My dad passed away 5 years ago at 82. Months before he died he shared something with me. "Always be dreaming about your next project, whatever it is. Because the moment you stop dreaming you're just waiting to die." A week before he passed we were talking about how he could create a RUclips channel to talk about his bookstore and his collection.
It is like when you read a book or watch a movie or play a game, you wanna get to the end, but when you get to the end you're sad it's over. A man's story or game needs to be over many chapters, and many books in a saga, til he dies.
No offense but this sounds like the opposite of what this guy is trying to say. He is saying be happy WITHOUT achieving your next dream. ACCEPTING who you are right now. Ie...you are enough as is. Personally I follow your Dad's philosophy more
One thing I really worked on was recognizing "hey remember that time when..." moments while they are happening. I'm glad I figured it out. It's a game-changer.
@@artugert Very minor changes, that at the time didn't feel much. Some plans, get togethers, requests, which I had denied thinking there'll be plenty of time for it later on... Only there wasn't. Perhaps I should have said more "Yes" than "No"s when there was still time. That's the problem with time, we always think there'll be plenty of it later on.
PLEASE, you, and EVERYONE, if you haven't already, embrace the One True Only God YHWH Jehovah, Only One Jesus Christ His Only Begotten Son and Lord and Savior of our souls and the Only One Holy Spirit. God is good. God is love. Jesus is Lord! Jesus IS coming. Your soul depends on it! I have seen God act in my life. He saved my soul, changed my heart, changed my mind, helped people through me, took care of people in my life, people I hurt before I found God. God is the only reason I was able to reconcile with my dad before he died. God worked through Jesus Christ to save our souls. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Be baptized in The Holy Spirit, and if He wills, water as well. Repent of your sins, accept God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit into your heart, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins. For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, that all who believe on Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life. No one comes to the Father Jehovah God but through Him. Not long after I got saved I prayed to God for help understanding the Holy Bible, and that same day someone knocked on my door asking me if I wanted to understand the Bible. I have had times where I was thinking about Holy Bible quotes and have stumbled across them flipping through The Holy Bible at random the same/next day. God is here for you if you let Him guide you. The Holy Bible says, "love thy enemy", "turn the other cheek", "If your enemy is hungry, feed him", "if he is thirsty, give him a drink", "pray for those who persecute you", "do not repay evil for evil". LORD willing, all humans may commit sin of almost every kind (gay, straight), and that's wrong, and all humans sin, as God tells us through the The Holy Bible, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." The Holy Bible also says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.", "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." and, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
When you *keep on* playing it! Literally forever. In fact: "Play-Love" is a long neglected part of the 6-fold definition of "love" bequeathed to us by the Ancient Greeks. ...just sayin. A bro.
@@WhatEver-si7kt that's why you stop caring about winning, or stop thinking "i can only have fun if i'm winning", and just try to enjoy it how it's going (aka making the best of what you got). Goals drive you forward but at one point you should realize the carrot on the stick is not made to be obtained, so you either stop chasing after it or you try to see if there's something meaningful in the chase itself, beyond the carrot. Or you try your hardest to get it, and you do get it, but idk you'd probably realize it wasn't worth it when you get there. This is of course in the context of unreasonable goals, reasonable goals can very much be achieved even if they're difficult so you should still stick with them, this is not an excuse to roll over and do nothing whatsoever.
Early 30s dude here, achieved all I wanted, married, decent middle class job, bought my dream car, here I am, depressed, watching videos of other depressed men, sold my car, hate my job, feel useless. I totally understand and agree with this lesson: "Anticipating future events can be more pleasurable than the events themselves"
Do you have kids? In my experience having kids gives life so much more meaning than anything else ever could. Since you can see them developing skills and learning things in real time, it's a bit like re-experiencing the world through their eyes. Seeing all those little steps towards becoming a person is very wondrous and satisfying.
There is a void within everyone in the shape of God that can only be understood and fulfilled through Jesus Christ. Once this was revealed to me my life changed.
quit your job. It has been very freeing for me lately just earning enough to maintain and sustain. As a single guy the idea is to obtain an excess to attract a suitable mate but the mates are few and far between, corrupted and not worthy of perusal. Don't like the game you are playing? Start a new one with happiness at its core. Doing the bare minimum has never been more satisfying for me.
@@viggotannhauser7251 Kids shouldn’t be the solution to one’s sense of emptiness towards life. Only have kids if you truly want them and have the mental stability and maturity to do it.
@@bicycles-as-far-as-im-aliv5725 But many people don't realize that they are actually in a place where they can be completely happy and that it's the next goal that blocks them from seeing this.
One lesson I've learnt from billionaires is to always put your money to work, and diversifying your investments. I'm planning to invest about $200k of my savings in stocks this year, and I hope I make profits.
You are right. The best approach I feel is to diversify investments- by spreading investments across different asset classes like bonds, real estate, and international stocks, they can reduce the impact of a market meltdown.
That makes sense. I’ve been using a financial market expert for two years now and I own a six-figure diversified portfolio from investing in stocks. I want to diversify more this year, though.
@@Dantursi1 I really want to get in with a financial advisor this year, especially as all markets are hitting lows. I don't want to be too optimistic and end up losing everything.
My CFA Annette Christine Conte, a renowned figure in her line of work. I recommend researching her credentials further... She has many years of experience and is a valuable resource for anyone looking to navigate the financial market..
Thanks for sharing, I just looked her up on the web and I would say she really has an impressive background in investing. I will write her an e-mail shortly.
@@toliveistolearnandtolove7858 I don't think he said he was jobless. I can tell you something about being jobless though. I thought the same as you but now I can say with experience that it isn't any good at all. I wouldn't ever had believed it until now that it happened but it's true. I wish you good luck and godspeed my friend 🙂
One of the biggest misconception is : People think they feel good because they have achieved a goal... When in truth, we feel good when the desire, the tension between us and our goal has disappeared. We suffer because we think we miss things to be happy, when it's all there already.
That's BS. You become happy once you escape suffering. If your armor means you no longer have bruises and bleeding all over, that's happy. If it means you can finally explore those caves and dangerous islands that got you killed before, then you happily go exploring. In life if you finally have shelter that you don't have to share with people that ruin your life, that's happiness, peace and quiet. If you can finally afford to not be hungry and take care of your health, finally have the time for cooking and self-care, that's happiness. If you finally have time and possibility of talking to girls, whereas before you were surrounded only by guys in the engineering department, then that's a happy life, messaging girls, going out, having conversations. You obtain something, achieve something through hard work and sacrifice, and then finally enjoy happiness. All these people saying happiness is now, I guess they didn't grow up in poverty and chaos.
@@hufficag What @shilombaba says should imply that you need a basic material and financial security, to have the capacity to appreciate living in the present. Ofc it is very hard to be homeless and truly happy but you can live in a comfy apartment, pursue projects with a certain goal and not think "when I finally can afford that big house I will be happy", creating that unnecessary unfulfilled desire. In reality so many people have material comfort and also some time to do things they like, yet they feel empty because they have no projects and just fill their emptiness with quick pleasure and dream about even bigger things to buy.
Exactly, the past is gone, and the future is not here. What matters is to enjoy and feel the present moment. I think a lot of frustration and unhappiness comes from that competitive, goal-oriented mindset of the author '25 years realization' and not being mindful with ourselves. We feel like we need to fill something, to fill an emptiness, because we think we are not enough in that moment.
This video perfectly reflects the reality many people face. The same thing happened to me. I thought that when I bought my first house, I would be very happy. However, the truth is, I ended up feeling an emptiness because I no longer had a big goal to work towards. I then bought a second house and felt exactly the same. It was only a few years later that I realized the power of NOW is the most important thing of all. It was in that conscious moment that I understood how valuable the present is-the ability to feel the freedom of doing what I truly wanted and being aware of everything in each moment. Today, as I approach 40, I have finally come to this realization, though it took me 15 years to do so. Make the most of your time now. Set goals, yes, but live in the present, and you will surely find happiness.
One of the biggest lies we're told is the lie of purpose. Life has no purpose, life IS the purpose. Happiness is something that comes from within, you cannot find it in the outside world. Purpose is a mind set, not a goal. You do things for a purpose because YOU made a choice. It's YOU who defines the value of things/experiences/etc. It's YOU who decides.
@@Esico6 Listen to "Is there no God?" to see where you go wrong. :P Sounds like a silly suggestion/comment, eh? Well, it is exactly on par with your "logic". Read a book to find the meaning of life or listen to song or sign up for some lesson. Get real. Go out and touch some grass.
@@CallowG I only recently saw with clarity, how it really wouldn't help me to be happy. I wanted to have sex with my wife, and suddenly I realized that if I had ten million dollars, that would still be all I wanted to do, and the money in the bank wouldn't have made the tiniest difference. There is just no way to buy these moments. Sure, I could buy some nice stuff, but stuff tends to make me depressed once I have it. It only promises to make me happy while I still dream about it (that's exactly the "best gear" problem), but when it's there, I feel so empty about it (I did it too often with cameras). I could go on a nice holiday in a nice hotel, and I would like that, but I seriously doubt that would make me happier than a cheap place to stay. Who I'm with and what I do makes so much more of a difference. Even the weather would make more of a difference to my happiness. That being said, I am convinced that being really poor can make you really unhappy. There is a verse in Proverbs in the Bible where the writer asks God to protect him from both poverty and riches. I think that is wise. Both can make you unhappy.
@@CallowG true. when i have money, i have freedom. i have less worries. something breaks? no problem, i can fix it or have it fixed or replaced. bills? 5 minutes online, click, click, click, paid. being broke is stressssfffuuullll
Best analogy I can think of is a man restoring a classic car from dereliction to brand new condition. When it is done, the journey is over. It was only ever about the journey, saving the car, making new friends to help, the satisfaction of replacing worn and rusting parts with new. Learning new skills. That first drive when restored, the admiration of other enthusiasts. Then what happens. The man can only admire his work for so long, there is nothing more to do, and the car is sold. What does he do?...he buys another wreck, and so the journey begins again, different this time, because he has learned so much on the previous journey. All of life is like this. Happiness is short lived. So is contentedness. It is meant to be so. It is the only way the soul can grow.
"Emotion is energy in motion" - a saying that's been around for some time. The doing, the moving, the failing and the achieving are wha cause emotions. This is good- chase the positive emotion that will come with achievement. Then move towards that achievement.
To the extent that somebody is enjoying the process of self improvement then there is nothing wrong. Unfortunately, many people seek forms of "self improvement" that are in fact destructive, and the means by which they see to achieve their goals are also destructive. Many western-oriented goals are destructive, if not to oneself than at least to the environment and future generations. The goal of doing something just to make somebody else jealous, for example, is a terrible goal.
After 12 cars he find himself bored. It becomes a job. A job that keeps you busy. Its about peace. Deep inner peace beyond your own understanding. From that happiness will follow but happiness will come and go. You cannot hold happiness, its like a cloud when you hold it it will disappear.
In my experience, I realize that there is no single point you can reach that guarantees ultimate happiness forever. Life is full of ups and downs; it always depends on the circumstances you are facing, and you have to learn how to deal with those situations. Although "life is defined as the series of choices you make," even if you do your best, you never know what comes next. Imagine you have your dream job and dream partner, you have the best routine, and then, suddenly, you get into an accident, or a close one passes away. You have to learn how to deal with the circumstances and do your best.
Incorrect. Is the anticipation of an orgasm (the reward) more powerful than the orgasm itself? Not even close. Any drug that forces an abnormally high release of endorphins will be always a more powerful reward than any anticipation can be. The true reward is not dopamine, but the activation intensity of the μ-opiod receptor. Therefore the correct phrase should say: "The anticipation of the reward can sometimes be more pleasurable than the reward itself."
you sure about that? Because I think its the opposite, one basic example: Most people love having money but most ppl hate to work because most ppl do work because they have to not because they want to but because they must to to survive and have money. In life its all like that, what you want its only important to you but not the the other people, other ppl who doesnt know you or even if they do you arent important to them arent going to care about your goals or your dreams. We arent living in the 50s or the 60s anymore, most ppl are indebt, companies are paying shitty wages and everything is so fucking expensive that it doesnt matter really if you do have a job because even if you do you are most likely going to end up living with your parents or sharing an apartment with strangers. Your happiness isnt really in your head, things from outside are going to afect you and if you dont fight or dont have the warrior actitude you are never going to be happy because other ppl will always stomp you over.
@@robertorpg2132dude why you think people like elon just don't retire despite having infinite money? They still work for their goal new inventions and innovations and new companies new businesses. I believe these people have this mentality of life is journey not a destination
My wife has never understood my penchant for taking up new hobbies and interests. This video explains it perfectly. I'm always setting new goals for myself. Meanwhile she laments all the things she hadn't done in life, but just wants to complain about and never sets new goals.
Wow that's my wife too, so confused and annoyed I try new things. Women like to sit around and waste time talking about people, who is doing what and why. That's all they care about
Kidz! A joy to see all the new and exciting ways my woman engages in to be something for those glorious little brats she paid for with her body, and at times nearly her life to bring into this world. And so I stand back...keep my mitts outta her kitchen(!). I as a man could not have done this kid thing for 5 minutes.
That's me, when I was a broke student, I always dreamed of buying things when I got a job, but now that I've bought those things, I still feel empty.. :/ The anticipation of those things was much better.
Try putting the emotions you put on the anticipation of those things onto being a minimalist. We create our emotions for 'things'. We have been programmed that way. Watch Nero Knowledge or Neville Goddard ❤❤❤❤
You can learn also to appriate the things you have achieved, I've bought myself a watch, I've saving for months, althoght i already want another more expensive one, i enjoy wearing this, i enjoy looking at it, i'm proud of myself, my hard work and discipline to buy it, and not to spend on some other things like alcohol or girls or things like that
That I've found out in one of my psychedelic trips. We humans are purpose machines. Only u can give yourself purpose. Happiness is a state of mind. It's a short ride, just enjoy it.
I’ve never felt more challenged in life than the day I was in a refugee camp on the Thailand/Burma border. As I walked toward a bamboo hut, I heard 50 orphans, who saw their parents murdered and village burned by the Burmese Army, singing worship songs. Tears were rolling down my cheeks knowing these children had nothing but were full of joy. I had everything but possessed little joy. A transformation took place in my life where I began to live way below my means so I could give to meet the needs of children who had nothing. That was 15 years ago. It truly is better to give than to receive.
beautiful. Rich or poor, disabled or athletic, I believe if we can express our values in life, we're painting a picture that others can see. This might be a picture that people hate, or that people love. It's our choice what we paint, but making others happy truly brings some level of contentment. Good luck on your journey man!
The true giving comes from the sence of overflow. This way it happens automatically. There is nothing we can do about it. We're just called to do that.
I fall into this trap a lot. I brood in my room about how much I don't like my current situation, or any of the people I have around me. When I'm out and have to focus on the outside events instead of being in my head, I don't feel hatred towards anything. I'll go as far as to say I'm actually enjoying most interactions even though I am an introvert at my core. I wish I could remain in the now and not obsess over my ideals for how things should have always been.
Since retiring three years ago, I’ve noticed how much my goals have changed, which I think is something most retirees can relate to. In our younger years, we chase success and experiences, but once we reach a certain stage, it’s financial security and health that really take over. Looking back, I don’t regret the fast-paced years of work and life, but I see now how critical it is to build a solid foundation when you're employable. Without that, retirement could easily become a struggle, especially with inflation making things even tighter these days. Moving out of the city to stretch my savings has been a big part of this shift, and it’s made me realize how important it is to work smart when you're younger because once you reach this stage, your needs and priorities will look very different.
I can relate to your concern. I’m approaching retirement myself, and after starting late with investing, I initially thought my ETF portfolio would carry me through. But it wasn’t growing fast enough, and I felt stuck. It wasn’t until I worked with a financial advisor and restructured everything that I finally felt on track. Now, I’m set to retire with around $4 million, without that guidance, I don’t think I’d feel nearly as confident
I’m still figuring out my portfolio strategy and how to make the most of it. Did you find your advisor through a recommendation, or did you research on your own? I’m realizing that it might be what I’m missing
Finding the right financial advisor is such a personal decision, and what works for one person won’t necessarily fit for everyone. That said, I can say Emily Ava Milligan’s approach was a turning point for me. Unlike a lot of one-size-fits-all advice, she took the time to understand my goals, needs, and situation. I could see how her strategy shifted based on what mattered most to me, not just market trends. It's worth at least checking her out, you might find her style aligns with what you're looking for
Amazing how you worked your whole life and were not able to find an advisor until someone mentioned a name in a youtube comment, and then you blindly decided on that one.
I achieved financial freedom 3 years ago when I turned 30. Never thought it will come so quickly. And never thought that I will feel like that character with full armor just standing there alone not knowing what to do next. Lost in the deep nothingness of existence and lack of meaning. And whenever I start to dream again to think what else I want to achieve- I become alive again. Very good lesson and video. Thank you!
I challenge you to use some of the financial freedom to solve some problems. Maybe start in your local area/town? I would love to have just a little more cash so that I could build affordable low-cost housing for purchase or rent for our local residents.
The guy that created Minecraft sold it for $2,000,000,000. He said after that he had no need to make anything anymore. He had no incentive to spend effort to create. He couldn't even enjoy a lot of his money, because he couldn't just go to Ibiza and call all his friends to join them because they were all at work.
@@brendensangster3571So there is a goal after all then. But I think it is still flawed to think it is always about fears. I am for example trying to lose weight and achive better endurance/fitness. Not because I fear something but because I want.
"Stop watching RUclipsrs who offer advice because they only want to sell you an ideal image. They post photos near the pool with a cute baby and a nice house to make you believe that their advice works. This is nonsense because constantly striving for goals is exhausting. True happiness comes from finding contentment in all aspects of your life." Not by setting yourself yet more goals. I am now 50 years old, and I'm happy I am done. Life is all about making precious memories now with my husband and my children and close family and friends. Making the most of the time I have left with the people I love.
Yes, I am done because we've reached the goals that we set when we were just married. We agreed that when we achieved everything we wanted, it's now time to focus on making memories, enjoying the life we've built together, and watching our adult children build their lives. I can understand why you are feeling burnt out at 44; this happened to my husband. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves that we burn out. Focus on the things you love and build your life around them. Try to gradually cut back. I don't know your circumstances, but you need to be honest with yourself and set yourself on a path that's right for you. Even just taking a timeout gives you time to work things out and focus on the rest of your life. You mustn't try to push past it. You'll end up having a breakdown. Please take some time for yourself, whether it's a weekend, it doesn't matter. Most importantly, talk to your partner or your family about how you're feeling. You're a team and you work together.
yes this guy is so close to grasping important ideas and yet also missing the main point, setting goals and working towards them on a day to day basis will not bring you happiness. and neither will fantasizing about this "dream life" that he describes, he is still caught in this illusion that he thought he escaped
This hits home as a musician. I’ve been playing guitar and piano for over 2 decades and I’ve finally realized that I need to stop comparing myself to others and just enjoy playing for myself. If others enjoy what I play and create, then thats a really cool bonus. Enjoy the Journey people, the best you can. God Bless from 🇺🇸✝️🗽🎸
Same here. I tell people I’m a professional amateur. I don’t think I’m that great but I have played with certain musicians and they were pretty impressed at my originality because most of the stuff I play is my own creativity. I met a cobbler then other day , hes 84 yesrs old and looks exactly ljke Albert Einstein. He had a dobro and a 1971 Ovation hanging in his shop. I asked about them and he told me the story behind them and after some wonderful stories he asked me if I wanted to try the ovation because he cant play it any longer but loves how it sounds. His fingers hurt and he shakes too bad to play it so he slides on the dobro. So I played him a couple of my favorite original tunes after tweaking the tuning into shape. He bad the biggest grin and said “I don’t think this guitar had ever been played so beautifully in its entire life.” I laughed it off and then asked him if he knew this one and I played ELP’s “From the beginning” and he was like “Oh yeah I know this song.” I stopped playing and said “Thjs is where I stop unless you have a Hammond B-3 organ warmed up and ready.” Super cool guy….he used to play in a traveling band for a major hotel chain. Can’t wait to pick up my leather jacket from him because I’m gonna surprise him with my own custom Ovation.
@@Wookinpanub235 -Great life Story! I appreciate you sharing it. Lol Whats really cool is my first guitar was an ovation acoustic electric. I have that guitar still to this day 22+years later. 🎸💪😁 I’m glad that you could make someone else happy with the gift of music. It truly does soothe the soul. Take care friend. 🎹✌️🎸
Maybe that’s why people with ADHD, myself included, can sometimes struggle with feelings of depression. We often get distracted quickly and lose interest in things we were once super excited about, always chasing that next source of dopamine. It can be really hard to stick with one thing long enough to fully invest time and effort into it. The idea that happiness comes from having goals and working towards them makes sense, but for those of us with ADHD, staying focused on a long-term goal can feel almost impossible at times. This constant cycle of wanting to commit but being unable to maintain that focus can be frustrating and disheartening.
This way of living is one of living with a mind that is wired for dopamine seeking. It's the life of a hunter that is always seeking, chasing, and looking for the next target/goal.
Yes! Been going through this for years. I think that maybe i should stop limiting myself and rather have too many goals all at once in a chaotic adhd hype than not be able to commit because i can't choose one. Maybe we need to throw ourselves in the deep end after al.
ADD here. My tip would be to read “the power of now” and even though it is very very hard for me to be present to the moment, I have somehow learned to mix it in with my mindstate and not be depressed for a very long time. It’s hard to explain but there are also great stories that explain this idea. Vagabond, Vinland saga for example. And oh, shrooms where a game changer but be careful with that
“Life is happening now-not at the finish line. Joy and fulfillment don’t wait at the end; they live in the progress you make each day. Every move forward is a victory in itself, so embrace it-embrace today, for this is where life truly unfolds.“ - me (:
You are a great motivational speaker. You should take that up and get paid for it. Thank you so much. You might just have saved my life. I suffer from stage 5 kidney disease (CKD), I have HIV and diabetes. I have also just already had heart valve replacement. I have never smoked or taken drugs in my life yet, I've become very sick at an age of just 54. I have been on the verge of ending it all but, I came across your video and it has really made me think. Again, thank you.
Many people believe " when I get this new car.....this new house.....a great job...than I'll be happy". Feel happy NOW. I think about a happy event in my life......until I FEEL happy. And I sit there as long as possible in this happy feeling. It works......for ME😊
You will feel a lot happier with lots of money, that new car, that new house and that great job. Don't let the wealthy try to trick you into thinking money doesn't help with happiness, because it does. It removes many of the daily survival worries that people with little money have.
An even higher form of happiness, is not looking outward and to the future or what you can accomplish, but looking inward and to the present moment. This is a game changer. Looking at your thoughts, your beliefs, your emotions. And meditating in the now. The present now. We are human beings not human doings. If you shift your focus to feeling content by looking inward then you can learn to be anywhere and feel peace or joy. You can love to just sit still because you feel oneness. Accomplishing does bring dopamine increases, but it's very future focus.
Yes you are right, stil life can be alot better if you have stuff in order and it can add alot of meaning with people around you and being able to afford to go places and experience experiences I thought working towards a goal gives serotonin and feelings of meaning, not just dopamine
I have traveled the world and you know what I learned? That nothing is more valuable than knowing oneself. Thank you very much for this, you are a blessing
Not if you hate the work you are relegated to. I’m in my 43rd year of being a lawyer and I’ve been miserable pretty much the entire time. I still am. I’ll retire in a couple of months. It’s going to be better right? I doubt it seriously.
@@maxsparks5183I don't know any lawyer that doesn't have a good wage, so you must've done it for a reason and that reason was probably money. We all have to pay the price of what could've been to be able to go through that one path we in that moment wanted the most. Furthermore, regrets are just logical fallacies, since your brain can only work in a "the grass is greener on the other side" way of comparisons
Men(and women) should know that success isn't built on success. It's built on failure and frustration, and on fear that you have to overcome. That's what the e-book called Unveiling Your Hidden Potential' by Bruce Thornwood taught me. The best read I ever had.
I agree for the most part but I have realized that some people are a lot better at contentment. Achievers are addicts if you try to derive happiness from the goal posts. I believe achievements can generate tremendous meaning but happiness and contentment comes from loving yourself and enjoying the now. Some achievers are depressed but somehow my old mother who had a hard life and only reads and makes dinner is the happiest person I know.
"Achievers are addicts". The exact reason why this is the case is because achievers are fundamentally built different and their state of mind and world perception is on an entirely different level. I would give myself the freedom to label this phenomenon as pathological narcissistic disorder (NPD). The narcissist is fundamentally unable to genuinely experience the emotions of joy, content, happiness, etc. There is only the chase of power and control and fueling on other people's emotions. This manifests on many different levels from the most basic essential to the most sophisticated complex tasks. When you realize this, you will realize that these types of people do not function as the rest.
@@mzefic achievers are just npcs that follow instructions without asking thmselves if grinding towards that goal is actually worth their time, no critical thinking whatsoever
I'm currently 24 and I'm glad I watched this video. I was stuck with that belief that I will be happier after achieving my goals. I'd like to thank you for making this video, for letting me realize this during the early stages of my life. I needed this more than you will ever know. God bless you for helping many people and keep up with the great content!
Coming from someone just a little bit older than you, keep this in your back pocket because there will be times you forget this and need a fresh reminder.
Looking back. He is right. You are happiest when you consistently work towards you goals, you occupy your mind, working towards projects, getting knowledge, experience, live “now”/present and of course being young adds a vibe to it.
It's not about being happy, but the content of surviving preferably with loved ones not too distant - my story anyway. Hoping your struggles will soon abate. God bless.
Sam Harris wrote a book around a decade ago called Spirituality where he hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff. Basically, the bizarre lies we tell ourselves as we pursue satisfaction. Once i get the renovation job done i can relax. Once i paint the fence that will be it. I just need X, Y, and Z. But no matter what it is, it is always FLEETING. It doesnt last. We end up back at the start. One quote i remembered from this part of the book that convinced me his insight is right is, "Each of us is looking for a path back to the present, we are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied NOW."
I love your insights. One of the best things I've ever done is to hang a sign with a simple message on the wall above my desk, where I see it every morning. It says: "WHAT CAN I DO TO SEIZE TODAY?" Asking myself that sets the tone for my day.
Yes,but 88% of people will not meet that person and settle for Right now Person or nice house with children person.Its very hard to actually meet perfect match.
Right. Achieving goals is a symptom of the enjoyment of pursuing them. It's about process, not product. This is why people who mainly want the product often fail to get it.
I am amazed to see that not many people are missing that connecting with nature and being out in the world will make you feel so much better than being inside the gym or playing video games. Also helping others and kindness is more rewarding than you can even imagine. There are so many ways to volunteer and hey you might meet a girl who is more about liking you for you, rather than for you money or muscles. But each to their own.
100% So true!!! I think that both genders have become misdirected. You seem to be totally on from, spot on, and in the zone! Where do you live!? Im in Canada!
Happiness is a fickle visitor that you are occasionally blessed with. If you are happy appreciate it because it will fade away quickly. It is better to seek fulfillment, because that is long blasting and has deep meaning. Play always improving and always growing that is the way
Goals are important. But its not the moment of reaching them that counts, but the time you spend to invest in yourself, your body and your mental health while walking that path towards those goals. You should always expect another goal you need to work for after reaching the one you've set yourself before. The essence of all of this above is: Standstill makes one depressed and gives you the feeling of unimportance in life. But change and motion are the natural cycles of everything. A tree needs to shed its leaves in order to survive and grow. And a goose needs to travel across continents every season to find a place where it can thrive. Remember, do whatever makes you happy. But whenever you end up in a standstill, dont wait for things to change, because they wont. The only one who can free you from standstill is you. Thats what i've learned from many years of depression and it resulting in a standstill.
Live in the moment. This is really good advice. As a gamer, I know what you’re talking about. The game becomes empty once you’ve beat it or there’s nothing to work towards anymore.
once i reached max level in WoW i was so so so depressed, like I can't believe I just wasted all that time and for what, what was the purpose, and the worst part is I kept playing more videogames after that, I still play videogames. It's like what is the point of achieving goals, anyways, i just want a reason to live, a small simple reason, like love, but of course love is impossible to find, and god does not help me though i've begged and cried for years
Pursuit of fitness and health is an awesome open ended passion that adds greatly to *every* other aspect of life. Once you gain exceptional fitness you can work on maintaining it. The self confidence, respect from others, and quality of life enhancements are like having a permabuff but in real life. Well worth the effort.
hmm no, because you'll end inevitably and all of this effort wouldve been for naught. it cant be your ultimate goal. there are goals that are more important
@@motan7864that logic can be applied to literally anything "This too shall pass" is a phrase older than most nations alive today for more than one reason
Happyness is a birthright, I see it in my kids daily, I used to experience it all the time as a kid. It's the piling on of external stimuli and sometimes, responsibility and pressure that's inauthentic, that has blinded me from my initial happyness. It's been helpful to reconnect with what was making me happy as a kid. None of that was about goals. It was about enjoyment of authentic curiosity, like music and watching insects. Which unconciously lead to wanting to learn more and reading up on them. Or just doing nothing and watching the clouds. Being in the moment, really. No not even mindfulness, just emerging yourself in something you enjoy. From that alone, you'll already learn a lot. I had no specific "goals" necessarely as a saxophone player, other than: "hey, that sounds extremely beautiful, let's join in on that till it clicks". And now I get to teach my kids about insects and they love it too😊.
I am 68 and I wish to share that our goals change, as we achieve our goals, new ones become meaningful. As a retiree, I don’t regret the intense times of my life, but I certainly enjoy the results by being stress free, having a nice caring healthy family and enjoying financial security. It’s important to work during the years that we are employable, it is a limited time we have to make the best of it because we only have one life and if we miss the boat, retirement might be difficult especially if financial means and health are main issues.
@@WhatEver-si7kt he can afford a nice place to live and can spend for his health, and hobbies, while having a loving family, what else you can need? and these years should be the current best years, to some extent money is needed to have a solid and calm foundation of happiness
@@baxeelelle Not at all, cause at 68 you can't do the same things that you were able to do when you were young, you live once, you can be young 1 time.
My grandpa always said: its not the destination, its the journey that matters. Your actions and inactions, failures and victories that makes the difference. I never understood that until just when coof hit.
Im currently 21 years old. Im not rich, im not jacked, i don’t have a girlfriend. Im working on myself in every way I can, and at times I get lost in the thought of the future. Or that the past should’ve been different. Instead of appreciating the present. Thank you for the reminder. 🙏🏽
"The thing about happiness is, you only know you had it when it's gone. You may think to yourself that you're happy, but you don't really believe it..." Kellogg - Fallout 4
That's some B's you know exactly when you happy or when not it's just that people don't take the time to really ask rhemself.. simple ask yourself on the end of a day was that a day that you would like to happen again if yes it was a good day you happy if not ask yourself what part of the day you don't want to live again and try to change it easy concept
Sorry, that’s total BS! Had times (not moments but days and years) where I felt so blessed I couldn’t believe. Be honest with yourself and others (!!!) put in effort and show respect and it’s all love!
Exactly. Humans are funny that way; actively doing things is what gives us purpose and makes us happy. We're like worker ants who need to keep piling stuff onto the anthill, otherwise we just don't know what to do, and not knowing what to do makes us depressed. It's been like this forever, it's the reason our species has gone from living naked in caves to walking on the moon and sending satellites beyond the borders of our solar system. We tie the worth of our very existense into doing and experiencing things.
I think the problem stems from being constantly focused outwardly and outside of ourselves. I felt financially starved for most of my life. Then, it changed, I achieved my goals, and was able to get everything I ever wanted and then some. And while it was nice it became empty and over time I lost interest in my nice things. It always loses its sparkle. I think the problem lies in having our attention constantly focused on the material world. In the end it’s always empty. Feels like it’s not real.
I'm feeling this at the moment. After three and a half years I finally have a unit I can call my own. It's clean, it's modern. Nothing needs fixing, nothing needs upgrading, nothing needs to be done. While I am managing to keep myself occupied by buying some of the furniture and bits and pieces needed, I find myself in need of a new goal.
This video is exactly what I needed to see. I lost the love of my life a couple nights ago and it was for this very reason. I was fat and shy in high school, so senior year I got this immense drive to better myself. Lost all the weight, gained so much muscle that strangers would compliment me, I took a serving job so I could force myself to socialize daily. I stuck with that for years and finally, I got the most beautiful and smart girlfriend in the world and it literally felt like my life’s work was complete the day I asked her to be mine. It only took a week before I felt like something was off. 2 years later I found myself bitter, angry, unhappy, I didn’t know why I was unhappy when I had everything I ever wanted, so I blamed her (she was starting to get crappy to me and not treat me the best, but I didn’t realize it was because I had become so stagnant in life) :/ I tried so hard to make her see that it was all her fault and I didn’t even realize it was mine. I stopped trying, I thought I had it all. Now that she’s gone I can’t believe how wrong I was. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, please. If you’re unhappy in a relationship, take a step back and really ask yourself why before it’s too late. Luckily this realization has given me the realization that I need to better myself again, day one complete and I feel better already
just wow.. thank you for sharing your beautiful heart that way.. i am so sad about what happened to you- and the way you described her is the very truth of her with zero doubt -I can feel your pain and hers too .. please know you can love and be loved and be in-love again and will never need to repeat this lesson now that you have learned it at this time at this cost.. well done Sir .. well done and you should consider becoming an inspirational speaker/writer to young men and women especially - your authenticity is moving, and inspiring and your insights are so on point- you have become the kind of man all women dream of having xo
@@sonjaninja you brought tears to my eyes reading this. I just hope I can help someone who’s currently making the same mistakes I did. I took her to dinner last night and told her my newfound realizations. It was so beautiful and full of tears. In the end she thought I was going to ask for her back, but I know now I’m not ready. I still have some growing to do. I’m always going to have to live with the regret of messing up the best thing I’ve ever had
Find something to transform or create, because creation, and life itself, wants to work on you. At some point at a high level of wisdom, Life slowly let’s go of its position as teacher and likewise your position of student and they switch. You teach life what you believe to be true. And maybe Life learns something from you.
I think a lot of people are like that, but there's people who are also just "content"... I have a job, but I also play video games and don't have a GF, and I'm not looking for one actively... and I'm content... I like coming home and unwinding and not looking for the "next goal"... I don't chase goals, I live in the moment... I do what I feel like doing now :)
Deep down, I think I already knew this, but it's great to hear it explained so clearly. While it might not apply to everyone, it definitely resonates with me. If I don't have something to aim for, I feel a sense of emptiness. What I believe Rob is saying here isn’t "stop chasing goals and just be content," but rather "understand what truly makes you happy and embrace it." For me, that happiness comes from constantly setting and achieving new challenges. When I accomplish one, I need to create another-otherwise, I’m left wondering, “Why do I feel empty when I have so much?” For example, I’m currently planning to build a workshop. I don’t know much about construction, and it would be easier to hire someone. But financially, that would set me back. By learning the skills and doing it myself, I’m not only working toward my goal of paying off the house in 15 years, but I’ll also have a space where I can continue learning and creating. Each goal I achieve opens the door to new ones, keeping that "achievement-driven" part of me fulfilled. Great video, Rob!
I think there is a big societal illusion that we have to "be happy", otherwise we failed in life. We're perpetually taught that "happiness" is the ultimate goal. But I think happiness is only a short-lived thing of a moment. A long-term and much more realistic and permanent goal is contentment that arises from life circumstances that give us a feeling of safety and calm. This can be through a more or less stable job, a loving partner, or financial independence, etc. Modesty and simplicity are also keys to contentment; the less you need, the less you miss.
I think that today's times strongly encourage living for oneself and realizing one's own plans. Of course, one's own happiness is the most important, even at the expense of the happiness of others. I am afraid, however, that the purpose of our lives is not self-fulfillment but cooperation with others, acceptance of what we have no influence on, the ability to give up one's own egoism. I think that life is a dry wine not a happy meal.
Still nope... Most of these comments are missing something crucial... I will tell you, but it won't matter. Most people will just think I am a fool and simply never give what I am saying a try... I have everything you just mentioned (pretty much)... I very comfortable life, a well paying remote job, a wonderful husband 2 fantastic children, a very nice home, I believe I am fairly attractive with a nice and healthy body... Even with all of this, there was STILL something missing... I found what it was... Or, rather... It found me... He found me... Jesus... He is actually real... Like for REAL real... All of those crazy Christians babbling on street corners were right and I ignored them my WHOLE life. Now I finally get it... I finally have everything I ever needed... I thought chasing all the good things in life would make me feel joyful and complete... There is no way to be truly whole without God... I hope one day you all find what I did... To this day even my husband doesn't believe It is so sad to have found this awesome treasure and have everyone just look at me like I am being silly... What could have made this drastic change in my point of view?! This didn't come from nowhere, I'm not crazy... Such a shame that most people still won't see what is right in front of them... Bless you all and I hope you find what I did!
@@kendals3833 Religion is important to many, yet I don't believe in 2000 year-old fairy tales. I would even be inclined to believe if there were more "signs" that god actually exists. The soup is too thin for me. Moreover, the world is a horrendous unfair brutal mess, and has always been. If god does exist, he's either not good, or not almighty. Also, humanity has believed in more than 5000 gods over time, so which one is the one to be selected? Why didn't you select eg, Allah instead?
@@kendals3833 it is true, but it's mostly joyful in the beginning. With time, there comes treils, temptations, oppressions, doubts, and feelings of lack of God protection. It's not an easy ride. Christianity is a narrow path and spiritual warfair most of the time. when it's too easy, you doing something wrong, you lukewarm, or you still didn't deny yourself in the name of Jesus. sorry to burst your bubble of newly born Christian.
Amazing video and strong message 💪🏻 To me this means in a summary to always have a goal to work on, but at the same time to live in the moment and ENJOY it to the fullest.
I have had many times when I felt completely content and had no real worries. It felt like bliss just taking a walk. The reason? I had time and freedom. I was young and still had time to build the future of my dreams. Everything I dreamt of was possbile. Now, I am middle aged and most of my dreams are not possible anymore. Doors have closed. Women I dreamt of aren't attractive anymore. Women I am attracted to are too young (early 20s). That brings a sense of sadness to me.
Wise words, wonderful. And the best things in life are free. Go for a hike, spent time in nature. Pick up a nice hobby, meet friends. And be thankful to be healthy and don't take it for granted.
I "cheat" the system by writing. Once I finish one story, I think of another, then another and so on. Got one book published already. I always have the goal of another story to be written in the future. Therefore I'll never feel like there's nothing more to achieve. Find you own "cheat code" to continously keep doing throghout your whole life and you'll be saved.
You need to understand how the mind works, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin etc. Morgan house said in is book that "when we get something that we want, we feel that pleasure, but after some time that pleasure faiths away. In other words, your mind Seattle the bar higher and higher and higher, therefore you can't achieve eternal satisfaction in this world. This is the game of life, progressing and riching the soul. But what the soul really wants? That's something you need to ask yourself. Probably you will never find the real answer for that. I would say that the first step is to unplug yourself from the society we live the known matrix. Maybe your goals right now, have been kind of manipulated by our society or parents, teachers etc. Ask yourself is this what I truly want or is something that has been programmed in my subconscious mind. Love you all ❤
Sounds super self-helpy and unhelpful imo. The reason we constantly even want things to begin with is because Capitalism and modern society has taught us to chase dopamine, constantly being entertained and never contemplating life. The solution to any of this is to simply stop being an achievment subject and start living a contemplative life. You talk about how our minds are programmed aswell, but you fail to see that exactly everything we do, or experience will program us, regardless of which subject in the Lacanian symbolic order is causing this. Without experience, we are a husk, what we truly want independantly of any experience are basic human instincts, and I don't think we lived for this long trying to transcend our basic human instincts to return to them. Instead, maybe it would be a good idea to choose which experiences mold your idea of life? Philosophy is a good start, and not dogshit philosophy like the book you mentioned, I mean academic philosophy.
My advice is to develop a growth mindset and be willing to learn from your failures. I learned this from a book called 'Chase No More: The Path To Success'. It talks about how using some secret techniques you can attract almost anything and anyone in life. Probably the best book I read about being a modern man, and building success and wealth.
Inner peace leads to happiness. Yes, improve your life and challenge yourself. But also work on your spiritual journey. Meditation, Qi Gong, Nei Gong, Nei Dan, Yoga, Tai Chi Chuan, Advaita Vedanta, KörperIntelligenz. are the names of some tools you can learn and use transform yourself 😊
My dad passed away 5 years ago at 82. Months before he died he shared something with me. "Always be dreaming about your next project, whatever it is. Because the moment you stop dreaming you're just waiting to die."
A week before he passed we were talking about how he could create a RUclips channel to talk about his bookstore and his collection.
Nothing wrong with carrying on the old mans dream, if, when and where, you have the time aside from your own
Wise words! RIP Dad
It is like when you read a book or watch a movie or play a game, you wanna get to the end, but when you get to the end you're sad it's over. A man's story or game needs to be over many chapters, and many books in a saga, til he dies.
No offense but this sounds like the opposite of what this guy is trying to say. He is saying be happy WITHOUT achieving your next dream. ACCEPTING who you are right now. Ie...you are enough as is.
Personally I follow your Dad's philosophy more
Omgggg that's amazing
"I wish there was a way to know you were in the good old days before you actually left them" ~~ Andy (Office)
One thing I really worked on was recognizing "hey remember that time when..." moments while they are happening. I'm glad I figured it out. It's a game-changer.
There’s a saying: These are the days you’ll miss in 20 years.
What would you do differently if you did realize it while it was happening?
@@artugert Very minor changes, that at the time didn't feel much. Some plans, get togethers, requests, which I had denied thinking there'll be plenty of time for it later on... Only there wasn't.
Perhaps I should have said more "Yes" than "No"s when there was still time.
That's the problem with time, we always think there'll be plenty of it later on.
True that.
my life changed when i realize that i cant get, buy, lose or attain nothing more valuable than myself
Amazing
Tears of joy
❤ if only everyone realised that life itself is more important than..... material things etc ❤
Excellent comment. I just copied that and put it in my journal. You made a contribution today in my life. Thanks!
Narcis alert!
Peace is far more important than happiness when you get old. When you find peace, happiness is the natural state.
PLEASE, you, and EVERYONE, if you haven't already, embrace the One True Only God YHWH Jehovah, Only One Jesus Christ His Only Begotten Son and Lord and Savior of our souls and the Only One Holy Spirit. God is good. God is love. Jesus is Lord! Jesus IS coming. Your soul depends on it!
I have seen God act in my life. He saved my soul, changed my heart, changed my mind, helped people through me, took care of people in my life, people I hurt before I found God. God is the only reason I was able to reconcile with my dad before he died.
God worked through Jesus Christ to save our souls. Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. Believe in your heart and confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus, and that God raised Him from the dead and you will be saved. Be baptized in The Holy Spirit, and if He wills, water as well. Repent of your sins, accept God, Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit into your heart, that Jesus Christ died on the cross for your sins.
For God so loved the world that He gave His only Begotten Son Jesus Christ, that all who believe on Him shall not perish but have eternal life. Jesus Christ is The Way, The Truth and The Life. No one comes to the Father Jehovah God but through Him.
Not long after I got saved I prayed to God for help understanding the Holy Bible, and that same day someone knocked on my door asking me if I wanted to understand the Bible. I have had times where I was thinking about Holy Bible quotes and have stumbled across them flipping through The Holy Bible at random the same/next day. God is here for you if you let Him guide you.
The Holy Bible says, "love thy enemy", "turn the other cheek", "If your enemy is hungry, feed him", "if he is thirsty, give him a drink", "pray for those who persecute you", "do not repay evil for evil".
LORD willing, all humans may commit sin of almost every kind (gay, straight), and that's wrong, and all humans sin, as God tells us through the The Holy Bible, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." The Holy Bible also says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.", "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." and, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses."
Both are same
It is not peace though. When you achieve peace, you are free from emotion.
But, overall, I agree with your statement.
@@нєманрсь What if you have peace now but you miss the old days with it's big ups and downs?
A game is fun when you play it, not when it ends.
When you *keep on* playing it! Literally forever. In fact: "Play-Love" is a long neglected part of the 6-fold definition of "love" bequeathed to us by the Ancient Greeks.
...just sayin.
A bro.
Not if it's designed against you actually winning at it.
Same is…..life !
@@WhatEver-si7kt that's why you stop caring about winning, or stop thinking "i can only have fun if i'm winning", and just try to enjoy it how it's going (aka making the best of what you got). Goals drive you forward but at one point you should realize the carrot on the stick is not made to be obtained, so you either stop chasing after it or you try to see if there's something meaningful in the chase itself, beyond the carrot. Or you try your hardest to get it, and you do get it, but idk you'd probably realize it wasn't worth it when you get there.
This is of course in the context of unreasonable goals, reasonable goals can very much be achieved even if they're difficult so you should still stick with them, this is not an excuse to roll over and do nothing whatsoever.
What class in WoW are you playing the most?
Early 30s dude here, achieved all I wanted, married, decent middle class job, bought my dream car, here I am, depressed, watching videos of other depressed men, sold my car, hate my job, feel useless. I totally understand and agree with this lesson:
"Anticipating future events can be more pleasurable than the events themselves"
Do you have kids? In my experience having kids gives life so much more meaning than anything else ever could. Since you can see them developing skills and learning things in real time, it's a bit like re-experiencing the world through their eyes. Seeing all those little steps towards becoming a person is very wondrous and satisfying.
Start helping someone (if no inspiration, try helping avandoned children) and go to the gym. Very powerful and motivating combination
There is a void within everyone in the shape of God that can only be understood and fulfilled through Jesus Christ. Once this was revealed to me my life changed.
quit your job. It has been very freeing for me lately just earning enough to maintain and sustain. As a single guy the idea is to obtain an excess to attract a suitable mate but the mates are few and far between, corrupted and not worthy of perusal. Don't like the game you are playing? Start a new one with happiness at its core. Doing the bare minimum has never been more satisfying for me.
@@viggotannhauser7251 Kids shouldn’t be the solution to one’s sense of emptiness towards life. Only have kids if you truly want them and have the mental stability and maturity to do it.
It’s not about the destination, it’s the journey that’s exciting.
The destination still count towards happiness if it’s where u want to be and if it’s more pleasant than where u are coming from
@@bicycles-as-far-as-im-aliv5725 But many people don't realize that they are actually in a place where they can be completely happy and that it's the next goal that blocks them from seeing this.
Exactly so be happy for what you have right now, if opportunities arrive along the way that's a bonus.
It is but you will be traveling forever. Its deep inner peace you want.
Cliche nonsense.
One lesson I've learnt from billionaires is to always put your money to work, and diversifying your investments. I'm planning to invest about $200k of my savings in stocks this year, and I hope I make profits.
You are right. The best approach I feel is to diversify investments- by spreading investments across different asset classes like bonds, real estate, and international stocks, they can reduce the impact of a market meltdown.
That makes sense. I’ve been using a financial market expert for two years now and I own a six-figure diversified portfolio from investing in stocks. I want to diversify more this year, though.
@@Dantursi1 I really want to get in with a financial advisor this year, especially as all markets are hitting lows. I don't want to be too optimistic and end up losing everything.
My CFA Annette Christine Conte, a renowned figure in her line of work. I recommend researching her credentials further... She has many years of experience and is a valuable resource for anyone looking to navigate the financial market..
Thanks for sharing, I just looked her up on the web and I would say she really has an impressive background in investing. I will write her an e-mail shortly.
I'm 52 years old and even if you're broke there's nothing better than a day of fishing with your best friend and having fun!
Im jealous, ❤ i want to be jobless again
When you have a friend of course
It is a lot of fun working towards a fish
@@toliveistolearnandtolove7858 I don't think he said he was jobless. I can tell you something about being jobless though.
I thought the same as you but now I can say with experience that it isn't any good at all. I wouldn't ever had believed it until now that it happened but it's true.
I wish you good luck and godspeed my friend 🙂
I'm in my 50's and my debt is worth more than my assets. I'm still struggling to make it in America.
One of the biggest misconception is :
People think they feel good because they have achieved a goal...
When in truth, we feel good when the desire, the tension between us and our goal has disappeared.
We suffer because we think we miss things to be happy, when it's all there already.
great point
Well put.
That's BS. You become happy once you escape suffering. If your armor means you no longer have bruises and bleeding all over, that's happy. If it means you can finally explore those caves and dangerous islands that got you killed before, then you happily go exploring. In life if you finally have shelter that you don't have to share with people that ruin your life, that's happiness, peace and quiet. If you can finally afford to not be hungry and take care of your health, finally have the time for cooking and self-care, that's happiness. If you finally have time and possibility of talking to girls, whereas before you were surrounded only by guys in the engineering department, then that's a happy life, messaging girls, going out, having conversations. You obtain something, achieve something through hard work and sacrifice, and then finally enjoy happiness. All these people saying happiness is now, I guess they didn't grow up in poverty and chaos.
Then you marry one of those girls and your life ends
@@hufficag What @shilombaba says should imply that you need a basic material and financial security, to have the capacity to appreciate living in the present. Ofc it is very hard to be homeless and truly happy but you can live in a comfy apartment, pursue projects with a certain goal and not think "when I finally can afford that big house I will be happy", creating that unnecessary unfulfilled desire. In reality so many people have material comfort and also some time to do things they like, yet they feel empty because they have no projects and just fill their emptiness with quick pleasure and dream about even bigger things to buy.
I realized that life is about finding joy in being where we are now. Nothing outside of you should or can be the source of your joy.
J esus
O thers
Y ourself.
@@pbmc_ Not everyone believes in Jesus. Let us not assume we are all the same.
@shawnlove4502 I m not expressing an opinion. This is the truth. True happiness and joy come from a relationship with Jesus Christ.
@pbmc_ that's not the truth, it's your truth and that's fine.
Exactly, the past is gone, and the future is not here. What matters is to enjoy and feel the present moment. I think a lot of frustration and unhappiness comes from that competitive, goal-oriented mindset of the author '25 years realization' and not being mindful with ourselves. We feel like we need to fill something, to fill an emptiness, because we think we are not enough in that moment.
This video perfectly reflects the reality many people face. The same thing happened to me. I thought that when I bought my first house, I would be very happy. However, the truth is, I ended up feeling an emptiness because I no longer had a big goal to work towards. I then bought a second house and felt exactly the same. It was only a few years later that I realized the power of NOW is the most important thing of all. It was in that conscious moment that I understood how valuable the present is-the ability to feel the freedom of doing what I truly wanted and being aware of everything in each moment. Today, as I approach 40, I have finally come to this realization, though it took me 15 years to do so. Make the most of your time now. Set goals, yes, but live in the present, and you will surely find happiness.
Poor you 🙄
One of the biggest lies we're told is the lie of purpose. Life has no purpose, life IS the purpose. Happiness is something that comes from within, you cannot find it in the outside world. Purpose is a mind set, not a goal. You do things for a purpose because YOU made a choice. It's YOU who defines the value of things/experiences/etc. It's YOU who decides.
Read the book of Ecclesiastes and see where you go wrong.
Omg!!! Yes I say this all the time. Purpose is a man made concept. Being alive is the purpose.
Jesus said the Kingdom of Heaven is within YOU!
@@Esico6 Did you realize that The Kingdom of Heaven is within you..
@@Esico6 Listen to "Is there no God?" to see where you go wrong. :P
Sounds like a silly suggestion/comment, eh? Well, it is exactly on par with your "logic".
Read a book to find the meaning of life or listen to song or sign up for some lesson.
Get real. Go out and touch some grass.
"Everybody knows a million dollars won't make you happy, but we all want to find out for ourselves."
It's a lot easier to be happy when you have a million dollars.
@@CallowG Yeah, but is lot easier to dig your own grave. Trust me, i talk from experience.
@@CallowGRespectfully, you are wrong. It onky helps you to go through tough times, but not happiness.
@@CallowG I only recently saw with clarity, how it really wouldn't help me to be happy. I wanted to have sex with my wife, and suddenly I realized that if I had ten million dollars, that would still be all I wanted to do, and the money in the bank wouldn't have made the tiniest difference. There is just no way to buy these moments.
Sure, I could buy some nice stuff, but stuff tends to make me depressed once I have it. It only promises to make me happy while I still dream about it (that's exactly the "best gear" problem), but when it's there, I feel so empty about it (I did it too often with cameras). I could go on a nice holiday in a nice hotel, and I would like that, but I seriously doubt that would make me happier than a cheap place to stay. Who I'm with and what I do makes so much more of a difference. Even the weather would make more of a difference to my happiness.
That being said, I am convinced that being really poor can make you really unhappy. There is a verse in Proverbs in the Bible where the writer asks God to protect him from both poverty and riches. I think that is wise. Both can make you unhappy.
@@CallowG true. when i have money, i have freedom. i have less worries. something breaks? no problem, i can fix it or have it fixed or replaced. bills? 5 minutes online, click, click, click, paid. being broke is stressssfffuuullll
Best analogy I can think of is a man restoring a classic car from dereliction to brand new condition. When it is done, the journey is over. It was only ever about the journey, saving the car, making new friends to help, the satisfaction of replacing worn and rusting parts with new. Learning new skills. That first drive when restored, the admiration of other enthusiasts. Then what happens. The man can only admire his work for so long, there is nothing more to do, and the car is sold. What does he do?...he buys another wreck, and so the journey begins again, different this time, because he has learned so much on the previous journey. All of life is like this. Happiness is short lived. So is contentedness. It is meant to be so. It is the only way the soul can grow.
"Emotion is energy in motion" - a saying that's been around for some time.
The doing, the moving, the failing and the achieving are wha cause emotions. This is good- chase the positive emotion that will come with achievement. Then move towards that achievement.
Book of ecclesiastics in the Bible explains this & explains this from King Solomon who had more wisdom & wealth than anyone that ever lived,
👍The maybe even better analogy happens in bed ... when its done, the journey is over and you have to live an collect tension to release again.
To the extent that somebody is enjoying the process of self improvement then there is nothing wrong. Unfortunately, many people seek forms of "self improvement" that are in fact destructive, and the means by which they see to achieve their goals are also destructive. Many western-oriented goals are destructive, if not to oneself than at least to the environment and future generations. The goal of doing something just to make somebody else jealous, for example, is a terrible goal.
After 12 cars he find himself bored. It becomes a job. A job that keeps you busy.
Its about peace. Deep inner peace beyond your own understanding. From that happiness will follow but happiness will come and go. You cannot hold happiness, its like a cloud when you hold it it will disappear.
In my experience, I realize that there is no single point you can reach that guarantees ultimate happiness forever. Life is full of ups and downs; it always depends on the circumstances you are facing, and you have to learn how to deal with those situations. Although "life is defined as the series of choices you make," even if you do your best, you never know what comes next.
Imagine you have your dream job and dream partner, you have the best routine, and then, suddenly, you get into an accident, or a close one passes away. You have to learn how to deal with the circumstances and do your best.
You've just described the power of dopamine. The anticipation of the reward is more powerful than the reward itself. 🙂
Not a single comment? Let me fix it.
Yup, heaps of new exciting evidence on neurotransmitters and how easily they can be managed for many people.
Incorrect. Is the anticipation of an orgasm (the reward) more powerful than the orgasm itself? Not even close. Any drug that forces an abnormally high release of endorphins will be always a more powerful reward than any anticipation can be. The true reward is not dopamine, but the activation intensity of the μ-opiod receptor. Therefore the correct phrase should say: "The anticipation of the reward can sometimes be more pleasurable than the reward itself."
@@RPP403can't quote it using RUclips app.
Similar to stocks sometimes, builds up hype, it happens, stock falls. Feels like a common pattern
This guy is 100% right. The journey is so much more rewarding than the destination.
you sure about that? Because I think its the opposite, one basic example: Most people love having money but most ppl hate to work because most ppl do work because they have to not because they want to but because they must to to survive and have money.
In life its all like that, what you want its only important to you but not the the other people, other ppl who doesnt know you or even if they do you arent important to them arent going to care about your goals or your dreams. We arent living in the 50s or the 60s anymore, most ppl are indebt, companies are paying shitty wages and everything is so fucking expensive that it doesnt matter really if you do have a job because even if you do you are most likely going to end up living with your parents or sharing an apartment with strangers.
Your happiness isnt really in your head, things from outside are going to afect you and if you dont fight or dont have the warrior actitude you are never going to be happy because other ppl will always stomp you over.
@@robertorpg2132dude why you think people like elon just don't retire despite having infinite money? They still work for their goal new inventions and innovations and new companies new businesses. I believe these people have this mentality of life is journey not a destination
@@robertorpg2132 Bob, this is one of the best articulations I think I've ever read. Where do you live man? Let's be friends! Im in Canada.
Correct, that's because there has never been a destination for any of us..
My wife has never understood my penchant for taking up new hobbies and interests. This video explains it perfectly. I'm always setting new goals for myself. Meanwhile she laments all the things she hadn't done in life, but just wants to complain about and never sets new goals.
Then help her.
Wow that's my wife too, so confused and annoyed I try new things. Women like to sit around and waste time talking about people, who is doing what and why. That's all they care about
Why you marry her
Kidz! A joy to see all the new and exciting ways my woman engages in to be something for those glorious little brats she paid for with her body, and at times nearly her life to bring into this world. And so I stand back...keep my mitts outta her kitchen(!).
I as a man could not have done this kid thing for 5 minutes.
@@Mnil52 dont marry such a woman, there are enough women who like to have hobbies, activities and dont gossip much
Arthur Schopenhauer summed this up so brillantly : 'life swings back and forth like a pendulum between pain and boredom,'
That's me, when I was a broke student, I always dreamed of buying things when I got a job, but now that I've bought those things, I still feel empty.. :/ The anticipation of those things was much better.
It’s more about who you with. But environment (things) are important as well. Damn I miss my 5.9er 😂
Try putting the emotions you put on the anticipation of those things onto being a minimalist. We create our emotions for 'things'.
We have been programmed that way.
Watch Nero Knowledge or Neville Goddard ❤❤❤❤
You can learn also to appriate the things you have achieved, I've bought myself a watch, I've saving for months, althoght i already want another more expensive one, i enjoy wearing this, i enjoy looking at it, i'm proud of myself, my hard work and discipline to buy it, and not to spend on some other things like alcohol or girls or things like that
That’s because your only purpose in life is to reproduce as much as possible and if you are a westerner, you have completely lost that purpose.
That I've found out in one of my psychedelic trips. We humans are purpose machines. Only u can give yourself purpose. Happiness is a state of mind. It's a short ride, just enjoy it.
Sing because you love to sing, not because you want to win a Grammy.
Underrated comment- applies to so many things
Yes. Satisfy your soul
@@stevenotero2627my soul IS already satisfied.....and as soon as I did invite my soul into my day to day reality the fun began.😊❤
Hello from Austria
You do you.
Exactly this
I’ve never felt more challenged in life than the day I was in a refugee camp on the Thailand/Burma border. As I walked toward a bamboo hut, I heard 50 orphans, who saw their parents murdered and village burned by the Burmese Army, singing worship songs. Tears were rolling down my cheeks knowing these children had nothing but were full of joy. I had everything but possessed little joy. A transformation took place in my life where I began to live way below my means so I could give to meet the needs of children who had nothing. That was 15 years ago. It truly is better to give than to receive.
beautiful. Rich or poor, disabled or athletic, I believe if we can express our values in life, we're painting a picture that others can see. This might be a picture that people hate, or that people love. It's our choice what we paint, but making others happy truly brings some level of contentment. Good luck on your journey man!
😢❤😊
To give is to be like God.
To take is to be like woman.
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
The true giving comes from the sence of overflow. This way it happens automatically. There is nothing we can do about it. We're just called to do that.
I fall into this trap a lot. I brood in my room about how much I don't like my current situation, or any of the people I have around me. When I'm out and have to focus on the outside events instead of being in my head, I don't feel hatred towards anything.
I'll go as far as to say I'm actually enjoying most interactions even though I am an introvert at my core. I wish I could remain in the now and not obsess over my ideals for how things should have always been.
Since retiring three years ago, I’ve noticed how much my goals have changed, which I think is something most retirees can relate to. In our younger years, we chase success and experiences, but once we reach a certain stage, it’s financial security and health that really take over. Looking back, I don’t regret the fast-paced years of work and life, but I see now how critical it is to build a solid foundation when you're employable. Without that, retirement could easily become a struggle, especially with inflation making things even tighter these days. Moving out of the city to stretch my savings has been a big part of this shift, and it’s made me realize how important it is to work smart when you're younger because once you reach this stage, your needs and priorities will look very different.
I can relate to your concern. I’m approaching retirement myself, and after starting late with investing, I initially thought my ETF portfolio would carry me through. But it wasn’t growing fast enough, and I felt stuck. It wasn’t until I worked with a financial advisor and restructured everything that I finally felt on track. Now, I’m set to retire with around $4 million, without that guidance, I don’t think I’d feel nearly as confident
I’m still figuring out my portfolio strategy and how to make the most of it. Did you find your advisor through a recommendation, or did you research on your own? I’m realizing that it might be what I’m missing
Finding the right financial advisor is such a personal decision, and what works for one person won’t necessarily fit for everyone. That said, I can say Emily Ava Milligan’s approach was a turning point for me. Unlike a lot of one-size-fits-all advice, she took the time to understand my goals, needs, and situation. I could see how her strategy shifted based on what mattered most to me, not just market trends. It's worth at least checking her out, you might find her style aligns with what you're looking for
Thanks for that. I did a quick search and found her page. I was able to email so I sent over a few questions to get more info. Appreciate you sharing
Amazing how you worked your whole life and were not able to find an advisor until someone mentioned a name in a youtube comment, and then you blindly decided on that one.
I achieved financial freedom 3 years ago when I turned 30. Never thought it will come so quickly. And never thought that I will feel like that character with full armor just standing there alone not knowing what to do next. Lost in the deep nothingness of existence and lack of meaning.
And whenever I start to dream again to think what else I want to achieve- I become alive again.
Very good lesson and video. Thank you!
I challenge you to use some of the financial freedom to solve some problems. Maybe start in your local area/town? I would love to have just a little more cash so that I could build affordable low-cost housing for purchase or rent for our local residents.
The guy that created Minecraft sold it for $2,000,000,000. He said after that he had no need to make anything anymore. He had no incentive to spend effort to create. He couldn't even enjoy a lot of his money, because he couldn't just go to Ibiza and call all his friends to join them because they were all at work.
Exactly it's very sad to have money all for yourself, it sets you alone and strengthens the distance between you and other people 😢
Can you share how you did it and create a story out of it? Help othhers? Or try making it a purpose.
Help others, volunteer work, etc
The answer isn’t having goals, it’s confronting fears. No matter where you are in life there will always be something you are scared of doing
Im sooo scared to do tax evasion 😢
Yes
how can you fear something that isn't a "goal" or end of some sort?
@@geort45 the goal is to conquer your fear
@@brendensangster3571So there is a goal after all then. But I think it is still flawed to think it is always about fears. I am for example trying to lose weight and achive better endurance/fitness. Not because I fear something but because I want.
Its nice to hear this, HAVE GOALS and once achieved have more life's to short to be sitting around overthinking and being depressed, Nice vid man
Great video and its core message is reminiscent of the well-known quote "Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm”
“Happiness is a direction, not a destination”
So you need goals to have a direction, set goals that inspire you to go get them, don’t stop this.
Easier said than done.
@@centralintelligenceagency9003 All of the most important things in life are easy to say and hard to do.
Perfect example of “it’s the journey, not the destination”
Great message man, and one that I am definitely going to keep reminding myself about 🙏
"Stop watching RUclipsrs who offer advice because they only want to sell you an ideal image. They post photos near the pool with a cute baby and a nice house to make you believe that their advice works. This is nonsense because constantly striving for goals is exhausting. True happiness comes from finding contentment in all aspects of your life." Not by setting yourself yet more goals.
I am now 50 years old, and I'm happy I am done. Life is all about making precious memories now with my husband and my children and close family and friends. Making the most of the time I have left with the people I love.
What do you mean "I am done" Do you mean you are past the point of being ambitious as life is set? I feel a bit that way at 44
Your goal now is to make precious memories with your family and make the most of the time you have left, that is an excellent goal.
Yes, I am done because we've reached the goals that we set when we were just married. We agreed that when we achieved everything we wanted, it's now time to focus on making memories, enjoying the life we've built together, and watching our adult children build their lives.
I can understand why you are feeling burnt out at 44; this happened to my husband. I think we put so much pressure on ourselves that we burn out. Focus on the things you love and build your life around them. Try to gradually cut back. I don't know your circumstances, but you need to be honest with yourself and set yourself on a path that's right for you. Even just taking a timeout gives you time to work things out and focus on the rest of your life. You mustn't try to push past it. You'll end up having a breakdown. Please take some time for yourself, whether it's a weekend, it doesn't matter. Most importantly, talk to your partner or your family about how you're feeling. You're a team and you work together.
@@samvarcoethank you
yes this guy is so close to grasping important ideas and yet also missing the main point, setting goals and working towards them on a day to day basis will not bring you happiness. and neither will fantasizing about this "dream life" that he describes, he is still caught in this illusion that he thought he escaped
This video hits hard, well done. Very valuable information. "life is a jouney, not a destination."
er..yeah ...that's really profound.! I found it in a fortune cookie years ago..!
we are the destination..
indeed, nobody told that life long quest of gathering people for you funeral could not be fun!
This hits home as a musician. I’ve been playing guitar and piano for over 2 decades and I’ve finally realized that I need to stop comparing myself to others and just enjoy playing for myself.
If others enjoy what I play and create, then thats a really cool bonus. Enjoy the Journey people, the best you can. God Bless from 🇺🇸✝️🗽🎸
Just to be able to play those instruments!!! That's wonderful.
@@karlareadstheclassics217 - Thanks Karla. Music is amazing and to be able to play is a very special experience. Take care.
Same here.
I tell people I’m a professional amateur.
I don’t think I’m that great but I have played with certain musicians and they were pretty impressed at my originality because most of the stuff I play is my own creativity.
I met a cobbler then other day , hes 84 yesrs old and looks exactly ljke Albert Einstein.
He had a dobro and a 1971 Ovation hanging in his shop.
I asked about them and he told me the story behind them and after some wonderful stories he asked me if I wanted to try the ovation because he cant play it any longer but loves how it sounds.
His fingers hurt and he shakes too bad to play it so he slides on the dobro.
So I played him a couple of my favorite original tunes after tweaking the tuning into shape.
He bad the biggest grin and said “I don’t think this guitar had ever been played so beautifully in its entire life.”
I laughed it off and then asked him if he knew this one and I played ELP’s “From the beginning” and he was like “Oh yeah I know this song.”
I stopped playing and said “Thjs is where I stop unless you have a Hammond B-3 organ warmed up and ready.”
Super cool guy….he used to play in a traveling band for a major hotel chain.
Can’t wait to pick up my leather jacket from him because I’m gonna surprise him with my own custom Ovation.
@@Wookinpanub235 -Great life Story!
I appreciate you sharing it.
Lol Whats really cool is my first guitar was an ovation acoustic electric. I have that guitar still to this day 22+years later. 🎸💪😁
I’m glad that you could make someone else happy with the gift of music. It truly does soothe the soul. Take care friend. 🎹✌️🎸
The only person you need to be comparing yourself to is the you from yesterday. Because that person is your only rival.
Everyone on this planet needs to see this video. So much truth
Maybe that’s why people with ADHD, myself included, can sometimes struggle with feelings of depression. We often get distracted quickly and lose interest in things we were once super excited about, always chasing that next source of dopamine. It can be really hard to stick with one thing long enough to fully invest time and effort into it. The idea that happiness comes from having goals and working towards them makes sense, but for those of us with ADHD, staying focused on a long-term goal can feel almost impossible at times. This constant cycle of wanting to commit but being unable to maintain that focus can be frustrating and disheartening.
This way of living is one of living with a mind that is wired for dopamine seeking. It's the life of a hunter that is always seeking, chasing, and looking for the next target/goal.
@@jakeharper9623 Can I trade it for the Bard? Seems much more pleasant in the long run! 😜
Yes! Been going through this for years. I think that maybe i should stop limiting myself and rather have too many goals all at once in a chaotic adhd hype than not be able to commit because i can't choose one. Maybe we need to throw ourselves in the deep end after al.
ADD here. My tip would be to read “the power of now” and even though it is very very hard for me to be present to the moment, I have somehow learned to mix it in with my mindstate and not be depressed for a very long time. It’s hard to explain but there are also great stories that explain this idea. Vagabond, Vinland saga for example. And oh, shrooms where a game changer but be careful with that
Indeed
“ The past is history. The future is a mystery. All we have is the present, that’s why it’s called a gift.”
Dan Rudeyar.
stop reading those fortune cookies
@@mlongpre100 they so true!!-“ All is mind, mate!”
“Life is happening now-not at the finish line. Joy and fulfillment don’t wait at the end; they live in the progress you make each day. Every move forward is a victory in itself, so embrace it-embrace today, for this is where life truly unfolds.“ - me (:
Yep. Planning to be happy 'someday' is a trap. Find happiness everyday, even when you are miserable.
That was spot on! I'll remember that, thank you!
You are a great motivational speaker. You should take that up and get paid for it. Thank you so much. You might just have saved my life. I suffer from stage 5 kidney disease (CKD), I have HIV and diabetes. I have also just already had heart valve replacement. I have never smoked or taken drugs in my life yet, I've become very sick at an age of just 54. I have been on the verge of ending it all but, I came across your video and it has really made me think. Again, thank you.
Many people believe " when I get this new car.....this new house.....a great job...than I'll be happy".
Feel happy NOW. I think about a happy event in my life......until I FEEL happy. And I sit there as long as possible in this happy feeling. It works......for ME😊
You will feel a lot happier with lots of money, that new car, that new house and that great job. Don't let the wealthy try to trick you into thinking money doesn't help with happiness, because it does. It removes many of the daily survival worries that people with little money have.
An even higher form of happiness, is not looking outward and to the future or what you can accomplish, but looking inward and to the present moment. This is a game changer. Looking at your thoughts, your beliefs, your emotions. And meditating in the now. The present now. We are human beings not human doings.
If you shift your focus to feeling content by looking inward then you can learn to be anywhere and feel peace or joy. You can love to just sit still because you feel oneness.
Accomplishing does bring dopamine increases, but it's very future focus.
Eckhart Tolle changed me.
@@gamer-z1m2v yes!!
So are you fulfilled?
Yes you are right, stil life can be alot better if you have stuff in order and it can add alot of meaning with people around you and being able to afford to go places and experience experiences
I thought working towards a goal gives serotonin and feelings of meaning, not just dopamine
@@gamer-z1m2vsame
I have traveled the world and you know what I learned? That nothing is more valuable than knowing oneself.
Thank you very much for this, you are a blessing
the least visited place...our heart!
@@ΜαρίαΚων-ι3β wow, that's deep
When you want nothing you have everything
The magic you're looking for is in the work you're avoiding. Period.
Crazy reading this, it’s actually my Lock Screen.
Not if you hate the work you are relegated to. I’m in my 43rd year of being a lawyer and I’ve been miserable pretty much the entire time. I still am. I’ll retire in a couple of months. It’s going to be better right? I doubt it seriously.
@@maxsparks5183I don't know any lawyer that doesn't have a good wage, so you must've done it for a reason and that reason was probably money. We all have to pay the price of what could've been to be able to go through that one path we in that moment wanted the most. Furthermore, regrets are just logical fallacies, since your brain can only work in a "the grass is greener on the other side" way of comparisons
@paul.van.hemmen so well said! You are on point!
@@maxsparks5183 Jesus, I feel so fucking sorry for you.
Subbed. Very refreshing video in a ocean of "alpha, red pill, hustle... culture". Realistic.
Men(and women) should know that success isn't built on success. It's built on failure and frustration, and on fear that you have to overcome. That's what the e-book called Unveiling Your Hidden Potential' by Bruce Thornwood taught me. The best read I ever had.
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todo dia essa porra
Happiness is always here and now 🙂 whether we're working towards something or we have achieved it, both are of equal value
Sounds lime something Bruce Thornwood would say...
But what is success?
TRUE. Aber komplizierte Art zu sagen "Der Weg ist das Ziel". Great Video :)
Thanks for the reminder. I'm 46 years old, have a both challenging but great life, and still need to be reminded on this now and then. 🙏🏻
"After a time, you may find that having is not so pleasing a thing after all as wanting. It is not logical, but is often true." - Spock
Always be your true self. Work to better yourself, but always be genuinely you. Took me 20 years to figure that out.
Bravo this is the greatest message I ever heard Bravo 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽I've always thought this that's its about the journey not necessarily the destination.
I agree for the most part but I have realized that some people are a lot better at contentment. Achievers are addicts if you try to derive happiness from the goal posts. I believe achievements can generate tremendous meaning but happiness and contentment comes from loving yourself and enjoying the now. Some achievers are depressed but somehow my old mother who had a hard life and only reads and makes dinner is the happiest person I know.
"Achievers are addicts". The exact reason why this is the case is because achievers are fundamentally built different and their state of mind and world perception is on an entirely different level. I would give myself the freedom to label this phenomenon as pathological narcissistic disorder (NPD). The narcissist is fundamentally unable to genuinely experience the emotions of joy, content, happiness, etc. There is only the chase of power and control and fueling on other people's emotions. This manifests on many different levels from the most basic essential to the most sophisticated complex tasks. When you realize this, you will realize that these types of people do not function as the rest.
@@mzefic achievers are just npcs that follow instructions without asking thmselves if grinding towards that goal is actually worth their time, no critical thinking whatsoever
I'm currently 24 and I'm glad I watched this video. I was stuck with that belief that I will be happier after achieving my goals. I'd like to thank you for making this video, for letting me realize this during the early stages of my life.
I needed this more than you will ever know. God bless you for helping many people and keep up with the great content!
🙏🏻
You still will be, he was. But it's a good message too.
Coming from someone just a little bit older than you, keep this in your back pocket because there will be times you forget this and need a fresh reminder.
Looking back. He is right. You are happiest when you consistently work towards you goals, you occupy your mind, working towards projects, getting knowledge, experience, live “now”/present and of course being young adds a vibe to it.
God has his agents in RUclips's "you may also like" department too. :-))
Hard to be happy when it’s a struggle trying to get by
It's not about being happy, but the content of surviving preferably with loved ones not too distant - my story anyway. Hoping your struggles will soon abate. God bless.
Sam Harris wrote a book around a decade ago called Spirituality where he hit the nail on the head with some of this stuff. Basically, the bizarre lies we tell ourselves as we pursue satisfaction. Once i get the renovation job done i can relax. Once i paint the fence that will be it. I just need X, Y, and Z. But no matter what it is, it is always FLEETING. It doesnt last. We end up back at the start. One quote i remembered from this part of the book that convinced me his insight is right is, "Each of us is looking for a path back to the present, we are trying to find good enough reasons to be satisfied NOW."
I love your insights. One of the best things I've ever done is to hang a sign with a simple message on the wall above my desk, where I see it every morning. It says: "WHAT CAN I DO TO SEIZE TODAY?" Asking myself that sets the tone for my day.
you are right but life is still better with a person who loves you and support you...
Yes,but 88% of people will not meet that person and settle for Right now Person or nice house with children person.Its very hard to actually meet perfect match.
I have that. And yes it's better. But life stills feels pointless. We're both together sick of this world and stopped making plans or having dreams.
I ask people if they are happier now that they are in a relationship. Despite stress and hardship, most still answer yes.
It is a combination. You always need to have goals, and you need to know that the journey is what matters..
Right. Achieving goals is a symptom of the enjoyment of pursuing them. It's about process, not product. This is why people who mainly want the product often fail to get it.
I am amazed to see that not many people are missing that connecting with nature and being out in the world will make you feel so much better than being inside the gym or playing video games. Also helping others and kindness is more rewarding than you can even imagine. There are so many ways to volunteer and hey you might meet a girl who is more about liking you for you, rather than for you money or muscles. But each to their own.
100% So true!!! I think that both genders have become misdirected. You seem to be totally on from, spot on, and in the zone! Where do you live!? Im in Canada!
Muscles are still worth it to protect your girl.
Happiness is a fickle visitor that you are occasionally blessed with. If you are happy appreciate it because it will fade away quickly.
It is better to seek fulfillment, because that is long blasting and has deep meaning. Play always improving and always growing that is the way
This is the best advice i have heard on RUclips
Goals are important. But its not the moment of reaching them that counts, but the time you spend to invest in yourself, your body and your mental health while walking that path towards those goals. You should always expect another goal you need to work for after reaching the one you've set yourself before.
The essence of all of this above is: Standstill makes one depressed and gives you the feeling of unimportance in life. But change and motion are the natural cycles of everything. A tree needs to shed its leaves in order to survive and grow. And a goose needs to travel across continents every season to find a place where it can thrive.
Remember, do whatever makes you happy. But whenever you end up in a standstill, dont wait for things to change, because they wont. The only one who can free you from standstill is you. Thats what i've learned from many years of depression and it resulting in a standstill.
It's like hitting a cheat code once you hit those life goals, but really, living your life is THE goal.
Live in the moment. This is really good advice. As a gamer, I know what you’re talking about. The game becomes empty once you’ve beat it or there’s nothing to work towards anymore.
once i reached max level in WoW i was so so so depressed, like I can't believe I just wasted all that time and for what, what was the purpose, and the worst part is I kept playing more videogames after that, I still play videogames. It's like what is the point of achieving goals, anyways, i just want a reason to live, a small simple reason, like love, but of course love is impossible to find, and god does not help me though i've begged and cried for years
Just make new alt 😂
I know what you mean. Once I mastered pong I never played another game.
Pursuit of fitness and health is an awesome open ended passion that adds greatly to *every* other aspect of life. Once you gain exceptional fitness you can work on maintaining it. The self confidence, respect from others, and quality of life enhancements are like having a permabuff but in real life. Well worth the effort.
hmm no, because you'll end inevitably and all of this effort wouldve been for naught. it cant be your ultimate goal. there are goals that are more important
Absolutely
@@motan7864that logic can be applied to literally anything
"This too shall pass" is a phrase older than most nations alive today for more than one reason
Happyness is a birthright, I see it in my kids daily, I used to experience it all the time as a kid. It's the piling on of external stimuli and sometimes, responsibility and pressure that's inauthentic, that has blinded me from my initial happyness. It's been helpful to reconnect with what was making me happy as a kid. None of that was about goals. It was about enjoyment of authentic curiosity, like music and watching insects. Which unconciously lead to wanting to learn more and reading up on them. Or just doing nothing and watching the clouds. Being in the moment, really. No not even mindfulness, just emerging yourself in something you enjoy. From that alone, you'll already learn a lot. I had no specific "goals" necessarely as a saxophone player, other than: "hey, that sounds extremely beautiful, let's join in on that till it clicks". And now I get to teach my kids about insects and they love it too😊.
I am 68 and I wish to share that our goals change, as we achieve our goals, new ones become meaningful. As a retiree, I don’t regret the intense times of my life, but I certainly enjoy the results by being stress free, having a nice caring healthy family and enjoying financial security. It’s important to work during the years that we are employable, it is a limited time we have to make the best of it because we only have one life and if we miss the boat, retirement might be difficult especially if financial means and health are main issues.
Now at 68, what can you do with all that money and security now your best years are behind you?
@@WhatEver-si7kt he can afford a nice place to live and can spend for his health, and hobbies, while having a loving family, what else you can need? and these years should be the current best years, to some extent money is needed to have a solid and calm foundation of happiness
He could build Up a healthy family and environment
@@baxeelelle Not at all, cause at 68 you can't do the same things that you were able to do when you were young, you live once, you can be young 1 time.
He can pay doctors, that's about it
My grandpa always said: its not the destination, its the journey that matters. Your actions and inactions, failures and victories that makes the difference. I never understood that until just when coof hit.
My children make me smile on a daily basis. Having children made me happier than any financial or career achievements I have ever accomplished.
One thing I’ll know I’ll regret is not spending more time with my child. Time flies, life is short…spend it with the people you love.
Me2. Having children was the best choise in my life. Went from a boy to a man real quick! My goal is 3 children with my girl.
banging without a rubber is considered an accomplishment now ?
things don't make us happy.
Children are just more things.
since when is banging without a rubber an accomplishment ?
Im currently 21 years old. Im not rich, im not jacked, i don’t have a girlfriend. Im working on myself in every way I can, and at times I get lost in the thought of the future. Or that the past should’ve been different. Instead of appreciating the present.
Thank you for the reminder. 🙏🏽
As they said: "It's the journey, not the destination."
I went through all of this. Now i just don't give a f..k anymore. This life is sickening. Money, woman, whatever. Its all shit.
But good video bro.
100% brother. But as Jimi says, "That's alright, I still got my guitar" :P Where do you brother? Im in Canada.
Great advice!!! I agree 100%. The life is NOW!!!
Top wisdom Rob! Thanks for the clear articulation 👏
'Find your gifts and consistently apply yrself from day to day' ✌
"The thing about happiness is, you only know you had it when it's gone. You may think to yourself that you're happy, but you don't really believe it..." Kellogg - Fallout 4
That's some B's you know exactly when you happy or when not it's just that people don't take the time to really ask rhemself.. simple ask yourself on the end of a day was that a day that you would like to happen again if yes it was a good day you happy if not ask yourself what part of the day you don't want to live again and try to change it easy concept
Sorry, that’s total BS! Had times (not moments but days and years) where I felt so blessed I couldn’t believe. Be honest with yourself and others (!!!) put in effort and show respect and it’s all love!
@@mAthXjAzz Guys, chill, it's a quote from a game. Take it with some humor and a grain of salt, please.
@@Pancake_Nix I don't like salt I like chilli flakes.. get them things spicy
@@pPunktG I really have no use for that info, but okay... thanks for letting me know, I guess. 🤷♂
The mistake was your reasoning at 2:01. You were happy at that moment until you thought you’d be even happier if/when….
there is nothing 'out there' that can give you any lasting satisfaction . it is 'in yourself' that you will get it
you mustnt have children
Very enlightened video Rob, thank you. Proof of the saying, “it’s the journey, not the destination….”
Exactly. Humans are funny that way; actively doing things is what gives us purpose and makes us happy. We're like worker ants who need to keep piling stuff onto the anthill, otherwise we just don't know what to do, and not knowing what to do makes us depressed. It's been like this forever, it's the reason our species has gone from living naked in caves to walking on the moon and sending satellites beyond the borders of our solar system. We tie the worth of our very existense into doing and experiencing things.
this video’s take really clicks with some of the things I've been reading in unveiling your hidden potential by bruce thornwood
Working towards your goals that are in alignment with your body,mind, soul and spirit in gods plan for your life.
I think the problem stems from being constantly focused outwardly and outside of ourselves. I felt financially starved for most of my life. Then, it changed, I achieved my goals, and was able to get everything I ever wanted and then some. And while it was nice it became empty and over time I lost interest in my nice things. It always loses its sparkle. I think the problem lies in having our attention constantly focused on the material world. In the end it’s always empty. Feels like it’s not real.
So it means bhagavat geeta is true.A long time ago, Long Lord krishna said that material world is full of miseries.
I'm feeling this at the moment. After three and a half years I finally have a unit I can call my own. It's clean, it's modern. Nothing needs fixing, nothing needs upgrading, nothing needs to be done. While I am managing to keep myself occupied by buying some of the furniture and bits and pieces needed, I find myself in need of a new goal.
This video is exactly what I needed to see. I lost the love of my life a couple nights ago and it was for this very reason. I was fat and shy in high school, so senior year I got this immense drive to better myself. Lost all the weight, gained so much muscle that strangers would compliment me, I took a serving job so I could force myself to socialize daily. I stuck with that for years and finally, I got the most beautiful and smart girlfriend in the world and it literally felt like my life’s work was complete the day I asked her to be mine. It only took a week before I felt like something was off. 2 years later I found myself bitter, angry, unhappy, I didn’t know why I was unhappy when I had everything I ever wanted, so I blamed her (she was starting to get crappy to me and not treat me the best, but I didn’t realize it was because I had become so stagnant in life) :/ I tried so hard to make her see that it was all her fault and I didn’t even realize it was mine. I stopped trying, I thought I had it all. Now that she’s gone I can’t believe how wrong I was. Don’t make the same mistakes I did, please. If you’re unhappy in a relationship, take a step back and really ask yourself why before it’s too late. Luckily this realization has given me the realization that I need to better myself again, day one complete and I feel better already
just wow.. thank you for sharing your beautiful heart that way.. i am so sad about what happened to you- and the way you described her is the very truth of her with zero doubt -I can feel your pain and hers too .. please know you can love and be loved and be in-love again and will never need to repeat this lesson now that you have learned it at this time at this cost.. well done Sir .. well done and you should consider becoming an inspirational speaker/writer to young men and women especially - your authenticity is moving, and inspiring and your insights are so on point- you have become the kind of man all women dream of having xo
@@sonjaninja you brought tears to my eyes reading this. I just hope I can help someone who’s currently making the same mistakes I did. I took her to dinner last night and told her my newfound realizations. It was so beautiful and full of tears. In the end she thought I was going to ask for her back, but I know now I’m not ready. I still have some growing to do. I’m always going to have to live with the regret of messing up the best thing I’ve ever had
much love to you both ❤
Find something to transform or create, because creation, and life itself, wants to work on you.
At some point at a high level of wisdom, Life slowly let’s go of its position as teacher and likewise your position of student and they switch.
You teach life what you believe to be true. And maybe Life learns something from you.
I think a lot of people are like that, but there's people who are also just "content"...
I have a job, but I also play video games and don't have a GF, and I'm not looking for one actively... and I'm content...
I like coming home and unwinding and not looking for the "next goal"... I don't chase goals, I live in the moment... I do what I feel like doing now :)
Amen to that
Deep down, I think I already knew this, but it's great to hear it explained so clearly. While it might not apply to everyone, it definitely resonates with me. If I don't have something to aim for, I feel a sense of emptiness.
What I believe Rob is saying here isn’t "stop chasing goals and just be content," but rather "understand what truly makes you happy and embrace it."
For me, that happiness comes from constantly setting and achieving new challenges. When I accomplish one, I need to create another-otherwise, I’m left wondering, “Why do I feel empty when I have so much?”
For example, I’m currently planning to build a workshop. I don’t know much about construction, and it would be easier to hire someone. But financially, that would set me back. By learning the skills and doing it myself, I’m not only working toward my goal of paying off the house in 15 years, but I’ll also have a space where I can continue learning and creating. Each goal I achieve opens the door to new ones, keeping that "achievement-driven" part of me fulfilled.
Great video, Rob!
I think there is a big societal illusion that we have to "be happy", otherwise we failed in life. We're perpetually taught that "happiness" is the ultimate goal. But I think happiness is only a short-lived thing of a moment. A long-term and much more realistic and permanent goal is contentment that arises from life circumstances that give us a feeling of safety and calm. This can be through a more or less stable job, a loving partner, or financial independence, etc. Modesty and simplicity are also keys to contentment; the less you need, the less you miss.
I think that today's times strongly encourage living for oneself and realizing one's own plans. Of course, one's own happiness is the most important, even at the expense of the happiness of others. I am afraid, however, that the purpose of our lives is not self-fulfillment but cooperation with others, acceptance of what we have no influence on, the ability to give up one's own egoism. I think that life is a dry wine not a happy meal.
Still nope... Most of these comments are missing something crucial... I will tell you, but it won't matter. Most people will just think I am a fool and simply never give what I am saying a try... I have everything you just mentioned (pretty much)... I very comfortable life, a well paying remote job, a wonderful husband 2 fantastic children, a very nice home, I believe I am fairly attractive with a nice and healthy body... Even with all of this, there was STILL something missing... I found what it was... Or, rather... It found me... He found me... Jesus... He is actually real... Like for REAL real... All of those crazy Christians babbling on street corners were right and I ignored them my WHOLE life. Now I finally get it... I finally have everything I ever needed... I thought chasing all the good things in life would make me feel joyful and complete... There is no way to be truly whole without God... I hope one day you all find what I did... To this day even my husband doesn't believe It is so sad to have found this awesome treasure and have everyone just look at me like I am being silly... What could have made this drastic change in my point of view?! This didn't come from nowhere, I'm not crazy... Such a shame that most people still won't see what is right in front of them... Bless you all and I hope you find what I did!
@@kendals3833 Religion is important to many, yet I don't believe in 2000 year-old fairy tales. I would even be inclined to believe if there were more "signs" that god actually exists. The soup is too thin for me. Moreover, the world is a horrendous unfair brutal mess, and has always been. If god does exist, he's either not good, or not almighty. Also, humanity has believed in more than 5000 gods over time, so which one is the one to be selected? Why didn't you select eg, Allah instead?
@@kendals3833 it is true, but it's mostly joyful in the beginning. With time, there comes treils, temptations, oppressions, doubts, and feelings of lack of God protection. It's not an easy ride. Christianity is a narrow path and spiritual warfair most of the time. when it's too easy, you doing something wrong, you lukewarm, or you still didn't deny yourself in the name of Jesus. sorry to burst your bubble of newly born Christian.
I see you've read The Happiness Trap
It's about road, not destination.
Life before Death
Strength before Weakness
Journey before Destination
Ok, Forest Gump
If there are no destinations, there will be no roads
not true
@bluemamba5317 all places can be destinations. It's experience afterall
Amazing video and strong message 💪🏻
To me this means in a summary to always have a goal to work on, but at the same time to live in the moment and ENJOY it to the fullest.
I have had many times when I felt completely content and had no real worries. It felt like bliss just taking a walk. The reason? I had time and freedom. I was young and still had time to build the future of my dreams. Everything I dreamt of was possbile. Now, I am middle aged and most of my dreams are not possible anymore. Doors have closed. Women I dreamt of aren't attractive anymore. Women I am attracted to are too young (early 20s). That brings a sense of sadness to me.
I have found personally for me , that i need a faith. Otherwise nothing makes much sense.
have faith in yourself
@@mlongpre100 I do. Believe me. I don't look to anyone.
Wise words, wonderful. And the best things in life are free. Go for a hike, spent time in nature. Pick up a nice hobby, meet friends. And be thankful to be healthy and don't take it for granted.
I "cheat" the system by writing. Once I finish one story, I think of another, then another and so on. Got one book published already. I always have the goal of another story to be written in the future. Therefore I'll never feel like there's nothing more to achieve.
Find you own "cheat code" to continously keep doing throghout your whole life and you'll be saved.
You need to understand how the mind works, dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin etc.
Morgan house said in is book that "when we get something that we want, we feel that pleasure, but after some time that pleasure faiths away. In other words, your mind Seattle the bar higher and higher and higher, therefore you can't achieve eternal satisfaction in this world.
This is the game of life, progressing and riching the soul. But what the soul really wants? That's something you need to ask yourself. Probably you will never find the real answer for that.
I would say that the first step is to unplug yourself from the society we live the known matrix. Maybe your goals right now, have been kind of manipulated by our society or parents, teachers etc. Ask yourself is this what I truly want or is something that has been programmed in my subconscious mind.
Love you all ❤
Nice message
Sounds super self-helpy and unhelpful imo.
The reason we constantly even want things to begin with is because Capitalism and modern society has taught us to chase dopamine, constantly being entertained and never contemplating life.
The solution to any of this is to simply stop being an achievment subject and start living a contemplative life.
You talk about how our minds are programmed aswell, but you fail to see that exactly everything we do, or experience will program us, regardless of which subject in the Lacanian symbolic order is causing this. Without experience, we are a husk, what we truly want independantly of any experience are basic human instincts, and I don't think we lived for this long trying to transcend our basic human instincts to return to them.
Instead, maybe it would be a good idea to choose which experiences mold your idea of life? Philosophy is a good start, and not dogshit philosophy like the book you mentioned, I mean academic philosophy.
@@Bobzgfx good point. I have read it all
@@Bobzgfxglad you found your philosophy of life.
Jesus Christ is the eternal well of life ❤💧
Happiness is not a goal, but a by-product.
My advice is to develop a growth mindset and be willing to learn from your failures. I learned this from a book called 'Chase No More: The Path To Success'. It talks about how using some secret techniques you can attract almost anything and anyone in life. Probably the best book I read about being a modern man, and building success and wealth.
Perfection leaves no room for the pursuit of growth.
Who's the author? This looks like an ad.
@@dextercool it is bots are everywhere
@@dextercool Author is David N
@@JayJay-lf8cy Well, I ain't one
Inner peace leads to happiness. Yes, improve your life and challenge yourself. But also work on your spiritual journey. Meditation, Qi Gong, Nei Gong, Nei Dan, Yoga, Tai Chi Chuan, Advaita Vedanta, KörperIntelligenz. are the names of some tools you can learn and use transform yourself 😊
Desire causes pain.
pain causes desire , for an aspirin