Things (Some) Autistic People Do: 15 Quirks You Didn't Know You Have
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- Опубликовано: 15 июн 2024
- In this video I’m sharing a compiled list of quirky autistic experiences from my shorts series: Things (Some) Autistic People Do. This is a generalized list and may not apply to all autistic people. It’s just a fun way to connect with the community! Scroll down for timestamps.👇
This list is not a diagnostic tool.
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⏰ TIMESTAMPS
Things SOME (not all) autistic people do 😜
(2:32) We like secret thumb holes in clothing (or we create our own).
(3:26) We don’t like being asked to identify our “favorite” anything… except maybe color.
(4:56) We speak in paragraphs rather than sentences.
(5:36) We are skeptical of marketing strategies.
(7:26) We have trouble navigating group conversations.
(9:09) We have very specific lighting preferences.
(9:52) We hate getting our hands sticky or messy or wet.
(11:07) We struggle with the specificity of language and interpret things literally.
(12:27) We ask a ton of questions.
(13:37) We experience the “stand there awkwardly phenomenon.”
(14:26) We are overwhelmed with the pain scale question.
(15:35) We have trouble understanding expectations.
(16:38) We tend to work with uneven productivity.
(18:18) We have covert stims.
(19:32) We are keenly aware of being “perceived” and it often makes us uncomfortable.
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DISCLAIMER: Taylor Heaton is not a licensed psychologist or specialist healthcare professional. Her services do not replace the care of psychologists or other healthcare professionals. Please note that Taylor can’t take any responsibility for the results of your actions, nor any harm or damage you suffer as a result of the use, or non-use of the information available through her website, RUclips Channel, or social media accounts. Please use judgment and conduct due diligence before taking any action or implementing any plan or practice suggested or recommended by Taylor Heaton or Mom on the Spectrum. Please note that Taylor doesn't make any guarantees about the results of the information you may apply from her website, RUclips channel, and/or social media accounts. Taylor shares educational and informational resources that are intended to help you succeed in navigating life as an autistic adult. You nevertheless need to know that your outcome will be the result of your own efforts, your particular situation, and innumerable other circumstances beyond Taylor's knowledge and control. Taylor is an Amazon affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from affiliate links. Taylor is a Flare affiliate and may receive commissions on qualifying purchases from Flare links.
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#latediagnosedautistic #momonthespectrum #autisticadult
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"We speak in paragraphs rather than sentences" hit hard. I always feel guilty afterward, but I'd rather say nothing than not fully express my thought. And I do very often just say nothing 😂 I also do the standing there awkwardly thing until I find a secluded corner to slink off to.
I'm really good at locating the coziest safest secluded corner. :)
This is killing me in my college classes lately! I'm taking subjects I'm interested in now so I'm having such a hard time keeping my writing short. I had to write less than a page for my assignment yesterday, ended up with 6 pages, and had to trim it down and could only get it down to 3 pages.
@@barubary4477 I did this a lot, particularly in high school! For one assignment we were supposed to write a 2 - 3 page short story, and mine ended up being 30 pages lol! Luckily my teachers indulged me and it ended up winning a regional writing competition❤
@@Books_on_the_Brain That's so cool! Thanks for sharing ☺️
@@barubary4477 You are a natural writer! Don't stop.
So "what's your favorite" thing has stumped me on password security questions. My favorite anything on any given day varies.
Right? And I’m worried I’ll forget bc how will I remember what state of mind I was in when I created the password? 🤔
Omg, I hate those questions. If I have a choice I never pick that as a security question because I’m certain I’ll have a different answer when asked again.
use a password manager, and never use real answers to those questions 🙂
@@RestlessMule: Yes, I HATE those questions! Like, what do they mean by "first pet"? The dog your parents had when you were born? The first pet that was acquired with you in mind, even if your parents still did most of the caring? The first pet you acquired as an independent adult? Or what if you are one of those unfortunates who comes from a no pets family?
And then there's the capitalisation in relation to security questions and abbreviations. If you initially state (for instance) that your favourite book is "Marley and me", the answer at some future date "Marley & Me" is going to fail.
Omg yes! Kinda related but deciding on a favorite something made me think of the struggles of coming up with a username/userID. It took me over 5 yrs to join Instagram because I couldn’t decide on a username. Finally I came up with one I really liked so now I’m on Instagram lol.
Always hated manipulation, and marketing is a form of manipulation.
YES!!!!
I sometimes enjoy doing a sarcastic commentary while watching TV adverts 😁
I share Bill Hicks’ view of marketing :)
I can watch those few ads that are more of the informative type and actually tell details about the product. Without hyping and "feel-good".
When I tell my husband how I managed a tense situation online and that I feel bad for manipulating the other person he goes: "That's literally just social skills." and it makes me feel so awful.
Asking me to choose a favorite thing is actually asking me to go on a long-winded sharing spree where I show you everything I love in the category of stuff that you asked about. There is no other option lmao
Yes! I don't have "one" favorite of anything. That question is just a prompt for my brain to go explore the topic!
I could not pick a fav anything. It depends on everything.
Hahaha same. And favorites in different sub-categories like „local food my grandma makes“, „sweets“, „favorite pizzas“ etc. I mean how is one supposed to name one favorite dish/food?!?!?😂
I don’t have favorite anything either
"Well, that is a very complicated question that needs context, also, I tend not to remember the names of songs since I listen to albums from start to finish. Often artists arrange the songs in a specific order so that one track leads into the next track so that the listening experience is a bit like a journey or a story, but lately I've been listening to.."
8) I once overheard a boss telling a new manager, about me, "If you tell him to do something, he'll do _exactly_ what you told him to do."
No one recognizes my disabilities until I follow directions exactly as I am told.
I had this happen to me yesterday at work, my manager waved at a pallet and told me to fix this dairy. So I started putting it all onto a trolley and after a few mins he asked me.. what are you doing? I told him and then he said that’s not right, turns out not all the boxes were for dairy. I was thinking if they aren’t all dairy, why would you tell me that they are? So I let him say random stuff down to me about not reading the boxes and other stuff. I just kept my mouth shut, if I wasn’t interested to hold this job for a while, I would’ve probably just left that job straight away when that happened, it was really frustrating.
@@jamiematthews6089 Strength
Well, duh.. what I would say to them.
That's hilarious. Working for a labor company when I would get on a job, I'd say, "Tell me EXACTLY what you need."❤
Omg, the amount of time I spend standing around awkwardly is astounding!
And you know it so now you have to make sure you have a smile on your face and pretend you are fine
On describing pain: I've learned that quantifying pain in terms of impacts on me or others works well to help healthcare workers understand my pain. For example, "this pain prevents me from concentrating at work", or "this pain prevents me from relaxing and that keeps me from sleeping", or, "this pain is so hard to manage that it's affecting my personal relationships because I don't have patience to deal with the everyday demands of life."
(Advice I received and it has worked so much better for me!)
(Edit: spelling)
This is great!
Most useful to me. Thanks!
yes... i will say things exactly like that.. they then respond with, "I need a number"
@@sharonolsen6579 it may be valuable to print out a copy of the Descriptive Pain Scale. It uses the sorts of descriptions I'm describing and associates them with a number.
If they want a number, my trick is: 0-4 low, 5-7 medium, 8-10 high and to always give the highest or second to highest number in each category. And you can go through examples of pain in each category with friends pre-emptively to gauge where one would typically land. This will sound like an extensive process to a neurotypical person but maybe someone here finds it helpful :) definitely should have known this as a kid/teenager when I described any type of pain as „it’s okay“ and then passed out once in the middle of the bathroom 😅🙈
Speak in paragraphs…So true!
“Someone asks what time it is, and I tell them how to build a watch”
All my life.
A million times YES
That's a hilarious visual lmao
"Uneven productivity" ... exactly! Never thought about it like that.
Same here and I want to touch everything too. =)
I wash the silverware and cups sit down for 5 mins then bowls and plates then sit then anything else going into a dishwasher. Start the dishwasher sit then the hand washed stuff
I have this problem too. I didn’t know there was a name for it.
This! I could never figure out why I am not consistent. It is either all in or I'm frozen and can't seem to do anything. Day in, day out, rinse and repeat.
I had to tell my bosses that before I figured out I was autistic. They never understood.
I don't have an issue with my hands being wet, but man oh man if my hands feel at all sticky I just cannot deal. Summer is so hard for me because it'll get humid and then my hands will feel tacky, and it drives me CRAZY!!! I wash my hands so much when there's any humidity
YYYEEESSS EXACTLY
Yes. Sticky, even one little spot, is unacceptable. Wet is OK. If it bugged me before, washing pots and pans for a living for a year or so acclimated me to to the idea.
sticky is horrible,
This is a big one for me, sticky or creamy. Not so much on the backs of my hands but on the "usable" palm parts. I have so much trouble with dry skin, because I just cringe putting on cream, suntan lotion, yikes. I hated chicken wings, until I discovered that you could order "dry" ones. BBQ spare ribs, no frickin' thank you, lol
@@kirstensmith9454 I always put lotion specifically on the backs of my hands in such a way as to minimize the amount that ends up on the front of my hands. I have to avoid my fingertips at all costs so that I can still touch things without feeling weird
Purple, specifically royal Indigo, has always been my favorite color. That’s very interesting and fun to know it’s true for other autistic adults too.
Ooh haven’t heart royal indigo yet. 💜
That's a gorgeous color
Me too. It has to be indigo, not reddish purple.
I love that colour too! 😮
I'd probably say that my favourite colour is blue, rather than purple, but it has to be an indigo-based blue, rather than Prussian. And then I look at my wool purchases and see how often purple and purplish-blues are in the mix.
And then there's the slightly purplish reds, making their way through maroon to eggplant (aubergine), preferably as dark as possible.
I'm realizing while watching this that I think that some of my social anxiety comes from /thinking/ responses in paragraphs, but knowing that a short answer is expected/acceptable, then panicking over trying to quickly edit down my paragraph to a few words.
My brain has a lot of quick work to do before anything comes out of my mouth in most contexts (work, doctor's office, speaking to anyone other than my handful of "safe" people, really) and it's exhausting. The editing!
Same! And then I throw in lots of apologies for the length and breadth of my answer, and paratheticals trying to wrap it up
while continuing to talk!
Or sometimes I do a "quick" dump-and-run.
@@-shenanigans. too real. A couple weeks ago I was struggling to articulate my thoughts to my husband, and eventually what I told him was that it's like every sentence that I say has to go through a whole committee in my brain to be approved before it can come out of my mouth, and sometimes that process is so exhausting that I end up not saying anything. (Or, in my metaphor, "the committee vetos it/can't come to a conclusion")
Feels impossible to do this. So much going on in our active brains.
Omg 🤯 thanks for putting this into words! I have resorted to just shutting down rather than deal with the worry or disappointment of not getting my true thoughts out, but I didn’t know why. Thank you.
Specificity of language is one that is really challenging for me. My mother uses really indirect fluffy language when she wants something and I have no idea what she wants from me, I have repeatedly asked her to be specific but she just can’t wont do it. I remember when I was a kid she would say “would you like to go and do (fill in the blank)” my reply would be “well I don’t want to, but do you want me to? “
OMG, me too. Fuzzy thinking equals fuzzy language.
I hate it as well. If I am asking for clarification and they are refusing to elucidate, what I’ve just begun doing is repeating their words to them while doing what I interpret them to mean. I find that people only accommodate my speech needs once it negatively affects them. The frustration usually makes them clarify by the 2nd-4th instance of me doing this.
I have annoyed so many people both family and friends who have asked, "Would you like to...?" As a request, and I've blandly answered, "No."
It took me years and decades to realize this.
@@polari7658 I've also had push back when asking for clarification. They think I am "doing it on purpose to irritate them (aside: most people should try the "this is not about me, this is about that person asking something of me" more). I get rebukes, sighs frustration as a response. Admittedly, I also suggest the more accurate word, when someone used the wrong word. Aren't we all trying to be better? Maybe...
Also, I like your choice of words. Not enough people use words like elucidate, but it is so perfect here. I've been given a thumbs up online for using "recalcitrant" a long time ago. I thought "well, it is the right word, and avoids one of those long explanations no one likes". ;)
@@eleonorelee267, I’m just so direct as a person. I really will say things in person like “I’m not going to pretend to understand what you meant by that.” And “Elaborate on that.” I think people respond negatively to uncertain energies. They won’t get annoyed if you don’t give them the space to be annoyed. I treat them like they’re being unreasonable, put their behavior into perspective, etc. That works for me. It may have a different result if you don’t look like me though as biased likely play a role in my effectiveness.
My granddaughter complained I made her friends feel uncomfortable. Mind you these are grown, college educated men and women in the 20s. Granted I’m in my 60s, but as a nurse I worked with patients and coworkers of all ages. I was used to asking the questions of any age and gender. A couple of years later, I figured out that I’m autistic and ADHD. But still these people are so emotionally fragile!
It's gotten a lot worse now! Being a Gen Xennial we were never liked that
Yes. People need to stop assuming everything is about them. How is it hard to understand that you are looking for clarity.
1) I overthink EVERY SINGLE QUESTION I’m asked. Choosing one short concise answer is virtually impossible for me. Context is extremely important, because the answer will be imprecise or just plain incorrect without all the details.
2) My favorite color is that blue that is so deep it’s almost purple. Cobalt blue I think they call it. However I really enjoy sunshine yellow. The two together in a design? (Chef’s kiss)
YES
Indeed🎉🎉🎉
Yes sunshine yellow, it makes me happy and summery. Blue/green. Autumn sky blue, turquoise blue, shadow snow blue, bluey green grass.
lol ... i always need context ... favorite color for what? flowers ? clothes? living room furniture ? a sunset ? etc... the answers are different .. plus i am an artist ... ALL THE COLORS .. lol .... but ... if pressed... i choose ,,PURPLE !! LOL it's crazy !
@@sharonolsen6579 This! My favourite colour for clothing I'd wear isn't just one, lol, but I can narrow it down to a few. But my favourite colour(s) to decorate a room - different. My favourite colour(s) in what?
Do you choose where the ads go? That was perfect. “We hate being sold to…” [ad plays] **slams “skip” button in solidarity.
😆🤣😂
The marketing thing gets to me, too. Ask me to do anything, and if it’s within reason, I will likely do it. Tell me I HAVE to do something, or else-nope. Not gonna happen. The speaking in paragraphs, yep, that’s me!
Before realising that I may be autustic, I would often tell myself not to say anything as i felt this was better than either saying the wrong thing unintentionally or not making sense and saying too much or finding it difficult to know when to talk.
That's me exactly.
I never realized how overstimulating getting my hands wet was before I heard you mention it. 37 years not realizing that's such a major factor of my hatred for doing the dishes lol. I'm also laughing about "we strongly advise you attend this meeting" sounding like an option. I strongly advise you make it mandatory, or else I ain't going. Regarding specific language, once I had recently arrived at a small house party, so already feeling pretty autistic, and walked into the living room while holding my about six month old son. "Do you need help holding your baby?" I am immediately asked by a woman that I've never seen before stepping directly in front me, who apparently had been talking to my wife before I got there. "No" I calmly replied. ".... oh," she says with a look of dejected shock on her face. We stare at each other for about five seconds before my wife laughingly says, "I think she wanted to hold the baby!" Well that's not what she asked!
You are literal-minded. I would have responded just like you did. lol
Lol yes I'd be thinking "am I holding my own baby wrong?" and I'd probably spend hours / days/ weeks worrying that people think I'm doing it wrong 😂
I would have responded the same way... However I'd probably wouldn't catch that she's dejected. 😅 I cannot wrap my head around the logic of asking to hold the baby in such a complicated way.... Like why not just ask: "can I please hold the baby?" 🤔🤷🏻♀️
That’s hilarious. Now I’m wondering how many times I inadvertently turned down inexact requests to hold my kids when they were babies😂 Also me always wondering why other moms (especially but some dads or childless friends too) always wanted to hold each other’s babies. I’m like, I’ve got this one, I’m good. Yours is an unknown quantity to me. 🙃
I would have said the same 😂
When you talked about standing around awkwardly, that really struck me. I can’t tell you how many times I have stood around awkwardly while other people are apparently engaged in some way. At a recent event, another person at the event said to me “you look lost”. That was awkward to have somebody’s else say that to me, but it captured how I felt.
I can so relate. For me it is like I am always looking through a window, watching everyone else seeming to “get it” and I am just utterly lost
@@k.s.826And having a (though undiagnosed) processing issue, I grab only bits of several conversations and can’t really connect with one…? Broken filter?
At a job interview, the interviewer asked a one-word question: "Education?" Where do I start? Overwhelmed!
Whaaaa?! 🤨
They want your highest level of education. Like, did you graduate high school? Do you have a BA/BS? A Masters?
OMG! I had something similar happen to me. I was helping lead a youth service trip and we were driving home, coming from Canada into the U.S. At the border crossing, the border guard said almost nothing and then said, “Citizen?” I was so nervous because we had been prepped that crossing the border back into the U.S. can be tricky, and I had a car full of teenagers that I was responsible for. I had no idea what this guy was asking, so I said, “Yes?” By the look on his face I knew right away that that was not the right answer. He got so annoyed and said, “What country are you citizens of?” Like, why couldn’t he have just asked that to begin with? Why are people out here asking one word questions in make or break situations?
They should just ask job training? Because if anybody were honest, that’s what they attemp to pass off as “education”.
I'd probably have said: Yes! (I have had one.)
14:09 "Standing there awkwardly" 🙋♀
🙋🏼♂️
Me too. All the time.
Meeting a doctor recently for my "not-yet-diagnosed" son. She asked, do I wonder if my son might be autistic and my answer was no. I saw her flinch but left it there. Only later in the conversation did we both realize that my answer meant "I have no doubt that my son is on the spectrum so I do not wonder anymore" but she heard "I am sure he is not"...
Maybe that tells more about me than about my son !
Exactly! You wee answering the question that was asked! Not 😮assuming what they actually meant.
@@stormyjlb I dunno, sounds like an excuse to avoid the subject to me. I know autistic people use this to avoid problems. Misunderstand everyone and then blame others.
Typical imvho!- excuse not to do chores was how my brothers used it.
My favorite color is blue. And I am brand name resistant, especially things with visible logos..
Uneven productivity- I worked an overnight event on Friday. I worked an afternoon event on Saturday with little sleep in between. Today is Sunday and I've slept and avoided contact with everyone as much as possible
sometimes I work extra hours because I fear the day when I feel really bad and will have very little done. and I know that day will come. me feeling good is rare.
I often find natural light overwhelming, especially on sunny days. I prefer rainy days and shorter day lengths.
Natural light is overwhelming for me too. I prefer cloudy, rainy days, but I live in the desert right now and the sun is tortuous. Thankfully, I am moving soon to a better climate.
Yes!!
Someone asked me to stand up for them, so I stood up... but turns out they meant for me to support their side of the argument. Or being shocked when someone exaggerates because I am taking what they say literally.
One of my nephews was hit by a car when he was 7 or so. At the hospital, my sister let them know he was autistic and very literal-minded. The doctor asked him: "Can you balance on one foot?" So Jake spread his arms and stepped onto one of the doctor's feet and balanced there. The doctor was *stunned*.
I hate the 'what's your favourite" question because my brain responds by trying to remember all things I've ever encountered and how I would rank them and it's way too much. One way I found of getting around it is realising that what the other wants to know is just an example of some thing you like, it doesn't have to be your number one. I now try to give the first thing I remember that I like a lot and try to end the remembering/ranking in my head there.
Or for the standard questions of "what's your favourite movie" and such I have thought about it beforehand and try to memorise what I had decided was a good enough choice for it.
I also found all other quirks in this video relateable, always feels good to be seen!
Mmm, the whole purple, indigo, teal thing ❤
Teal! I love it❤ and turquoise…😍
Purple
Pool water turquoise
Mint
❤
I just painted my bedroom Jamaican aqua ❤
Suggested donation!!! This is a real pet peeve. This seems so disingenuous when they say it's optional but secretly it's NOT. (Especially when you are really tight on funds.) BE HONEST people.
My attitude: you *said* suggested so this is your problem. Try being more specific next time, mwahaha ;)
My favorite color is purple! 😆 💜 Yes, I always give wayyy too much context!
My son takes ages to get to his point he has to tell us everything before he says an answer. It frustrates me sooooo much but I have to laugh because I am the exact same!🤣
😊 I am an over sharer and my daughter is one who repeats the same thing 10-20 times before I get to respond... It's so frustrating because I have so much more to say! 😂.
Im really comforted to hear these things. They all resonate with me. I got my professional autism diagnosis yesterday, and I'd only been considering ASD as a possibility for maybe a month. All I knew is that I was not, and never felt, "normal" in so many ways. This led to a lifetime of failures, anxiety, depression, diagnoses and medications. I'm having a particularly rough day today. I keep thinking "I am a 52 year old stranger to myself", and that is really scary. I need to start from square one in order to figure out the real me. So I just want to thank you for sharing this information and realizing there's a huge community of us that I never knew existed that I can turn to. 🙏
I’m so glad you’re part of the community!
You have described my thoughts and feelings perfectly! I've not been told by a doctor that I'm autistic but I believe I am. The Doctor says I have ADHD, and I knew that. But he says I'm not carrying a doll or toy around, and named off some other things I don't do. So he said I'm not autistic. I don't agree with that.
@@godsgal4life Until awareness and education gain more momentum among professional mental health practitioners, it looks like it has to start with us. As painful and frustrating and confusing as life has been thus far, then having to take another huge leap of faith with another place, I had to do it. I went to one of the specialists on MOTS recommended list. Realizing that getting a formal diagnosis may not be needed, desired, or even in the budget (🫤) for everyone, I felt I had to do it. Also, for your doc to dismiss your suspicion for those reasons you stated seems so absurd! Only you can know you and what your experience has been. No one can tell you otherwise. I spent a few hours listening to Taylor's DSM-5 criteria video (pausing, taking notes) until I felt I had a decent grip on it. Then, spent lots of time in the archives of my brain trying to recall as much relevance as I could. I knew too, even before getting diagnosed.
2 and a half years on from my diagnosis at 55 i'm starting to realy like my, still somewhat odd to myself, 'new' self (which is an amazing new feeling too). It's really hard at the start when people outside our community don't get that when I say to be diagnosed is to have your WHOLE life and self identity uttlerly transformed I mean it literally. It's like the rug of your WHOLE life and self pulled from under your feet. That feeling of not having a clue who you are is extreme and scary, and lots of anger and grieving can happen along the way of learning and accepting etc. But it's so so brilliant when you start to realise that that 'stranger' is actually reallly well known to you - it is you! It's just been hidden and hiding for years......and it'll be so great to have her out!!
I'm two years out from my ADHD Dx at 60 and strongly lean toward AuDHD even though I was told it was"highly unlikely" because I can make eye contact (hint: I learned to look at people's mouths instead of their eyes, or other parts of their faces). I liken it to going through adolescence again. Who am I? What do I want to be when I "grow up?"
But I think my reaction is different than most. I haven't really had a grieving period. Just a HUGE sense of relief and a REASON for how my life has been (it has been a series of huge peaks and deep valleys - never married, serial job failure after extreme success - usually chosen to be on a large project perfect for hyperfocus, but then fail when I'm expected to manage multiple projects when that ones complete). I don't CHOOSE to be "this way".
I'm too loud, too intense, too everything. And now I have an explanation as to why my brain was never able to change into the neurotypical patterns.
Please do more unedited content. I feel so much more comfortable seeing that you also struggle sometimes, rather than always seeming to have the ability to talk clearly and seamlessly. I love being able to see YT creators looking and acting more like how I feel.
Also Blue, blue/purple, blue/green. I would tell my kids I had seen a awesome car, they would reply with "was it blue?"
Hate any sort of marketing, love thumbs holes (but I'm Australian so not many long sleeves, and I also hate the feeling of things on my arms).
Haha paragraphs, not sentences. My psychologist says I'm a story teller. But seriously, how can I answer your question without giving you the complete history of how I came to that opinion.
OMG stretching toes. I recall watching my sister giving the eulogy at my dads funeral last year, and she stood there and spoke so well, but all I could concentrate on was the fact that her toes were still the whole time she spoke. I don't think I knew it was possible to have still toes in a stressful situation.
Sorry for the overshare, but sometimes I just feel isolated sometimes.
FYI diagnosed with ADHD last year at 54, have my official ASD diagnosis next week, although my current health care providers are in agreement, I can't help but feel overwhelmed/judged.
I also love the unedited content. The edited content overwhelms me & sadly most content providers edit heavily. Unedited content makes this channel more accessible than other channels & helps you stand out from the crowd. Thanks for that! ❤
Omgosh! I am 54 and learned im Autistic adhd this year! I don't edit my vids anymore 🤓
@@SunnySunshineField💚💚💚
What, most people do NOT experience life like this? I take how hard it is for me to consider an alternative way of being as a gentle reminder to be patient with those who simply cannot fathom the autistic experience. Always appreciate a bit of unfiltered/unedited/bloopers reel, as it allows me to realise that yes, all you seemingly functional youtubers are masking your asses off to get the job done. NOT criticising, I could never do this job - but having just a glimpse of what's going on behind the scenes makes you so much more relatable.
My thoughts very much.I assumed everyone did/felt like this. I think that in some ways, autistic people are more understanding of individuals' differences and difficulties. I think partially due to our own issues and difficulties, and partially because many of us are hypervigilant and hyper analytical, so we take a moment before bludgeoning people with nefarious opinions. I love raw honesty, I prefer it over all other modes of being. I appreciate your accepting attitude.
I still can't believe that all these autistic experiences are not everyone's experience! I feel it's some kind of prank)
Most of my life I was intensely inquisitive, immediately perceived tons of unexplained, unspecified aspects gaping in requests or general instructions, (right down to the most basic "WHY" of the whole thing to begin with), so that I was consumed with both confusion and a need for clarity before I could with even the least confidence try to comply. BUT, I was always crushingly, mortifyingly embarrassed even to begin voicing the questions since, if SO MUCH was being left out, which really did defy comprehension (HOW could you rationally leave so much out?!), it was probably not the other person's failure to explain (especially if it seemed that others understood) but...my...stupidity. So I stuffed it. And proceeded to stumble into whatever the task, activity or project was while harboring a desperate, panicked "lostness" inside about the raison d'etre of the matter (compounding the feeling of stupidity). And whaddya know: more often than not it turned out that everything I was scrambling to understand turned out to be at the heart of the matter and, precisely because it HADN'T been well-conceived and laid out, it didn't work. Now, in the autumn of my life, I have shucked caring whether my questions annoy anybody, and I don't care who thinks I'm stupid. I'll ask. That's all. I'll just ask. Call it Ken's "special need" if you want, but if I'm not allowed to ask, then count me out, I have plenty of other stuff I can very happily do.
Yes yes yes! And that ability to understand that there IS an underlying complexity has led to my biggest job successes and disproportionately MORE job failures.
I made a new friend a few years ago. She would tell me stories about her family (which were very complex) and I would frequently ask her questions in the middle of her story and she would actually get angry with me. I explained that I needed that context to understand and follow the story. Otherwise my brain would be fixated on that unanswered question and I'd likely miss most of the rest of the story.
And yes to just asking now. Most of the time.
Good on you, Ken. Screw those people.
For me it depends. I do it for context, but other people do it to me because they’d rather hear me vocalize the irrelevant details than hear my point and that’s annoying.
Pain is difficult to judge , because it's based on perception.
For example , like getting stabbed , dull things hurt more than sharp things.
As someone with chronic pain, YES. It's SO hard to qualify.
That’s funny about the favorite color thing because I actually have a hard time deciding on one favorite color. Even as a child, I felt I was required to choose a favorite color, so I chose yellow, but then I never wanted things in yellow, like clothes etc. 😂 It felt like I was assigned a favorite color, but I ended up gravitating towards blues and greens later on. I don’t like choosing a favorite forever.
I haven't officially been diagnosed as autistic, however, almost every single video I watch and almost every quirk is 100% true. I've always felt out of sort, always been criticized about things I do or say. Thank you for sharing and bringing awareness on this, I really appreciate it!
Marketing strategy suspicion is strong! Can smell a MLM a mile away.
And second comment…being perceived…I am sooooo grateful to have a term for this! My whole life I have felt this way…not 24/7 but maybe 21/6 😂. It colors my entire existence. There’s a line in a Jane Austen story about one of her characters-Fanny Price-that encapsulates this perfectly…and I’m going to butcher it so forgive me. Another character says of Fanny Price that she has as much a fear of being observed as other women have of being ignored (gender called out in the original but it def can apply to all people). In this case I am Fanny Price!!!!
Nice connection! 😎
I got diagnosed with anxiety and depression in college because of this problem. I always felt like people were talking about me or laughing at me, especially when I was in the cafeteria. It's gotten a lot better since then, but I still have times where I feel very self-conscious.
I’ve always liked the idea of having a thumb hole when I’m relaxing & being cozy, but I’m also someone who needs my sleeves up & away from what I’m doing with my hands, so it rarely works out for me 😂
Every one of these ‘quirks’ are accurate for me! Also I completely shut down when I’m in the middle of doing something like mom duties and someone asks me a question or speaks to me, it makes my head explode so then I can’t carry on with what I was doing 😅
Yeppppp I get it
The jump rope analogy is EVERYTHING. All of these are so relatable. I wish everyone else “got it.” 😭😆
I had a habit as a kid of using my cheeks to trap air between gums and cheeks, then forcing air out to make duck sounds. It was a kind of stim that would upset others. I liked doing it because it felt good. Pretty sure this transitioned to finger tapping which is quieter.
As far as my favorite. I prefer to explain why I like something so I have lots of favorites. And I have no idea about talking in paragraphs (joking).
And yes I hate the feeling of being manipulated which I equate to marketing.
I love making sounds with my mouth. I feels great.
The "duck sound" thing, did the urge to do it just sorta come over you and when it started did you have a hard time stopping? Did it almost happen without you wanting it to? I ask because I did something very similar when I was younger and it was embarrassing to me especially when it happened in class around other people my age. So I haven't done it in many years and I have often wondered why I did it etc. I also relate to basically everything else said in the video.... the only thing that I don't do is that thumb thing, I don't make my own thumb hole but I do enjoy clothes that already have one....
I try to make mine sound not like ducks, but wet farts :)
@@Engineer1897 LoL 😂 I love it!
Wait there's no wayyy
I did the exact same thing omggg
You know as an autistic person (and as a human being in general) I know a lot of us have the same experiences and stuff. But man, not even making duck sounds with the air you trapped in your cheeks is a personal one? Nah I'm out ☠️
and my favorite color is purple, always purple
On language: I will never forget as a child, I would have our McDonald's order in my lap on the way home and my mom would say "Hand me a couple fries," and I would hand her 2 fries every time and it drove her nuts 😂.
Omg I do that all the time 😂
#9-ask a lot of questions…yes! and it can be perceived of as criticism…this and I totally didn’t know it!!!!! Literally had this come home to me about a week ago. BFF and I were talking about work thing she was going through and I was asking a lot of questions to understand the parameters of the issue. I wanted to give her good support and advice if she wanted it. Later in the same conversation she told me she thought I was criticizing her. We’ve known each for many many years and I had NO IDEA this was how I was coming across to her!!!! OMG!!!! The especially frustrating part is that I think I’m doing a good and helpful thing and evidently it’s being perceived as a mean and critical thing. Breaks my heart…for both me and her! I will say that I’m glad she finally mentioned it to me so we can hopefully be aware going forward.
Wow! So interesting to become aware of our patterns, isn't it?
I used to do this in school a lot to get my thoughts around what I’m supposed to be doing. I would summarise what I heard in my own words and wait for confirmation or if it’s not quite correct from the teacher.
I ask way too many questions too. I have found it helps when the other person knows that is just how I operate.
Thank you so much for sharing this! I deal with that exact issue
Hugest YES to number 15. That sense of being open, exposed territory under a kind of scrutiny or suspicion that can't be quite named or placed. It must have a lot to do with Imposter Syndrome, plus of course the intrinsic difficulty navigting the impenetrable social script, dance, consciousness, call it what you will. It's agonizing.
Demand avoidance with advertising is spot on! I don't like that they are trying to make you feel a certain way. Another aspect that bothers me about it is how they do it - the amount of commercials I see where a fun time (being out with friends, alcohol commercials are terrible for it) is being manufactured around a product, it feels so fake and put on.
Also speaking in paragraphs ^^^
👏 😆 💯
You're right about advertisements trying to suggest that the product will make you deliriously happy. There's a recent "Hello Fresh" ad (at least in Australia) that has the woman grinning like a maniac at a box of food she's still going to have to prepare and cook - or store in the refrigerator. It really grinds my gears and rubs me up the wrong way.
Also, "Hello Fresh" treats their workers very badly, I think some people have said that it's not as bad working for Amazon as Hello Fresh, so they're not going to get my money until they treat their workers properly - and stop making such annoying advertisements.
Pain scale:
I used to struggle with this too, until I JUST SO HAPPENED to come across a pain scale poster that described each point on the scale from 0 to 10. I stared at it for almost 20+ minutes in a desperate attempt to burn that into my brain. I don't remember much of the stuff in between, but I understood much better what doctors are asking/looking for in a response. I don't remember everything EXACTLY, but the concept has stuck with me enough that I can fry my brain about other things not nearly as important (and time sensitive).
0: No pain, numbness, or abnormal sensations. Happy and healthy.
1: small *persistent* pain, numbness, or itching. Does not impede work or daily tasks, but mildly annoying.
4: Moderate pain/numbness/itching. Can push through tasks, but with much discomfort. May mildly impede speed and/or effectiveness in work or daily tasks.
6: Cannot work or accomplish daily tasks due to pain. Motor skills in the affected area flares the pain to the point self-care (bathing, walking, sitting, laying) hurts, but is not impossible with great effort.
9: Screaming unintelligibly due to pain, inconsolable, can't focus on anything but the excrutiating pain. Cannot move or be moved without external assistance
10: Pain-induced unconsciousness. Going into shock. Cannot stay conscious due to the pain; going in and out of consciousness.
I wish I knew the actual poster so I could post it here. If someone knows what I'm talking about, feel free to post in the replies, or as a fresh comment so more can see! ❤
😂 I did that too!!
I came here to mention the pain chart, too.
Found the poster/chart, but I can't figure out how to post it in my reply. Oh, well.
Purple is my favorite color too! I also love green, but purple has always been #1.
Thank you, thank you, Taylor. I've just recently discovered that I may be an autistic adult female. I'm 69 years old and now know what all my lifelong quirks equate to . . . I'm autistic! This video really hit home for me--I've experienced each and every scenario you mentioned. One of the irritating questions I've learned to circumvent is the "What's your favorite _____?" My answer to that one is always "Well, right NOW, my favorite ______ is _____, but that can always change . . ." That's one of the irritating questions off my list. lol Will continue watching your YT channel--it's so helpful.
Loved the jump rope analogy. This applies to every social interaction I have in my life.
Purple for most of my life but green is vying for first place lately 😊 I feel I've spent my life confused but recently am coming to terms with things more, so maybe that's why green is calming me better these days. Forests are so calming 💚
As someone who is AuDHD I am definitely an impulse buyer but i also won't buy something if I can't think of a need/use for it right away..
Standing there awkwardly, for me this is when I watch everything. Asking detailed questions is helpful in some professions. I am someone who needs to fully understand. Growing up I heard the word “shut up you ask too many questions “ all of the time.
A particular example of struggling with language specificity and literal understanding of language for me is when roommates say something along the lines of "this place is such a mess" or "the dishwasher cycle is done." I'm always like "I know right" or "andddd whats your point.. what are you trying to say" because to me.. I understand this just as a statement of observation that they're sharing with me maybe just as small talk, or maybe even just to vent. It's so frustrating because then their impression of me is that im being a sarcastic jerk when in reality, I have no idea that what they are ACTUALLY "trying to say" is "can you tidy the place up" or "I'd like for you to empty the dishwasher."
Yes! Great examples.
you obviously DO KNOW
I would say you're being a sarcastic jerk take two minutes to think why don't ypu??? You don't have to be a detective to figure it out
@@Foxsuper1 ahh yes. i can see why you'd think that the examples I used in my comment WERE things that I "obviously DO KNOW." The examples i used for my comment were just generalizations that I HAVE experienced that, at the time, i actually did NOT know/understand what was meant.. but is NOW something i DO know/understand (only because my roommate and i had actually gotten into a verbal altercation about it that had escalated, and by the grace of God, was able to come to a common ground of understanding of "ohhhh thats what the other meant/understood").
Nonetheless, THIS is where the same kind of "struggle with language specificity and literal understanding of language" can more commonly "show up" for those on the spectrum. After those "tiffs" I had with my roommate.. THIS is what I came to understand: whenever someone 'complains' about something.. what they are actually meaning is that they want a solution.
SO.. a couple months down the road, my roommate would come home and "complain" about work, but would then lead it into also "complaining" about the house.. and my autistic brain would immediately be like "oh!! they WANT a solution to all this!!" so THEN I would be like "have you said this to your boss yet? maybe if you said it like this.. your boss would be receptive because I agree, what youre experiencing at work isnt fair!" and then would be like "what if we made a schedule for the chores that need to get done around the place.. that way, the dishwasher... etc. etc." thinking that that was what my roommate was seeking.. but what i would get met with was an even more upset roommate saying things like "WHY cant i just b*tch to you?? you dont always have to solve things! sometimes i just want to vent without you needing to FIX everything!" and again.. i would be left feeling confused and frustrated because the impression of me would AGAIN be that im being a sarcastic jerk that is NOW also insensitive because I didnt let me roomate simply "vent" ☹
THAT'S what i meant by "struggling with language specificity and literal understanding of language" 😔
i suppose this could all also fall under one of Tay's other points of "having difficultly in understanding other people's expectations of me" 🤷♀ which leads to having a hard time with social communication because expectations are essentially communicated thru "social norms.." BUT i understand communication literally.... so.. yeah 😅
Absolutely makes me crazy when someone interjects while I am talking. I need to finish before I can move on.
Love this segment. All of this ... including Toe scrunching, which I do nonstop. Thanks Taylor!
You’re welcome! I’m glad you’re enjoying it 😁
Same. I don't think I could stop if I wanted to...
My current go to for months is left/right big toe, currently hands on for at least a week and then my RUclips finally admits (shows me these) ah, why yes spy program that apparently knows which books people in the library have been reading, I'm beyond late to this even though my constant internal purpose has been to find the list of truths (apparently for this community. I'm currently inspired by spirit of prophecy /revelation / commandments
I’m big into the ambient light. When I’m home, I draw the blinds and use old timey bulbs for warming, low yellow light everywhere. I used to have a Berenstein Bears lunch box with the fam sitting in around the dinner table and I always wanted to be a part of that. LOL ❤
Omg.. I just love this comment ❤😊
The one about standing awkwardly in a room was so helpful, when I attended a social event yesterday. This awareness helped me stand awkwardly, without feeling emotional painful about it, as if I was bad or wrong for sticking out that way. Gracious hosts were welcoming regardless. It was a lovely time. Today, I rest!
Sounds like we're better than everyone else. More kind and sincere. Trustworthiness
I spent an hour at a store today staring at all of the purple flowers.
💟
No to thumb holes, but 100% cotton is a must.
Yes, fabric type is super important to me too.
Try 100% merino wool. Sweat doesn’t pool. Synthetics make my sweat stay on my skin and the fabric sticks to me. Merino wool doesn’t stick. Cotton can get saturated and stick to your skin too.
@@lisaphares2286 allergies to wool, angora, ...(and everything, animal, bird, etc.) 😕
Any natural fabric except raw, cheap silk. The texture is off-putting as is the smell.
SOFT CLOTHING WITH NO TAGS! Otherwise, I won't wear it. At all.
I do the "paragraph over sentences" when writing as well. I am the queen of parenthetical statements (to explain - 😅 see...here I am doing it - and I wasn't even considering it when I put the open parenthesis). 🙃In one card I wrote, the parenthetical statement was so long that I word counted it - 27 words. Succinctness is not my gift. I want to be sure I'm understood...so I overdo it...even when writing.
The idea of being perceived, i resonate with all of the things that you said about it! To add my experience with it, it also causes me to be EXTREMELY late or causes me to begin getting ready to go somewhere much earlier than "normal" people. I try to find clothes that fit the occasion and won't be judged or cause others to talk about them. I have to do my make-up as flawless as possible (which never works out bc I'm so anxious about it). My hair has to be done, jewelry, perfume... you name it! I do this when i have to go somewhere AND if someone comes to my house! And idk if this is a common thing for the autistic community, but nothing causes me more distress and panic/anxiety than "pop-up" company! I need to know someone is coming to my house wayyyy before they show up in order to have myself and my house in order! The perception of how others may think of me and the way my house looks is a MAJOR anxiety factor!! And a meltdown is almost always eminent during these things! Am i the only one who makes a huge deal about that or is this common? Lol! I figured I'd share that part, even though it opens up the entire concept of how people will perceive me and my experiences! 😳
I totally relate on the visitors 😢 It's terrible! When the unannounced are gone I tend to clean and tidy up and that does not make sense at all for they are gone..... I know that other people do not have their homes tidied up all the times and it's a relief to see but that feeling of not having everything in place when people come unannounced 😢 Having said that my house is pretty clean so I think it does not matter the state my house is in I will always feel that way.
Back in the days I got always comments from my father on my house. He always would pick something to upset me about.
I will NEVER do that to my kids. It will leave it trails....
❤
My dad is no longer allowed in my house because he misinterprets what he see negatively and then spreads the ignorant bs around like maneur.
Busted me on the toe movements, why? Most of this list resonates, am undiagnosed but have really been feeling more comfortable min my own skin since researching autism, especially the late diagnosed women. I am so grateful for your channel.
Yes! I often apologize to inanimate objects I didn’t chose to wear, use, eat, whatever.
Yes, yes! I love purple, I love paragraphs, I love giving context! I am also obsessive about an intro sentence and an concluding sentence, and then people think I'm repeating myself, when I'm not... :)
For me, I will let you know favorites if it naturally comes out in conversation.
My favorite color is definitely 💜 I hate commercials and won’t wanna buy what they are promoting if they’re interrupting whatever I’m watching,
funny right after you said that a commercial interrupted me watching your video.
I don’t follow trends just to buy something unless I truly like it,
I agree with the jump rope analogy,
People have gotten upset with me when I need things said to me in a specific way that makes sense to me,
Social cues are hard, I don’t usually talk unless someone says something to me first,
Each persons 1-10 scale is different one persons 3 is different to someone else’s etc.
If people don’t outright tell you what they need from you,that’s on them, you only know what you know,
Uneven productivity is a daily struggle for me, I feel more often stuck in inertia than productive,
Haha wow. I ticked off like, 9 of these, and some of them I didn't even realize were things other ASD folks did (and yes, purple is my favorite color!). Like, I am hyper aware of marketing tactics, a little impulsive about buying sometimes (ADHD sometimes wins out), but not often. I speak in paragraphs, and write in novels, and combining the awkwardly standing there phenomenon with the being hyper aware of others is always a recipe for fun because I also have social anxiety on top of it.
Okay. Not a favorite color, but a favorite color triad. Purple, Yellow, and Teal. Those three together are just *mwah* chefs kiss.
Haha yes 🤌🏻👌🏻💟
I've been a fan of this channel for a long time, it's always spot on. But ooooft...I got called out on this one! 😆 Spot on.
👋🏻 😜 🤭
What resonated the most with me in this video was the secret stmming, the asking of SO MANY questions (I just gotta know!) and the fear of being perceived as someone I'm not or ashamed that I am like that. Very intimidating for sure.
Regarding specificity of language: I love that you do what I do and speak/write/communicate with "slashes" even as you're talking about that. With myself I see it as trying to corner my gist by attacking it from two similar directions at once, sort of like triangulating it.
Oh my gosh! I can really relate to the last one. I do certain things that I don’t want people to perceive me as sensitive or anything like that. Especially when it comes to crying. I don’t want anyone to know that I cry. Because I don’t want to be looked at as sensitive. I don’t want people to know that I’m just regulated. I don’t want people to know that I’m having a bad day. The crying one is a big one for me though. I don’t want anyone to know that I cry.
Purple is my favourite colour! (And green, but that's just because its calming. Purple is like, so cool.)
For me it is the opposite: I hate fabric touching my lower part of my arm and my hands. I always roll up my sleeves :D
Purple and pink
I relate SO much about trying to join into a group conversation. I want the person who's talking to get their thought out before I say anything, but other people always cut them off to interject and I hate it. I usually don't end up contributing to those kinds of conversations at all, because I want people to finish what they are saying but no one does that. By the time I have a chance to say what I want to say the conversation has moved on.I also really relate to the lat point. I almost always feel like people are looking at me when I'm in a place where there are a lot of people focusing on one thing (like walking into a movie theater, walking into a classroom, etc). It gives me so much anxiety. My parents used to get annoyed when I said that because they were like "No one is looking at you." But I was sure people were.
The one about work is ON POINT! I’m AuDHD and I physically cannot control how hard I work. I work with much focus and intensity. What I can control is giving myself frequent rests between my bursts of energy. That’s why I cant work in most work environments because that can be seen as laziness and they dont see how much more work i got done in comparison to my coworkers. Their loss! I’m happy i have an understanding work place and they benefit so much from that understanding! ❤
You don't give yourself or autistic people enough credit, maybe because it was harder, it took longer to learn, you were seeing others struggles. The reasons you do what you do, you learned beyond what a neurotypical would because of your struggle. You became hyper aware! This is very much a gift.
In conversation when I have the urge to interject, I always tell myself "if it's important, you'll remember it again" that helps me to be able to focus on the conversation I'm having
I hate being manipulated once I learn of the strategy. I strategise my way around their strategies.
God yes to the hands being wet, mix that with food preparation, especially handling raw meat and constant hand washing, and I have a REAL problem.
If I touch something wet or oily when I’m cooking I immediately run my fingers under water every time. I am starting to realize how much time this adds up to!
Well you don’t want to transfer the funk to other surfaces. More cleanup, and you can’t see where you’ve been.
All of this resonates. I have a thing about wet hands too, but if I get one hand wet, I have to balance it by getting the other hand wet. Favorite color is purple, but I also like teal and black. The feeling bad about not choosing an inanimate object is a thing. Christmas tree shopping sucks.
This video is awesome. I wrote a bunch of long comments that I didn't post.
About interjection and interrupting. I often use what I call the "post-it analogy".
"Right now it feels like I have a bunch of post-it's in my brain, so we need to pause so that I can get those out in order to follow what you are saying."
The jump rope analogy resonates so hard! I have always felt like conversation, especially when there is a group of people involved, feels like mental Double Dutch.
Greetings from a teacher on her last grains of strength too....:-) Actually had a meltdown at home yesterday. Your content helped me stabilize.Can't thank you enough!
When I was a kid, I used to get in trouble for creating thumb holes in my school uniform 😂 and omg I SUCK at group conversations, I find them so stressful. Give me one-on-one, PLEASE. Also apparently when I was a kid (like 2/3), I used to refuse to do the 'messy' arts and crafts stuff. I'm better these days but if I can avoid getting messy I will, stresses me the hell out
A lot of those are definitely me.
I’m late diagnosed and just learning and accepting this in the past year.
15 is the first I have heard of this one and OMG - it’s me. 💯
Context…paragraphs…I’ve been chastised by my granddaughters that nobody cares about my context, just answer the question direct. So in the past few years, I’ve learned to stop myself. I feel so incomplete and the rumination is worse when I do that but I walk away feeling like I responded “normally”.
I am in complete agreement with all your points except the first one. The marketing point resonates with me on the one hand but on my ADHD hand, I tend to be impulsive.
You just described every Engineering PhD & scientist.
Only: light, hands wet, literal direction, awkward standing, overwhelmed of pain scale, understanding expectations, uneven productivity, covert stems, feeling perceived. The rest is typical of engineers, scientists, PhDs.
The pain scale question normally comes with a statement like "... where 0 is no pain at all and 10 is the worst pain you have ever felt." Is that not done with your Healthcare providers?
I had so much pain my job sent me to the hospital in an ambulance when I was early 20’s. In the ambulance they asked me for a pain scale.
I said calmly “Well, I’ve never given birth so, 9.”
EMT: *looks confused*
Me: “I’m in so much pain I can’t walk, so… Yeah this is the worst pain I have ever experienced.”
EMT: “People in this much pain usually aren’t this calm…”
Me: “I go through this every month, but never had it come on while working.”
I was put on IV fluids and a muscle relaxer because I couldn’t move my legs. I was experiencing so much pain my legs and hands were spasming.
16 years later, I was finally diagnosed with endometriosis
Life is a lot easier when you realize you can't please everyone.
I stand there awkwardly in public places all the time but could care less what anyone thinks of me. I am enjoying observing and perceiving everything and everyone around me in my own little world oblivious to anything else until I'm done and move on. Especially in nature. This world is amazing and sometimes I have to stand still and appreciate receiving the sensory data and just being here in this body, which is miraculous in itself. People don't care, they're usually too busy with their own stuff in their own heads to even notice me.
Up, down or over there when speaking about directions. For me, up is north, down is south, etc.
I can do the pain scale because I studied health psychology and learned about why/how they are used. Here’s my attempt to help:
So scale ratings are called Likert ratings and there are clear issues using them in research due to the fact that it’s not standardized. Further, the use of the extreme numbers is very rare compared to other numbers, suggesting that people psychologically experience the scale in a nonlinear way (which is helpful to know because it makes the other numbers more accessible if you think of 1 and 10 as uniquely extreme). Lastly, IN A CLINICAL SETTING it is not designed for accurately assessing the state of your body but is better a measurement of your subjective distress and thus the intensity of intervention necessary if it is not a gross injury (ie: how much medication needed or when should the next follow up be or should there be more testing).
I have fibromyalgia so I’m always in some pain (except about once every 2-5 years for a magical freedom day) so I’ve just decided that my normal level of pain is a 2 or 3. This is helpful as a barometer for when its appreciably higher subjectively, because I’m acclimated to a higher pain level than others doesn’t mean its not there so it improves my communication of my distress.
I hope that was helpful! If you have chronic conditions I highly recommend categorizing your days of “normal” [symptom] vs “bad day” [symptom] so that you can better communicate with professionals and glean insight for yourself. If you allow yourself to get it wrong the first couple months you’ll improve accuracy on your own scale over time, which is incredibly valuable in my experience with chronic illness.
I always thought it was subjective.
I'm also chronically in some pain, but I have a high pain tolerance. I'm always at a base level of1- 2 and I never considered myself to have been at 10(or else I'd probably have fainted or died from it). Childbirth is a 6 for me, so are migraines and bad toothaches. 7 or 8 has probably been the highest, a kidney infection or the short sudden pain of smashing my fingers in a car door. Sorry if anyone reading this feels pain or discomfort by hearing about it (I have something like that going on with me, too)
I always kind of feel like it's a log scale. 8 is 10x more pain then 7. Not great if the health professional doesn't think the same way.
Also a chronic pain (fibro and more) person, very used to being in "some" pain and still working full time.
xkcd once made a really funny comic on pain rating - I don't think links work (maybe I'm wrong), but it is number 883 for those who want to search it.
I'm ok with hands getting wet, but whole body? Nope.
It's a struggle to shower and water aerobics? (the best exercise for me because chronic pain) requires a full 3 hour self pep talk. I've never admitted this before.
Love your channel-- also thanks for showing your stimmy "process" in this vid. Not alone! not alone! not alone!
I am really adverse and reluctant to swim for this reason. Once I'm in the pool, I usually enjoy myself, but dealing with the prep (can *not* get burnt), and the wet clothing et al afterwards puts a damper on it. Pun not intended! Those wet/sticky things kinda gross me out.
I am not a fan of showering either.
For me it’s brushing my teeth. I have a wicked gag reflex.
This is my story too. Same with the kids years ago. I've been silently screaming for years. I've tried other ways and was told "...squeaky wheel gets oiled" but it's more like "...gets replaced" in my case. The struggle is real in all areas.