying these aspects of my life now. I applaud you in embracing your womanhood. God's timing is perfect even through our impatience, the lonely nights. Peace and Blessings to you Amani. Thank you for your channel.
Loved the bath time chat. I can definitely relate, as woman who is single & almost 40. Finally coming to this same conclusion that it ok to be single until the time comes when God places someone who deserves to experience you in that manner. Glad you were able to figure it out at a young age. Embrace your womanhood sis! Blessings to you!
Hey beautiful soul. I love your videos, so much.
Grant Park Farmers Market on Sundays is the place to be if you want high quality, locally grown, organic fruits and veggies. Many places put “farmers market” in the name of their business, but they’re not real farmers markets.
My partner calls my monthly cycle my “monthly renewal” and I love it. He says my uterus goes through a renewal every month, lol. My submission for the juice name is Renewal Juice 🤷🏾♀️.
I always appreciate your openness & vulnerability. You and I live COMPLETELY different lives, but I still relate to you on so many levels.
All you want is coming to you ❤. I wish you the best.
25 and living alone and single and myyyy goodness. I don't know if I love it or hate it. I love being able to do things for myself, take care of myself, feed myself and just eat and watch what I want when I want. However, sometimes I get into bed and I'm filled with this deep sadness that there's no one next to me and it just EATS at me until I pass out. I'm trying my best to embrace the season by hanging out with my girls, seeing family, taking up an online course, cooking for myself, joining home cell, and all the things and it feels great until it doesn't. IDK. I hope one day I can be 100% okay with being alone like the ladies in the comments.
I feel like this video needs a standing ovation! Beauuuuutiful work! You touched on so many things I couldn’t verbalize when I was in my 20s. ❤❤❤❤
Hi I’m a retired nurse and I’m living alone for the first time in 38 years and going into year 3 so the hardest part is over I’m just so happy and excited about living with my self and getting to know me I can do whatever whenever I want and it’s Amazing I’m glad to know I’m not alone ❤️🙏
When I tell you that I LOVE your vibe…I LOVE your vibe. Your ups and downs are so relatable. When you said, “ we got a juicer at the crib, at MI CASAAAAAA” I hollard. I don’t know if you see how dope you are. This, I would like the next guy that God has for you to see. There’s a reason why you are alone right now…I do believe that someone special is ONLY worthy of this dopeness. No mediocre guy deserves all of this!!
love the grown woman talk! girrrrl I’m 33 and when I tell you during ovulation that kitty be GROWLING and it started around when I was 30. it’s insane and amazing how you body just knows. And when it comes to the big O I rather use my hand than a toy so try it 🩷 love your vlogs per usual 😊
Hahahahahah I can’t with your comment ❤
I love that you are true to yourself & share that transparency. ❤
awww, thank you so much!! 🥰💖
@@AmaniRakeia you’re welcome Queen. Always remain true to yourself, embrace your mistakes they make you not break you. How do you know what to do if you don’t make them? We are all unique & our character is partially built on how we handle the mistakes we make, will make, have made. Blessings to you beautiful woman.
The silence!! Is what does it for me lol your vlogs are so refreshing and relatable, they definitely help. In my romancing on my own era right now and yes I feel “getting to know yourself” is perfectly normal! Casual sex just is not for me at all and I don’t like men try to make me feel bad for it 🤷🏾♀️ you not getting this cookie if your not sure about me and that’s on period
@ayannajoseph
I agree with you about casual sex. In addition to what you mentioned, for me my emotions get involved too. So nope!
@@michellematthews7040 We’re too much of lover girls for it 🤣🤣 so nope! I’ll pass
@@ayannajoseph we not gonna be out here having sex all casually and in my head I think you're my man and you're not. Lol
Ive been single for 10 years my ex and I broke up when I was 30. I’m currently 39 will be 40 in October.. it’s crazy to even say out loud but Ive single my entire 30s an entire decade. Not what I planned at all.. you couldn’t pay me to say it was going to turn out like this. Also, dealing with the realization that my 30s were my last chance at motherhood is tough. I had a plan. It did not work. Not settling is a lonely ass road. Looking forward to my 40s I just wanna get the hell out of my 30s👸🏾✌🏾
lol you sound like me except for wanting kids. It’s crazy how all those years just fly by .
@@tashahall1855 lol yeah it’s a fact😔
Not you at the Farmer’s Market in Forest Park that I’ve been going to since BEFORE you were born! 😂 It was lit back in the day. Glad you enjoyed it! 💖
Oh wow! i love to hear that!! there was such an influx of produce! i loved it!!
Single club 🙌🏾 I am 38 years old and single. I have those same feelings and after pleasuring myself I feel like I made it worse. I do crave Physical touch from a man but not just any man but a man that I Desire. Glad we can talk about it in the comments
I hear everything your saying and I've experienced those lonely feelings still from time to time, I'm single and almost 49 and it's still not easy for me to navigate still being single, I still want the comfort of a man okay 😂, but I'm in a city that I really don't care for and it's not easy for me, I feel it's harder because I'm older and nobody wants me, but I'm learning to follow God more and learning to take care of myself, it's not always easy for me to love me and I look in the mirror and see changes and things happening, and sometimes I feel like romance is not in the cards for me anymore because im not young, its really gets hard at times and im still learned how to navigate this life in this place with no friends or man, i just want you to know your not alone, and i know that when its time God will send you everything you need.🙏🏽❣️💜
thank you so much for sharing your story here with me!! i truly believe that what we deserve will reach us at the perfect time. i know all too well of the doubtful feelings and thinking you're running out of time. i pray that we both find peace with learning to live and explore life "in the meantime". we got this!! 💘
relatable comment. I feel like I'm aging out of the dating game
I’m about to be 25 and I live alone. I don’t think your videos promote singleness or loneliness but the current season of your life and I feel like many of us can really truly relate. So thank to for your vulnerability and just sharing the journey/ day to day❤️
Hey girlie!! Aside from with my alkaline journey, u inspired me to I joined the gym this weekend and ahhh I forgot how amazing it is. And yess these kitchen appliances be OD expensive! I brought my vitamin 2 years ago for $650 then dropped another $300 for my breville juicer. I damn near cried in broke for a year 😂 but best decision ever! My mama always said u either pay now or later. (Meaning u pay for healthy things now or u pay a doctor later) but either way u gonna pay. I always remember this.
I'm in my early 40s and all of this is very relatable. I'm a firm believer we have to know what we like from an organic perspective before we truly know what we desire from a partner. It's so interesting when I see women cringe and get embarrassed about this topic but are having sex. There is definitely a disconnect. Keep having honest discussions and just know you're not alone and who's meant for you is on their way. Just make sure you have healed the parts of your heart and mind needed to fully receive him. ❤
I am overjoyed to watch later this evening. You were missed❤️
When you finish making your bed and streaming the sheets. The shots and angles of your bedroom. I was like Go Armani!!! Your pictures go so well with your throws. Beautiful beautiful bedroom.
The red light and setting the time and mood for self love is a must! That entire segment was very well said.
You have to go to Dekalb's Farmers Market
Love your vlog diaries and you being open and honest!💕 we are rooting for you
Your channel portrays everything you stand for and I love that. I’m 25 and I’m on the same journey as you, your honesty is so refreshing
Thank you for your transparency ❤ and because your seeking you'll find especially knowing you're young...it will definitely unfold for you. Happy exploring!
Yes I can definitely relate. I just turned 52 last Tuesday. My Friday nights are kinda tough. I get lonely and wish I could have someone to unwind with. Romancing myself is awesome then Saturday morning comes and I say woman you got through the night. Thanks for the grown up convo.
I love it over here on your channel.
I love how open and real this vlog was❤
I’ve been looking for new black creators to watch. So glad I found your channel! Subscribed 🫶🏾
girl you really opened up and i love it because I am going through the same thing! I think it is amazing that you opened up because people are really afraid to be transparent over common things but it's understandable. Romance can be found everywhere! I also like to talk to my therapist about these things too!
It's your SoundCloud music picks for meeee 🫶🏾
Girl from the talking myself out of ordering American deli to listening to that exact D’Angelo song while I was cooking the other day love your vlogs! ❤ love watching your journey. Going to be living alone soon and you inspire me so much.
I’m sorry the flexing at 22:48 was everything lol it was so cute the WAY you flexed girl 🤣 I put your video on when I was getting ready, turned around n looked at my phone and saw that I fully giggled 😂😂🤎
i literally love that u listen to d'angelo 💕💕
I love your vlogs! So relaxing! 💚💚💚
I'm newly single at 41. I'll be 42 in August. I love your living alone series and everything about your channel. I understand where you are coming from regarding the masturbation.
I agree that these are conversations that are needed.
Bestieeeeee, THIS WAS THE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have no words 💋💋💋
heyyyy girlie 👋🏽 new subbie here! this is the second video i’ve watched of yours + all i can say is WOWWWW! can we be besties? lollll nah but this convo is def one of those big ones- especially one that i think we should have more with our homegirls and even the older generation of women. we’re always told to enjoy our single season.. but nobody tells us really HOW to outside of those solo dates and what not. i’m also a wellness content creator and find myself stuck A LOT when it comes to that topic. but, we’re finding our way 💕 with that “big o” convo- a BIG thing to remember is your breathing. what thoughts are you having? what judgements are you placing on yourself? what are your expectations? i think it’s important to discover that especially while abstaining because sometimes another person distracts us from the answers. also try switching up your toys. i watch cocktales and they are really open about these types of convos with women and it’s also pretty damn hilarious. anyways, i hope you find what works for you! this was a beautiful video and i’m looking forward to more relatable content 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
I started watching this last night, but my kids kept disturbing me. I'm watching it first thing before I start work 😂. Amani, you look really good. I am really encouraged to move my body more. ❤️
gawwwddd this was good!!!! I watch you all the time but never comment but i had to this time!! im 31 single and live alone and when you spoke on that silence in our apartments I wanted to hug you!!! thank you for this!!
I think that’s great that you spoke out was honest and yeah, it’s true I think, knowing your own body is important because who knows your own body better than you this was a great vlog ❤ thank you
The Nama juicer, I can’t wait to get that, it’s so perfect
Okayyyyy Amani! I love your transparency in this vlog. I agree that casual seggs is not the business. Learning your body is the best way to help you form a more intimate connection with yourself. Once your mate comes along he will see you in tune with your body. ❤
I love your nails, first thing I thought of was Motcha lol😅, and as far as taking care of your self, I never liked pleasuring myself, but I enjoy it being done to me. You are definitely ahead of your time with thoughts, and convos. Lastly loved the work out fits, especially the purple my fav color
💜💜, keep doing your thang. Love it.💜💜💯💯
Maturbation is normal to get to know your own body. It's a wonderful thing to experience. I am older woman who is single and had forgotten about my body. Getting in touch with myself again is nice. Loving yourself start 1st with yourself...
Well said.
It can also become an addiction
Do you have a recipe you can share for the baked chicken and broccoli? It looked super good coming out the oven. I need to be consistent like you lol.
22:00 purple is definitely your color!!! it givesss
I was smiling so much as the beginning of this video. I have no idea why lol. The energy was just right😁
I love my Nama juicer!! It is the absolute BEST INVESTMENT!! I had the J1 & now I have the J2…it is so worth it!
Nail tech ate those nails downnnnnnnn. Wow super good sis!
Literally fellttt you on the big O story and going to bed conversation. And omg sammmee with the ovulation mood symptoms. So crazy!
girrrrrrrrl, i'm like this can't be real!! lolll
Loving your nails! They are beautiful just like yourself!❤💐❤️
Oh I’m early today. Love that for me 😊
I’m already relaxed 1 minute in…❤
YASSSSSSSSS WITH THE NAILS 💅!!!!!!
I did not know about the Atlanta farmers market!! I've spent my life going to DeKalb or Buford Hwy, since I'm never willing to tussle with weekend market crowds. I can't wait for warmer weather and more opportunities -- my first spring in Atlanta in 14 years!
I have the Nama J2 also and worth every penny. I use spring water to top my juice off when I dont get a whole bottle so it doesnt oxidize.
hahaha! the juice should be called "spot" on! you said that full chest! Like, GlowGirl Spot On Juice or sumn lol... Love your energy!💗
Of your blogs I have watched, This one was the best. Have to admit there were a few that had me rolling my eyes, mostly bc at my age, some of your concerns seemed typical and lacking in maturity (I am more than twice your age) - felt like I wasn’t your target audience even though i feel young at heart. but this blog! Babeee! You proved age ain’t nothing but a number and we as females have a lot in common, no matter our age. Keep doing you, in the words of the great little brown Bevy Smith - IT GETS GREATER LATER! In the meantime, Enjoy your journey!
I love these nails more than the vday ones 😍
Manifest that dream relationship! You deserve it, girl. Xoxo
Your nails are gorgeous. She is a keeper.
I have the Nama 2 Juicer too. I love it; definitely worth the investment!
And what a treat you’ll be to the man that connects with your beautiful heart and soul. Hold on… bc he’s looking for you too! ✨
Hi Amanie, i love your videos so much 💖💖💖💖💖,have an nice night 💕
Love it! I do my hair, polish my toes, take a all in one shower, choose lingerie for the evening and slip on my long silk robe. I cook for myself something nice, pour wine & turn on my blues. I’ll find a movie, light a candle and get into my zone. I can honestly say I show and give myself love better than any other! always choose you! Love yourself and enjoy these moments , the journey is love! I’m on a fast (abstinence) so indeed one of these upcoming days I will pleasure self and shower self with looooovee and romance! ❤
Booty growing! I see you!! 👏🏾
Love, Love, Love the ENERGY in this vlog! I agree with you, cute gym sets only enhances the work out, and do!😉I Love Your Vlogs! Keep up the gym gains! Keep up the positive vibes! We love it here!!!
Thank you so much!! you're so so sweet! so happy you get it lol. a cute workout set will really take the workouts to another level! lol
Heyyy Amani
Happy Monday
So happy you posted 😊😊
Today's video was everything and so refreshing to watch 👏🏾👏🏾
We love you so so much ❤❤
Enjoy your week 🥰🥰
The Dekalb Farmers Market is literally the absolute best. Been going there since I was a child. My family loves it! 9:58
Oh I can relate to this..
Hey beautiful, sending you positive vibes this week 🍵💚
Awww girl I love you, love your vibe 😂😂 😅and yes me too I really love romance. #Livingaloneteam🙌
I feel you girl. I’m married x single (Those who know, know). I have to romanticize myself at times as well and I’ve learned self pleasure even before marriage. Like you, I do feel weird about things. Thank you for sharing your story and this should be discussed ❤❤
Another video yaaaayyyyy
You didn’t ask us,but… some ideas for our mature discussion. Put on the type of night clothing you would wear for someone else. Also maybe a fast from toys. The body gets conditioned to “finishing” a certain way.
Love the nails❤❤❤❤
thank you so much!! 🥰💖
Yes just in time while I relax a bit for I eat some breakfast ❤
Thank you for sharing. Stay blessed.
Very relatable vlog.
That last part so real 😂 if I can’t sleep 🌹then I’m knocked out. Im not anti toy but it don’t hit like a actual person 😩something about that connection with another body
Call it Red Light special
I love my nama J2 juicer. I make daily juices. Is the best!
Thanks for sharing yourself with us! 💞☺Would you mind telling me where you got your pink mug from?
Next time try the Dekalb Farmers Market, 3000 E Ponce de Leon Ave Decatur GA
I’m excited for your continued journey. One thought so much joy. many prayers& lasting peace. Your smile radiates through your growth. 🌸🧘🏾♀️🙌🏽. You deserve to treat yourself the juicer is just the beginning. Here’s a possibility a thought for the menstrual juice name: Don’t cramp my style!!
I’m new here. I’m only 10min in But can we get into the esthetics and the music choices 🤩 baby the soft tunes the jazz YES MAMM
Holy shit 6 yrs .. ur strong. Last yr was my first yr ever being single n i hatttttted it. Yes me time n loving on my self is great n peacful. But I only date peacful guys so it just adds to my peace . I love love n some one to do stuff with all the time then have me time.
This was a great video
thank you so much!! 🥰💖
Call it "My Flower Juice"
Let’s dig deep sis 💕
45:08 it might be beneficial to try to table the toy for an extended period of time and just using your hand. at one point I felt like I was killing the sensation with my toy so I stopped using it for months and after that it was nothing for me to finish quickly with just my hand.
36:55 I think people see living alone diaries as a celebration of doing life and while you happen to be living alone. The OGs of LAD blogs are partnered. It’s just a lense of one of happens to occupy their own space. You’re good. Keep it up. The man will come, and you may still be living alone, but now there is extra context to the story 😊