See the world through her Asperger eyes: Wendy Lampen at TEDxDelft
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- Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024
- Wendy Lampen (Belgium, 1969 -- @lampadedromy) works as a lecturer for a university of applied sciences. She got diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome herself. Trained as a teacher in English, History and Ethics she later on worked with adolescents with autism in a school setting.
Next to being an MA in autism, she extensively studied neurotypical (non-autistic) behaviour in order to understand people better. It gave her insight into what really set her apart from (most of the) others: sensory processing and its ongoing processes and the way the two braintypes give meaning to the world they experience.
This hightend awareness made her start her own company with her (neurotypical) partner. From her international experience in how different cultures look at autism or 'disorders' in general, Wendy is an advocate for a neuro-divers society. She focusses on the competences and the possibilities of the different braintypes and how they each can contribute to a richer life.
In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)
How nice that you watched this and left a comment.
Maybe you here the stress in my voice. Partly because of being so overwhelmed. Experiencing and 'reliving' things the whole time. After the performance I was exhausted. But thankful I got the opportunity to have been given the chance by TEDxDelft for bringing my story.
Thank you for sharing your human experience. We need more of these voices.
Thanks a lot, take care! It's great.
Thank you so much for explaining your world . People that are neurotypical should learn about the ASD world. Understand that it your brain and not something strange. Have much more compassion and empathy. 1 in 40 humans are on the spectrum.. It should be taught in middle school so the ASD kids are not bullied and are shown compassion and empathy.
How do You do public speaking? Aint happening here.
Thank you for your words. I suspect to be Asperger, so I'm watching a lot of videos like yours. And as you can figure, I'm doing it not really obsessively, but more and more, until it's satisfying enough. It helps me a lot, because I'm suffering a lot, and these kinds of talks are a relief. Synesthesia and the habit to connect everything with anything is a constant part of my life.
I'm an aspie and the way she describes it seems like some kind of superpower or something. Simply put, overwhelming sensorial input. I just can't ignore any little sound I hear. Light blinds me, I wear sunglasses in cloudy days. Powerful memory. Wild association of ideas and concepts. I have some kind of synesthesia with logical flaws in arguments, I see fallacies with color. Political speeches seems fireworks to me. LoL
+Johannes Grützmann YES! Agreed!
+Johannes Grützmann Any food that alters it? I react pretty wildly on certain types of food.
I'm glad to hear that I am not the only one that struggles with light levels. I wear sunglasses all the time, even indoors if the lights are too bright.
That sounds pretty cool, to be honest
don't you think the wild associations are caused by Low Latent Inhibition? Look it up if you don't know what it is. It's worth reading.
My daughter has asberger but the school system didn't believe it so she left school at sixteen and is doing better because of it
i have asbergers and left school at 16 as well. and ya i just needed to get away from the structure of school and form my own life according to my issue. i was able to teach myself 2 trades and now i live quite happily. I understand the pain the school system brings to people like me and your daughter and im glad she got out, i hope shes doing ok
I'm a 16 year old Aspie turning 17. And I just want to say that no one would ever completely know what it feels like to have Asperger's but only those who has it.
I'm sure about that. Every bit helps, though.
Yeah. I'm glad there are still people who are willing to help.
I'm with you on this one (21 year old Aspie)
sad but true (16 year old aspie)
I'm 31...
I have also Aspergers. It was diagnosed when I was 58 though. So my development was much more restrained, because there was no room in whole my life for being different. That room is coming now. And when I listen to Wendies story? I hear music. She dares to float on the waves, freely. I am about knee deep now. Thank you Wendie! ❤️
That’s good :) I’m still trying to learn how to balance the unique mindset that comes with having Asperger’s with school and my day to day life. I’ve been watching videos on this sort of stuff to try to gather knowledge from other people who have overcome there diagnosis for so long now, when honestly deep down Im now realizing that all I really have to do is not be afraid of how people view me as a person, you just gotta find your happy place (or a comfort zone) and balance it with responsibilities and day to day life, i personally believe when one finds the tools to do that and live comfortably is finnaly overcoming that barrier
My wife used to get frustrated because I would require full explanation of what she is trying to say. And I have told her I need to define everything to understand it. I can totally relate with this.
Hope that my very small contribution can be of any help to you and your wife. Thanks for leaving your comment.
I drove my parents crazy questioning everything.
I honestly feel like that all the time, I need people to explain what they mean literally, they always tell me sometimes they think I have something wrong with my brain.
MayonR I do that too. I need an in depth explanation to see the whole picture. sucks.
A lot of us can't process information,so , because we are attention to detail,we ask questions for information and to understand it properly broken down👍
well... I've got Asperger's to, but most of this doesn't make much sense to me.. guess we're all very different and even Asperger's Syndrome is umbrella terminology like PDDNOS..
Synesthesia in addition to Aspergers probably makes her quite unique. I have AS as well, can relate to some of this but not much.
Ronan RiemanJohns I have AS and Synesthesia, but I STILL don't relate much to what she is saying. If I did I would absolutely loose my mind. Sensory overload at its finest.
Brandi *click* Bear! well, the human experience is different for everyone, even if you are in similar conditions.
I have PDDNOS and I can relate to a lot of what she is saying. I've noticed that a lot of people with autism have synesthesia like me.
The terms "Autism" and "Asperger' basically refer to people who are lacking certain subconscious data processing filters that are present in "normal" people.
Those filters tend to normalize human behavior and cognition. The lack of those filters therefore often leads to extremes: hyposensitivity or hypersensitivity, extreme extravertedness or extreme introvertedness, mental disability or a Mensa level IQ, etc.
Because of this, you'll find that few people are more different from one another than those on "opposite sides" of the Autistic spectrum.
Note, This does not represent how 'most' Asperger experience the world. I have Asperger's, and i its represented only by crappy social skills and intense interests (and a few other minor things), but my senses are seemingly normal, maybe only a bit more sensitive.
Everyone who has autism is different, although there are general themes. Intense interests and poor social skills are just two of the themes . I've been diagnosed with high functioning autism (aka Aspergers) just last week and I don't identify with many of these traits which are typical of Aspergers such as the sensitivity to sound and light and smell but the common themes are there.
HFA is different than Asperger's.
Asprök HFA is not different the DSM5 has changed the diagnosis.
Asperger's is different from Autism. DSM5 is not the only diagnostic tool in use. HFA is different from Low functioning Autism and they are also different from Rett Syndrome, Fragile X, intersexed-XXYY... but these are classed under the umbrella of pervasive developmental disorders. please read the ICD10 code umbrella 45.0. they're all different presentations of developmental disability. there are also many of us, adults, on the spectrum who were diagnosed under DSM4. My diagnostic evaluation will always read Asperger's Syndrome. while my brother's will also always be Autism, high functioning. there are many stark functional and behavioral differences.
I have all the symptoms, but not intense interests. My mom tells me that I used to be obsessed with certain toys when I was very young, but it all stopped when I went into kindergarten. My first 30 years of life can be summed up with learning how to cope with others, so I'm guessing that I learned to not show interests as a child because everyone told me it was wrong. Which resulted in a complete loss of motivation and no interest in anything...
I feel like I'm going crazy sometimes because I want all the answers to how and why people act. It has made me break down. I have to go to the hospital soon, because I can't make sense of the world. It almost feels like I'm in a dream or in a bubble where things are not as tangible to me as they are to other people.
I hope you are doing better, Danny. There are a lot more videos on RUclips now that prove you are not alone in this. Also, some physicians that offer quite helpful advice. Pay particular attention to diet and supplements that calm the distress in your head. And remember, it’s okay to be exactly who you are.
Rx: smoke weed everyday -- Dr. Dre
@@xaviergarcia8274 Works for me 👍🏻
its the matrix
no one has ever described how i experience life in such a precise yet poetical way. thank u, wendy, for translating it to the world. i got very moved!
Thank you so much. That is why I wanted to share my story. For too long a time I thought I was alone or at least had a rare - 'weird' - way of experiencing things. AS is not so uncommon as people might think... we are not that weird, strange or abnormal... different maybe, but that's what makes us unique and special.
Tysm for doing this video ❤️
I just got diagnosed at 23 with ASD and your talk has made me understand myself so much better, I'm still learning what makes me so different from others and this video helps me understand myself. I actually clicked this video because of the yellow drip image because of the feeling, smell and visual image rooted in my past resonated with me and encapsulated me.
The way in which you describe your reality is very much reminiscent of my own.
that pretty much explains my world i have aspergers and im constantly trying to integrate every experience into the whole of my life. frustrating but can be enlightening. just the way our brain works. the problem is stress. the aspergers brain doesnt know when to shut off and even when the body is tired the brain is still trying to make sense of every small unimportant situation. and for all you people criticizing her, grow a heart. aspergers is real and she has a great explanation about it. if u think shes being a bit self absorbed just imagine what its like to live with it. u get much rejection and laughs for the way u behave. every day someone chooses to poke fun at you and u dont understand why. grow a heart
Hear hear, beautifully said. If these people had, knew of someone with, or did just a basic google search of Aspergers, then they might empathise. I think she seemed classic aspie, and if you think not, then don't be so rude as to diss her here.
Exactly erin :-)
Joshua King You captured my thoughts exactly. I find this lady's talk very relateable as I have AS... it's sad that some people would made rude comments about her. I know what it's like being called self-absorbed or just someone who's faking it, when really it's just my extreme self-awareness that allows me to express it... when I hear her talk it's like hearing myself.
Joshua King Aspies need quiet time to recharge so that the mind stills and we don’t suffer burnout
An economist I used to work with used to say, “Everything is connected..we just don’t know how.” Well with a lot of things, I actually do know how.
I was 51 before I discovered I am autistic, and the relief was better than how I imagine it feels to win the lottery.
Suddenly my whole life made sense.
In school I knew I thought differently. While everyone babbled nonsense, I would wander the corridors wondering what made the tides go in and out, and how radio waves worked.
I thought "okay, I'm eccentric. I'll probably be a mad scientist".
I used to escape school to hide in the top of a tower block, and was comforted by the thought that I knew where all the teachers and students were, but none of them knew where I was.
The smell of disinfectant was comforting as I associated it with safety.
"...the empty words most of you people throw at me." that was soooo validating, thank you ❤
I'm a latecomer to an Aspergers diagnosis (now 65+). Probably missed because I'm very high functioning with math, logic, and IC design background. I'll be sure to pour over your vids, Wendy. Thanks!
OMG I have just had such a profound connection with this I want to cry. The sponge analogy. This is how my daughter works. She is 6 and is an aspie. Gosh I love her so much she is awesome. Just awesome.
I call this experiencial memory, where it's more than just facts remembered, but very much like re-living the experience with all the sensations.
You explained this very well.thank you for sharing!
I can relate to the sponge issue. I do not have Asperger's. However, I randomly cannot intake information. Then I can. It's very annoying. I am ADHD, so this may be related to it. I have not heard anyone describe it quite how I experience it, save for in this instance, minus minor differences.
Tyler B I am also ADHD & can relate!
I have social anxiety & i find that we can relate to Aspies in some way. For us, we over analyze & judge peoples expressions. For example, if someone looks sad and they look over my direction, i think that they're sad cuz of me. I know its not true but my brain takes it that way & so i start to feel uncomfortable.. As w/ you Aspies, you may not understand why people do this or that or may not understand their language. Its like the opposite for us. We tend to overthink & over analyze. We also feel like people can read minds. That makes me very uncomfortable! Even when walls are around me but any noise pple make, my brain thinks they're looking at me.
LizXXX it's the same with As what u just described
LizXXX my son says this he has Aspergers
Aspies often have social anxiety
I think they become most angry when I display child-like behavior. There are so many things that overwhelm me; I can't do or understand many things that regular people do. Sometimes, I think, my personality changes. Then they perceive me as belligerent. I try so hard; I feel powerless when people get angry with me-plus it's exhausting- because I have to "act" like a 45 yr old even though I feel like I am only ten, and in some ways can only function at age ten. I feel abused all the time.
Thank you so much for your response. I hope I could contribute a bit to better insights into your experiences of the world and letting you know that this is not as weird as people sometimes claim it is. And just avoid what makes you sick as much as possible, find out what part of your sensory experiences give you pleasure and then once in a while just lose yourself in them. It can be so soothing. All the best !
I'm not on the spectrum but I have a few mental health issues that society likes to misrepresent as well. I was fascinated by her description of what life is like with aspergers.
My issues have led to a lot of introspection and self medication that helped me to realize that life is so much more than what we perceive and that experiencing the world differently doesn't make it any less real.
it's not like psychosis or anything. You're living in the same world, but you experience it differentialy.
most people see it as a disability and I concede that to be traditionally successful in our society, it may well be, but on the larger scale, it's no disability. How boring would it be if everyone perceived the world in the exact same way.
This makes me want to look for art made by people on the spectrum. I want to see how you see the world. :)
Wow... that just made so much sense to me. I thought I was a bit insane. I've read all sorts of things about what Asperger's is and how it works. It's a completely different thing to hear another person, who is actually diagnosed with it, to describe their experiences. I didn't know that there were other people whose minds worked in the same chaotic and overwhelming way as mine :)
Ditto.
I'm aspie too and recognise myself from 9:00 till the end. I got diagnosed in my forties, always knew I was different. Was craving for normality before then. Not anymore, I understand so have stopped trying fitting. So much less stress!
As for me I suspect I have aspergers, but never ever would want to diagnose it. What for? I enjoy being my own self and analyse life slightly more than what a random person would. Plus its nice to not automatically get emotional over fickle things. Doesnt mean I never feel sad. I honestly do once in a while. There was once my sister accused me of being heartless just because she didnt see me cry while attending our grandmother's funeral. I was a young boy. And I also need to understand the function. I simply dont see the function of crying over a death of family. Its overwhelming too. What can a person do against death. It feels helpless, so you just a small kid with no power and you stand there wanting to do something about it but cant. And you get accused of not feeling sad when you actually genuinely feel sad. Sometimes I think people with so called autism might actually be the normal ones
Oh and I was driving once in a traffic jam. Then came an ambulance behind trying to navigate the locked up cars inching forward like every 30 seconds trying to give way. It was two lanes on a ramp, between a highway and a normal road with not even a kerb to drive onto. I see all the chaos and stupidity and did something unusual, I simply stopped moving forward. And I see the stupidity in my father's words as well, until he saw that me stopping the car when everyone else is trying hard to move forward to give way to the ambulance was actually the right thing to do. At the rate the traffic was moving, stopping the car created a space in front of the car so that instead of the two lanes trying to empty, half the cars can move forward out of the ramp and half the other cars can shift to the empty spot in front of the car im driving, actually letting the ambulance go through the jam faster. Im not saying im smart or something, but Im saying that sometimes so-called "normal" people get too emotional and it clouds their judgement and thinking ability
Some aspies are very very emotional.
It is all about being consciousness and where ability is take responsability
I recently got awareness of Aspergers syndrome, and I realized how I am sensitive to lights and certain sounds overwhelmed me. Then I took an AQ test got a score of 30...(32+ is an indication of Asperger's syndrome). Another struggle I have is to keep the conversation going and find the timing to speak during group conversation...I was simply overwhelmed by other people's words and I don't know what expression I should make or how to respond properly...I am learning and improving by forcing myself out of the comfort zone and go to events and volunteering...
Why do people pronounce Aspergers as Ass Burgers, when it's pronounced As purgers as in a purge! As purgers it's a Gee/Jee sound.
Actually Hans Asperger was a doctor from Austria sooo... most people don't say it right ;)
And it doesn't really matter how you pronounce it, in my opinion, as long as you don't talk shit about it - which is unfortunately more common than wrong pronunciation! ;)
***** You didn't offend me rather you made an idiotic joke that can be considered offensive. And as for not making any sense? I'm glad I don't follow the status-quo otherwise I'd hate to be like everyone...a clone following the herd mentality like you sheep do. Sad to say that humans will never evolve past their own stupidity...it's kind of ironic though! The "Greatest" species on the planet yet you mortals commit acts of violence and cruelty to others for pleasure. Oh how backwards you apes are.
***** Thank you for the weird part...I love that because it's as Morticia from the Adams family said " Normal is an illusion! What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly" As for psychopath? Please...don't degrade me to to that of a parasite. Actually there's more to me than you can imagine behind that 10% brain capacity, and I'm more fun in real life, but let's not make this about me alright.
Also thank you for wishing me a good luck.
Hans Aspergers granddaughter explained that their name is pronounced with a hard G, as like in 'good' or 'get'. So the 'pergers' syllable rhymes with burger. So something like As-per-gh-ers. The jers pronunciation makes me cringe whenever I hear it.
Everyone has a different dialect most people for example in America have a hard time understand people from the state of Mass more than someone from India. Both the state of Mass and country of India's offical language is English but both have different dialects. Sort of like the Welsh in England.
For example, people in Boston and England pronounce Worcester as Wooster. More people around America pronounce Worcester as Warchester
I feel like my brain is on steroids.
Not always nice. I have frequent meltdowns and I need a lot of time isolated in order to calm down from all the information around me.
I wish I would have access to videos like these when I was in school. Would have saved me decades of trouble, or at least alleviated some of them.
She sounds as if she has a sensory disorder, not Asperger's syndrome, even though a lot of people with Aspergers syndrome do experience some sort of sensory disorder(s). Not all people with Aspergers syndrome have (a) sensory disorder/s.
Your comment makes no sense, maybe she does have SPD as well? And ASD has a lot of sensory issues without SPD.
What I was trying to say was that everything she was saying about herself wasn't pointing towards Asperger's Syndrome, it was pointing towards Sensory Processing Disorder. It is true that a lot of people with ASD have sensory issues/SPD, but that doesn't mean that everyone with ASD has SPD, or at least not a case of SPD as strong as hers.
You are not a doctor, and even if you were you were you can not diagnose from this video alone. Her sensory perception can be stronger than what you "believe". And from speaking with professionals in our life, yes her sensory issues could be this strong with a ASD diagnosis.
Once you have met one person with autism you have only met ONE person. Every case is different.
That is true, I know this.
Some of the symptoms mentioned are similar to what one experiences out of the physical body while having an NDE, Near Death Experience. For example experiencing everything at once, and Synesthesia. It may behoove some with Aspergers to compare their perception with metaphysics, where the more than what meets the eyes is the name of the game. Incidentally, I do not have Aspergers. I do occasionally hear music when looking at certain seemingly random patterns in nature, like pine needles on the street. I love when this happens and I consider it to be momentary expanded consciousness. It's not only the brain here that's wired differently, it's one's consciousness. Abraham Hicks refers to those with Aspergers as being "differently focused".
That is so cool to meet a follower of Abraham Hicks on a video on aspergers and autism!! 😄👌
: )
+Renegade Mystic I was thinking the same thing. I practice Astral Projection and I think that's one reason why I got it
Renegade Mystic yes we tend to be very philosophical in our world view and altruistic. We are generous, caring and sensitive by nature and can’t fathom why so many people wish to continuously bully and hurt us. We are highly intelligent, ambitious and determined to succeed but never at the expense of others and we want to make the world a better place for everyone. It’s a shame that so many neurotypicals do not value us
"To feel, To Sense, To See, To Touch, Emotions"
So touched that I could be of any help and be sort of a translator for her (and perhaps for you). Maybe she does not have to go through everything I had to go through before having these insights. Do you have a sensory profile of her? Toghether with a good acquaintance (who is also a clinical psychologist) we did mine. Did me the world of good to finally 'understand' my own processing and cognition. Thanks for sharing this. Wishing you and your daughter a world of good.
This is incredible, as a woman with AS I can relate.
Thx for the reaction. Or maybe it's the other way round: you understand my world ;-), which is also refreshing to know there are more like us.
That wasn't the purpose of this at all. This was to give a brief look into a mind that is different, yet becoming more abundant. Rather than advocating a treatment, or heaven forbid, a cure, for aspergers, this video is, hopefully, helping people understand that people don't suffer from aspergers, the just have it.
For me the talk would have started with what she says at the End..there is much more than we are aware of ..so what is SHE aware of ....what most are not aware of..
TheNoCoincidence I’m an aspie and for me everything is connected. My brain doesn’t think in sequence it’s like I get 20 thought bubbles and they all immediately link to each other and tell a story. Everything I see or sense has a powerful energy. Music is heavenly. I always want to learn everything I can about everything. I have many obsessions and always get more. But since everything has such a strong energy it can be bad when say I randomly get obsessed with world war 2 and feel such hellish devastating energies I can hardly get out of bed for weeks. Aspergers is really really cool but I feel like a literal alien and am always overwhelmed by everything. Severe anxiety because I always think how messing up one small thing can end in catastrophe.
Thank you. Inspirational.
Thank you Wendy for sharing your valuable insights and observations on how you process information and relate with the world.Your personal way of how you process your life experiences thru how you sense, perceive, feel and think gives us insights of how may we enhance our lifes' journey, too.
uuuu
As a Aspie this makes me very happy to see us interpreted in a postive way.And so much people in the comment section have it too.It's nice to know I'm not alone.😊❤
I was told that my voice was sounding differently. I was aware of it. It happens from time to time. At times very clear and vibrant and at other times muffled. Exercise and yoga also influences it.
My 13 year old daughter has Asperger’s. This is a difficult age for her and she can’t express what she is experiencing as eloquently as you. This will help us to interact with her and understand when and why she is having difficulty. Thank you so much for publishing this.
I too have difficulty with vacuum cleaners, they sound like a baby is crying. Some say that everyone with Autism and Aspergers have one seed of genius. You are a very good speaker.
jnia fowler
You are not weird at all.
Leaf blowers ugh
jnia fowler actually the line between genius and Aspergers is blurred the two can go hand in hand
dude,you just gave me a flashback to 5th grade.I never looked at the teacher...i was sorta in my own world,I was pretty strange kid back then.The teacher was a straight up bully lol man did she hate me,she actually punched me on the stomach at one point,HURT ALOT!
I love how this woman articulates her experiences. Thank you
"Intense world syndrome" and "sponge" really describes me 100% since I can remember...I constantly associate ideas to objects, objects to ideas, names of people to concepts, taste to smell, songs to temperature, and ever since I can remember I'm just walking outside and making up a full movie in my head with actors, speech lines and background music. I've been diagnosed with BPD but I've been struggling with that diagnosis because it doesn't make a lot of sense to me 😶 still hoping that I get properly assessed...hugs for all of you
Borderline personality disorder could be a fair analysis. It's not always to easy to depict specific disorders due to many factors. Just know that there is no shame in any diagnosis. Learn to embrace it.
It exactly shows how distorted the peception is. Stress takes over
I associate many words and numbers with touch sensations. Not so much for sounds, but I do tend to associate certain music to certain moments and replay it in my head. I'm ok with it, just don't try to explain it to others who would think I am strange for saying 3 feels soft and fuzzy or the word cake feels like a pointed stick.
Verbal information can be tricky for me. I've adapted quite well by latching onto key words and filtering out what doesn't seem essential. If I try to take in every word, I stumble on the words and will miss everything being said.
Funny that under certain conditions I tend to feel a little mentally slow at times, and under other conditions I'm mentally very quick. Guess the trick is to figure out what those conditions are and try to use them to your advantage. If one has the described type of mental processing patterns, one could potentially develop into a remarkably creative and innovative thinker, since they are already adept at bringing seemingly unrelated ideas and concepts together to form fantastic new ideas. The biggest hurdle for people that think like this is probably their confidence, because others can at times be quick to criticise them, directly or inadvertently damaging their confidence and discouraging them from doing what they do best.
Me This yes my confidence was shattered years ago from over 17 years of endless bullying
The social aspects are my biggest problem right now. I often have trouble expressing myself and people misunderstand me, which results in most people becoming angry with me. I try so hard to make them understand that I am not being bad but they won't believe me. No matter how many professionals I enlist to help me function in society, they all get angry with me, bully me, and refuse to acknowledge my human rights. I don't mean to anger people-I just can't stand that they won't listen or help me.
Hey hey hey hey have you tried DBT?? It may help you with the experiences you undergo when people misunderstand you. And or waiting awhile before you speak/gathering thoughts first? Hmmm.
Once a woman said to me, ' Maybe it's not you who needs to change for society', sort of thing!
Like, not 'change the whole of society'- that is very complex and multilayered for a person when they're just surviving-
But to change your surroundings and your daily schedule to your benefit so that you are surviving and functioning in the best way possible for you to survive!
Some ways are paying attention to your sleep cycle, what ways you best recieve information, what time is best for you focus wise. What foods help you best, how much handling other people is best for you. What relaxes you best when you're freaking out, and how to do it in a way that doesn't cause trouble for you.
What are the things you need to express, want to express, and what's the simplest and easiest way to express them? Stuff that would take awhile to think about, but may in the end help you out and make everything more fun or doable! Sorry about the inclusion of the word fun, that's just how my brain works, LMAO;;. I guess for some another way of putting it would be safe or simpler.
DBT though can help you with grounding, handling emotions, and communication, definitely. I mean, I'd generally say anyone could try it and come out happier LMAO at least if they keep up with it. Small ways, small things. Small ways to focus and handle the experiences the world around us provides. Even just looking up small activities online, like the mindfulness aspect of holding something and trying to take note of one feature at a time, and deep breathing. But...
You're with you the most. You understand your limitations better than anyone. So it's okay. It must be awful to have others get mad at you when you're just trying to talk- I can't even imagine it. But.. hm. You're worth so much! And I hope you find a way to exist in this society that's pleasant for you and doesn't let it drag you down, um, sorry if that sounds weird!
Sorry for late response!
I completely understand. I was diagnosed with Asperger's in 2014. In recent years I produced a document of over 100, 000 words or so of my childhood experiences in Belgium where I was born. This was based on my five senses through which I remember my childhood experiences that I cherish deeply. I have also realized that we have eight senses instead of just five. This has made me return to my document joyfully and expand it. My next write up will be the second part of my childhood from age 10 onwards of my experiences in the UK. I have already created a template of all the addresses that I lived in. Through this framework I will dissect sensory information contained in my memory. They say short term memories are usually lost in childhood by the age of around five because different sensory information tends not to attach together but for me it is the opposite. I become overloaded with sensory information. So there is no shortage of sensory information coming together in my mind. I am a neurodivergent meaning my brain works differently than most so called normal neurotypicals.
After sharing some of the ways that I process information and my working habits with a psychologist friend, he mentioned that I might be on the spectrum or have Asperger's. I never really thought about it (and have been masking for so long that I never even considered being aspie because that would make me "different"), but everything you said hit home. It's scary but feels so good to learn more about myself and to no longer feel so alone. Thank you for sharing.
Hey - do you want to share what yours habits are? Just if you want. I am in the process of figuring out if I have Asperges... :-)
I wonder whether wendy smokes a lot. Her voice has the smell of it. (I have Aspergers)
...
She sounds like a heavy smoker to me too, was looking for this comment.
How advanced is your computer that you're able to smell through videos?!?!
...
Hidan - your question is his point (and that of the speaker in this video). Synesthesia. ;)
People laugh when they see something different and this is ugly .
Good job! Says how I feel but couldn't articulate. I know exactly what you mean about completely reliving something
Thank you for sharing. You are correct, many of the things that we aspies experience are seemingly impossible to explain until you meet likeminded people. There is much to be said about the lack of vocabulary in language necessary to transfer such concepts to minds that have not had the same experience.
nathanraylewis yes we suffer ptsd from past trauma and I hate it when neurotypicals just say get over it move on forget it because it is impossible. We just have to try to use better strategies to cope with it because our psyche will be permanently scarred from the experience like our skin is physically from conditions caused by stress, anxiety and depression and then there is the burnout
I have watched many other videos posted to youtube just trying to learn everything I can about the disorder so I can understand certain things about myself and others better. Other videos showed comments like one from this guy online saying that my family was a bunch of retards because we all had some form of autism on the spectrum. So I am really happy to have found a place and people who can understand and accept these comments
I never realized that people have remember things other than the way I do, which is almost exact how she does, me having aspergers. People remember things other than this? I can't comprehend it.
Its amazing how so many people who have Doctorates and PHDs watch you tube videos and diagnose people.....
I only need 2 more barcodes from the cereal boxes before I can get one as well :D
Thank you so much. I am just learning. My mind just goes back to when my grandchild was a toddler I knew he did not like the vacuum. I would set the mini vaccine where dangerous things were so he would not go there. (Example, a bookshelf I knew was not secure so I placed it there so he would not sit on it). I knew even as a toddler he was brilliant. He would sit on the back patio and draw up a plan as to where, and what order he would be playing in my small back yard. At 4 he drew up a plan as to how to re-route water from Niagara Falls Canada to Flint Michigan, to handle the problem of lead in the water poisoning their children, to then use the by-product, to fill a sink hole that appeared elsewhere in Michigan. Then at 7 (last month) he was diagnosed with Autism. I only saw brilliance, but now I see clearly, it was all there. I know his drawing plans as to what he would do, kept him safe from doing it. As you spoke I knew my grandson will be ok, I see you in him. My heart hurts that I used a mini vac, although always turned off, not realizing, all that it put his little mind and body through. I am grateful for your talk, where as a one comment made, spoke to the fact that one experience does not fit all, your experience has fit for me, giving me a chance to better sit with my grandson with a knowingness, that will better help me understand him, like when what flavour of ice cream he likes came several weeks after we were in the ice cream store. Again, thank you.
relatable. thank you.
I'm not convinced that having Aspergers is the syndrome. I like creative, poetic (sometimes), trippy people that think outside of the box. People of the mind have brought so much to society, by just thinking about it. I think the problem is 1: the people WITHOUT Aspergers and 2: the diagnosis of these traits as a disease. My armchair commentary.
I have a similar yet very much less severe version of this. Thank god I do, I wouldn't know what to do if I could filter out even less sensations
Keep fighting to process and make the world make sense as you need it to! Good luck don’t give up praying for you Danny Bailey.
I understand you. And I think you’re a genius
In these 10 minutes, I've been given a verbal expression of my 7 yr old son's wonderful mind, that he has been unable to articulate. This has been beyond enlightening; I'm in tears and overwhelmed with gratitude for helping me understand and connect even deeper.
the very begging got me overwhelmed so quickly.
in the water, legs over the head, pink gooey dense stuff.. Sounds like childbirth
She titled it Asperger's but she's talking a lot about co-morbid disorders...
Rand Zopyr definitely but it’s still very interesting
One ofy favorite videos of all times. Overwhelmingly beautiful. Thank you.
...SO.....
What can friends and family do to make you..
Feel GOOD?
Feel HAPPY?
Feel SAFE?
Feel LOVED?
I agree. I've given all I have for 12 years despite fighting illness myself and my husband is never happy or sad. But every conversation we have I say something wrong. He says I want to be miserable! I'm in the process of starting a divorce.
With me it's a certain color red, gives me a weird feeling. And I have a normal brain. I think it comes from a color of something I either owned or a car colour but it really impacts on me. It takes me more seconds to will myself to look at it.
My aspergers symptoms get more intense when I drink. For example. I didn't sleep last night because I found the sun irritating. So I guess I will just wait until it's dark.
setzertrancer It’s a shame you can’t adapt your life to be a night owl and work at night whilst sleeping in the day it would definitely help
Thank you for this! You just described a world that I live in. This is xplains a lot. Till now I thought it was like that for all the people.
That was my discovery too. Same with 3D thinking and imagery. Totally blown away when I was in the Engineering Program and the Department Head was ticked off that I had not built the 3D model to be able to track three dimensions. I told him I did not need it, because I had built it inside my mind. He said I was a liar and that only Tesla could do that. I was shocked to learn that not everyone could do that. Then decades later I learned what this dear woman shared, that not everyone thinks like this. Ironically I was doing research to better understand two Girl Scouts in my Troop who are Aspies.
In the process, I realized these ways of observing and storing the world in memory. Recall/summoning memories. Conversing with others and an inability to “read” others, etc…..we’re all me.
Now, Diagnosed,….I have found my Tribe. :)
I just didn’t appreciate the way she kept saying,”You people.” She most likely didn’t mean it in the way she said it though.
WONDERFUL descriptions! When you said "everything happens at once" I said to myself "yes, yes that's it...that's it!" Interesting notion about seeing music. I am someone who enjoys music-in fact, I have a BA degree in music-but I rarely listen to it as it interferes with the peace I feel in hearing white noise. Without white noise a pressure begins mounting in my ears and they become full and physically painful. The pressure feels explosive. I feel I have to escape the silence or go insane.
You surely are not. Always makes me feel good as well if I know there are more of 'us' around. Challenge is finding the balance between getting totally overwhelmed and making the most out of this unique quality we have. Wishing you all the best.
i have aspergers and the things she says makes no sense to me but were all different i geuss
Isn't she explaining synthesia?
Scarlet Peoni yes which was really interesting as I hadn’t really understood the concept properly before.
I can relate completely to The vacuum noise, alarms, ambulances sirens, and the like....
I am a 23 Asperger's College Student... and while I am slowly adjusting to others and their emotions as well as their need for physical attention such as hugs...one thing I just can't wrap my head around is dating as an Aspie. Especially because of how sexually active of a culture we now live in and myself wanting to remain a virgin until marriage. Now that, is an interesting topic. I have been on one date so far and he pretended it never happened because I didn't let him kiss me. Now I have realized, a relationship can come later and my focus is on getting into and through medical school. People like us who can overcome stigmatisms about Asperger's like Wendy, speaking in front of so many people in a spotlight with a cheering crowd in front of her? They're heroes. But next time talk about dating with Asperger's!
You can't. It's different for everyone on the spectrum, you can go from asexual to hypersexual, often disphoric too..
Antonio Palumbo sorry can you explain to me what disphoric means I’m familiar with the other terms
- My parents dont understand why I stay all night on piano and make music I have get a 9 years medication to know i dont need it, I draw, I make ilustration, I experimentate Synestezia from cyldhood when it,s June it's yellow,blue smile, I remember solution in partition of ''time''
but to late after month, years.. I love fusion of colors of existence , my parents dont understand me ,I want to have a girlfriend on my chest,
'I want to say to her I understand you'' ...
She calls it leaky brain. I call it sticky brain.
She has it tough, but interesting to hear.
Good point, why do we have to live up to the expectations of others. They have labeled us as being different. So if we are different, why don't just accept it and to try to 'normalise' us... I can only agree on you choosing your own strategy in avoiding eye contact. Only you yourself know what is helpful, what is good for you and what is not. Thank you for sharing your story and by doing this helping out others;
knowing that you are different is the first step to knowing what to do
PS i have asperger
Dolls
I'm the father of a 5 year old Aspie child, and sometimes I simply can't be as understanding as I wish i could be, because I don't know what he's going through.I read about it, I have listened to many people speak about it, and I have sat and tried to imagine what I would do and how I would react if I had Aspergers. My problem is I have a lot of trouble distinguishing between Aspergers traits and just being a 5 year old. Many things he does are easily identifiable but sometimes he will do things, say things, or just behave in a way that I don't know the difference, and it's hard to slow myself down, to react as as I know I should vs how I do, because I have a neurotypical brain and my reactions to stimuli are neurotypical. I'm not asking for anyone to say "poor baby", but I would just hope that You, as Aspies, would understand that most of the world just doesn't see, hear, taste or react like you do, and we have to learn as well. It's like taking everything we know about how to react to an event and telling me that I can't do that any more because it's an Aspergers related event, and that s/he can't help his or her reaction, because it's the only reaction he or she can have. As patient and understanding as we must be, I ask that you are at least aware if not understanding. I'm trying, I promise. I want my little boy's memories of his daddy to be happy, loving memories, not just flashes of my anger or annoyance. I love my son with everything I have, and it kills me inside when I know that I have just shouted at a little boy who is flying into a rage in public because he's just seen something that he wants me to explain but I don't have time because we'll miss a train if I stop to tell him everything about it, or just vomited his entire meal at a nice restaurant because he just had a texture of some food on his tongue that he could not handle. Sympathy I don't need, and neither does he. Understanding what sets him off and what drives his enthusiasm. That's what needed.
Colin Dew it’s a continual learning process for both of you especially if he or she is unable to explain it. The best thing you can do for them is help them to find their strengths and learn ways to ease the situation with their weaknesses. Also psychological testing with a clinical psychologist specialising in Autism will identify those strengths and weaknesses for you and give you targets to focus on. Not only that but there is funding for early intervention programs to support you that are vital. The sooner you start the easier your child’s future will be. My regret is that I was diagnosed until 23 and experienced some really awful situations. I was personally bullied all through primary and secondary school as well as in the workforce to the point where I had to leave permanently on stress leave so that my only income is a disability pension.
The part about "living" thoughts/memories, agreed
Aspie here and this didn't make much sense to me
Whooo, impressive talk. She seams to have understood and be in control of her surroundings, where as i only begin to scratch awareness and horror of the huge gap between worlds.
God played in the dirt first. You are perfectly and wonderfully made. 🙏
(I do not like vacuums either)
Amen!!!
Buy a copy of DSM, read cover to cover, discover yourself.
Actually, those of us who have Asperger's are usually high IQ/intelligence, above average at the least. The problem is, in part, that average IQ/intelligence, cannot understand what we know, feel, smell, taste, see and hear etc, and how we think and come to conclusions on things, as we are wired differently and usually have a different way of thinking and of explaining things. I hope that made sense?
I just want to say that watching this movie with AS was so very strange to me. When it started, I was getting mixed reviews in my head until I realized the filter I'd made for myself in my brain to help me understand everything as normal people do was telling me that this was supposed to be confusing. Except it wasn't actually confusing to me. It makes perfect sense. More sense than most other speeches have ever made for me.
Just thought I would share that. Thank you, Wendy, it helped. :3
Very interesting. Thankyou for your explanation,
Thx for the reaction. Yes I have met al lot of those. Also under-stimulation. The sensory issues are one main fears of Aspergers (But not exclusively to Aspergers). The way we sense the world is inherent to how we make sense of the world. Understanding/regulating emotions: as well as with the sensory issues it often is all or nothing, intense. Sometimes even hard to put them in words. Olga Bogdashina's book(s) on sensory issues explain a lot. Maybe this can help making more sense of things.
What a wonderful reaction. I instantly had a physical reaction as well. It really gets to me. Thank you. It always makes me feel that I'm really OK when I find people who experience the same as me.
Music... sigh... I love it. But as you say...white noise. Did you know you can have hearing aids which produce white noise? An friend of mine has one and it helps her to keep out the outside world a bit better and give her more peace of mind (literally ;-)).
I have aspergers too. When I was a baby I slept sitting up. I have a very good sense of smell.
Thanks for sharing your story. People with Aspergers are indeed not ill, so they do no need to be cured. As goes for all humans they learn en then for some it might seem that they no longer 'have' Aspergers. Some traits one simply outgrows as well. And as you say, it has nothing to do with intelligence. Some people, with or without AS(d), have more cognitive abilities than others. Wishing you all the best with the study.
Have you met many aspergers who do experience too much sensory stimulation? And most importantly, do most aspergers claim that they experience everything in such a incoherent manner, where they perceive something, then have to make sense of it all, ...ect. ?
A doctor has considered i might have aspergers, but think i function like most other people, although i have problems understand/relating my emotions.