Drew Lynch Stand-Up: Why Vegans Are The Worst
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- Опубликовано: 12 авг 2020
- Drew Lynch Stand-Up: Why Vegans Are The Worst
I'm vegan so I can say that.
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I spent 10 minutes waving at my neighbour this morning before I realized she was cleaning her windows.
Sounds like 10 mins well spent
Lol
She must've been thinking you were washing your windows with your bare hands.
HAH I'm so sorry
10 minutes? 10 seconds is a long time to wave. Lol
Talks about how vegans immediately tell you that theyre vegan, while subsequently immediately telling the audience hes vegan. Hahaha I loved this. Great show man!
INCEPTION. Thanks man! Did you know I'm vegan?
Drew Lynch I thought you were Drew
@@TheDrewLynch All the dislikes are from vegans that didn't watch the entire video.
I'm vegan, but I love your videos. 💝
@@TheDrewLynch I had no clue, until this video. I think thats great man! Ive been vegan for a long time, so it was a pleasant surprise to me
Respect! Drew, Let's hear it for the vegans! 👏👏👏👏
"grandma I cant eat gluten. So no flour wheat or rye"
Grandma: So no bread? Do you want some cake instead?
Yeah, this is exactly it. You say it and they immediately begin listing each baked good and pasta individually, as if there's magically less wheat in spaghetti than penne.
Could make rice flour 🍞 or what about oat flour?
Statistically speaking, it's extremely unlikely that you can't eat gluten anyway. So, who cares?
@@dallashill5771 excuse me what 😂 it's actually pretty common. I know multiple people with celiac, it's really not that uncommon/rare.
@@zlacat179 I've met one person and most medical journals say that even if it is common most go undiagnosed.
So, you can believe that if you want.
Cow: Hi guys-
Farmer: *Ah, the chosen one*
memento mori
Unus annus
Momento Mori, friends. Only so much time left... make good use of it while you can.
Memento mori fellow unnus and Annus, though it may not look it I am one of you, but don't forget, time is running out
Memento Mori
Unus Annus
Memento mori friends. Make good use of the time we have left. Unus annus
My buddy Hunter used to be vegan. We called him Gatherer.
I love that
That's an old one mate.
My name's Hunter and I'm vegan... I really hope people don't call me that haha.
@@tobi-uh3hw Hello Gatherer-
the reason I love youtube comment section to find such gems jokes
"Vegans are like sex offenders."
"Cows are like strippers."
These analogies are getting more advanced
New York Strippers maybe
bruh im just vibing with my veggies stop coming for me
Those veggies are coming for you! I'm also very gassy
@@TheDrewLynch I'm still a legend where I grew up for being gassy. Let me tell you it was hard enough to get dates growing, then you factor in being known as the Gas Man didn't make it any easier. I was also on the school wrestling team. Let your minds run wild with the possibilities.I had to move out of state to finally find who would say yes to a date. But I was working against time. Finally I found a woman who was marginally hard of hearing and also did not have a strong sense of smell. Imagine my surprise when she broke-up with me because I was an as$#*le. I'll let you think about that for a minute. I finally found a Dr. who helped with my bodily issues, but appearantly nobody has been able to help me with my other problem.
*mood immediately lifts 99%*
awwww 🤗
What about the rest 5%?
(Sorry I'm bad at maths).
@@sinister2423 I already had that, also its 1 percent if your not joking :D
Sinister悪魔
You don’t say....... idk if you’ve ever counted to a houndred but it only take one more step after 99...
How old are you? If you don’t mind me asking..
I’m trying to Hirt your feeling or anything...I’m just..idk..
“I’m vegan” can’t tell if comedy, or reality. Drew is a comedian after all.
he is the veganliest vegan to have ever veganned
Higashi-Chan makes sense, but what about the pigs inside of blankets though? I mean at the very least someone is going to be eating duck feathers at some point, or if not duck, definitely goose.
No, I'm really vegan. It's rough!
Lol
@@TheDrewLynch Make sure you eat enough!!
I’m so glad drew is back to crowds in real life!
I'm not though...this was from Toronto in March, right before corona hit
Drew Lynch
That sucks. Not being able to see your fans in public. But I do love what you do!!
The chances that I would come across somebody with my same profile pic was like 0.0000000000000003%. I don't even understand how this happened-
sunflower dreamer
Omg I saw someone that had the same pfp as me too it is really rare
Minamori Hero sunflower gang
Non-vegans: Why do vegans always tell us they're vegan?
Vegans: *Need to eat*
Non-vegans: Can I offer you a burger? Latte? Slice of cake? Chocolate bar?
Vegans: *Sweating in not wanting to out self*
Or maybe they can say "hey can I have this specific food (which would be vegan)" instead of going UHM WELL I'M VEGAN AND I RESPECT ANIMAL RIGHTS.
There's a difference between annoying vegans and ones with some etiquette.
@@immortalcloud2918 I've never met a vegan that actually says that though... All the ones I've met don't like to make a fuss. Plus you would be amazed at how many "standard" foods aren't vegan. It's a minefield.
@@CraigyDizzle Oh I know about what's vegan and what's not. I understand that. You must be around some pretty civil people, then.
CraigyD I agree I feel like if you talk about animals or just even have a discussion about animal rights & people be like omg wtf don’t push ur beliefs on me. Talking about a societal issue shouldn’t be controversial. I haven’t met a super judgy vegan. I feel like it’s an internet supported stereotype.
@@immortalcloud2918 in my experience I've seen more meat eaters mocking vegans than vegans being pushy... 🤷♂️
I love how you can hear a typical dad laugh after the slow-fast joke
'no I can't do animals'
'so no chicken or fish?'
'do you know what animals are?' spot on . 😂👌
hey, you got a point there Drew, but at least the pigs won't tell the cops where the drugs are hidden.
Wouldn’t they though? 🤔
@@letterborneVods no. And they eat dead bodies.
That statement is very profound because it kind of caters to your point and his!
You: Hey Drew at least they won't tell the cops where the drugs are.
Drew: yeah dude thanks for that input, so what was I saying oh yeah dogs are smarter!!
Well cops are known as pigs so
@@_02kaye and gangstas call each other DAWGS!!!!🤯🤯🤯
Ah yes, my day is automatically better. I had a bad day so seeing this upload made me happy. I laugh really hard at Drew's videos lol.
The way he talks about cows makes me think Drew never met a cow either...
LOL shhhh
The word "Sentience" will from now on find a way into my daily vocab😂👌
Do it for the cows 😎
*reads title* -But I'm vegan...🥺
💚
ME TOO!
@@TheDrewLynch OMG ME TOO PLEASE LETS GO BURN DOWN A FARM OR A HOT DOG STAND OR A HUMAN I DONT CARE BURN IT
Same :D
@@unoriginal1086 this is why people hate on vegans lol.
Telling my family when I went vegan was a lot more scary than if I were to tell them I was gay. I don't think a single person I know would have made fun of me if I was gay, but it took a long time for my own family to stop mocking me.
As someome whose both come out as queer and became vegan, the reaction was pretty simulator (although more staight offensiveness and slur usage for being queer) all though the period of my parent seeing my diet as "silly and unnecessary" has been longer and yet to be over.
@@randomwhatever5403 Yeah, not supporting animal cruelty. So silly! Lol. It's really tough with people when they find out you're vegan. So many people are stubborn and stuck in their ways. It's like they're on a train and can't get off. They just have to keep doubling down on discrimination. Fortunately things are changing though. Veganism is one of the fastest growing justice movements.
people are just too comfortable with their sexuality these days, so they dont feel attacked by you being gay. But they sure are not comfortable with the reality that they needlessly harm animals while you are thriving on a vegan lifestyle, so they feel very attacked there
Drew you are one of the few comedians who is such a natural when playing off the audience. So quick-witted. It’s impressive!
I put off watching this for days because I thought you were gonna rip into me for being vegan but the fact you are and I'm also the latter who keeps it so secret some friends don't know it's been two years I actually enjoyed this... Glad I clicked on the clip
DONT LET THE VEGAN TEACHER SEE THISSSS!!!
"You guys should sit down."
"We know."
"I'm ve- wait what?"
"Wait what?"
😂 I'm dead. Bruh.
Drew I’m not kidding my guy I seriously think your one of the strongest stand up acts out rn. Keep grindin mane👍👍😎
This is like Daniel Sloss' comedy skit, but it's funnier.
Drew, you help me get through some tough stuff so thanks... Also I hope you'll have a show in the Netherlands one day... I'd love to see you live
Hey, that's really nice, thank you for sharing that. Hang in there ❤️I was supposed to be in Amsterdam next month actually but it's not looking good due to the coronavirus. I'll be back for sure
@@TheDrewLynch omg, you reacted 🤗🤗🤗I'll be waiting for news😚
The cow / stripper comparison made me laugh way harder than I should have 😆🤣
Vegans: Pigs are just as smart as dogs!
Drew: Really? Because dogs have come up with a way to NOT become breakfast.
Edit: Guys, you DO REALIZE he is a comedian and this was completely a joke???
Not in China though.
Katherine D there are pigs at a sanctuary that learned how to shower themselves!
@@lonelyclouds8996 Dogs can save people trapped in forests and mountains. Can track wild game. Can detect cancer in you when its microscopic.
@@lonelyclouds8996 And the pigs you are referring to are what, barely trained? Just kind of pick up things? Which you dont even describe these amazing feats they are capable of. I would say diagnosing cancer is rather remarkable for an animal wouldn't you? How about being a guard dog? Or a movie star? Dogs wipe the floor with pigs. They can actually herd them as well. Never seen a pig herd a bunch of dogs.
@@lonelyclouds8996 That is ridiculous. Dogs are definitely more emotionally intelligent than pigs as a general rule. Pigs will even eat you if you fall in the pen. Especially children. All I was asking is that if you make a claim, especially as vague as "they are way way smarter because the can be trained to do "things", that maybe you provide a scrap of evidence for it? Or should I ask Babe to do the research?
If I ever went vegan it wouldn’t be for the animals it would be because I hate vegetables
...
Gotta prove who’s superior, eat em up
Wait a minute-
😂😂😂
Oh cuz u kill vegetables by eating them... Clever guy
Drew says he’s vegan
Me: I thought you were American 🤔
Drew this was so good😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Does anyone else forget to look at Drew and just ends up looking at the subtitles the whole Time?
Drew that vegan teacher is gonna be mad😂. I stay up till like 1 in the morning to watch your vids love them so much. And the cow joke had me in stitches
But he’s vegan soo
Civil war between the vegans
Drew Lynch i don't know what I would do without you I'm so glad you've been such a positive inspiration for me thanks to you its okay to stutter and be yourself
Thanks, man. Appreciate that and you. Hope you're keeping your head up during all of this!
Hey drew! I just wanted to tell you that I just barely watched your AGT golden buzzer moment and I just wanted to say that you totally deserved it and you totally deserved that boost to your career so everyone can see who you are today. I think everyone is here because they love everything about you. They love your stutter. They love your positivity. They love how you can do anything and still make it funny. They loved your goofy hair (in your AGT moments) they love the way you dress. I just want to say that we are with you through every hard time and that we love you. Keep up the amazing work!
Dude. You're legitimately hilarious. I was guffawing watching this. AGT was fantastic, but this clip makes me actually want to buy a ticket to see you... when we can, you know, see people again. Keep it up you have a real talent!
My in-laws when I'm gluten free: can you have crackers/bread/flour? Wtf.
I love your comedy! Lifts my mood every time I watch one of your videos!
It's so good to see you on you tube mate. I love your stand up.
Well since you brought it up, I’m vegan too! My energy’s higher... I sleep better 😂
It really is! And you really do!
I'd say it made me lose my friends but I never had any 😂
That’s what Cocaine and ambien do
and I don’t have to tell anyone about that.
Y’all do realize that people on the carnivore diet say the same thing?
I quit drinking, that was kinda tough
I quit tobacco, that was really tough
If I quit beef.... I’d probably eat my own hands.
I gotta draw the line somewhere.
@@Heavywall70 Thats a dumb line, quitting nicotine was a billion times harder than going vegan. Like literally your gut bacteria adjusts after some weeks and then you are completely over it. Meanwhile my nicotine addiction still nags at me years after quitting
Also if you really want that taste and texture, vegan meat has become pretty good by now, people cant even tell the difference. Easy af
So happy he is vegan❤️❤️❤️❤️ I loved him already, love him even more❤️🐄🌱
You are as funny as ever. I think I'll start watching one of your video's every morning just to start my day in a better mood.
His stutter makes it so much funnier. Way to make a weakness into a strength. Loved this!!!
I absolutely love this! He is the only comedian that makes me laugh so hard!!! We just gotta love him.🤣😂🤣
We raised a couple cows when I was in my teens. One of them would lick the electric fence. That was big Mac, whopper died from pneumonia 😢. Yeah, my dad named the animals so we wouldn't forget why they were being raised. Best beef I've ever eaten, had a good life, right up until butchering time.
Bottom line, so stupid liked licking the electric fence
i did the same thing with my uncle when we lived in china. raised a couple pomeranians, they grilled up real nice. it’s hard when you get attached to them but ya know it’s meat at the end of the day.
zoot boot i’m sorry- you raised a couple pomeranians?? like the little dogs?? i can’t tell if you’re joking or not
Zaidey S. Why, people eat cows and pigs, what makes dogs different tho?
lilasauce 1564 i can understand and respect the philosophical debate behind what makes dogs superior to other animals in terms of consumption (although i could argue that because we teamed up with wolves as hunting companions in the early times, they have therefore been risen above as our allies in the hunt instead of the hunted); but considering the majority of global sentiment, i think it’s pretty reasonable for me to be stunned that they’re so comfortably announcing that they eat dogs, even after they get attached. i’m not trying to be offensive and i apologize if it comes across that way, i’m simply answering your question.
Zaidey S. yes it’s our culture. if you eat animals like pigs and cows you have no room to judge
This made my day brighter, thank you
first video i've gotten a notif for since subscribing, and i regret nothing
Very funny! Although having heard a farmer say "THIS IS MY DREAM COW!!!" looking at a baby cow once, I'ma have to disagree with you on the cow obsession 😆😉
your humor is the only thing that is keeping me alive during quarantine :')
This has got to be one of the funniest bit I’ve seen from you Drew, good stuff.
Thanks, fam! Appreciate it.
I so love this. His studder makes the show real. Great job.
Amazing to see that you're vegan too. Thank you for being considerate of other animals.
Tofurky? Please don't swear at the dinner table.
And pass the fucken gravy.
I just love this guy! 😂 this was an amazing set 👏👏
Love this guy!!! One of the truly best comedians! Sure hope to see him live one day.
Vegan for the animals 🙋🏼♀️ I know some cows too... After all, we don't have any other friends. ;)
The comments must have gone vegan. They're gone early.
Then they come out.
Thanks Drew, needed a good laugh today!
❤️hang in there, Stacy!
You my friend are HILARIOUS!!! You always make me smile. Be safe and well. God Bless You!
no one: how drew thinks vegans are: i wAnNa loOk gOoD iN tHe cAsKet
I'm vegan!!
Plot twist
so yes, as drew confirmed, vegans can be like that
Drew Lynch OH- 😂I’m not vegan lol I have so many allergies so if I was vegan I would only be able to eat fruits and vegetables😂
Higashi-Chan yes lmaoo
I clicked so fast, it’s unhealthy.
He's a vegan...
U have a gift man. Proud to see your progress
Good stuff Drew. Thanks for the laughs. 😆
Very nice callback at the end of the bit, loved it
"Pigs are just as smart as dogs"
Drew: [Smart comeback with some science behind it]
Me:
"I'm flattered that you think I wouldn't eat a dog as well"
No views but 12 comments, ok?
ok!
You're my favorite comedian and I think you're really funny. Keep doing what you're doing :)
Thanks Chloe! 🤗 Appreciate you!
My husband and I always loved your channel and we always wanted to see a live show.
I don’t mind vegans. It’s only when they tell you things like “you shouldn’t eat that” or when they do stuff like take the meat away!
The worst is when they raise 5 cows in their apartment!
@@TheDrewLynch or have a bunch of animals. Like a dang SNAKE!!
A person that is art snakes are cute tho
@@D_Coe22 not when it bit your dad. My snake is aggressive now.
@@aperson.1316 Don't handle your snake after feeding it and wash your damn hands. If it bites you still, you're handling it wrong.
I’m what you call an “open minded vegan” I don’t discriminate against meat, unlike all those other unaccepting vegans smh
Currently eating chicken nuggets because I care
BRUH the read more section LMFAO
That's called a flexitarian. AKA; hypocrite
80 Slim Shady's Woooosh
@@asafupps i got the joke. I just dont find joking about animal cruelty funny
80 Slim Shady's It isn’t animal cruelty, it’s the circle of life. And it’s delicious
This was hilarious. Keep it up
I laughed so hard. This guy’s delivery was so good!
"I care about the animals" then why are they eating their food away? ^^
when you demand meat, a cow gets breed into existence and will require a lot of plants to grow, there for you are taking more plants away from the animals by eating meat
I'm vegan and generally a chilled person.
But I just thought there were bad points here😬. Maybe it's cause I take veganism seriously 🙈😂
Also vegan and drew was my fav comedian. I didnt like this one
@@Highsea yeah I just thought this wasn't very good
Totally agree. Didn't fint this funny at all. Thing is though that I would probably have found it funny before I was a vegan.
Drew you're the best!!! I love you!! I really wish I could come into one of your shows
This is one of the best skits where Drew's stutter plays into the gag so much it makes it better. to-fuky? Yeah, that's a different holiday. Classic, I lost it
Thanks for being vegan! But I couldn't stand the first part about "being it for the animals" and the generic joke "how do you know someone is vegan?". I don't get why it's funny? I didn't even understand it as an omni.
1. vegans are individuals just like any other person
2. In our society you still have to ask for vegan options or if something is vegan. If they don't want you to ask them write it in the menu or somewhere else
3. As an omni I would be happy if a vegan would show me the benefits of the lifestyle (not just diet)
4. Since I am vegan myself I recognize it more when people talk about animal products then I did before and that happened way more often when I think back. I always get a back look from them when they know I am vegan and immidietly try to explain themselves (being like a lion and so one) without me engaging in the conversation because of the guilty conscience ^^
Second part was great! Had some similar conversations with my grandma: "here try that". "No thank you. There's honey and yoghurt in it". "Yes but just a little bit. That doesn't hurt anyone" ^^
this
Some vegans are funny because they try to explain why you should only eat plants
Too soon, but plant lives matter.
Right?! We're the worst.
Wanna know the dumbest thing my vegan friend says? "Humans are actually herbivores" and lists bullshit reasons. It's just... Woah.
Immortal Cloud yea I don’t mind vegans It’s just when they shove it in your face that you should become vegan and try to force you but humans are naturally omnivores and science proves that
Dunno if you're joking but it's not why you should eat plants more so than why you shouldn't eat animal flesh and secretions.
0:47 had me DYING. I literally left my room and went out and told my family that one 😂😂😂
This was absolutely hilarious!! I was just talking about this and it popped up in my feed. I'm gonna share it with my Folks :)
I’m a vegetarian... damn throwing shade at the vegans.
I'm vegan!
Drew Lynch i was a vegan but decided to be a vegetarian,
@@TheDrewLynch same here. At 12. Not that hard. But I had to become vegan. Terrible story.
@@TheDrewLynch when did you switch to vegan?
aww so you’re like...a diet omnivore?
- Dad... I'm vegan.
- Honestly son... I would prefer if you were gay.
😅
its true tho, they feel very attacked by vegans. Imagine harming animals when the person next to you is thriving without any cruelty.
Drew’s comedy is so unique and it’s so funny
WE LOVE YOU DREW!!!!
40% vegans to brag
30% just on a diet
30% “animals”
what do they brag about
zoot boot being vegan
@@Corn22 my energy is higher, I sleep better
Hot characters Asmr also, why did you put animals in quotes LOL are they imaginary animals?
there are also some people who are vegan for environmental reasons
When my sister came out as vegan my dad set up a big barbecue the next day.
Well...
You can say the stopped being vegan very fast.
Same, I tried after taking care of a sick calf and watching the poor thing struggle to stay alive before he finally gave up and it just broke my heart. Knowing that that calf wanted to live but just wasn’t strong enough and then the bovine who do get to them just suddenly get their lives taken. They all just want to live and when I went home and told my family I wanted to try and be a vegan, they said alright and then made sure we had meat base meals for two weeks before I finally gave up and admitted I love meat too much. I still love the animals and everything and I don’t know if I could be the person to end an animals life myself.
@@kokovokofilbert6983 What you didnt realize is that your "love for meat" is only dictated by your meat favoring gut bacteria. It takes some weeks for them to die out and be replaced with all the veggie favoring bacteria and at that point you love veggies instead. Also idk why you wouldnt just try plant meat in the transitional phase. Also extremely shitty parents
Awesome as hell love your jokes keep up the good work Drew and God Bless
This was great! 👍😂
I'd like to clarify that veganism isn't a diet. It's an animal rights movement, if you don't care about the animals you're plant based not vegan. The ignorance in these comments are painful, and really Drew you're only spreading misinformation about veganism. Animal rights isn't a joke, what's happening in the animal industry isn't funny in the slightest.
You're part of the reason why people dislike vegans.
You’re right veganism isn’t a diet, it’s a cult. Get out while you still can!!!
You do realize there’s no way around it, right? ‘That something must die in order for you to live...Even if you’re trying to consume just plants, It’s estimated that billions of animals are killed each year (about 15 wild animals per hectare of farmland) in the pursuit of harvesting fruits and vegetables. It’s a god damn travesty, we don’t even get to eat those animals.
@@RetiredRobot You missed the fact that animals also die on wild land, so its not even making a difference. Billions of animals are gonna die, no matter if its farm or wild land. And farmland it will be, bc we need to eat and plants are the most efficient food source. But how about not causing 3 trillion needless deaths on top of that by breeding animals in factory farms? Like would make sense to avoid that, no?
I just realized you just called me the worst 😗✌🏼 and tbh I agree
And also I don’t say I do it for the animals I just do it because I think it tastes gross
I also dont eat humans bc it tastes gross. Not like there is anything wrong with Auschwitz
I had to just come read the comments on this one haha, Love your comedy!!
Dude your stutter is pretty much gone!! Youre amazing! Keep up the good work dude!!!
that would have to be the funniest clean stand up ive seen in a very long time......still laughing hahaha
Duuude these jokes are fire!
Ive been a fan of yours since AGT and damn bro you are going into the big leagues. You are one of my most favorite comedians alongside preacher lawson and Kevin hart. Great work mate keep it up!
been watching you since your agt audition always a great way to put a smile on my face on a crappy day. i love the mic problem vids could you do more blooper stuff like that i sure you have tons of just crazy shit. also say hi to stella.
Drew, we love you!
😁
This mans comedy is the best
Thanks for the laughs! 😂
Fun fact about me: Whenever I'm taking pictures of myself on my phone, I've started watching Drew's comedy show clips in the background, just so I can get a couple pictures with a genuine smile in them