I’ve been committed to dressing modestly for twenty years now and have never regretted it! Not bringing the sexiness at the very beginning definitely serves a lady well! Thanks for sharing this!
Amen, exactly how I met my wife! I wanted a modest wife. Clothes dont define a person but at the same time what's in your heart it will display in your way you talk/dress. God bless you and your fiance. Wish more girls started to think like you!
I can’t agree more with this topic👍👍 my style is 50s, vintage. I don’t care if it’s considered “ grandma style” In the world of biker shorts and chunky white sneakers. It’s the style that represent my personality and it’s the style that makes stand out and makes me confident.
I’m obsessed with 1950s fashion, but can’t find anything anywhere for a decent price. Any recommendations? I’m a college student with a limited budget.
I was so happy to see that you had posted a new video! I totally agree 100% with everything you said here Rachel. I am 55 now, but I wish that I'd seen this video or had someone to explain this thing to me when I was 16! I grew up very poor and I got bullied and made fun of a lot by my school mates for being a poor kid. As a result, I had no self confidence and a very low self esteem. When I turned 16 and started dating, I sold myself short, and felt that the only thing I had to offer anybody was my physical attributes, so I dressed very provocatively. Needless to say that this led me down a path of many broken hearts and disappointments. I finally did learn this lesson, changed up my game and started dressing classy and modestly, and that's when I met and married a man who fell in love with my brain first! 😁💕
Great advice, Rachel!! I wish I knew this years ago. BUT, I did marry a wonderful man!! Thanking God for him everyday!! Almost 20 years and five children later! He still thinks I’m hot!! 🥰
Oh my goodness, I just graduated college this year and I have been through so many of the same things. As a young attractive girl in college I did what everyone does and showed a lot of skin on dates, but guys really did not treat me the way I wanted to be treated. I’m now changing my strategy and look and shocked by how respectfully men treat me, even in online dating messages.
I believe that some young women confused sexy dressing with stylish and attractive. They are not the same thing. Dressing stylish on a date means dressing contemporary, but elegantly. Not dowdy, but clothes that suit your figure, coloring and does not make you look like a hooker. A first date is like a job interview. Your partner is making snap judgements based on the first few minutes. First, do you care about yourself, are you someone they can take home to their mother, are you attractive, do you look like trouble or a one night stand, are you too cheap looking to introduce to friends and colleagues. Are you worthy of a second date or a long time commitment. Dressing like a hooker is offensive and tells your date you are not worthy of anything but a one night stand and that is all they will want you for.
I’ve learned a lot from you and I’m 58 . I have the best wardrobe I’ve ever had in my life due to you and doing lots of Pinterest boards .It’s beautiful , I get so many compliments and I dress very classic . It works !
It's the difference between portraying to the world that you're worth a few hours of entertainment, or worth the time to get to know and value the real you.
Raaacchhheeelll💞 So many women look up to the image of these half naked ig models & I haven’t seen none of them get married yet. If you want to be taken serious then dress the way you want to addressed. I heard a man say the more naked a woman is the more insecure she is. & that’s coming from a man. This is a great video.
On the first date I had with my now husband, I purposely dressed in baggy jeans and a hooded top, so that he couldn't see my figure and wouldn't know whether I had curves or not. I'm not saying that I'd do that if I were still on the daring scene today, but I guess it worked! It wasn't a feminine outfit per se, but it was definitely modest.
Sooo true♥♥♥ "I'm tired of being treated like a piece of meat and an object" Said the girl that post at least 100 photos of her almost naked.... You are free to do whatever you want, but humans have evolved SLOWLY during a bunch of years for you to just change it in a second. Love modesty and classy style since I was young and I realized that anyone have treated me wihout respect when I aproached... Thank you for this content🌸🌸🌸
Excellent advice. I'm a woman who cleans up well and likes to feel sexy, but I'm always worried about men not being as into me when they see me without my makeup or outside of the sexy clothes. A lot of us girls can fake good skin, and a fit body can still have cellulite and scarring. I'm not the type who is looking to hook up with randoms either. I want love and depth. Even if you love sexy clothes, I think dressing modestly when you're dating is wonderful. Men who care more for the physical stuff won't be as likely to be interested, and you won't feel like your value is your looks.
Thank you so much for making this video!! These are true facts right here that people don't want to hear because it can be challenging to dress modestly and not get as much attention as you would if you didn't. I wish I had known this years ago. It protects from heartbreak and wasting your time. Not to mention dressing modestly looks more beautiful and visually pleasing than "sexy" and "hot".
That thought you started the video with..was exactly the same thought I had when I decided to transform to the Classic, Elegant wardrobe! I want a man to see me for Me, and not my body only!💝
I really need to hear this. My husband killed himself a little over a year ago and I tried to date in the last couple weeks. I don't even know HOW to date anymore! The kicker is, I'm extremely smart and to me a guy who's intelligence will given me a run for my money, and who has an amazing sense of humor (and preferably Jewish) are really important for me to find. But all I found, and again I only tried for 2 weeks, was guys who wanted to come over and sleep with me. Dressing modestly did not make a lick of difference. I think I'm just ready to give up and be alone. I'm not counteracting your message, I agree with it very strongly actually, I just wish I didn't have to date again, I'm 38, and I wish I knew what I did wrong to wind up getting ghosted 3 times in under 2 weeks.
I have always thought that a woman dressed classy and even more conservative are way more attractive that someone dressed skimmpy like low cut blouse or very short skirt,in my opinion when a woman dresses nice, elegant, and classy then they are not trying to portray something they're not, they have more self esteem and self confidence and they care about how they look,and to me this shows true beauty, wish more would take your advice
I absolutely love your message because I think the same as you do. In a nutshell it’s about respecting yourself. I hope many young women watch this message and take it seriously.
Thank you. You explained this so well. I am currently on my modest journey and I am loving the transition. In my opinion, modest dressing is so much better because like you said, the way you dress is cutting to the chase and you’re not getting any superficial attention. Plus, there’s so much room to accessorize with cool hats, head wraps, neck scarves, cool socks, jewelry. I’m a fashionista at heart and it’s all about the silhouette ladies. I truly believe when you dress in a way that doesn’t glorify your body, but to glorify God your truest and authentic individual style comes out so naturally. I wish everyone the best on their journey. ❤
You hit the nail on the head. Like you, I believe modesty always works in woman’s favor. I like to keep classy and timeless and as a result, men treat me exceptionally well in comparison to other ladies when we hangout and it draws a lot of attention. It feels awesome to set apart and respected 🙌🏽.
You look fabulous! It really is disheartening to see how young girls are dressing now thinking that is the proper way to dress for attention and to be heard. Unfortunately, it brings the wrong attention and they are not taken seriously. I just wish they understood that. You have brought another great topic to the forefront.
100% TRUE! These important things about foundational values need to be said, especially in our current superficial society. Many people do not even know who they are or what they want and this is a big part of the problem, and their value system is askew.
Well said indeed! We'd do well to advertise the truest self. Integrity in advertising isn't always the most popular way, but there would be a lot less "buyer's remorse". Loved your point about our bodies being a temple. 100% facts! Shouldn't we have great honour for our temple? You should write a book, Rachel! Thanks so much for this. Btw, you look like a million bucks & your dressing reflects that...informs as to your value, your worth. (Plz don't get me wrong, just because someone might have fallen upon hard times & looks rather shabby as a result, doesn't mean that they're less valuable or worthless...they're still priceless!)
Thank you for your timely advice about how to build a lasting, loving relationship. I found your words to be very comforting and helpful. I am currently involved in a 22 year relationship with a wonderful woman, and she is an incredible part of my life. Her loving heart has helped to get me through many difficult times. We may never get married or have children, but I am so fortunate for having her in my life.
Yep, I'm hooked now..... subscribe button hit. I love your thinking, your attitude, your message and mostly your passion and fire! You have a fantastic energy, I've really enjoyed the 2 videos I've watched... I'm going on a catch up binge now!❤❤ thank you lovely lady❤❤
I completely agree with everything you said. It's one thing if you're only looking for something casual (no judgment or anything), but if you want a real relationship, it's important to weed out the guys who primarily care about superficial aspects. I also really like that you're not shaming women for dressing a certain way or buying into advice that you're supposed to look "sexy" on dates, but instead explaining why this approach may be more beneficial.
You are so right. It's great because you are going to help so many young ladies. I made that same mistake when I was your age. Congratulations on your engagement. TFS 🙂
Thank you, Rachel. So much wisdom in this! I wish more women heard this sort of message. I've been watching your channel for a while and I just love so much of your content.
Thank you for the insight, Rachel, great video! A food for thought... And great to see you again here, I miss your regular videos! Hope to have a new video again soon! 🙂❤❤❤
I was rlly naive when it came to dressing and now I’m having to rethink a lot of things. Yes I only would wear clothes that showed my figure bc I was proud of it. I had no that it was contributing to why I was feeling sexually objectified by a lot of men on dates. A lot of stuff you said makes a lot of sense
I think there is a way to look subtly sexy like showing off your silhouette without showing a bunch of skin. That is what is going to make you feel confident and not uncomfortable because there will not be too much showing. My tip is really just to have one part of your outfit be figure-hugging (no cleavage or too-short skirts) and for the other to be loose and flowy. Obviously there is more to it, but I think this can help your confidence!
More advice I would add: don’t even follow the above tip on the FIRST date. Save those cute, more sexy looking outfits for someone who has already earned respect and emotional intimacy from you. Alexadrasgirlytalk has actually a GREAT video on this topic!
I loved this video and I love your dress! I just recently realized I have to stop shopping where I usually do because everything there is immodest. My closet is full of provocative clothing and I have very little to choose from for modesty. 😨
I want to say one thing. I know this channel is designed to help women become more classy, sophisticated and so on but I judge people by what they wear. Honestly! How a person dresses themselves I can get a feel for their personality what jokes will work with them, what won't and I get on well with diffrent sets of people in life, usually, and this is what I mean. People go towards what they are attracted to - right? Anyone would agree with me, we all do, if you're very femanine you go for smaller prints such as flowers, smaller lines, if stripy, etc. For me smaller flowers on clothes didn't work for me, it reminded me of the way old fashioned people used to wear dress, people like my Aunty Alice my Gran had certain blouses that I'd never wear because I associated that print with the old. I do know the retro fashion right now is coming back around (my Mom even said so) and I was right to associate it with the old, but I don't change with the fashion to suit me, I've always been... I like this, this and that and this that and this is what I don't. I've always know what I like, what I don't and what I will not wear. If your personality is badass, (you're not pretending to be badass in your new leather jacket) there's a difference, and it fits the personality. Very smart, serious well dressed men wear jumpers with the little collars underneath and the same with women who wear the double-breasted coats with a dress underneath, or perhaps a shirt and trousers because you can get very classy double-breasted coats, and then if their makeups perfect, there's not a hair out of place on them etc it tells you everything about a person! Whether they are easy going, laid back or serious and high maintenance. What they wear, how they wear it and so on so I do judge people to get that feel for them and that's my point, we go to what we, are attracted to. That's why you say that women like me don't generally go for plain clothes because they find it boring, but if I may, it's not that, it's all about the mindset associated with these clothes. Some people want to get noticed by bold prints or big colours but classy sophisticated people they tend to fade away into the background, especially in neutral colours because they're not easily spotted but if someone gets the chance to get to know one of these people then they are one of the most intelligent people with wonderful minds - because they don't attract attention easily, it's not to say they don't attract attention but the right kind of attention for them. They do get noticed, it's just the bold colourful girls get noticed by more men and horribly, without knowing us - these women assume we are all sluts! My Mom has always tried to get me to cover my bum with a long cardigan "it's slimming and sexy" she says... but I'm done with anyone telling me what to wear because of her and I'm telling anyone if you don't dress into what makes you feel confident you'll never make yourself feel good. If you want to dress a certain way that's great as long as you feel great! Say, if you put someone classy in a store with animal print and slogans on T shirts they're just going to be looking at it going isn't this all tacky - right? So people judge people the seccond they see each other. Like, what you put on tells the world everything you want them to think about you and then you'll have the classy woman going "Oh, my god, that top with those pants" I can also see your judgementalness take a hold, then fall about laughing but then tell us wear what we want to wear. "That belt with that bag? Didn't she like look in the mirror this morning?" You get my point. In general, the more put together, well presented people are in fact judgemental to people who dress differently to them, it's like they go by the same motto of, "if you're not of the same class as me, the look, the same values, I don't want to date you, or be associated with you or... You seen decent enough, ill change you, let me polish you up around the edges, you have promise." Whereas the very down to earth dressed people will accept you as you are. I like you. You like me. This is how you like to dress? Cool. And then.... Then! When you dress differently people will treat you differently and you'll give off a whole diffrent message out with your clothes something that isn't you, you'll attract guys who are bad for you - without a sense of playfulness or a good sense of humour because they're too serious minded and suited for the more buisness class, modern woman who occupies themselves with serious jobs, finances, starting new companies etc. I'm saying if your energy you project out isn't what you dress yourself to be like you said those jeans and slinky outfits weren't for you, because that wasn't who you were! If you're not dressing for yourself you'll create a diffrent message and if that doesn't align up with your personality people will know something about you isn't authentic, and I'm saying how are you supposed to date and get the right kind of man more suited to you? I might have attracted the attention then either to my boobs or my bum, but at the start I wasn't aware of it. I knew I had a figure because I worked out and in the end I wanted to show it off. If I thought I'm attracting attention to my boobs (even in a white T my Mom constantly told me I'd a bust on me.) But I didn't think always about it like that. For me, when I knew I was in a serious relationship I'd have sex with the guy if he was serious about me but I'd have to hold back the sex, I'd have to until I knew they were long term. One time I told this one guy who always wanted it, telling him, I've had sex before and I'm not shy or scared, I'll have it but how serious am I to you? I got my answer, he wasn't worth getting serious with even though it upset me and I was very angry about it, but I always knew the right guy would wait. They do! They really do! My dating history is so very simular to yours because I was done with guys and wasn't even looking for anything until I met Gary. I was never attracted to the put together, well polished man. I knew I always wanted a man a little rough around the edges with a sense of humour simular to mine and I went to what I was attracted to, and then I found the one! My rough around the edges husband makes me feel sexy everyday, and I like that. He also loves me for me not the image I project out, which is amazing. We have to be right for the people we date or its never going to work. I was always after the tall dark slim bad boy growing up. Did I get my heart broken? Yes but then I found the right guy for me because despite everything all the heartbreak and some I ended I still believed in love and my happy ending. (that still is important to to believe in, I must say.) I've always been a clothes type of girl and my clothes, my clothes, I chose for myself showed the world for who I truly was and then my friends, people who wanted to be with me in my life were attracted to me being me. That's how being authentic starts by showing up in the clothes you picked out for yourself and letting everyone feel your energy and by being authentic the right people come to you. I too, had to filter through a lot of jerks or too well nice guys to feel like someone actually wanted a relationship. If I'd have covered myself up I might have ended up in a serious relationship but with someone who would make me feel unhappy by making me feel like I was never good enough and I'd have to work to earn their approval, time and affection - critising strongly over every wrong decision I made (that was right for me) I dressed appropriately and I never felt that way whilst dating my husband and I'm my whole self with him. Let me tell you something the moment I gained a bit of weight, I didn't feel insecure about myself because I'd always been hot, you don't go through life feeling hot to oh well, now it's my greatest insecurity - that's going too deep. I'm deep. But I'm not that deep. The minute my fella turned around and told me I was hot I didn't feel I had to put that much pressure on myself to stay slim. I got comfortable with him gained that weight but it was a conscious decision in my mind to take myself off the market.I don't need everybody now to look at me and think, well, she's hot (if they do, they do) but as long as my husband is attracted to me, loves me - I don't need to be hot for other people. If I think about it, I started putting weight on whilst I was dating him way over 10 yrs ago, and it started to fluctuate. I'd loose it. Gain some. Loose it but I didn't have to try to make him like me, in fact it helped boost my confidence. People generally watch what they eat, exercise more not always necessarily to be healthy but when they are on a mission to find love. Looks are important. I asked my husband a question what's important to you looks or personality? And he thought about it and worded it in just the perfect way. "its like a box you have to be attracted to the pretty paper and you think it's cool to then find out what's its inside it" I loved that answer, because there is always more to me than what meets the eye. Some people would be surprised how I can have a fairly deep enough chat about various things. I'm into psychology, human behaviour, body language, narcissisum etc. Whyd you think I'm on your page?
Wearing modest clothing is showing testimony without saying a word. So, dress the way you want to be addressed. And it isn't just the exterior. The exterior is an example of what's going on the inside of a woman. She dresses immodest or in a sexy way because she's craving attention for validation. Therefore, your body is your temple that houses your soul. So do not expose your temple that diminishes dignity ladies.
They way I feel you are you‘re like my best friend talkibg to me which means alot to me since I don‘t have any friends. Not yet. Your videos help me so much to find what I was like before I stopped caring about my appereance❤️ Especially your video about dressing up every day just hit deeply. I love your content already and I hope you will gift us with many more videos💕
Hey, so I have a couple questions/comments about this, if you don't mind:) My first question is, as someone who believes modesty is ideal, what do you feel is the best solution for getting it to be more common? Do you, for instance, favor legislations that requires women to dress modestly, or are you just saying that you think it's what's best? My second question is actually more of just information that I think may help give you slightly different perspective on this subject. First off, it should be noted that modesty is subjective to culture and that the body parts you mentioned showing aren't necessarily considered immodest in every culture. The Bible itself doesn't technically mentioned those parts as being immodest either. The verse that does talk about modesty defines modesty more as just not wearing excessively braided hair or fancy jewelry. In a more modern context, I'd say that what that means is just not dressing with the intention of drawing attention to your wealth, fancy material, etc. The other think that's important to note is that while most version of Matthew 5:27-28 appear to condemn lusting after a woman as adultery, it's original text, which is in Greek, reads "Ἠκούσατε ὅτι ἐρρέθη· οὐ μοιχεύσεις. ἐγὼ δὲ λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι πᾶς ὁ βλέπων γυναῖκα πρὸς τὸ ἐπιθυμῆσαι αὐτὴν ἤδη ἐμοίχευσεν αὐτὴν ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ." The word ἐπιθυμῆσαι mostly closely means "to covet" and γυναῖκα means "woman" or "wife", depending on the context. The verse is about adultery, so "wife" is probably the proper meaning of it. there. So in English, the most accurate translation would be something more like “You heard it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ but I say to you that everyone who looks at a wife in order to covet her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Basically, what the verse is saying is that a man is to avoid looking at woman who he knows is married while setting his heart upon trying to have an affair with her or doing other things that were prohibited to do with married women under Mosaic law. The standard interpretation of it is that it's adultery for a man to see a woman scantily clad or in any other immodest state of dress and think intimately about her, but in reality, it's really just reminding believers of the importance of not coveting (yearning to possess or do other forbidden things) other peoples' wives.
Hours before the first date with my now husband I went out to buy long loose pants. I called them alladin pants. And a big baggy black loose shirt. Basically I decided to cover my whole body. And went without makeup. With messy hair. We were married within few months. 😉
Hi Rachel would you consider doing a video on how to style a colourful Hermes handbag? I have recently invested in a burgundy birkin as the colour is so versatile, but don’t want the bag to start wearing me rather than the other way around. What is the best way to incorporate a coloured bag into your wardrobe without it overwhelming you? Thanks in advance!
Let me tell you something I didn't dress elegant, or sophisticated, I worked at Newlook I went to what I liked and developed more of a street style, I didn't need my boobs out, even though I'd a rack I didn't have to wear low cut things but I'd two sets of clothes, one for going out to clubs so tops would be lower but for normal every day wear it was more of a street style, so the t shirts with slogans on, or the tops with the bulky flowers on, the denim jackets. I had the same brown puffa jacket Stacey Slater wore in Eastenders but although that was my style I wasn't a slut, and new look had lots of different styles for different people and all different occasions therefore I liked more than one style, so I'd be street in the day, sexy in clubs, but I'd know how to be socially accepted in respectful places, as long as I had a dress, or a nice top without my chest prominent and a pair of trousers I'd be fine. With my boyfriend at the time the moment I gained a bit of weight, I didn't feel insecure about myself because I'd always been hot, you don't go through life feeling hot to oh well, now it's my greatest insecurity - that's going too deep. I'm deep but I'm not that deep. The minute my fella turned around and told me I was hot I thought to myself, he finds me hot and I didn't feel I had to put that much pressure on myself to stay slim. I got comfortable with him gained that weight but it was a conscious decision in my mind to take myself off the market. I don't need everybody now to look at me and think, well, she's hot (if they do, they do) but as long as my husband is attracted to me, loves me - I don't need to be hot for other people. If I think about it, I started putting weight on whilst I was dating him way over 10 yrs ago, and it started to fluctuate. I'd loose it. Gain some. Loose it but I didn't have to try to make him like me, he liked me, in fact it helped boost my confidence. People generally watch what they eat, exercise more not always necessarily to be healthy (some are though) but when they are on a mission to find love. I asked my husband a question what's important to you, looks or personality? And he thought about it and worded it in just the perfect way. "It's like a box you have to be attracted to the pretty paper to unwrap it and you like what you see you think it's cool to then keep going on to find out what's its inside it" I loved that answer, because there is always more to me than what meets the eye. Some people would be surprised how I can have a fairly deep enough chat about various things. I'm into psychology, human behaviour, body language, narcissisum etc so I like chats about most deep stuff
I’ve been committed to dressing modestly for twenty years now and have never regretted it! Not bringing the sexiness at the very beginning definitely serves a lady well! Thanks for sharing this!
I personally don't have an issue with that, just as long as you don't have a problem with other women choosing differently.
Amen, exactly how I met my wife! I wanted a modest wife. Clothes dont define a person but at the same time what's in your heart it will display in your way you talk/dress. God bless you and your fiance. Wish more girls started to think like you!
That dress and belt is soooo cute, love love love it!
Right💐🌺
After being divorced from a guy who was not really interested in me as a person I totally agree with you! Hope to see you more often on RUclips! 😘
Same here
I can’t agree more with this topic👍👍 my style is 50s, vintage. I don’t care if it’s considered “ grandma style” In the world of biker shorts and chunky white sneakers. It’s the style that represent my personality and it’s the style that makes stand out and makes me confident.
I love the style of the 70’s and 80’s so I relate 😭
I’m obsessed with 1950s fashion, but can’t find anything anywhere for a decent price. Any recommendations? I’m a college student with a limited budget.
I was so happy to see that you had posted a new video! I totally agree 100% with everything you said here Rachel. I am 55 now, but I wish that I'd seen this video or had someone to explain this thing to me when I was 16! I grew up very poor and I got bullied and made fun of a lot by my school mates for being a poor kid. As a result, I had no self confidence and a very low self esteem. When I turned 16 and started dating, I sold myself short, and felt that the only thing I had to offer anybody was my physical attributes, so I dressed very provocatively. Needless to say that this led me down a path of many broken hearts and disappointments. I finally did learn this lesson, changed up my game and started dressing classy and modestly, and that's when I met and married a man who fell in love with my brain first! 😁💕
@Sloan Chessman my background was similar. I completely understand and like how you put it
impressing
Wow! What a story! I’m glad you found your forever partner. ☺️❤️
Great advice, Rachel!! I wish I knew this years ago. BUT, I did marry a wonderful man!! Thanking God for him everyday!! Almost 20 years and five children later! He still thinks I’m hot!! 🥰
Oh my goodness, I just graduated college this year and I have been through so many of the same things. As a young attractive girl in college I did what everyone does and showed a lot of skin on dates, but guys really did not treat me the way I wanted to be treated. I’m now changing my strategy and look and shocked by how respectfully men treat me, even in online dating messages.
In Turkish culture, girls and guys talk about faith, hobbies, money, jobs, politics on their first dates too. Sex is not talked about.
That is all in Islam. Things are are important we talk about. Sex comes after marriage.
I believe that some young women confused sexy dressing with stylish and attractive. They are not the same thing. Dressing stylish on a date means dressing contemporary, but elegantly. Not dowdy, but clothes that suit your figure, coloring and does not make you look like a hooker. A first date is like a job interview. Your partner is making snap judgements based on the first few minutes. First, do you care about yourself, are you someone they can take home to their mother, are you attractive, do you look like trouble or a one night stand, are you too cheap looking to introduce to friends and colleagues. Are you worthy of a second date or a long time commitment. Dressing like a hooker is offensive and tells your date you are not worthy of anything but a one night stand and that is all they will want you for.
You are so right. I agree fully.
You are so right thank you for saying that
I am from Brazil and almost all the women dress sexy so they don't understand why I insist on dressing modestly which I'm quite proud of.
That's why there are so many neglected children on the streets of Brazil especially after Mardi Gras naked women
I’ve learned a lot from you and I’m 58 . I have the best wardrobe I’ve ever had in my life due to you and doing lots of Pinterest boards .It’s beautiful , I get so many compliments and I dress very classic . It works !
It's the difference between portraying to the world that you're worth a few hours of entertainment, or worth the time to get to know and value the real you.
This is such a refreshing view of why modesty is so empowering.. 💝 thank you for sharing..
Glad you enjoyed it!
This is amazing advice for single women! You explained your point so well. I coincide with your belief 100%. Your amazing! ❤️
Raaacchhheeelll💞 So many women look up to the image of these half naked ig models & I haven’t seen none of them get married yet. If you want to be taken serious then dress the way you want to addressed. I heard a man say the more naked a woman is the more insecure she is. & that’s coming from a man. This is a great video.
On the first date I had with my now husband, I purposely dressed in baggy jeans and a hooded top, so that he couldn't see my figure and wouldn't know whether I had curves or not. I'm not saying that I'd do that if I were still on the daring scene today, but I guess it worked! It wasn't a feminine outfit per se, but it was definitely modest.
Don’t dress dowdy you still can look good
Sooo true♥♥♥
"I'm tired of being treated like a piece of meat and an object"
Said the girl that post at least 100 photos of her almost naked....
You are free to do whatever you want, but humans have evolved SLOWLY during a bunch of years for you to just change it in a second.
Love modesty and classy style since I was young and I realized that anyone have treated me wihout respect when I aproached...
Thank you for this content🌸🌸🌸
Dressing modestly and not drinking too much alcohol is good even not on dates. We need to have respect for ourselves so MEN can respect us🌷
You should write a book on modesty dating. It would sell.
Excellent advice. I'm a woman who cleans up well and likes to feel sexy, but I'm always worried about men not being as into me when they see me without my makeup or outside of the sexy clothes. A lot of us girls can fake good skin, and a fit body can still have cellulite and scarring. I'm not the type who is looking to hook up with randoms either. I want love and depth. Even if you love sexy clothes, I think dressing modestly when you're dating is wonderful. Men who care more for the physical stuff won't be as likely to be interested, and you won't feel like your value is your looks.
A lot of wisdom packed in this video- thank you for sharing
I'm glad you're finally back. So happy to hear from you again.
Thank you so much for making this video!! These are true facts right here that people don't want to hear because it can be challenging to dress modestly and not get as much attention as you would if you didn't. I wish I had known this years ago. It protects from heartbreak and wasting your time. Not to mention dressing modestly looks more beautiful and visually pleasing than "sexy" and "hot".
What a breath of fresh air you are! Exactly what young ladies need today.
That thought you started the video with..was exactly the same thought I had when I decided to transform to the Classic, Elegant wardrobe! I want a man to see me for Me, and not my body only!💝
I really need to hear this. My husband killed himself a little over a year ago and I tried to date in the last couple weeks. I don't even know HOW to date anymore! The kicker is, I'm extremely smart and to me a guy who's intelligence will given me a run for my money, and who has an amazing sense of humor (and preferably Jewish) are really important for me to find. But all I found, and again I only tried for 2 weeks, was guys who wanted to come over and sleep with me. Dressing modestly did not make a lick of difference. I think I'm just ready to give up and be alone. I'm not counteracting your message, I agree with it very strongly actually, I just wish I didn't have to date again, I'm 38, and I wish I knew what I did wrong to wind up getting ghosted 3 times in under 2 weeks.
I have always thought that a woman dressed classy and even more conservative are way more attractive that someone dressed skimmpy like low cut blouse or very short skirt,in my opinion when a woman dresses nice, elegant, and classy then they are not trying to portray something they're not, they have more self esteem and self confidence and they care about how they look,and to me this shows true beauty, wish more would take your advice
I absolutely love your message because I think the same as you do. In a nutshell it’s about respecting yourself. I hope many young women watch this message and take it seriously.
Thank you. You explained this so well. I am currently on my modest journey and I am loving the transition. In my opinion, modest dressing is so much better because like you said, the way you dress is cutting to the chase and you’re not getting any superficial attention. Plus, there’s so much room to accessorize with cool hats, head wraps, neck scarves, cool socks, jewelry. I’m a fashionista at heart and it’s all about the silhouette ladies. I truly believe when you dress in a way that doesn’t glorify your body, but to glorify God your truest and authentic individual style comes out so naturally. I wish everyone the best on their journey. ❤
You hit the nail on the head. Like you, I believe modesty always works in woman’s favor. I like to keep classy and timeless and as a result, men treat me exceptionally well in comparison to other ladies when we hangout and it draws a lot of attention. It feels awesome to set apart and respected 🙌🏽.
This is so beautifully said ♥️✔️
You look fabulous! It really is disheartening to see how young girls are dressing now thinking that is the proper way to dress for attention and to be heard. Unfortunately, it brings the wrong attention and they are not taken seriously. I just wish they understood that. You have brought another great topic to the forefront.
you and your message are a Godsend to girls and women. Never waiver from your modesty message and being feminine . Thank You so much.
It was an immense pleasure listening to you! Great video!
Excellent advice! Hope many will consider your words...it makes so much sense. Thank you!
100% TRUE! These important things about foundational values need to be said, especially in our current superficial society. Many people do not even know who they are or what they want and this is a big part of the problem, and their value system is askew.
Well said indeed! We'd do well to advertise the truest self. Integrity in advertising isn't always the most popular way, but there would be a lot less "buyer's remorse". Loved your point about our bodies being a temple. 100% facts! Shouldn't we have great honour for our temple? You should write a book, Rachel! Thanks so much for this. Btw, you look like a million bucks & your dressing reflects that...informs as to your value, your worth. (Plz don't get me wrong, just because someone might have fallen upon hard times & looks rather shabby as a result, doesn't mean that they're less valuable or worthless...they're still priceless!)
You are so right, I wish I've heard this one before. It does make so much sense. Thank you Rachel!
Thank you so much for this video, Rachel!
Greetings from Brazil!
So right. Congratulations for your engagement 😍
Great to see you back! Completely agree with your points girl! Continue to be an example of class!
Glad to see you making videos again! Especially bcoz this one waa so personal 😁
I think you should make a video on dining etiquette.
You sound like my grandma, but its sooo true.
Thank you for your timely advice about how to build a lasting, loving relationship. I found your words to be very comforting and helpful. I am currently involved in a 22 year relationship with a wonderful woman, and she is an incredible part of my life. Her loving heart has helped to get me through many difficult times. We may never get married or have children, but I am so fortunate for having her in my life.
After a long time seeing you here and I am so happy..please try and upload videos regularly
Yep, I'm hooked now..... subscribe button hit. I love your thinking, your attitude, your message and mostly your passion and fire! You have a fantastic energy, I've really enjoyed the 2 videos I've watched... I'm going on a catch up binge now!❤❤ thank you lovely lady❤❤
I completely agree with everything you said. It's one thing if you're only looking for something casual (no judgment or anything), but if you want a real relationship, it's important to weed out the guys who primarily care about superficial aspects. I also really like that you're not shaming women for dressing a certain way or buying into advice that you're supposed to look "sexy" on dates, but instead explaining why this approach may be more beneficial.
You are so right. It's great because you are going to help so many young ladies. I made that same mistake when I was your age. Congratulations on your engagement. TFS 🙂
Excellent video Rachel. 👏🏼💯
I just love you even more now! Thank you for addressing this topic!
Thank you, good advice and I also love the belt you are wearing - looks like a well aged leather belt and has that shine to it.
Love this video! Can you talk about accessorising and shoes when dressing modestly and about dressing modestly while also looking confident and etc?
Thank you, Rachel. So much wisdom in this! I wish more women heard this sort of message.
I've been watching your channel for a while and I just love so much of your content.
I missed you 🙁 happy to see you again! and with a wonderful topic! 🤩
Thank you so much for the content! This is helpful advice.
What a thoughtful video, I couldn’t agree more. Thanks Rachel
The cake analogy is so perfect. Thank you for such a thoughtful video.
Love the outfit you have on! Very pretty dress!
Thank you for speaking the truth! Need more of that!!
You have a way with words Rachel, well said!
Very well said I haven't heard it from this perspective! Thank you!
Thank you for the insight, Rachel, great video! A food for thought...
And great to see you again here, I miss your regular videos! Hope to have a new video again soon!
🙂❤❤❤
Hay Rachel, love the video! Would you mind doing a date night outfit look book/ modest date night outfit inspiration video?
THANK U!!!!!!!!
You look absolutely STUNNING!!!!!
Loved this!! Rachel, please make more videos..we need more feminine women 💕👌🏽👏🏽
I was rlly naive when it came to dressing and now I’m having to rethink a lot of things. Yes I only would wear clothes that showed my figure bc I was proud of it. I had no that it was contributing to why I was feeling sexually objectified by a lot of men on dates. A lot of stuff you said makes a lot of sense
I think there is a way to look subtly sexy like showing off your silhouette without showing a bunch of skin. That is what is going to make you feel confident and not uncomfortable because there will not be too much showing. My tip is really just to have one part of your outfit be figure-hugging (no cleavage or too-short skirts) and for the other to be loose and flowy. Obviously there is more to it, but I think this can help your confidence!
More advice I would add: don’t even follow the above tip on the FIRST date. Save those cute, more sexy looking outfits for someone who has already earned respect and emotional intimacy from you. Alexadrasgirlytalk has actually a GREAT video on this topic!
This video is the truth. Great advice for women. Bless you.
I remember feeling dressing sexy to draw attention was all I had to offer. It was hard to getnpast that.
I loved this video and I love your dress! I just recently realized I have to stop shopping where I usually do because everything there is immodest. My closet is full of provocative clothing and I have very little to choose from for modesty. 😨
Amazing video and tips. Been following you since your beginning!
I want to say one thing. I know this channel is designed to help women become more classy, sophisticated and so on but I judge people by what they wear. Honestly!
How a person dresses themselves I can get a feel for their personality what jokes will work with them, what won't and I get on well with diffrent sets of people in life, usually, and this is what I mean.
People go towards what they are attracted to - right? Anyone would agree with me, we all do, if you're very femanine you go for smaller prints such as flowers, smaller lines, if stripy, etc.
For me smaller flowers on clothes didn't work for me, it reminded me of the way old fashioned people used to wear dress, people like my Aunty Alice my Gran had certain blouses that I'd never wear because I associated that print with the old. I do know the retro fashion right now is coming back around (my Mom even said so) and I was right to associate it with the old, but I don't change with the fashion to suit me, I've always been... I like this, this and that and this that and this is what I don't. I've always know what I like, what I don't and what I will not wear.
If your personality is badass, (you're not pretending to be badass in your new leather jacket) there's a difference, and it fits the personality.
Very smart, serious well dressed men wear jumpers with the little collars underneath and the same with women who wear the double-breasted coats with a dress underneath, or perhaps a shirt and trousers because you can get very classy double-breasted coats, and then if their makeups perfect, there's not a hair out of place on them etc it tells you everything about a person! Whether they are easy going, laid back or serious and high maintenance. What they wear, how they wear it and so on so I do judge people to get that feel for them and that's my point, we go to what we, are attracted to. That's why you say that women like me don't generally go for plain clothes because they find it boring, but if I may, it's not that, it's all about the mindset associated with these clothes. Some people want to get noticed by bold prints or big colours but classy sophisticated people they tend to fade away into the background, especially in neutral colours because they're not easily spotted but if someone gets the chance to get to know one of these people then they are one of the most intelligent people with wonderful minds - because they don't attract attention easily, it's not to say they don't attract attention but the right kind of attention for them. They do get noticed, it's just the bold colourful girls get noticed by more men and horribly, without knowing us - these women assume we are all sluts!
My Mom has always tried to get me to cover my bum with a long cardigan
"it's slimming and sexy" she says...
but I'm done with anyone telling me what to wear because of her and I'm telling anyone if you don't dress into what makes you feel confident you'll never make yourself feel good. If you want to dress a certain way that's great as long as you feel great!
Say, if you put someone classy in a store with animal print and slogans on T shirts they're just going to be looking at it going isn't this all tacky - right?
So people judge people the seccond they see each other. Like, what you put on tells the world everything you want them to think about you and then you'll have the classy woman going
"Oh, my god, that top with those pants"
I can also see your judgementalness take a hold, then fall about laughing but then tell us wear what we want to wear.
"That belt with that bag? Didn't she like look in the mirror this morning?"
You get my point. In general, the more put together, well presented people are in fact judgemental to people who dress differently to them, it's like they go by the same motto of,
"if you're not of the same class as me, the look, the same values, I don't want to date you, or be associated with you or... You seen decent enough, ill change you, let me polish you up around the edges, you have promise."
Whereas the very down to earth dressed people will accept you as you are. I like you. You like me. This is how you like to dress? Cool.
And then.... Then! When you dress differently people will treat you differently and you'll give off a whole diffrent message out with your clothes something that isn't you, you'll attract guys who are bad for you - without a sense of playfulness or a good sense of humour because they're too serious minded and suited for the more buisness class, modern woman who occupies themselves with serious jobs, finances, starting new companies etc.
I'm saying if your energy you project out isn't what you dress yourself to be like you said those jeans and slinky outfits weren't for you, because that wasn't who you were! If you're not dressing for yourself you'll create a diffrent message and if that doesn't align up with your personality people will know something about you isn't authentic, and I'm saying how are you supposed to date and get the right kind of man more suited to you?
I might have attracted the attention then either to my boobs or my bum, but at the start I wasn't aware of it. I knew I had a figure because I worked out and in the end I wanted to show it off. If I thought I'm attracting attention to my boobs (even in a white T my Mom constantly told me I'd a bust on me.) But I didn't think always about it like that.
For me, when I knew I was in a serious relationship I'd have sex with the guy if he was serious about me but I'd have to hold back the sex, I'd have to until I knew they were long term. One time I told this one guy who always wanted it, telling him, I've had sex before and I'm not shy or scared, I'll have it but how serious am I to you? I got my answer, he wasn't worth getting serious with even though it upset me and I was very angry about it, but I always knew the right guy would wait. They do! They really do!
My dating history is so very simular to yours because I was done with guys and wasn't even looking for anything until I met Gary. I was never attracted to the put together, well polished man. I knew I always wanted a man a little rough around the edges with a sense of humour simular to mine and I went to what I was attracted to, and then I found the one! My rough around the edges husband makes me feel sexy everyday, and I like that. He also loves me for me not the image I project out, which is amazing. We have to be right for the people we date or its never going to work. I was always after the tall dark slim bad boy growing up.
Did I get my heart broken? Yes but then I found the right guy for me because despite everything all the heartbreak and some I ended I still believed in love and my happy ending. (that still is important to to believe in, I must say.)
I've always been a clothes type of girl and my clothes, my clothes, I chose for myself showed the world for who I truly was and then my friends, people who wanted to be with me in my life were attracted to me being me. That's how being authentic starts by showing up in the clothes you picked out for yourself and letting everyone feel your energy and by being authentic the right people come to you. I too, had to filter through a lot of jerks or too well nice guys to feel like someone actually wanted a relationship.
If I'd have covered myself up I might have ended up in a serious relationship but with someone who would make me feel unhappy by making me feel like I was never good enough and I'd have to work to earn their approval, time and affection - critising strongly over every wrong decision I made (that was right for me) I dressed appropriately and I never felt that way whilst dating my husband and I'm my whole self with him.
Let me tell you something the moment I gained a bit of weight, I didn't feel insecure about myself because I'd always been hot, you don't go through life feeling hot to oh well, now it's my greatest insecurity - that's going too deep. I'm deep. But I'm not that deep. The minute my fella turned around and told me I was hot I didn't feel I had to put that much pressure on myself to stay slim. I got comfortable with him gained that weight but it was a conscious decision in my mind to take myself off the market.I don't need everybody now to look at me and think, well, she's hot (if they do, they do) but as long as my husband is attracted to me, loves me - I don't need to be hot for other people. If I think about it, I started putting weight on whilst I was dating him way over 10 yrs ago, and it started to fluctuate. I'd loose it. Gain some. Loose it but I didn't have to try to make him like me, in fact it helped boost my confidence.
People generally watch what they eat, exercise more not always necessarily to be healthy but when they are on a mission to find love.
Looks are important. I asked my husband a question what's important to you looks or personality? And he thought about it and worded it in just the perfect way.
"its like a box you have to be attracted to the pretty paper and you think it's cool to then find out what's its inside it"
I loved that answer, because there is always more to me than what meets the eye. Some people would be surprised how I can have a fairly deep enough chat about various things. I'm into psychology, human behaviour, body language, narcissisum etc.
Whyd you think I'm on your page?
You're back!
This was precious! Thank you
Excellent video! Explained extremly well.
Great video.. so much wisdom packed in here
This was so good 🙌🏽
Wearing modest clothing is showing testimony without saying a word. So,
dress the way you want to be addressed. And it isn't just the exterior. The exterior is an example of what's going on the inside of a woman. She dresses immodest or in a sexy way because she's craving attention for validation. Therefore, your body is your temple that houses your soul. So do not expose your temple that diminishes dignity ladies.
They way I feel you are you‘re like my best friend talkibg to me which means alot to me since I don‘t have any friends. Not yet. Your videos help me so much to find what I was like before I stopped caring about my appereance❤️ Especially your video about dressing up every day just hit deeply. I love your content already and I hope you will gift us with many more videos💕
I totally agree, Rachel! 🙏🌹💐
It is an amazing video, and you look beautiful.
Great advice thank you 👍🙏
Wise talk
Fantastic video. Well said
Glad you’re back!! I love your channel.
Thank you for this lovely video! I love the advice
Hey, so I have a couple questions/comments about this, if you don't mind:)
My first question is, as someone who believes modesty is ideal, what do you feel is the best solution for getting it to be more common? Do you, for instance, favor legislations that requires women to dress modestly, or are you just saying that you think it's what's best?
My second question is actually more of just information that I think may help give you slightly different perspective on this subject. First off, it should be noted that modesty is subjective to culture and that the body parts you mentioned showing aren't necessarily considered immodest in every culture. The Bible itself doesn't technically mentioned those parts as being immodest either. The verse that does talk about modesty defines modesty more as just not wearing excessively braided hair or fancy jewelry. In a more modern context, I'd say that what that means is just not dressing with the intention of drawing attention to your wealth, fancy material, etc. The other think that's important to note is that while most version of Matthew 5:27-28 appear to condemn lusting after a woman as adultery, it's original text, which is in Greek, reads "Ἠκούσατε ὅτι ἐρρέθη· οὐ μοιχεύσεις. ἐγὼ δὲ λέγω ὑμῖν ὅτι πᾶς ὁ βλέπων γυναῖκα πρὸς τὸ ἐπιθυμῆσαι αὐτὴν ἤδη ἐμοίχευσεν αὐτὴν ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ." The word ἐπιθυμῆσαι mostly closely means "to covet" and γυναῖκα means "woman" or "wife", depending on the context. The verse is about adultery, so "wife" is probably the proper meaning of it. there. So in English, the most accurate translation would be something more like “You heard it was said, ‘Do not commit adultery,’ but I say to you that everyone who looks at a wife in order to covet her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” Basically, what the verse is saying is that a man is to avoid looking at woman who he knows is married while setting his heart upon trying to have an affair with her or doing other things that were prohibited to do with married women under Mosaic law. The standard interpretation of it is that it's adultery for a man to see a woman scantily clad or in any other immodest state of dress and think intimately about her, but in reality, it's really just reminding believers of the importance of not coveting (yearning to possess or do other forbidden things) other peoples' wives.
So happy to see you again... Thanks for all what you are doig. Love your belt
Wise words young lady!!
Your a genius.
Hours before the first date with my now husband I went out to buy long loose pants. I called them alladin pants. And a big baggy black loose shirt. Basically I decided to cover my whole body. And went without makeup. With messy hair. We were married within few months. 😉
Who’s craving frosting and cake?
Great video
Hi Rachel would you consider doing a video on how to style a colourful Hermes handbag? I have recently invested in a burgundy birkin as the colour is so versatile, but don’t want the bag to start wearing me rather than the other way around. What is the best way to incorporate a coloured bag into your wardrobe without it overwhelming you? Thanks in advance!
Nice choice of bag but they are overwhelming.
I totally agree with you!! Love your thinking!!
Let me tell you something I didn't dress elegant, or sophisticated, I worked at Newlook I went to what I liked and developed more of a street style, I didn't need my boobs out, even though I'd a rack I didn't have to wear low cut things but I'd two sets of clothes, one for going out to clubs so tops would be lower but for normal every day wear it was more of a street style, so the t shirts with slogans on, or the tops with the bulky flowers on, the denim jackets.
I had the same brown puffa jacket Stacey Slater wore in Eastenders but although that was my style I wasn't a slut, and new look had lots of different styles for different people and all different occasions therefore I liked more than one style, so I'd be street in the day, sexy in clubs, but I'd know how to be socially accepted in respectful places, as long as I had a dress, or a nice top without my chest prominent and a pair of trousers I'd be fine.
With my boyfriend at the time the moment I gained a bit of weight, I didn't feel insecure about myself because I'd always been hot, you don't go through life feeling hot to oh well, now it's my greatest insecurity - that's going too deep. I'm deep but I'm not that deep. The minute my fella turned around and told me I was hot I thought to myself, he finds me hot and I didn't feel I had to put that much pressure on myself to stay slim. I got comfortable with him gained that weight but it was a conscious decision in my mind to take myself off the market. I don't need everybody now to look at me and think, well, she's hot (if they do, they do) but as long as my husband is attracted to me, loves me - I don't need to be hot for other people. If I think about it, I started putting weight on whilst I was dating him way over 10 yrs ago, and it started to fluctuate. I'd loose it. Gain some. Loose it but I didn't have to try to make him like me, he liked me, in fact it helped boost my confidence. People generally watch what they eat, exercise more not always necessarily to be healthy (some are though) but when they are on a mission to find love.
I asked my husband a question what's important to you, looks or personality? And he thought about it and worded it in just the perfect way.
"It's like a box you have to be attracted to the pretty paper to unwrap it and you like what you see you think it's cool to then keep going on to find out what's its inside it"
I loved that answer, because there is always more to me than what meets the eye. Some people would be surprised how I can have a fairly deep enough chat about various things. I'm into psychology, human behaviour, body language, narcissisum etc so I like chats about most deep stuff
very helpful, thankyou, by the way, I really like your dress and belt, it looks great on you
Love the video...thanks
I love u Rachel!😭💓🇰🇪🍀✨