Its is in Fact your boy bad pronunciations use the Code :Bosnia and Herzegovina today to Shitalk your way through the ranks and Fail at being good at speaking Waid swadow Legonds becom a scotsman today
Mon Ami, I was there, it was so beautiful, I went home to my wife and made love to her all day and all night, and drank so much wine, ended up having 23 children.
I swear Timothy's story reads like a time traveler using foreknowledge of historical events to make a ton of money and passing it off as insane bumbling luck.
Timothy was an absolute troll. That whole thing with the punctuation marks had me on the floor dying with laughter. There is no way he wasn't a genius.
I own his book. There's a wonderful section where he details how he has found the physical soul. He says that, since when you drown someone to death, a bubble of air is released from their mouth that then floats away, that "the bubble is the soul", and that, basically, the soul escapes the mouth when you die, which is then only visible underwater. Me and some friends like to imagine Dexter drowning people in his basement and capturing their last breath/souls in mason jars.
So he technically introduced the West to a very Shinto depiction of the soul? I'm so confused by this man's ability to accidentally accomplish seemingly anything...
Unlike Andrew Jackson who had terrifying presence/small arms/endurance build. Guy shrugged off a musket ball, nearly whacked as a kid and made a murderer on trial with him back down from running with a look
@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Jackson also had a degree of luck, like when the insane guy who tried to assassinate him in the belief it would crown him king of England brandished two pistols which BOTH misfired. Of course, you might argue that wasn't Jackson's luck but rather his insanely high intimidation stat that caused the bullets to retract in fear.
@@Zetact_ I do actually argue that the guns misfired Out of fear. Jesus I missed when cracked was good and not buzz feed with more attempts at what liberals think is comedy, Dan o’brian could be so funny with or without swam as could Sean baby.
Playing with low intelligence does make the game a lot more fun imo. The Dr at the New Vegas clinic will give you a discount on the intelligence upgrade out of pity.
Timothy Dexter is the living embodiment of "what if humans could use 100% of our brains all the time?" For those who aren't in the know, having all neurons firing at once is a seizure.
I have a TBI that gives me grand mal seizures from time to time. And I could've wrote a restaurant menu more compelling than 18th century Chris Chan. Oh God I'm imagining Sonichu founding fathers ☹
You just can't be mad at Timothy. Absolutely incredible how successful he was even when odds were stacked against him, you'd mistaken him for a Shonen protagonist.
Ha, more like "I watched the Shonen it was very dumb!" In order for this joke to work, "Shonen" should be read as "show and." It's pretty loose, and I apologize for wasting your time.
Dexter was such a genius, he translated his book from English into Japanese, then into German, then into Spanish, then back into English, IN HIS HEAD, as he was writing! Amazing.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whale bone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston and New York.” Under Cover I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn, because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hell. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. It was pretty readable to me, to be fair I recently found out I have an IQ of 133, which concerns me because I think I'm an idiot
@@filipbabovic5914 Wise, it's shown that focusing on effort instead of "IQ" is the best way to be the smartest version of yourself. Reading an IQ test and letting it define you is BS
@@HotlineMiami50Blessings thank you for saying that, I have relatively high IQ (120 something) and I am one of the biggest dumbasses you can find unless I really try to be smart
@@HotlineMiami50BlessingsYeah IQ is just a current functions benchmark. It doesn’t actually speak of intelligence just possible capabilities, you spend time training your brain you can come back with higher IQ readings. People act like it’s set in stone.
You know those missionaries said "thank you Lord!" when the shipment of Bibles arrived, and then "Lord" Timothy Dexter in his clueless hubris replied, "You're most welcome my good men!"
My nomination for a madlad would be Gerald Bull. Dude was a real-life mad scientist from Canada who was a Cold War era ballistics expert that built the largest guns in human history during the HARP and SHARP projects. He then founded a company that made advanced artillery for Apartheid South Africa and Iraq, where he worked with Saddam Hussein to build the Babylon Supergun, the largest gun ever made; until he was assassinated by a certain Israeli intelligence agency in 1990.
They made an HBO movie about him. He also was a genius in artillery designer who developed the GC-45, a modified 155mm Howitzer standard with NATO but with 50% more range. He sold them to questionable countries like South Africa and Iraq and this eventually got his company closed down. Thanks to him Iraqi artillery outranged US ones in the gulf war.
the first thing that comes out when i see the first thing i think about when is this new font and i think it’s the same font i think i have been looking for a new one but idk what it looks good for me
I didn’t have to be in there until the last time you were done and you got to the start of the pope to the pope who is lost in Austria so you can get a word for you to do with the pope in a word and he will not have a good day of the pope to the pope in a general election he will not only be in there but as he does he will not be
I agree with you and your blood sugar levels in the morning and then again weren't able to get a new job is going well with the following the instructions in the future of the victims of the traitors
Wasn't luck it was skill, 34:30 How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
Out of everything he wrote in the book that he published, the part about his wife is the most clear, concise and easily understood piece of the entire thing. Gives you some idea of how serious he was when he wrote it.
"I was full of cash" "Wicked fly" "Sent a text" "I told all the secret" "Dont wonder no more how I got my money boys" "Like a dog been after sheep guilty" -Timothy Dexter
@@ryman1933 you can makeup whatever reason you want after the fact but this kind of luck is like deciding to quit your job and drive across the country....forgetting you don't have any money....then finding a winning lottery ticket for 50 million dollars after you run out of gas 20 miles away from everything....NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, NOT EVEN THRICE BUT 5 BLOODY TIMES!
Hey Dankula, just a quick update on Dragonlord, he got banned on basically every platform, and now he's making a Netflix documentary with a film studio, I'm not even kidding, so yeah part 4 for Dragonlord eventually has to come
I genuinely think it's possible that he could have been extremely smart, manipulative, and also had an extreme ability to charm people when needed, but hid that side of himself when needed so he could continue to get put into ridiculously profitable situations
Before Dank said it, when he said shipped coal to Newcastle, I said aloud, "Lemme guess, there was a miner strike." Couple minutes later, I died of laughter.
Exactly, everyone chocks him up to be stupidly lucky but literally all of his verifiable investments can easily be pulled together just by injecting the possibility that he had good informants in the shipping industry which by being a leather worker and seller isn't exactly much of a stretch. Seriously, go through all of his wins and just add to it that someone he knew wither a sailor or harbor master had tipped him off to movements in whatever the sale was in and it all makes pretty logical sense bibles to the indies? told missionaries had set off for the region bedpans to the rum makers? heard complaints about how hard it was to properly stir the molasses using the method they were accustomed to Coal to Newcastle? Literally rumors of a strike coming on Whale bone? French obscure fashion that's slowly growing popular Rat problem in the indies? Kinda obvious Revolutionary bonds? Knew someone with an ear to the government that heard whispers about an appeal to it to keep people happy and Dexter already knew the value of currency inflation and deflation from the revolution as shown by ownership of other currencies His book? Clearly it wasn't too hard to read for the time because if it was it wouldn't have sold well enough for 8 fucking editions Man was just a massive shitposter ahead of his time, I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Dexter and you tell me if this sounds like a complete idiot without any introspection or brains to speak of: "An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from"
So “wicked” is New England slang for “very” or “extremely”, so hearing a dude from my city over 200 years ago using the term, “wicked fly” is fucking hysterical to me
Imagine being at some dude's funeral and talking to his wife, having a laugh, and then her late husband comes back from the fucking underworld as far as you know and beats the shit out of her for not mourning enough.
He mentioned someone in the strikes ratting out his co-workers and then rushing to get coal there based on the rat's tip. He had a feeling people were going to want those Bibles later based on what he knew of the culture there. He said directly that he was a very lucky speculator. He played the fool and was street-smart, plus he had an attitude of pissing off the uppities by doing the same thing back then that you do to blue checks on Twitter.
34:30 proper translation How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. Dexter has a dream about warm pans in the west, for three nights. He proceeds to buy 42,000 pans, put them on 9 ships, and sold them for a profit of 79%. The pans were sold to good chefs who made great use of them. Now born a new his face was the best thing he'd seen in days. He felt lucky. then in his sleep had another dream, he dreamt that a bible was in the run-down Courtney, of the fort that used to be there 9 years prior. He found bibles for sale there, that were so old he could buy them for half price. He bought 12% amounting to 21,000. He put them in 21 boats heading towards the west. Then he sent word that every family must own one bible, or they'll go to hell. He proceeded to sell the bibles for a 100% profit. He then says he's already said too much. Tells everyone to relax, and not to wonder where he made his money ever again. I feel like people only see him as a fool due to mistranslation
"Never take an L no more Never take a damn thing slow All I know is chase this dough And get money Never gonna take no loss Never gonna lose my sauce All I know is chase this (whoa) And get money" -Timothy Dexter, translated from French, 1798
Almost pissing myself laughing, wiping away tears over Dank's recital of choice selections from A Pickle for the Knowing Ones. Now, for the Super Saiyan stage, Dank needs to make a video reading the entire thing. Let this be the ultimate test of endurance!
I got a copy of that book in my stocking for Christmas one year. I have a necktie with him on it wearing some weird hat that looks like a pillow. Newburyport is known more for this guy than being the hometown of the dude who convinced Lincoln to free the slaves, apparently
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. 34:30 He seemed to have the intentions, he just played everyone for such a fool he's still doing it!
I'm convinced he's the ancestor of a number of famous modern Americans. There are tons of people who seem like total dipshits and somehow became millionaires through a series of seemingly absurd business decisions.
"Even a penny is more money than you can count if you're stupid enough" is inspirational the same way "one day everything in the universe will end" is comforting.
You're absolutely right! And The Beatles showed us all how being able to play a few chords on a guitar and dropping acid will get you MILES further than ANY education!
@@thoticcusprime9309 No, but random chance is real, and sometimes it plays out in your favor continuously (i.e. you get "lucky"). Quit being a smartass.
There's no way someone can make that many initial bad decisions and come out of it better than before. I'm convinced he was divinely guided or secretly some kind of genius. Either way, Timothy Dexter is a legend.
Some people have the right mindset to accept dumb shit and just keep trying. It's fucking infuriating because I know 2 and they're both fucking idiots.
Perhaps the devil put in some extra hours to make this man succeed to piss off all responsible people. The "trick" is not to be envious or overly jealous.
Timothy Dexter is objective proof of the existence of a higher power. There is literally no other possible explanation of his life other than divine intervention.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. 34:30 Or Dank should just hire me because translating was cake. This guy is a smart con man.
34:30 You people just can't read. Here I'll translate. How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
Not a good comparission. With enough advertising and a decent trailer even a flaming pile of shit can make a good profit. This man literally might be the only person that god actually looked after lol.
You just need to dopamine harder, try substance or fornication abuse/addiction if that isn’t enough go join a gotcha game if you are not already. Religions also a good way to boost it.
@@lava-yq7tf why dank hasn’t done one on a man with the title “the mad Baron” is beyond me honestly. Glad to make your day, I think the major from hellsing is around here as well if he hasn’t invaded London yet.
I haven't played any video games since I was a teenager in the 90's , but I do love the way you introduce the ad with " But, before we get into the mad lad ..."
34:30 How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. I'm sick of people not knowing con men hide great ideas behind terrible grammar.
@@aerospyrosftw >returned >last upload 3 months ago first time? (oh, sure, he came back. he's done that before. not expecting another video before i turn 40 tbh.)
Somewhere under the floorboards of Timothy's house is a journal documenting how he presented the idea of whale bone corsets to fashion designers and instigated a coal strike in New Castle
Story telling is a gift, and sir, you have it in spades. Listening to you talking about the Mad Lads is always a pleasure. Most appreciated. The Brian Flannigan apology: too damn funny.
My honest, well meaning opinion of how great of a story teller Dank is sounds embarrassingly like an grandmotherly old lady condescendingly complimenting Forest Gump on a park bench. "That's a great story and you told it so well."
If anyone was wondering, a stay was an old undergarment a bit like a corset but nowhere near as tight and it used whalebone to keep things in place, so that's probably what dexter thought the sailor meant
When you said he bought whale bones for stay-stuffs I thought for a moment "Great, you can't have stays without whalebone! Stays were popular in the 18th century." Stays were the precursor to corsets and the "whalebone" inside of them is actually baleen or those soft bristly whale teeth that gives them a firm shape but still flexible. Then the story went somewhere else completely 😅
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hell. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver. That's the start of what he says at 34:30
@@joekaz5198 indeed fren. Also, written by people bragging about riches they don't yet have and copying trends followed by the rich in a tasteless fashion that makes things like expensive liquor, high end vehicles, and fancy watches seem suddenly tacky. Today's rich people should take a page from Timmy's neighbors and trick rappers into thinking really dumb things are classy rich people stuff. Just for the keks.
These are some absolute boomer-tier takes lmao. It says more about you guys that you honestly think rap is nothing but bling-bling. Even stablished classical music scholars have praised rappers' use of tempo and ingeneous and creative lyricism. There's more to a genre than the Top 40 from 20 years ago.
@@publiusventidiusbassus1232 I didn't say it would make good rap, I said it could be successful. Much in the same way that Dexter himself was successful.
Or he was actually intelligent and hid his ideas behind painful grammar. 34:30 How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
This was fantastic, my wife thought I was crazy everytime I burst out laughing. In regards to Timothy's writings... I wonder if it's a situation of him having a thick accent or being a fast talker and he was just dictating to a writer who knew he could get away with fudging some of it.
Apparently I'm a natural at insanity Translation: He meant his enemies would have that sad begging for forgiveness guilty look _like a dog that had gone after his master's sheep._
I really wonder how his detractors must've felt that by giving him the worst financial advice possible, he still made a killing out of it by sheer luck. They were probably all in disbelief.
This whole thing reminds me of my grandpa. He started as a potato farmer until he could afford a shack for his family in whats basically the slums of the country capitol. Once there he started a small roadside fruit and vegetable stand just in time for when that road was getting expanded as one of the main routes in the country. He then upgraded to a small shop and trough some people and wandering salesman made connections with people from the ports down south and set up supply chain for foreign or rare fruits which ended up being such a big hit that people were coming from the other side of town to buy from him and this was so lucrative that he teamed up with a couple of his at the time competitors and started supplying them for a cut of the profits. Eventually he just started pretty much just working as a supplier for everyone with the store only being there as an afterthought and to teach my father and his brother discipline. He eventually sold this business just in time for it to not really be as profitable and instead fully focused on the thing that he wanted to make and that was a big local bar which was his dream and he had a perfect name for it.. unfortunately it got take a day earlier and it was such a good name that it became a local icon. Grandpa had to settle for something less notable but it was fine as the bar was made just in time for a massive influx of residents due to new industry opening nearby and he had the only bar within a few miles so it was very profitable and a favorite for the locals. Sadly after my grandpa passed my father and his brother pretty much let go and let everything fall apart and the bar was close for a couple of decades until some of the locals contacted us wanting to buy the bar so they could reopen it and they wanted to reopen it with the same name, hell they even have a picture of grandpa hanging over the counter , that really brought a tear to my eye when we visited it for the first time.
Bet yer grandpa thinks wtf worked all my life for success but my kids fkd it and my soppy grandchild is reduced to talking about me on the tinternet, why the fuck did I bother
Install Raid for Free ✅ IOS/ANDROID/PC: clcr.me/Nov22_2CDankula and get a special starter pack 💥 Available only for the next 30 days
Its is in Fact your boy bad pronunciations use the Code :Bosnia and Herzegovina today to Shitalk your way through the ranks and Fail at being good at speaking Waid swadow Legonds becom a scotsman today
no
@@dc6521 powermove
Do. Anton. LeVay. Please.
Everyone is talking about raid but nobody ever play
"Good breeding, piety and wine" is actually a hell of a great parting.
"Je am not even mad. Zis Timothee fellow 'e understands us perfectly." -- Frenchman listening to his speech in cod-French
And knowing the French, probably was treated as the best speech given in the last decade at the time
Mon Ami, I was there, it was so beautiful, I went home to my wife and made love to her all day and all night, and drank so much wine, ended up having 23 children.
"Good breeding, piety and wine"
The French: This mf spittin.
@@havokvladimirovichstalinov Knowing the French, his words were likely the kindest the people had ever heard.
I swear Timothy's story reads like a time traveler using foreknowledge of historical events to make a ton of money and passing it off as insane bumbling luck.
unlimited rice pudding
That's what I stumbled on as a theory.
It's like some guy or entity as nice as Doctor Who was helping him out.
And he loves cats.
I mean it does make a little sense when you consider that one of the lines from his book included the words “and sent a text” 😂
@@sonofeyeabovealleffoff5462 If Big Finish ever makes an audio drama on Timothy Dexter, what Doctor should they use?
Timothy was an absolute troll. That whole thing with the punctuation marks had me on the floor dying with laughter. There is no way he wasn't a genius.
Probably a smart guy drunk on absinthe, arsenic, and god knows what Victorian era poison...
“Peper and solt it as they please”
Truly a pickle for the knowing ones
The idea of putting all the punctuation on a separate page and more or less saying 'Help yourself' is *ABSOLUTE GENIUS*
I’m working on becoming a professional proofreader. I think I’m just gonna send out a copy of that page with every job, and await my paychecks. 😂
🤣
Its absolutely hilarious.
B.A.S.E.D
To be fair, this would be my response as well. Because go suck on a musket, thats why.
Timothy Dexter was quite literally the humanized version of the phrase "task failed sucessfully"
i was thinking the same thing 😂
In the words of RNGesus when he looked down on Mr Dexter: "You my child shall be the one with all the figgy pudding"
It reminds me of when you die right before killing a Dark Souls boss but when you respawn the boss has registered as having been killed.
I own his book. There's a wonderful section where he details how he has found the physical soul. He says that, since when you drown someone to death, a bubble of air is released from their mouth that then floats away, that "the bubble is the soul", and that, basically, the soul escapes the mouth when you die, which is then only visible underwater.
Me and some friends like to imagine Dexter drowning people in his basement and capturing their last breath/souls in mason jars.
I also love how he was convinced that he was a lord, and George Washington and John Adams were kings!
33 mason jars
So he technically introduced the West to a very Shinto depiction of the soul?
I'm so confused by this man's ability to accidentally accomplish seemingly anything...
Which he sold at a profit when he was inevitably sent to Hell for pissing God off.
He probably sold those Mason jars for a fortune.
Nearly 16 minutes in, and this guy took out all his points from intelligence and put it into luck lmao
Sounds like a typical new vegas build.
Unlike Andrew Jackson who had terrifying presence/small arms/endurance build. Guy shrugged off a musket ball, nearly whacked as a kid and made a murderer on trial with him back down from running with a look
@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus Jackson also had a degree of luck, like when the insane guy who tried to assassinate him in the belief it would crown him king of England brandished two pistols which BOTH misfired.
Of course, you might argue that wasn't Jackson's luck but rather his insanely high intimidation stat that caused the bullets to retract in fear.
@@Zetact_ I do actually argue that the guns misfired Out of fear. Jesus I missed when cracked was good and not buzz feed with more attempts at what liberals think is comedy, Dan o’brian could be so funny with or without swam as could Sean baby.
Playing with low intelligence does make the game a lot more fun imo. The Dr at the New Vegas clinic will give you a discount on the intelligence upgrade out of pity.
Timothy Dexter is the living embodiment of "what if humans could use 100% of our brains all the time?"
For those who aren't in the know, having all neurons firing at once is a seizure.
Agh cool I want that
I have a TBI that gives me grand mal seizures from time to time. And I could've wrote a restaurant menu more compelling than 18th century Chris Chan. Oh God I'm imagining Sonichu founding fathers ☹
@@bettya.k.abetty8259 Fuck No, go back!!
THANK YOU for not perpetuating that absolutely miserable myth!
@@bettya.k.abetty8259 throttle bodies individual rock!
"Even a penny is more money than you can count if you're an idiot"
Most inspirational quote you've ever given us
You just can't be mad at Timothy. Absolutely incredible how successful he was even when odds were stacked against him, you'd mistaken him for a Shonen protagonist.
A schoolgirl is hit by a car and reincarnated into Timothy Dexter in the new hit show... "My Life as Timmy D."
THIS IS SO ACCURATE!
He was dumb enough to be a shonen protagonist, lol
They kept activating his trap card
Ha, more like "I watched the Shonen it was very dumb!"
In order for this joke to work, "Shonen" should be read as "show and." It's pretty loose, and I apologize for wasting your time.
Timothy writing the worlds first A.I generated text, truly a man ahead of his time.
holy shit this is it, this is exactly what it sounds like.
Dexter was such a genius, he translated his book from English into Japanese, then into German, then into Spanish, then back into English, IN HIS HEAD, as he was writing! Amazing.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whale bone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston and New York.” Under Cover I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn, because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hell. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
It was pretty readable to me, to be fair I recently found out I have an IQ of 133, which concerns me because I think I'm an idiot
@@HotlineMiami50Blessings dont trust the iq tests
@@filipbabovic5914 Wise, it's shown that focusing on effort instead of "IQ" is the best way to be the smartest version of yourself. Reading an IQ test and letting it define you is BS
@@HotlineMiami50Blessings thank you for saying that, I have relatively high IQ (120 something) and I am one of the biggest dumbasses you can find unless I really try to be smart
@@HotlineMiami50BlessingsYeah IQ is just a current functions benchmark. It doesn’t actually speak of intelligence just possible capabilities, you spend time training your brain you can come back with higher IQ readings. People act like it’s set in stone.
You know those missionaries said "thank you Lord!" when the shipment of Bibles arrived, and then "Lord" Timothy Dexter in his clueless hubris replied, "You're most welcome my good men!"
People in Newburyport still call him Lord Timothy Dexter, for some reason. Probably out of sarcasm
@@mikeydubbs8565 It's interesting that they still keep the joke going after all these years!
timothy dexter quite literally was the embodiment of the phrase 'during a gold rush, you don't start looking for gold, you sell shovels'
My nomination for a madlad would be Gerald Bull. Dude was a real-life mad scientist from Canada who was a Cold War era ballistics expert that built the largest guns in human history during the HARP and SHARP projects. He then founded a company that made advanced artillery for Apartheid South Africa and Iraq, where he worked with Saddam Hussein to build the Babylon Supergun, the largest gun ever made; until he was assassinated by a certain Israeli intelligence agency in 1990.
*you mean real south africa, not the shitshow of today.
Ya boy just wanted to make the biggest boomsticks. Can’t fault a man for that.
MOAR DAKKA
@@jeremytitus9519 a man can dream. See you later, John Candy supervillain
They made an HBO movie about him. He also was a genius in artillery designer who developed the GC-45, a modified 155mm Howitzer standard with NATO but with 50% more range. He sold them to questionable countries like South Africa and Iraq and this eventually got his company closed down. Thanks to him Iraqi artillery outranged US ones in the gulf war.
Duuuude, Timothy Dexter was the walking definition of failing upwards.
So a modern Disney employee.
Nah, the definition of failing upwards is Kamala Harris.
He said falling upwards, not falling on D
@@Sniperboy5551 *Kamala Haggis
He is not Joe Biden :|
Timothy wrote like those “type this and use autocorrect to finish the sentence” memes
Truly ahead of his time and a genius tbh
the first thing that comes out when i see the first thing i think about when is this new font and i think it’s the same font i think i have been looking for a new one but idk what it looks good for me
Yeah and every time I try to go where I really want to be It's already where I am Cause I'm already there
I didn’t have to be in there until the last time you were done and you got to the start of the pope to the pope who is lost in Austria so you can get a word for you to do with the pope in a word and he will not have a good day of the pope to the pope in a general election he will not only be in there but as he does he will not be
I agree with you and your blood sugar levels in the morning and then again weren't able to get a new job is going well with the following the instructions in the future of the victims of the traitors
I absolutely believe that this guy's luck is the reason why we all stub our toes.
Whenever I stub from now on, I’m gonna cry out “Damn you, Dexter!”
There is a limited amount of Fortune in the world and he stole all of ours
@@jeremytitus9519 Lord Dexter*
@@maxglushkov7969 that was terribly remiss of me
Wasn't luck it was skill, 34:30
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
Out of everything he wrote in the book that he published, the part about his wife is the most clear, concise and easily understood piece of the entire thing. Gives you some idea of how serious he was when he wrote it.
The bots are getting lost
@@richardmillhousenixon Aww they're doing the best they can, poor little bastards.
He was probably just sober when he wrote that bit.
@@richardmillhousenixonlol
"I was full of cash" "Wicked fly" "Sent a text" "I told all the secret" "Dont wonder no more how I got my money boys" "Like a dog been after sheep guilty" -Timothy Dexter
My god, he is a rapper from Harlem.
Major swag
Wack Bible
Don’t forget “one time, I dream of warming pans”
“Wicked fly”, is actually modern New England slang ie “That Adidas track suit is wicked fly!” The man was truly ahead of his time
This guy is the single greatest example of why action is more important than talent.
I was gonna say....he's an example of a goddamn time traveller using future information to make a huge profit.
@@MrMduchesne23 the worlds dumbest smartest time traveller
@@ryman1933 you can makeup whatever reason you want after the fact but this kind of luck is like deciding to quit your job and drive across the country....forgetting you don't have any money....then finding a winning lottery ticket for 50 million dollars after you run out of gas 20 miles away from everything....NOT ONCE, NOT TWICE, NOT EVEN THRICE BUT 5 BLOODY TIMES!
Luck. Luck is what's important
Hey Dankula, just a quick update on Dragonlord, he got banned on basically every platform, and now he's making a Netflix documentary with a film studio, I'm not even kidding, so yeah part 4 for Dragonlord eventually has to come
more successful than Chandler
@@mathieuleader8601 Ah yeah, someone who has multiple charges for various crimes and admitted to watch animal porn, and just to say a few things...
Real Life Oger
@@Rher_the_Moon B.O. and desperation mixed in the proper proportion....
@@Rher_the_Moon He's the attention equivalent of a black hole
I genuinely think it's possible that he could have been extremely smart, manipulative, and also had an extreme ability to charm people when needed, but hid that side of himself when needed so he could continue to get put into ridiculously profitable situations
I think that's evident. He had a temper like no other and did get lucky, but he probably was a very good manipulator
Not when he tried selling coal to Newcastle.
Dexter was just a lucky, lucky, lucky idiot. He was like Bizzaro Job.
"A mouthbreather that continually failed upward..."
*J O E B I D E N*
He’s a fusion of Biden and Trump. Every time the elites tried screwing him over it only made him stronger.
Before Dank said it, when he said shipped coal to Newcastle, I said aloud, "Lemme guess, there was a miner strike." Couple minutes later, I died of laughter.
Exactly, everyone chocks him up to be stupidly lucky but literally all of his verifiable investments can easily be pulled together just by injecting the possibility that he had good informants in the shipping industry which by being a leather worker and seller isn't exactly much of a stretch. Seriously, go through all of his wins and just add to it that someone he knew wither a sailor or harbor master had tipped him off to movements in whatever the sale was in and it all makes pretty logical sense
bibles to the indies? told missionaries had set off for the region
bedpans to the rum makers? heard complaints about how hard it was to properly stir the molasses using the method they were accustomed to
Coal to Newcastle? Literally rumors of a strike coming on
Whale bone? French obscure fashion that's slowly growing popular
Rat problem in the indies? Kinda obvious
Revolutionary bonds? Knew someone with an ear to the government that heard whispers about an appeal to it to keep people happy and Dexter already knew the value of currency inflation and deflation from the revolution as shown by ownership of other currencies
His book? Clearly it wasn't too hard to read for the time because if it was it wouldn't have sold well enough for 8 fucking editions
Man was just a massive shitposter ahead of his time, I'll leave you with my favorite quote from Dexter and you tell me if this sounds like a complete idiot without any introspection or brains to speak of:
"An ungrateful man is like a hog under a tree eating acorns, but never looking up to see where they come from"
That photo nearly killed me with fear
rip in piece fren
"Whack bibles, send text, wicked fly, come fight me at my house, I hate my wife. Words can't be expressed."
Truer words have never been spoken.
Your punctuation was incorrect 😜
Brings a tear to my eye
I was dying laughing 😂😂 omg
So “wicked” is New England slang for “very” or “extremely”, so hearing a dude from my city over 200 years ago using the term, “wicked fly” is fucking hysterical to me
The flashing frame of Maggie Thatcher when Newcastle's mining economy was mentioned sent me...
"I wish you good breeding, piety, and wine" actually goes hard
"Sex, drugs and rock'n'roll"
Oh yeah, the Sam O'Nella Count Dankula crossover universe is coming together nicely
The merge is happening
Im waiting for the day that the Unmovable Object that Count Dankula its the Unstoppable force thats Sam hit eachother
@@moistcena648 The dimensional merge? :O
@@oopus4 yes
Dank is Sam's Scottish uncle according to my headcanon
“Like a dog being after sheep guilty” is actually a very good sentence.
Shepherds don’t like dogs that are guilty of going after sheep.
"Even a penny is more money than you can count, if you're stupid enough." - Count Dankula, 2022
Imagine being at some dude's funeral and talking to his wife, having a laugh, and then her late husband comes back from the fucking underworld as far as you know and beats the shit out of her for not mourning enough.
👆Congratulations
You have been selected as random…haha, just kidding I’m a person. Here’s your non bot reply.
@@Theendman42 We need to launch a war on these bots. Bot lives don't matter.
@@Александр-у8й6д Finally, something to unite all of mankind. (Except those who make the bots).
Sounds like an episode of futurama lol
"Even a penny is more money than you can count, if you're stupid enough." Quote for the ages right there
He mentioned someone in the strikes ratting out his co-workers and then rushing to get coal there based on the rat's tip.
He had a feeling people were going to want those Bibles later based on what he knew of the culture there.
He said directly that he was a very lucky speculator.
He played the fool and was street-smart, plus he had an attitude of pissing off the uppities by doing the same thing back then that you do to blue checks on Twitter.
A classic "The Gods Love A Fool" story. Thanks, Dank.
I wonder if these paintings he had made are still around
34:30 proper translation
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
Dexter has a dream about warm pans in the west, for three nights. He proceeds to buy 42,000 pans, put them on 9 ships, and sold them for a profit of 79%. The pans were sold to good chefs who made great use of them. Now born a new his face was the best thing he'd seen in days. He felt lucky. then in his sleep had another dream, he dreamt that a bible was in the run-down Courtney, of the fort that used to be there 9 years prior. He found bibles for sale there, that were so old he could buy them for half price. He bought 12% amounting to 21,000. He put them in 21 boats heading towards the west. Then he sent word that every family must own one bible, or they'll go to hell. He proceeded to sell the bibles for a 100% profit. He then says he's already said too much. Tells everyone to relax, and not to wonder where he made his money ever again.
I feel like people only see him as a fool due to mistranslation
Calling Timothy Dexter an idiot made him more powerful than his neighbors could possibly imagine.
The fact that Timothy managed to succeed despite being thick as fuck gives me hope
He just maxed his luck skill.
"Never take an L no more
Never take a damn thing slow
All I know is chase this dough
And get money
Never gonna take no loss
Never gonna lose my sauce
All I know is chase this (whoa)
And get money"
-Timothy Dexter, translated from French, 1798
Obi-Wan Kenobi: In my experience, there's no such thing as luck
Timothy Dexter: tHeRe'S nO sUcH tHiNg As LuCk
- turns a profit herding cats
- sends text messages before 1810
- invents AI-generated writing
- beats up a ghost
Accurats.
mustycow1 devoured my family and then spat on my Van Gogh print when I let him into my house
would not work with again
@@FourOf92000 😂I’m Dead after that one, Fair Trolin play😂
So… Chuck Norris?
Almost pissing myself laughing, wiping away tears over Dank's recital of choice selections from A Pickle for the Knowing Ones. Now, for the Super Saiyan stage, Dank needs to make a video reading the entire thing. Let this be the ultimate test of endurance!
Can't wait for the sequel. A pickle for the knowing ones: A stink pickel over the fried chicken and cathartic cheese.
I got a copy of that book in my stocking for Christmas one year. I have a necktie with him on it wearing some weird hat that looks like a pillow. Newburyport is known more for this guy than being the hometown of the dude who convinced Lincoln to free the slaves, apparently
@@mikeydubbs8565 Either's good for tourism, right?
Your going to give the man a aneurysm.
16:13 "was it attacked by a group of terribly disappointed pirates" hahahaha
This guy is the literally the person that slips on a banana peel and doing a perfect flips. Even if it’s unintentional.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
34:30 He seemed to have the intentions, he just played everyone for such a fool he's still doing it!
Timothy is just what happens if Chris Chan ever became an isekai protagonist
nice to see you here
@@flamestoyershadowkill Nice to see you here
I get the feeling mindbreak, incest, and mother tag would be involved in the 18+ isekai this would inevitably end up as...
I have no idea what those things are, but take my like anyway.
The book reads like someone actually tried to put the "infinite monkeys" theory to the test.
I would not be surprised if Timothy Dexter's bloodline lasted all the way to the modern day... in the form of DarksydePhil.
I'm convinced he's the ancestor of a number of famous modern Americans. There are tons of people who seem like total dipshits and somehow became millionaires through a series of seemingly absurd business decisions.
That could explain a lot
I just wrote the same, before I saw your post...it's all I could picture.. 🤣🤣
I made this joke years ago
Who’s dat
"Even a penny is more money than you can count if you're stupid enough" is inspirational the same way "one day everything in the universe will end" is comforting.
Dude was like an OG Forrest Gump meets Charlie from Sunny. They need to make a movie about this guy. It'd be hilarious!
Sam’O’Nella has prepared me for this.
It’s a story I know, but I love hearing people re-tell it in their own way!
Well Done, Dank!
You and me both
R.I.P Sam'O'Nella Ye be missed
@hughgrection7246 he made one new video recently but only one so far.
@@ThatSpecificIndividual he said see you next year or sum shit at the end of the video though...
@@ThatSpecificIndividualjust dropped one the other day
This is a perfect example of why confidence and salesmanship will get you miles farther than any education
And luck. A _LOT_ of luck.
@@Daniel_Lancelin
A MAXED OUT FUCKING LUCK STAT!
@@Daniel_Lancelin Luck isnt real
You're absolutely right! And The Beatles showed us all how being able to play a few chords on a guitar and dropping acid will get you MILES further than ANY education!
@@thoticcusprime9309 No, but random chance is real, and sometimes it plays out in your favor continuously (i.e. you get "lucky"). Quit being a smartass.
Timothy Dexter is the most American success story I've ever heard.
There's no way someone can make that many initial bad decisions and come out of it better than before. I'm convinced he was divinely guided or secretly some kind of genius. Either way, Timothy Dexter is a legend.
Some people have the right mindset to accept dumb shit and just keep trying.
It's fucking infuriating because I know 2 and they're both fucking idiots.
Perhaps the devil put in some extra hours to make this man succeed to piss off all responsible people.
The "trick" is not to be envious or overly jealous.
I think Timothy Dexter, after hearing so much about his exploits, was just God's way of trolling higher society, back then.
This whole story sounds like the setup for a really good comedy. Seriously I was laughing the whole time.🤣
Timothy Dexter is objective proof of the existence of a higher power. There is literally no other possible explanation of his life other than divine intervention.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
34:30 Or Dank should just hire me because translating was cake. This guy is a smart con man.
One of god's favorite morons.
Thanks for covering this story. He is truly New England's village idiot, and our greatest cat herdsman.
34:30 You people just can't read. Here I'll translate.
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
Don't forget, nation's first and greatest informer of deer.
CAT RANCHER, REEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
He writes as eloquently as Charlie! Charlie Day would obviously have to play him if they ever made a movie out of this guys life
That's the smartest thing I've ever heard 😯
Timothy Dexter is the predecessor to people in Hollywood as despite making terrible products they somehow become successful.
Being in the tribe helps
but timothy dexter's success was actually funny, hollywood is just sad
@@fslashthroat Definitely a large portion of it, the nepotism is real.
Timothy Dexter is the pre-incarnation of Kamala Harris.
Not a good comparission. With enough advertising and a decent trailer even a flaming pile of shit can make a good profit. This man literally might be the only person that god actually looked after lol.
My destroyed by dopamine brain wants to thank Mr. Editor for including anime girls and engaging text. Very nice, keep it up
You just need to dopamine harder, try substance or fornication abuse/addiction if that isn’t enough go join a gotcha game if you are not already. Religions also a good way to boost it.
@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus never knew I would talk to a Mongolian war lord
@@lava-yq7tf why dank hasn’t done one on a man with the title “the mad Baron” is beyond me honestly. Glad to make your day, I think the major from hellsing is around here as well if he hasn’t invaded London yet.
I don't even know the anime but it was a nice touch
I haven't played any video games since I was a teenager in the 90's , but I do love the way you introduce the ad with " But, before we get into the mad lad ..."
The mans THE definition of “failing upwards”
Or “task failed successfully “
Dude isn't failing upwards man, he's skydiving in reverse, gravity be damned
34:30
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
I'm sick of people not knowing con men hide great ideas behind terrible grammar.
As a wise man once said, Timothy Dexter was indeed the man “with all the *F I G I P U D D I N G* “
Ah, a fellow graduate of Sam O'Nella Academy
Fellow Alumni!
@@temporalCaster The great one has returned
@@aerospyrosftw
>returned
>last upload 3 months ago
first time?
(oh, sure, he came back. he's done that before. not expecting another video before i turn 40 tbh.)
@@aerospyrosftw came back and immediately left for a sebbatical
His “book” sounds like my adhd self trying to write a text message.
Somewhere under the floorboards of Timothy's house is a journal documenting how he presented the idea of whale bone corsets to fashion designers and instigated a coal strike in New Castle
This entire video had me dying. Dankula, in case you haven't been reminded lately, you're a God among word-smiths.
its amazing how much his writing sounds like a hasty text sent in the middle of the night
Story telling is a gift, and sir, you have it in spades. Listening to you talking about the Mad Lads is always a pleasure. Most appreciated. The Brian Flannigan apology: too damn funny.
My honest, well meaning opinion of how great of a story teller Dank is sounds embarrassingly like an grandmotherly old lady condescendingly complimenting Forest Gump on a park bench. "That's a great story and you told it so well."
"even a penny is more money than you can count if you're stupid enough" that's great lmao
a big thanks to the text box and all the work they did with providing us some level of entertainment in this video.
WOW!! A mandlad that had a living life of a true meaning of "The American Dream"! This was awesome and great episode, Count! Thank you!!
He was a late 1700's yeezy.
Timothy Dexter is a prime piece of evidence that we are all a simulation and someone decided to go for a luck build just to see if it would work.
I like the frame or two of Thatcher thrown in there around the mining industry line. Well done sir.
My wife and I read the page and because we are dyslexic we were able to make some sense of it. In short: it came to him in a dream. Then he did it.
If anyone was wondering, a stay was an old undergarment a bit like a corset but nowhere near as tight and it used whalebone to keep things in place, so that's probably what dexter thought the sailor meant
"Even a penny is more money than you can count, if you're stupid enough" this is my new life motto
Easily one of the most hilarious Mad Lads episodes. I would love to see a comedy film about this man where he is played by Rowan Atkinson.
I haven't laughed that hard in a while. Just the story itself is hilarious, but your presentation was the kiss of sunshine to make it pop
Gotta say, I admire this guy. Absolute no hoper who defied the odds… even if it was just dumb luck!
When you said he bought whale bones for stay-stuffs I thought for a moment "Great, you can't have stays without whalebone! Stays were popular in the 18th century." Stays were the precursor to corsets and the "whalebone" inside of them is actually baleen or those soft bristly whale teeth that gives them a firm shape but still flexible. Then the story went somewhere else completely 😅
Well technicly it did end up there
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Spectators swarmed like hell. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
That's the start of what he says at 34:30
@@HotlineMiami50Blessings Cool story. Enjoyed it the last half dozen times I read it in replies to a comment. Maybe Tim invented copy+paste too.
Timothy's writing is what I hear if I don't have subtitles on
As a fellow hearing impaired person, I resemble this comment.
That Thatcher flash frightened the crap out of me!
She has that effect on people.
@@nerdking731 😂
If someone took Timothy Dexter's book and recited it quickly over a beat, I think they could be a successful rapper.
Yes, most rap is grammarless nonsense.
@@joekaz5198 indeed fren. Also, written by people bragging about riches they don't yet have and copying trends followed by the rich in a tasteless fashion that makes things like expensive liquor, high end vehicles, and fancy watches seem suddenly tacky. Today's rich people should take a page from Timmy's neighbors and trick rappers into thinking really dumb things are classy rich people stuff. Just for the keks.
These are some absolute boomer-tier takes lmao. It says more about you guys that you honestly think rap is nothing but bling-bling. Even stablished classical music scholars have praised rappers' use of tempo and ingeneous and creative lyricism. There's more to a genre than the Top 40 from 20 years ago.
@@publiusventidiusbassus1232 I didn't say it would make good rap, I said it could be successful. Much in the same way that Dexter himself was successful.
Turns out this dude was a time traveler that watched this video in an alternate dimension thus knowing all the weird investments would work
Or he was actually intelligent and hid his ideas behind painful grammar. 34:30
How Did Dexter make his money they asked. “By buying whalebone to stain my ships, making 380 and 40 tons per boat. All in Salem, Boston, and New York.” Under Cover, I told the people. Everyone laughed, still I had my gun, and four cunning men for backup. They sounded a horn because I told them to act like fools. I was broke, but I had 9 tons of fake silver. It felt like the gods were laughing at me. Rumors of my fake silver spread fast. But here’s the catch after 50 days it was all smelted, but a rat found out it was going to Newberry Port. Speculators swarmed like hellhounds. I had to be short with it, I made a little over 75% per one ton and a half of fake silver.
This was fantastic, my wife thought I was crazy everytime I burst out laughing. In regards to Timothy's writings... I wonder if it's a situation of him having a thick accent or being a fast talker and he was just dictating to a writer who knew he could get away with fudging some of it.
Yes, Mr. Editor. I'm having a great time and appreciate your advancements in the field of text boxes.
Its weird without seeing him as a stickfigure
Apparently I'm a natural at insanity Translation:
He meant his enemies would have that sad begging for forgiveness guilty look _like a dog that had gone after his master's sheep._
There's no way Ol Timmy wasn't picking up each cat and saying, "Now that's a good fucking kitty!" and then tossing it on the ship
I really wonder how his detractors must've felt that by giving him the worst financial advice possible, he still made a killing out of it by sheer luck. They were probably all in disbelief.
I cannot imagine the amount of SEETHING.
"even a penny is more money than you can count, if you're stupid enough" wiser words were never spoken 😂😂😂😂
So cool that you covered Timothy Dexter. There is an industrial park in Newburyport that I work at that's named after him.
Yeah I’ve been by it
Also the home city of William Lloyd Garrison, the guy who convinced Lincoln to free the slaves. Newburyport is wicked historical
Timothy Dexter is the real embodiment of the meme "Task failed successfully"
This dude was a time traveler with a deep knowledge of historic economic trends.
This whole thing reminds me of my grandpa. He started as a potato farmer until he could afford a shack for his family in whats basically the slums of the country capitol. Once there he started a small roadside fruit and vegetable stand just in time for when that road was getting expanded as one of the main routes in the country. He then upgraded to a small shop and trough some people and wandering salesman made connections with people from the ports down south and set up supply chain for foreign or rare fruits which ended up being such a big hit that people were coming from the other side of town to buy from him and this was so lucrative that he teamed up with a couple of his at the time competitors and started supplying them for a cut of the profits. Eventually he just started pretty much just working as a supplier for everyone with the store only being there as an afterthought and to teach my father and his brother discipline. He eventually sold this business just in time for it to not really be as profitable and instead fully focused on the thing that he wanted to make and that was a big local bar which was his dream and he had a perfect name for it.. unfortunately it got take a day earlier and it was such a good name that it became a local icon. Grandpa had to settle for something less notable but it was fine as the bar was made just in time for a massive influx of residents due to new industry opening nearby and he had the only bar within a few miles so it was very profitable and a favorite for the locals. Sadly after my grandpa passed my father and his brother pretty much let go and let everything fall apart and the bar was close for a couple of decades until some of the locals contacted us wanting to buy the bar so they could reopen it and they wanted to reopen it with the same name, hell they even have a picture of grandpa hanging over the counter , that really brought a tear to my eye when we visited it for the first time.
Bet yer grandpa thinks wtf worked all my life for success but my kids fkd it and my soppy grandchild is reduced to talking about me on the tinternet, why the fuck did I bother
You’re grandad sounds like a undeniably smart fella unlike the fella in this video who was highly debatable
@@RomanvonUngernSternbergnrmfvus one was a success the other is Internet lore. You decide.
A wall of text, with one full stop and two commas.
@@sh-hg4eg page 32 of a pickle to the knowing ones
This man played life on the easiest difficulty with game tips still turned on. God really was like: "this one. I'm gonna help this one."
he said "I sent a text" im cryin
The “peper and solt it as they plese” had me dying
When dank said "Timothy put his speculator hat on" I pictured a little rainbow propeller cap
Dunce cap
Homer's telephone hat
"Now to all honest men to pity me, 35 years with a ghost"
I can't breathe LMAO