@@darcyjorgensen5808 What? I've only been to one wedding in my life that people didn't physically bring the gifts to -- and that was a destination wedding that would have been hard for people to do.
@@darcyjorgensen5808 Yeah bringing gifts to the wedding is just adding to their troubles. Nobody wants to have to find places for that stuff on someones wedding day.
I’ve been told that if you think the service is not worthy of a tip, you should discuss it with the manager. Bad “food” isn’t the waiter’s fault. Bad service is.
This is largely circumstances. Before you get food, you are expecting to tip. I would consider "bad service" to still be a 5-10% tip. And by bad service, I mean, the waiter ignores you, screws up the order, or does not refill the drink. Now if the place is slammed, it's obvious the waiter is busy, but trying their best, I would still tip normally. Pretty much, if the service being bad is the servers fault, you shouldn't tip as well as if it's good. But if it's outside of their control, you should still tip at least an average amount.
@@lilsammywasapunkrock And lots of restaurants pool tips so you would be penalizing the other staff as well. It’s just how they get paid. Until that changes we live with it.
If I didn’t have amazing service I always tip with my card. If the service was out of this world, I tip with cash hoping the server will pocket that tip. If I’ve had bad service or bad food, I’ll usually try to tell someone higher up once I’ve paid and tipped with my card.
I’ve done up to 50% before. Not because my waiter went above and beyond, but simply because he was struggling so hard because they were short staffed yet I never had to wait real long for anything I needed. Basic service in most instances but he tried so hard to keep service at a standard at least. Not only did he deserve large tips from everyone but he deserved a raise too. I will completely hold a tip back if they are just being lazy and would rather play on their phone. They dictate the raise, I won’t be guilted into paying extra for bad service.
7:40 No loophole: “how are you?” from a store/restaurant employee is a formulaic question which is always answered with something positive. There is no expectation that you will ever answer anything else, and it most certainly is NOT an opening to start a deeper conversation. Just accept that “how are you today? - “good, and you?” -“I’m great, thanks” is functionally equivalent to “hello” - “hello”.
On the tipping, the thing the video glosses over is that wait staff in most US restaurants don’t make a livable wage without including tips. It may be more now, but for a long time the wait staff hourly wage was typically $2.35/hour. It’s expected they’ll get at least minimum wage once tips are included.
I have a standard reply for "How are you doing today?". That always gets a big smile and a non standared reaction. My answer to " How are you doing?" Is "I'm so good. If i got better. I would have to be twins."
texas here! Never ask about politics, religion or guns. these subjects are so controversial. you can actually get into arguments because Americans do love to share their opinions. and don't talk shit about football. love your reactions!!
American here. I've never not tipped waiters even with bad service (bad service isn't always their fault and you don't know what's going on in their lives - remember Americans get little to no vacation or time off or access to medical care & mental health is a problem too). We go no shoes in all the homes of my family. Only my paternal grandparents specifically always had their shoes on.
typically, the wait staff does not even make minimum wage. Their hourly wage is very low in most restaurants. They count on tips to make up that difference. That is why we leave a tip, regardless. The better the service, the better the tip.
yeah they make less than min. like $2.10 plus tip. the tipping culture works out well for restaurant owners so they fight against laws to end it. then you got the bastard bosses that keep your tips... -.- that should be illegal.
If shoes have mud or dog poo or if your feet hurt take your shoes off. But if you are one of those unfortunate people with chronically smelly feet, please leave your shoes on.
The reason we always tip, even if it’s bad service, is the tip tells the waiter or waitress how good we feel they did. If we leave a small tip, like five or 10%, that is telling them they did a bad job. If we leave a big tip like 25 or 30%, that tells them they did a great job. On occasion when I’ve had a horrible waiter or waitress, I’ve left one penny.
Something many may not know about shoes: Portugal and Spain are much like America, with many people wearing outdoor shoes indoors. People think this wearing shoes indoors is only an American thing for some reason, it is absolutely not, hence the reaction he had in this video. There's polling on it in America, it's fairly evenly divided between households that wear shoes indoors and those who don't.
Your positivity is so refreshing! You always come across as kind and open-minded, it makes your videos so pleasant to watch. Big supporter from USA! 🇺🇸
Honestly, if an American asks you how you’re doing, even if you’re pretty sure they’re just greeting you, you don’t have to say “fine” if you’re having a miserable day. You can be more honest than that. You’ll frequently hear Americans respond to “how’s your day going?” from a stranger with something like “well, I’ve had better.” You’ll likely get the response “I’m sorry to hear that!” They may even ask you what’s going on, and you can feel free to open up a little (though, probably don’t overshare, try to stick to a one sentence, broad strokes kind of answer unless they ask for more details). If they don’t ask you why you’re having a bad day, then respond with “how about yourself?” But don’t feel like you have to answer with “fine” if it’s not true.
The shoes thing is about respecting their space. People in the US have different preferences when it comes to shoes in the house, and it's usually best to follow whatever the standard there is. If they want shoes off, then it is shoes off. If they don't require shoes off, then taking them off can be seen as awkward or even too forward as you are making yourself comfortable without their invitation. Generally, as a rule of thumb, if the host has their shoes on, yours stay on unless they ask/offer otherwise. As was pointed out here, Americans value very highly being the boss of one's own space. Asking permission, and waiting for an invitation before getting too comfortable, or otherwise following whatever house rules they present, shows respect for them and their space.
I agree with some of the other comments - tipping culture is built into the structure of wages for some service jobs. Servers for example, it is legal for employers to pay them much less than minimum wage because it is expected they will also get tips. So customers are expected to pay for part of their wages when you think about it. That is one reason we feel obligated to tip even if the service is poor.
Would you take your shoes off in someone else's house if they asked you to? "Yeah, out of respect, but only because I know I'm not coming back." -Chazz Palminteri
For family parties with all the cousins, aunts and uncles etc, etc, the shoes come off. At a party with a bunch of friends and acquaintances, the shoes stay on. At a family member's house or close friend on a personal visit, the shoes come off.
"Fast food" in this context includes what is sometimes called "casual dining". These are places that are not fast food (not frozen -> warmed or whatever), usually scratch made either in-house or from a local provider...but you order at the counter and either wait to be called or you get a number/symbol and the cook will bring the tray to your table. This might be a sandwich place, for example - you order your sandwich at the counter and then you get number 97 on a plastic tab and the deli person will call out ORDER 97 IS READY and then you go check at the counter and they'll point it out for you.
Glad you have some small talk ready. I was in an elevator today with 10 other people. The woman closest to the choose floor buttons asked each person what floor they wanted. Then there was conversation about the weather, but we all chatted because the elevator was so slow. But honestly, you could start any conversation with, "Hi, I'm Andre, and I'm visiting from Portugal..." and someone will be happy to tell you directions, or recommend somewhere, or maybe even give a little history of the area. Give an American an "in" to tell you about the states, and you might be there for a while. This is especially in the South.
The shoe thing really depends on the individual household. Some people expect guests to take their shoes off when they come in; some people expect guests to keep their shoes on; some don't mind either way. Of course it's different with workmen: if a plumber comes inside, you expect him to keep his shoes on.
The people saying 20% and more are mostly people who get tips and like the extra pay. Most people who have never worked in restaurants don't realize that front of house workers and delivery drivers earn a LOT more from tips than they ever would from an hourly wage...
You can’t really plan small talk. Asking who is the better sports person/team right off the bat would seem weird. You might get to that but usually you start off with “Did you see the game last night?” What follows can range from “No, I don’t follow sports.” to “Yeah. Did you see when…” Small talk is about acknowledging the other person. It can even be just a nod to the person getting into the elevator with you.
Cab drivers are often the victims of robbery. Many have been seriously injured or even murdered. Many cabs in New York City for example are equipped like police cars with a partition between the front and back seats for that very reason.
As an American, I tip based on service . If you are rude or not paying much attention you get nothing. I've spent 20+ years in the restaurant industry so I don't play around when it comes to dealing with restaurant staff.
I've also worked as waitstaff. It seems like those of us who have done the job have higher standards than a lot of other people who tip to avoid embarrassment.
It’s not required, but sometimes I tip when I feel bad for the waiter. One time, at a Thai restaurant, it was a Sunday and there were a lot of people and only 1 server and 1 cook. I think some people either didn’t go to work or the owner underestimated how many people would come to that place. I felt really bad for the waiter especially and gave an extra tip and left a review suggesting they give the server a few days off.
American here. I despise small talk. It is ok not to engage in it. Just answer with short responses that are not open ended. "How are you?" "I'm great". If you say "and you" it invites a response. You answered their question, so it won't be seen as rude.
my standard "starting tip" is around 10%. if the service sucks, it goes down. as the service is better, the tip goes up. in certain cases, i have left 200% tips, and in one particular case, a 1000% (10x) tip. i always leave a tip. even if it is a penny under a pile of salt.
The shoe thing varies a lot. I would never ask a guest in my home to take their shoes off, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable if they'd rather keep them on. Even though I personally don't wear my street shoes in my house. When I get home, I usually take my own shoes off, and either walk around in socks or put slippers on. But I let guests do what they want. Other people will let you know, usually by saying something like, "You can take your shoes off." If someone says that, you should assume that they want you to take them off, even though it's phrased like an option. That old American indirectness, again. If the person doesn't say anything, you can just ask, "Would you like me to remove my shoes?". Nobody will find that rude. If they say yes, take them off, if they say, "if you want to" or "whatever you like" or something like that, that probably means they don't really care either way, and you should do what's comfortable for you.
I personally find small talk a waste of time. But, I do love chatting up strangers, it’s just typically more of “where are you from?” Than “How’s the weather?” Just prefer something a little more meaningful.
Rule of thumb: If they hardwood/stone/etc type flooring you can wear your shoes If they have carpet flooring, shoes off. Or if you see lots of shoes at the door/in the mud room shoes typically go off in the main house. If you have really smelly feet, just keep em on.
15% is acceptable. And the rule for tipping is that, if the waiter or waitress made no attempt to make your meal enjoyable, tipping is optional. Don't fault them for kitchen issues and don't fault them for a slip or two.
If you visit the southern US, people you pass on the street might wave at you and expect you to wave back even if you don’t know each other from Adam. Especially in neighborhoods. If you’re not comfortable with a small wave back, a slight nod of the head is also acceptable. Not everyone does this, especially in big cities, but if someone does, they’re not trying to initiate conversation or mistaking you for someone they know. They’re just politely acknowledging the presence of their fellow human beings.
10:57 yeah you can basically do or say whatever you want... Out loud... I used to work at a grocery store when I was younger, and one of the customers, the whole time. He was in the store, at the top of his lungs, would sing opera. He was very good. He was an opera singer... So it's like he would put on a free concert every time he was at the grocery store But he was literally singing as loud as one of those singers does on stage
About indirectness: Although the examples given in the video are accurate enough, my experience is that Americans are generally far readier to be direct than Europeans are. To continue generalizing: When Americans are being indirect, they *use indirect words;* they add words of uncertainty, such as "maybe", which let the listener know that the name of the game is Indirectness. Europeans, on the other hand, use *firm* words that say the *opposite* of what they mean, which is confusing to many Americans. An American may be surprised by words that are quite direct, but he still will take them to *mean what they say.* Europeans, on the other hand, seem to have a code-book in which direct words mean the opposite of what they say. These European rules depend on the country, of course; and one generalization is to say that there are two ways-the Teutonic way and the Romantic way. Let's say you're riding in a train compartment with a stranger, and the window is open, and you're getting cold, and you would find it hard to get up and close the window, so you ask the stranger to close the window for you: somebody following the Teutonic etiquette, such as someone from Britain, would quietly say something like "Oh, yes, sure", and quickly get up and close the window and sit back down, minimizing the gesture, to show that your request has not inconvenienced him-whereas somebody following the Romantic way would loudly say something like "Certainly, my Lady! Anything I can do to make you more comfortable!" and make a big show of doing you a kindness-not to make _himself_ look so _good_ but to make _you_ feel _honored._ Anyway, when we visit one of the Portuguese-born members of my family in America, we and he have a different understanding of certain basics of etiquette. As Americans, we think it is fine that he offers us a drink (non-alcoholic) soon after we arrive at his house. But our agreement that it's polite of him to make the offer is where our agreement ends. In _our_ eyes, if we would like a drink, we should say something like "Yes, a glass of water would be lovely" and he should get us a drink in the low-key, Teutonic style-and, if we aren't in the mood for a drink, we should say "No, thank you; not right now" and that should be the end of it. In _his_ eyes, we are all supposed to follow a script: he is supposed to ask us whether we'd like a drink; we are _supposed to say "No", regardless of our actual desire;_ then he is supposed to _insist;_ then we are supposed to say "No" _again;_ then he is supposed to _insist again;_ and then we are supposed to _give in_ and accept a drink-and _then_ he is supposed to ask us approximately fifty times whether the drink tastes good and whether he should get us some more. In his eyes, the polite thing to do is to follow a scripted haggling-session, in which each side demonstrates to the other that it knows the rules to follow, without regard to honesty and without regard to whether anybody is actually thirsty or not. One might try to solve this dilemma by saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"-but, even there, it's tricky: he is in _America,_ where his Portuguese etiquette is abnormal, especially for his American-born guests; _but_ we are visiting in _his house._ In my experience, this is not only a difference between European and American, but also a difference between Romantic and Teutonic.
As an American, in my experience, we're mostly loud when background noise is loud, such as a tightly packed restaurant, the airport, etc. We're not afraid to raise our voices to be heard. However, if things are quiet, I don't see people being loud just for the heck of it.
As an American who's lived overseas, we are LOUD. You can tell if there are Americans at the restaurant when you walk in! In many other countries, you are really supposed to speak more quietly than we Americans are used to.
The PJ thing is new. I think it is the equivalent of wearing your hair in curlers while shopping. Loose clothing maybe, but for heaven sake tee shirts and old jeans are acceptable. If you don’t have any check out GoodWill or Salvation Army!
Tipping isn't simply about service in sit-down restaurants. The waitstaff don't get paid as much per hour by the restaurant as the other staff (busboys, dishwashers, cooks, who don't get tips). The waitstaff can make as little as $2.13/hour, even though regular minimum wage is usually $7.50/hr. The tip is to make up the difference, as well as for good service. The rule is that waitstaff get taxed on 9% of their sales as reported by the restaurant, which is why a 10% tip is considered the absolute minimum. Anything they make above 9% of their sales is tax-free income to them. This income disparity is why most Americans feel guilty about not tipping the waitstaff. Personally, I do NOT feel guilty about not tipping anyone else, who makes at least regular minimum wage! Fast-food workers mostly make MORE than minimum wage, and tipping is not required there.
To help explain what he’s meaning about not having to give gifts with both hands or a particular hand is, from my understanding only, that it’s polite in Asia to give a gift with both hands and in Arab/Middle Eastern cultures to give gifts with the right hand because it’s the “clean” hand.
Tipping…the US Chamber of Commerce spends billions lobbying 3:23 in order to keep wages at a starvation level. Waiters and waitresses do not make a living wage. After the Civil War freed slaves had difficulty finding work. Often people who had been house slaves would find work at a tavern or some kind of eating establishment and would not be paid a wage. They only received tip money. And because people in the service industries seldom receive a living wage, their customers pay them through tipping.
1.) Most American restaurants have sugar, artificial sweetener, salt, pepper, and ketchup right there on the tables. 2.) Waitstaff in the USA are not paid a full minimum wage. They get a paycheck at all only so taxes can be taken out. Therefore the tips are not "something extra," but their actual payment. 3.) "Fine, and you?" is merely the standard answer to the standard greeting. The conversation usually goes no farther than, "Very well, thank you," or words to that effect. 4.) Even libraries are not necessarily quiet places nowadays. 5.) We do take shoes off at our house.
I was a waitress in the 70s/80s …. Grew a good customer base over the years and knew what they ate and drank , when they came in they would just say ..”The usual “ they tipped me well and I was grateful ❤
I go to the same drive thru local coffee place every morning. When I pull up, whoever is there asks, "Morning, Shannon. Which is it today? The latte or the hazelnut mocha?" The fact that they remember my name and drinks, and always are friendly, means I tip them 20 dollars (they tip share as they get paid full wages unlike waitstaff) once a week as a thanks. A good waiter/waitress/server is absolutely a treat in today's times, and I intend to make sure they get rewarded for it.
The federal law about minimum wage has an exception: restaurant wait staff can be paid as low as two dollars an hour. This is because the tipping culture is so old and ingrained.
12. is tricky, some people have preferences about shoes in the home. Just ask them before entering their house what they prefer. Usually you can see where the shoes are placed before you enter the house.
When I grew up, we didn’t take our shoes off when we walked in the door unless you wanted it to. It was not a requirement. We did not have a pile of shoes at the front door. This was true, no matter where we went. Families house, friends house. It was all the same. The shoes did not come off unless you wanted to take your shoes off. And you usually did not do that if you’re visiting your friend.
I would say Americans rely on small talk, we don’t love it. It’s a safe way to have a conversation and get a feel for the other person. Many of us prefer to skip the small talk, but it’s simply the way to talk to people you don’t know well or with whom you don’t feel like opening up. Friendliness varies tremendously by region.
Here is one for America, Sniffling is considered gross ... in some parts of the world it is considered a gross to just blow your nose in public to just keep it in your nose until you can find a private place to blow your nose, but if you do that around Americans they will consider it disgusting and gross and sometimes rude, sometimes you might actually get Americans offering you a tissue
Oh! I had no idea it would be considered more polite somewhere to shnuffle that stuff back up your nose than blowing it into a tissue! The sound is so obnoxious to my American ears.
I’m from the USA and I am very loud. This is mostly because I care for my mother and she is hard of hearing. So I spend my days yelling everything and will forget when at a store. 🤣😂
When it comes to the "Fine, and you?" Response for small talk, dont worry about the convo continuing. Normally that greeting ends once the responder says anything, anything at all.
Yes, usually the responder just says "I'm good, thanks for asking" and then it's on to business or whatever you're there to talk about. Or on to meaningless small-talk if you're in the elevator 😄
Oh Jesus Should never be left out and Andre believes in God so if you don't like it don't ask him to change and politics is extremely important who has control over your country so go stick your head back in the sand and ignore everything important this is problem with people their conversation have no worth
@@MannyLoxx2010listen God is more important than anything else in the world I'm a military veteran and I'll tell you it's fact Jesus died for us I was shown things in military you couldn't comprehend Andre probably doesn't believe me when I tell him stuff because it sounds crazy but I also worked in law enforcement without Jesus I would be depressed or dead Andre talk about whatever you won't don't give in to liberals they are the ones that say no religion or politics
In my house, you take your shoes off at the door and slippers are provided or shoe covers. People understand as you can step on spit or whatever before coming over. I will bring shoe covers with me if visiting friends who wear shoes in the house. Just keeps your floors and rugs sanitized a bit better.
I think that makes perfect sense as a method, but I just want to mention that I have never heard of anybody providing slippers or shoe covers, or bringing any to somebody else's house. At least in the parts of the country I'm familiar with, that would be considered highly unsusual. Not bad, just not the norm for the culture.
@@corvinredacted unusual probably for most, but I was raised with Okinawan culture too, so for me, it's quit normal and some friends actually have started doing it too. But I don't believe in pushing my culture on anyone, unless they come to my home. But I think they appreciate that I am showing respect for their home when I come over. Dad is American, so I had the pleasure of growing up with two cultures. Since the US has many cultures, it's interesting to hear how others live. My neighbors who are from Italy, also don't wear shoes in the house...not sure if that's just them or their culture.
Today I went to an appointment at a building with many various offices. I was very early and prepared to wait. The TV in the waiting area had a food preparation show on. I remarked to the young lady who was also waiting that the Lucious dessert being shown made me wish I had eaten lunch. She smiled and said it looked too sweet. The ice was broken and during the chat she told me she was from Lima, Peru. I asked about Lima, and the mountains, and the chat went on from there until her appointment came and got her. She needed to show picture ID and handed him her passport. He immediately began to try out his Spanish. A typical day!
We never wore shoes in the house growing up (New England) and I still don't. Friends know this and will automatically remove their shoes. I have many friends who don't wear shoes in their homes either. A lot of these videos seem to make blanket statements and don't take into consideration regional difference. In the majority of Hawaiian homes people don't usually wear shoes inside.
That very last thing--that lame joke about your boss' name--should also give you a tip about American humor: it can be constant, and making a lame joke (as long as it's not offensive) doesn't usually make you look bad, especially if you make it clear that you know it's bad. :)
Children are often encouraged to use an honorific to address adults, such as Mister, Misses, Miss, Mis. Depending on where they grow up and culture (outside of school), they will use first names with the honorific instead of last names.
@Megan-gd5rl yes. It can also be used to describe the titles Dr., MD, Professor, Lord, Lady, Duke, Dutchess, ... and so on. It is also commonly used when referring to titles and manors of address in other languages.
If the service is exceptionally bad, particularly if your server is rude, you leave a ridiculously small tip. A dollar or two or even some loose change. The server will get the message.
It sucks that certain people's wages can be affected by people wanting to send them a message instead of being compensated for working their contracted hours. Not that you _should_ be responsible for making sure they get payed, but you are. Just something to consider. Employers being able to get away with paying people ridiculously low wages by making you tip is such garbage.
@corvinredacted The OP is correct. Yes a person can have a bad day and end up giving poor service, but the point of tipping goes back to receiving quality service. My grandmother and mother both worked in food services for years and they are where I learned about the principals of tipping. Back in my grandmother's younger days, if a penny tip was left, it indicated poor service was received. I believe the norm for a meal was a nickle at that time. If a person doing service work expects a tip, they should be providing the best service they are capable of giving.
@@CindyDCat Why is that only the case with those jobs? By that logic we should never have set wages agreed upon ahead of time. We should receive the goods/services and then decide afterward what we think they are worth and only pay that amount. A: Leaving it up to customers to decide what your labor is worth _after the fact_ is a recipe for disaster and abuse. B: Customers are notoriously terrible at evaluating what is fair for employees or judging service in a fair and consistent way. They don't even work there. They may never have done anything remotely similar to your job in their life. They may have no idea what your work day is like at all. They just walked in off the street. It's absurd to leave something as important as wages to the whims of random people's feelings. People deserve to get full, previously agreed-upon wages for their labor. Any deviation from that needs to be negotiated ahead of time (i.e. an objective standard that consititutes 'poor work' and specific consequences outlined and agreed upon) or achieved through the proper legal channels (i.e. having an objective, independent court rule whether or not they fulfilled their contracted obligations to a specific standard). Literally like every other job. It's frankly shocking that people can be payed less than the value of their labor with the rest being optional and at the whims of whoever is paying (and who has the greatest incentive to take advanatge of you, just like your boss is doing by paying you a substandard wage and making you live with the uncertainty of tipping instead of a reliable, predictable [or at least pre-determined] wage).
@@corvinredacted People who work in the service industry DO work for an agreed and set amount. Service personnel know ahead of time what their employer is paying and they know that the rest of their wages ARE dependent on the quality of the service they provide. Incidentally, the word “TIPS” stands for: To Insure Proper Service.
Most people that come to my house ask if they should remove their shoes. I don't mind either way as long as the shoes are fairly clean but I keep rugs on the front porch and in the entry way for them to wipe their feet on before entering. I think anyone that has obviously dirty shoes on would remove them. Delivery people most often use shoe covers that they bring with them when they enter. Often times when homes are on the market to be sold, shoe covers will be provided if the home is carpeted to keep it clean for showings. Doing what's considerate is best.
I think the shoe thing varies a lot depending on context. The dirtiness/wetness of your shoes and the type of the flooring are the big deciders. I'll usually leave on dry shoes with no visible mess on them if there are hard floors. I'll oftwn take off my shoes for carpet, but I've also been in some homes with dark, utilitarian carpets that are clearly treated as shoe-traffic areas. On the whole, I think I leave my shoes on mlre often than not. It kind of boils down to context clues and taking cues from the owners or other guests. Unfortunately, there are no firm rules, and it seems to differ a lot depending on factors like local climate and culture. The US is fairly consistent in some ways, but it's still an enormous country with huge regional variation. You can experience culture shock without ever leaving the country (or in some cases even the state).
in the USA its shoes optional inside houses. though no one wants you to track dirt in on your shoes so you may remove them to prevent that. but of your shoes are clean they can stay on inside..
Regarding the shoes thing, it's really not something to worry about. I think it's pretty universal and expected that there'll just be a quick shoe conversation when someone comes in. When I have guests over, I just open the door, greet them, invite them in and then say "You can keep your shoes on or off, whatever you like." When I go to someone's house for the first time, I can usually tell if I need to take them off because they'll have all their shoes piled by the door, they'll be in socks, and they usually have white carpet lol. If I'm unsure though, I'll just ask "Should I take my shoes off?" No biggie. Just ask if you don't know 😃
Not all of us leave our shoes on. I grew up in the German community so I learned to ask if they wanted me to take my shoes off. I would rather leave my shoes on.
The 1938 labor law left out waiters and waitresses so they get about $2.50 an hour and they rely totally on their tips. Many restaurants overwork their waiters and waitresses.
I never wear shoes in my house. I have a shoe cabinet by the front door for guests to put their shoes in. But I grew up in a house with white carpet, so my mother definitely drilled the "no shoes inside" rule into my brain!
My husband and I are Americans, born and raised. We have a no shoes in the house rule because my husband is half Japanese and was raised this way BUT we also both had jobs that made us cringe to think that the grime and junk from the streets and/or hospital (where I worked) would be tracked in onto our carpet where our children crawled, sat, or played on. 🤢 We would Lysol our work shoes at the entrance and put on house slippers that never left the home. We have shoe covers available for guests, but we rarely have guests.😂
Regarding gifts: the video is correct when there's only one present, but for multiple presents it can depend. At parties for something like a birthday or Christmas, usually the gifts are gathered/distributed and THEN you open them. If more than one person has received a gift, they may take turns opening them, or may open them simultaneously. As for the hand not mattering: In many Asian and Middle Eastern countries, the left hand is considered unlucky or unclean. So if you hand an object over or reach for it using your left hand, it could be considered bad luck or insulting. There used to be stigma against left-handedness in the USA as well, some Christians associated it with the devil and some other people considered it a disability. But these days its rare for anyone to care, and I don't think it ever mattered when it comes to handing objects to each other. Certainly not when a gift is involved.
At American style restaurants, you can ask for condiments, but at a high brow place, be careful. 15% is a good base. And skipping the tip would depend on the actual server.
Growing up in the South, the minute we hit the front door off would come the shoes and we'd just go barefoot the majority of the time. Friends coming over to play or visit would kick off their shoes (if they were wearing any) the minute they arrived and I'd do the same at their houses we were inside or outside. It was not uncommon to get home barefoot for our mother's to ask where our shoes were and we'd have to try to remember where we left them. We're in out 70s now, still hate to wear shoes unless "dressing up", and kick off our shoes every chance we get...
My mom was from the south originally, but she moved north where she met my dad and settled down. She also walked around barefoot when at home. I remember it didn't matter to her if she was inside, out on the front porch, or in the backyard- her feet were bare unless she was going out. My dad is from another country, and he would wear house sandals. When I was very young, I went barefoot like my mom. Then I had a neighbor comment on it and I realized no one I knew but my mom went barefoot outdoors. I then started wearing shoes outdoors, regardless if it was just the backyard. And my personal preference as an adult is to wear house sandals like my dad while indoors. These days, the only time I am barefoot is when I lay in bed or get in the shower!
I don't see a comment on here about the tips but you asked specifically. If the service is horrible then you do not have to tip. Another method is leaving only two cents on the table. Two cents means you still tip (meaning u didn't forget), but the money can't buy anything. So basically it's an intentional insult.
You don't have to tip! It's a courtesy not an obligation! You give a tip in appreciation for good service or even somebody trying to give you a good experience. But if they have an attitude or giving bad service without reason, absolutely no tip!
A former coworker was highly educated and had a decent position. She was loud and everyone knew it, but no one said anything about it. I think she knew she was loud. We work in the office so it wasn’t necessary to talk loud because you were always in close proximity to someone, she spoke loud even in a one on one conversation. You can hear her from across the office.
I have left a nickle (0.05 usd/ 5 cents)tip once at a restaurant because the service was horrible. I have also left as much as 50-60% if it was super good. My average though is 15-20% tip. I must wear shoes indoors because I have plantars facilities and need the feet supported. Two safe things to talk about weather . . . “Beauty of a day isn’t it” or “of coarse it rains when I finally get to come here on vacation” something like that. 2. “wow, I see cost here have gone way up too as in my country”
You ride in the front of the cab only if the back is full. It’s three in the back one in the front. The van cabs are more spacious so maybe 7 people inside.
Good to know most of my fellow Americans seem to agree that the tipping system is a dumpster fire. It's important to remember that the employers are the problem, not the employees. They deserve to make a full wage for their work whether customers are happy or not. Especially since we all know how bad customers' judgment can be when it comes to employee performance or who is to blame. Fair wages should be agreed upon beforehand, not decided by each member of the general public _after_ you've already done your alloted hours.
I would say not to ask for condiments if it’s a gourmet restaurant. If it’s a casual joint, sure, but not a fancy restaurant. Same if eating at the home of an excellent cook or at a formal banquet.
Where I am, here in Ohio, in the winter, IF there's much snow, depends, we have areas o brush off and wipe so you should be good to go either way you prefer to do.
I'm not sure this is the main reason some households don't remove their outdoor shoes in the house is because of having a dog and yard. Almost 45% of households have a dog. Yes, we walk our dog twice a day, but he still has to "go potty" in the yard a couple of times a day. We try to make him "wipe his paws," but unless I swept, vacuumed, and mopped continuously, our floor is going to have some dirt. The outside coming in is just a part of parenting a dog - especially a large one. Yes, we do the standard cleaning of the floors weekly, and we both wear either indoor slippers, socks, or flip flops so our bare feet don't pick up any dirt. But if you visited, it's more important that you are comfortable, have some food and beverage, rather than making you take off your shoes. Of course, you do have to get past the dog first.
to key to remember is that tipping isn't a reward for good service, it's to compensate for the fact that we have horrible laws that allow restaurants to pay their employees far beneath miniumum wage and the wait staff needs to the tips just to survive.
I didn't really realize that our compulsive need to smile and say something friendly if stuck in the same place as a stranger- like an elevator or a line -was so unusual, lol. But please, NO KISSING...the large majority of Americans would be incredibly uncomfortable if not actively upset if you tried to great them with a kiss.
At weddings, bride and groom usually don't open the gifts in front of guests.
Generally I've found that my generation did the gifts at an entirely separate event like a wedding shower.
Wedding gifts should be sent directly to the bride or other designated individual, not brought to the wedding. Totally not cool.
@@darcyjorgensen5808 What? I've only been to one wedding in my life that people didn't physically bring the gifts to -- and that was a destination wedding that would have been hard for people to do.
Most people gifted us money and other gifts were opened at home.
@@darcyjorgensen5808 Yeah bringing gifts to the wedding is just adding to their troubles. Nobody wants to have to find places for that stuff on someones wedding day.
I've heard americans were loud, but then I went to Morocco, and HOLY SHIT THEY ARE LOUD 😂
Latin Americans can give us a run for our money too 😂
@@SherriLyle80s In the 90's I taught English to teens from all over the world at a boarding school. By far the loudest group were Venezuelans.
LOL
I’ve been told that if you think the service is not worthy of a tip, you should discuss it with the manager. Bad “food” isn’t the waiter’s fault. Bad service is.
This is largely circumstances. Before you get food, you are expecting to tip. I would consider "bad service" to still be a 5-10% tip. And by bad service, I mean, the waiter ignores you, screws up the order, or does not refill the drink.
Now if the place is slammed, it's obvious the waiter is busy, but trying their best, I would still tip normally.
Pretty much, if the service being bad is the servers fault, you shouldn't tip as well as if it's good. But if it's outside of their control, you should still tip at least an average amount.
@@lilsammywasapunkrock And lots of restaurants pool tips so you would be penalizing the other staff as well. It’s just how they get paid. Until that changes we live with it.
If I didn’t have amazing service I always tip with my card. If the service was out of this world, I tip with cash hoping the server will pocket that tip. If I’ve had bad service or bad food, I’ll usually try to tell someone higher up once I’ve paid and tipped with my card.
Serving bad food is bad service, your server is supposed to make sure your meal is of the quality in which you are paying.
Only if the problems are visible when they pick up the order from the kitchen.. They can hardly taste your food before they serve it to you.
I’ve done up to 50% before. Not because my waiter went above and beyond, but simply because he was struggling so hard because they were short staffed yet I never had to wait real long for anything I needed. Basic service in most instances but he tried so hard to keep service at a standard at least. Not only did he deserve large tips from everyone but he deserved a raise too. I will completely hold a tip back if they are just being lazy and would rather play on their phone. They dictate the raise, I won’t be guilted into paying extra for bad service.
7:40 No loophole: “how are you?” from a store/restaurant employee is a formulaic question which is always answered with something positive. There is no expectation that you will ever answer anything else, and it most certainly is NOT an opening to start a deeper conversation. Just accept that “how are you today? - “good, and you?” -“I’m great, thanks” is functionally equivalent to “hello” - “hello”.
#12: Shoes inside? Ask. I allow people to wear shoes inside my house, but I never do so myself.
On the tipping, the thing the video glosses over is that wait staff in most US restaurants don’t make a livable wage without including tips. It may be more now, but for a long time the wait staff hourly wage was typically $2.35/hour. It’s expected they’ll get at least minimum wage once tips are included.
I have a standard reply for "How are you doing today?". That always gets a big smile and a non standared reaction.
My answer to " How are you doing?" Is "I'm so good. If i got better. I would have to be twins."
texas here! Never ask about politics, religion or guns. these subjects are so controversial. you can actually get into arguments because Americans do love to share their opinions. and don't talk shit about football. love your reactions!!
American here. I've never not tipped waiters even with bad service (bad service isn't always their fault and you don't know what's going on in their lives - remember Americans get little to no vacation or time off or access to medical care & mental health is a problem too). We go no shoes in all the homes of my family. Only my paternal grandparents specifically always had their shoes on.
typically, the wait staff does not even make minimum wage. Their hourly wage is very low in most restaurants. They count on tips to make up that difference. That is why we leave a tip, regardless. The better the service, the better the tip.
yeah they make less than min. like $2.10 plus tip. the tipping culture works out well for restaurant owners so they fight against laws to end it. then you got the bastard bosses that keep your tips... -.- that should be illegal.
In fact, when tax time comes around, they get dinged for an "assumed estimate tip total," whether they received that or not!
@@jacksparrowismydaddy It is not just restaurants. There are studies that show that wage-theft is the number one robbery crime in the US.
About 2/3 of the country either get the federal minimum wage or a higher state wage.
@@SinvareAnd minimum wage is not a living wage.
If shoes have mud or dog poo or if your feet hurt take your shoes off. But if you are one of those unfortunate people with chronically smelly feet, please leave your shoes on.
😂😂😂😂😂
I agree lol
*Flashbacks to growing up with my brother...*
Live in Japan and you will learn
@@barbaraprice7811 no thank you! I’ll stay here in my little country town ❤️🇺🇸😊
The reason we always tip, even if it’s bad service, is the tip tells the waiter or waitress how good we feel they did. If we leave a small tip, like five or 10%, that is telling them they did a bad job. If we leave a big tip like 25 or 30%, that tells them they did a great job. On occasion when I’ve had a horrible waiter or waitress, I’ve left one penny.
Something many may not know about shoes: Portugal and Spain are much like America, with many people wearing outdoor shoes indoors. People think this wearing shoes indoors is only an American thing for some reason, it is absolutely not, hence the reaction he had in this video.
There's polling on it in America, it's fairly evenly divided between households that wear shoes indoors and those who don't.
Your positivity is so refreshing! You always come across as kind and open-minded, it makes your videos so pleasant to watch. Big supporter from USA! 🇺🇸
Honestly, if an American asks you how you’re doing, even if you’re pretty sure they’re just greeting you, you don’t have to say “fine” if you’re having a miserable day. You can be more honest than that. You’ll frequently hear Americans respond to “how’s your day going?” from a stranger with something like “well, I’ve had better.” You’ll likely get the response “I’m sorry to hear that!” They may even ask you what’s going on, and you can feel free to open up a little (though, probably don’t overshare, try to stick to a one sentence, broad strokes kind of answer unless they ask for more details). If they don’t ask you why you’re having a bad day, then respond with “how about yourself?” But don’t feel like you have to answer with “fine” if it’s not true.
The shoes thing is about respecting their space. People in the US have different preferences when it comes to shoes in the house, and it's usually best to follow whatever the standard there is.
If they want shoes off, then it is shoes off.
If they don't require shoes off, then taking them off can be seen as awkward or even too forward as you are making yourself comfortable without their invitation. Generally, as a rule of thumb, if the host has their shoes on, yours stay on unless they ask/offer otherwise.
As was pointed out here, Americans value very highly being the boss of one's own space. Asking permission, and waiting for an invitation before getting too comfortable, or otherwise following whatever house rules they present, shows respect for them and their space.
I agree with some of the other comments - tipping culture is built into the structure of wages for some service jobs. Servers for example, it is legal for employers to pay them much less than minimum wage because it is expected they will also get tips. So customers are expected to pay for part of their wages when you think about it. That is one reason we feel obligated to tip even if the service is poor.
Yeah. I feel weird about taking my shoes off at other people's places, but will absolutely respect their choice.
Would you take your shoes off in someone else's house if they asked you to?
"Yeah, out of respect, but only because I know I'm not coming back."
-Chazz Palminteri
For family parties with all the cousins, aunts and uncles etc, etc, the shoes come off. At a party with a bunch of friends and acquaintances, the shoes stay on. At a family member's house or close friend on a personal visit, the shoes come off.
"Fast food" in this context includes what is sometimes called "casual dining". These are places that are not fast food (not frozen -> warmed or whatever), usually scratch made either in-house or from a local provider...but you order at the counter and either wait to be called or you get a number/symbol and the cook will bring the tray to your table.
This might be a sandwich place, for example - you order your sandwich at the counter and then you get number 97 on a plastic tab and the deli person will call out ORDER 97 IS READY and then you go check at the counter and they'll point it out for you.
Glad you have some small talk ready. I was in an elevator today with 10 other people. The woman closest to the choose floor buttons asked each person what floor they wanted. Then there was conversation about the weather, but we all chatted because the elevator was so slow. But honestly, you could start any conversation with, "Hi, I'm Andre, and I'm visiting from Portugal..." and someone will be happy to tell you directions, or recommend somewhere, or maybe even give a little history of the area. Give an American an "in" to tell you about the states, and you might be there for a while. This is especially in the South.
The shoe thing really depends on the individual household. Some people expect guests to take their shoes off when they come in; some people expect guests to keep their shoes on; some don't mind either way. Of course it's different with workmen: if a plumber comes inside, you expect him to keep his shoes on.
15% is the normal I never tip more unless they are really good then I give more. Bad service 10%.
bad service 0%
@@ripvanwinkle2002😂😂😂😂
The people saying 20% and more are mostly people who get tips and like the extra pay. Most people who have never worked in restaurants don't realize that front of house workers and delivery drivers earn a LOT more from tips than they ever would from an hourly wage...
@@sophiefilo16 right? a good bartender in a relatively active bar is bringing home $3-500 a night in tips over the weekend
You can’t really plan small talk. Asking who is the better sports person/team right off the bat would seem weird. You might get to that but usually you start off with “Did you see the game last night?” What follows can range from “No, I don’t follow sports.” to “Yeah. Did you see when…”
Small talk is about acknowledging the other person. It can even be just a nod to the person getting into the elevator with you.
Cab drivers are often the victims of robbery. Many have been seriously injured or even murdered. Many cabs in New York City for example are equipped like police cars with a partition between the front and back seats for that very reason.
We are not loud unless we are in a noisy bar, stadium etc
As an American, I tip based on service . If you are rude or not paying much attention you get nothing. I've spent 20+ years in the restaurant industry so I don't play around when it comes to dealing with restaurant staff.
I've also worked as waitstaff. It seems like those of us who have done the job have higher standards than a lot of other people who tip to avoid embarrassment.
It’s not required, but sometimes I tip when I feel bad for the waiter. One time, at a Thai restaurant, it was a Sunday and there were a lot of people and only 1 server and 1 cook. I think some people either didn’t go to work or the owner underestimated how many people would come to that place. I felt really bad for the waiter especially and gave an extra tip and left a review suggesting they give the server a few days off.
American here. I despise small talk. It is ok not to engage in it. Just answer with short responses that are not open ended. "How are you?" "I'm great". If you say "and you" it invites a response. You answered their question, so it won't be seen as rude.
my standard "starting tip" is around 10%.
if the service sucks, it goes down.
as the service is better, the tip goes up.
in certain cases, i have left 200% tips, and in one particular case, a 1000% (10x) tip.
i always leave a tip. even if it is a penny under a pile of salt.
The shoe thing varies a lot. I would never ask a guest in my home to take their shoes off, because I don't want them to feel uncomfortable if they'd rather keep them on. Even though I personally don't wear my street shoes in my house. When I get home, I usually take my own shoes off, and either walk around in socks or put slippers on. But I let guests do what they want. Other people will let you know, usually by saying something like, "You can take your shoes off." If someone says that, you should assume that they want you to take them off, even though it's phrased like an option. That old American indirectness, again. If the person doesn't say anything, you can just ask, "Would you like me to remove my shoes?". Nobody will find that rude. If they say yes, take them off, if they say, "if you want to" or "whatever you like" or something like that, that probably means they don't really care either way, and you should do what's comfortable for you.
Small talk is kind of an art. If you are awkward about it or a beginner, wait to be engaged and learn.
I personally find small talk a waste of time. But, I do love chatting up strangers, it’s just typically more of “where are you from?” Than “How’s the weather?” Just prefer something a little more meaningful.
Rule of thumb:
If they hardwood/stone/etc type flooring you can wear your shoes
If they have carpet flooring, shoes off.
Or if you see lots of shoes at the door/in the mud room shoes typically go off in the main house.
If you have really smelly feet, just keep em on.
15% is acceptable. And the rule for tipping is that, if the waiter or waitress made no attempt to make your meal enjoyable, tipping is optional. Don't fault them for kitchen issues and don't fault them for a slip or two.
If you visit the southern US, people you pass on the street might wave at you and expect you to wave back even if you don’t know each other from Adam. Especially in neighborhoods. If you’re not comfortable with a small wave back, a slight nod of the head is also acceptable. Not everyone does this, especially in big cities, but if someone does, they’re not trying to initiate conversation or mistaking you for someone they know. They’re just politely acknowledging the presence of their fellow human beings.
10:57 yeah you can basically do or say whatever you want... Out loud... I used to work at a grocery store when I was younger, and one of the customers, the whole time. He was in the store, at the top of his lungs, would sing opera. He was very good. He was an opera singer... So it's like he would put on a free concert every time he was at the grocery store
But he was literally singing as loud as one of those singers does on stage
Andre, about small talk:
1) Patrick Mahomes
2) Michael Jordan
3) Chevy cars are far superior, but Ford makes better trucks.
Tom Brady is still the goat because he had that winning factor and longevity. Playing as long as he did is part of what made him so great
@@ZachWilsonsMomsFriend he also french kissed his son multiple times on camera.
@@jishani1 😂😂😂😂 that is a good point
About indirectness: Although the examples given in the video are accurate enough, my experience is that Americans are generally far readier to be direct than Europeans are.
To continue generalizing: When Americans are being indirect, they *use indirect words;* they add words of uncertainty, such as "maybe", which let the listener know that the name of the game is Indirectness. Europeans, on the other hand, use *firm* words that say the *opposite* of what they mean, which is confusing to many Americans. An American may be surprised by words that are quite direct, but he still will take them to *mean what they say.* Europeans, on the other hand, seem to have a code-book in which direct words mean the opposite of what they say. These European rules depend on the country, of course; and one generalization is to say that there are two ways-the Teutonic way and the Romantic way.
Let's say you're riding in a train compartment with a stranger, and the window is open, and you're getting cold, and you would find it hard to get up and close the window, so you ask the stranger to close the window for you: somebody following the Teutonic etiquette, such as someone from Britain, would quietly say something like "Oh, yes, sure", and quickly get up and close the window and sit back down, minimizing the gesture, to show that your request has not inconvenienced him-whereas somebody following the Romantic way would loudly say something like "Certainly, my Lady! Anything I can do to make you more comfortable!" and make a big show of doing you a kindness-not to make _himself_ look so _good_ but to make _you_ feel _honored._
Anyway, when we visit one of the Portuguese-born members of my family in America, we and he have a different understanding of certain basics of etiquette. As Americans, we think it is fine that he offers us a drink (non-alcoholic) soon after we arrive at his house. But our agreement that it's polite of him to make the offer is where our agreement ends. In _our_ eyes, if we would like a drink, we should say something like "Yes, a glass of water would be lovely" and he should get us a drink in the low-key, Teutonic style-and, if we aren't in the mood for a drink, we should say "No, thank you; not right now" and that should be the end of it. In _his_ eyes, we are all supposed to follow a script: he is supposed to ask us whether we'd like a drink; we are _supposed to say "No", regardless of our actual desire;_ then he is supposed to _insist;_ then we are supposed to say "No" _again;_ then he is supposed to _insist again;_ and then we are supposed to _give in_ and accept a drink-and _then_ he is supposed to ask us approximately fifty times whether the drink tastes good and whether he should get us some more. In his eyes, the polite thing to do is to follow a scripted haggling-session, in which each side demonstrates to the other that it knows the rules to follow, without regard to honesty and without regard to whether anybody is actually thirsty or not. One might try to solve this dilemma by saying "When in Rome, do as the Romans do"-but, even there, it's tricky: he is in _America,_ where his Portuguese etiquette is abnormal, especially for his American-born guests; _but_ we are visiting in _his house._ In my experience, this is not only a difference between European and American, but also a difference between Romantic and Teutonic.
As an American, in my experience, we're mostly loud when background noise is loud, such as a tightly packed restaurant, the airport, etc. We're not afraid to raise our voices to be heard. However, if things are quiet, I don't see people being loud just for the heck of it.
As an American who's lived overseas, we are LOUD. You can tell if there are Americans at the restaurant when you walk in! In many other countries, you are really supposed to speak more quietly than we Americans are used to.
@@fran4636 I agree American tourists are loud, but American tourists are a certain segment of the population.
Tell us we're loud and we'll just get louder 😂
The PJ thing is new. I think it is the equivalent of wearing your hair in curlers while shopping. Loose clothing maybe, but for heaven sake tee shirts and old jeans are acceptable. If you don’t have any check out GoodWill or Salvation Army!
There is a way to let them know service was really bad by tipping 1 penny. It is an insult.
In the south and Midwest generally the smiling and small talk is more common.
Tipping isn't simply about service in sit-down restaurants. The waitstaff don't get paid as much per hour by the restaurant as the other staff (busboys, dishwashers, cooks, who don't get tips). The waitstaff can make as little as $2.13/hour, even though regular minimum wage is usually $7.50/hr. The tip is to make up the difference, as well as for good service. The rule is that waitstaff get taxed on 9% of their sales as reported by the restaurant, which is why a 10% tip is considered the absolute minimum. Anything they make above 9% of their sales is tax-free income to them. This income disparity is why most Americans feel guilty about not tipping the waitstaff. Personally, I do NOT feel guilty about not tipping anyone else, who makes at least regular minimum wage! Fast-food workers mostly make MORE than minimum wage, and tipping is not required there.
To help explain what he’s meaning about not having to give gifts with both hands or a particular hand is, from my understanding only, that it’s polite in Asia to give a gift with both hands and in Arab/Middle Eastern cultures to give gifts with the right hand because it’s the “clean” hand.
Tipping…the US Chamber of Commerce spends billions lobbying 3:23 in order to keep wages at a starvation level. Waiters and waitresses do not make a living wage. After the Civil War freed slaves had difficulty finding work. Often people who had been house slaves would find work at a tavern or some kind of eating establishment and would not be paid a wage. They only received tip money. And because people in the service industries seldom receive a living wage, their customers pay them through tipping.
My boss is Michael,but we call him Grouch(even to his face while talking to him)and believe me,HE EARNED THAT NAME 100%
1.) Most American restaurants have sugar, artificial sweetener, salt, pepper, and ketchup right there on the tables. 2.) Waitstaff in the USA are not paid a full minimum wage. They get a paycheck at all only so taxes can be taken out. Therefore the tips are not "something extra," but their actual payment. 3.) "Fine, and you?" is merely the standard answer to the standard greeting. The conversation usually goes no farther than, "Very well, thank you," or words to that effect. 4.) Even libraries are not necessarily quiet places nowadays. 5.) We do take shoes off at our house.
I was a waitress in the 70s/80s …. Grew a good customer base over the years and knew what they ate and drank , when they came in they would just say ..”The usual “ they tipped me well and I was grateful ❤
I go to the same drive thru local coffee place every morning. When I pull up, whoever is there asks, "Morning, Shannon. Which is it today? The latte or the hazelnut mocha?" The fact that they remember my name and drinks, and always are friendly, means I tip them 20 dollars (they tip share as they get paid full wages unlike waitstaff) once a week as a thanks. A good waiter/waitress/server is absolutely a treat in today's times, and I intend to make sure they get rewarded for it.
@@shannonbrown309 yes 👍 💞 and you’re no doubt a favorite customer:)
The federal law about minimum wage has an exception: restaurant wait staff can be paid as low as two dollars an hour. This is because the tipping culture is so old and ingrained.
12. is tricky, some people have preferences about shoes in the home. Just ask them before entering their house what they prefer. Usually you can see where the shoes are placed before you enter the house.
Don't belch, fart, or pick your nose, at the dinner table! 😂 Sorry, just my sense of humor 🤪😂😂😂
Don't belch, fart, or pick your nose, at the dinner table! Everywhere else is fine!!😆
@@allies7184 Right!!!😂😂😂
When I grew up, we didn’t take our shoes off when we walked in the door unless you wanted it to. It was not a requirement. We did not have a pile of shoes at the front door. This was true, no matter where we went. Families house, friends house. It was all the same. The shoes did not come off unless you wanted to take your shoes off. And you usually did not do that if you’re visiting your friend.
I would say Americans rely on small talk, we don’t love it. It’s a safe way to have a conversation and get a feel for the other person. Many of us prefer to skip the small talk, but it’s simply the way to talk to people you don’t know well or with whom you don’t feel like opening up.
Friendliness varies tremendously by region.
Here is one for America, Sniffling is considered gross ... in some parts of the world it is considered a gross to just blow your nose in public to just keep it in your nose until you can find a private place to blow your nose, but if you do that around Americans they will consider it disgusting and gross and sometimes rude, sometimes you might actually get Americans offering you a tissue
Oh! I had no idea it would be considered more polite somewhere to shnuffle that stuff back up your nose than blowing it into a tissue! The sound is so obnoxious to my American ears.
I’m from the USA and I am very loud. This is mostly because I care for my mother and she is hard of hearing. So I spend my days yelling everything and will forget when at a store. 🤣😂
WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU
When it comes to the "Fine, and you?" Response for small talk, dont worry about the convo continuing. Normally that greeting ends once the responder says anything, anything at all.
Yes, usually the responder just says "I'm good, thanks for asking" and then it's on to business or whatever you're there to talk about. Or on to meaningless small-talk if you're in the elevator 😄
In DC I often saw big crowds of foreign tourists, and the French and Germans were often super-loud and rowdy.
On the shoes - ask about wearing shoes. It's about half-and-half divided. Just ask when you visit a home.
#11: Please sit in the backseat of a cab - it is for the personal safety of all.
Stay away from politics, sex and religion. That will cut the friendly conversation quickly. 😊
Indeed
It depends. There's a tactful and respectful way to talk about these topics.
Sex is always a good topic to talk about!! Always!! Politics and Religion, proceed with caution!!
Oh Jesus Should never be left out and Andre believes in God so if you don't like it don't ask him to change and politics is extremely important who has control over your country so go stick your head back in the sand and ignore everything important this is problem with people their conversation have no worth
@@MannyLoxx2010listen God is more important than anything else in the world I'm a military veteran and I'll tell you it's fact Jesus died for us I was shown things in military you couldn't comprehend Andre probably doesn't believe me when I tell him stuff because it sounds crazy but I also worked in law enforcement without Jesus I would be depressed or dead Andre talk about whatever you won't don't give in to liberals they are the ones that say no religion or politics
In my house, you take your shoes off at the door and slippers are provided or shoe covers. People understand as you can step on spit or whatever before coming over. I will bring shoe covers with me if visiting friends who wear shoes in the house. Just keeps your floors and rugs sanitized a bit better.
I think that makes perfect sense as a method, but I just want to mention that I have never heard of anybody providing slippers or shoe covers, or bringing any to somebody else's house. At least in the parts of the country I'm familiar with, that would be considered highly unsusual. Not bad, just not the norm for the culture.
@@corvinredacted unusual probably for most, but I was raised with Okinawan culture too, so for me, it's quit normal and some friends actually have started doing it too. But I don't believe in pushing my culture on anyone, unless they come to my home. But I think they appreciate that I am showing respect for their home when I come over. Dad is American, so I had the pleasure of growing up with two cultures. Since the US has many cultures, it's interesting to hear how others live. My neighbors who are from Italy, also don't wear shoes in the house...not sure if that's just them or their culture.
Today I went to an appointment at a building with many various offices. I was very early and prepared to wait. The TV in the waiting area had a food preparation show on. I remarked to the young lady who was also waiting that the Lucious dessert being shown made me wish I had eaten lunch. She smiled and said it looked too sweet. The ice was broken and during the chat she told me she was from Lima, Peru. I asked about Lima, and the mountains, and the chat went on from there until her appointment came and got her. She needed to show picture ID and handed him her passport. He immediately began to try out his Spanish. A typical day!
We never wore shoes in the house growing up (New England) and I still don't. Friends know this and will automatically remove their shoes. I have many friends who don't wear shoes in their homes either. A lot of these videos seem to make blanket statements and don't take into consideration regional difference. In the majority of Hawaiian homes people don't usually wear shoes inside.
That very last thing--that lame joke about your boss' name--should also give you a tip about American humor: it can be constant, and making a lame joke (as long as it's not offensive) doesn't usually make you look bad, especially if you make it clear that you know it's bad. :)
Children are often encouraged to use an honorific to address adults, such as Mister, Misses, Miss, Mis. Depending on where they grow up and culture (outside of school), they will use first names with the honorific instead of last names.
@Megan-gd5rl Mr., Mrs. Ms. Miss
@Megan-gd5rl yes. It can also be used to describe the titles Dr., MD, Professor, Lord, Lady, Duke, Dutchess, ... and so on. It is also commonly used when referring to titles and manors of address in other languages.
If the service is exceptionally bad, particularly if your server is rude, you leave a ridiculously small tip. A dollar or two or even some loose change. The server will get the message.
It sucks that certain people's wages can be affected by people wanting to send them a message instead of being compensated for working their contracted hours.
Not that you _should_ be responsible for making sure they get payed, but you are. Just something to consider. Employers being able to get away with paying people ridiculously low wages by making you tip is such garbage.
@corvinredacted The OP is correct. Yes a person can have a bad day and end up giving poor service, but the point of tipping goes back to receiving quality service.
My grandmother and mother both worked in food services for years and they are where I learned about the principals of tipping. Back in my grandmother's younger days, if a penny tip was left, it indicated poor service was received. I believe the norm for a meal was a nickle at that time.
If a person doing service work expects a tip, they should be providing the best service they are capable of giving.
@@CindyDCat Why is that only the case with those jobs? By that logic we should never have set wages agreed upon ahead of time. We should receive the goods/services and then decide afterward what we think they are worth and only pay that amount.
A: Leaving it up to customers to decide what your labor is worth _after the fact_ is a recipe for disaster and abuse. B: Customers are notoriously terrible at evaluating what is fair for employees or judging service in a fair and consistent way. They don't even work there. They may never have done anything remotely similar to your job in their life. They may have no idea what your work day is like at all. They just walked in off the street. It's absurd to leave something as important as wages to the whims of random people's feelings.
People deserve to get full, previously agreed-upon wages for their labor. Any deviation from that needs to be negotiated ahead of time (i.e. an objective standard that consititutes 'poor work' and specific consequences outlined and agreed upon) or achieved through the proper legal channels (i.e. having an objective, independent court rule whether or not they fulfilled their contracted obligations to a specific standard).
Literally like every other job. It's frankly shocking that people can be payed less than the value of their labor with the rest being optional and at the whims of whoever is paying (and who has the greatest incentive to take advanatge of you, just like your boss is doing by paying you a substandard wage and making you live with the uncertainty of tipping instead of a reliable, predictable [or at least pre-determined] wage).
@@corvinredacted People who work in the service industry DO work for an agreed and set amount. Service personnel know ahead of time what their employer is paying and they know that the rest of their wages ARE dependent on the quality of the service they provide.
Incidentally, the word “TIPS” stands for: To Insure Proper Service.
Most people that come to my house ask if they should remove their shoes. I don't mind either way as long as the shoes are fairly clean but I keep rugs on the front porch and in the entry way for them to wipe their feet on before entering. I think anyone that has obviously dirty shoes on would remove them. Delivery people most often use shoe covers that they bring with them when they enter. Often times when homes are on the market to be sold, shoe covers will be provided if the home is carpeted to keep it clean for showings. Doing what's considerate is best.
I think the shoe thing varies a lot depending on context. The dirtiness/wetness of your shoes and the type of the flooring are the big deciders. I'll usually leave on dry shoes with no visible mess on them if there are hard floors. I'll oftwn take off my shoes for carpet, but I've also been in some homes with dark, utilitarian carpets that are clearly treated as shoe-traffic areas. On the whole, I think I leave my shoes on mlre often than not. It kind of boils down to context clues and taking cues from the owners or other guests. Unfortunately, there are no firm rules, and it seems to differ a lot depending on factors like local climate and culture.
The US is fairly consistent in some ways, but it's still an enormous country with huge regional variation. You can experience culture shock without ever leaving the country (or in some cases even the state).
in the USA its shoes optional inside houses. though no one wants you to track dirt in on your shoes so you may remove them to prevent that. but of your shoes are clean they can stay on inside..
Regarding the shoes thing, it's really not something to worry about. I think it's pretty universal and expected that there'll just be a quick shoe conversation when someone comes in. When I have guests over, I just open the door, greet them, invite them in and then say "You can keep your shoes on or off, whatever you like." When I go to someone's house for the first time, I can usually tell if I need to take them off because they'll have all their shoes piled by the door, they'll be in socks, and they usually have white carpet lol. If I'm unsure though, I'll just ask "Should I take my shoes off?" No biggie. Just ask if you don't know 😃
Not all of us leave our shoes on. I grew up in the German community so I learned to ask if they wanted me to take my shoes off. I would rather leave my shoes on.
If someone wants your shoes off they should ask. Otherwise it should be assumed to leave them on.
@@brandocalrissian3294I think your way puts the host in an uncomfortable situation. The onus is on the guest to ask.
@@brianabc83I'm not taking my shoes off. I'll leave if they ask.
The 1938 labor law left out waiters and waitresses so they get about $2.50 an hour and they rely totally on their tips. Many restaurants overwork their waiters and waitresses.
Weddings are the exception the couple will often open gifts after wedding n of in front of guests
I never wear shoes in my house. I have a shoe cabinet by the front door for guests to put their shoes in. But I grew up in a house with white carpet, so my mother definitely drilled the "no shoes inside" rule into my brain!
My husband and I are Americans, born and raised. We have a no shoes in the house rule because my husband is half Japanese and was raised this way BUT we also both had jobs that made us cringe to think that the grime and junk from the streets and/or hospital (where I worked) would be tracked in onto our carpet where our children crawled, sat, or played on. 🤢 We would Lysol our work shoes at the entrance and put on house slippers that never left the home. We have shoe covers available for guests, but we rarely have guests.😂
No politics or religion in the bar/pub my friend!
Regarding gifts: the video is correct when there's only one present, but for multiple presents it can depend. At parties for something like a birthday or Christmas, usually the gifts are gathered/distributed and THEN you open them. If more than one person has received a gift, they may take turns opening them, or may open them simultaneously.
As for the hand not mattering: In many Asian and Middle Eastern countries, the left hand is considered unlucky or unclean. So if you hand an object over or reach for it using your left hand, it could be considered bad luck or insulting. There used to be stigma against left-handedness in the USA as well, some Christians associated it with the devil and some other people considered it a disability. But these days its rare for anyone to care, and I don't think it ever mattered when it comes to handing objects to each other. Certainly not when a gift is involved.
At American style restaurants, you can ask for condiments, but at a high brow place, be careful.
15% is a good base. And skipping the tip would depend on the actual server.
Where im from you absolutely take your shoes off unless told otherwise
Growing up in the South, the minute we hit the front door off would come the shoes and we'd just go barefoot the majority of the time. Friends coming over to play or visit would kick off their shoes (if they were wearing any) the minute they arrived and I'd do the same at their houses we were inside or outside. It was not uncommon to get home barefoot for our mother's to ask where our shoes were and we'd have to try to remember where we left them. We're in out 70s now, still hate to wear shoes unless "dressing up", and kick off our shoes every chance we get...
My mom was from the south originally, but she moved north where she met my dad and settled down. She also walked around barefoot when at home. I remember it didn't matter to her if she was inside, out on the front porch, or in the backyard- her feet were bare unless she was going out. My dad is from another country, and he would wear house sandals. When I was very young, I went barefoot like my mom. Then I had a neighbor comment on it and I realized no one I knew but my mom went barefoot outdoors. I then started wearing shoes outdoors, regardless if it was just the backyard. And my personal preference as an adult is to wear house sandals like my dad while indoors. These days, the only time I am barefoot is when I lay in bed or get in the shower!
I don't see a comment on here about the tips but you asked specifically. If the service is horrible then you do not have to tip. Another method is leaving only two cents on the table. Two cents means you still tip (meaning u didn't forget), but the money can't buy anything. So basically it's an intentional insult.
You don't have to tip! It's a courtesy not an obligation! You give a tip in appreciation for good service or even somebody trying to give you a good experience. But if they have an attitude or giving bad service without reason, absolutely no tip!
A former coworker was highly educated and had a decent position. She was loud and everyone knew it, but no one said anything about it. I think she knew she was loud. We work in the office so it wasn’t necessary to talk loud because you were always in close proximity to someone, she spoke loud even in a one on one conversation. You can hear her from across the office.
Andre 15% is absolutely average. 20% is for above average service. Don't listen to people trying to milk you
I'm not sure how other Americans do it but I have house shoes and work boot
We go barefoot when it gets warm enough and in and out of the house all day.
WE do generally have shoes on inside.
I've been watching a lot of your old videos and just subscribed. Much love from Galveston Texas.
You can ask us just about anything we will tell you 😂 I had a conversation with at least six different people in line at Walmart yesterday
I have left a nickle (0.05 usd/ 5 cents)tip once at a restaurant because the service was horrible. I have also left as much as 50-60% if it was super good. My average though is 15-20% tip.
I must wear shoes indoors because I have plantars facilities and need the feet supported.
Two safe things to talk about weather . . . “Beauty of a day isn’t it” or “of coarse it rains when I finally get to come here on vacation” something like that. 2. “wow, I see cost here have gone way up too as in my country”
You ride in the front of the cab only if the back is full. It’s three in the back one in the front. The van cabs are more spacious so maybe 7 people inside.
Good to know most of my fellow Americans seem to agree that the tipping system is a dumpster fire.
It's important to remember that the employers are the problem, not the employees. They deserve to make a full wage for their work whether customers are happy or not. Especially since we all know how bad customers' judgment can be when it comes to employee performance or who is to blame. Fair wages should be agreed upon beforehand, not decided by each member of the general public _after_ you've already done your alloted hours.
I would say not to ask for condiments if it’s a gourmet restaurant. If it’s a casual joint, sure, but not a fancy restaurant. Same if eating at the home of an excellent cook or at a formal banquet.
Most American homes I've been in didn't allow shoes. But that was mostly northern states that have a lot of snow and mud.
Where I am, here in Ohio, in the winter, IF there's much snow, depends, we have areas o brush off and wipe so you should be good to go either way you prefer to do.
I'm not sure this is the main reason some households don't remove their outdoor shoes in the house is because of having a dog and yard. Almost 45% of households have a dog. Yes, we walk our dog twice a day, but he still has to "go potty" in the yard a couple of times a day. We try to make him "wipe his paws," but unless I swept, vacuumed, and mopped continuously, our floor is going to have some dirt. The outside coming in is just a part of parenting a dog - especially a large one. Yes, we do the standard cleaning of the floors weekly, and we both wear either indoor slippers, socks, or flip flops so our bare feet don't pick up any dirt. But if you visited, it's more important that you are comfortable, have some food and beverage, rather than making you take off your shoes. Of course, you do have to get past the dog first.
to key to remember is that tipping isn't a reward for good service, it's to compensate for the fact that we have horrible laws that allow restaurants to pay their employees far beneath miniumum wage and the wait staff needs to the tips just to survive.
But it SHOULDN’T BE THAT WAY!!! WE HAVE JUST COME TO ACCEPT IT!!!
I didn't really realize that our compulsive need to smile and say something friendly if stuck in the same place as a stranger- like an elevator or a line -was so unusual, lol.
But please, NO KISSING...the large majority of Americans would be incredibly uncomfortable if not actively upset if you tried to great them with a kiss.
In some Asian countries your right hand is the polite hand to give something to someone else. Etc.