DANTE'S INFERNO (Zero Punctuation)
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- Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
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This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Dante's Inferno.
Fast-talking Ben "Yahtzee" Croshaw reviews a new game each week in this animated series that combines informed critique with cutting humor. Watch the next episode of Zero Punctuation a week early, only on The Escapist.
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"Well, it's like my right hand on a sunday night."
"Why is that?" You ask.
"IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME."
I FUCKING *_DIED_* at that.
I actually looked up that thing about the singing box. Turns out, it was true, and not a joke on Yahtzee's part. Christ.
You misunderstand. Satan, not Christ.
Weird, and yet fitting marketing. Including the "send photos of your acts of lusts (dressing as your imdividual character or whatever) on Facebook," and the "Wasteful or greedy check spending" for game journalists. I do wonder what they did for Pride, Envy, Gluttony and Sloth.
@@b3rz3rk3r9 well come up with sloth later
Lucifer: "Uh, actually..."
Yeah there have been some pretty weird stubs pulled for game adverts from a human meat market for resident evil to a fake assassination website where you cut friendships by giving a reason for why they should be kill to straight up illegal activity twice both by EA
Dante’s inferno was nearly prostitution and for the godfather 2 they sent out brass knuckles to reviews and when they didn’t want to have them because they are illegal they suggested sending them back in the mail, that is also illegal as you cannot use the postal office to ship contraband
I'm honestly surprised Yahtzee didn't mention Lucifer's... um... appendage. Especially as the appendage was made particularly noticeable from having its own physics.
+BrownieComicWriter you now know how woman feel about boob physics
+kumagawa i have to change my name because sam flatman thinks my name is stupid misogi
I honestly don't give any fucks about breast and genital physics. Disgust over that is even worse than disgust in actual nudity, especially due to virtual nudity being "virtual" , not real.
Jokairou94 k
kumagawa i have to change my name because sam flatman thinks my name is stupid misogi
Yay
Jokairou94 I'm the same and just find it hilarious that there must've been a small team of people specifically tasked with redeeming lucifers dick physics
To everyone gasping at Yahtzee making an ebola joke in 2011:
The movie Osmosis Jones had an ebola joke in it, and it came out in 2001. Ebola and knowledge of it is not even close to being a new thing.
Kefkaesque13 Crisis 2 made a ebola joke.
I'm also sure that ebola was a thing in the 70s.
+Kefkaesque13 Also this video is from 2010
DAN-DRIFF!
Also, Weird Al gave it a mention in one of his songs.
+Kefkaesque13 Cowboy Bebop mentioned it in that one weird lessons episode.
"heavy attacks for the sir, and light attacks for the lady." that slayed me
To sum up the comments.
9% About the gameplay
1% About Satan's dick.
80% About Ebola.
10% Actual Ebola.
And 100% reason to remember the name
+Kermit the Frog The instant I saw the % symbol I knew someone would make that reference. I'm glad it was you, Mr. the Frog.
+Alfred Ashford Which is disappointing, because that was some good dick.
I will kill that bastard who said that during my Achievement run... thankfully I got all the Achievements
0:42 "I'm not opposed to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the concept one that takes attendance"
A big bang theory fan huh?
@@mlpfanboy1701 _maybe_ 6 years ago when I wrote that comment. _Maybe_
@@Magmafrost13 now what say ye?
0 comments mentioning the Ebola joke
23 million comments mentioning people who appearantly mentioned an Ebola joke.
how about I mention the right hand joke. that was pretty funny.
Hey I have 26 likes.
I'm popular.
there were millions of comments from retards who thought ebola was something new, trust me it was horrible how ignorant everyone else is
there are more comments about satan's cock
ir really thought there wwas 23 million comments unnitl i checked....
The thing with the singing box at 1:22 is this. Yahtzee received this wooden box that started to play Rick Astley's timeless classic "Never Gonna Give You Up" as soon as he opened it.
The thing was, it didn't shut up. But EA was kind enough to place a hammer and some safety goggles inside as a hint.
All these people who act like Ebola hasn't existed until 2014 make me wish everyone had it
I'm super late to watching this, but to answer the end credits question "So what the fuck does being tossed around by wind have to do with Lust": Hell is all about ironic punishments and these are people that were always obsessed with getting blown...
2:43 god the way that sounds after him not breathing for a while
" hey, said god, got any grapes?"
Am I the only one that doesn't care about the other Escapist series but only subscribes for Yahtzee?
Some of Jim's stuff is ok, and Uncivil War is nice, but I primarily only watch ZP.
you're joking, right? yahtzee is amazing!
I subscribe for Yahtzee and Movie Bob.
100% Yahtzee
jonathan mcvitriol Wait, this channel's something other than Yahtzee?
I love how at one moment in the video, Yahtzee either sounds like he's running out of breath or crying..
Did you know that EA actually sent Yahtzee a Rickroll as part of their stunt to make everyone play this game?
[citation needed]
VanguardFencer it did happen, there is an article on it somewhere on the escapist
VanguardFencer He mentions it himself at about one minute in.
***** That was EA? I thought it was what came with the game anyway, like the starting screen on the WiiU.
zexoor I couldn't find the article. Thought it was this but no.
www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/7239-Dantes-Inferno
I'm surprised no-one has mentioned Cleopatra. Granted I've never played this game but I've seen enough to know calling that part messed up would be an understatement.
My left hand beats the fuck out of me
Same, what kind of philistine uses their dominant hand for that? It's unhygenic.
***** Yeah, it's more of a statement to me, as in you don't respect me enough to shake my hand with your non-jerking hand.
***** That's not how that works.
only on a zp vid
Honestly its not a bad game. Plays smooth even if its linear and theirs two skill tree's which are fun to max out too. But lmao @ "the haduken" move! The cross throwing is fuggin' awesome!
Yahtzee: *spends lots of time on making a funny video*
Everyone who watched it: HE SAID EBOLA
3:37 At this moment I had to pause it as I laughed enough to cry. You have earned my Sub and Like, my friend, very good job XD That's one of the most entertaining images I've seen in quite some time.
Reminds me of the old Greco-Roman one "A man goes to the barbers, when asked how his hair would like to be cut he replies, 'In silence'" XD
"it's like my right hand on a Sunday night"
"why's that?"
"IT BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF ME!"
ha... i sii wat u did thrr
I actually really liked this game. I didn't know much about the poem before playing the game, so when I found out that I actually enjoyed the game.. Enough to play through it 5 times and 100% it twice, I decided to actually buy a physical copy of the poem, and it swiftly became one of my favourite things to read. (Side note. I HATE reading.)
So while it may be a God of War clone. It still holds up on its own two feet and is serviceable. I'd say give it a chance to anyone thinking about it.
+Ch1l1C0nCarnag3 It's very similar to God of War but GoW is set in Greek mythology and Dante's is set in Christian mythology.
Even if the gameplay was in every thinkable way completely identical between the two I would still prefer Dante's Inferno because the dark and nasty sides of Christian mythology is more appealing to me.
While the absolution minigame is pretty damned lame whether you chose it or the damnation option should depend entirely on how you play, and is only very very loosely similar to a morality system.
I think this game has gotten an unreasonably harsh reception due to it's huge similarity to the God of War games, which I suppose a lot of people had gotten sick of when Dante's Inferno came out.
Judged on it's own I really think it's a pretty damned good game. Sure some of the puzzles are annoying and feel completely out of place, and sure some of the stages and enemies are uninspired. But for all the time I've played it I never really found myself wanting a different weapon ever. I got to know and perfect the timings and range of the scythe and cross and eventually started using them in conjunction. Add in some magic spells and suddenly the game has a lot more variety than one might initially think
Yeah. It's not amazing in the slightest, but in it's concept and idea of turning such a famous piece of literature into a game, it definitely has my props. Really, how many legitimate games have been made out of noteworthy and influential books, let alone in this style? It's just impressive in that regard.
But yeah. Its Gameplay isn't amazing. :P
Yea I mean I liked the game. I don’t think I was particularly fond of the actual gameplay, but more often than not I found myself just staring at the environment. It was crazy to me how they managed to make all of the levels look like they did at the time.
Here's some cliff notes:
1. Dante didn't raise a weapon against anyone in Hell, and wasn't a Paladin in the Crusades. In fact, what he mostly did was pass out, talk to some famous souls of the damned, follow Virgil, and get out of Hell by climbing out via Satan Stepping Stool.
2. Virgil was WAY more prominent.
3. They got a few things right about Hell, but it's more worth googling a detailed map of Hell or reading the thing yourself. Or watch Overly Sarcastic Productions' video(s) on the subject.
02:50 wow, this clock shows my sundays
I think Dante's Inferno was good because it was a cool concept that sure had its flaws and bugs but it still had some interesting moments and fighting certain bosses like Lucifer was fun and simple. I mean, we look at devil may cry which is similar in ways like it but DMC worked well because the character Dante was smart, hardass and caring. Dante in this is far more soldier like and it's fine. god of war clone? who cares. its a simple game with simple things that simply is fun and good for a few trips. a appetizer really.
I honestly enjoyed this game
At least they did their homework when they made this game, essentially getting the levels of hell as close as possible as to the actual text of the epic poem.
1:21 Anyone else realize that Yahtzee actually did get a singing box that he had to smash open to shut up? EA rickrolled him with a box that would turn off until he smashed through 3 layers of wood to get to the batteries.
It and Blazing Saddles are the most innovative works of art of their medium!
that spontaneous ending blew my eardrums
So pretty funny! Especially with the damnation/absolution part, and the Bohemian Rhapsody part in the end credits! :D
Thumbs up! As an introduction to ZP for others I think this episode is a good choice. You don't have to know the actual game and Yahtzee is at his best with a nice intellectual intro and great gags to follow. Good job Yahtzee!
Yay! Someone else who calls The Divine Comedy self-insert fanfiction!
Are we really in the minority.
"Heavy attacks for sir and light attacks for the lady."
Yes, I've been made aware of this around ten times now. That older joke must have been discovered some time after I was told the tidbit of info about the joke in "Inferno." It honestly makes me wish that it was possible to edit comments on here.
1:05 is a thing that the public have only recently started to notice.
Yes, I've been getting that comment a lot lately. Either that discovery was really recent, or my English teacher in High School who said that bit of info relating to "Inferno" just didn't know about the earlier joke.
2:45
Christ, sounds like he going to suffocate on his own tongue!
I like the line from Aurelio Voltaire he put at the end
"The least you can do is jerk-I mean knock it off properly, not gay."
Why was I laughing so hard at this?
The "it beats the fuck out of me" needed a 'ba dum tss' at the end.
"beelzebub has a devil put a side for meeee"
we've got ourselves a bohemian rhapsody fan
What British person isn't a queen fan
Cameron Trivett what sane person isn't a Queen fan
Who ISN'T a fan of Bohemian Rhapsody? Everyone loves that song.
I had that song stuck in my head for about a week. Honestly, wasn't that bad of an experience. I think I spread the infection a bit by humming the tune.
The wind drives you back and forth rather randomly with no goal or purpose in mind.
I loled so hard at the "Calm the fuck down" sign.
Wind metaphor was for the lack of control you have over yourself, following your impulses blindly with no real restraint, as though propelled by a great wind. I think
Anyone get the quote on the end card
Hint FOR ME FOR ME FOR MEEEEEE *guitar solo*
Question! Does this game present God and his minions and the eldritch horrors from beyond the stars that they are in canon? I know it gives Satan fully visible male genitals, which (ironically) is totally anatomically incorrect, since "he" does not have anything we would even vaguely recognize as a biological sex, but does it actually go into the fact that angels and demons alike are horrifying mixes of geometrical and non-Euclidean shapes and human and animal parts, with their angelic souls being held in horcrux-like phylacteries and visages so horrifying that looking upon them makes your eyes melt?
Bayonetta got some of that right, at least, and I'm wondering how far off this is.
angels in modern fiction: winged beings of kind divine light
angels in christianity: eldritch horrors that puts lovecraft to shame
0:45 By Dante's logic (and I use the word loosely), maybe in the eighth circle? With counterfeiters and impostors?
You can tell when somebody is a long time viewer. Sentence structure and tone are wonderful things.
I watch for the review because all of his points are valid and most reviewers never point out these problems.
God of War 3: Hairy Bum.
Can't wait.
It also was one of the first comedy books ever written.
Well to be honest, I don't know if that joke is from anything else, but "It's like my right hand on a Sunday night; it bets the fuck outta me" is an amazing line.
Yay for using the awesome translation when you showed the book version!
Well it's like my right hand on a Sunday night. Why? IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME. Best. Line. Ever.
@4:42 Did he really make a "When You're Evil" reference? I like him even more now (no homo).
@@thecrabmaestro564 Holy hell this comment is old. And I guess the comment correcting this was deleted or something I guess?
I thought for sure he would bring up the topless Cleopatra boss.
Yeah, I didn't expect too much, but I really enjoyed it. Definitely a surprisingly great game.
I remember Chandler mentioning Ebola in a mid 90s episode of Friends...
So anyone else laugh like mad when he said "face" at 2:45?
He laughed at 2:46. You hear it in his voice XD
A jointed scythe and a cross that shoots laser pulses are Your weapons and thats IT
for real though. I'm a big fan of the Divine Comedy, and I REALLY wanted to like this game. a sort of violent take on it. giving Dante a reason to be traversing hell aside from "I don't know what to do with my life." he's a crusader. he wants to be a good Christian man. wants to do right. but finds himself wrapped up in sin, both via the corruption of the Church, and his own human weakness. And he's (rightfully) mad at just about everyone and everything that isn't his beloved. And then, she's taken by Satan. hell, I actually feel JUSTIFIED, as a player, in randomly deciding to attack the grim reaper. Dante is having an existential break, and his answer is the one thing he's familiar with. Violence. And while the rest of the game has its highs and lows in terms of story and character (sewing the crusader cross into his chest, picturing all the sins he wishes to absolve himself of as good, Cleopatra as bad examples) it's generally pretty solid, as far as a re-imagining goes.
But the gameplay. the gameplay fucks it up.
KKK
2:44 is it just me or did he say "face" In a really weird way?
I think he ran out of breath
I heard that and cracked up so hard..he sounds like hes on helium there lol
"Hahahahahah-hah!" you might say...
Yes each time I watch that part
A-ha, I finally found it. I need this video for my research on hairy bums in video games in light Anita Sarkeesian's latest video on equal bum representation.
Best. Summary. Ever!!
Well, to be fair, if the devil is enticing her, I always just thought that she could hold out for only so long. I mean, he would know how to break the spirit, he is the devil mind you. 😆
"It's like my right hand on sunday night... IT BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF ME"
I know nobody cares, but I had one solitary hiccup right when he said 'hiccup' at 2:33. I've seen a glitch in the matrix.
I had read Dante Alighieri's Devine Comedy before the release of this game so I was really looking forward to it (even though it was just inferno) needless to say I was very disappointed.
I'd imagine so. Australia is a bit tight on that.
The guy welcoming souls of the damned at the gates of hell, playing the trumpet out of his ass? Oh yeah! :D
Well, it turns out (as I have been told in probably close to ten different replies to that comment) that there was one earlier instance. Anyways, the joke in "Inferno" was a stanza wherein Dante described seeing a demon 'make a trumpet of his ass.'
Aye, It was revolutionizing, every man who knows his literature has read The divine comedy.
I adored this game, still in my all time top 10
One of his all time classics lol
4:41 nice reference
The only thing I can give this game is that at least we got a halfway-decent videogame film out of it. Dante's Inferno: An Animated Epic was actually kinda good, well animated, fairly gripping story and all the acting was pretty good. In terms of movies in general it's pretty bro-ish what with all the gorey violence and nudity, but I genuinely rooted for Dante and wanted to see him and Beatrice get back together and it's much better paced than the game itself, so in terms of videogame movies it's pretty impressive.
I watch it because it's funny but also because he does make a lot of valid points about games. Although I don't actually PLAY at lot of the games he reviews, I know that he'll be honest about his opinion of them, mostly because he's nitpicky as hell about important details. And he does on occasion say good things about games. Go watch his "Orange Box" review. He actually liked one of them.
He wasn't aware that he had died. If I remember correctly, he had thought he was near death and that killing Death granted him immortality or something.
This has some of the best metaphors and similes I've heard from you
well, i think that you noticed that after he saw death/pulled it out, they werent at the warzone anymore, but in some kind of realm created by death.. and seriously, if you kill the Grim Reaper, wouldnt you think that you are alive 2?
You've got two options: Punish I.E. smash their face in or Absolve I.E. smash their face in but in a pyas way.
Kratos was only given his god powers at the end of God of War by Athena in a cutscene and Zeus takes them away again at the start of GOW 2 so everything the player actually does (i.e. getting through Pandora's temple and the Temple of the Fates) was done as a mortal.
And that's why is the whole thing is called "The Divine Comedy", ladies and gentlemen.
kratos ripped the head off of Helios (and after doing so he proceeded to use it as a night light), he gouged out Poseidon's eyes, cut the legs off of Hermes, and kratos had also killed Hades (who's pretty much the roman equivalent to the devil)
I know it's gow rip off, but that's why I liked it. If we can have all look alike shooters and fantasy rpg games, why can't we also have look alike hack'n slash titles. There is barely any decent hack'n slash titles as it is.
In Portuguese is harder to do that. Unless you do some "minor" changes, you will be in for a challenge.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!*flips all the tables*
"It's like my hand on a Saturday night, It beats the fuck out of me!"
Spent a solid 4 mins laughing at that.
"A positive thing!" - Yahtzee on FIFA13.
not kidding, go watch it on the escapist website
Yahtzee's critique works both ways, he burn a game to death or just point out it's a decent game with flaws (because perfection is a pipe dream)
He liked XCOM, I gave it a try (yay demo's) and was blown away with it.
Whoa, I just listened to Bohemian Rhapsody before I watched this video, and then the credits said "Beezelbub has a devil put aside for meee". That's all. I thought I should share that with the internet.
Summerized perfectly.
The singing box he was talking about actually was just there to rickroll whoever got it.
There's a Sumerian one from 1900 BC: "Something which has never occurred since time immemorial: a young woman did not fart in her husband's lap". It was a simpler time, I suppose
After watching this review, I have decided DI's sequel is going to be awesome!
How he speaks this fast with so much detail is beyond me