What kills me about truly pathologically narcissistic people is even if they got everything they wanted, everyone worshipped them and never held them accountable for anything, they'd still be miserable.
Absolutely. I gave my all to my ex and it was demoralising that nothing was ever good enough. I hadn't really realised until it was over, but I often felt down/depressed/sad because I couldn't seem to get it right. She made me feel as shit about myself as she felt about herself. She needs help.
My ex would pick fights with me months before the discard. He would get rude and snarky with simple asks. It was weird, and anytime I called it out, he would go off on me. It was never that serious, but he would blow things up, and I would check him for talking to me crazy. Then he would tell me to calm down and that he wasn't trying to argue. He clearly wanted to argue. He gaslighted me and told me I was overreacting to a fight he picked with me. He is a nutjob. I am so ready to finalize this divorce and be rid of that bum.
They seem to lack insight...I learned about this not so new concept called "Weaponizing Incompetence." My mom swears she doesn't know shit, until she realizes I don't have the time or desire to play that game and she wants something done. I wonder if these people do have insight more than some realize. That's like answering the question, if they have no insight, why did my ex only yell at me when no one was around and when others were in the house he'd get irate but did it quietly. But when no one was in the house, he lost his shit and was loud as f*ck. Really? No control? Don't have insight about how that behavior will make others view him? That doesn't sound anything like lack of insight. More like lack of accountability.
@@Jahtutson I would go to such gatherings and start conversations with the people the narc respects, about the topic how I find people who cant control themselves at home to be extremely unacceptable. Those people will usually only agree on that while the narc will sit there fuming and ashamed for being indirectly called out on their behavior and their friends siding against that behavior. Theres a chance you break the narcs safety net this way because these cowards find fragile courage in enablers to start acting the way they do
My ex-husband used to say"If you don't like being with me/you don't like what I'm doing, then leave". He was a covert narc that I found out was a liar from the jump & serial cheater. So, I left. Two weeks after I was in my new apartment, he called me asking if we could be friends and if he could come over 🙄" I told him that I'm not friends with any of my exes, including him. We are co-parents and that was it. His response? " You know that you want me." My response, "no, I don't. You're hazardous to my health." It's been 2 years and he hasn't tried again. Nor has he wver been in my apartment.
that's why you discard them first and immediately go no contact bc even if they start a smear campaign if you remain silent, after a time, people start wondering why they're the only one in the relationship that's doing any badmouthing especially if they keep beating the proverbial horse so to speak long after the matter is over.
The "no reaction" really is a super power. I had no idea i was making myself unappealing to narcissists by refusing to be triggered and react to these kinds of bait. Beautifully described. You could be writing a script for some of the fights ive seen with my friends and loved ones over the years. Things just keep clicking in my head of things ive experienced in the past and will refuse to allow now and in the future.
My ex tried to make me look awful in front of my sister but it massively backfired. I got annoyed, sure, but as usual, I didn't react. She looked completely unhinged and my sister had no sympathy for her. The next day, the ex left, and that was pretty much the end of the relationship. What a strange, sad person.
Lee your videos is confirming everything I have experienced...I know better now...And i took back my will power and said No to all the manipulations..This people are pure evil 😢..
The truth is always a problem for those who live in an illusion/mental and emotional prison. Having a narc sibling who truely LOVES me was a blessing to teach me truths about myself no one else could. Everything happens for a reason. Few can get past them self to start seeing past the illusion we are all living in that seems normal because we were taught lies not the truth. Best to all healing yourselves as you are so much more then you can imagine.
Thank god you got some sleep! I have not been able to sleep for 1 week!!!! The anxiety and stress. I feel so stupid. I hope you are on your way to healing ❤
This has happened to me... At first I thought it would only apply to my ex husband... But Ive noticed it could be anybody... Even your child! All this time... I thought I was going crazy! This information has been very enlightening and helpful to me!❤
At least now I know I am not the crazy one. So many of us have been or still going through severe abuse and crazy making. I hope you all find your own path , full of joy and light cause we all deserve to live peacefully
This is exactly what im going through.. Luckily i have realised there is no reasoning with people who are looking for specific outcomes. And i accept. And walked away. choosing to focus on personal inner growth and pray: may truth save us all
It is easier for narcissists to project their negative feelings and actions onto you than to take accountability. I didn’t realize this was a thing until I realized I was dealing with narcissists. I didn’t realize I was being manipulated and gaslit. No wonder I felt like I was the problem while married to my ex-husband. I even felt confused interacting with my narcissistic father since I was young.
10:55 I actually recorded him. I finally got 1 of his horrific rages recorded. (He almost killed us in his car) I knew noone would believe how he actually was behind closed doors. The support I received from my family and friends was beyond incredible! I was moved out within 3 days!!! 🙏💖🙏 That recording saved my life!
yes Sir! what you said about triggering you on purpose in front of people. And of course when it's just me and him alone at home and we're getting along he triggers me on purpose too. I think that's how they have fun with us making us unhappy.
The ex Narc tried to make the problem in front of the deacons at church. It was insane. I showed the deacons proof of his behavior and actions. The deacons still sided with the ex Narc. I left the ex Narc and the church.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Church is the worst place to be abusive. Narc told vulnerable young people God wanted them to get married and they did so without love. Biggest disaster
Facts! I’ve had to learn this! My bd would always be like “don’t be a police Bihh” when he would get crazy with me but when I react to his BS he brings out his camera but doesn’t record how we got there. Even when I don’t react he gets crazy but no cameras record that either
Listened on Spotify already. Great episode and exactly what I needed to hear. I respect so much what you do and that you do so from your position. Thankyou.
Well my ex narc boyfriend told me one honest thing towards the end of the discard and that was it wasn't Me, It was Him. He gave me that much of the truth.
I dont agree with something i did not do wrong. I stand my ground and will not entertain that anymore 🙏🏼❤️ took me a while. It sure was not in a few weeks or months ❤️❤️
I don't let the smear campaign get to me cause In 3 yrs I only met his best mate once & family maybe 6 times which I thought was really weird. These people that his telling lies to let them believe what they want to believe cause I know the great person that I am.
Your last point is exactly what happend before his final discard. He provoked me in front of a friend group because he knew i gonna react to it. After that he packed his stuff and left. After 6 days i got replaced after 4half years of marriage and a child.💔
@MentalHealness it's an absolute nightmare to be on the receiving end, until you finally know what that thing is. Sam Vaknin was my starting point I think.
Im new to your channel and your info is great! My question is Can you point me in the direction of a video that explains Narcissism in a Brother/Sister Relationship? I swear you are saying everything that my brother is doing currently. His latest is trying to make me and my mom go against each other. I NEED HELP IN DEALING WITH HIM! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE...IM EXHAUSTED.😔😶
Funny thing is All her friends and family see me as the bad guy So......I don't have anything to lose. Going super nova empath and I will force the truth out of her. Because the relationship is now done....but she will confess She even said to me once what do you expect me to repent or something? Actually. Yes !
Talk the two things you must remember is that the narcissists require validation and hate accountability. They do all of those bad things to you for both. What they say about you is oftentimes how they feel about themselves. A sore losing failure. So let me suck the life out of them to feed me says the narc.
OMG. 23 YEARS WITH MY SPOUSE. HE TRIES THE SAME ISH. I LOVE TELLING HIM HE IS " SHAMEFUL" OR FULL OF SHAME. I USE THAT WORD A LOT. I CALL HIM NEGLECTFUL NARCISSIST HE GOES BALLISTIC!! THEN I USED THE SAME ISH HE USING ON ME OMG TALK ABOUT CRAZY! HE IS A NEGLECTFUL NARCISSIST TO THE CORE. TEXT BOOK. NEVER TAKES ACCOUNTABILITY.
@@MaroonRose3216 man you not the one that started it and I do understand lava get away lol but you can’t tell me right then and there somebody try hurt you you not gone protect or defender you’reslf
My wife has convinced my children that im a bad father and husband even though we live together and she is the one that has cheated and has 2 boyfriends
What kills me about truly pathologically narcissistic people is even if they got everything they wanted, everyone worshipped them and never held them accountable for anything, they'd still be miserable.
never happy
This is to much even as much as I search I feel I’ll never understand why.
Sooo true!
Absolutely. I gave my all to my ex and it was demoralising that nothing was ever good enough. I hadn't really realised until it was over, but I often felt down/depressed/sad because I couldn't seem to get it right. She made me feel as shit about myself as she felt about herself. She needs help.
@@MikeJackson690I'm glad she's your ex.
My husband’s favorite thing is to do is complain about the house being a mess even when it’s not. He finds something to complain about.
But yet you (HIM) made the mess or home all day (retired) and don’t clean 🤦🏾♀️
My ex would pick fights with me months before the discard. He would get rude and snarky with simple asks. It was weird, and anytime I called it out, he would go off on me. It was never that serious, but he would blow things up, and I would check him for talking to me crazy. Then he would tell me to calm down and that he wasn't trying to argue. He clearly wanted to argue. He gaslighted me and told me I was overreacting to a fight he picked with me. He is a nutjob. I am so ready to finalize this divorce and be rid of that bum.
They seem to lack insight about causality:
They dont understand that some consequences LOGICALLY FOLLOW THEIR INITIAL ACTIONS ...
They seem to lack insight...I learned about this not so new concept called "Weaponizing Incompetence." My mom swears she doesn't know shit, until she realizes I don't have the time or desire to play that game and she wants something done.
I wonder if these people do have insight more than some realize. That's like answering the question, if they have no insight, why did my ex only yell at me when no one was around and when others were in the house he'd get irate but did it quietly. But when no one was in the house, he lost his shit and was loud as f*ck. Really? No control? Don't have insight about how that behavior will make others view him? That doesn't sound anything like lack of insight.
More like lack of accountability.
@@Jahtutson I would go to such gatherings and start conversations with the people the narc respects, about the topic how I find people who cant control themselves at home to be extremely unacceptable. Those people will usually only agree on that while the narc will sit there fuming and ashamed for being indirectly called out on their behavior and their friends siding against that behavior. Theres a chance you break the narcs safety net this way because these cowards find fragile courage in enablers to start acting the way they do
Omg yes. Don't focus on why I have done to you let's focus on your insane reaction.
🙌🏾🙌🏾
Omg this is it!!! It will make you go crazy
You're the ONLY narcissist on this planet that I like.
You should meet my cat…
My ex-husband used to say"If you don't like being with me/you don't like what I'm doing, then leave". He was a covert narc that I found out was a liar from the jump & serial cheater. So, I left. Two weeks after I was in my new apartment, he called me asking if we could be friends and if he could come over 🙄" I told him that I'm not friends with any of my exes, including him. We are co-parents and that was it. His response? " You know that you want me." My response, "no, I don't. You're hazardous to my health." It's been 2 years and he hasn't tried again. Nor has he wver been in my apartment.
that's why you discard them first and immediately go no contact bc even if they start a smear campaign if you remain silent, after a time, people start wondering why they're the only one in the relationship that's doing any badmouthing especially if they keep beating the proverbial horse so to speak long after the matter is over.
💯
The "no reaction" really is a super power. I had no idea i was making myself unappealing to narcissists by refusing to be triggered and react to these kinds of bait. Beautifully described. You could be writing a script for some of the fights ive seen with my friends and loved ones over the years. Things just keep clicking in my head of things ive experienced in the past and will refuse to allow now and in the future.
‼️‼️
My ex tried to make me look awful in front of my sister but it massively backfired. I got annoyed, sure, but as usual, I didn't react. She looked completely unhinged and my sister had no sympathy for her.
The next day, the ex left, and that was pretty much the end of the relationship. What a strange, sad person.
Lee your videos is confirming everything I have experienced...I know better now...And i took back my will power and said No to all the manipulations..This people are pure evil 😢..
Literally he would blame me for his unhappiness and when he was cheating on me 😐
💯💯 nothing will be good enough for narcs..period!
💯💯
💯💯💯💯
The truth is always a problem for those who live in an illusion/mental and emotional prison. Having a narc sibling who truely LOVES me was a blessing to teach me truths about myself no one else could. Everything happens for a reason. Few can get past them self to start seeing past the illusion we are all living in that seems normal because we were taught lies not the truth. Best to all healing yourselves as you are so much more then you can imagine.
Well said
They are happy when everyone around is miserable. Stay away from them.
I give them no reaction and silence because they evolve off of trying to make you react so you can be looked at as the bad person
Woke up in tears.... Needed this...❤
♥️💪🏽
Thank god you got some sleep! I have not been able to sleep for 1 week!!!! The anxiety and stress. I feel so stupid.
I hope you are on your way to healing ❤
This has happened to me... At first I thought it would only apply to my ex husband... But Ive noticed it could be anybody... Even your child! All this time... I thought I was going crazy! This information has been very enlightening and helpful to me!❤
Oh wow!
I know what you are saying and you are right. Dog whistling happened a lot when I was married. 31 yrs. divorced.
At least now I know I am not the crazy one. So many of us have been or still going through severe abuse and crazy making. I hope you all find your own path , full of joy and light cause we all deserve to live peacefully
Pure evil. Such liars.
💯
Yes
Lee, u are 100% right.
Can you do a video on having a mom as a narcissist?
This is exactly what im going through..
Luckily i have realised there is no reasoning with people who are looking for specific outcomes. And i accept. And walked away. choosing to focus on personal inner growth and pray: may truth save us all
stay strong
So glad to be aware of this now, I really appreciate what you do. 🙏🏼
🙏🏽💪🏽
Wow, you are AWESOME. I have to show my husband your content. He does this ALL THE TIME.
It is easier for narcissists to project their negative feelings and actions onto you than to take accountability. I didn’t realize this was a thing until I realized I was dealing with narcissists. I didn’t realize I was being manipulated and gaslit. No wonder I felt like I was the problem while married to my ex-husband. I even felt confused interacting with my narcissistic father since I was young.
10:55 I actually recorded him. I finally got 1 of his horrific rages recorded. (He almost killed us in his car) I knew noone would believe how he actually was behind closed doors. The support I received from my family and friends was beyond incredible! I was moved out within 3 days!!! 🙏💖🙏 That recording saved my life!
I LOVED the 'pastor' Hammock...! 💯💯💯😁😁😁
yes Sir! what you said about triggering you on purpose in front of people. And of course when it's just me and him alone at home and we're getting along he triggers me on purpose too. I think that's how they have fun with us making us unhappy.
The ex Narc tried to make the problem in front of the deacons at church. It was insane. I showed the deacons proof of his behavior and actions. The deacons still sided with the ex Narc. I left the ex Narc and the church.🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄
Church is the worst place to be abusive. Narc told vulnerable young people God wanted them to get married and they did so without love. Biggest disaster
Facts! I’ve had to learn this! My bd would always be like “don’t be a police Bihh” when he would get crazy with me but when I react to his BS he brings out his camera but doesn’t record how we got there. Even when I don’t react he gets crazy but no cameras record that either
Thats the worst part of it, especially when they do this from childhood on. Issue is you loose everyone, been through it a view times
💯
My mother is this way she just told me that my oldest daughter who is 8 is a better daughter than I have ever been my whole life
Listened on Spotify already. Great episode and exactly what I needed to hear. I respect so much what you do and that you do so from your position. Thankyou.
💪🏽 Thank you
Hello love your work
Thank you so much 😀
In the midst of chaos he’d almost whisper so the chaos would quiet and he could now be heard.
😮💨
Amen preach pastor Hammock YESSSSS😢😢😂😂❤❤❤❤
😂😂💪🏽
Well my ex narc boyfriend told me one honest thing towards the end of the discard and that was it wasn't Me, It was Him. He gave me that much of the truth.
They are fucked in the head and destined for loneliness. A sad existence.
Obsessed w the preaching!😂😂😂😂💯💯💯
😂😂😂
So true
I dont agree with something i did not do wrong. I stand my ground and will not entertain that anymore 🙏🏼❤️ took me a while. It sure was not in a few weeks or months ❤️❤️
Thank you sooo much for covering this 💡💡💡-Xclusyph Icon
I don't let the smear campaign get to me cause In 3 yrs I only met his best mate once & family maybe 6 times which I thought was really weird. These people that his telling lies to let them believe what they want to believe cause I know the great person that I am.
😂😅😂😅Rev! Rev! Revl Reverend Hammond!!! The preacher man finally came out!!😂(My logo ➡️) FOREVER BLOCKED NO CONTACT..PERIOT!🙌
😂
Your last point is exactly what happend before his final discard. He provoked me in front of a friend group because he knew i gonna react to it. After that he packed his stuff and left. After 6 days i got replaced after 4half years of marriage and a child.💔
🙌🏾 stay strong
He would literally blame me for everything especially if he did something after I said he disappointed me
That is called reactive abuse, properly speaking
🤕
@MentalHealness it's an absolute nightmare to be on the receiving end, until you finally know what that thing is. Sam Vaknin was my starting point I think.
Im new to your channel and your info is great! My question is Can you point me in the direction of a video that explains Narcissism in a Brother/Sister Relationship? I swear you are saying everything that my brother is doing currently. His latest is trying to make me and my mom go against each other. I NEED HELP IN DEALING WITH HIM! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE...IM EXHAUSTED.😔😶
stay strong
I always got up and moved away from him
🙏🏽
You killing me..
🫣
This narc has misrepresented me thru the whole relationship to the other supply!!! I need help out of this nonsense!!!
Smear campaign=Rumors
Smear Campaign=Tho Shade
(My logo ➡️) FOREVER BLOCKED NO CONTACT..PERIOT!🙌
🙏🏽
How to control reaction? With anyone, not just narcs
Be aware of people’s intentions, nip trouble in the bud, and avoid people or situations that may trigger you if you are not prepared to be triggered.
🙂↔️
I wouldn't react to my ex narc friends attempts so she made up bs to misrepresent me and mock me instead anyway
Funny thing is
All her friends and family see me as the bad guy
So......I don't have anything to lose. Going super nova empath and I will force the truth out of her.
Because the relationship is now done....but she will confess
She even said to me once what do you expect me to repent or something?
Actually.
Yes !
Talk the two things you must remember is that the narcissists require validation and hate accountability. They do all of those bad things to you for both. What they say about you is oftentimes how they feel about themselves. A sore losing failure. So let me suck the life out of them to feed me says the narc.
😂😂😂you betta preach 😂😂😂😂
Lawd after the pseudo sermon the doors of the church are open lol
Hahaha preacher hammock 😂
OMG. 23 YEARS WITH MY SPOUSE. HE TRIES THE SAME ISH. I LOVE TELLING HIM HE IS " SHAMEFUL" OR FULL OF SHAME. I USE THAT WORD A LOT. I CALL HIM NEGLECTFUL NARCISSIST HE GOES BALLISTIC!! THEN I USED THE SAME ISH HE USING ON ME OMG TALK ABOUT CRAZY! HE IS A NEGLECTFUL NARCISSIST TO THE CORE. TEXT BOOK. NEVER TAKES ACCOUNTABILITY.
😂 not the preacher
😂😂
YOUUUUUU🎶🎶🎶🎶🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Smile 😁 Lee Hammock, do I have setup? I am appointment with or you 🤙🏻 call 🤔?? Or how it? Laura Guerra ✌🏻🧘🏻♀️😉🦋👍🏻
Like & Sub yall
🙌🏾
@@MentalHealness Your Welcome, Kind Regards
We can’t have a reaction to what they put use throw so what the hell we gone do 👀
Get them away from you.
@@MaroonRose3216 man you not the one that started it and I do understand lava get away lol but you can’t tell me right then and there somebody try hurt you you not gone protect or defender you’reslf
@@MaroonRose3216 he told me when I react he have a more reaction like you a big time narcissist …
@@tonibanks5458 they will definitely try to set you up in that way. They call it the double bind. But you have to use your head and be 2 steps ahead.
🤨
My wife has convinced my children that im a bad father and husband even though we live together and she is the one that has cheated and has 2 boyfriends
😫😫
Mmmmmmmm
🫣
@@MentalHealness when I say that it's me saying a mess. 🤣🤣🤣