The Worst Writing I've Encountered: Kylie and Kendall's Sci-Fi Book

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  • Опубликовано: 28 июн 2024
  • Yeah this... this was wow.... holy no. No no no. No.
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Комментарии • 536

  • @DanielGreeneReviews
    @DanielGreeneReviews  29 дней назад +33

    Big thank you to Squarespace for sponsoring today's video. Be sure to checkout www.squarespace.com/danielgreene

    • @michaeleggimann106
      @michaeleggimann106 28 дней назад +2

      Yay square space. A patron to many of my favorites

  • @orcanimal
    @orcanimal 29 дней назад +934

    Rest assured the KK sisters did as much actual writing on this book as one would be able to credit a keyboard when typing out a grocery list.

    • @f0rth3l0v30fchr15t
      @f0rth3l0v30fchr15t 29 дней назад +72

      I mean, they get all the credit for the way they look when it was plastic surgeons who did all the work, so this is right in their wheelhouse.

    • @xidarian
      @xidarian 29 дней назад +57

      You'd assume that but why hire such a shitty ghost writer?

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 29 дней назад

      ​@@xidarian the bimbos probably used ai ounce they found out all they had to do was mindlessly spread their plastic cheeks and sheet all over their keyboard to get a "novel"

    • @Wineoclockbookworm
      @Wineoclockbookworm 29 дней назад +16

      ​just a wild guess but maybe because they have no taste?

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 29 дней назад

      @@Wineoclockbookworm and no brains

  • @nhart5132
    @nhart5132 28 дней назад +324

    "Don't you know, my family is very, very, very important, therefore I matter." That pretty much says it all... 😂😂😂

    • @recon_fpv
      @recon_fpv 28 дней назад +5

      ^self-important

  • @hannahbrennan2131
    @hannahbrennan2131 29 дней назад +318

    These celebrities were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't stop to think whether they should.

    • @skylark7921
      @skylark7921 29 дней назад +19

      Honestly maybe invert the quote. They were so focused on it they *should* sell a book, they didn’t stop to wonder if they actually *could* make anything worth reading

    • @smuu1996
      @smuu1996 28 дней назад +1

      @@skylark7921 Eh, those ghost writers sometimes do a good job, sometimes they don't...

    • @tomascorona71
      @tomascorona71 20 дней назад +1

      @@hannahbrennan2131 nice reference to doctor Malcolm.

    • @rangerstedfast
      @rangerstedfast 15 дней назад

      Clever girl...

    • @ChuffedLemon
      @ChuffedLemon 5 дней назад +2

      Bold of you to assume that any thought on their behalf was at all involved 😅

  • @JamesTullos
    @JamesTullos 29 дней назад +542

    I forgot this book existed. It has a *sequel* too.

    • @fearjunkie
      @fearjunkie 29 дней назад +42

      OH GOD.

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 29 дней назад +23

      ​@@fearjunkieAI has gone to far

    • @vamsiampolu8438
      @vamsiampolu8438 28 дней назад +13

      I would watch a show where the two of you critique a terrible book

    • @cbob213
      @cbob213 28 дней назад

      @@vamsiampolu8438that’s what this is. Why do people still equate things to old tv shows lol

    • @samuelleask1132
      @samuelleask1132 28 дней назад +2

      😮😮😮

  • @aaronharvey5625
    @aaronharvey5625 29 дней назад +391

    I like to think the sentence cadence is fucked because Kendall would write half a sentence and then pass it to Kylie to finish the sentence.
    (They definitely had a ghostwriter and did not write a syllable if this book.)

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 29 дней назад +18

      Probably used AI as even the most brainless of the world can smear their unwashed cheeks across a keyboard and get a novel

    • @notyourdad
      @notyourdad 28 дней назад +10

      @@rubytiger13 Give an AI a short summary for a story and a structure to follow and it will give you a very solid outline. Prompt it to write scenes based on that outline and it will produce better work than this.

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 28 дней назад

      @@notyourdad so your saying that anyone with even the lowest functioning down syndrome could use AI to make a better story

    • @EvelyntMild
      @EvelyntMild 27 дней назад +13

      Their ghost writer was Maya Sloan. Never heard of her, but google says she's an award winning author. I'm convinced that award was for perfect attendence in middle school. Dotdotdot

    • @notyourdad
      @notyourdad 24 дня назад +2

      @@Midori_Seabreeze This book came out a decade ago.

  • @samhunt6300
    @samhunt6300 29 дней назад +212

    This certainly raises my confidence that I am not as incompetent as I thought.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 28 дней назад +4

      Ikr! 😂 it's also quite alarming that a professional ghost writer would churn this out. I'm not sure how surprised I am that the publishing house's editor(s) let this through...

    • @mEmory______
      @mEmory______ 27 дней назад +5

      It does tge opposite fir me. Am i doing this bad???? 😰

    • @KarlKristofferJohnsson
      @KarlKristofferJohnsson 18 дней назад

      ​@@mEmory______ I'm sure you don't.

    • @MrWepx-hy6sn
      @MrWepx-hy6sn 17 дней назад

      Same, like listening to Dan reading this and looking at my own shit actually boosts my morale

    • @Slipfish
      @Slipfish 14 дней назад

      @@swordablaze9259 They let it through because they knew the names attached would make it sell more than tens of thousands of well written novels did.

  • @skybreaker7966
    @skybreaker7966 29 дней назад +139

    Seems like a clear case of "Editor and publisher didn't want to piss off celebrities"

    • @thecrispymaster
      @thecrispymaster 28 дней назад +17

      More likely a case of "we're going to pay our ghost writer so little that they'll have to put the whole thing together in two weeks to make in any way economically viable for them".

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 28 дней назад +18

      It's more like "This is guaranteed to sell regardless of quality so why bother spending money editing?"

  • @drewtheunspoken3988
    @drewtheunspoken3988 29 дней назад +288

    They are genuine inspirations! They have shown that you don't need skill or talent to get your novel published. You just have to be famous and have lots of money.

    • @JoeAuerbach
      @JoeAuerbach 29 дней назад +19

      Not entirely true. You can self publish without talent OR fame. I certainly did it!

    • @rubytiger13
      @rubytiger13 29 дней назад +14

      And with AI all you have to do is spread your unwashed cheeks and render your keyboard brown to get a novel of this calliber

    • @drewtheunspoken3988
      @drewtheunspoken3988 29 дней назад

      @@JoeAuerbach I haven't read your work, but I'd be willing to bet it's 10X's better than the overpriced toilet paper those girls put out.

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 28 дней назад +2

      Yeah, it's either talent or already famous that trads seem to go for. The famous don't have to be talented - just bring an almost guarenteed audience to the table. Self publishing is an entirely different game and more or less anyone can publish this way.

    • @AkaSora96
      @AkaSora96 26 дней назад +7

      Hell, you don't even need to actually write it

  • @MasterHigure
    @MasterHigure 27 дней назад +80

    Each sentence has exactly six words. This makes the book quite monotonous. Reading out loud would catch it. But if you don't you don't. Then you're stuck with this shit. Like reading bullet points off slides. The same cadence all the time. Not a single hint of variation. It gets boring after a while. Sounds like a constant sine wave. You wish they did something else. Made some music with their language. But no, we can't have that. You get six words per sentence. No more, no less, always six. Books shouldn't be written like this. But sadly they are some times. It's very very very very bad.

    • @Sweetheartstoryreviews
      @Sweetheartstoryreviews 24 дня назад +7

      @@MasterHigure The fact that you managed that was impressive. See? I couldn't even do it.

    • @MasterHigure
      @MasterHigure 24 дня назад +8

      @@Sweetheartstoryreviews It did take quite some effort. But you get used to it.

    • @generalbradley6421
      @generalbradley6421 14 дней назад

      Lmaoo

    • @MrJohnMarbles
      @MrJohnMarbles 7 дней назад +1

      well done

    • @saramcghee8689
      @saramcghee8689 День назад

      @@MasterHigure That was so good! 😆

  • @HelloFutureMe
    @HelloFutureMe 28 дней назад +217

    I think the most I've done is about 46 hours. I know I've never broken 50. But yeah, it's weird to feel c o g n i t i v e b r e a k d o w n in real time

    • @chrisnorris1987
      @chrisnorris1987 27 дней назад +12

      In the Ultrarunning community, there are people hitting well over 100 hours at last man standing races, and other long format races. I've raced 60+ hours a couple of times and can confirm it's very psychedelic. Reality fades to waking dreams.

    • @EvelyntMild
      @EvelyntMild 27 дней назад +14

      I hit about 72 hours once. The shadow people seemed nice enough, but I could never quite hear what they were saying...dotdotdot

    • @AndrewThoesen
      @AndrewThoesen 26 дней назад +4

      I've done 43 hours without sleep and it is indeed trippy. Would not recommend.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 26 дней назад +5

      ​@@chrisnorris1987 I watched a video a while back of someone doing an ultra marathon and he had a 'spotter' (can't recall exactly what it was called, but someone who ran with him for bits at a time). At some point near the end, he would just be asking the spotter 'are you seeing that too?', 'is this really there?' and other stuff like that. It's a wild 'hobby', that's for sure!

    • @kamranm946
      @kamranm946 24 дня назад

      @@chrisnorris1987 some ultrarunner (I think Courtney Dauwalter?) made a shirt with pictures of a bunch of her hallucinations, but I can't find it now

  • @DenDave_
    @DenDave_ 29 дней назад +208

    Well, of all people that could've written a sci-fi novel, these two surely are the last i would ever have expected it from.

    • @billyalarie929
      @billyalarie929 28 дней назад +6

      Well, you were right!

    • @pRahvi0
      @pRahvi0 28 дней назад +8

      Evidently, they were about the last who ever should have.

    • @jamesmacleod9382
      @jamesmacleod9382 28 дней назад +2

      Hell is freezing over.

    • @siisti81
      @siisti81 28 дней назад +3

      nah cuz they still haven't, so you're good

    • @IAteFire
      @IAteFire 28 дней назад +5

      They couldn’t do it, which is why they hired a ghostwriter to do it for them!

  • @JESSEverything
    @JESSEverything 29 дней назад +104

    72 hours? If I miss sleep one night I feel like an absolute crackhead.

  • @archaeologydad3761
    @archaeologydad3761 29 дней назад +119

    8:44 can confirm this is a conversation you would have with your Uber driver in Boston while driving past a construction site. "Yeah, you hear 'bout that guy got killed here last week? Ton of bricks fell on him, killed instantly"

    • @WankiTank
      @WankiTank 18 дней назад +4

      I read that in Bill Burr's voice (thank you auto correct for changing it into bill butt)

  • @tait4508
    @tait4508 28 дней назад +76

    The drop in quality from the prologue (which wasn't terrible) to the actual chapters (which were quite terrible) is staggering.

    • @WankiTank
      @WankiTank 18 дней назад +3

      same thought! I was like, oh but... this is entertaining.
      but man, the middle chapter.

  • @Nasser851000
    @Nasser851000 29 дней назад +245

    This book makes Wizard'sFirst Rule look like Memory of Light 😆

    • @xidarian
      @xidarian 29 дней назад +11

      I don't think wizards first rule is that badly written it's just ham handedly misogynistic and gross.

    • @jackwriter1908
      @jackwriter1908 29 дней назад +4

      ​@@xidarian i mean you could consider these qualities as bad, if you don't like reading that kind of thing...

    • @mpnothanks
      @mpnothanks 28 дней назад +4

      Goodkind did seem like a massive tool, but I did end up finishing the last of the 26 books last month and I found it entertaining enough. I had the good fortune of reading that first before Wheel of Time, which I’m on now.

    • @JC-qp8hj
      @JC-qp8hj 28 дней назад +2

      @@mpnothanksit was entertaining when I was 15. I remember thinking Temple of the Winds was awesome. But now that I’ve read a lot more I can see just how derivative Goodkind was to the point of almost outright stealing. Plus his derision of the fantasy genre and his Ayn Rand love letters are so obvious that it’s bad now looking back as an adult. It’s well-written prose wise but I agree with all of Daniel’s points about Wizards First Rule and it doesn’t really change throughout the series that I remember. Tbf I stopped after book 9 though

    • @mpnothanks
      @mpnothanks 28 дней назад

      @@JC-qp8hj Oh, for sure. I literally only started the books because I saw the TV show and was curious, no other context. I also have never DNFed anything so I was locked in, lol. As far as the Randian philosophy, FotF was so absurd and over the top that I was able to disconnect it from any real world comparison. Series ended up just being kinda junk food, but I was definitely looking forward to starting WoT and seeing what the hype was about.

  • @eire3339
    @eire3339 29 дней назад +54

    It's like they listened to Red Rising and said "I can do that." But my mamma always said to say something nice. So, books like this make me respect actual authors even more.

    • @Johngradycole
      @Johngradycole 13 дней назад

      @@eire3339 haha I appreciate this

  • @nathanhall9345
    @nathanhall9345 28 дней назад +43

    The thing that baffles me is the co-author. Because if this was just them, I get it. It absolutely reads like a first story. Ask any author published today, and the first thing they wrote reads like this, or worse. I shudder to think of my first book being seen by anyone, ever.
    But most people spend a good 5-10 years learning before we actually publish anything. Most of us face adversity and failure and rejection. We persist. And that hones us.
    Now imagine being guaranteed a deal on the very first thing you write, because it will sell. Skipping the line. And in the process, hobbling yourself.

  • @redvalkyrie84
    @redvalkyrie84 28 дней назад +36

    There is a reason that sleep deprivation is used to torture people. AND why they tell new mothers to not throw their babies - lack of sleep makes you a completely different person.

  • @robwoodring9437
    @robwoodring9437 19 дней назад +19

    Those girls' literacy was formed in the texting age.
    You know their editor spent a 40-hour week just red-lining all the mistaken uses of there/their/they're. The second full week was devoted only to making sure the book HAD punctuation.

  • @skoogproductions7497
    @skoogproductions7497 29 дней назад +51

    It reads like they dictated the book but when their co-writer tried to expand upon their thoughts they got offended and stopped them 😂

  • @Liesmith424
    @Liesmith424 28 дней назад +55

    This video expanded my eyeballs.

  • @drummerguy438
    @drummerguy438 28 дней назад +39

    I couldn’t have asked for a bigger confidence boost in my own writing. Thank you for suffering through this

  • @Verdictus13
    @Verdictus13 29 дней назад +72

    As someone who was once up for a week straight without chemical assistance, can confirm you start to hallucinate a couple days in. Can not recommend.

    • @dewed1487
      @dewed1487 28 дней назад +5

      Go on, give us some stories!

    • @Raikeran
      @Raikeran 28 дней назад +1

      what happened?

    • @swordablaze9259
      @swordablaze9259 28 дней назад +1

      Woah! What happened? How and why were you up so long?

    • @pippaschroeder9660
      @pippaschroeder9660 12 дней назад +1

      Dang hope your taking care of yourself and getting the sleep you need now

  • @perteadsf4914
    @perteadsf4914 29 дней назад +52

    If they were like "Hey, we're beginning writers so don't expect anything from this book." it would all be fine. But no, this was marketed as an actually publishing-worthy book. No. Just No.

  • @lordphinix3
    @lordphinix3 29 дней назад +83

    I hope my writing isnt this bad, but I really worry it is.
    At least its not published.

    • @mittag983
      @mittag983 28 дней назад +7

      Mine is worse lmao it's so full and makes zero sense if writing is fun to you keep on 😂

    • @recon_fpv
      @recon_fpv 28 дней назад +8

      The trick is keep writing. It'll continue to suck, but eventually you may do something great after a few years.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 26 дней назад +6

      It doesn't matter if it's bad, as long as you're working on improving. Very few people start out good. Writing is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice and repetition to get better at it. Just keep writing, let people read your stuff, and be open to constructive criticism.

    • @matthewkincanon9674
      @matthewkincanon9674 10 дней назад

      Same. I have a partial manuscript I haven’t touched in a few years and I’m scared to read it (especially my dialogue).

    • @zabbio
      @zabbio 8 дней назад

      Same, I worry about my manuscript. I hear everywhere that "your first book will suck" but I'm almost done with the first draft and I feel like it's fairly solid.. I look forward to reading it and revising it and make sure everything holds up logically. I've read a large portion of it for a friend who always wants to hear more... I know it's a friend and friends are rarely good critics, but..
      I'm more worried that I don't feel like its crap than if it would feel like crap. That probably means I'm blinded by bad taste.. 😂😅

  • @Idontcare5225
    @Idontcare5225 26 дней назад +8

    "We're approaching some dialogue" should NOT be a sentence a reader has to utter aloud or even deign to think while reading. Lordy...

  • @rvantong
    @rvantong 28 дней назад +29

    Who needs alcohol? Apparently this book has the same effect on your brain as a gallon of tequila

  • @swordablaze9259
    @swordablaze9259 28 дней назад +14

    "First drafts are meant to suck" - this is commom advice in the writing community. But you're not supposed to publish that without edits... 😆

  • @jackwriter1908
    @jackwriter1908 29 дней назад +50

    _Andrew could see Blood streaming from his face and even worse, an eye missing._
    You can feel how they planned on putting a dramatic *dum dum duuuuum* into it.
    I don't know why, but that sentence sounds so bad 😂

    • @TheInfamousRoo
      @TheInfamousRoo 28 дней назад +4

      Maybe cause it sounds like his attention was drawn first to the blood rather than the gaping hole in the dudes face?

    • @TheHonourableFool
      @TheHonourableFool 28 дней назад +2

      It's the "Andrew could see" which is a common writing mistake among new writers. The writer wants to reinforce that you are perceiving things through the character, but instead makes an active scene passive by distancing us from the moment. Andrew can turn at the commotion and see one of his workers stumbling forward. "Blood was streaming from his face and his eye was missing." Further rewording would make it more visceral for the audience, but even with this minor edit you get a much stronger reaction. Something their ghost writer should have known to correct if she was any good, or else they just controlled what she wrote too tightly. That's all I can imagine.

    • @TheInfamousRoo
      @TheInfamousRoo 27 дней назад +1

      @@TheHonourableFool its also possible it was on a horrifically short schedule so the ghost writer was basically writing at sanderson pacing with no time to go back and clean it up

    • @TheHonourableFool
      @TheHonourableFool 27 дней назад +4

      @@TheInfamousRoo also very true! I hesitate to lay any blame on her, considering the egos she had to work with.

    • @meikusje
      @meikusje 26 дней назад

      ​@@TheHonourableFool even just splitting the sentence into two would make it better. 'Andrew could see blood streaming from his face. Even worse, an eye was missing.' The way the sentence is written in the original makes it sound like a 'and then, and then' situation.

  • @Silmarien_
    @Silmarien_ 27 дней назад +8

    Daniel, I had a depressing day today, I was very sad and crying, and nothing could give me joy. You can’t imagine how much this video has lifted my mood! I began to smile and laugh at the sounds of your contagious laughter! From the bottom of my heart, thank you 🤍

  • @siosinsin7305
    @siosinsin7305 20 дней назад +3

    After everything you read i still have no idea what's happening in any of the scenes. Thats honestly a SKILL.

  • @tiredcrazyman21
    @tiredcrazyman21 28 дней назад +10

    Im a vision technician, and if your eyeballs are EXPANDING, then you are having some serious issues.

  • @Kim_Miller
    @Kim_Miller 28 дней назад +15

    This was pretty painful to listen to. But it reminded me of something else. Twenty years ago a group of authors got together to write a collaborative novel that was so bad it would be unpublishable. They took turns filling in chapters without reference to the previous one, resulting in characters changing from one page to the next, plot points disappearing, and more. It was called Atlanta Nights, and you can find it easily these days. They submitted it to a vanity publisher who advertised as only accepting high quality manuscripts. It was accepted without question. Then the writers pointed out the reality and the publisher had to back track very quickly. It was then published on Lulu under the author name, Travis Tea. Chase up the Wiki page on it, it's a total scream to read. It's a bad book written by experts.

  • @deedaceopondo3520
    @deedaceopondo3520 20 дней назад +5

    And I quote: 'you built this empire but...YEEET!'

  • @RubenRodriguez-co9jx
    @RubenRodriguez-co9jx 28 дней назад +29

    Come on Daniel, I can't believe you've never felt your eyeballs expand. You're missing out.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 28 дней назад +1

      Sounds painful.

  • @julio726
    @julio726 28 дней назад +17

    This was so incredibly hard to follow. I can’t imagine the sort of torture people underwent to finish.

  • @yusufkadar
    @yusufkadar 27 дней назад +5

    This reminds me of those pictures that seem normal at first but, when you actually look at them, you can't identify a single object. Like, I know these are English words that have meaning, but I don't understand any of it.

  • @SammieMousie
    @SammieMousie 28 дней назад +16

    I'm with you on drinking. The older I get the less it appeals to me and it never really appealed to me to begin with.
    Also Kudos to you for even trying to read the book. I wouldn't have bothered.

  • @robinblake7845
    @robinblake7845 27 дней назад +8

    Every time Daniel read the name Longhorn, all I could think was Foghorn Leghorn. So, I kept imagining this mentor character as a giant rooster. I can't decide if this made the story better or worse.

  • @caitbeck100
    @caitbeck100 28 дней назад +14

    So the book was written in 2014. I think that means they were 17 and 19? I mean that abomination has no business being published but they were young so that can explain why it was so bad.

  • @rhonwenbaker2448
    @rhonwenbaker2448 28 дней назад +11

    1) Can you imagine being the editor on this?
    2) I'm morbidly curious as to whether this... prose?... reflects their irl thoughts.
    ---
    edt: oh, yes, the sleep thing. Going without for multiple days will leave lasting psychological damage and can actually lead to psychosis iirc.

  • @Marco_Onyxheart
    @Marco_Onyxheart 28 дней назад +16

    This prose is so bad, I cannot process the text at all. And I'm not even dyslexic. And am listening to Daniel read it.

  • @ladyjatheist2763
    @ladyjatheist2763 28 дней назад +8

    did 104 hours on a dare at 21 yrs old... was beyond delirious. Slept for 2 days afterward.

  • @GreyMarlfox
    @GreyMarlfox 29 дней назад +25

    It sounds like they wrote lines then went back in with a thesaurus to try and "fancy" it up. Stuff like expanding eyeballs instead of something like eyes going wide in shock.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 28 дней назад +4

      I don't think it was a thesaurus

    • @BigDaddyJinx
      @BigDaddyJinx 5 дней назад

      I'd suspect they wrote precisely zero lines. The only thing they wrote were prompts for generative AI. I'm fully expecting that this is a 100% AI effort. I'd actually and legitimately hate to believe that human beings could possibly write this poorly. I refuse to believe that a human wrote this trash. I mean, I get that fare like 50 Shades looks like it was written by a 12 year old hopped up on meth and pizza pockets, but this is next level garbage.

  • @lovefromshirley
    @lovefromshirley 28 дней назад +7

    It sounds like it was written like they thought they would get a tv adaptation, that's the only explanation for these strange scene breaks

  • @SlothLinn
    @SlothLinn 21 день назад +5

    Secret tunneeeeeeeeeel, secret tunneeeeeeeeeel

  • @avsambart
    @avsambart 28 дней назад +11

    I get delirious every time I fly home. The flights take 18-20 hours and I can't sleep when I travel so in total I'm always up for over a day and I am always loopy towards the end.

  • @lethentucker
    @lethentucker 28 дней назад +11

    My eyeballs have been expanding this entire video, and I'm out of breath with some tears on my cheek. 😂

  • @ladyjatheist2763
    @ladyjatheist2763 28 дней назад +5

    my schadenfreude is in ecstasy knowing they are horrible writers... and I am disgusted that they will undoubtedly make money from it. Absolutely sickening.

  • @peaceofcrap
    @peaceofcrap 28 дней назад +8

    Daniel thanks for casually repping the choice to stay dry. Makes me happy.

  • @rad4924
    @rad4924 29 дней назад +15

    The only thing I can think of to make this book more nightmarish would be if it included a foreword by Terry Goodkind.

  • @JamesLiv17
    @JamesLiv17 27 дней назад +5

    "I so vividly understand the artistry of writing right now" 🤣

  • @mischarowe
    @mischarowe 28 дней назад +10

    Daniel: "don't read this book"
    Me: "10 steps ahead of you"
    Was never going to.🤣

  • @calebwright2111
    @calebwright2111 29 дней назад +45

    Some of this writing reminds of Charlie's political speech he wrote for Dennis on always sunny 😂

    • @LightningRaven42
      @LightningRaven42 29 дней назад +17

      "Hello, fellow american. This you should vote. Me! I leave power good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot.Taxes, they will be lower, son. The democratic vote for me, is right thing to do Philadelphia. So do!"

    • @inscendo8397
      @inscendo8397 26 дней назад +1

      Best comment 😂😂😂😂

  • @Persewna4
    @Persewna4 23 дня назад +4

    That was painful, I can only imagine how much moreso it was to have to actually read it. I think I understand feeling angry about the book, that something that horrendous, that offensive to actual writers was allowed to go to print on the strength of their celebrity alone! It's an actual insult to anyone and everyone who loves the written word.

  • @su_shadow9326
    @su_shadow9326 20 дней назад +3

    They brought us crap, you turned it into laughter. Thank you Daniel, thank you.

  • @vamsiampolu8438
    @vamsiampolu8438 28 дней назад +6

    20:28 when you want to focus on something in the distance you narrow your eyes not dilate them.
    Dilated eyes may represent a lack of focus.

  • @vestofholding
    @vestofholding 28 дней назад +6

    Rebels: City of Indra: The book that can give you sleep deprivation symptoms in record time.

  • @MeghanReads
    @MeghanReads 27 дней назад +5

    Well, this was the motivation I needed to try writing something. Coz my grocery lists read better than this

  • @Rockblue01
    @Rockblue01 23 дня назад +4

    Prologue: C-
    for decent first and nice thought in last sentence

  • @srely3786
    @srely3786 28 дней назад +6

    Unfortunately, you can function without sleep for a long time, but it is definitely not safe or recommended. After having both my babies (2 years apart), I was unable to sleep for 5 days straight, due to them waking and crying to be fed just as I was about to fall sleep and also due to the new mom hormones racing through my body that made me so alert and wired and waiting to hear them wake up. Do not recommend and I could not have driven a car or left the house to do anything - I was a zombie. I did, thankfully get 3-5 hours of sleep on the fifth day after both births.

  • @HGPrime
    @HGPrime 28 дней назад +4

    It's interesting to watch as you go from curious, to amused, baffled, then pissed off as you continue. But if where one of their fans I wouldn't feel like they thought I was the "best" if they offered me that garbage.

  • @IlseMulAuthor
    @IlseMulAuthor 28 дней назад +4

    Thank you for this review and for saving us from this monstrosity! I will never read this book. And I foresee I probably won't be reading any books written by Maya Sloan either....

  • @saraphangel6896
    @saraphangel6896 28 дней назад +7

    "Arndew" lol

  • @hannahpurnell2002
    @hannahpurnell2002 28 дней назад +5

    Never has a video been so perfectly timed for the end of a work day 🍷

  • @skeletonkeybooks
    @skeletonkeybooks 26 дней назад +3

    I first heard of this book when it won a Green Slime Award at Bubonicon. (Yes, that's a convention named after a plague.)

  • @JoeAuerbach
    @JoeAuerbach 29 дней назад +5

    The use of passive voice here is so incredibly weird. Nobody is doing anything, they're just there while it happens.

  • @katelinmize8023
    @katelinmize8023 20 дней назад +2

    This is written like it's a middle schoolers book report summarizing what happened in a different book

  • @rzuue
    @rzuue 28 дней назад +4

    18:15 it's written like my internship report from when I was in university. Like, it's completely missing any thoughts or feelings of the character.

  • @kaleidokai11
    @kaleidokai11 26 дней назад +2

    the longest i went without sleep was around five and a half days but it was also triggered by a manic episode and i was very much hallucinating. it was really bad you wouldn’t just be tired you go a little crazy, i couldn’t even force myself to go to sleep at that point i had to get help from my doctor

  • @lasennui
    @lasennui 27 дней назад +2

    Been an insomniac my entire life. It's a wild ride of functional humanity on 3 hours of sleep on normal days, 6 on best days ever, and zero on the worst.
    Favorite time was college. I did end up not sleeping for 4-5 days. The reason I say 4-5 is that I have no memory of the 5th day whatsoever. Day 3 was already fairly mild hallucinations and the last part of the 4th to the end of the 5th is just lost to me.
    But...I didn't do anything abnormal. I apparently still went to classes, to work, accompanied friends, made jokes, and wrote an incomprehensibly strange yet accurate thesis statement for literary analysis homework that I ended up not using.
    Mania is a hell of a drug.

  • @stephenoran2019
    @stephenoran2019 29 дней назад +7

    Somehow, I don't really find this surprising. Note the absence of any degree of surprise on my face! Thanks for this! (Sorry you had to endure the reading to protect us)!

  • @Slipfish
    @Slipfish 15 дней назад +3

    About to name an MMO character Expanded Eyeballs.

  • @ritzee13
    @ritzee13 23 дня назад +3

    When I first read the title I though it was an Indian inspired Scifi because Indra is a prominent indian god. I thought there were ripping off Indian culture, but its still a weird name choice.

  • @KarlKristofferJohnsson
    @KarlKristofferJohnsson 18 дней назад +2

    New writing goal: Include the sentence "I feel my eyeballs expanding" in a story in a logical way.

  • @lucamartin2278
    @lucamartin2278 22 дня назад +1

    This is an aspen. It’s called an aspen because of the way that it is.
    That’s pretty neat!

  • @Finey_S_K
    @Finey_S_K 28 дней назад +3

    Since I can't get my hands on The Pepperwood Chronicles, I'll be looking out for this gem instead.

  • @quinn0517
    @quinn0517 29 дней назад +36

    They *could* have paid a writer. It would have been fine. Somebody gets paid, they get the cash grab, and it's maybe a mediocre novel.
    But no.
    I just realized someone must have edited this. Multiple people held this book in their hands and thought, "Sure, let's put this out into the world."
    Sigh.

    • @jackwriter1908
      @jackwriter1908 29 дней назад +5

      I mean... if I were the editor I would do it, get the money and just wouldn't care how good of a job I did. After all, no-one will say it's the editors fault 😂

    • @jatzi1526
      @jatzi1526 28 дней назад

      @@jackwriter1908 I mean other editors definitely will. Schilling out shit for money is possibly a way to advance ones career in the publishing world but I'm betting the better method is to just ya know be a good editor.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 28 дней назад

      The book is going to sell because of the authors names. Why would a publishing company spend editing something when that editing will have zero influence on sales figures? It's just flushing money down the toilet absolutely no reason. [some kind of sci-fi toilet that won't get clogged on the cotton-linen paper that money is printed on]

    • @IlseMulAuthor
      @IlseMulAuthor 28 дней назад

      There was an author involved..... safe to say I will never write a book of hers. I mean.....

  • @davidbruce482
    @davidbruce482 28 дней назад +4

    I absolutely can't stand present tense in a novel. Chuck Wendig wrote his Star Wars aftermath trilogy in present tense as well, and I had such a hard time slogging through....

    • @pRahvi0
      @pRahvi0 28 дней назад +3

      Present tense 3rd person feels like a script for a movie or comic that is yet to be translated into the final form. Present tense 1st person, like this, feels like... I'm not sure... stram of consciousness? A style trending about a century ago and infamously terrible to read.

  • @TheBeardedBookBeast
    @TheBeardedBookBeast 28 дней назад +2

    Oh boy this was so fun. That must have been terrible to read, but it was enjoyable to hear you read it and break it down😂.

  • @alexm-e4910
    @alexm-e4910 29 дней назад +3

    I don’t think I’ve ever made it a full 72 hours of wakefulness 🤔 but once in first year university, my insomnia got so bad I was awake 3 nights through. Falling apart by the end of it, and when I finally did sleep I genuinely don’t remember a: falling asleep b: how I got back to my dorm room or c: collapsing on the floor of said dorm room still fully clothed. I slept for 17 hours straight or thereabouts

  • @MattMay06
    @MattMay06 13 дней назад +2

    Daniel reading this book is uncannily parallel to me watching Neil Breen for the first time.

    • @kay12
      @kay12 10 дней назад +1

      EYES ON BREEN

  • @snoopygonewilder
    @snoopygonewilder 26 дней назад +1

    I forgot this book was a thing. The only reason I know it exists is because I saw it in a used bookstore and saw Jenner on the spine and was confused. That was the first and last time I saw it and thought of its existance. I've never even considered reading this, and I've read some questionable stuff throughout the years, like so bad I'm embarrassed for people to know I read. I would just feel bad for myself reading this.

  • @sandilemlambo5701
    @sandilemlambo5701 28 дней назад +3

    10:25 this is how I feel about The Grace of Kings. And this happened and this happened.

  • @whitney2548
    @whitney2548 16 дней назад +2

    I've hallucinated from sleep deprivation with one of my newborns, it's no joke and probably something many of our mothers have experienced.

  • @elletheartmage
    @elletheartmage 3 дня назад

    It feels like the ghost writer made a very detailed outline for them to follow and rewrite in their own voice but they just decided the outline was good enough, hence why it all seems to be written as a series of events and thoughts with no flavour.

  • @Angieptsh
    @Angieptsh 26 дней назад +2

    I just read an excerpt from one of Maya Sloan's standalone books and while it's not *quite* as egregious in the repetitive sentence structure... it's pretty close. I wonder if maybe she's a friend who got a book deal 'cause she's friends with the Kardashians.

    • @aqup_
      @aqup_ 22 дня назад

      @@Angieptsh wtf even Kardashian's and Jenner's even do dawg? I have never seen them doing anything on the internet that is, like, their "profession."

  • @coyley72
    @coyley72 27 дней назад +2

    When you reading, everything felt like the blurb off the back of the book. Zzz
    I bet the KKs just AI’d the book.

  • @Goomaster101
    @Goomaster101 29 дней назад +8

    this book gives me a lot confidence, because if something like this can be published, then I can certainly get published.

    • @takanara7
      @takanara7 28 дней назад +2

      Yeah first become a billionaire makeup and lifestyle mogul, then use your money to publish and promote your book to your fans. [honestly any 'influencer' can write a book and sell it to their followers]

  • @jeremiahhuntley4224
    @jeremiahhuntley4224 27 дней назад

    Once I stayed awake for 40 hours my mind was surprisingly ok. My body though always felt tired and I needed to stretch my limbs constantly. It felt like I was walking around hip deep in swamp water.

  • @Johnmrobinson-vb5vd
    @Johnmrobinson-vb5vd 2 дня назад +1

    Makes me more confident in my own writing

  • @tbone6924
    @tbone6924 11 дней назад +1

    This was written by 4 people (according to Amazon), one of whom has credible credentials. My spidey senses tell me that the Jenners had very little to do with the actually writing of this book.

  • @lupolinar
    @lupolinar 27 дней назад +1

    I went almost 2 days without sleep (Party party) and went directly to work - I was a hazard to me and everyone around me. I could go home, because I did not look well - and this was in my early 20s.

  • @karigirl34
    @karigirl34 29 дней назад +21

    16:26 Somehow, this is a ghost writer (Maya Sloan). I guess this goes to show that even large amounts of money couldn’t make up for passion when it comes to fantasy writing. I’m curious to see what this writing (& editing) process was like here.
    17:23 My best friend and I used to write stories chapter by chapter back and forth in middle school and they read a lot like this too 😂

    • @LightningRaven42
      @LightningRaven42 29 дней назад +5

      Given how these people like to threat others, I wouldn't be surprised if they hired the ghost writer for as cheap as possible and didn't work with them whatsoever, and probably didn't pay enough for them to do more than a finished first draft.

    • @karigirl34
      @karigirl34 29 дней назад +4

      @@LightningRaven42 Honestly, I think you’re onto something there. That would absolutely fit the bill.

    • @jackwriter1908
      @jackwriter1908 29 дней назад +2

      ​@@LightningRaven42 I would definetly halfass my job if someone had the money to pay me well, but tries to give me the bare minimum and then (let's be honest that definetly happened) keep demanding changes.
      And since my name wouldn't be on the cover anyway, I couldn't care less how poorly it is reviewed 😂

    • @alec8485
      @alec8485 28 дней назад

      This might just be Maya Sloan's writing quality. She has 2 books on goodreads where she's listed as the only author, which have a rating of 3.37 and 2.44.

  • @jonrosenberg4324
    @jonrosenberg4324 28 дней назад +5

    A. Sorry my dear dishevelled goblin, no I'd never heard of these ladies. (being British, in my mid 50's and not in soap opera style of taste. Yes that is me being a huge snob and no I'm not going to apologise for it.)
    B. 'This is void of the artistic talent of writing,' that might be the singe greatest one line put down I've ever heard. Bravo sir!
    C. Having listen to what you've read... Yeah Fahrenheit 451 this drek.

  • @Rockblue01
    @Rockblue01 11 дней назад

    You’re so nice to listen to, disheveled, I don’t even mind this involuntary free fall into abhorrent emptiness. 😊

  • @GWins96
    @GWins96 27 дней назад +1

    I think one of my favourite moments of this who video was the start when Daniel stated "I don't really like drinking" . . . Well I think THIS "Book" may have caused Daniel to start drinking.

  • @innocentBystander19
    @innocentBystander19 26 дней назад +3

    Every English student shuddering at the passive voice in the sentence “Andrew was killed.” Eww. Way to take something dramatic and suck all the excitement from it.

  • @rufuscoppertop330
    @rufuscoppertop330 23 дня назад +1

    Have to say, I have literally NEVER heard of these authors. Not ever. Not until I clicked on your video just now.