Jack Whitehall Is NOT HAPPY With Vegans | Stand Up

Поделиться
HTML-код
  • Опубликовано: 22 июл 2020
  • Jack Whitehall is back with a new stand up comedy special on Netflix, and in it he has some very strong feelings on veganism. From the number of non-dairy milk alternatives to The Impossible Burger, Jack is a bit over it (to put it mildly).
    Check out Jack's new comedy special I'm Only Joking on Netflix right now.
    ➡️SUBSCRIBE FOR MORE: bit.ly/29kBByr
    About Netflix:
    Netflix is the world's leading streaming entertainment service with 183 million paid memberships in over 190 countries enjoying TV series, documentaries and feature films across a wide variety of genres and languages. Members can watch as much as they want, anytime, anywhere, on any internet-connected screen. Members can play, pause and resume watching, all without adverts or commitments.
    Find Netflix UK on:
    ➡️TWITTER: bit.ly/29lYvcs
    ➡️INSTAGRAM: bit.ly/29slD8O
    ➡️FACEBOOK: bit.ly/29mx00a
    Or visit the Netflix WEBSITE: nflx.it/29BcWb5
    Jack Whitehall Is NOT HAPPY With Vegans | Stand Up
    / netflixuk
    Jack Whitehall hits the stage with hilarious tales about happy couples, life in hotels, human stupidity and his well-traveled father.
  • РазвлеченияРазвлечения

Комментарии • 2,7 тыс.

  • @thecalamity278
    @thecalamity278 2 года назад +3097

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT"
    Dumbledore said calmly

    • @LilKitten9620
      @LilKitten9620 2 года назад +17

      Omg I heard that in my head 🤣🤣🤣

    • @rasmuspetervammenrsns3353
      @rasmuspetervammenrsns3353 2 года назад +7

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @EthanBuildz
      @EthanBuildz 2 года назад +8

      I like how I read that in Stephen frys voice

    • @callumhowgego14
      @callumhowgego14 Год назад +17

      HARRY DID YOU MILK THE GOBLET OF FIRE? Dumbledore asked calmly

    • @fnfaddict
      @fnfaddict Год назад +4

      im not happy with us either 💀💀 we figured out how to milk rice

  • @jpage813
    @jpage813 3 года назад +10179

    “She looked at me like I had requested it from hers” That killed me 🤣🤣🤣

  • @abbiecarter4578
    @abbiecarter4578 3 года назад +5396

    fun fact, in arizona plant-based milk can no longer legally be allowed "milk" because the farmers got mad, so we have a wide variety of "nut juices"

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 3 года назад +231

      First time I’m envious of America

    • @shutout951
      @shutout951 3 года назад +147

      @@chriscostanza8873 i give it about 20 minutes before the French milk farmers park their tractors on the highway and bring this to Europe.

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 3 года назад +43

      @@shutout951 french milk market is very different they have levels of pasteurisation to consider first.

    • @bossman8805
      @bossman8805 2 года назад +148

      imagine being such a snowflake you get upset by something being called milk 😂 that’s like saying oh you can no longer say chicken drumsticks cuz percussionists got mad

    • @chriscostanza8873
      @chriscostanza8873 2 года назад +3

      @@bossman8805 ironically milk substitutes actually have a much higher profit margin, shelf life and I’ve found people are actually willing to pay more for it for those snowflakes are fairly business savvy

  • @aricaine5024
    @aricaine5024 3 года назад +10516

    He would be the most wonderful actor for Shakespearean comedies.

  • @KDaisy_82
    @KDaisy_82 3 года назад +6165

    "We have enough milks. STOP MILKING SHIT!!!" I'm crying. He is absolutely one of my favorite comedians.

    • @imperallady
      @imperallady 3 года назад +35

      Stoooop milkiiing shiiit! I laugh like hell every time 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @lisa_san7037
      @lisa_san7037 2 года назад +9

      I can’t breathe 😂😂

    • @lordaurelius83
      @lordaurelius83 2 года назад +9

      If the video had captions I would've made it into a meme

    • @spinarch5482
      @spinarch5482 2 года назад +4

      This man complains in sope opera.

    • @thegreenrabbit2737
      @thegreenrabbit2737 2 года назад

      same tho

  • @HardDiff
    @HardDiff 3 года назад +6825

    “Your suffocating me~ no actually I’m making you oxygen negative” I shall use this quote in my life somewhere.

  • @marycanary86
    @marycanary86 3 года назад +4792

    "will everyone. stop. milKING. SHIT?!?!?!"
    i had to pause and cry-laugh

    • @edram4051
      @edram4051 3 года назад +15

      That makes two of us! 😂😂

    • @BadoodRust
      @BadoodRust 3 года назад +12

      Better than stealing milk from cows that produce it for their babies which are also stolen so that humans can consume it and not them

    • @sheilahanindra3316
      @sheilahanindra3316 3 года назад +4

      the MILKING part got me

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 3 года назад +22

      Vegans : We are the only species that drinks the milk from a different species
      Zookeeper that has spent his life feeding milk to every baby mammal ever: Uhh...Wot?

    • @mistermack4987
      @mistermack4987 3 года назад +9

      @@BadoodRust True because lions and sharks never seperate the weak and young from the herd for food

  • @jamesdick2580
    @jamesdick2580 3 года назад +3000

    the way he named off every single one of those different kinds of milks, i swear my mind nearly blew a gasket just trying to remember them all. i even slightly got cross-eyed.

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 3 года назад +5

      I know right 😂😂

    • @jamesdick2580
      @jamesdick2580 3 года назад +1

      @Jack Marsden yeah well, not all of us feel the compulsive need to keep track of every single knd of milk out there. many of us got better things to do with our time.

    • @sebastianfeeney5101
      @sebastianfeeney5101 3 года назад +2

      @@jamesdick2580 he changed his name to a girl wtf he’s exposed

    • @Sunnysidedie
      @Sunnysidedie 2 года назад +7

      And the dances when he did 🤣💀

    • @jamesdick2580
      @jamesdick2580 2 года назад

      @@sebastianfeeney5101 looks like he also deleted his comment, or his profile altogether.

  • @devolinedits4481
    @devolinedits4481 3 года назад +8416

    “We’ve got a coconut milk - We’ve got an almond nut milk - We’ve got a hazelnut milk - We’ve got a cashew nut milk - We’ve got a macadamia nut milk - We’ve got an oat milk - rice milk - hemp milk - soy milk - you can have it from a bean, from a _____ , from a nut, from a grain, from an oat, from a _____ , from a seed, from a tree”. SOUNDS LIKE DR. SEUSS FOR THE 21st CENTURY

    • @xakirax_8864
      @xakirax_8864 3 года назад +68

      It does!

    • @the_purple_kat
      @the_purple_kat 3 года назад +105

      I think the two blanks are pulp (or pulse?) and wheat.

    • @thecassman
      @thecassman 3 года назад +167

      The blanks are 'pulse' and 'flax'

    • @gablison
      @gablison 3 года назад +47

      I thought it was pulse and leaf

    • @jimmyjab190
      @jimmyjab190 3 года назад +27

      @Ruach Van der Merwe cow milk tastes good, everything else doesn't

  • @racheljones2328
    @racheljones2328 3 года назад +7406

    Just gotta say, that shirt makes his blue eyes POP!

    • @user-jo3go8fe3g
      @user-jo3go8fe3g 3 года назад +128

      He knows it

    • @kingjamestres
      @kingjamestres 3 года назад +60

      The fact that I only noticed now that his eyes are blue makes me disagree lol

    • @faithfulforever6331
      @faithfulforever6331 3 года назад +16

      He may be wearing blue contacts that make his already blue eyes stand out even more.

    • @sarahtoner6914
      @sarahtoner6914 3 года назад +19

      Hes a beaut 😍

    • @Thesleepypoet
      @Thesleepypoet 3 года назад +17

      It's the stage lighting too

  • @richardxia1720
    @richardxia1720 2 года назад +345

    “You are suffocating me!”
    “Just making you oxygen-negative”
    💀💀💀

  • @totome9039
    @totome9039 3 года назад +1715

    I love the british humour. Some people find it dry but i find it hilarious. I love how they can be snappy too.

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 3 года назад +19

      I know right? Trying to explain it to anyone just nigh impossible, it just is funny!!

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx 3 года назад +13

      It's brilliant! One of the reasons why I moved here. Some people don't get it thou. From which part of the world are you from if I may? 🙂

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 3 года назад +11

      @@AnnaPxx I am from Yorkshire in England (so a northerner if you're game of thrones fan!) I've been raised on British humour so I understand it haha 😁😁 What about you, my friend?

    • @AnnaPxx
      @AnnaPxx 3 года назад +4

      @@sarahbrightmore3749 thanks for replying! I live in Yorkshire too 🙂👍🏼, I'm Italian originally 🇮🇹 🇬🇧

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 3 года назад +1

      @@AnnaPxx No worries always nice to chat, which part of Yorkshire? Wow always wanted to see Italy

  • @harmonyqueue
    @harmonyqueue 3 года назад +3992

    Jack: You are drinking _nut_ juice.
    Gays in the audience: I don't... get...

    • @stephss
      @stephss 3 года назад +48

      Right...only gay people with testicals ...

    • @frogsy1464
      @frogsy1464 3 года назад +16

      Steph Ss shhhh

    • @bjn_bikes9015
      @bjn_bikes9015 3 года назад +4

      Your not wrong

    • @thekrrib
      @thekrrib 3 года назад +26

      Yup ... I've got no problem drinking nut juice 😉 ... Oh, I'm a chick ... and a Vegan 😆 Best Vegan bashing comedy I've ever heard.

    • @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500
      @cacadordeliberalprogressis1500 3 года назад +2

      ha, thats gayyyy

  • @danniep2737
    @danniep2737 3 года назад +374

    Literally whenever I have cereal now, I'm like "Gotta pour my dirty _titty_ milk"

    • @janewhite9398
      @janewhite9398 Год назад

      You think that's funny sad little person oh sorry your a cow because you obviously are you drink her milk made for her baby 🍼

    • @PapaLobo94
      @PapaLobo94 5 месяцев назад +3

      Well played, good sir 👏🏻👏🏻😂😂

  • @Dayday-6297
    @Dayday-6297 3 года назад +760

    4:35
    "You drove here in a fucking hummer"
    Bruh I was drinking the milk from my cereal and it came out my nose XD

    • @hussainbedair7676
      @hussainbedair7676 3 года назад +16

      But was it disgusting titty milk?

    • @Dayday-6297
      @Dayday-6297 3 года назад +20

      @@hussainbedair7676 Yes, yes it was titty milk

    • @richyyLR
      @richyyLR 2 года назад +4

      Sure it did

    • @aesthetichousehold3319
      @aesthetichousehold3319 2 года назад

      @@Dayday-6297 DISGUSTING *WAVES A CROSS IN YOUR A FACE* /j

    • @phoenix0166
      @phoenix0166 2 года назад +25

      Wait the cereal or the milk? Also what kind? Was it from a tree? A seed? A nut? A flower? A family SUV? A brick? A goddamn cell tower because we’re that kind of people?

  • @spinarch5482
    @spinarch5482 2 года назад +183

    "Last I checked, almonds are pretty flat chested"
    "You are drinking NUT JUICE!!"

  • @acutierolls
    @acutierolls 3 года назад +2556

    Jack's got the posh vegan jokes done and Daniel sloss has the middle class vegans sorted

    • @xpledgeturnprestigex
      @xpledgeturnprestigex 3 года назад +18

      Posh and middle class are generally the same thing, aren't they? Most middle class people I know are also pretty posh haha

    • @janimates2204
      @janimates2204 3 года назад +62

      Emily Stark the difference is that middle class thinks they’re posh

    • @yellowcrocs9000
      @yellowcrocs9000 3 года назад +22

      Emily Stark think it depends on the area you live in cuz most middle class ppl ik aren’t posh at all lol

    • @AMPFEAST
      @AMPFEAST 3 года назад +14

      I dont know if one can really talk about "sorted" and "done" considering how lame the jokes are and how they will probably wont even phase most vegans except maybe for their misinforming character

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 3 года назад +26

      @@AMPFEAST who hurt you boo?

  • @lexietaylor9722
    @lexietaylor9722 3 года назад +1924

    The best part is, he’s making fun of all types of milk drinkers. This was so funny.

    • @talyah23
      @talyah23 3 года назад +61

      No he isn't...he's making fun of vegans while being proud of drinking raped cow milk meant for calves and not humans.

    • @kikidee6741
      @kikidee6741 3 года назад +51

      @@talyah23 Raped💀 Now we're raping the cows huh....what in the world

    • @lifeoftennis1285
      @lifeoftennis1285 3 года назад +26

      @@kikidee6741 Submit/force a puppy into a cage/rack so she can’t escape and then shove your fist and a rod up her private parts... and it’s rape
      Do it to a cow though... and tHeRe’S nO IsSuE

    • @NYD666
      @NYD666 3 года назад +37

      @@lifeoftennis1285 well, tastes great

    • @yaamir7201
      @yaamir7201 3 года назад +11

      @@lifeoftennis1285 Spitting fax

  • @davidamado3651
    @davidamado3651 3 года назад +257

    And quoting Taylor Swift: “Oh damn, never seen that color blue”... his eyes are gorgeous

  • @lunarcreepypasta6937
    @lunarcreepypasta6937 3 года назад +890

    My lactose intolerant butt: "Lol yeah too many milks" *Chugs half gallon of milk* "Imma regret this later but that's a problem for future me"

    • @mayimwater3858
      @mayimwater3858 3 года назад +61

      "Would you please refrain from entering the hotel swimming pool if you have active diarrhea"

    • @lunarcreepypasta6937
      @lunarcreepypasta6937 3 года назад +7

      @@mayimwater3858 😂😂 of course Distinguished Host!

    • @curse4384
      @curse4384 2 года назад +5

      “And u don’t give a damn about that guy”

    • @leviroch
      @leviroch 2 года назад +18

      You can always tell if someone's a real lactose intolerant person coz they'll just roll the dice when it comes to cheese. . . Bust out the triple cream brie and crackers and they'll just buy an extra roll of shit tickets and pre-book the loo :D

    • @cvgurau
      @cvgurau 2 года назад +4

      if i ever met past me that guy’s catchin hands

  • @oliviascott2995
    @oliviascott2995 3 года назад +923

    *makes joke about tofu*
    camera: *pans to Asian man*

  • @liriquack
    @liriquack 3 года назад +1679

    Those pretty eyes...

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 3 года назад +10

      I never noticed them before.
      Are they contacts?

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack 3 года назад +9

      @@TCt83067695 I don't know, this is pretty much the first time I've seen him

    • @TCt83067695
      @TCt83067695 3 года назад +12

      @@liriquack I just watch another clip and he made a joke about wearing contacts and sleeping with his eyes open on a plane.
      So yeah these must be contacts lol.
      Awesome detective work if I do say so myself lol

    • @liriquack
      @liriquack 3 года назад +2

      @@TCt83067695 yeah that makes sense!

    • @AmWhoCares
      @AmWhoCares 3 года назад +12

      ​ @TCt83067695 I had never noticed his eyes before this clip, Googled him and on all the pictures I've seen he always had blue eyes... Guess his polo shirt really brings them out

  • @Prisna
    @Prisna Год назад +25

    "Nope, just making you Oxygen Negative."
    Is the sickest one-liner i've ever heard.

  • @NightRainPanda
    @NightRainPanda 3 года назад +401

    He manages to diss vegans in the least offensive way possible, where even the vegans are kinda like, *yeahhh*

    •  Год назад +2

      You haven't met many vegans…

    • @NightRainPanda
      @NightRainPanda Год назад +6

      @ Yes I have. Most of them, pretty chill with this sort of humor.

  • @noodsoof541
    @noodsoof541 3 года назад +686

    “Nope, just making you oxygen negative”

  • @hiroki_rinn
    @hiroki_rinn 3 года назад +201

    My brother-in-law said “nut juice” while we had a similar “too many milk options” conversation the other night and my RUclips listened and recommended this video. 🤣

  • @AlexB-mu8ox
    @AlexB-mu8ox 3 года назад +654

    Having been plant positive for nearly a decade I’ve seen too many comedians’ vegan skits just be downright offensive... this was excellent and the man has not an ounce of malice.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 года назад +20

      You think? I have a minor problem with all these comedians, being extremely liberal about everything, but when it comes to vegans, they become very... in lack of a better word: racist.
      And I have a problem with comedians providing comedic relief for mass rape and mass murder...

    • @Tcrumpen
      @Tcrumpen 3 года назад +93

      @@Zett76 its not that they are making jokes about vegan as a dietary choice. Its the attitude of the people they are making jokes about

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 года назад +12

      @@Tcrumpen you mean like "you are killing animals, for no vital reason"?
      (which is just fact)
      That "attitude"? 😁
      (and more often than not, even "I'm vegan" is enough to trigger and/or offend people... 😂)
      Don't call your reactions our mistakes. 😉

    • @pig9412
      @pig9412 3 года назад +18

      @@Zett76 Wow, you literally proved his point. 🤡 Well, lets mark you off as another stereotype and have the rest of us move on with our lives.

    • @Zett76
      @Zett76 3 года назад +1

      @@Tcrumpen what about the "comedic relief for mass murder" don't you understand? 😁
      I mean, I get it. As everyone tries to believe to be one of the "good" ones, you have to ignore that part...

  • @maggiem6209
    @maggiem6209 3 года назад +131

    I don't think I've ever had to pause a comedy vid to literally cry laughing. 😂😂😂

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 3 года назад +1

      and you paused this!??? blimey.. you need to watch some actual comedy

    • @maggiem6209
      @maggiem6209 3 года назад

      @@bazza5699 Not usually a comedy fan, myself. I tend to be frustrated by it more often than not but I find one every so often that makes me laugh.

    • @bazza5699
      @bazza5699 3 года назад

      @@maggiem6209 look up Stewart Lee... and his stand up regarding observational comedy...

  • @Ali-lh1st
    @Ali-lh1st 3 года назад +217

    He just called a condom a bag for life😂😂

    • @sonnyrynsaard3567
      @sonnyrynsaard3567 3 года назад +17

      It's more a bag *of* life

    • @kangaroo7525
      @kangaroo7525 3 года назад

      @someone in the world I think they did... Sperm creases life.

  • @Milfuelle100
    @Milfuelle100 3 года назад +1167

    Me: *laughs*
    Also me: *hasn't had dairy milk in 3 years*

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 3 года назад +31

      Ten years for me, yet I was laughing on floor!

    • @simransimran9339
      @simransimran9339 3 года назад +4

      You mean the chocolate or regular milk?

    • @gamleskalle1
      @gamleskalle1 3 года назад +1

      4 years

    • @roxie6519
      @roxie6519 3 года назад +10

      @@simransimran9339 Either. I am both allergic and lactose intolerant.

    • @kogbechie123
      @kogbechie123 3 года назад +2

      4 years for me too!

  • @notfunny6606
    @notfunny6606 Год назад +17

    The way he said "milking sh*t" was executed perfectly

  • @hanikazuha
    @hanikazuha 2 года назад +47

    "I'd like it from a nipple please..."
    Can't get enough of this after repeating it over and over again

  • @SketchyVal
    @SketchyVal 3 года назад +82

    "Would everyone...stop...MILKING SHIT?!" has become part of my household's daily vernacular.

  • @classifiedx8861
    @classifiedx8861 Год назад +48

    “Your suffocating me”
    “Nope, I’m just making you oxygen negative”
    -Jack

  • @eyela3236
    @eyela3236 2 года назад +68

    the delivery in this bit is iconic -- he really got the absolute best out of a good concept

  • @lucasvrochopulos7327
    @lucasvrochopulos7327 3 года назад +274

    This is completly off topic. But his eyes are so blue!

    • @sarahbrightmore3749
      @sarahbrightmore3749 3 года назад +3

      They are, aren't they? 😍

    • @papagrounds
      @papagrounds 3 года назад +4

      It's the magic of the same colored shirt.

    • @sahibathind5373
      @sahibathind5373 3 года назад +3

      Sexy aren't they 😜

    • @lucasvrochopulos7327
      @lucasvrochopulos7327 3 года назад +1

      @@sahibathind5373 i mean i do have some kinda crush on this man, so i guess we could call them that 😆

    • @davidransom643
      @davidransom643 3 года назад

      That’s pretty much on topic because it’s his looks if anything that have made him successful

  • @Pumpkin0_0
    @Pumpkin0_0 3 года назад +389

    How can he look like a kid and an adult at the same time?

    • @kerryann9851
      @kerryann9851 3 года назад +10

      Have you heard of John Mulaney? 😂

    • @Pumpkin0_0
      @Pumpkin0_0 3 года назад +6

      @@kerryann9851 Of course, but John Mulaney only looks a bit like a kid and an adult at the same time these days, while this guy takes things to a new level. John Mulaney's combination is more like an older teenager and a 30 year-old. lol

  • @rsswd
    @rsswd 3 года назад +244

    He's turned into his father.

  • @akiraamamiya4966
    @akiraamamiya4966 2 года назад +21

    The way he said "would everyone stop MILKING SHIT" just killed me

  • @SavingwithSaadi
    @SavingwithSaadi Год назад +17

    I've seen this special four times, and I always burst out laughing at "Would everyone....stop....MILKING SHIT!!"

  • @houdasalhi3076
    @houdasalhi3076 3 года назад +337

    Not a dairy drinker but actually dead this is hilarious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @treble2994
    @treble2994 2 года назад +28

    Whitehall's stand up has really improved. He used to be majorly repetitive, but now he uses word play and has grown into himself beautifully!

  • @annejie
    @annejie 3 года назад +993

    This is hilarious! But all those milks are a rescue team for allergic people, really. As a mom of an allergic kid I hope all these do not vanish from the counter.

    • @authorofone
      @authorofone 3 года назад +32

      So pea milk is a rescue? How? I get having a lactose intolerance, but you don’t need 4000 variations

    • @annejie
      @annejie 3 года назад +137

      @@authorofone There are different types of allergies, there are multiple allergies, and each of them would require a different replacement.

    • @annejie
      @annejie 3 года назад +47

      @@Gorgomosh it is the way nature tells us that we are wasting and polluting it. And also that we eat and breathe shit that we've created ourselves.

    • @gwenthielman932
      @gwenthielman932 3 года назад +109

      Gorgomosh please don‘t be so rude. Imagine having a nut allergy and someone else is lactose intollerant. Soy milk is the answer. My niece for example is allergic to quite a lot of things and the only milk she got to drink in the past was butter milk and she didn‘t like it at all. All these options have been a blessing for her because sometimes your allowed to have a thing, but it might not taste good to you. Jack was laughing with it but i also don‘t think he intends for people to be mean about it towards others

    • @francomuscellini1744
      @francomuscellini1744 3 года назад +6

      @@scottdelinger1 and if you drink it you get send to the bad place

  • @SS-uo3uf
    @SS-uo3uf 3 года назад +46

    I like how the segment ended, he pleased both the sides 😂

  • @MarkWhiley
    @MarkWhiley 3 года назад +530

    I only drink vegan milk but laughed out loud. Honestly, they could cut it down to Oat Milk only and be done with it. The rest either taste a bit crap in coffee and for breakfast or require a lot of water to produce. Oat is also good for most intolerances and if made from gluten free oats then you solve that as well. Bonanza.

    • @Milfuelle100
      @Milfuelle100 3 года назад +20

      I much prefer almond milk

    • @mooonedropper
      @mooonedropper 3 года назад +5

      You sir are a waste of space

    • @nyams8
      @nyams8 3 года назад +10

      Oat milk is the besssst!!!

    • @TG-xp5zw
      @TG-xp5zw 3 года назад +32

      I'm vegan and think most of them taste odd or bitter. I always recommend oat milk to anyone looking for dairy free options.

    • @HerbOlTea
      @HerbOlTea 3 года назад +32

      Hm I think soy milk is the best but oat milk is ok too. I don't get the problem with having choices though.

  • @miklosmorandini8211
    @miklosmorandini8211 3 года назад +255

    I mean... the word for plant positive is "herbivore"...

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 3 года назад

      You mean.

    • @saoirse7167
      @saoirse7167 3 года назад +1

      Is there something wrong with ‘herbivore’?

    • @willowweedsYT
      @willowweedsYT 3 года назад +21

      Miklós Morandini Funny, but wrong, a herbivore can’t actually biologically process meat, someone who is plant positive sounds more like they’ve contracted a rare illness where leaves grow out of their ears.

    • @jamesmcinnis208
      @jamesmcinnis208 3 года назад +2

      @@willowweedsYT "actually"

    • @r0bw00d
      @r0bw00d 3 года назад +2

      @@willowweedsYT Or cauliflower.

  • @darlenehoward2340
    @darlenehoward2340 2 года назад +24

    I'm American & this gentleman popped up on my feed today out of the blue, so I watched several of his videos. He's hilarious!! This particular bit about vegans had me laughing so much that I had to keep stopping the video so I didn't miss anything. I live in a very rural, meat & potatoes area, so I really appreciate this bit of humor.

    • @helenchelmicka3028
      @helenchelmicka3028 Год назад +1

      Def check out his American vs British clip 🤣🤣🤣

  • @aperson9641
    @aperson9641 2 года назад +17

    He sounds like the perfect Victorian era villain, and I love it

  • @professormcnasty800
    @professormcnasty800 3 года назад +128

    I DIED AT OXYGEN NEGATIVE I CANT

  • @Ihavenohandle665
    @Ihavenohandle665 Год назад +8

    Love how he genuinely looks like he’s in pain talking about this issue

  • @severinalarie
    @severinalarie 3 года назад +1033

    Jack: I come from a very rough part of London called Notting Hill
    Me, an American with no clue what Notting Hill is: *snort laughs*
    Edit: I understand it’s a joke and I understand WHY it’s a joke. My COMMENT was a joke. Please stop telling me what Notting Hill is. Thank you.

    • @randomgachaboi2234
      @randomgachaboi2234 3 года назад +15

      I can relate

    • @esobelisk3110
      @esobelisk3110 3 года назад +119

      I’ve never heard of Notting Hill before, but the name is so aggressively posh, I just thought of it as 'whatever the Scottish think the English are'.

    • @ivylasangrienta6093
      @ivylasangrienta6093 3 года назад +8

      You should watch the movie.

    • @DevyaniMulik
      @DevyaniMulik 3 года назад +2

      @@ivylasangrienta6093 lmao, yes

    • @gabrielle916
      @gabrielle916 3 года назад +5

      I think of the movie Notting Hill.

  • @nabilahstephens3983
    @nabilahstephens3983 3 года назад +80

    As someone who is allergic to almonds and soy, intolerant to coconut, can't have cashews on large amounts. That's why there so many milk types. I live off rice milk but my favourite is macadamia as it's so thick and delicious, better than actual milk in my opinion. Sucks I'm dairy intolerant since I love cheese so much 😭

    • @lt.branwulfram4794
      @lt.branwulfram4794 3 года назад +2

      That’ll be something to remember for the person inviting you over. It’s what Ronny Chieng ruthlessly, unapologetically and without a shred of remorse, refers to as a “genetic failure”. I personally disagree with this statement myself , but for reference, that stand up is also on Netflix.

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam 3 года назад +1

      I never realized coconut intolerance was a thing until I realized I had it recently.

    • @nabilahstephens3983
      @nabilahstephens3983 3 года назад +1

      @@BeefySpam I know, it's in so many products too, thankfully I can handle small amounts but buying stuff can be so hard. Especially ice-cream and beauty products 😬

    • @BeefySpam
      @BeefySpam 3 года назад

      @@nabilahstephens3983 Exactly!

    • @fredrikmudas
      @fredrikmudas 3 года назад +1

      You love cheese until you farts 😂

  • @CurlyAndNerdy101
    @CurlyAndNerdy101 3 года назад +326

    He is so handsome, but I desperately wish he would straighten his shoulders. USE that height to your advantage.

    • @valerieblackwood9777
      @valerieblackwood9777 3 года назад +9

      It’s part of his persona. I reckon he does it on purpose

    • @Lipanj92
      @Lipanj92 2 года назад +1

      I agree, he should be more Chad-like with that gorgeous face and height.
      Also, American accent from the East Cost would make him more masculine.

    • @Lipanj92
      @Lipanj92 2 года назад +1

      @@valerieblackwood9777 Doesn't do 'im any good.

  • @wafalakhchine7044
    @wafalakhchine7044 3 года назад +11

    " hot or ...cold " I couldn't breathe for a hall minute 😂😂😂😂

  • @henrikkjuus90
    @henrikkjuus90 3 года назад +39

    That shirt really brings out his eyes. Also, I have never seen anything so blue in my entire life

  • @ara4271
    @ara4271 3 года назад +76

    Friend: You’re suffocating me
    Jack: Nope! Just making you oxygen-negative HAHAHAHAH I DIEDDD

    • @lubna4394
      @lubna4394 2 года назад

      So did his friend

  • @warriorbard
    @warriorbard 3 года назад +205

    Lol, as someone who is lactose intolerant, I would still agree that there are now way too many alternative milk options. I honestly didn't even know you could make milk out of some of these ingredients. I just get normal lactose free cow's milk because I have tried some of these rice and oat and hemp milks and if that's what I have to look forward to then I'd rather never drink milk again.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 3 года назад +20

      OK good for you. There are people allergic to soy, nuts and literally loads of other allergies so it's nice to have variety. I appreciate the humor but those alternatives are also more for vegans too. Plus I have a milk allergy so even lacto free milk made me ill, which confused me till I realised it wasn't just lactose I can't have, it's milk from cows. To get lactose out they boil it the milk, but if you're vegan this is pointless. Personally oatly oat milk is my milk of choice. This show is obviously for humour purposes, imagine agreeing with it. 🙄

    • @warriorbard
      @warriorbard 3 года назад +19

      @@mariakhan7986 Ain't nothing wrong with agreeing to statements even if it is for humor purposes, Maria. Everyone is allowed their opinion. It's great that there are substitutes out there that cater to people's allergies and dietary requirements. What's not great is when they try to force these substitutes on you and then condemn you for just wanting the original stuff.

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 3 года назад +4

      @@warriorbard I am not that kind of person. I do, however, object to the concept of too many substitutes. Believe what you want, but like you said, I have a right to disagree.

    • @rachelfox8108
      @rachelfox8108 3 года назад +1

      @@mariakhan7986 I didn't think they took out the lactose by boiling it -- I thought they added the lactase enzyme to it (at least, that's what my cartons of lactose-free milk say).

    • @mariakhan7986
      @mariakhan7986 3 года назад

      @@rachelfox8108 that's what the back of the ones I buy say so maybe different brands have different techniques but anyway it's still milk at the end of the day.

  • @xwedfgh
    @xwedfgh 2 года назад +27

    Being a lactose intolerant myself, society definitely needs to lay off the nut juice.

  • @hendelcyp
    @hendelcyp 3 года назад +19

    *"it's a bag for life"*
    ahahaha the double meaning thoo

  • @austindolan7182
    @austindolan7182 3 года назад +251

    he sounds like if stewie griffin did stand up.

    • @lowdives7406
      @lowdives7406 3 года назад +3

      wtf his voice is anything but

    • @sirduckington5435
      @sirduckington5435 3 года назад +8

      Idk you drove here in a fuckimg hummer sounded pretty close

    • @dottie1966
      @dottie1966 3 года назад +1

      Yes! came here to say this!

    • @peachylady
      @peachylady 3 года назад

      No.

  • @infires2013
    @infires2013 3 года назад +49

    Jack: "hail of tofu!"
    Cameraman: *cuts to some Asian people*
    Utter coincidence 😂😂

  • @user-kh9sm2dw1l
    @user-kh9sm2dw1l 3 года назад +60

    I don't even drink "regular" milk anymore and this was funny as hell😂

  • @thebonk_
    @thebonk_ 2 года назад +7

    yeah, coming from someone with lactose intolerance:
    we usually just order lactose-free milk unless we have other diet shit. it’s just milk with the lactase enzyme that dissolves the lactose.

  • @jays9869
    @jays9869 2 года назад +11

    This man is so whimsical, what a joy.

  • @Hotdog-nr3kr
    @Hotdog-nr3kr 3 года назад +510

    Hey man, I’m just trying to save the world

  • @tiffiguevara2926
    @tiffiguevara2926 3 года назад +40

    His voice is soooo mature nowww. But his wits is still great. Love you Jack! We mias you and Michael and winston :D

  • @sarahmack2598
    @sarahmack2598 2 года назад +5

    🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣"nope just making you oxygen negative" had me on the floor🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  • @Ballin4Vengeance
    @Ballin4Vengeance 2 года назад +10

    “Stop MILKING SHIT!”
    Thus spake he, and the people laughed and cheered, for in their bellowing they understood not of his wisdom.

  • @kristenblount8422
    @kristenblount8422 3 года назад +57

    The first time I used a reusable (metal) straw, I chipped my tooth. I switched to silicone straws but I still fear they might attack too.

    • @Drexxaal
      @Drexxaal 3 года назад +1

      Sorry! But also so 😝😜funny!

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea 3 года назад +1

      You're not supposed to try to eat them!

  • @mp_1231
    @mp_1231 2 года назад +18

    As a vegan, I love this set. Hes not punching down and hes funny. Big fan.

    • @PauLtus_B
      @PauLtus_B Год назад +1

      Pretty crazy how much he walks the line.
      It's more about his own self-pettiness. Which is probably the best way.

    • @JW-vd4il
      @JW-vd4il 8 месяцев назад

      oh wow, a vegan with a sense of humor?! you are a unicorn!
      but seriously, I personally know some nice vegans but I'm sure you know a lot are ruining it for the rest of you.
      💞 Enjoyed your comment!

  • @infinitevirus4826
    @infinitevirus4826 3 года назад +143

    You are drinking *N U T J U I C E*

  • @keti6437
    @keti6437 2 года назад +5

    "We currently don't have a cure for cancer and there are twelve milk substitutes" LMAOOO THIS KILLED MEEE

    • @Chepperz
      @Chepperz 2 года назад

      Ironic considering the milk he's asking for contributes to several types of cancer 😂😂😂

  • @HBoyle
    @HBoyle 3 года назад +45

    Me: vegan of four years laughs ass off 🤣

  • @Wayfaringwolf
    @Wayfaringwolf 3 года назад +16

    Sucking from the teat of another species doesn't make you a weirdo? That's news to me.

  • @girlbutter4760
    @girlbutter4760 3 года назад +5

    The way he said "You´re the weirdos not me" killed me

    • @toni4729
      @toni4729 Год назад

      Agree whole heartedlee.

  • @tisen.
    @tisen. 2 года назад +5

    "you're suffocating me"
    "no, just making you oxygen-negative" i can't 💀

  • @Schuyyyy
    @Schuyyyy 3 года назад +69

    Most of the coffee and milk tea places where I live only have cow's milk but I'm a bit lactose intolerant 😂

    • @larsvegas1505
      @larsvegas1505 3 года назад +1

      wait so u farted 1 time after drinking a glass of milk.. amazing!

    • @rkah6187
      @rkah6187 3 года назад

      I think there's lactose free cow's milk by now, isn't there?

    • @victoriansteam1562
      @victoriansteam1562 3 года назад +5

      @@larsvegas1505 well i get diarrhea like crazy so I'd advise taking intolerances seriously

    • @Wustenfuchs109
      @Wustenfuchs109 3 года назад +2

      @@larsvegas1505 It means that body can't process the ingredients of milk and AT BEST people feel bad and bloated after drinking it. Farts, while common in that situation, are the least of the problems. Also, it is NOT normal for grown mammals to drink milk - in humans it is actually a result of a freak mutation in the "old world" region that allowed some humans to keep drinking milk when they grow up.
      So making fun of people who are actually a world's majority and quite frankly in tune with the rest of the evolutionary tree, is not really a smart thing to do.
      Me myself? LOVE milk! Used to drink it as soon as it was milked, still warm. Half of my meals had milk or some dairy product included. But as I grew older, it started to make me feel bad, more and more. Now, I avoid it for simply not wanting to physically feel bad after a meal. Do I still LOVE it? Damn right I do. But I still avoid it.

    • @MsOgr1
      @MsOgr1 3 года назад

      Just drink it black. It doesn’t need milk.

  • @Marie-ss9so
    @Marie-ss9so 2 года назад +4

    "YOUR DRINKING NUT JUICE!"says jack whitehall (i died of laughing from this stand up comedy)

  • @xanderking3971
    @xanderking3971 2 года назад +1

    I have just found this guy and the way he just continuously goes crazy on stage is the funniest thing ever.

  • @aspennnnnn11235
    @aspennnnnn11235 Год назад +2

    The little move he made when saying "macadamia nut milk" killed me

  • @RebeckaSarkozy
    @RebeckaSarkozy 3 года назад +51

    Hanging out with his dad Michael has brought out the posh in him.

    • @orchardlea
      @orchardlea 3 года назад

      Having spent his life at prep and public schools probably brought our the posh in him when he was little 🤨

  • @idek2973
    @idek2973 3 года назад +27

    Basically Jack and John Mulaney are the same person 😂😂jk I love them both

    • @nonsensycal1900
      @nonsensycal1900 3 года назад +3

      Jack's from modern day, John Mulaney is from the 40's... That's the only difference

  • @Allindriss
    @Allindriss Год назад +3

    OmG Jack is that one guy who always tells some story from his life and you and your friends love to listen because he can describe it in such a funny way

  • @specificdaughter
    @specificdaughter 3 года назад +1

    0:30
    Just, the way he pulls the mic back. It's so calculated and that just makes it even more hilarious to me.

  • @Th4t_guy_
    @Th4t_guy_ Год назад +6

    "MILKING SHIT" needs to be a text notification lol

  • @1Dreamking
    @1Dreamking 3 года назад +10

    Amazing! So many LOL's in a really short time is rare. :)

  • @barbara9315
    @barbara9315 3 года назад +42

    “You are drinking nut juice!”

  • @lisachristoph437
    @lisachristoph437 Год назад

    Thank you, this was my morning chuckle.

  • @MarciCaroline83
    @MarciCaroline83 3 года назад +16

    LMAO! I watched the whole stand-up last night! Hi-lar-i-ous! xD No one couldn't say it better!

  • @girlperson5946
    @girlperson5946 3 года назад +76

    🤣🤣🤣 Although cycling to work is not about being a better. It's because I am a cheap af and there is always some dirty c#@& on public transport whose mission is to infect the rest of us.

    • @PercivalBlakeney
      @PercivalBlakeney 3 года назад +4

      Oh not just me then.
      😁

    • @jamie1602
      @jamie1602 Год назад

      There are people who try to do that and it's infuriating. Like, Kyle. Shut up. People are poor. I don't care that it's leg day. Most of us are poor.

  • @minus4425
    @minus4425 2 года назад +1

    *You're the ones milking f**cking cashew nuts* killed me

  • @kresensiawidya759
    @kresensiawidya759 2 года назад +10

    Just love how he exploded energy everytime he's on stage 😂 the only reason why I drink other milk than cow's is just because I'm curious. I'd still choose cow's milk any day

  • @missblondiee22
    @missblondiee22 3 года назад +344

    Okay but like, not only am I lactose intolerant, but I'm also allergic to almonds and soy, so I'm down three milk options, Jack! Yes this is a joke and I think its funny but it actually is nice to have a wide variety of options lol

    • @diananeuman6222
      @diananeuman6222 3 года назад +3

      lactase pills solve your problems. I dont leave home without them. I hear what you're saying, though. I work in schools (when we have them again!) So nut "milks" are not an option, plus, i hate them.

    • @walkerassasin277
      @walkerassasin277 3 года назад

      Pea milk

    • @missblondiee22
      @missblondiee22 3 года назад +17

      @@diananeuman6222 I'm allergic to those too lol

    • @Yakarash
      @Yakarash 3 года назад +13

      At least it is a relatively harmless issue to laugh about. It is a personal choice for most (unlike gender, skin color etc)
      Though I don't get why everyone gets so defensive about veganism. It's not that different than being passionate about bacon, or whatever kind of food you prefer.
      I never have to bring it up, because everybody talks about it constantly. I don't like the taste of meat. I force myself to eat it now and then because it's difficult to get plant based food at Restaurants and most people don't know how to prepare a vegan meal that tastes edible.
      It must suck for those who genuinely can't eat most foods because of health reasons.

    • @fridayschild722
      @fridayschild722 3 года назад +3

      Until I was in my mid 20s when I moved out of india, I’d never heard of lactose intolerance. If I were , I Guess I would have just died,lol. In india the milk is a mix of cows and buffalo milk, which is thicker and and creamier compared to cows milk. Most of the dishes have ghee in them and almost all sweets have milk in them. But in recent years I’ve met a lot of people (non Indians) who are lactose intolerant, could it be because of our dietary lifestyle now?

  • @chuckysmom4142
    @chuckysmom4142 3 года назад +94

    Lactose intolerant here. I like oatmilk at the moment. This is hilarious though!

    • @CyclingUrchin
      @CyclingUrchin 3 года назад

      Same I laugh so hard at this but I drink oat milk and almond milk only

    • @JediWebSurf
      @JediWebSurf 2 года назад

      You mean Nut juice of the oat variety.

  • @arty04
    @arty04 2 года назад +1

    First time watching this guy and I cannot get enough!!!

  • @christinamagee7093
    @christinamagee7093 3 года назад +5

    He’s hilarious and divine! Those eyes man whew, it’s getting warm over here lol

  • @jietroraximoff2805
    @jietroraximoff2805 3 года назад +7

    At first, I thought milk was meant to be some sort of subtle word for something else. Then I realised he meant actual milk. And thought "You've got a good point there Jack!"😄👏

  • @CoRLex-jh5vx
    @CoRLex-jh5vx 3 года назад +7

    I enjoy that "dairy drinker" doesn't just mean people who drink milk. People could be drinking liquid cheese or melted butter and you wouldn't know.

  • @laikacons
    @laikacons 4 дня назад

    “What are your milk options?”
    “Hot or cold”
    Lol

  • @Charmayne7
    @Charmayne7 Год назад

    I love his voice! It's so rich and soothing.