Why narcissists NEED YOU! | The Narcissists' Code Ep 1111
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- Опубликовано: 19 сен 2024
- NARCISSISTS NEED YOU! They may pretend like they don't, they may say they don't and they may even act like they don't! But the truth is YOU ARE THE PRIZE, YOU ARE THE PRECIOUS RESOURCE. Some narcissists want to convince you that you need them but it is absolutely the other way around.
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Welcome my channel! If this is your first time seeing my face or hearing my voice, my name is Lee and I am a self aware narcissist. I have narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) and I've been in therapy for my personality disorder since 2017 and it has definitely changed my life because without it, I would have lost everything.
The point of these videos is to help bring awareness from the other side of the narcissistic *buse spectrum. All my videos give perspective on why many narcissists do what they do and the possible different reasons behind them. The victims and survivors get validation and the Narcissists (those that are willing) get to see that you can get help and that you are not alone.
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Thank you so much
Everything you're saying is so true! I was so independent before meeting him...I knew who I was...now 6 years later I'm a shell of myself...I look the worst I've ever looked...6 weeks no contact and I pray for the strength that it remains that way 😢
I'm going threw the same thing sis after being with her for 17yrs .it been 2 weeks of no contact I'm praying for your continuous strength and mines as well🙏🙏
I wish you empowering strength🙏🏾💪🏾 and bravery...take care of you💜☮️
Just write down what your ex did so you will never forget how he treated you!! I have been out of my Toxic relationship almost two years now. If you don't write down your experiences you may forget some of the negative things you experienced. My ex became verbally, emotionally and physically abusive. If you don't write what you experienced it's easier for you to go back.
You got this!
It will get better I promise. Took me 90 days to detox
It’s a demonic mindset. The rollercoaster ride with a persons feelings and emotions is unreal.
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I SWEAR!!! Now I’ve taken total control over my life and made it so much better for me! Thank God I caught it in time rather than sinking for years and years and years. Them 2 years drove me man! The amount of peace now is so joyous that I get in tears because I made it. Pple really dont understand how somebody can come in, destroy the indecency of a woman/man who had it all from the jump w/no help all for them to drain you. Man that sh*t so traumatizing and hurtful but boy when you gain your life back it’s OVER!!!!! I thank God everyday for a second chance for peace & abundance!!! 🙌🏾
Absolutely, that's the only way I knew to describe it a complete roller-coaster ride!! I jumped off that roller-coaster!!! I could no longer do it!! Completely lost myself!!!!
When they are up, they thrive off the attention of others. They will even give to others before you. Then when everything dries up, they need you or realize you actually cared and expect you to still be there. They will be upset with you because they can’t find/keep better than you.
Facts
Yeah baby! 😂😂🤣🤣🤣
BAUDELAIRE 😍
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”-Charles Baudelaire
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Or “doesn’t “ exist. In fact read the scripture at 1st John chapter 5 verse 19, Gods word is true.
i used to tell my ex narcissist almost daily. “i don’t need you, you’re just a plus one.” the rage that would follow. according to him i was “always running my mouth.” when really it was just me telling him what it is. 🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾♀️
This came to me the other day. A narcissist is like a table. Without all the legs, it's useless.
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I don't need them, they need me! 🔥
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🔥🔥🔥 My ex husband literally told me multiple times “you not a prize” when I was pretty established, self-sufficient, and on my way on my career path before meeting him
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omg im so sorry! u r the prize ❤
So true she had to be on the phone or around people constantly, she would say I need reassurance I’m like wtf I’m sitting right here you want me to jump out my body so you can jump in 🤯
Foreal
You are definitely talking about my ex husband. He wants me to need him. He needs his children that he did barely anything for or with to need him. He is so sad and bitter because none of us need his sorry ass! I have never chased a man to get his validation. Thank God I don’t have low self esteem. I am grateful for this. Now, he wonders why his children don’t know or want him at all.
After a couple of months with my ex, i saw he was needy. I don't like needy men!! After our son past away, i made a pact with God that I will not sleep with him again!!
Its been over 20 years and he taught me discipline and I did not sleep with him again!!!
I had it going on before we hooked up. Once we did, I lost myself. I begged him, and he got pleasure. Once we broke up, I was so much happier. Sadly, his new supply doesn't compare but I dont care. He told me he needs me. I ignore him.
Yep they do! When me and my ex-narc were preparing to go our separate ways, he flat out told me that he was going to need me to help him out financially from time to time. I told him that I wasn't taking care of him and his household along with mine. I also told him that he would get blocked. Fast forward, after I blocked him, he would call and leave me messages saying the he needed my help. I ignored the messages. Then, at his aunt's wake/funeral, he low-key whispered to me that he needed to talk to me. I left the wake because I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. He can find someone else. He played games with the wrong person.
My ex narc, 28 days now, tells me how I have destroyed his life by taking back the truck I got for him when I caught him giving his other gf a ride home after work. Cheated on me for 4 months and I've destroyed his life, wow. He expexts me to help him get another vehicle.
@rachelmoody7147 Don't give in. They think they are entitled to you and your finances. Let him ask his gf he was giving a ride to buy him a truck. Stay strong! 💪🏾
They need you to need them because they need YOU to BE THEM.
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Their “NEED”trumps over everything when in reality it’s a WANT or strong DESIRE that a narc feels he deserves so much that they look at it as a NEED just as much as we need water and air
Because they are lonely and need multiple people to validate them to praise them to make them feel "special" . They love all the attention they can get from anyone and for everything!! They can't be alone !! I always tell him I don't need anything from him and he just says I'm delusional and even though I don't directly ask him for anything he KNOWS I want everything from him !!
Mine literally has "Special" tattooed on his chest he got after his previous relationship ended, lol.
@@nildacoble5930 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
@@nildacoble5930😂😂 my covert narcissist ex went and got "I am enough" tattooed down the back of his arm. I couldn't contain myself when I saw it. 😂😂💀💀 This man is 50yrs old, acts like a freaking 21yr old with no responsibilities. It's pathetic.
@@nildacoble5930 you should’ve said it’s not finished the forget to put ED At the end lol
@@Yoshibelle615 😂😂😂
To bad im OUT! I needed him he wasn't there for me!
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Exactly 💯 just sad
I was with this man for 6yrs, the beginning was absolutely amazing, and then over the years it faded out, he started distancing, and turned really stuck up, selfish, self absorbed, high and mighty...I put up with it, but also distanced myself too..but he was there for me. If I needed something, if the car broke down, he rescued me Everytime...I had his bank card on me 24/7, never cared what money I spent within reason, never told me no... I truly think the older the narcs get, the better they learn how to play the game. That whole 6yrs, I thought I just had a stuck up, snob of a man...till he blind sided me with a discard and threw me away like a piece of trash he'll never miss seeing again. Granted, we still live in the same home he's supposed to move out of and hasnt done it yet, but it's like living with a stranger now. Have no clue who this man is anymore. Scary, really.
I said this early on, that it was never going to work between him and I because I loved him but didn’t need him. He would say things like “you’re so independent” when I jumped my own car using a battery pack bc I could. I thought it was a compliment at the time but really it was just a statement / observation. He tried everything to get me to “need” him… offering to loan me money, to move me into his lake house, to buy me trips with friends. I made 200k a year…. I didn’t need him to support me financially. When that didnt work he tried to ingrain me in his family and get all our mutual friends on his side. The family pulled on my heart strings bc he knew I didn’t have loving parents, but he underestimated me there too. I still had great relationships with my siblings and other friendships I nurtured over years before him. In the end I cut them all out and never looked back.
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I was told on a monthly basis that if I left him I would end up alone. I always responded with, “there is nothing wrong with being alone. Maybe I want to be alone.” That would make him go crazy. I was called fat bitch while he was dating a nasty co worker he met who happend to be a personal trainer. He litterly put other women needs he had just weeks of knowing, before me who had been there helping him for years.
Imagine the love and contentment they would receive from us if they’d just let us love them. It’s nuts!
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Yup. My ex would take our car & wouldn’t help me with anything for the kids when I’d break up with him for being physically abusive. He wanted me to need him. Now he wants my daughter to need him. She’s 12 & can’t stand him. I’m sure at some point he’ll discard her bc she doesn’t help regulate his self esteem. For her, that would probably be the best thing. 😢
Exactly, my X narc husband would tell me, "you don't need me." Consequently treated me like ish.
My husband said he cheated on me because she needed him and i dont need him , i said you right about that.. go with the woman that needs you..
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I kept telling him "I was happy when I met you".
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I remember I was having an argument with my ex (for the 15 thousandth time) and I looked at her and said, I WANT you, but I don’t NEED you. The look of sheer confusion on her face confused me until about 15 minutes ago.
Wow
Its quite true.
My friends narc mother is so obsessed with her that shes creating reasons to be needed, like when she wants to cook something, most of the times her mother makes her very uncomfortable so that old woman remains in charge of all the cooking instead of letting her daughter do common grown up stuff...
Or, shes abusing her daughter mentally and financially, making her pay ridiculous amount on rent but wont let her work to make the money without constantly triggering her with her toxic behavior so she never has enough savings to just move out.
When I got a peek on what my ex narc friend was talking about me, she really was trying to make it sound like I got nobody else to talk to but her, making me look jealous and needy, she even feared I was going to harm myself because she wasnt giving me attention anymore... I shook my head to that and after I went no contact, shes been snooping around because she is clearly craving the good ol supply that I was providing her but now keep it completely private for over a year.
“(They) I need YOU to need Me” DAMN!! I’ve heard this before 😢
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Starting off needing no one else and being at the top of my game is my story too. Crazy…
Edit: just finished the video- this one is a watch and rewatch and rewatch again for sure. Thank you for your work, Lee
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After 42 years of marriage, I just realized this and then I found your videos.
I remember one time earlier in the relationship, he said. "I want you to need me." Finally free after 5 years and still the amazing person i was when i met him. If it was not for the Heavenly Father, I could not be.
Oh wow
No he needs a good job! Period
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Talk about it, Lee!!! They need us more than we need them! I'm so thankful for this healing journey. This video is super empowering!
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THANK YOU!! I'm devastated because I have no friends He walked out of my life and I'm all alone. Too many years with him And now I'm alone because he isolated me.💔❤️🩹😢😔
you’re welcome
@@MentalHealness Can you please tell me what kind of therapist do I need If I'm a borderline? Please who do I need to see?
Made it to the end of the video 🔥. Thank you so much for this, I needed this today! ❤ The narc continues to call me, text me, in no contact. I constantly have dreams with him in it and then I always know that he texts me before I even check my phone, it’s the weirdest thing ever.
🔥🔥 you’re welcome
🔥 this is so disturbing to watch, but most needed to hear because you really can be going through stuff like this and don’t know it, nor understand it. Thank You for sharing
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Lee means business this episode...oh you broke through 😂
i felt like i was being chastised 😂😂 we appreciate you Lee for always dropping these gems on us 🔥
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Since joining this channel and others to learn about NPD, music and lyrics hit different. So many hints of narcissism and narcissistic personalities in the lyrics
And another one! I don't know how you do it Lee. Yes, that quote about the devil's tricks is correct. Once I literally told my narcissists "I don't NEED you. I NEED God"...they disappeared 😄 But they had many other sources of supply so it was easy for them to go. One last thing, they also try to convince you that they gain nothing from the relationship. The relationship exists only for your benefit lol 🔥🔥🔥🔥
Is this part of why my narc mother keeps accusing me of using her? And it’s crazy how much my ex “best friend” convinced me that I needed her. SMH. This was so empowering.
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🔥So true, Lee. Before leaving, I thought about ALL that I did within the marriage and for him…way more than he did! I was the indentured servant! Definitely don’t miss him or those days. Fifteen months no contact!🙌🏾
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Having kids with this social path/narc is insane idk what to do
Codependent “empaths” are so similar to narcissists. I used to feel like I “needed” others to need me to feel valuable and worthy.
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I think this is one of your best videos. When you speak with a tremendous amount of passion, it hits different!
Wow, thank you!
@@MentalHealness You’re welcome!
Loving the passion in this one Lee!
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🔥👍🏾💯🎯🎯🔥👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🔥 Thank you! Lee💗💞. I gave them another chance 6 mths ago after leaving 5 yrs ago ...i knew all along that "I don't need them" they need me. So i'm going No Contact from May 30th... I need my peace. I am not going to change or be their NS anymore. ☮️💜💜
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I’ve been in love with my husband for 5 years, and it hurts so much now that I know what’s going on. All that I’ve done for him bc I love him. Sometimes he’s GOLDEN, he’s sweet and he’s attentive, he calls and checks on me throughout the day. He cooks, he cleans, he pays bills. But something horrible happened, and now, I have to see things as they are. I’ve discovered that, I’m just the means to an end, I have no value in and of Myself. I think that he loves how I love him, and he thinks that THAT is loving Me. I don’t actually get what I NEED, at all. Now, violence has entered the picture, and I have to exit it. 😢 He told me to my face that I’m worthless, without using those exact words. And that anything I ‘do’ to him he will REVENGE me. I have and am being punished, and I didn’t even know it until recently. So much love, time, energy, plans, and money WASTED. 😢
stay strong
My story with a birth mother And friends and a partner in the past that needed .me
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Muhammadan way on youtube, at least you can start over 😊
I feel like God gives you wisdom Lee, and analogies that help others. Thank you!
I cried in my shower just a little bit ago, so, no, I don't feel worthy.
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Stay strong
@@MentalHealness it's hard as hell!! I'm there for everyone. Just ONCE I'd like to have someone step to the plate for me. It'll never happen.
🫂🙏🏼☝🏼God sees you as a perfect creation
You are worthy
This is one of your best presentations. Awesomeness
Glad you think so!
3:27 omg this is so on point 4:04
This one was crazy good. The whole thing. You really snapped with this one
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I appreciate it
Family the worst, constantly wanting something from me. I say No, but instead of focusing on me I think of them. They need you to need them f* that make sense. ❤
Thanks bc, you drove this home. I've learned a lot about narcissisium since I had one and got discarded 8 months ago. I did feel like I needed him bc, we had 15 years together in a relationship not marriage. I never felt like he needed me... maybe wanted me or liked me but, not need. Now I know he the one needed me instead of the other way around. Wow 😲 light bulb 💡 moment there. Powerful.
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🔥🔥🔥I figured all this out on my own, I told him, calm down little man. I’m beautiful and worthy of respect and love, even at my worst I’m BETTER than you!!! He put a gun to my head and put me through so much trauma! I told him I had him figured out, so keep his tail tucked and go sit down!!! I am reminded just how beautiful and needed I am every time I walk out the door! Craziest part, I STILL don’t have hate for him, I just want him to move on!!!
I thought to myself, HOLD UP!!! Why would someone feel the need to devalue someone or something that HAS NO VALUE?! He must know my worth, therefore this is intentional. From that moment on, it was OVER!!! It took me almost 10 years to figure that out while going through it and 32 years to realize (because of all the flashbacks and connections) that I was raised in a narcissistic home! Mind you, I am 32 today. I am grateful and thankful still, because I know the people who are hardest to love, NEED IT THE MOST. But I can shine my light from ANYWHERE! He will NEVER be blessed with my presence or knowledge again!
I just realized if your being ghosted n still texting them that is a supply
So freak that ill enjoy the silence
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You don’t know just how much you have helped me through the aftermath of narc abusive. You explain things so well and the fact that you are aware of yourself and pushing this knowledge is MORE than noble. ❤❤❤❤❤
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“The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist” is a quote by Charles Baudelaire. The line is also featured in the 1995 movie The Usual Suspects, directed by Bryan Singer.
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Thank you, I needed to hear this so badly today ❤
You know - I am a giver - I know I am. If you love someone you normally want the best for him/her. BUT: A narcissist never cares about you and your needs (he/she doesn´t or can´t understand that). And they are takers - they take and take and take it all for granted. The only sentence I can write: They use people and don´t care about them. (It is all about reaching their goals - never about others). If you realize that in a person - run because it won´t get better. And: NEED = not love! Love is much more (narcissists can´t love).
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He was lucky to have me🔥🔥🔥
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Absolutely correct Mr. Lee!!! Definitely a diamond!!!
My ex needs ME! 🔥 7 years and 2 kids later... he needs ME! Verbally abusive, needy, lazy, pitiful... he needs ME! Has another baby on the way and fills her head up with the same bs but still reaching out, texting and calling me everyday... HE NEEDS ME! I NEVER needed him 🔥 I damn near forgot how pretty and smart and self sufficient and how much of a WINNER I am. I damn near forgot how genuine and sweet and soft my spirit and soul is because he hardened me soooo much these past 7 years. I've lost more than I gained with him but by myself I've always maintained and won... gained... grew!!! He needs me 🔥🔥🔥🔥
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You told me the Narc would show back up. The person sees my glow. I know I’m being watched on IG but I’m going to keep letting the person watch me win and shine. Everything in this video is the truth but I’ve mastered minded this demon. Ain’t no coming back this way. I don’t need or want the person back in my life EVER!!!! 🔥
Omg I’ve heard this before my ex has a new supply and refuses to leave me alone telling me he wants his family back just to play with my head i got people lined up but he tried to convince me that I need him omg i see it so clearly now
This was so good friend, it was ringing so loud especially when u was talking the words I’ve heard so many times. It’s so sad but true at the same time. Dealing with a Narc was a lot!!!
They need you to have someone to blame for their unhappiness. Us non-narcs also need to get past that... in order to heal
I’ve been saying for years that most anyone I meet and practically everyone I know thinks the best of me and holds me in high regard. I mean I’ve heard the nicest comments coming from others about me yet right after hearing those things, in my mind I say, but he doesn’t feel this way. I’d ask why is it that everyone sees such greatness in me, but he does not? I found myself saying the one person who should hold me in high regard actually sees the worst in me. I still stayed though. I thought he’d see me one day. I knew that wasn’t how a marriage was supposed to be, but I made so many settled in excuses that I stayed. The insidious nature is Twilight Zone like.
Amen Lee! You were preaching in this video. That cursing got my attention lol
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Some are obsessed and that's a different issue!!!
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I love you Lee!!! Thank you for being you❤ You have really helped me a lot!! I now understand what i was experiencing almost a year ago!! God gave me the strength to leave, no contact, never looked back❤ Been watching your videos since!! So amazing to have this clear understanding of the delusional foolishness, thank you😊
Love it! So true and Lee is on fire with this one!
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You're so very true! We don't need them, but a narcissist needs you!!!
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Ty for reminding me of this. I am empowered. ❤🔥
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Thank you for this! 🔥
you’re welcome
Yes this is true! That’s why I say he said this on both side of the coin, he insisted that he needed me, I was like for what? What are you after? Then say don’t you need me? So confusing, just couldn’t understand the mindset.
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😮💨 needed to hear this today. Thank you Lee!! 🔥
you’re welcome
Thank you Lee, best video ever ❤❤❤❤❤ we needed to hear this !!!!
Thank you
Yeah its crazy! My ex and I were in a long distance relationship. He never really didn’t anything for me but somehow I felt like I was so weak and needed him all the time even though he wasn’t physically, emotionally, financially there.
Literally praying for healing cause I have no idea how I allowed this to happen to me for so long.
My narc needs mecto be needy, stuck, subservient, but not the kind of need that is love based. The more he has treated me bad the more financially independent ive become. Ive become less needy for attraction too. Unfortunately he's made me feel like im not a woman, just an it. But im ready now to transform and rebuild myself. The spell has been broken!
stay empowered
My ex narc was talking about going back to live in a campus dorm room for masters at 40 yrs old😅...also going to his mom's house everyday and when i brought it up he called me "communist china"😂😂😂😂.I was like what the hell...they have a serious codependency on people and fear of being alone...
We just love you, Lee! Thank you so much and your baby girl is so adorable!!! 🩷
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Sick-seriously messed up!
Thanks for your video! I really needed to hear that today!😊
You are so welcome!
The Narcs I knew did leave me alone.
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I watched this Today. You were on Fire. I dont have Man Issues but Love listening to your Gems. Thank you brother. Sending Love and Light to you and your family, all the way from London England ❤❤❤
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Bruh I love being alone 95% of the time. Thank God I don't need empath supply 😂
He said he has depended on me. I want to see him fail for going no contact.
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Your a flame of mercy.. thankyou for raw truth
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Thank you, Lee.
It does not seem like they need you when they discard you
When they discard you they want you to chase and beg for them. They need you to make themselves feel superior (narcissistic supply). Inside they are insecure and vulnerable.
@@cherylgregory6027 that makes sence, I will not participate in giving them what they crave
The little one is adorable ❤
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🔥 my ex popped up on me at work yesterday I was so mad I didn’t just walk away I felt like I gave him to much of my energy
Stay safe
He sent me a rhianna song ‘needed me’ after I told him I don’t want anything from him anymore after I'd set a boundary and he tried to love bomb me more. Asked me to listen to it while on the phone with him the next day. Its lyrics are over and over saying you needed me and ends with her shooting and killing the guy on the end. WTF.
He claimed “not everything means something”. Yeah right! He was pissed because I he felt unneeded. When he was love bombing me he sent the most perfect songs with lyrics that were so fitting to us. There is NO WAY it meant nothing.
ruclips.net/video/wfN4PVaOU5Q/видео.htmlsi=QUVpGHULGU5UWFjH
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I just remember my Toxic ex became controlling. Yes my friends and family knew that I wasn't being myself. I lived on eggshells, a roller-coaster. It was like living with a Mr. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde. I am spending less money after getting my Toxic ex out of my house!! All of my utilities are cheaper!! I think my ex thought I wasn't going to be able to make it without him.😂😂😂😂😂😂 But I'm doing better!!
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🔥🔥🔥 thank you Lee, I'm glad i found your channel you have helped me so much.
you’re welcome 🔥🔥
I guess that's why he's acting crazy because I never run after him whenever he gave me the silent treatment. Since I started getting educating myself about narcissist, he's having a hard time with me. I blocked him everywhere and now he find my email and start threatening me, i give him more silent. I will never answer him
When I met her I didn't need her I just wanted to help her!!! I still don't need anyone I'm semi retired worked on wall st 35 yrs have decent income a good apt!! And it kills her I tried helping her but she doesn't want help!!! Yes what's funny is she always wanted me to need her!!! I believe she wants to replace me but can't and still floating around no job or her own place it's sad!!!; too bad I don't need you and she knows that and it kills!!! So done!!! Her life a mess there's nothing I can do!!! These people are sad and pathetic!!! I'm done
stay safe
So true when I used to tell my ex I don’t need you for anything he would tell me why I’m beening so mean and just let him help me
Aaww she's adorable, thanx Lee this was interesting to watch.
As a counselor myself (not taking clients) just want to say I enjoy content and share your page with people…🔥